Personality Development Module 1

Republic of the Philippines
NORTHERN ILOILO POLYTECHNIC STATE COLLEGE

Estancia, Iloilo
SCHOOL OF MANAGEMENT
Bachelor of Science in Business Administration
Personality Development
First Semester, AY 2020-2021
Module 1
Your Image and Its Impact
Read the discussion and answer the assessment that follow, submit via messenger or
email at limsonmarissa0516@gmail.com
Introduction
In this module you would be able to understand and describe yourself through your
image.
Learning outcomes: upon completion of this module you shall be able to

1. Identify your image.
2. Enumerate the factors that made you what you are.
3. Describe the way you want to look:
4. Make your “new you” fit your environment and see if your “identity test” is what you
are.
Discussion
Relaxed, radiant, and elegant! There is nothing like visualizing yourself and sending out
messages to others. Does your self-presentation say that you have done your home- work? Or
does it camouflage the real you?
Personal packaging sends out messages to others. Does yourself – presentation say that
you have done your home-work? Or does it camouflage the real you? Is your personal packaging
a true picture of your inner beauty combined with your outer beauty? That is the goal. Picture
yourself as an exquisitely and brightly wrapped gift whose contents are unknown. Later, you will
unveil the contents: the way you move – your visual poise; the manner in which you behave and
speak – your social grace; the eclectic knowledge - your aesthetic awareness.
Your image is a reproduction or a mental picture of you as seen by others. Thus, other
people’s reactions to you can tell you whether your image is working for you or against you.
The way you are treated in this world depends largely on the way you present yourself –
the way you look, the way you speak, the way you behave. If you look undeserving, chances are
NIPSC-SOM-BSBA 1st Semester A.Y. 2020-2021|PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT 1
By: Prof. Marissa C. Limson
you will be treated that way. If you act defensively, you invite attacks. On the other hand, if you
act strong and confident, people will respond to you with respect and difference.
Unfortunately, many young Filipinos present themselves poorly. Instead of acting confident, they
appear overly modest and shy. Instead of behaving assertively, they behave too submissively.
Instead of acting as if they are in control of a situation, they let the situation, appear to be
controlling them.
If such men could only see themselves as others do, they would probably correct their
negative behaviour automatically – and, in the process, raise their self – esteem. But since we
cannot step outside ourselves and look at our own actions, the process of change is more
complicated.
FACTORS THAT MADE YOU WHAT YOU ARE NOW
Where are you from? Are you from the city? Are you from a small town? There is a
cause-and effect relationship between your past experiences - particularly what happened to you
in your family and in the way you are.
The way you respond to people as an adult is largely based on the way you learned to
respond to members of your family as you were growing up. For example your relationship with
your parents is probably the most significant interaction you experienced during your formative
years. And for the rest of your life, you will tend to respond to other people who are significant
authority figures in the same manner that you responded to your parents.
How did your mother make you feel?
Did she make you feel as if nothing you did was right? Were you protected too much?
Did she give you assignments that you were responsible for? Did she approve of your being a
tomboy or “gay”? Were you always the center of attention?
All these roles that you played, you will tend to assume in the office. If you were given
little assignments to be responsible for you in your home, you will easily assume little
responsibilities in the office, and so on. The earlier you were given a chance to assert yourself at
home, the easier time you will have in assuming leadership roles at work.
How do your friends look at you?
How do your classmates see you? If you were the center of of attention in your family,
you may also want to be that with your friends. Do your friends look at you as a leader or a
follower? When you are scolded for something that you have done in school or with your
friends, do you rebel and say “who cares. . . to hell with. . “ because if you do, you are carrying
over childish behaviour in your adult-hood. This will only make you unhappy because your
adult friends and classmates will not want to play “parent” with you. You will lose your friends
this way.
What names were you given when you were a child? Was it “nene”, or “Pogi”, or
“Baby”, etc. These names affect the way you envision yourself today. These old behavior
patterns may not be appropriate for you anymore and it may be time to change them.
It is time now to consider the “name”you would like to have as an adult. Some
possibilities are “superwomen” or “powerful”, “leader”, etc. There may be more than one name
you want to apply to yourself.
Write down the name that labeled you as a child and the name you would like to have
describe you now. Under the childhood name, list the benefits you remember and perhaps still
are receiving; such as, attention, love, admiration. Then under your adult name, list the things
you feel you would have to give up to fully merit that name.
For instance, if your name before was “Baby” and you would like to be called “boss”
now, you would have to give up being everyone’s best friend, being one of the boys, but think
that you will get the benefits of being the “boss”, such as respect, status, and prestige. Every
change requires a trade-off. You have to be willing to make the sacrifices that accompany
change and get a totally new set of rewards. So be honest with yourself. You decide which is
right for you and once you understand what you really want, you will feel more in control of
your life.
MAKE YOUR IMAGE FIT YOUR ASPIRATIONS
How do you want to look? Check off the ones that best describe the way you want to look:
 Chic
 Authoritative
 Creative
 Sexy
 Understand
 Businesslike
 Casual
 Feminine
 Tailored
 Flashy
 Macho
The effect of body language is also important here. Your body movements and your
facial expression affect the total image you are trying to project. Sit in front of the mirror with
your arms folded. Do you look friendly and out-going? Do you looks tough and masculine,
threatening, when you would like to look softer?
When you change your image, you have to be prepared for new responses from other
people – some positive, some negative. A new image will undoubtedly attract new types of
people. Old friends may not like the new “you” and pressure may make you revert to the old
“you”. Consider the fact, though, that you may have out – grown many of your old “buddies”.
Leaving “home” psychologically can be more painful than leaving home physically. This is a
natural growing pain – a necessary step toward achievement. Don’t give up.
Whatever image you have decided to work towards, be consistent, or you will look
funny. Suppose you have decided on a feminine, businesslike image, you cannot wear mini-
skirts to work, a long Maria Clara hairdo, topped with rows and rows of jewelry. This only
shows that you have no image integrity. Balance is the key. Your image won’t work if you are
not comfortable with it. People are confused when they see a shy girl in a low-cut, bright red
dress. Her mistake is in choosing a dress that was too dramatic for her. She couldn’t compete
with it.
The components of your image must be in harmony with each other. You are a total
entity, not an assemblage of disparate parts. Unfortunately, too many people send conflicting
images hence, “turn off” people instead of attracting them.
Lastly, your image must be in harmony with your environment. If you are in an office
environment, do you have a professional image? If you are in a social environment, do you have
a casual image? Think of your image as a form of communication. With it, you want to send out
messages that will evoke a positive response in others. If you are applying for a job, you would
like to create the image of stability, intelligence, businesslike, femininity, (if a woman) and
masculinity (if a man).
Assessment
Answer the following questions:
1. What does personal packaging include?
2. Explain the statement, “What you are now is a product of your beginning.”
3. What image do you want to project now? Explain.
4. Explain what is meant by “image integrity.”
(Your essay will be evaluated using the following criteria)
Content 10 points
Organization of ideas 5 points
Language facility 5 points
Total score: 20 points

Estancia, Iloilo
Module 2
Personality: Definition and its Components
Introduction
In this module you would be able to understand your personality and the personality of an
individual, why do we need to study personality and how do we need to improve it.

1. Identify job requirements needed for your qualifications.
2. Define personality and give its components.
3. Give examples of how personality is revealed and discuss why personality is important.
4. Discuss how personality differences occur and how personality is improved.
Discussion
PERSONALITY is one of the major qualifications given as a major requirement.

It is often said that workers are fired, not because of lack of skills for the job, but because they
could not get along well with their fellow workers. This is a personality problem. Anybody who
works with people – and everybody does – is concerned with personality.
Looking into the criteria for judging in beauty contests will perfectly illustrate the importance of
personality. According to those who have personally witnessed these contests, judges place
more weight on poise over physical assets and on personality over beauty of face and figure.
A winner for the title of “Miss Universe” or “Miss Internationl” should possess communication
skills, the ability to cope with hectic time schedules, adaptability to all sorts of situations,
particularly trying ones, willingness to accept and be accepted by all kinds of people, anywhere
and everywhere. She would be called upon to project herself as an epitome of beauty and to
project it to the best of her ability with poise and a distinct personality that can cope with
unforeseen circumstances.

In getting a job, these characteristics are equally necessary – conversational skills, adaptability,
ability to project one’s self as an impressive “personality.”
WHAT PERSONALITY IS
Personality may be defined as the SUM TOTAL OF THE QUALITIES AND

CHARACTERISTICS OF A PERSON AS SHOWN IN HER MANNER OF WALKING,
TALKING, DRESSING, AND HER ATTITUDES, INTERESTS, AND WAYS OF REACTING
TO OTHER PEOPLE. It refers to all the factors within the person that influence his
characteristic ways of behaving, thinking, and feeling. It is your image on others. In life we tend
to accept or reject others according to what we think about their personalities. Employer often
tend to hire or promote a person on personality than on what he/she knows about the job.
Once others have decided on the nature of our personalities, they tend to treat us
accordingly. Often the judgement is based on a first general impression and does not change
even though the interpretation was erroneous and our behaviour has changed dramatically. This
unchanging opinion of others based only on a first general impression is known as the “halo
effect.” For example, during the first meeting with an applicant, he makes an inappropriate
remark to the interviewer, the interviewer labels the applicants “wise guy” for the rest of the
screening process even though the applicant could have been an ideal worker.
People often fall in love and marry because they believe their personalities match well.
They enjoy the same activities and their opinions, interests, and values are similar. Personalities
change, however, hence we all see unhappily married couples who, unfortunately, have not
“grown” or changed together.
WHAT ARE THE COMPONENTS OF PERSONALITY?
A worker may have a pleasing personality and yet not be considered for promotion because other
aspects of his/her personality prove to handicap his/her work. This was the case of Trixia.
Trixia, who learned to use a computer in school and who had a little knowledge of various
programs found it difficult to land a job.
Being pleasing and attractive in appearance is only one aspect of personality. In general, the
following are the aspects of personality.
1. Physical. This includes the mode of dressing, manner of walking, posture, body build,
health, complexion, and facial expression.
2. Intellectual. How a person talks and what she talks about is what matters in the
intellectual component of personality. He must develop his intellect or “brain.”
3. Social. Good manners, correct manners are included in this aspect of personality. To do
the right thing at the right time, to act in the proper manner, to get along well with others
– these are all parts of the social sphere of personality.
4. Emotional. This component includes a person’s likes or dislikes, whether he/she is
outgoing or shy, whether he/she is calm or nervous, and whether he/she loses his/her
temper easily or “keeps her cool. “Personality problems, such as how to stay mentally
healthy or how to avoid mental disorders are some problems that are emotional in nature.

5. Value System. This-includes a person’s attitudes, values, beliefs, and philosophy in life.
This aspect is referred to a CHARACTER. It is shown in the way we judge whether our
actions and the actions of others are right or wrong.
HOW PERSONALITY IS REVEALED
Personality is not revealed in one meeting. It unmasks itself, so to speak, in various ways.
Sometimes, crisis situations reveal the real personality. In a boy – meets- girl situation, the first
impression is usually based on appearance – physical stature, grooming, facial features, gait,
poise, etc. A favorable impression is usually created by a beautiful face, a regal walk, and is
always a pleasant and lasting one. Appropriate clothes and good grooming add to that first
favourable impression.
When the two begin to exchange ideas the boy reacts to her voice, her words, her
interests, and her manner of expressing herself. Her intelligence starts revealing itself. If she has
nothing to say, the impression created by the lovely face and regal bearing is erased. She might
impress him as “beautiful but dumb.” If what she says, however makes sense and is interesting
and informative, she may create the impression of being the “beauty and brains” type.
The acquaintance ripens into friendship. Each will observe how the other reacts to
problem situations. Is she nervous? Is she calm? Does she raise her voice often? Is she easily
rattled? If so, she is nervous and emotionally unstable. On the other hand, if she keeps her
composure under stress and is not easily upset in times of crises, she possesses a high degree of
emotional stability.
Social situations will bring other impressions. One who acts like a “Victorian lady” may
fittingly suit a woman who has excellent manners when she is with company. “She is a lady in
every way”, is a comment given to a girl with fine manners and finesse. Manners may be based
on traditions and conversations of the time and people tend to follow certain established patterns
of behavior.
As friendship deepens into a more stable and meaningful one, and the real self shows
itself, other aspects of personality reveal themselves. Her set of values, her beliefs, and her
attitudes which determine her philosophy of life affect the way she solves her problems and
reacts to situations. As a Filipina, her religion usually influences her way of thinking in many
ways.
This sequence of impressions should not lead one to believe, however, that personality
unfolds itself exactly in this order. The totality of an individual’s behavior is evaluated as a
whole and not in separate pieces, although one or two aspects of one’s personality may create a
stronger impression than the other.
WHY IS THE STUDY OF PERSONALITY IMPORTANT?
What does the study of the human personality have to do with you and your daily life?
The study of the human personality could very well be one of the most significant studies
for you not only now but in the future as well. For it is trough understanding of your own
personality and the personalities of your fellowmen that will spell the difference between success
and failure in your dealings with them. And understanding of your personality and of others’ can
make the difference between satisfactory and unsatisfactory adjustment.

If you were to ask people of various ages and walks of life what their most pressing
personal problem is, many of them would say: Understanding my fellowmen (whether a parent,
a spouse, a superior, a child, a girlfriend or a boyfriend, etc).
Most of us see only some small aspects of the true personalities of those around us. We
only see the image that is seen on the surface, which may not rreally represent the entire
personality of the individual.
Mistakes in evaluating the judging personalities are often one of the major causes for the
interpersonal problems involved in marriage, dating, business associations or relations between
friends. The study of personality should, therefore, result in our own personality as well as to
understand others so that we can adjust to them and have harmonious relations with them.
PERSONALITY DIFFERNCES
We are all different because of three factors: (1)heredity, (2) environment, and (3) experiences.
Our Heredity - We are born with a set of genes and chromosomes which we inherit from our
forefathers and our parents. These sets the limits to our potential. This potential is achieved to the
fullest by the proper use of environment – our experiences over the years, especially our
interaction with other people.
There have been many attempts to estimate the relative importance of heredity and
environment on personality development. There is evidence that children reared in poor
environments generally suffer deficient language and intellectual development and develop
general personality defects, such as lack of emotional responsiveness and inadequacy in relating
to other persons. However, not all children reared in impoverished environments are equally
defective.
Twins who are reared in separate environments show greater equality of scores on
intelligence tests than unrelated children reared in separate environments. The greater similarity
of intelligence between twins is explained on the basis of greater similarity in genetic
endowments. Yet, there is ample evidence that intelligence scores of children are influenced by
environmental circumstances.
The environment - This consists of your family, school, church, social groups, and other
groups with whom we interact from the very beginning. Each group puts pressure on us and we
behave in certain ways as a result of being with these groups. Our behaviour changes with each
situation and with the people we are with. We behave differently when we are with our parents,
teachers, and others older than us.
Our experiences - These consist of everything that we do or get in touch with, everywhere we
got in short, everything that we are exposed to in our lifetime, whether physical, emotional, or
social experiences.
IMPROVING PERSONALITY
Even though much of our personality is set early in life, experiences in later life do have an
influence on our behavior. Sometimes an event such as an experience of success or failure may
bring about drastic changes in personality patterns.
Fortunately, personality can be improved. Charm, popularity, glamour – these are only a
part of personality.
There is much more to our personality than the impression we make on others.
Personality shows itself even when there are no people around us to impress.
All of us are constantly evaluating and modifying our behavior in the light of our
experiences of success or failure. We all have ideas about ourselves. What may bother us is the
accuracy of our self appraisal, Are we realistic? Have we underestimated or overestimated our
abilities? The important thing is that our self-appraisal will help us develop our personalities so
that we can better interact with other people.
Remember that you are the architect of your own personality. The building blocks of
your personality structure contain diversities of experiences. The more you get involved in the
world and the more you accept its challenges, the greater will be the opportunities to test out
what you believe to be true about yourself and to build your personality.
TECHNIQUES IN IMPROVING PERSONALITY
In improving anything, there are usually four steps to follow:
1. Realize that improvement is needed.

2. Have a strong motive or desire to improve.
3. Take an inventory or make a checklist of the strong and weak points, or what is to be
improved, and
4. Have a step-by-step plan for improvement.
If you feel that you are perfect and need no improvement, then you cannot be helped. But
if you can say to yourself that you can stand some improvement and have a strong desire to
improve, then you can go on to step 3 and 4,
After you have taken stock of yourself, set a schedule for self-improvement. At the end of
this course, recheck to see whether you have succeeded in improving yourself.
FACING YOUR WORLD
With mirror in hand, examine your reflexion thoughtfully, as if you were looking at another
person for the first time. Consider the face-first its general structure and features and then its
expression – and try to imagine how you would react should you, astonishingly, meet up with
your double. Now, try a smile. Often the face becomes dazzling when lit by a genuine feature –
a smile. An eye to eye contact, a slight turn to the head to present a nice profile can do wonders.
With practice, refinements of expression and position become a natural and effective means of
making the most of your looks. A brief smile, the evidence of genuine interest, or the ability to
compose yourself and achieve or later the personality and inner self an inner serenity can become
instant beauty treatments. Having assessed your own first impression impact and experimented
with facial expressions and head positions, concentrate on your individual features. While the
total composite is probably quite pleasing, it is important to learn at a young age which
components are the most striking and which are less attractive – to alter any of them, but because
there are ways to play up your best features and direct attention away from less appealing ones.
The gaol is to make your face as a whole as lovely/handsome and interesting as it can be. This is
a goal that is possible for every girl/boy.
CREATING YOUR VISUAL STATEMENT
Through an extensive study of line, shape, and color, you can create your very own
Visual Statement. Every moment of our lives, we communicate with other people. Even before a
word is spoken, most perceptions and judgements are made. Are you warm and friendly or cold
and aloof, a success or a failure? These are only some of the traits which can be and often are
transmitted visually.
The purpose of a Visual Statement is:

- To visually create a message which communicates what you want others to know about
you through your appearance.
- To convey outwardly your level of inner confidence.
Your Visual Statement will give you the power to achieve results. People will recognize
your chosen qualities and treat you with respect. This can help you achieve your personal and
professional goals and develop more effective relationships. You can easily have more than one
Visual Statement in a lifetime. You may also want to change your look, depending upon a given
situation, such as a social occasion versus a business situation. Quite often, creating/developing a
Visual Statement according to your immediate goals will make the major difference in achieving
them.
TAKING CENTER STAGE
Your body is a wondrous creation, but it can be weakened by neglect or abuse. On the other
hand, the flow of good health, good grooming, and a flattering use of cosmetics and clothing can
insure that you fulfil your potential and make a positive impression on everyone you meet.
Almost all of us have the secret desire to be “on stage” – to be a star. Fame is achieved by
very few, but each of us is “on stage” in the social world we inhabit. Every time you
communicate with someone, either face-to-face, via the telephone, or by letter, you are the center
of attention as far as the other person is concerned. You should project to the world the best you
have to offer. Everyone is born with God-given looks and basic talents. In some aspects we are
strong, in others weak. Some parts of yourself you can improve substantially, others you can do
little about. You should not be concerned about the things that you cannot change – your height
or the size of your feet, for example. Instead, you should concentrate on areas that you can
change.
DEFINING BEAUTY IN MEN AND WOMEN
What is beauty? It is an innate quality, a way of being, a manner of acting. It is also a way of
looking. When we think of beauty, we primarily think of physical beauty, knowing fully well
that sooner or later the personality and inner self must supersede the outer beauty of the face and
figure. However, to achieve balanced beauty the inner and outer must blend together to be joined
by an ability to love and to be loved, by an awareness and curiosity about life, by intelligence,
happiness, social grace, and by self-expression through all bodily movements – beauties are
made, not born.
Beauty is also very much a state of mind. Beauty is a quality that should grow with each
passing day and be developed to last a lifetime. Beauty is enhanced by absorbing the beauty that
surrounds you in your daily life. Your personal beauty will be enhanced as your awareness of
beauty grows. As an exercise to help awaken your awareness of beauty, first open your eyes to
the beauty of the elements of nature surrounding you – the stars, the moon, white clouds, blue
skies, mountains, trees, flowers, and streams. An awareness of external beauty helps you
establish your own standards for beauty and develop a philosophy by which you will wish to
live.
Notice your friends. One of your friends may have great physical beauty, the kind that
makes all the boys take notice. Another has a terrific personality – she is always bubbly and fun
to be with. A third may not be so handsome or so happy but he is smart. No one is just physical
appearance, personality, or intelligence alone. You are a combination of all three facets. Think of
yourself a diamond which must be cut with many facet should be proportioned in such a way that
your complete beauty shines forth.
OUTER BEAUTY
Outer beauty is highlighted not only by personal attractiveness, but by outer behavior,
poise, and education. Your speech, diction, grammar, and sensitivity in communication reflect
your true nature. It is your total image that determines just how beautiful or handsome you really
are. First you must survey your present habits of nutrition and exercise, and use of makeup and
clothing. From there, you must embark upon a program of personal enhancement and
development that brings out the positives and plays down the negatives.
Establishing the proper attitude has brought you to the exciting point when you are ready
to cut an important facet of your diamond – the first impression. Although it is common
knowledge that looks can deceive, there is no escaping the fact that physical appearance is the
major criterion in making a first impression, and first impressions are of the utmost importance.
When preparing for a first impression, work to improve everything possible – even the
most minute detail. What may appear insignificant when considered alone can combine with
other imperfections to project carelessness. To each new person you encounter, the way you look
and behave is a sample of your total self. In presenting yourself to others, think in terms of your
“packaging.” You want the person you meet to think, “I want to know this person better.”
Remember that it is natural in our society to rate those who come in pretty and proper packages
more positively, to perceive them as more talented, more intelligent, more adept at the social
skills.
People meet the outer you before they are able to know the inner you. They respond to
the “picture” you make and to the springy and energetic, or uninteresting and uncommunicative
way you are feeling even before you exchange hellos. Therefore, it is necessary that you work to
perfect your outer “Packaging”. This consists of your physical beauty and general personal
appearance which is enhanced through your clothing, accessories, makeup, and hairstyle, as well
as the shape and condition of your body.

