Michelle Humphrey

College Essay

September 22, 2020

Prompt 2-The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount
a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from
the experience?
Mother to Be

Women are the superior gender in society. Not only are they able to nourish a baby in their womb

for nine whole months, but they are also able to do so without any help from males at all. From my mom I

draw so many of my strengths as she is a single mother to three, raised small children alone, and is a

successful businesswoman. Growing up I never had a father figure in my life. I thought this was normal

and never questioned it until I got older. Until recently, I had never known the truth about my other half,

but I wish I could erase his existence from my memory completely.

Around 13 I began to meet my father for the first time. No excuse for his absence or lack of

support in my life. He was never there even for my birthdays or game days. But the truth eventually came

out about his past with drugs and criminal history, including his recurring problem of lying and stealing

thousands of dollars from my mom. It seems as if this is all made up, like something out of a movie

perhaps, but sadly that would be much better than the truth of it all. The last time I saw him was in court

and I will forever have the image of his eyes glaring at me without a single ounce of remorse in them.

From this heart-sinking moment in time is where I draw my love of children. The one person in the world

who is supposed to love me is not able to, which leaves an empty hole in my heart. I am determined to fill

this gap for other kids and never let their little kindle of love burn from their hearts.

I have just as much love in my heart for other people’s kids as a mother does for her own child.

My biggest goal in life is to be a mom so when I am able to babysit or tutor, it gives me excitement for

my future. Being a mom is often underappreciated and overlooked. Society sees it as an easy job when in

reality it is not. I have experienced this first hand while babysitting two newborn twins. The sleepless

nights and endless bottle making, cleaning, changing, bathing, burping, and everything else in between is
 Humphrey 2
definitely not for the faint of heart. I’m obsessed with the feeling of fulfillment and purpose that someone

so tiny and innocent relies on me and I am there to make their life the best it can be.

From this stems my passion for teaching. Through my Virginia Teachers For Tomorrow class, I

have been able to find that teaching young kids brings me so much happiness. They are so eager to learn,

always on the edge of their seat soaking up every bit of information they are told. Their hands shoot up in

the sky so fast when asked a question and the look of accomplishment they have when they answer a

question correctly is priceless. I look forward to being around kids and my whole schedule revolves

around when I can see them next. My heart pounds with excitement and I can’t help but let a huge smile

spread across my face.

Growing up without a father figure left me envious of those who take theirs for granted. There

comes a certain shame and embarrassment of having someone walk out of your life, not caring about the

damage left behind. Instead, I choose to be grateful. I know where I want to go in life and exactly how I

will not treat my future children. That feeling of being unwanted will never leave me but I know I can

make an impact on the future kids in my life who may be dealing with the same situation.

Personal Narrative (College Essay) Scoring:

_____title, double-spaced, page headings (correct format)(10)

_____introduction with an attention-grabbing hook (10)
_____a solid thesis is clearly stated (10)
_____body paragraphs contain adequate examples with explanations (10)
_____transition words and phrases create flow (10)
_____no digressions – (getting off topic) (10)
_____conclusion restates thesis and provides closure (10)
_____strong details/ “shows” rather than “tells” (10)
_____conventions –grammar, usage, and mechanics (10)
_____uses literary devices, sensory impressions (10)
Total_____/100