Argument for Having Sex Before Marriage

 You may never get married

Statistics show more people are less interested in exchanging vows. In fact, according to a story
by The Boston Globe, there were 2.48 million marriages in 1984, a number that dropped to 2.13
million in 2013. Further, in a study by Gallup, 52 percent of adults 18 to 29 were single/ never
married in 2004, while that number increased to 64 percent in 2014. With less people getting
married, one may never have sex if they’re waiting to tie the knot first.

 Early marriage leads to higher divorce rate

Many young people who wait to have sex until married traditionally get married younger, but
statistics show this leads to higher divorce rates and unhappier marriages. As shown in a report
by Family Studies, people younger than 20 have a 32 percent risk of divorce within five years of
their first marriage, and 20- to 24-year-olds have a 20 percent chance of divorce (opposed to 15
percent for 25- to 29-year-olds). This shows that waiting to have sex can lead to an unhappy
marriage and divorce, and premarital sex leads to more stable marriages.

Example: (1) Actress Hilary Duff famously saved sex for marriage. Once married, she and her
husband separated a year later. (2) Jessica Simpson was also a virgin until she married Nick
Lachey in 2002, though they filed for divorce in 2005.

 You will be able to see if you and your partner are sexually compatible

Not everyone is sexually compatible. Having sex with your partner before marriage will help to
determine if you are compatible with each other. Let’s say you wait until your wedding night to
have sex, only to learn that your partner — who you worked so hard to save yourself for — is
not the best in bed, not a great kisser and overall not what you expected intimately. Sex is only
great when the chemistry is there, which is why many couples that wait to have sex often later
file for divorce.
According to Kristen Mark, Ph.D., M.P.H. of Psychology Today, “Perceiving sexual compatibility
with a partner has been shown to be related to sexual satisfaction, such that the more sexually
compatible you are, the more sexually satisfied you are. And researchers have consistently
found that sexual satisfaction is also significantly positively related to relationship satisfaction.” If
you aren’t happy in a relationship, then there are higher chances that you will not stay in it for a
long-term.

 Sex is natural and can makes us happy

It is natural and normal for most human beings to pursue sex, especially at an age when they
begin to understand their sexual identity. Depriving yourself of sex (before marriage) can have a
negative impact on endorphins and lead to depression and anxiety. According to Dr. Anjan
Chatterjee’s book The Aesthetic Brain: How We Evolved to Desire Beauty and Enjoy Art, when
people are sexually satisfied, they have more neural activity, the same pattern seen when
people are sated with food.
1. Most adult human beings naturally desire sex. And despite the rightwing emphasis on
concepts like “purity”, having sex does not actually make you a dirty or “impure” person.
On the contrary, sex is like most other pleasurable things in life – you can have sex in
ways that are fulfilling, fun, good and generous, or you can have sex in ways that are
harmful, bad and dangerous. Marriage is not, and has never been, a way to protect
against the harmful, bad and dangerous potential of sex. Instead of fooling ourselves
into thinking that waiting until marriage makes sex “good”, we should focus on how
ethical, responsible sexual practices – taking precautions to protect the physical and
mental health of yourself and your partner; having sex that is fully consensual and
focused on mutual pleasure – are part of being an ethical, responsible human being.

2. Premarital sex, of course, also have some disadvantages such as unintended

pregnancy, abortion, and sexually transmitted infections. But this problem with premarital
sex isn’t that we’re having it before marriage; it’s that we don’t have the proper
knowledge on how to have a safe sex. Lack of sex education is a big factor why there is
high rates of unintended pregnancy, abortion, and sexually transmitted infections around
the world. Sex education is important especially on teenagers because it will teach
young people about the consequences of unprotected sex and helps them become more
sexually responsible. Practicing safe sex not only curbs unwanted pregnancies, but it
also protects against sexually transmitted diseases.

3. Sexually frustrated marriages are both miserable and common – the inboxes of advice
columnists from Dan Savage to Dear Prudie are filled with letters from couples with
mismatched sex drives and bad sex lives. We'd be a lot better-off if we recognized that
sex is incredibly important to a lot of people, and, for most couples, sexual compatibility
is necessary for a great marriage. You really can't tell if you're sexually compatible
unless you have sex. The insistence that premarital sex is dirty or perverse makes it a
whole lot harder to have necessary conversations. And a worldview that positions sex as
shameful and bad also isn't going to evaporate on the wedding night.

4. Purity peddlers construct a false universe where there are pure virgins who wait until
marriage, and then there are slutty whores who are going home with different men every
night of the week. The truth is that most adults will have a great many important
relationships in their lives – some of those relationships will be romantic, and some of
those will be sexual. That's a good thing: our relationships with other people, sexual or
not, are how we grow, evolve and learn about ourselves. They're how we figure out what
love is, what we like physically and emotionally, and how to negotiate our own needs
with someone else's. Despite the claims of the wait-till-marriage camp, waiting to have
sex won't protect you from heartache, frustration or love lost. But a variety of fulfilling
relationships, sexual and not, will make you a more well-rounded, compassionate and
self-assured person.

5. There is nothing wrong with avoiding sex for personal or religious reasons. If you believe
in waiting until marriage, then by all means, you do you. What’s wrong is forcing others
to conform with your own beliefs – and condemning them for doing otherwise. Sex isn’t
an issue of morality; it’s a biological process. So you can’t attach the notions of wrong or
right on such a natural act, unless it’s done without consent. So to say that having sex is
equivalent to setting aside your dreams for a few minutes of pleasure is illogical at best.
Also, let’s not deny that concept of “saving yourself until marriage” and virginity are
products of a patriarchal society.
Reference:
https://www.fyi.tv/relationships/the-arguments-for-and-against-saving-sex-for-marriage
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2012/sep/24/moral-case-for-sex-before-marriage
https://www.modernfilipina.ph/health/health-issues/sex-education-in-the-philippines