INNER BEAUTY
To think beautiful is to be beautiful.

Everything begins with your perception. Ready? With your eyes shut, think the words, “I am
beautiful or handsome.” With your eyes open, write, “I am beautiful.” With a sincere smile, in
the privacy of your room, say, “I am beautiful. “The seeds of beauty – an attitude by which to
live and an image to project – are the most valuable seeds of thought you can plant and cultivate
in your secret mental garden. Just now, by thinking, writing, and saying, “I am beautiful or
handsome” – you sowed the seeds. After sowing the seeds of beauty cultivation must begin.
Cultivation is comprised of the responsibility and the commitment on your part to make beauty
become a reality in your life. This takes time and work, However, you will begin to fell beautiful
as soon as you begin to work on your physical, emotional, mental, and aesthetic being.
Cultivating the thought, “I am beautiful” requires self-analysis, goal, goal-setting, commitment,
discipline, and perseverance. You must learn to recognize your strengths and weaknesses, your
good and bad qualities, and then decide what can be done about each of them-which will you
play up and which will you play down, or ignore?
LIKING YOURSELF
An essential to beauty is to like yourself, even to love yourself. Respect and love for your unique
self and an understanding of your nature go hand in hand with respect, love, and understanding
of others. Only when you begin to like yourself will you become a vital, interested, and
interesting person. Only when you feel good about yourself and accept yourself will you begin to
like yourself. The object is to develop a friendly relationship with yourself. If you would not
want yourself as a friend, ash why. Your answer will reveal the small or large changes you need
to make to become a person you can sincerely admire.
Making those changes is well worth the effort. The rewards of liking yourself are
outward poise and inward confidence. And once you have discovered and developed self-
confidence, you will have unearthed the single more important attribute of a great beauty.
Confidence is magic! It brightens your eyes, straightens your posture, brings a smile to your lips,
enables you to forget yourself, and draws others to you. It inspires the spark and the glow of
genuine inner beauty, the luster of a finished person.
What I believe is what tends to happen. My belief in positive things about myself and
other people give me an inner feeling of peace and a loving attitude. Inner beauty is calm, serene,
optimistic, poised, and self-confident, and once you have developed it, it will be reflected in your
posture, your face, and your voice. Failure to take care of your inner needs, to develop during
youth the character and ideals with which you can live, can adversely affect your entire life.
Eventually, any neglect of the inner person will begin to reflect negatively in the outer person.

Assessment
Answer the following questions:
1. Definition of personality
2. What are the components of personality? Explain each.
3. Explained how personality is revealed.
4. Why is the study of personality important?
5. What causes personality differences? Explain.
6. When you look at your face, what are some of the things you consider?
7. Explain Visual Statement. What is its purpose?
8. Explain the statement, “Be on Center Stage.”
9. Define Beauty.
10. Give characteristics of outer beauty and inner beauty.
Content 10 points
Reference: PERSONALITY For Today’s Young Professional (Third Edition)

AMPARO E. SANTOS Ed.D.

Estancia, Iloilo
Module 3
The Basic Wardrobe
Introduction
In this module you would be able to enhance your personality through your fashion and
style.

1. Choose your wardrobe for work wisely.
2. Identify what is called a “basic wardrobe”.
3. Develop your own style and identify some factors on the choice of colors that fit your
personality.
4. Enumerate some shopping rules.
Discussion
Treat your wardrobe as you would your cash. Follow the advice of this book and you will
develop an eye for quality and good bargain buys which will ensure you will make fashionably
good choices for work.
If your work has a uniform, lucky you, but if you have to make choices for your daily
needs, then you have to make wise choices to consider your peso value and look smart. We
suggest it is time to get clever about how you spend your pesos.
Coco Chanel, a woman who knew fashion like a model knows food – combining, had this
good advice: “All one needs are two or three suits, as long as they, and everything to go with
them, are perfect.” In theory she is right - only now, a pair of pants is a necessity, too. Plan your
long-term wardrobe, especially if your budget is limited. Only buy pieces that you can’t lie
without, and don’t be tempted to spend a lot on disposable trends. Your fashion investment
portfolio starts here.
FASHION FINESSE
Clothing is for protection, comfort, modesty, and enhancement of you beauty. To put on
anything that is in appropriate, gaudy, vulgar, or other-wise offensive to others detracts from
your appearance.
In our current society, clothes are an important and revealing part of life – beyond basic
protection against the elements, they are statement of individuality, status, creativity. How
fortune we are that contemporary attitudes allow for a good deal of leeway to exercise innovation
and flair. This freedom does, however, often bring about confusion because many men and
women are in a quandary about what to buy and what to wear for certain occasions. Some
guidelines to avoid expensive or embarrassing mistakes while developing your personal style
are:
Appropriateness above all – the best rule is always to dress within the bounds of classic
good taste. A sense of propriety, dictated by the occasion and the company, is necessary. Good
materials and lines embellished with elegance – rather than flamboyance or modish extremes –
are the unfailing guidelines that will ensure you comfort and ease. Appropriateness is determined
by a number of factors, and can change dramatically from situation to situation. Outside or
indoors, mixed ages or peers, geography, building, event, and the weather can affect one’s mode
of dress.
Fashion is serious. What you wear reveals a significant message about you and your
world. Even if you world. Even if you do not care about clothes per se, the communicate much
about your attitudes toward the occasion, your company, and yourself. In the morning you make
a decision about what to wear to which others respond all day long. Think of your clothe as the
most communicative factor after your face and eyes – personal style is how you send nonverbal
messages.
One dresses out of consideration fot others as well as for one’s own self-image. No one
wants to fade into the woodwork. It is nice sometimes to lead the pack, and quite naturally you
want your clothing to communicate the feeling that you “belong.” Your goal is a wardrobe of
clothes that are right for your body, your personality, your environment, and the specific
occasion.
MAKING CHOICES
In 1970, young fashion was jeans and t-shirt. Now, it is 2012 and it’s back to jeans again, but
not for work. Maybe if you work in a bodega or it is stylized as a uniform, or in a restaurant
perhaps. There are many alternatives in fashion today. If you learn a bit about fashion history,
by visiting museums and reading books, you might use your knowledge to bring to your dress
some lovely touches – a shawl – a belt, not only because they look good on you and are
comfortable and practical, but also because they add character to your clothes.
Dress conservatively. Simplicity, expressed in the highest quality fabric and the most
intelligent design, has a special elegance. “I’ve worn it ten years and I now feel comfortable in
it.” It is the comfort and self-confidence that the old favorites brought that make you feel “at
home.”
The most exciting thing about fashion is the artistic expression it permits. If you have a
sense of fashion’s past, you can indulge in appropriate whimsy – mix and match and feel
comfortable and at ease. The look must befit you and the occasion. View the fashion of the
present and, based upon your knowledge of the past, calculate its future as it relates to you and
your lifestyle.
What transforms a mere garment into a work of art and makes the person wearing it
shine? Your ability to pull it together and carry it off well. Beyond personal qualities, a number
of precise elements interact to create fashion: line, color, texture, mass and movement. A good
designer combines these qualities and so does the inspired clothes wearer. When you learn what
clothes are right for you – for your face, your figure, your personality, your lifestyle – you
become immune to the “rages” of commercial trend-makers. You can reject passing fancies, and
recognize timeless quality when you see it. The Italian and French Vogue are more aesthetically
focused and American Vogue more consumer-practical. Look at museum catalogues, too, for
authentic copies of historic belts, scarves, and jewelry to add a touch of the past to today.
A first step in learning who you really are is to take a good look at yourself and what you
do. Then decide in which general category - sporty, tailored, romantic, or sophisticated – you
feel the most comfortable. Remember that the choice is not static and does not forbid some
crossing over for variety and experimentation. You are growing and changing, although many
important traits of your character and personality are set, and you probably have matured
physically to the point where you can determine what type of clothing suits you best. This is the
right time to start planning an integrated wardrobe of pieces that will work well together – a
valuable, enjoyable learning experience.
TAKING STOCK
Ask yourself the following questions:
 Has my body size, weight, height, proportion changed?

 Has my lifestyle changed?
 Has my attitude changed?
 Have my friends, school, or workplace changed?
 What amount of time do I have to devote to the upkeep of my wardrobe?
 What are my monetary limitations?
 What impression do I want to make?
 Do I want to make any changes in my current style?
 How can I express my adaptation of the season’s trends without sacrificing my fashion
statement?
 Is there a role, or roles, I would enjoy acting out through dressing as I seek to discover
varied facets of my nature?
In order to create an image that you want in the eyes of the beholder, you must be able to
convincingly and naturally perform precisely those acts that will create the desired image.
Whenever people meet you, they form an instant judgement, even if it’s on subconscious
level. This is what is called, “first impression”. This is on a visual level and it crystallizes even
before you even open your mouth. Ninety percent of that first impression is an impression of
your clothing. The second impression is formed after you utter you first sentence, which form
10% of that first impression.
In those first crucial moments, the viewer is forming that impression and making decision
concerning the following factors:
1. Economic level – is he rich or poor? Is he working or unemployed?

2. Educational level – is he a high school or college graduate? Maybe he is an attorney
or doctor?
3. Social position – Does he live in one of the villages? Does he belong to the upper
socio-economic level or the lower level?
4. Level of sophistication – Is he the party-hopping type, the social register type?
Probably he is the “provinciano” type.
5. Family background – What is his social, educational, and economic heritage?
Assumptions about these are made. What is the position of the family in the
community? Are they known by their family names or not?
6. Successfulness – Is he successful? Does he have a car, a house and lot? Is he
important in his company? Is he known by his business associates and peers?
7. Moral character – Does he look honest? Is he the type who will put one over others?
Will he cheat me?
You may protest. That’s unfair! You can’t judge a book by its cover! But you do! Over
the years, you’ve learned to read a person’s clothing, appearance, expressions, and gestures. It’s
a silent language, a visual shorthand, and it helps you form decision about the other person’s
honesty, background, friendliness, attitude and intent. You may not be aware you are making
these decisions. But you do, even if on an unconscious level.
This procedure is exemplified, especially among Filipino families, when their children
have found a new friend, or worse still, when they introduce the person they will marry to
members of their family. The process of – “what family does he belong to? Where is he from?
Where does his father work? Where does he get his income? And so on and so forth – is made.”
When you see a person with a loose, baggy dress, long, unruly hair, dirty shoes, heavy
perspiration smell, and a sack – what is your impression? In contrast to this, when you see a man
in a priest’s clothing, will you hesitate to open the door for him?
ASSEMBLING A BASIC WARDROBE
The Basics
Basics are the mainstays of your wardrobe, the treasures upon which to sprinkle the sugar and
spice of the season’s trends. A good basic wardrobe is money in the bank, wonderful resource for
unexpected invitations. Now is the time to experiment with the ward robing principle that suits,
skirts, sweaters, coats, tailored and softly feminine daytime dresses are lifelong items, which
require only a dash of accent to keep up with fashion. Fancy party clothes, which rarely wear out,
may be considered almost as costumes and need not to be expensive at this stage of your life:
Two or three basic formals will provide excellent mileage.
How many of you have P5,000 lying around that you can spend immediately for a new
wardrobe? This section will give you a step-by-step advice on how to assemble a basic wardrobe
on a limited budget.
1. Clean up your closet – go through your clothes in your closet and cabinets. It is
impossible to have a well-planned, successful look when your closet is full of odds
and ends that you have bought through the years. Start with a pile of “if only” items.
These are items that you could wear “if only’ – I were thinner, “if only” it were not
out of style, “if only” there are no missing buttons, etc.
After you have gotten rid of the “if only” items, next discard items that you have
not worn in a year or so. After you have gotten rid of the unworn and unwearable, the
next step is to arrange everything that is left. Donate the ones you have removed to
your favourite charity.
Hang together everything that goes together; coordinate in one group; dresses in
another; party and active wear in another. Arrange blouses from the lightest shades to
darkest. The same goes for skirts, pants, and finally, dresses. Keep evening wear
separate. If you are in the beginning stages of assembling a wardrobe, don’t get
discouraged if your closet looks empty. By building slowly and wisely, you will
know when and how to select the right pieces to add. The day will come when you
will enjoy going thru your closet and feel secure that each piece not only is wearable
but also works well with other pieces that you have – and everything looks terrific on
you!
2. Know your figure – Look yourself over in front of full-length mirror, - do you have
a short figure, a thin frame, small bones, large bones; are you tall, fat short, slim? –
know your type before you start on your shopping trip. Embark on a figure reshaping
before you shop. Young Filipinos are on the thinner side, so there is no much
problem, except to gain a little weight, to have more “figure”.
3. Shop wisely . . . and well – since your clothing needs are determined by your
lifestyle, ask yourself where you spend 75% of your time. Is it home, work, school,
socials, travels, or sports? You should also take your budget into consideration. If you
are still a student, from now on, do not buy informal clothes. From now on, buy more
formal skirts and blouses, slacks that are fit for office use. Prepare yourself early
enough for that first interview and that first job. Start window shopping and look for
things that match. Imagine that a few months from now, you will spend 75% of your
time in an office, so look for clothes that are appropriate for work.
YOUR CLOSET
Think of your closet as a resource for your lifestyle. Your closet should be set up exactly
like a fine specialty shop. It must be scrupulously clean and free of junk. Blouses, shirts, skirts or
pants, sweaters, dresses should be grouped together. Colors should be arranged to spark your
imagination. Shoes should be stored in marked boxes at eye level for quick selection. Robes and
evening clothes should be hung so that they do not touch the floor. One section of the closet
might be double-racked to hang pants, skirts, blouses.

Your dresser drawers should be cleaned frequently and lined – with scented paper if you
choose – and should be partitioned to store panties, briefs, bras, slips, socks, and hosiery. The
latter are best protected in ziplock plastic bags. Belts can be hung on a man’s tie rack inside the
closet door.
The time spent on keeping your clothes in order will be repaid when you do not have to
hunt for things while dressing for an important party or when you have overslept on a school
morning; as an added bonus, your clothes will last longer and look better.
YOUR SEARCH FOR STYLE
To achieve true style your clothing and accessories must complement and compliment your
body and be an expression of your individuality. This does not mean that you can ignore style
and fashion, which, incidentally are not synonymous. Style is timeless and fashion is changing,
current, even trendy. Style is lasting and durable while fashion is fickle and commercial. Style is
the best of all past fashions – the features that have proven to be the most flattering, the most
comfortable, and the most practical.
Unlike fashion, you cannot buy style. With sufficient money you can go out and purchase
a total seasonal “look”, but style you must cultivate yourself through a knowledge of what is
really beautiful and lasting. It takes honestly and discipline to evaluate yourself in relation to
trends but style is a priceless quality and one that animates the lifeless garments you wear. Style
must be natural rather than affected, and it usually takes time to acquire – but one is never too
young to start.
DRESSING FOR THE OCCASION
Dressing for the occasion not only upgrades manners, it also enhances the poise and personality
of the host/hostess and her guest and sparks their spirits. You must develop an eye for fashion,
flair and style just as you develop an ear for opera or taste for caviar. However, fashion, flair, and
style must be developed under the umbrella of good taste. Many times, it is just as difficult to
dress appropriately and in good taste for an occasion as it is to behave in a mannerly fashion
once you arrive. There are too many temptations to misbehave in dress as there are in conduct.
To avoid them, let good taste be your motto. In dressing to present yourself properly to others,
and to pass the test of the first impression – try to:
 Dress properly to befit the occasion

 Interpret the season’s fashion based upon the timeless qualities of past traditions
 Incorporate individual flair and style
 Keep a keen sense of appropriateness not only to the occasion but also to your figure,
lifestyle, and age
As the years pass and you have the opportunity to dress for a variety of events and occasions,
your expertise will develop along with your instinct in knowing what clothing is appropriate and
in good taste. With patience, study, exposure, expert guidance, and trial and error, your good

taste will become refined and cultivated. Remember: it is more important to adhere to the rules
of appropriateness than to dictates of fashion.
SHOPPING RULES
Go shopping alone – or with a single friend whose taste you trust. Avoid a pack of people. Many
serious mistakes are made through impulse buying under pressure of a vocal group. Be sure that
you are attractively dressed and groomed, wearing the proper undergarments for the kinds of
clothes you will be trying on. Find a sales-person and tell him what are you looking for. Listen to
his suggestions if he impresses you as knowledgeable and sincere. Be sure that you returns
garments to hangers if you decide against buying them and let the salesperson know your
decision.
When searching for items to add to the clothes you already have, consider versatility. Do
not choose a costly blouse/skirt that goes with nothing in your closet, or that complements a
skirt/pants that may have only a few months of wear left. Choose what you feel has the staying
power to become a tradition and what works well with your on-hand wardrobe inventory. Never
pick a trend if you feel you could wear it for a few months only. Treat yourself to a touch of
today’s trend s but also invest in timeless traditions – select the best quality you can afford.
Do not overlook underclothing. Not only are the right undergarments important in
achieving a finished look, but fresh and pretty ones make you feel lovely and sexy. Once your
basic wardrobe is ready to go, you can consider the fun, trendy things, the “dessert” that follows
a well-balanced meal. But as with a chocolate sundae, a little goes a long way. Remember that
you soon tire of the splashy, especially if everyone is wearing it, and you will begin to feel that
you have lost your identity and taken a step backward from a style of your own. Remember that
establishing a personal style is your goal. Remember too that to discuss the price of anything is
never in good taste.
SHOPPING STRATEGIES
Preshopping or window shopping is recommended before actual buying. Clothes are expensive
and mistakes are both expensive and time-consuming. After you have looked over your closet
and have removed clothes that you will no longer use, look at styles in various magazines and
stores. Determine what you need for work and make sure you try on clothes before buying them
to see if they actually fit you. Looking through magazines and window displays will give you an
idea as to what is in style and what is available. Avoid high fashion fads, concentrate on
conservative stylish clothes.
Doing your buying during sales is also not such a good idea, because these buys don’t
add up to much in the long run. If time is not the problem with you, go to the better department
stores and boutiques first, then shop in discount stores if you can find the equivalent merchandise
for less. Larger department stores offer a wider variety of selection. Department stores also may
accept returns while smaller ones and discount houses may not.

