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A Mental Trick to Make Any Task

Less Intimidating
All you have to do is picture yourself on the other side

Laura Vanderkam Feb 19 · 4 min read

Illustration by Dora Godfrey for Forge

A few years ago, one of my children became obsessed with roller coasters.
He watched video after video to study them from afar. He designed his own
in computer games. There was just one problem: He was terrified of
actually riding one.

Eventually, he identified the “Sooper Dooper Looper” at Hersheypark as a

potential option: It wasn’t too tall or too fast, and had only one inversion.
But when we actually went to the park, he started to lose his nerve. I knew
he would regret it if he didn’t ride the roller coaster after all that, so I
reminded him that in two minutes, the ride would be over. Even if he hated
it, it was only two minutes (1:45, to be exact). I told him to picture himself
on the other side of those two minutes.

So he did, and then he rode the coaster. And when it was over, he was really
glad he’d tried it. I, meanwhile, was glad that a trick I use often had worked
once again. This skill of picturing our future selves is fundamental for Top highlight

discipline — but it’s also important for happiness, which is just as

important.

To Get Better at Planning, Get to Know Your Future Self

‘Self-continuity’ is an underrated but vital decision-making strategy
forge.medium.com

Be kind to your future self

Humans are pretty bad at picturing our future selves. Research has found
that when we think about them, the brain regions that are activated are
similar to those activated when we think about strangers — but not as much
to those activated when we think about our current selves.

This may be one reason that people under-save for retirement. Or why we
stay up too late — because, as Jerry Seinfeld once observed, a lack of sleep
is “Morning Guy’s problem.” But the same research found that when people
could actually see (simulated) pictures of their aged selves, then they made
better choices.

This suggests the wisdom of really picturing ourselves on the other side of
any hard choice. For instance, you might remember that in the past, you’ve
always felt exhilarated after an invigorating sunrise run. Presumably
“Future You” will feel the same way. Picture yourself on the other side of the
unpleasantly cold moment when you actually have to swing your legs out of
bed and put your feet on the floor. Instead, focus on coming home, rosy-
cheeked and on a runner’s high.

This is really discipline in a nutshell. By picturing ourselves on the other

side, we don’t have to choose what is immediately easy.

Get disciplined about happiness

Of course, it’s not just about discipline and choosing what’s good for us.
Picturing ourselves on the other side can actually lead to a lot more
happiness. That’s because the “self” is really multiple selves. The
psychology researcher Daniel Kahneman offers a helpful rubric: There’s an
“experiencing self” (what you are doing and feeling right now) and a
“remembering self” (where you mentally spend a lot of your time —
thinking about memories and what you’ve done in the past). I often think
about my anticipating self, too — the part that’s dreaming and wondering
about the future.

Your anticipating and remembering selves want you to do all kinds of

wonderful things. Your anticipating self would like to take a spin on that
outdoor ice rink downtown that everyone’s talking about. Your
remembering self will have fond memories of those twinkling lights, the
gleaming ice, and the amazing hot chocolate you sipped afterwards.
Unfortunately, your experiencing self is the one who actually has to get off
the couch, bundle up, and drive downtown in the cold. She resents this
division of labor, and so she suggests you skip it and do what’s easiest in the
moment: stay home and watch TV. Which is fun, but probably not as fun
and memorable as the ice rink.

The only solution to this constant happiness dilemma is to picture yourself

on the other side. If you’re excited about doing something, most likely you’ll
be happy to have done it. You just have to go through a short time of
something challenging to emerge to this happy state.

I’m certainly trying to remind myself of this as I embark on several big

projects. I’m writing a book that involves a long and complicated time diary
study, and that often feels hard and intimidating. But I’ve written other
books. I know that eventually I will hold this book in my hand. My family is
undertaking a big and complicated house renovation. But eventually we
will move into our lovely new home. I can picture us on the other side, and
it helps me to hold steady through the mess.

As for my coaster-curious child? He wound up riding several more roller

coasters before we left the park. Turns out they’re pretty fun, even for the
experiencing self. Good thing he pictured himself on the other side first.

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