Dressing for a shopping trip – you may find that you get better treatment if you are
dressed than if you wear your blue jeans. Do consider, though, that you will be on your feet for a
long time, so wear comfortable shoes. Wear makeup. It will give you a better idea of how the
garment will actually look when you wear it for that particular occasion. You may need to bring
other articles of clothing to match with whatever you are buying: example, the color of the
blouse to match a particular skirt, unless you are quite sure of the shade of the article you have.
To avoid that aimless, drifting feeling when you shop in a store you are not familiar with,
try to study the layout of the store and shop for the basic items first. Ask salespersons should you
have questions, instead of going around in circles looking for departments. You may have to
determine the quality of the salesperson who is helping you. Do not blindly follow advices.
Never buy clothes under pressure if you can possibly avoid it.
SHOPPING TRAPS TO AVOID
1. Think twice before shopping with a friend. A friend is a distraction and may keep you
from focusing on what you came for.
2. A friend’s taste and aims may be different from yours.
3. A friend may choose clothes which he/she would choose for himself/herself, but not
appropriate for you.
4. Avoid shopping out of loneliness. Bake a cake or take up some sports instead.
Shopping for the wrong reasons brings out wrong results.
5. Don’t shop for bargains. Don’t judge a merchandise by its price tag.
LINES IN CLOTHES
The ideal look is the slim look. Your choice of clothes then should be aimed at achieving this
look. You should take stock of your good and bad points and select only those outfits whose
lines will do the most for you. An imperfect figure can be given an illusion of slimness by choice
of the proper clothes.
A line can be created by a row of buttons, lace, a seam, fancy stitches, etc. A line must
not emphasize a figure fault but draw the eye away from it.
The vertical line – The line which runs lengthwise from the head to toe is called vertical
line. It creates an illusion of height and makes a person look taller. It is ideal for the plump
person.
The horizontal line – A line cutting across from side to side is a horizontal line. It cuts
height and adds width. Contrasting colors in two-piece outfits create horizontal lines and
minimize height. The longer the unbroken area from the hem to the figure, the taller you look.
An example of this is found in the empire style or a bolero-style jacket. The tunic style or a waist
length jacket shortens a person much more.

COLOR: THE LINK IN THE TOTAL LOOK
The first principle in decorating yourself is understanding not only what colors are right for you,
but which shades and clarities of those colors you should wear.
Some attributes of colors are lightness, brightness, shades, and clarity. Light colors
transmit more light. Brightness is that attribute by which an area is judged to emit more or less
light. Brightness varies from invisible to dazzling.
There are advancing colors or warm colors that make an object appear larger. The
retreating colors make a person appear smaller and far away. The advancing colors are reds,
yellows, and oranges. The retreating ones are blues, greens, and violets.
As to shades of a color, examples of shades of red are brick red, fire red, and rose red.
Clarity refers to the clearness or purity of a color.
What makes color effective? Simply the way it looks on you, against your skin, your hair,
your eyes – in short your overall coloring.
YOUR COLOR SPECTRUM
The primary colors are red, blue and yellow. Secondary and
tertiary colors are combination of these. Red and blue make
violet; red and yellow, make orange; and blue and yellow
make green. (see color wheel)
Combinations of colors are:
1. Monochromatic – this color combination results in the

use of the same color, but different shades. An example COLOR WHEEL (HUE SCALE)
of this is brown, light brown, and beige.
2. Complementary – this results in the use of two colors, opposite each other in the color
wheel. Examples are red and green, blue and yellow, etc.
3. Analogous – this combination uses two colors beside each other in the color wheel.
Examples are blue and green, yello and orange, red and purple, etc.
4. Triadic – this combination is made up of three colors that form an equidistant triangle
on the color wheel. These are purple, green, and yellow; red, blue, and green, etc.
Your best colors are found in your body’s natural color scheme – your skin, hair, eyes, and lips.
The rest of your best colors complement, or go with, all your body colors and are equally
flattering to wear.
Examples:
1. BEIGE – Your best beige is the color of your skin.

2. BROWN – Your best brown is your hair color.
3. GRAY – If you have reached the gray-hair stage of life, your best gray is the color of
your gray hair. Avoid gray that looks muddy or dull when placed next to your skin.
4. WHITE OR OFF WHITE – Your best white should not be whiter or brighter than your
teeth. People with brown-beige skin look good in brownish off-whites. Almost everyone
should avoid grayish whites.
5. RED – Your best shade of red is your body’s natural blood color. It is the color you turn
when you blush or flush. You can see it in the palms of your hands, and the inside of your
lower lip.
6. BLUE – If blue is your eye color, match it. If it isn’t in your eyes, it is a complementary
color for you.
7. GREEN – Just like blue, the green of your eye color is your best green. The best green is
one with a clear tone or closest to a jade or emerald green. Yellow-greens are harder to
wear.
8. YELLOW – Most people have yellow in their eyes. The best yellow to use is one that is
not too bright for your coloring. The hardest to use are lemon yellow and mustard gold.
9. BLACK – Some look good in pure black. Others, the best shade would be a brown black
or blue black. If your hair is black, black will be a very effective color for you.
10. NAVY – Navys can be nautical blue, bright navy, or royal navy. Your best navy color is
determined by noting what it does to your skin tone. If it dulls it, avoid it.
THE MEANING OF COLOR
Red
Red is the color of fire and blood, so it is associated with energy, war, danger, strength,
power, determination as well as passion, desire and love. Red is very emotionally intense color.
It enhances human metabolism, increases respiration rate, and raises blood pressure. It has very
high visibility, which is why stop signs, stoplights, and fire equipment are usually painted red. In
heraldry, red is used to indicate courage. It is a color found in many national flags. Red brings
text and images to the foreground. Use it as an accent color to estimate people to make quick
decisions; it is a perfect color for “Buy Now” or “Click Here” buttons on Internet banners and
websites. In advertising, red is often used to evoke erotic feelings (red lips, red nails, red light
districts, “Lady in Red”, etc.). Red is widely used to indicate danger (high voltage signs, traffic
lights). This color is also commonly associated with energy, so you can use it when promoting
energy drinks, games, cars, items related to sports and high physical activity.
Light Red – represents joy, sexuality, passion, sensitivity and love.

Pink – signifies romance, love, and friendship. It denotes feminine qualities and
passiveness.
Dark Red – is associated with vigor, will-power, rage, anger, leadership, courage,
longing malice, and wrath.
Brown – suggests stability and denotes masculine qualities.

Reddish Brown – is associated with harvest and fall.

Orange
Orange combines the energy of red and the happiness of yellow. It is associated with joy,
sunshine, and the tropics. Orange, represents enthusiasm, fascination, happiness, creativity,
determination, attraction, success, encouragement, stimulation. To the human eye, orange is a
very hot color, so it gives the sensation of heat. Nevertheless, orange is not as aggressive as red.
Orange increases oxygen supply to the brain, produces invigorating effect, and stimulates mental
activity. It is highly accepted among young people. As a citrus color, orange is associated with
healthy food and stimulates appetite. Orange is the color of fall and harvest. In heraldry, orange
is symbolic of strength and endurance.
Orange has very high visibility, so you can use it to catch attention and highlight the most
important elements of your design. Orange is very effective for promoting food products and
toys.
Dark orange – can mean deceit and distrust

Red orange – corresponds to desire, sexual passion, pleasure, domination, aggression,
and thirst for action.
Gold – evokes the feeling of prestige. The meaning of gold is illumination, wisdom, and
wealth. Gold often symbolizes high quality.
Yellow
Yellow is the color of sunshine. It is associated with joy, happiness, intellect, and energy.
Yellow produces a warming effect, arouses cheerfulness, stimulates mental activity, and
generates muscle energy. Yellow is often associated with food. Bright pure yellow is an attention
getter, which is the reason taxicabs are painted this color. When overused, yellow may have a
disturbing effect, it is known that babies cry more in yellow rooms. Yellow is seen before other
colors when places against black; this combination is often used to issue a warning. In heraldry,
yellow indicates honor and loyalty. Later the meaning of yellow was connected with cowardice.
Use yellow to evoke pleasant, cheerful feelings. You can choose yellow to promote children’s
products and items related to leisure. Yellow is very effective for attracting attention, so use it to
highlight the most important elements of your design. Men usually perceive yellow as a very
lighthearted, ‘childish’ color, so it is not recommended to use yellow when selling prestigious,
expensive products to men – nobody will buy a yellow business suit or a yellow Mercedes.
Yellow is an unstable and spontaneous color, so avoid using yellow if you want to suggest
stability and safety. Light yellow tends to disappear into white, so it usually needs a dark color to
highlight it. Shades of yellow are visually unappealing because they lose cheerfulness and
become dull. Yellow represents caution, decay, sickness and jealousy.
Light yellow is associated with intellect, freshness and joy.
Green

Green is the color of nature. It symbolizes growth, harmony, freshness, and fertility.
Green has strong emotional correspondence with safety. Dark green is also commonly associated
with money. Green has great healing power. It is the most restful color for the human eye; it can
improve vision. Green suggests stability and endurance. Sometimes green denotes lack of
experience; for example, a ‘greenhorn’ is a novice. In heraldry, green indicates growth and hope.
Green, as opposed to red, means safety; it is the color of free passage in road traffic. Use green to
indicate safety when advertising drugs and medical products. Green is directly related to nature,
so you can use it to promote ‘green’ products. Dull, darker green is commonly associated with
money, the financial world, banking and Wall Street.
Dark green – is associated with ambition, green and jealousy.

Yellow green – can indicate sickness, cowardice, discord and jealousy.
Aqua – is associated with emotional healing and protection.
Olive green – is the traditional color of peace.
Blue
Blue is the color of the sky and sea. It is associated with depth and stability. It
symbolizes trust, loyalty, wisdom, confidence, intelligence, faith, truth, and heaven. Blue is
considered beneficial to the mind and body. It slows human metabolism and produces as calming
effect. Blue is strongly associated with tranquillity and calmness. Blue is used to symbolize piety
and sincerity. You can also use blue to promote products and services related to cleanliness
(water purification filters, cleaning liquids, and vodka) air and sky (airlines, airports, air
conditioners) water and sea (sea voyages, mineral water). As opposed to suggest precision when
promoting high-tech products. Blue is masculine color, according to studies, it is highly accepted
among males. Dark blue is associated with depth, expertise, and stability; it is preferred color for
corporate America. Avoid using blue when promoting food and cooking, because blue
suppresses appetite. When used together with warm colors like yellow or red, blue can create
high-impact, vibrant designs. For example, blue-yellow-red is a perfect for a superhero.
Light blue – is associated with health, healing, tranquillity, understanding, and softness.
Dark blue – represents knowledge, power, integrity and seriousness
Purple
Purple combines the stability of blue and the energy of red. Purple associated with
royalty. It symbolizes power, nobility, luxury, and ambition. It conveys wealth and
extravagance. Purple is associated with wisdom, dignity, independence, creativity, mystery and
magic.
According to surveys, almost 75 percent of pre-adolescent children prefer purple to all

other colors. Purple is a very rare color in nature; some people consider it to be artificial. Light

purple is a good choice for a feminine design. You can use bright purple when promoting
children’s products.
Light purple – evokes romantic and nostalgic feelings.
Dark purple – evokes gloom and sad feelings. It can cause frustration.
BASICS: SPEND A LITTLE OR A LOT
Investing wisely in clothes you will wear forever means understanding the difference between
everyday basics you can’t live without and those singular pieces that you fall in love with at first
sight and keep for years. Basics are all about fit and functionality – the well-cut suit that gets
you through endless workdays or a dressy evening skirt that always looks appropriate.
Depending on your needs you can choose to spend a little or a lot on these work clothes.
Your fashion Investment Worksheet
If you have a clear understanding of your figure strengths and your lifestyles, you will be able to
invest wisely in your wardrobe. We have put together a list of questions to ask yourself in order
to get a clearer understanding of your wardrobe needs. Read through the list below and consider
these points before your next shopping spree.
Know yourself – What items in your wardrobe have you had the most wear out of a
perfect black blazer? A pair of black pants that make you feel thin? The perfect skirt that you
can dress up or down?
How do you spend most of your time? Staying home? Working in the kitchen? Sitting
at a desk? Meeting with clients?
Do you take your clothes to the cleaners or do you wash and iron them yourself? Do you
have your clothes altered to fit you perfectly?
How often do you go out in the evening and where do you usually go? Pizza and movie?
A cocktail party with clients? Out all night at a club?
How much do you travel and where? Choose three adjectives to describe yourself. Do
they also describe what you wear?
Know your Resources – Where do you usually shop? At a mall? At a boutique in your
neighbourhood? From catalogues and magazines?
Who makes your favourite suit? Pair of pants? Jeans?
Know your body – What is your best physical asset? Long legs? Long neck? A dark or
white complexion? What can you wear that will put the focus where you want it? A short skirt?
An off-the shoulder top? A shirt in a gorgeous color?
What items of clothing always makes your body look its best? A well-cut suit? Have
you ever bought more than one item at a time?
Do you usually wear flats or heels? This will affect the proportion and shape of the pants
and skirts you wear.
Do you want to attract attention with your clothes or look quietly well-put together?
How much of your body do you usually reveal?
Know about the cost per wear – If price alone is making you flinch, apply the peso-per-
wear. If P100 a blazer might seem cheap, it may not be a bargain if you wear it only three times.
But a P500 blazer is good value if you wear it for three or more years.
Also ask yourself whether you can really afford a big purchase – how many hours of
work would it take to pay it off? If you spend more than 20 percent of your pay check on
clothes, you need to think twice.
Skirt – The cost of an evening skirt in satin or heavy silk will pay off if you regularly
attend big events. A designer version is usually lined; topstitching or details such as mother – of-
pearl buttons contribute to the perfect effect.
Pants – A great pair of black pants is a cornerstone of every hard-working wardrobe for
both men and women. Invest in a well-cut pair in a high-quality menswear gabardine or wool
crepe or find a cut that suits you from a less expensive brand and buy at least two pairs.
FACTORS AFFECTING CHOICE OF COLORS
A person should know how to use colors more effectively to enhance her personality.
Choice of color is not expensive, but it can add a lot to achieve that smart look.
Everybody can use the same colors or color combinations. In order to achieve this taste
for colors, one must observe discriminately and develop the taste for colors.
1. Color of skin, eyes, and hair – The Filipino,s “kayumanggi” complexion looks best
in shades of coral, orange-reds, browns, greenish blues. If you have a rosy
complexion, you will look well in shades of red and orange tones. Beige with
touches of brown is flattering for you.
2. Personality – Your personality is an important factor in the choice of colors. The
colors should make you feel right. A bright, red dress may disturb you if you are shy
and retiring. If you are a dynamic person, a delicate pastel may not look right on you.
3. Occasion – Office clothes should not be as bright as sports clothes. Evening clothes
should be more dramatic than daytime clothes. As a whole, office clothes should be
more conservative, more subdued than for social occasions.
SKIRTS – are a working woman’s chief means of multiplying her wardrobe. She should have at
least one straight style, with a split or pleat. A-line skirts are also basic and figure-flattering.
The softly gathered skirt is another easy style to wear and work with. Pleated styles, on the other
hand, generally require a taller, thinner figure to look most attractive. Two solid skirts, a third in
a plaid, and a fourth in a print in the styles mentioned earlier, offer the most possibilities for
combinations.
BLOUSES – The most popular blouse is the main-tailored blouse with sports collar and front
buttons. This is popularly called the “trubenized” shirt, only a few basic colors are needed to
have a variety of uses – beige, cream, and white. Blouses with pleats and tucks or shirring, add a
touch of softness and femininity to skirts. Use blouses to provide the second or third color to an
outfit: example, with a white or gray skirt, you can use a green or red blouse. For patterns, you
can have striped, plaid, or floral blouses to provide color and interest. Blouses can be long
sleeved or short sleeved.
SUITS – For junior executives to the executive level, suits are a must. The basic linen or light
wool suit is an invaluable fashion must for the working man/woman. It can go anywhere and can
be dressed up or down depending upon the occasion. Look for simple lines. A perfect fit and a
little detail The skirt should be either A-lined or moderately flared. A dress with a jacket could
be an attractive alternative to a suit. Accessories can keep your suit looking different each time.
BLAZERS – Blazers and jackets are very much a part of today’s look. The combination of
jacket’s style and fabric determines how dressy it is. You might start with a black or gray blazer,
pairing it with a slightly A-lined or slim skirt. The blazer can also be worn over some dresses.
DRESSES – A basic daytime dress should be chosen for versatility. The most common office
dress is the shirt-waist which looks like a “trubenized” man-tailored bodice with front buttons,
usually all the way down to the skirt. This is worn with a loosely fitting belt made of the same
material. The sheath style dress has no waist, but it also tied loosely with a belt to give it that
casual look. Traditional fabrics are jerseys, lightweight wool crepe, cotton, gabardine, rayon, or
silk. The best all-around shades are rose, peach, mocha, cream and tan.
You should have at least one dress in a solid color, preferably in a neutral shade and
lightweight fabric. Avoid printed dresses for the office, because they are easily recognized and
dated.
Long or three-quarters sleeves give a dressier appearance, having your dress and suit of
the same color and texture, allows you to interchange the same accessories. A street-length, just
above-the-knee or on-the-knee, is most practical.
EVENING WEAR – This falls into three categories: formal, informal and leisure. Formal is
usually a long evening dress. This should be as simple and elegant if it is meant to be worn for
many occasions. Informal could be a two-piece outfit like a long skirt or wide-leg pants, blouses,
scarves, and probably velvet blazers. Dresses should be of soft fabrics, like quiana, jersey, or
chiffon.
Assessment
Answer the following questions
1. Explain and give an example; gaudy dressing or something of good materials embellished
with elegance.
2. What transforms a mere garment into a work of art?
3. Choose between sporty, tailored, romantic or sophisticated. Bring pictures of each
example.
4. What questions should you ask yourself while “taking stock of yourself”.
5. Describe what “first impression” means.
6. What factors make people decide that first impression? Name some.
7. How would you assemble a basic wardrobe?
8. To achieve true style, your clothes and accessories should complement and compliment
each other. Explain.
9. Shopping traps to avoid.
10. From magazines, choose best style for your work.
Content 10 points


Estancia, Iloilo
Module 4
Men’s Fashion
Introduction
In this module men would be able to dress properly at all times, how fashion style affects
men’s success.
If women can mix and match their clothes, men too can wear variations with just about
three sets of clothes. “Powerful men” have “signature looks” – their own individual style.
When you are dressing, be sure that you consider the whole look – shirt, tie, pants, and
shoes. They should all look well together. Style is having a professional overall effect.
For the office, the most common attire is a polo barong or barong shirt for formal
meetings. Polo shirts with sports collar is acceptable for clerks and messengers. For evening
wear, the most acceptable dress for men is the barong in jusi or the suit or “coat and tie,” and of
course the tuxedo in the most formal occasions.
Learning outcomes: upon completion of this module men shall be able to

1. Develop style and dress properly at all times.
2. Identify the part of man’s wardrobe and choose the proper style of each piece of man’s
wardrobe.
3. Choose, buy each piece of clothing correctly, and identify proper accessories.
4. Dress up or down and identify formal and informal wear.
Discussion
STYLES BEST FOR SUCCESS
In this age of hiring and promoting, some managers are making decisions on people in the first
seconds of a meeting. This decision can just as commonly be made at a brief encounter at a
cocktail party. Sometimes it only takes one item out of place to be seriously questioned as to
whether you can dress well. “When you dress appropriately, people know that you know the
rules. Dressing well earns people’s respect more than you realize. Management responds by
assuming that if he does not dress well, he may not be able to adapt to other aspects of a job.
Maybe one of the reasons is that he does not look the part and does not make an effort to change
that.
Notice how your boss or department head is wearing and try to see if he is well-respected
in how he dresses. Position yourself. You may dress like your boss but if he is going nowhere
one of the reasons maybe is that he does not look the part.
SUIT
To recognize a well-made suit, there is more involved than the price tag.
1. Fabric – The first impression is the suit’s quality. High quality fabrics feel smooth,
look right, well-defined and natural. In tropical countries, like ours light worsted is
preferred to heavy wool. The trend today is polyester blend materials which is light
for our weather.
2. Lining made of rayon is necessary on the chest, back and sleeves.
3. Pockets should be smooth – no wrinkles
4. Pants should have buttons to allow wearing of suspenders
5. Buttons should be made from leather, mother-of-pearl, brass or ceramic.
When you go shopping for a suit, you should wear the shirt, undershirt, underwear,
cufflinks, tie, shoes, belt and wallet. Bring everything else that you routinely bring
with you in your pocket.
Check the following:
1. Coat length – the bottom of the coat should be long enough to cover the seat of your
pants. The top button should sit just below your waist.

2. Sleeves – the shirt’s sleeve cuffs ending at your wrist bone but extend from your
jacket sleeve by about ½ inch. This is important if you are wearing cuff links.
3. Collar – the back of the coat collar should rest about ½ inch below the back of the
shirt collar.
4. Lapels – should not extend no more than halfway to the shoulder.
5. Shoulders – padding on the shoulders go in and out of style so just stay where it is
comfortable for your size and shape
6. Armholes – be sure they are cut high enough
THROUSERS/PANTS
1. Waist – Your trousers/pants should be secured at the waist or just below the navel.
2. There should be ample room at the crotch. You should be comfortable, not pulling or
tagging at the seat and thighs.
3. Length – They should be long enough so that the crease is about 4 inches above the
top of the shoes and ½ inch above the shoe’s heel.
Caring for Your Suit (Jacket and Pants)
1. Do not wear your suit on 2 consecutive days. Let it rest.

2. Brush – give it a quick brushing to take out the lint and dust.
3. Hang properly – Before hanging, empty the pockets and fasten buttons. Hang the pants
upside down by the cuffs to prevent creases.
4. Avoid dry cleaning often. Wash by hand and stem cleaned every 10 usage.
DRESS SHIRT
A shirt with a crisp well-shaped collar and cuffs and material that does not wrinkle shows the
world that your good taste does not end with your suit. When buying a shirt, pay special attention
to the two most noticed features – the shape and size of the collar and the quality of the material.
A good cotton is the best but because it wrinkles, a polyester blend is good. The collar’s shape is
more important. The cuff is also important because it shows from the jacket’s sleeve. It also
should flatter the shape of your face. Keep your collar points 3 inches long and the width of the
spread from being too narrow or too wide.
The points of the spread collar suggests a bit wider apart than those of the straight collar
therefore is considered dressier.

Striped and patterned shirts are considered more casual, but they are still considered for business.
Other solid colors as blue or those with pin stripes are about as dressy. For a 5-day workweek, 5-
10 shirts are advisable and should provide you with extra shirts to compensate for mishaps, such
as stains.
Shirts are usually folded, pinned and wrapped in plastic, they hard to re-package. Collar
sizes run by half-inch, ex. 14, 141/2. Sleeve length run from 30-32. Buying a shirt goes; 14-
32/33. It is better to select sleeves of a longer size because shirts shrink after 3 washes. They are
also small, medium, large and extra large. Sleeve length should be measured from the center of
the back of your collar, to one inch below your wrist bone. The sleeve should be long enough to
allow for movement and cuff snug enough to keep it at the wrist. The shirt-tail hem should reach
to your crotch it may pull free from your pants when you sit or bend over.
THE NECKTIE
The necktie is like the first violin in an orchestra: it occupies center stage, and when a mistake is
made, it is noticed. So select your ties with care.
Keep in mind that the necktie is the only article of men’s clothing meant solely for
ornamentation. It allows you to express your personality through indulgence in sumptuous hues
and designs in an otherwise staid business wardrobe. So, enjoy the varieties of colors, fabrics,
textures and patterns. Wear the tie as it meant to be worn: as a sort of personal signature.
It is unfortunate that many men don’t see ties this way. They consider the necktie a symbol, like
the gray flannel suit, of stultifying conformity. However, ties offer almost unlimited freedom for
self-expression. In fact, there is a tie to match the subtlest nuance of one’s mood. Feeling dapper
and gentlemanly? Don an elegant, navy-blue woven silk tie graced with small white polka dots.
Sporty? Knot up that one with the scrappy terriers racing across it. The trick is to make certain
that your tie’s “statement” not only reflects your taste, but is also appropriate for the office, the
wedding, or whatever the occasion. Classic ties, with their unfailing elegance and many styles,
admirably serve both the requirements of social customs and the individual’s desire for self-
expression.
What’s Best to Know about Buying a Tie
Your tie should not only strike your fancy but should also be appropriate for the occasion
at which you will be wearing it. Your tie should coordinate well with our suits and jackets,
therefore it should consider how the tie’s color, design, fabric and would complement the tie
with anything in your closet, because it may not match wiith any of your suits.
Patterns of ties
1. Club – a tie repeating patterns of clubs is served to identify

membership in certain clubs
CLUB

2. Paisley – a tie with curved teardrops. In 1930, paisley pattern was first
used to decorate ties. Large paisley patterns are used for casual wear.
PAISLEY
3. Plaid – of crossing at right angles. This is also for casual

wear.
PLAID
4. Dots – small dots known as pin dots are considered among the
more casual patterns.
DOTS
5. The tie for formal wear has no patterns. It is plain of a color that matches your outfit.
SOLID FOULARD GEOMETRIC STRIPED
How to Tie a knot

Bow Ties
Bow ties come in as many patterns and fabrics as the regular ties, but there are only three
classic shapes for bow ties. They are more popularly used in the evening and can be bought
ready-made. Just clip it on.
 Butterfly:
The butterfly has ends that flair as they extend outward to straight edges. The
most common shape of bow tie, the butterfly appeared in the early years of
this century as a wider version of the traditional bow tie. In the days when
more rigid rules of dress dictated a man’s attire, four-in-hand were considered
proper formal daywear.
 Bat’s Wing:
The bat’s wing is narrower than the butterfly. Its edges are pointed.
 Straight (or Thistle):
A tie that, as its name suggests extends straight outward. The narrowest
bow tie and the least common style of the three. Edges are usually
straight, but they can be pointed.
BELTS OR SUSPENDERS
Note here the operative word is or: never wear both a belt and suspenders at the same time.
There’s no need to. It’s redundant.
Some History: Early in this century, dressy trousers rarely had belt loops. Belts were
worn by blue-collar workers while suspenders were worn with business and formal attire.
However, few considered an undergarment to be kept concealed beneath the ubiquitous vest.
After World War I, belts gained in popularity and through the decades increasingly
replaced suspenders. In the 1980’s suspenders became fashionable again especially on Wall
Street, and the fashion spread through the United States. They have remained widely worn.
Today, Americans’ collective memories no longer associate belts with laborers. And we
no longer consider suspenders as undergarments meant to be hidden – indeed they are considered
a dressy touch.

A belt is as appropriate as suspenders for wearing with a suit or sport jacket, although
suspenders remain the only choice for black tie or white tie. Aside from the advice that you
should not wear belts and suspenders together, there are only two additional aesthetic points to
keep in mind: first, don’t wear a belt if you wear a vest: a belt creates a bulge, and a buckle ruins
the look of simplicity of a vest and trousers. Second, you should wear a tie if you wear
suspenders because a four-in-hand provides aesthetics balance by adding to the vertical
suspender lines, and helps creates the dressier look that suspenders have come to convey. A bow
tie also spiffs up a man’s appearance when he wears suspenders.
As for which is preferable – a belt or suspenders – it is a solely a matter of
personal taste. Both belts and suspenders have benefits and drawbacks. Suspenders advocates
praise these shoulder straps for allowing trousers to drape at their most flattering; holding
trousers in place that waist from above, so they don’t slip to the hip; permitting your waistband
to expand when you sit, unlike belts; and preventing the waistband fabric from bunching.
CUFF LINKS
When should a man wear cuff links?
Since the 19th century, when cuff links became widely used, they have commonly worn with
business suits and with formal attire. However, with fashion trending more casual, some fashion
experts suggest that cuff links may be appropriately worn with a sport jacket and even without a
tie.
Cuff links were traditionally connected by a small chain (today, called chain links), and
were usually made of black onyx, a stone that remains a popular choice for daywear. Other
standard cuff links are those made of gold, silver, enamel or mother-of-pearl.
You still must wear cuff links when you wear a tuxedo, and you should wear them with
matching shirt studs. Black onyx cuff links are appropriate for formal wear and for business
attire. Other stones, such as emeralds, also can be tastefully worn with black tie attire, although
they may be a bit flashy for business wear. Mother-of-pearl cuff links are the most appropriate
for white tie.
What are the classic cuff links?
Although there are no “classic” patterns or images, there are few classic shapes of cuff
links. Double-faced cuff links (links with two identical faces) are perhaps the most elegant. They
and pushthroughs (links with bulbous ends) are preferable to non-matched links, known as
hinged-back (links with a bar on the inside), because the bar, rather than the decorative face, is
seen on the inside of your cuff. Silk knots are acceptable, but they aren’t quite as dressy as cuff
links made of metals or stones. There are also cuff links that snap together, which date back to
the first decades of the century.
Pushtrough Silk Knots Hinged Backed Doubled-faced Snap-on Chain
SHOE BASICS
1. There are two basic shoe styles that are appropriate for work:
2. The laces – these are for more formal wear.
3. The more common ones for work are the loafers (moccasins) or the ones that look like
driving shoes, but are of leather or leatherette.
4. Sandals or flip-flops are not worn at work
5. Slippers are definitely out.
MEN’S ACCESSORIES
OVAL FACE TRIANGULAR FACE ROUND FACE

Long, lean faces If you have a broad Full cheeks and a
need frames that forehead and a narrow chin, curved jaw line call for
accentuate width. choose glasses that mimic frames with a
Forget delicate, your bone structure and contrasting angular
John Lennon-style help to accentuate the eyes. shape. In order to
glasses and opt for A pair of aviators would create a sense of
heavy plastic wrap – work well. And consider the balance, make sure
around and frames lenses: bold tints won’t/don’t the corners are slightly
with oversize work with glasses like this, rounded, not sharp.
lenses. so consider gradient lenses.

1. Eyeglasses or sunglasses. Remember to keep it simple
2. Belts – A slim black belt with simple buckles are all you need for work.
3. You may have brown braided or woven leather.
4. Cloth belts are worn with khakis.
5. Watches – metal ones for work and leather strapped ones for evening.
6. Cuff links are used for more formal barongs or shirts. There are different ones in
department stores, choose simple ones.
7. Bags, necklaces and earrings are not for work. A briefcase is necessary to hold papers.
The different types are the leather or canvas carryall, work bags that are sturdier (for
executives) and a weekend bag.
8. Backpacks are now vogue and the rolling bag for traveling.
9. Wallets are the billfold wallets and the traveling wallets to hold passports and tickets, are
available in department stores.
Assessment
1. Why is it important to dress appropriately using good taste?
2. Name some rules in buying a suit.
3. Name some rules in buying a dress shirt.
4. Name some patterns of ties; what is best for a formal occasion.
Content 10 points


Estancia, Iloilo
Module 5
Accessories
Introduction
In this module you would be able to enhance your personality with accessories.

1. Define accessories.
2. Enumerate rules and give the laws of proportion for and in the use of accessories.
3. Give the historical background of jewelry.
4. Identify the difference between perfume and cologne.
Discussion
ACCESSORIES
The addition of accents, known as accessorizing is, first of all, a way to make an outfit yours,
even if the clothes themselves came off a rack of similar or identical items. The careful, creative
use of accessories is a young man/woman’s first venture into dressing as an art. There are some
very practical advantages to accessorizing. You can change a classic dress or suit from work,
school, or street use to a dinner or party look just by substituting elegant earrings, necklaces,
belts, lace collars, or flowers. This is a wonderful resource for the traveller, the weekend
houseguest, or the school or working woman who must move from classroom or office directly
to dinner date.
Accessory switching is also useful in making clothes look different. Black patent or kid
pumps and bag, dark jewelry and belt or bow, provide a crisp look no matter what the weather is.
An accessory is almost anything you wear except the basic clothes – shoes, hats, gloves, belts,
scarves, bows, and of course, jewelry (costume or real) – and all accessories should be chosen in
relation to your size. If you are small or short, choose scaled-down items that will not appear to
be wearing you, and take satisfaction in the knowledge that exquisite and dainty can be
memorable. If you are tall or have a larger frame, you can handle big and dramatic pieces
magnificently. Keep your accessories in good taste and the best condition. Scuffled shoes,
chipped jewelry, crushed bows, and spotted scarves can spoil a total effect.
RULES FOR ACCESSORIES
 Moderation is the key. Never over-decorate your body.

 Your accessories should be appropriate to the occasion, your age, and to the company in
which they are worn. Earrings in the shape of balloons, for instance, which are fun for a
group of your own friends, might be quite inappropriate when accompanying your
parents or business associates to a gathering.
 Be certain that you do not rattle when you move because of an arm loaded with too many
bracelets or a neck or a chest armored with beads and trinkets.
 Day and night call for different accessories. So do city and country occasions. If you are
in doubt about what is right, keep “add-ons” to a minimum.
 Avoid ostentation, especially the wearing of expensive jewelry in groups where others do
not have or do not wear it. Young women should not wear costly pieces in public as a
safety, as well as a taste, consideration. Even mature women today usually wear costume
or imitation jewelry except for very special occasions and keep the real items in the safe
deposit box.
 After you have it all together, take a final glance in the mirror. If you have doubts, take
something off.
LAWS OF PROPORTION
The Laws of Proportion – those fashion rules that camouflage the poor lines of your
figure and accentuate the good.
1. An unbroken line appears longer.

Contrasting colors, two-piece dresses, skirts and blouses, belts, horizontal stripes,
large bands of color, or any horizontal line make you appear shorter and add breadth
to your figure.
2. Height gives the illusion of slenderness
Dress for height, breaking the vertical line only if your figure and height are correctly
proportioned.

3. Light colors add weight
Whites and pastels will give the visual illusion of adding pounds to your body. Make
it a point to place them only where this addition is needed.
4. Dark colors diminishes weight
From the color palette place those colors in the dark to darkest range on areas of your
body that require visual reduction of weight.
5. Light-reflective and shiny fabrics add weight
Satin, sequins, brocades or metallic materials visually add pounds to your body. Place
them only where this addition is needed or as a very small fashion touches.
6. Bulky or heavy fabrics add weight
Angoras, tweeds, heavy knits, corduroy, or nubby fabrics add bulk and pounds to
your figure.
7. Large patterns add weight
Large plaids, checks, florals, and geometrics each add the illusion of weight to the
body. Large pastel or light-colored patterns add even more weight.
8. Small patterns diminish weight
Small plaids, checks, florals, and geometrics each give the illusion of weight. Small
dark patterns visually diminish the weight of your body even further.
9. Transparent or clinging fabrics reveal figure faults and pefections
Knitted fabrics, jerseys, laces, and chiffons should be placed on parts of your body
that you want to emphasize rather than on problem areas.
10. Scaled-to-size accessories are the secret to balance
Small accessories should be assigned to the small and/or short figure. Large
accessories should be assigned to the larger and/or tall figure.
11. Every detail and every accessory must be coordinated with every other detail and
accessory of the total ensemble
This rule applies from head to toe, and from the front, sides, and back of your figure
12. Dramatize your good points
Select clothing to “show off” your assets
13. Do not dramatize a weak point by dramatizing a good one
Should a good point, when dramatized, accentuate or call attention to a weak point in
return, the good has been undone by the bad!
How to shop for accessories – go by the following rules:
1. Before you leave the house, make sure you know what items you need.
2. Preshop to determine cost and styles available.
3. Decide on the size, shape, and color of the accessories before buying them.
4. Figure out a budget.
5. Confine yourself to quality items that will weather changes in fashion.
6. Examine the item before buying it.
7. Do not be talked into buying something you do not need.
Accessories includes jewels, scarves, belts, eyeglasses, shoes, hosiery or stockings, handbags,
attaché cases, luggage, umbrellas, hats, and gloves.
Belts – are made of leather, plastic, elastic, metallic chains, wooden chains, and straw.
They range from size 22-32 inches. Others are adjustable to fit all sizes. The width can be narrow
or wide. Wide belts are not for short persons.
Shoes – are one of the most necessary and most expensive accessory items. They should
be purchased for quality and not quantity. No longer is it fashionable to have a different-colored
pair for all attires. The person with a limited budget can just have two colors – black and brown.
Avoid spikey heels, wooden clogs, ankle straps and the like for the office. The most appropriate
style is the closed pumps style.
Poorly fitted shoes are uncomfortable and unhealthy. It has been suggested by foot
doctors that the same pair of shoes should be used for two consecutive days, especially when
breaking-in a new pair.
Hosiery or Stockings are a must for the lady executive. They come in pantyhose, thigh
high, knee high, or ankle socks. It is good practice to always bring an spare pair in case one gets
a run in them.
Shades of hosiery are nude, beige, tan, black, gray, and of course, there are the light
colored shades of parties. Avoid black stockings and opaque stockings to work. If you have large
legs, use a darker shade than if you had thin legs.
Handbags – building a bag wardrobe starts with these essentials; an everyday tote, a
shoulder bag, a structured handbag, a casual fun bag, and an evening basic. These staples allow
you to go from work to weekend to a night on the town in style. Either way, there’s always room
to grow.
Handbags should match the color of your shoes, more or less. If you are wearing black
shoes, use black bag and if brown shoes, use brown bag. Types of bags are box, clutch, pouch
with drawstring, shoulder bag, and tote. Shoulder bag is the most popular. It should not hit below
the waist in the hip area. The tote bag is most popular for traveling.
Casual – this is your downtime bag and a way to show off your whimsical side. Play
with color and fabrics like cotton suede and plastic.

Structured – For the lady in all of us. A little more formal than a shoulder bag. This
compact purse holds its own with classic suits or casual denim.
Evening – A necessity for formal occasions. A simple evening bag should be small and
usually neutral in color to work seamlessly between pastels and black.
Shoulder – The best all-around bag and probably the most useful one in your closet.
Most shoulder bags are both work and weekend friendly.
Tote – To keep all your files in order. This indispensable work-day classic holds things
neatly in place.
Umbrella are necessary especially when it’s raining. The better kinds have 10 or more
spakes. A solid color umbrella is the best. Umbrellas are made of nylon, acetate, rayon, and
water repellent fabrics.
An attaché case for business is a symbol of authority and is very practical when a bundle
of business documents have to be brought from one place to another. Select a purse that can fit
into the attaché case. Attaché cases are made of leather, suede and plastic. The size should not be
too large for your body.
THE JEWEL BOX
As aesthetic senses are refined and your horizons widen, your appreciation of beauty will extend
beyond your vision of yourself and include the natural wonders of the world around you. Perhaps
you have always known instinctively the difference between real and imitation jewelry, and even
as a child you prized the birthstone ring your grandparents gave you more than the plastic one
you found in a cereal box. There is nothing wrong with costume jewelry, but you are now at an
age to start appreciating authenticity.
As you reach maturity to love beautiful and valuable things and to assume the
responsibility of caring for them, take a fresh look at the pieces of your parents or other relatives
have given you since birth: add a pearl of necklace, charm bracelets, dainty gold chains, class,
and other rings – all are an ideal beginning. Appropriate pieces from your mother’s girlhood
make wonderful additions too. Treasure these things, which have sentimental as well as intrinsic
value. Later will come the more expensive jewels to mark highlights of your life – engagement,
marriage, the birth of children, anniversaries, professional achievements. They will be yours to
wear, to appreciate, to enjoy. But remember, displaying jewelry for ostentatious, show-off
purposes cheapens both the articles and the wearer. Some women seem to have a talent for
wearing gorgeous and expensive jewels without flaunting them, allowing a single piece to shine,
never overdoing it. Certainly this is a talent well worth cultivating.

HISTORICAL BACKGROUND OF JEWELRY
Jewelry was once ceremonial, serious, conspicuous, and only for the high and mighty. From the
dawn of history people have always loved, even worshipped, rare and colourful stones and fine
metals. Possessor of such treasures have been murdered and wars have been fought for them. For
a long time only elite members of society could wear jewels. In France, a law was established in
1283 forbidding anyone but the nobility to wear precious stones and pearls. In England, King
Edward II decreed that only certain classes could wear specific ornaments – craftsmen and
yeomen were forbidden gold and silver and only nobles and merchants of stated income could
own precious stones.
Although such laws were mainly a means of establishing class distinction, the rulers also
feared the poor would sink into hopeless debt if they were allowed to acquire such expensive
items. In France, as late as 1720, the regent forbade the wearing of pearls, diamonds, and other
gems by the common people.
In our society today, such laws are unthinkable, and beautiful pieces are widely
affordable. Jewelry has, moreover, become an art form and an expression not only of the
wearer’s taste but her moods – it plays a significant role in image creation. For this reason, a
young woman should be quite careful in the selection and wearing of jewelry, avoiding the
faddish and seeking out the timeless.
THE METALS
The distinguishing feature of fine jewelry as opposed to costume jewelry is that it is fashioned of
quality metals and that any stones used are genuine – natural creations of nature. Platinum, gold,
and silver are the metals used almost exclusively by jewellers because of their beauty,
malleability, rarity, and resultant value.
Platinum – the rarest of these metals, platinum is silvery blond, very pale. It is usually
alloyed with ten percent iridium to increase its hardness and is considered by many to be the
most effective enhancer of colored gems and diamonds. Because it has commercial and dental
use and is never in large supply, it is expensive. Platinum is more often the choice of older rather
than younger wearers.
Gold – the gleaming aura of gold, together with other qualities, has made it the most
prized of metals and the most suitable as a foil for gems. It its natural state, gold is extremely
soft, not durable enough for use in jewelry. Therefore, it is combined with appropriate alloys to
give it strength and serviceability. The proportion of the gold content in any metalwork is
measured in karats, with 14k being the minimum acceptable in fine jewelry. At 18k, the

percentage of gold in a piece is three-fourths of its total weight, while 24k is considered fine
gold.
Silver – found in more generous quantities than either platinum or gold, silver has many
industrial, electrical, and medical uses in addition to its role as materials for the fashioning of
fine tableware, art objects, and jewelry. Although it is lustrous, beautiful, and malleable, silver
has one disadvantage not shared by other metals. At normal temperatures, it unites with sulphur
and forms sulphide (tarnish), making regular polishing necessary. Silver is less expensive than
platinum or gold and makes a splendid foil for colourful gems. It always has value as a contrast
for gold pieces and achieves additional status in seasons when certain colors dominate the
fashion picture.
Watch – Often, the first piece of adult jewelry in a lifetime collection is a jewelled
watch. A handsome timepiece is among the most appropriate of gifts for a young man or woman
stepping into a time when her responsibilities, career, and social commitments demand precision.
Graduation, social debut, and sixteenth, or twenty-first birthdays are among the traditional
occasions for such a present.
The attractive and inexpensive electronic watches now available are good for sports,
work, classes, and other informal activities, but for dress occasions a fine watch (or none at all) is
in order. If you can, have two watches, one more delicate and dressy for night and the other more
sporty for day. If wearing a watch in public, do not look at it too often and never wind or shake it
during a gala evening.
“Jeweled” watches were introduced in the mid-eighteenth century to improve

performance: Ruby chips were put in the spoked wheel of the working so the axis’s top and
bottom turned against the jewels and lasted longer. Hence, the term “jewelled” watch.
The Pearl – When society dressed up, the occasion is illuminated by the glow of pearls.
Pearls are elegant, understated, and formal. Pearls are versatile, suitable for all formal gatherings,
day or night, which makes them a “must” for a beginning or limited jewelry wardrobe. Today,
moreover, they are comparatively reasonable in price, thanks to experimentation in Japan during
the latter oart of the last century, which led to the “farming” of oysters for pearls.
Prior to that, pearls were, like diamonds, rubies, and emeralds, a gift of nature –
inimitable, unique, created through a chance occurrence. When a foreign object gets inside an
oyster shell, the creature’s reaction is to coat it with the crystalline substance called nacre, which
lines its shell, and the result is a beautiful natural pearl. This is also the most valuable type of
pearl, worth thirty times the value of “Cultured” pearls.

THE PEARL NECKLACE
Styles
A wide choker, usually of multiple strands with a jewelled clasp often

Dog Collar
worn in front
A 12- to 14-inch-long necklace fitted and shaped gently to the lower
Collar
portion of the neck.
A necklace with more than three strands of different lengths, which fits
Bib close to the base of the neck and extends over the upper part of the chest
much a child’s bib.
Choker A 15- to 16-inch-long necklace that drops just above the collarbone.
An 18- to 20-inch-long strand of pearls that falls midway between the
Princess
collarbone and the bust.
Matinee A 20- to 24-inch-long strand of pearls that reaches the center of the bust.
A 30- to 32-inch-long strand of pearls that falls midway between the
Opera bust and waist. May be wrapped around the neck twice to form a
double-stranded choker.
A 45-inch or longer pearl necklace. May be knotted or wrapped several
Rope
times. Also referred to as a “sautoir” or a lariat.
Terminology
A pearl necklace that is strung with the smaller pearls placed on either
Graduated
side of the clasp graduating to the largest pearls in the center.
A pearl necklace that is strung with all one size or nearly equal-sized
Uniform
pearls throughout.
A term used to denote that the string running through the pearls has been
tied in a tiny knot between each pearl and before the clasp. An important
Knotted
step for safety should the string break, this technique also helps the
necklace to hang gracefully.

The Japanese efforts led to the artificial implantation of
“seeds” into oysters. The shellfish are then retuned
“beds”, and the pearls can be harvested in three or four
years. This process enormously increased the supply of
available pearls and served to keep the price down
despite an increased demand. Even an expert has
difficulty distinguishing a farmed, “cultured” pearl
from natural specimens – either the saltwater variety or
the natural freshwater type. In the Philippines, too,
“farm” pearls are called “South Sea Pearls”. Princess Pearl Necklace
Pearls are assessed according to color, luster,
roundness, and thickness of the nacre. Some people prefer irregularly shaped pearls (barouque),
but the most perfectly round, finely lustered are the most prized.
Pearls come in a vast array of colors, tones, sizes, and shapes; and their settings –
necklaces, earrings, bracelets, pins – are almost limitless. For the first pearl necklace a young
woman receives, I suggest a princess-length strand (5 to 7 mm in size depending on her height
and frame) and the gems should be all the same sie, not graduated. The princess length can be
combined beautifully with a later gift or purchase of a matinee length composed of the same or a
larger-size pearl, again, not graduated. Later, an opera-length string can be added. The pearl rope
is the perfect finale to a gem trousseau. Choker is not flattering to many faces as it creates a
horizontal line.
Pearl Care – Remember that pearls are produced by living things – they are not minerals
like most gems. They need air and also warmth, and therefore become more beautiful with wear.
But they are also sensitive and tender and damage by perspiration – remove them during sporting
activities. If you have very oily skin, that oil penetrates the “skin” of the pearls and dims their
glow. Thus, it is necessary to have pearls cleaned at regular intervals by a professional, unless
you learn and can carry out the special care yourself. They should be wiped with a damp cloth or
washed gently with a mild soap and rinse well, then dried and left out overnight on a dry towel.
Avoid spraying hairspray and perfume directly on them, and store in a separate, velvet-lined box
to prevent scratching by gold pieces or other, sharper stones. Never store pearls in plastic bags,
as they need air.
THE GEMSTONES
Certain stones – sapphire, ruby, emerald and diamond – are classified “precious” and are used in
the finest jewelry. The opal, garnet, aquamarine, topaz, turquoise, lapis, amethyst, and jade are
considered “semi-precious.” The somewhat arbitrary differentiation was made by German

mineralogist K.E. Kluge in 1860, based on the stones’ relative hardness. He allowed only the
ruby, emerald, and sapphire into the “precious” category with the diamond although none of
them approaches the hardness of the diamond. Important gemstone pieces today command prices
in the thousands of dollars, and smaller, less perfect stones have a ready market for fashion
jewelry.
CARE FOR JEWELRY
Because jewels are valuable, personally meaningful, and small, they require special, constant
care. They should never be left thoughtlessly in dressing rooms, hotel rooms, or at home,
especially in bathrooms and kitchens, which are the scenes of many down-the-drain tragedies.
Jewelry should, instead, be safely stored – in separate, lined containers for important pieces so
that they will not scratch or otherwise damage each other. Plastic bags are not recommended.
Regular maintenance is necessary. Professional cleaning and checking for the security of
the stones’ settings should be done at least once a year. Silver jewelry should be cleaned like flat
tableware with silver polish. Electronic cleaning works wonder on gold. Do not flaunt costly
jewelry in public, both for your own safety and for the safety of your treasures. Take care of
pieces you own and take care also to wear them only at appropriate times and with appropriate
clothing.
PERFUMES AND COLOGNES
Until now we have been concerned with your “look”, creating a lovely picture that will not only
bring pleasure to others but give you confidence as well. Now we turn to something you wear
that will never be seen by anyone, but is a beautiful and important aspect of “finishing” your
unique self – an enveloping, delicious scent.
As a maturing young woman, you probably have realized already that using fragrance
involves more than soaking yourself with the atomizer on your dressing table. Perfume is a
glorious, but complicated, form of self-expression, for which selection and restraint are as
essential as they are in the choice of garments. It is no more appropriate to wear a heavy, sensual
perfume with your tennis outfit than it would be to wear riding boots with an evening gown. And
since the interaction of body chemistry and perfume compounds is unpredictable and highly
individual, knowledge, forethought, and discrimination are necessary.
The very first thing to understand is that perfume is not to be used as a cover-up. The
delicate combinations can release their message only in an environment of cleanliness and health
– despite the fact that the development of perfumery was probably an attempt to compensate for
the absence of plumbing and accompanying lack of personal hygiene in pre-modern times.
Scented and special balms and liquid extracts have been used by the nobility from
antiquity, but perfumery as an industry did not come into being until the Middle Ages. By 1190,
France was established as the center for the creation of wonderful fragrances, which were used
extravagantly in the increasingly lavish courts of Europe.
Today, enjoyment of adequate, often luxurious, bathing facilities throughout the Western
world has changed the role of perfume from cover-up to subtle enhancer. Sophisticated women
go to great trouble and no small expenses to discover a scent or scents that complement not only
their body chemistry but their personalities and lifestyles as well.
THE BASIC PERFUME CLASSES
Single Floral
This captures the scent of a single flower such as a rose, carnation, violet, or lilac and has a
dominant floral note. It is easy to wear and recognize. For the one who has a favourite flower it
is easy to choose. The white and light-colored flowers make the most perfumy scents.
Floral Bouquet
A fragrance composition based on a combination of floral scents. The major components of this
family are rose, jasmine, gardenia, carnation, as well as such favourite as lily of the valley and
lilac. The blend intricate, with the flowers given balance and body by a combination of bases like
ambergris, musk, and vetiver.
Spicy
This word in perfume language means fragrances with strong (“pungent”) scents from several
sources. Spicy scents are made of actual spices like vanilla, cinnamon, cloves, ginger, and
cardamom, and flowers that possess traces of spicy scents such as carnation and lavender. Spicy
scents are both haunting and lingering.
Citrus
The oils of lemon, bergamot, lime, tangerine, and bitter orange blossom are known for their
refreshingly tangy accent.
Beginning with this century, an array of glamour perfumes appeared as a part of the developing
fashion industry. In 1921, designer Coco Chanel presented her incomparable Chanel No. 5, and
became the first designer to offer an image level in France. Others followed but it was not until
1969 that an American, Norman Norell, came out with a designer-label fragrance, simply called
Norell. Now most of the leading fashion trendsetters have their own perfume lines.

DISCOVERING YOUR FRAGRANCE
For decades, women chose their personal fragrances on the basis of label. Although there is
something exciting about wearing a signature scent, that is not the prime consideration today.
Women no longer wear perfume for the symbol alone. They choose first to please themselves, to
complete their own personal image. So much the better if it is individual and original.
Yet one does not ignore the classics. It is lovely to be able to recognize a scent as it wafts
into a room. Classics endure because they convey an image. They are elegant and make one feel
richly good about oneself. So as you begin trying perfumes, you will want to get to know a few
of the more enduring classics. If you always wear the same fragrance, you may become so
accustomed to it that your delight is diminished. As a changing young woman, it is important for
you to diversify your perfume wardrobe. So let us study the makeup of fragrances as we search
for the scents most suited to you.
By sampling, you will learn what is right for your various moods, changing activities, and
different associations. But remember, each scent sends a different message.
SHOPPING PERFUMES AND COLGNES
A “Perfume bar” is an exciting place to shop seriously for a scent. In department stores, many
brands can be tested and sampled. A four-part method of selecting a personal fragrance is as
follows:
The Scents Secrets
 Fragrances are less powerful in hot, dry environments because the sense of smell
is impaired. In such atmosphere use a more intense scent.
 Fragrances smell stronger in warm, tropical, humid settings. However, they
evaporate more quickly. Use fresh, delicate perfume. The air will magically
intensify it. Sea breezes, however, can overpower a fragrance.
 Fragrances last longer on oily skin and tend to become oversweet. Beware.
 Delicate fragrances are better for fair skin.
 Apply fragrances with luxurious enjoyment on bare body following bath and in
stages while completing toilet. Never risk hurried, last-minute dabbing.
 Applying perfume to bare skin in sunlight is dangerous. Chemicals react to
ultraviolet rays and cause skin rashes and dark splotches.
 Realize that those who smoke never experience the full glory of perfume. The
chemicals in cigarette smoke react badly with those in perfume, diminish
fragrance, and also reduce one’s capacity to enjoy the aroma.

 Medication or the pill can change the skin’s reaction to a fragrance, as can eating
onions, garlic, and spicy foods.
 A scent may react differently with the skin during menstruation, and the sense of
smell is often affected during that time.
 The warmer the body, the faster the fragrance fades. More frequent applications
are needed in summer.
 Perfume evaporates even when not removed from the bottle. Store larger
quantities in a cool, dark place. For current use pour some into small, lovely and
sealable bottles and position away from bright sunlight. Oxygen and light are
perfume’s enemies.
 Save your empty perfume bottles and place in dresser drawers and closet. They
will impart their scent to garments for a long time.
PERSONAL CHEMISTRY
One of the most important things you will learn in selecting a fragrance is that every perfume
will mix with the chemistry of your skin. Dark complexions hold fragrances differently than fair
skin, and fragrance experts point to the fact that it takes ten minutes for the true scent to develop
and for you to know its true identity. When shopping for perfume, it helps to start with one you
have already tried. If you are ready for a change and want a slightly different aroma, spray the
new scent on your wrist. Spray a lighter, more flowery fragrance on the other wrist.
There are eight basic classes of perfume as follows:
Layering of Scent.
The ultimate effect of scent is determined by the way you use it. Do not think of fragrances as
the last thing before leaving the house. It should be for your benefit first, so apply it directly after
a bath or shower. “Layering” is the most effective way to wear a fragrance: Begin by bathing
with scented body soap. After the bath, apply a scented body lotion to your damp skin and dust
with a scented body powder when the skin is dry. Then splash on cologne or toilet water and
finally follow with strokes of perfume, sparingly, on your pulse points. Because scent rises, do
not fail to include pulse points at the ankles and backs of the knees. The bouquet of perfume
unfolds best on thin skin over arteries.
Potpourri
A wonderful way to further indulge your sense of smell is with potpourri – a fragrant mixture of
dry flower petals, spices, herbs, and aromatic oils. An open jar can give your room a fresh,
pleasant fragrance, which almost makes you feel you are living in a garden boudoir. Potpourri

also allows you to add another dimension to your personal fragrance: If you place sachets of
potpourri among your clothing in your drawers, it will add a lovely depth and surprise to the
scent of your perfume or cologne. It also adds the subtlety of scent to your dorm room or
apartment. The use of perfume is an awakening and educating process for the senses. It is an art
and makes the breath of life sweet indeed.
Assessment
1. What are accessories? What is their purpose?

2. Give some rules for proper use of accessories.
3. What are some laws of proportion?
4. Enumerate and explain some accessories.
5. Explain some types of jewelry.
6. How do you buy pearls? What are some types of pearl necklaces?
7. What are some gemstones?
8. What are some tips for buying perfumes and colognes?
9. What are some scent secrets?
10. What is potpourri?
Content 10 points


Estancia, Iloilo
Module 6
Social Grace

1. To be able to describe a “finished person”.
2. To be able to give examples of manners in the family, in public places and at the table.
3. To be able to give examples of business etiquette.
4. To be able to give examples of the proper use of silverware.
5. To be able to give proper introduction.
Discussion
Social graces, more popularly known as good manners and etiquette is not a “put-on” or “add-
on” to one’s personality. It should be part of the character of a person.
“Manners”, says Webster, “are social conduct or rules of conduct, as shown in the prevalent
customs: habitual deportment, especially with reference to polite conventions”. Consideration for
others is the basis of good manners. Some questions you can use as guides before acting are:
“Does it make people comfortable and happy?” “How does this action affect others?”
“Manners” are also based on past social customs. The conditions that caused these manners to
be proper no longer exist. An example given by Newton and Green in their book “How to
Improve Your Personality” is the origin of the rule that a man should walk on the curb side of the
street when he is with a woman. According to them, this started during the “horse and buggy”
days when the man’s staying along the curb protected the woman from horses. For custom’s
sake, however, this is still being observed.

Knowledge of good manners give people increased self-confidence. It comes from
knowing what is expected of one in a given situation and of how to do with ease what is
expected. When manners become second nature to a person, he increases his sense of security,
poise, self-confidence, and self-respect. Manners make a difference with how people feel about
you. In this way it becomes part of your personality because it, in turn, makes people react to you
in a peculiar way.
Etiquette consists of an “act of rules of living in our society”. These rules make us more
comfortable and reflect a feeling of what is right toward others. Only the most unusual person,
for one reason or another, completely disregards rules of etiquette with impunity. This person,
however, becomes a most uncomfortable one to be with.
The two most widely read and most researched volumes on etiquette are Amy Vanderbilt
and Emily Post. For questions on which fork or spoon to use at what affair and what dress to
wear to what occasion, you can refer to their voluminous books for guidance. Sometimes though,
these are more suited for foreign situations, so proper adaptation based on common sense should
be made.
STARTING TO BE “FINISHED”
You must prepare yourself to take advantage of the wonderful opportunities available,
opportunities far beyond the life of domesticity and limited social activity that the man/woman of
only a generation or two ago could expect. Fortunately, today’s society generally allows a
generous maturation period during which a young man/woman may develop mentally,
physically, culturally, and socially without the pressure of making her own way. The span
between the ages of twelve and twenty-five is the time in which you move through the school
years to independent adult living and begin to establish your life. As a young person today, you
have been born into a new era and you will want to take advantage of all it has in store.
You can acquire an education, a knowledge of the arts and can travel and experience
social interchange, so that you are an interesting conversationalist and an eager listener. You can
also cultivate simple graciousness and consideration for others. In addition to acquiring such
knowledge and skills, you should also be using this precious time to become comfortable with
the social amenities, so that you will be at ease no matter where you find yourself, and should
learn to dress with individuality and good taste, and to care for your body so that its vigor and
beauty will endure.
These wonderful attributes will be at least partially wasted unless you can learn to get
along comfortably with a diversity of people and to cope with a wide range of situations. The
most intelligent, competent, talented, or beautiful women can fail to reach goals unless they are
at ease with themselves and are able to make those around them comfortable also. Promising
careers, social acceptance, marriages, relationships, and even parenthood can become casualties
of an individual’s inability to establish rapports with others.

One step in acquiring that essential rapport is to replace the self-absorption of childhood
with a genuine concern for others. While this concern must come from the heart, it is easily
communicated by one who possesses the correct social tools. There is o place for rudeness,
crudity, even for indifference or ignorance, in relationships between human beings. While
elements of etiquette change with the times, the fundamental code is timeless, based as it is on
kindness and consideration for others. Etiquette is no longer reserved for the privileged, but it is
standard for society as a whole. It is just as important for the young man/woman at the
supermarket check-out, or the teenaged babysitter to know and observe correct social usage, as it
is for the rising young executive or the debutante. Remember that you are a role model yourself,
and you have many opportunities to raise the level of your social interactions.
ETIQUETTE
Rules of conduct in relationships were of necessity developed and refined through the ages. Each
generation has sought to transmit these necessities of life to its successors and to inspire the
young to even higher levels of culture and taste. Gradually the body of etiquette that is the
standard for civilized people has come into being. As you can mend your way through the
decade that connects childhood to maturity, etiquette can serve as a road map, a set of directions
to keep you from making the wrong turns, from choosing a dead end, socially or career-wise.
The term etiquette seems stilted or phony, but consider that etiquette is merely a name
for a pattern of behaviour that is based on consideration for others, appropriateness, and good
taste, and which, once learned, helps you to do the right thing in almost any circumstance. The
increasing appreciation of courtesy and proper personal conduct, especially among young
people, is one of the most encouraging trends of our time. Technically, the word etiquette comes
from Old French, and means “ticket” or “label”. The word etiquette originally meant the ticket of
entrance to France’s court ceremonies – upon this ticket were written the rules of court
behaviour. A similar “ticket” also listed the regulations to be followed within the walls of a
feudal castle and was commonly found attached to a post inside the courtyard. Therefore those
invited into the castle were not at a loss to how they should behave; all were put at ease, and
business or social gatherings or ceremonies ran smoothly. Consider your knowledge of etiquette
as “ticket” of admission into the conventions of a polite and caring society. Consider it a special
pass that will enable you to relate to others with thoughtfulness and polished manners.
HOW OFTEN DO YOU SMILE
In the world of hospitality, nothing is more natural way of communicating an attitude of cheer in
welcoming a guest and making him or her feel at ease than smiling. For a hospitality
professional, siling is as natural as a fish swimming in the water. Smiling is an instant energizer.
It makes you look approachable, friendly, relaxed, open and comfortable. It shows others that

you have a sense of well-being and that you have enjoyed life. Smiling also improves your voice
quality by relaxing your throat muscles. It also makes you look younger.
EYE CONTACT
If you want to look and sound sincere, maintain eye contact with the person you are speaking to.
Looking a person in the eye means that we acknowledge their presence and that you are listening
to his or her every word. Not maintaining eye contact is like saying, “you are a non-person,
insignificant”
The most valuable message of eye contact is recognition. A fleeting glance is not enough:
On the other hand, a penetrating glance means, you’re overly interested in that person and may
be embarrassing and uncomfortable. Break eye contact frequently as you talk or listen. The best
technique is to look down to the side and then back. A polite listener will focus on the chin,
mouth, or one side of the other person’s face. Rules of eye contact depend on one’s culture. So
be conscious of the rules.
SUGGESTED WORDS TO USE OFTEN

1. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Add the person’s name. Ex. Mr. Cruz, Mr.
Santos, How may I help you? What can I do for you? May I help you?
2. Please – yes, please … Could you wait for a few minutes, please? This sounds better than
“wait for a minute”
3. Thank you … Thus is better than “thanks”. Say thank you to your co-workers, to guests,
to your supervisor, to vendors, to anybody who does something for you.
4. It’s my pleasure. “It’s my pleasure sir or ma’am,” “You’re welcome.”
5. “I am sorry”. An apology is not used often enough when we acknowledge our fault. To
be effective, it must be sincere, personal and timely. Use the word “I” not “we” or “they”.
Say “I am sorry” right away to acknowledge that there is a problem and that we are going
to solve it.
6. “I’ll be happy to …” conveys the message that we are giving this additional service
happily and we are going this extra mile for the guest. This could be an effective response
to customer’s request.
7. Remember persons’ names – A person’s name is to him/her, the sweetest and most
important sound in any language. This is Dale Carnegie’s advice (Mr. Public Relations
himself). You can say, “Could you help me pronounce your name please?” “Could you
spell that for me please ?” You may ask for business card or look at luggage tags, etc.
Some rules are:
a. Pay attention
b. Repeat the name immediately

c. Make mental association – the name Candelaria could bring out an image of a candle,
etc.
8. “Please, be my guest” … you can say this when someone is borrowing something that is
yours.
Words to Avoid
1. I DON’T KNOW
2. I CAN’T DO THAT
3. YOU WILL HAVE TO
4. NO
Use Instead
1. LET ME CHECK
2. LET’S SEE WHAT I CAN DO
3. WE CAN HELP YOU
4. YES, OR MAYBE, NO PROBLEM
SOCIAL GRACES IN THE FAMILY
Many times the home is the place we “let go” so to speak. We re careless with the way
we act or with what we say, mainly because we are confident that we will be forgiven anyway.
This is not a healthy situation. It is at home that we should practice the social amenities of living.
In that way, we will look awkward in public.
It is of paramount importance that we should respect the privacy of each member of the
family. From this will emanate an atmosphere of mutual respect, trust, and love. Examples of
these are knocking before entering the rooms, not opening the mails of others, not looking
through another person’s belongings, not taking or “borrowing” articles without asking
permission, not snooping or listening in to the conversation of others either over the telephone or
when one is entertaining in the house.
FAMILY MANNERS
Where there is life, there should be love. Especially family love. Love makes a house a
home. Size, color, location have nothing to do with the spirit that dwells inside.
A family and its manners are shaped by the quality of the spirit they share. A spirit based
on love makes a happy home and always produce good manners. When a child feels love,
understanding and genuine recognition, many of the problems of delinquency are avoided.

Second in importance to love in a family is communication. Families need to talk to each
other, and they need to talk honestly.
It is not always easy to be completely honest. Some things might seem embarrassing to us
and we would rather not discuss them.it might seem easier, at times, to tell a “white lie” and
avoid the truth. Honesty is always the best policy and the best manners, especially at home. Our
manners and our character are shaped at home.
Actually, there is no such thing as “a little white lie”. Little white lies grow into big black
habits. We can be sure that if someone lies to us, they will lie about us. Lying is already a disease
that is best healed in the beginning. Good manners are healthy.
Honor Your Parents
Fathers and mothers deserve respect. They don’t need to qualify for it. They learned it when they
gave us life. How do we honor our parents? We …
 Ask for their advice

 Look at things from their perspective
 Try to please them
 Have a good attitude
 Show respect
 Thank them
 Compliment them
 Obey them
Parents need our honor. They want to know they have our support, just we want to know we
have their’s.
Sisters and Brothers
We often spend more time with our sisters and brothers than we do with anyone else. We also
may have more problems with them than we have with others. Many of these problems can be
avoided if we:
 Don’t tease
 Don’t be sarcastic
 Don’t tattle
 Showed love
 Helped one another
 Picked up for one another
 Didn’t worry about “favorites”

 Didn’t count chores
 Don’t mock
 Stick up for one another
(taken from Hartley, Hermine Karuhatan, Valenzuela the family book of
Manners. Christian Literature Crusade, 1999)
SOCIAL GRACES IN PUBLIC PLACES
This includes behaviour in the streets, on the bus, in restaurants, in church, in theaters and
movie houses, and in school.
In the street – Have you ever felt frustrated when in a hurry and you could not walk past a
group of people walking across the sidewalk? I am sure you have. When walking in groups do
not walk more than two abreast. Let other pass from behind you. No one has a monopoly of the
sidewalk.
When crossing the street the gentleman stands on the side of coming vehicles. As
mentioned earlier, when walking along the sidewalk, the man is on the curb side.
On the bus – Time was when men had to give up their seats for the ladies. Today, times
have changed. This is no longer the rule. When women are working and fighting for equality in
all fields of endeavour, they have to pay the price in terms of less courtesy.
When entering a crowded bus, the women now stand just like the men. It is expected,
however, that should there be one available seat and a man and a woman are both eyeing that
seat, the man should give in to the woman.
When women stand on the bus, they should keep their feet firmly planted on the floor,
brace themselves for sudden jolts and avoid embarrassment of falling in someone or flat on their
faces. Should she be carrying too many packages or books, perhaps it is wiser to ask the person
seated near the aisle to hold them for her in the meantime.
If the woman is escorted by a man, the lady should climb onto the bus first. In leaving,
the man should precede the woman and extend a helping hand when she is getting off the bus by
holding her arm or supporting her elbow.
In a restaurant – During out is one of the “musts” in today’s society. You dine out with
school friends, an acquaintance, your family, etc. If you are able to dine out graciously, people
will find it a joy to eat with you. Crude manners are the cause of embarrassment to people dining
out with you.
When entering the restaurant, the man precedes the woman and leads her to a convenient
place. If there is a waiter who comes forward to attend to them, then the man steps backward and
lets the woman go first. When the seat has been chosen, either the waiter or the man pulls out a
chair and seats the women.

The choice of a seat should depend on the view she will get. She should be by a window
if there is a view to see, or be able to look out into the main part of the restaurant. She should not
be placed where passing people may strike her chair, or facing a wall or a swinging door.
When there is a group of four, the women are seated wall seats and the men on the aisle
seats; the men opposite the woman. If a younger couple dines with an older one, the older couple
are given the wall seats. When one woman is accompanied by two men, she seats herself
between them.
For many years past, it was not in good taste for the woman to order directly. This
rule is not followed anymore, especially when there are more than two people eating. The
women give their orders directly. The waiter asks the woman for their preferences and there is no
reason why she should not answer him directly.
When the man is familiar with the restaurant and its specialties, he should suggest some
choices to her. If they are both unfamiliar, he should ask the waiter to recommend some of the
specialties of the restaurant.
Unless a woman knows that an escort is well off, she should show some consideration for
his pocket and avoid asking for expensive items on the menu.
The Smorgasbord
This is a delightful importation from Sweden. Actually it is food served buffet style. It is
a buffet of such variety and interest that is becoming increasingly popular, both in the Philippines
and the United States.
Here you have a wide selection of cold cuts, fish, a choice of hot foods, salads, and
desserts. Part of the fun of dining in this style is in choosing the food. Since you are expected to
make as many trips as you wish to the smorgasbord table, you should not overload your plate.
If you choose foods that do not go well together, use a clean plate for each trip. Leave
your used plate and silver at the table for the waiter to remove. Take your time.
Calling the Waiter
The usual way is to catch is eye and then raise your hand as if to say “Come here”. If he
does not look your way, you may call “waiter” or “waitress” quietly. If he is too far from you,
ask another waiter nearby to call him for you. Clapping the hands, whistling, shouting, or saying
“pssst” is considered rude.
Paying the Check
When everyone is finished, the host catches the eye of the waiter and says “Check
please”. The check is presented face down on a small plate. He looks at it, checks it quickly for

mistakes, and returns it to the plate with the money. If he has found an error, he points it out
quietly. The proper adjustment should be made without a “scene”. If the management is
unpleasant, simply pay the check and do not return to that restaurant again.
Tipping
It is difficult to give definite rules for tipping. In the Greater Manila area, a service charge
of 10% is already added to the bill. It is indicated as “SC”. If this is done, then just a small
amount is left for the waiter if you are satisfied with his service. Should there be no service
charge included in the bill, 10% of the total bill is a reasonable tip to the waiter.
If there is a notation at the bottom of the check “Please pay cashier”, put the tip on the
table, collect your longings and leave. If he has no loose change, he pays the check first and
quickly returns to the table so that the waiter knows he is not forgotten.
Payment by means of credit cards is a convenience for members of credit organizations.
All he has to do is give the check and his credit card to waiter for processing, after which he
signs a voucher.
Other Restaurant Courtesies
When a group enters a restaurant and sees people who some know and others do not, they
continue directly to their table, nodding “hello” as they pass. When introductions are necessary,
all men stand when a woman is being introduced. But when a woman is introduced to another
woman, the latter remain seated.
When a man passes a table and talks to just one man, the other man also do not stand. If
the conversation will take some time, ask the waiter for a chair and introductions may be in
order. The men then, stand one by one, as they are introduced.
If a woman stops to chat with another woman, the man stands. If they continue talking,
the woman who walked in should ask the man to continue eating, with, “Do sit down” and “Go
on with your meal”, the more considerate woman should stop talking and leave the couple alone.
A thoughtful woman always avoids extensive making-up in public. At the end of the
meal she may quickly powder her nose and put on a little lipstick; but to do so for any length of
times is in poor taste. Never comb the hair in public. This rule applies to both men and women.
In Church – the church is a place of worship. It is a formal, quiet place. It is not a place for
socializing, meeting one’s friends, boisterous behaviour, and unnecessary chatting.
Being a formal place, conservative clothing should be worn. Definitely out are improper
clothes such as backless, bare midriff, low necked, micro-mini skirts. Nowadays, the more
formal pansuits can be worn to church. However, match your clothes to the particular parish.
There are parishes that are broadminded when it comes to what they could call “proper attire”.
Do not unduly attract attention when you enter. Walk quietly to a convenient seat.
Choose one in front when early and one at the back, if late. Avoid greeting friends in a loud

voice. Quietly acknowledge greetings with a slight bow of your head and a smile. If you have
something to say, whisper to the person that you would like to talk to him after the services.
Laughing conspicuously is definitely out of place in church.
Participate actively but do not attract attention by praying too loudly or singing at the top
of your voice, you are not trying out for the opera.
At the Theater – with a revival of cultural presentations in the Greater Manila area, it is
imperative that the person who is studying to have improved social graces, learn how to behave
and what to wear to these functions. Places where one may go to for such happenings are the
Cultural Center and the Meralco Theatre.
On arriving at the theatre, the host or hostess holds the tickets in is hand so that the usher
may see them, but he allows his guests to pass in ahead of him.
The man should sit on the aisle. When there are two couples, the man should go in first,
followed by the two women, and finally the other man.
It is not fashionable to be late for the theatre at any time. Anyone late the first act should
be considerate enough to stand at the back of the theatre until the act is over. In some theatres,
the doors are not opened for late comers until the end of an act.
As with many other social customs there has been an increasing trend toward less
formality at the theatre. It was once unthinkable to wear anything less than formal full evening
dress. Today, except an opening night, full dress is an exception rather than the rule. Women
wear suits, cocktail dresses, street dresses, and pansuits to a concert. Dark suits or “barong
tagalog” are worn by the man. The Filipino Terno is always considered formal attire.
At the Movies – unless you are attending a movie premier, “casual” attire is in order. The kind
of “casual” to wear is determined by the location of the moviehouses. Shorts are acceptable in
suburban theatres, but not for downtown moviehouses since they attract a lot of attention in the
street.
When there are no ushers, a man and woman go down the aisle together. If the place is
rather dark, wait at the rear until your eyes get used to the darkness. You may avoid stumbling,
only to find out that there are no vacant seats in front.
Talking, coughing, rattling cellophane and candy wrappers, crackling of nuts, etc. – are
annoying and disturbing to everyone in the audience. If young people want to talk or giggle, they
should stay home and watch television.
Sticky fruit seeds and peanuts should be gathered in a paper bag instead of scattered on
the floor. This bag can be disposed of as you leave the moviehouse.

INTRODUCTIONS
Introductions are an important part of good manners and you must accept the responsibility and
perfect the skill of performing them with natural ease. Act promptly to smooth the situation if
someone you know (however slightly) joins a group in which in which you are a participant and
is obviously uncomfortable. Even if you do not remember his or her name, turn to the new comer
and say, “How nice to see you again. I’m Maria Cruz. We met at Suzy’s party”. The newcomer,
grateful to be recognized, will then give his or her name, and the rest is easy. Never ask, “You
don’t remember me, do you?” Should you bring a friend to a gathering or meeting, it is your
responsibility to introduce him or her at the door to the host or the hostess and to see that your
guest is comfortably introduced throughout the event.
The important thing about introductions is that they have to be made. The wordings vary,
but the fact that you’ve made them is more important. Although rules for introductions have
become less rigid, nevertheless a form must be followed.
1. Mentioning name of person you are honouring first - This person could be an older
person, a distinguished person, a lady, your boss, a clergyman, etc.
“Miss de la Cruz, this is Mr. Reyes.”

“Secretary Perez, this is Mr. Santos.”
“Mr. Ramos, this is Mr. Cruz of ABC Co.”
“Fr. Martin, this is Miss Gray.”
In cases where you introduce your husband or wife, you say:

“Jaime, I would like you to meet my wife”
Then adds: “Maria, Jaime Reyes.”
If you want to use a more formal introduction, you say, “Mr. Cruz, I would like to
introduce you to Mrs. Reyes.” The word “to” preceding the lady’s name means that you are
giving her due respect.
2. Business reversal of ordinary introduction. You say, “ Mr. Ramos, this is Miss
Manalo of XYZ Co.; Miss Manalo, this is Mr. Ramos, my employer.
3. Acknowledging an Introduction – The best acknowledgement is “How do you do.” If

you can repeat the name, it would be better. In a more informal gathering, especially
among the young, you say “Hi” or “Hello Sonia”. If you are introduced to a person you
are especially glad to meet, you say, “I’m glad to have the opportunity to meet you.”

4. Shaking hands – Shaking hands is a more formal way of acknowledging an introduction.
In this case, the lady extends her hand first. If the man starts the gesture, then the woman
takes it briefly and firmly; neither a painful hold nor a limp, insincere one. If you are
wearing gloves, shake hands with them on.
5. Rising for an Introduction – A man is expected to rise when introduced at all times. A
woman does so, only when introduced to an older woman or to a distinguished person.
6. Introducing oneself – There are occasions when you find yourself beside a person at a
gathering and there is no one to introduce you. In such cases, it is preferable for you to
strike a casual conversation rather than stare blankly at the walls. You say, “I’m Maria’s
cousin,” or “I am a classmate of Juana”. You may also say, if the other person is known
to you, “Aren’t you Tessie Reyes? I’m the sister of your friend Pedro Reyes.”
Conversation can easily pick up from there.
7. When incorrectly introduced – When your name is incorrectly given or your title,
“Miss” or “Mrs.” is wrongly given, it is only sensible that the error be corrected
immediately. You can say, “Miss, not Mrs.”, in a nice way, without seeming
sanctimonious about it.
MANNERS AT THE TABLE
One of the most accurate measures of civilization – be it a society’s, a family’s, or individual’s –

is the way it feeds itself. Dining ranges from very formal situations to ordinary, day-to-day, table
amenities. Neatness, noiselessness, and sociability are the goals of dining etiquette.
Table manners, just like manners in other social situations, have changed significantly
over the last 15-20 years. The uncompromising social code has gone forever and times demand
that a fresh approach to etiquette and good manners be adopted. The Victorian rules of how to
wield a knife and fork at the table and using that as a gauge of social status is gone. Informality
prevails in table settings as well as table manners.
Most parties now serve luncheons and dinner’s buffet-style and the most informal
settings and dinner ware.
For small gatherings, however, the sit-down dinner may still be the correct thing. In these
cases, there are some guidelines to be observed in setting the table.
In a sit-down setting, everything must be geometrically spaced; the center piece in the
actual center, the plates at equal distances and utensils balanced.
The centrepiece must not be too high that the guest cannot see over it. It can be flowers or
fruit arrangement or a distinctive conversation piece object.

In the placement of plates, about two feet from plate center to plate center is ideal. People
can sit closer together in a round table arrangement and where low-backed chairs are used.
The silver is placed in the order of its use, with the implements to be used first, farthest
from the plate. The fork is to the left of the plate, the knife to the right, with the cutting edge
toward the plate. The spoon is placed to the right of the knife. The dinner napkin is folded square
and flat and at the side of the fork only when it is necessary to put food on the table before
seating the guests.
Cocktail Parties
Cocktail parties have become the most common form of entertaining, and they are the
most popular form of business entertaining. They require less preparation and are less expensive
than a dinner party.
The menu varies, but even the simplest must provide more than just hors d’oeuvres
(pronounced as ‘ordervs’) – A plate of cold meat, ham, chicken, turkey, or roast beef, slices of
carrots, celery, and some sandwiches are also served. All these are attractively arranged on the
table and the guests go around the table and serve themselves as often as they wish.
It is wise to hire a bartender for the evening. He generally stands behind a bar or a table
loaded with ice, bottles of liquor, soft drinks, and an array of glasses. The guests go to the bar
themselves and request the kind of drink they wish. A waiter or two could also be hired to ask
the guests for their drink preferences.
Table Etiquette
1. Hold the knife and fork correctly. There are two eating styles that are correct. – The
American, in which you eat with the fork in the right hand and change over to cut.
The Continental, in which cut-off bites of meat can be speared with the fork, tines
dines down, in the left hand and transferred to the mouth with the left hand.
When cutting meat, hold the fork in the left hand, tines down, with the handle
touching the palm of your hand. Use the same grip on the knife, with the handle lying
under the palm of the right hand.
2. The fork is slipped under the food, and the morsel lifted up and conveyed to the
mouth. Carry the food directly to the mouth, not stopping halfway to talk.
3. Get conservatively-sized bites. Do not stuff your mouth with food by taking bite after
bite without chewing. Chew with your mouth closed and chew thoroughly. Do not
talk with your mouth full.
4. Sit erect at the table. Don’t lean your elbow on the table. Your head should be down
slightly, but not dropped low over your plate. Keep one hand on the lap except when
you are cutting food or when steadying a dish.
5. Things eaten with a fork – Meat, (fish and poultry, too) vegetables, salads, pie, sticky
or very soft cake, pie or cake ala mode, brick ice cream (if it is very hard),
watermelon and other juicy, uncooked fruits and berries. (Remember, food is to be
lifted upon the fork, not speared.)
6. Things eaten with the fingers – bread, rolls, sandwiches, (except hot ones and some
three-deckers that fall apart); celery, olives, radishes, practically all of the popularly-
termed “rabbit foods”, as snacks (carrots sticks or curls, green pepper rings or sticks,
raw cauliflower leaflets); nuts, candy, all canapés and hors d’oeuvers; cookies, tea
cakes, tiny tarts, cakes that is not sticky or excessively crumbly; bite-size chunks of
solid cheese, apples and such fruit; unless these foods are served with a serving fork
or spoon, they are also to be taken from the serving tray or plate with the fingers. It
goes without saying, of course, that you touch only those morsels that you take.
7. Never use your bread to mop your plate, nor do you “dunk” your bread in coffee or
cocoa.
8. Take soup with a spoon, spooning away from you. Do not “slurp” your food with
your spoon. Don’t blow on the soup to cool it. Wait until it is cool enough to eat.
9. If you drop for your silverware, leave it there. Apologize briefly; do not make a
scene.
TIPS FOR DINING AND BUSINESS ETIQUETTE
Etiquette is defines as “the forms, manners, and ceremonies established by convention as

acceptable or required in social relations, in a profession, or in official life”.
Times change and this affects the guidelines of etiquette. Common sense will typically be
your best guide, but it I helpful to have some general ideas regarding dining and business
etiquette.
DINING ETIQUETTE
It is important to know how to conduct oneself properly at the table. The rules of dining
etiquette are fairly straightforward and mostly require common sense.
Table Setting. It can be very confusing to be presented with a variety of eating utensils.
Remember the guidelines “to start at the outside and work your way in”. If you have given two
forks, which re the same size, begin with the fork on the outside. Many restaurant use the same
size of fork for both the salad and the main course.
Napkin. When dining with others, place your napkin on your lap after everyone at your
table has been seated. Do not open your napkin in mid-air. As you remove your napkin from
your table begin to open below the table level and place on your lap. If you must leave a meal, do
so between courses, and place your napkin on your chair or to the left of your plate. When a meal
is completed, place your napkin to the right of your plate – never on the plate.

Served. Wait for everyone at your table to be served before beginning to eat. However, if
an individual who has not been served encourages you to begin eating, you may do so. Eat
slowly while waiting for their food to be served.
Dessert Utensils. Dessert utensils may be found placed across the top of the place
setting. Slide these utensils down for use after the main course is removed (fork to the left and
spoon to the right).
The Formal Place Setting
Passing. Pass “community food” such as the breadbasket, salt and pepper, and salad
dressing to the right. Always pass the salt and pepper together. When passing items such as a
creamer, syrup pitcher or gravy boat, pass it with the handle pointing toward the recipient.
Bread. Bread/rolls should never be eaten whole. Break into smaller, more manageable
pieces. Buttering only a few bites at a time. Toast and garlic bread however may be eaten as a
whole pieces since they are usually already buttered. If you are served a piping hot muffin or
biscuit, you may break in half crosswise, butter and put back together. However when ready to
actually eat, break it into small pieces.
Glasses. A variety of types and sizes of glasses can be used throughout the meal.
Remember your items to drink will be located in the area above your knife and spoon. Coffee
cups may be located to the right of the knife and spoon.
Finished. When finished with a course, leave your plates in the same position that they
were presented to you. In other words, do not push your plates away or stack them.
Guest. If you are someone’s guest at a meal, ask the person what he/she recommends. By
doing this, you will learn price range guidelines and have an idea of what to order. Usually order
an item in the mid-price range. Also keep in mind, the person who typically initiates the meal
will pay.
There are many things to keep in mind when dining, but as always common sense should
be your guide. When dining with the prospective employer remember it may look like
lunch/dinner but it’s still business. The way you act during a meal will have impact on an
interviewer’s hiring decision and your future.
BASIC TABLE MANNERS

 It is inappropriate to ask for a doggy bag when you are a guest. Save the doggy
bag for informal dining situations.
 It is best to order foods that can be eaten with a knife and fork. Finger can be
messy and are best left for informal dining.
 Do not order alcoholic beverages. Drinking too much when dining out is one of
the most disliked behaviours.
 Do not smoke while dining out.
 Sit up straight at the table. It makes a good impression.
 When you are not eating, keep your hands on your lap or resting on the table
(with wrists on the edge of the table). Elbows on the table are acceptable only
between courses, not while you are eating.
 Do not season your food before you have tasted it.
 Never chew with your mouth open or make loud noises when you eat. Although it
is possible to talk with small piece of food in your mouth, do not talk with your
mouth full.
 Do not slurp soup from a spoon. Spoon the soup away from you when you take it
out if the bowl and sip it from the side of the spoon. If your soup is too hot to eat,
let it sit until it cools; do not blow on it.
 If foods get caught between your teeth and you can’t remove it with your tongue,
leave the table and go to a mirror where you can remove the food from your teeth
on private.

 Engage in the table conversation that is pleasant but entirely free of controversial
subjects.
 You should not leave the table during the meal except in an emergency. If you
must go to the bathroom or you suddenly become sick, simply excuse yourself.
Later you can apologize to the host by saying that you didn’t feel well.
 If you need something that you cannot reach easily, politely ask the person closest
to the item you need to pass it to you. For example, “After you have used them
yourself, would you please pass me the salt and pepper?
 If a piece of a silverware falls onto the floor, pick it up if you can reach it and let
the server know you need a clean one. If you cannot reach it, tell the server you
dropped a piece of your silverware and ask for a clean one.
 If you or someone you are dining with is left-handed, it is best for left-handed
person to sit at the left end of the table or at the head of the table. This
arrangement helps ensure that everyone has adequate elbow room to eat
comfortably.
 If food spills off your plate, you may pick it up with a piece of your silverware
and place it on the edge of your plate.
 Never spit a piece of bad food or tough gristle into your napkin. Remove the food
from your mouth using the same utensils it went it with. Place the piece of food
on the edge of your plate. If possible, cover it with some other food from your
plate.
The information presented here is drawn from a number of sources, including the
following books and video recordings, some of which are available in the Career
Resource Lab (Lucina Hall 235)
Table manners play an important part in making a favourable impression. They are
visible signals of the state of our manners and therefore are essential to professional success.
Regardless of whether we are having lunch with a prospective employer or dinner with a
business associate, our manners can speak volumes about us as professionals.
Napkin Use. The meals begins when the host unfolds his or her napkin. This is your
signal to do the same. Place your napkin on your lap, completely unfolded if it is a small
luncheon napkin or in half, lengthwise, if it is a large dinner napkin. Typically, you want to put
your napkin on your lap soon after sitting down at the table (but follow your host’s lead). The
napkin remains on your lap throughout the entire meal and should be used to gently blot your
mouth when needed. If you need to leave the table during the meal, place your napkin on your
chair as a signal to your server that you will be returning. The host will signal the end of the meal
by placing his/her napkin on the table. Once the meal is over, you too should place your napkin

neatly on the table to the right of your dinner plate. (Do not refold your napkin, but don’t wad it
up, either.)
Ordering. If, after looking over the menu, there are items you are uncertain about, ask
your server any questions you may have. Answering your questions is part of the server’s job. It
is better to find out before you order that a dish is prepared with something you do not like or are
allergic to than to spend the entire meal picking tentatively at your food.
An employer will generally suggest that you order be taken first; his or her order will be
taken last. Sometimes, however, the server will decide how the ordering will proceed. Often,
women’s orders are taken before men’s.
As a guest, you should not order one of the most expensive items on the menu or more
than two courses unless your host indicates that it is all right. If the host says, “I’m going to try
this delicious sounding cheesecake; why don’t you try dessert too,” or “The prime rib is the
specialty here; I think you’d enjoy it,” then it is all right to order that item if you would like.
“Reading” the Table Setting. Should you be attending a formal dinner or banquet with
pre-set place settings, it is possible to gain clues about what may be served by “reading” the
place setting. Start by drawing an imaginary line through the center of the serving plate (the plate
will be placed in the center of your dining space). To the right of this imaginary line all of the
following will be placed; glassware, cup and saucer, knives, and spoons, as well as seafood fork
if the meal includes seafood. It is important to place the glassware or cup back in the same
position after its use in order to maintain the visual presence of the table. To the left of this
imaginary line all of the following will be placed; bread and butter plate (including small butter
knife placed horizontally across the top of the plate), salad plate, napkin, and forks.
Remembering the rule of “liquids on your right” and “solids on your left” will help in allowing
you to quickly become familiar with the place setting.
Use of Silverware. Choosing the correct silverware from the variety in front of you is not
as difficult as it may first appear. Starting with the knife, fork, or spoon that is farthest from your
plate, work your way in, using one utensil for each course. The salad for is on your outermost
left, followed by your dinner fork. Your soupspoon is on your outermost right, followed by your
beverage spoon, salad knife and dinner knife. Your dessert spoon and fork are above your plate
or brought out with dessert. If you remember the rule to work from the outside in, you’ll be fine.
There are two ways to use an knife and fork to cut and eat your food. They are the
American style and the European or Continental style. Either style is considered appropriate. In
the American style, one cuts the food by holding the knife in the right hand and the fork on the
left hand with the fork tines piercing the food to secure it on the plate. Cut a few bite-size pieces
of food, then lay your knife across the top edge of your plate with the sharp edge of the blade
facing in. change your fork from your left to your right hand to eat, fork tines facing up. (If you
are left-handed, keep your fork in your left hand, tines facing up). The European or Continental
style is the same as the American style in that you cut you meat by holding you knife in your
right hand while securing your food with your fork in your left hand. The difference is your fork
remains in your left hand, tines facing down, and the knife in your right hand. Simply eat the cut
pieces of food by picking them up with your fork still in your left hand.
When You Have Finished. Do not push your plate away from you when you have
finished eating. Leave your plate where it is in the place setting. The common way to show that
you have finished your meal is to lay your fork and knife diagonally across your plate. Place
your knife and fork side by side, with the sharp side of the knife blade facing inward and the
fork, tines down, to the left of the knife. The knife and fork should be placed as if they are
pointing to the numbers 10 and 4 on a clock face. Make sure they are placed in such a way that
they do not slide off the plate as it is being removed. Once you have used a piece of silverware,
never place it back on the table. Do not leave a used spoon in a cup, either, place it on a saucer.
You can leave a soupspoon in a soup plate. Any unused silverware is simply left on the table.
BUSINESS ETIQUETTE
A good point to remember in business etiquette in everyone should be treated with equal
courtesy and respect. Times have changed and some of the old standards no longer apply.
Secretaries are important people and should never be taken for granted. Treat them courteously
in all your transactions. Treat people the way you wish to be treated. Gender no longer needs to
be the deciding factor in everyday events.
Business etiquette should be a give and take, to help each other when help is needed and
have consideration for others. Good manners and business etiquette have always been based on
common sense and thoughtfulness.
Punctuality. Be on time – no one wants to be kept waiting. If it is an unavoidable delay,

try to contact the person. Keep in mind that you never know when you will encounter heavy
traffic, wrecks, construction or other delays. Always allow extra time particularly if you are
going to an interview. For interviews you should arrive 10-15 minutes before the interview time.
Greeting. When meeting someone, rise if you are seated, smile, extend your hand and
repeat the other person’s name in your greeting. A good handshake is important – it should be
firm and held for three-four seconds. Today, in the business world it is not necessary to wait for a
female to initiate the handshake.
Telephone Manners. Telephone manners are very important. Have a definite purpose for
calling someone because telephone calls are an intrusion into their busy day. Identify yourself
and speak clearly into the phone – never chew gum, eat, drink or smoke while using the
telephone. If you encounter someone’s voicemail, state your name, organization, reason for
calling and slowly give your telephone number.
Many people will leave a very good, clear message and then quickly rattle off their phone
number. Voicemail is most efficient if you leave a concise but detailed message. Many times the
person receiving the call will be able to get the information you need and leave that in their
return call or message to you. Use voicemail wisely and efficiently. Always have a concise,
professional greeting on your answering machine/voicemail.
Smoking. Be aware of smoking policies. You should never smoke during an interview, at
a meal or when you are aware that the other person’s pleasure does not include tobacco smoke.
Office Parties. Office parties are good opportunities to improve morale and build good
will. Keep in mind these are people who see you every day and they will remember a lapse in
behaviour, be aware of your alcoholic consumption and do not embarrass yourself. Do not
discuss business – tis is a social occasion and an opportunity to learn more about your co-
workers.
Cultural Courtesy. Cultural courtesy is becoming very important as more business is

being conducted in foreign countries. Show appreciation and respect for the differences between
our country and someone else’s. You should always be aware of these cultural differences in
etiquette. Be sensitive to their rules of etiquette. If you are travelling overseas representing an
American firm be very aware of the customs and culture of the country you are visiting. This can
be very important to your business dealings. Research the customs and culture of the country
with which you will have business transactions.
Five Key Words. Remember five words that are too often neglected in business:
Please, Thank You and Well Done
Social skills can help us build more productive relationships. In these changing times,
one needs to prepare for a variety of encounters in both the business and social environments.
THE ART OF CONVERSATION
Auditory impressions are as important as visual ones. The tones of a lilting voice are as
appealing as dramatic coloring. An attractive, creative use of words is as interesting as smart
accessories, and a lack of vulgarity and grammatical error in daily speech is as important as
fastidiousness of body and clothing. You must also accept the fact that what you say is as
significant as the way in which it is said. Being pleasant and grammatically correct is not
enough. Your conversation should be exciting, indicative of interesting thoughts and opinions,
amusing and original. Do not delude yourself that members of the opposite sex are turned off by
intelligence and thoughtfulness in their female friends. On the contrary, bright, knowledgeable,
articulate women are recognized as stimulating companions, wives, and business and civic
leaders.
In past generations, the dinner table was the source of mental as well as physical
nourishment. Current events, literature drama and other cultural topics were discussed as well as
trivialities which are both important to conversation. Today, incompatible individual schedules
often lead to solitary meals and television set often drowns out any attempts at important
communication. Your life will be richer and more meaningful if you talk to many kinds of
people from all walks of life. Sophisticated people respect the political, religious, cultural, and
moral commitments of others and can listen to diverse opinions without anger. Almost everyone
who is pleasant and sincere has something to offer that can widen your horizons.
Sometimes people think polite conversation has to be boring and flat. Not at all. The most
princely conversationalists have always been thinkers, people delicate in their respect for the
feelings of others, but also, on occasion, colourful, funny, even uproarious, or politely dissenting.
The best conversation has sincerity and kindness. I have also noticed that people who believe it
is worthwhile and fun to exchange ideas, whether in serious discourse or chitchat, are so much
more adept at it than those who scorn conversation.
The first requisite for becoming a good conversationalist is to learn to be a good listener.
Conversation consists not only of talking but of listening discreetly, with unfaltering and
constant attention. B giving thoughtful consideration to what another is saying, you now only
feed new facts and ideas into your busy mind, but you also win the appreciation of the speaker. It
is rude to interrupt a speaker, even one who is rudely monopolizing the occasion with long-
winded ramblings and repetitions. Never interrupt. By the same token, never be guilty of
delivering a monologue rather than engaging in a two-way conversation.
The three things you can talk about are: people, things, and ideas. Talking about people
does not mean gossip. It means lively talk about persons of general interest. You do not have to
restrict your conversation to “intellectual” topics – talking about the latest rock or movie star can
be as enthusiastic. It is easy to think of people to talk about. Listen to programs on radio and
television, see interesting movies, read a variety of books, magazines, and newspapers. And you
can talk about people whom you know, as long as you do not say anything about them that you
would be embarrassed to say to them.
Things are the second subject area that is good conversation. Remember details of a trip,
a building, artworks, your hobbies, and hobbies of others. Talk about ideas that can be either
wonderful or dangerous. Politics can divide people quickly, as can religious beliefs. If you want
to discuss current events, you must do so in a low-key, objective way that will not offend others.
It is better to open with, “What do you think about our new President?” than “ I think our new
President is terrible (or wonderful)!” In conversing with close friends, you may express your
innermost thoughts and opinions, of course, with consideration and respect for their beliefs.
Learn to talk about ideas without preaching or ramming your point of view down
someone else’s throat. Talking about ideas include the weather, your surroundings, the arts,

current or local happenings, fashion, food, entertainment, diet, exercise, sports, and travel are all
good topics.
Your main aim in conversation is to make other feel at ease; “breaking the ice and other
difficult situations will bring everyone a sense of comfort – feeling at home and having a good
time. Often you say to yourself, “What do I say?” Sometimes saying the least is many times the
best.
Selflessness is conversation’s cardinal rule. Some people that an exchange should be
practiced in advance, but this is seldom called for. Rather, expand your horizons by
extinguishing all thoughts of yourself.
Offer compliments and always accept one graciously. An interesting person is someone
who is interested in others. Ask question about the other person, without overdoing it. Do not
flatter unnecessarily. When you give your opinion, it is always polite to follow with, “And what
do you think?” Certainly do not disagree with everything the other person says in an effort at
sincerity. If the question is, “do you like the theatre?” the answer is “no, I don’t but I love going
to the movies.”
Any topics can be friendly or unfriendly. Discuss dancing, for instance in a sharing way,
communicating your enthusiasm, and the topic is very friendly. But if you exhibit superiority,
boredom, or impatience, the same topic becomes offensive. Body language – open posture,
forward leaning, a light touch to an arm, eye contact, a nod – can enhance the friendliness of the
topic greatly.
There are also topics that must be avoided. Never ask a question you would not want to
answer yourself. The most obvious are very personal questions concerning marriage and divorce,
death and disease, or questions concerning the cost of one’s things, personal income and
expenditures. Other inappropriate subjects are gossip and dirty or ethnic jokes. For the most part
avoid obscure or difficult subjects – unless of course, if you are talking to someone who is an
expert on the subject.
When you hear the voice of prejudice from one person or group, let it be known that
slurs, ethnic jokes, name-calling, and the like are not your style and you are made uncomfortable
by such hurtful generalizations. Silence unfortunately, might be taken as agreement. At least try
to gracefully change the topic of conversation. You may say, “Let’s change the subject please”,
rather than be aligned with this type of conversation.
When in company, do not speak about a private matter or a mutual friend to others in
attendance knows nothing about. If you wish to discuss such a subject, you must first give a bit
of background information in order that the others are not “left in the dark”. Likewise, when
someone new joins your group, always draw him or her into the conversation by explaining the
subject under discussion.
Do not speak the truth. Never yield to the temptation to “color” or “pad” your
conversation or to “top” another’s story by saying things that are not true. Do not “toot your own
horn”, that is, brag or boast about yourself or your accomplishments.

When several people comprise a conversational group, make an effort to look at each
person during the conversation. Direct some part of your talk, whether a statement or anecdote,
to each one individually in turn. Never place your hand at the side your mouth to shield
something you are saying from the ears of another in the group – or in the room for that matter.
Anything said in the group must be said to all present. Otherwise, it is a private matter and
should be reserved for private conversation.
Share the conversational stage and even take a minor role, thereby making starts of the
others – you should never try to “steal the show”, by being always the most witty or by topping
the stories told by others. Allow others a turn at gaining a laugh or two adding their “two cents
worth”. Try to build upon the remarks of others. The slightest comment by the shy
conversationalist might reveal his or her favourite topics, thereby opening up a stimulating
conversational partner. Be a conversational “fisherman”. “Fish” for topics until your
conversational partner “bites” and the topic is devoured “hook, line, and sinker”. Keep a mental
“bag” of topics from which to select at a moment’s notice.
REVIEW QUESTIONS
1. Describe a “finished” person.

2. Define manners; etiquette.
3. Give some examples of manners in the family, in public places, and at the table.
4. How do you introduce your mother and your friend? Write the dialogue.
5. Give some rules for good conversation.
6. How do you improve your speaking voice?
7. Give some pointers on how to increase your vocabulary.
8. Give some pointers on business etiquette.
9. Give some examples of how to answer the telephone. Write the dialogue.
10. What are some rules to remember in receiving visitors in the office?
Content 10points
Organization of ideas 5points
Language facility 5points
Total score: 20points


Estancia, Iloilo
Module 7
Communication Skills

1. Describe the communication process.
2. Identify verbal and written communication.
3. Use the telephone correctly.
4. Use the cellphone correctly.
5. Identify body language.
6. Enumerate and explain the barriers to communication.
7. Enumerate and explain pointers for better listening.
8. Enumerate and explain pointers for better reading skills.
9. Enumerate and explain pointers for better writing skills.
10. Enumerate rules on taking messages.
Discussion
Communication is the basis for all office tasks. The office worker deals daily with the spoken
and written word through such activities such as handling telephone calls and taking messages,
composing memos and letters, giving and receiving instructions, and receiving visitors.
Figure 1. COMMUNICATION METHODS

Communication Process – the Communication Process may be defined simply as the
exchange of message by human beings. It is the transmission of the ideas from the sender
(source) to the receiver through channels. The segments of communication are the source,
message, channel and receiver. Communication is not complete, however, if there is no feedback
or response from the receiver back to the sender.
Figure 2. COMMUNICATION PROCESS
Segments in the Communication Process
The theme of a recent film describing the need of teamwork among staff and managerial
personnel urges staff and managers to “communicate”. A sign displayed in an executive’s office
reads: “Don’t just write – COMMUNICATE.” It is apparent that the communication process is
more than the sending and receiving of messages through the use of the four communication
methods. In fact, the mere acts of reading, writing, listening, and speaking do not guarantee that
communication is taking place. How often do people watch or listen to television and yet ignored
what is being said? Or how many students have gone through the motions of completing a
reading assignment and yet gained a little or no understanding from the exercise? It is possible
for human being to miss a message being sent to them despite the expert application of
communication techniques. But that is just one complexities of the communication process.
The complete communication process consists of four segments: the sender, the message,
the receiver, and the response. (Figure 2 diagrams these elements)
The sender creates a message with an idea of the response he or she hopes to evoke. The
quality of the message is influenced by the personal characteristics of the sender: intelligence
level, education level, cultural background, writing and speaking skills, attitudes, feelings,
dispositions, beliefs, and values.
The message has two kinds of information: the substantive as well as the subjective. It is
in the subjective aspect that the feelings, attitudes, and values of the sender are transmitted and
the feelings, attitudes, and values of the receiver influence the way the message is received.

The factors of the communication are communication skills, attitudes, knowledge, social system,
and culture. In other words, the quality of the message is influenced by the personal
characteristics of the sender: his or her communication skills, attitudes, knowledge, social
system, and culture, beliefs and values. The receiver of the message also possesses a unique set
of personal characteristics like the sender.
A response or reaction occurs whenever a message is received. The receiver may react
positively or negatively. That response is called feedback. Unless there is a feedback, the sender
will not know that the message has been received. The use of the five channels or senses makes
the message clearer. For example, if the message is sent by means of an illustration (use of the
eyes), by talking (use of the ears), by feelings (use of the hands), by smelling (use of the nose),
and by tasting (use of the mouth) – the message will be received more clearly than if the sender
used only one channel.
The exchange of feelings and attitudes in the communication process is known as
interpersonal communication. Valuable interpersonal communication takes place when the
message creates positive attitudes and feelings for both the sender and the receiver. Feedback is
valuable, for it lets the sender know whether the message has been correctly interpreted and how
the receiver reacts to the message.
As the communication process continues, it becomes a communication cycle. The
sender’s message results in a response. That response takes the form of a message to the original
sender who then becomes a receiver. The cycle repeats itself.
Example: the sender says, “Your recipe is wrong.” The receiver sees this message
subjectively, as an insult, so he sys defensively, “You always criticize my work”. But if the
message is received substantively, the receiver will say, “Okay, I will improve it.”
Figure 3. COMMUNICATION CYCLE

Importance of Communication
Communication is the lifeblood of an organization. Management acquires information for

decision making and control through communication. Managers spend as much as 95% of their
time in interpersonal communication. Effective interpersonal communication helps satisfy the
psychological needs, motives, or feelings of individuals within the organization. Good
interpersonal communication requires empathy (putting oneself in another’s shoes to understand
the other’s point of view) and concern for others. Lack of positive interpersonal communication
skills will hinder the efficient and effective accomplishment of the goals of the organization.
Effective communication is more than simply speaking and writing well. It means
choosing words carefully and knowing when to talk and when it is better to remain silent.
The Flow of Communication
In the office, messages can flow upward, downward, or laterally within the organization. They
may be exchanged between individuals, between and among groups or between an individual
and a group or groups. Communication networks or channels are developed and facilitate the
flow of messages. In an organizational structure, communication may flow from the Board of
Directors down to the support staff. Usually, however, communication flows upward from the
support staff, through middle management to top management, and not directly to the top.
One advantage that the staffs has is that he or she can select what information is
communicated upward and downward. The information sent downward must be reported
accurately and completely and the communication upward must be condensed without distorting
the message. This is one of the most important and difficult tasks of the staff.
Besides formal communication networks, every organization develops an informal

communication channel known as the grapevine. It may be positive when the real and true
feelings and attitudes of a group are communicated, which for one reason or another was not
communicated in the official channels. Getting such information into proper hands can be the
task of the staff. Grapevine information reduced to gossip and hearsay has little value in an
organization.
Barriers in the Communication Process
Communication breakdown can be caused by physical and environmental conditions –

noisy room, hot weather, weak voice, uncomfortable chairs, large room, etc. For the most part,
barriers are psychological in nature. Each person interprets messages from a frame of reference
or perspective learned from his or her total life experiences. Different interpretations can be
given the message because the sender and the receiver operate from different frames or
reference. Words mean different things to different people. Emotions can get in the way of
effective communication.
The sender’s intentions are private and exist only in his or her mind. These intentions are
not always made clear, especially if they concern feelings of liking or disliking – hence
miscommunication takes place. Oftentimes, you are so busy of what you are doing that when
someone approaches you to talk to you, you are not able to detach yourself from the task to listen
effectively. When this happens, not only do you fail to receive the message the sender intends,
but you also may communicate a feeling of not caring. This causes the sender to have negative
feelings and make future communication even more difficult.
Emotional involvement can also cause miscommunication. Consequently, you may miss
entirely the meaning of the other person’s message in your haste to get your point across.
Distortions of the communication occur when you tend to cover up your inadequacies to insure a
positive reaction from your superior rather than communicate your real concern. Lack of trust
also causes a decrease in the amount of information shared and increase in suspiciousness
regarding the validity of the information.
Although you have experienced all these barriers at one time or another, there are things
you can do to overcome these barriers. Active listening on the part of the receiver is very
important in overcoming these barriers.
Verbal Communication
Communicating with words is one method of exchanging ideas, information, thoughts,

and feelings. A good vocabulary is an asset to the office worker who must communicate
verbally. He or she must use a vocabulary that the receiver will understand. The level of
difficulty of the language used by the sender of a message must be geared to the language used
by the sender of a message must be geared to the language level of the receiver. The use of slang,
incorrect grammar, or profanity detracts from the professional image of the office worker.
Technical vocabulary should only be used with those who understand the same technical
vocabulary.
Words spoken, whether they be formal or informal communication, should be sincere,

and the voice friendly. Speaking can be made effective in several ways:
a. Vary the pitch of your voice. Speaking in a monotone, usually the result of habit,
bores the listener.
b. Pace the speed of your speech. Hard-to-understand messages should be delivered
slowly, but do not speak too slowly or it gets boring. Speaking too fast may cause the
listener to miss the message.
c. Eliminate such expressions as: “okay”, “you know”, “uh, uh”, or in Filipino “bali”.
d. Speak loudly enough to be heard by the person you are speaking to, but not too loud
to distract others who are not concerned.
e. Correct serious speech defects by seeking professional speech therapy.

f. Analyze your pitch, tone, pace, and speed by using a tape recorder.
g. Improve grammar and other language-skills by enrolling in an English Grammar or
Business English course.
Listening
Listening is not the same as hearing. People usually hear the entire message, but too often
its meaning is lost or distorted.
Listening is an intellectual and emotional process in which one integrates physical,

emotional, and intellectual inputs in search of meaning. In order to be good listeners, we should
be objective. Active listening requires a conscious attempt to understand the speaker without
letting personal opinions influence the content of the speaker’s message. We should concentrate
on what the speaker wants to communicate and not what we want to hear.
The normal listener is likely to understand only 50% of a conversation. This drops to
25% after 48 hours. This means that recall from memory of a particular conversation which took
place more than a couple of days before will always be incomplete and usually inaccurate.
Listening to employees is one of the most valuable and effective tools for helping
employees feel understood and accepted. It helps to accurately determine the employee’s
problems and goals and to understand how the employees really feel about them.
Poor Listening Habits
Below are some poor listening habits. Study them and begin a program of improvement
on the art of listening.
a. Doing all the talking – Do not monopolize the conversation by doing all the talking.
Do not tell people what their problems are and how to solve them.
b. Interrupting – Saying “I know what you mean” before the other person finishes
speaking in another listening problem.
c. Avoiding eye contact – Although people listen with their ears, they judge whether the
receiver is listening by looking at his or her eyes. Maintain eye contact.
d. Showing boredom – Do not play with a pencil, fix your hair, doodle, shuffle papers,
wipe your glasses, or play with some objects while the other person is speaking.
Acting rushed or looking at your watch are also signs of boredom.
e. Allowing telephone interruptions – Do not make incoming or outgoing telephone
calls while someone is speaking. It makes the other person feel unimportant.
f. Being easily distracted – Looking out the window to see if anything is more
interesting or being distracted by external noise, passers-by, or overhearing another
conversation.

Active Listening
The active listener is skilled at sensing, attending, and responding. Sending is the ability
to recognize the silent messages (vocal intonation, body language, facial expressions) that the
speaker is sending. Attending refers to the verbal, vocal, and visual messages that the active
listeners sends to the speaker (eye contact, body language, head nods and facial expressions).
Responding refers to the active listener’s giving feedback on the accuracy of the message and
feelings, keeping the speaker talking, gathering information, making the speaker feel understood,
and getting the speaker to better understand the problems being discussed. Active listening takes
great concentration and attention.
Body Language
People communicate not only with words but also with their movements. The messages
people give with their facial expressions, gestures, and posture are called body language, or
nonverbal communication. Paying attention to a speaker’s body language when you listen can
improve your understanding of what the speaker is telling you. When you are talking, you’re
listeners’ body language may help you to judge how they feel about what you are saying.
If people’s facial expressions ever give you the feeling that they do not mean what they
are saying, then you already know a little about the power of body language. The messages you
give with your movements can be stronger than those you deliver with your words. People form
opinions about you base on how you stand and sit. When you stand and sit with your back firm
and straight, you appear self-confident and alert. If you tap and drum your fingers against a
tabletop when someone is talking, you appear bored or impatient. Hand motions, sometimes are
useful in describing how something looks and can improve communication.
Reading
Your reading skills will be valuable to you at work. There will be many occasions when
you must read information quickly in order to respond to an inquiry or to determine what you
should do.
Reading is the process of translating printed information into useful mental impressions.
What you have read becomes part of your memory and is available to you as you think and act.
An adequate reading skill means that you:
a. Read Naturally – concentrate on the meaning of what you are reading, not on the process
of moving your eyes from word to word.

b. Read with understanding and reasonable speed – you need to understand in order to use
the information, ex. Instructions on how to operate the FAX machine. You need to read
within a reasonable amount of time. A speed reading course is recommended.
c. Rea with few pauses because of unfamiliar words – a good command of an extensive
vocabulary is helpful.
To improve your reading skill, you must:
a. Read newspapers and magazines pertaining to your business.

b. Maintain files and scrapbooks of newspapers and magazine clippings pertaining to your
company’s business.
c. Set aside a particular time each day to read job-related material.
d. Interpret and condense large quantities of information going thru your desk.
Writing
As an office worker, you will be helping to create many kinds of documents, including
letters, memos, and reports. Good writing can make you more productive and increase your
opportunities for advancement. In business you may be corresponding with people you do
not know. You have to be sure your message is understood. Some qualities of business
writing are:
a. Completeness – Your message must contain all the information the reader needs in
order to understand it and to respond it.
b. Clearness – Use plain, familiar words. Do not use long words when you can use short
ones. The reader has to understand the words you use.
c. Correctness – Observe the rules of grammar, spelling, and punctuation. A document
with misspelled words and other mistakes can give the impression that you and your
company are careless.
d. Conciseness – Go straight to the point. State what you want to communicate in as few
words as possible.
e. Courteousness – Say, “please”, “I appreciate”, and “thank you” somewhere in your
message. Use the pronoun “you” to emphasize the reader’s point of view. Example:
“You are invited” instead of “I am inviting you”.
f. Consideration – Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Imagine yourself reading
what you have written. Will it give a positive response?
g. Action – Use the active voice as against the passive voice. Example: “The computer
ordered by you will be sent . . .” The better way: “We will ship your computer by
November 15”.
h. Organization – Present your information in an order that the reader can follow easily.
Prepare an outline before writing so that all points will covered.

RECEPTION TECHNICQUES
The first person, the visitor, comes in contact with the office is the front desk clerk. She
has to be at her best at all times since on her appearance and manners, first impressions regarding
the company are made. This is where the public relations of a hotel staff comes to the fore.
What is public relations? It is the technique of developing and keeping goodwill for the
company and its employees with the public and people with whom the company deals.
Some General Rules
In meeting people, the following rules should be followed:
1. Be Friendly – Greet visitors with a smile. Make him feel that you have his interests
at heart and would like to be of help. Greet the visitor by his name, if you know him
pleasantly not too casually. The greeting can be like this “Good morning, Mr. Cruz,
may I help you?”
2. Be Attentive – Many visitors do not know whom they have to talk to in order to help
them with their problems. By listening well to his explanation you can offer him to
the proper person in the shortest possible time.
3. Ask necessary questions – It requires tact, patience, and perseverance to find out
what the visitor wishes. Questions like, “Do you have a reservation? For how many?”
or “Could the sales department be of help to you?”
4. Attend to your visitors at once – Never let the visitor in front of you wait. If you are
on the phone, say, “Excuse me” to the person you’re talking with on the phone, turn
to the visitor and say “Please take a seat. I’ll be with you in a minute. Be sure you cut
your telephone conversation short.
If you happen to be at your computer, stop first, attend to the visitor, and
after he is either seated or being attended to, then go back to your work. The same
procedure is followed when you are talking with someone else at your desk.
Specific situations:
1. When the visitor is to be admitted

- There is no problem here. Simple greet the visitor, take care of the preliminary
questioning, “Do you have an appointment?” He has one, so you notify the executive that the
caller has arrived. You then escort the visitor in, or if close by, point it out to him.

2. When the visitor is asked to wait
- Always place the waiting visitor at ease; make him feel welcome. He is invited to have
a seat and given magazines or newspaper if they are available. If he wishes to talk, the staff
responds courteously. If the visitor is unusually talkative, she excuses herself after a minute and
returns to her work.
3. When the visitor cannot wait
- if the visitor is asked wait for wait for a period of time and he feels that he cannot wait
that long, arrange for another appointment. “I am sorry, can I arrange another appointment for
you?” or “Would you like to talk to Mr. Reyes, his assistant?”
4. When the visitor is to be denied admittance
- There are some people that the boss has made clear he does not wish to see. In these
cases, you say, “I’m sorry, Mr. Reyes will be very busy for several weeks,” or “he has asked me
to write that matter you wish to discuss with him. May I know what is it?” I am sure he will not
buy encyclopedias at this time. He just got himself a set.”
All the rules of etiquette discussed in this chapter apply to the staff’s dealing with the
public. She should always be courteous, attentive, and thoughtful.
TELEPHONE TECHNOLOGY
The telephone industry is making incredible strides in developing advance technology, and the
telephone will play an ever-increasing role on our lives in the future. This only underlines the
importance of developing professional telephone skills. Today there is the cellular telephone,
known as the “cellphone”, the call directory system used to handle multiple calls, text
messaging, the pager, beeper, and the video telephone. If the hotelier or travel executive has not
been trained to take fast, accurate and complete phones messages, valuable time wasted.
As technology improves and the business use of the telephone increases, the demand for
people who are skilled and professional in their use of the phone will also increase.
Voice Tone Says It All
Did you ever start the day with a telephone call that left you feeling angry or upset, and
then find that all subsequent calls that day seemed to go wrong? The key to your problem is your
voice tone, when people cannot see you, your tone of voice becomes immensely important.
When you are feeling frustrated or angry, that negative emotion collects in your voice. The
person on the other end of the line hears it even though you may be unaware of it yourself. As a

result, the person with whom you are speaking does not trust you as easily. He or she may waste
your time with demands for more details and verification, will not be so cooperative or receptive
to your suggestions, and may even call back to gain reassurance. Your anger and frustration will
escalate, collecting in your voice and adding to your stress.
The fastest way to eliminate the problem of allowing your stress to “show” is to make
conscious effort to project a warm, crisp voice tone. “Put a smile in your voice”. Practice
answering the telephone with a small mirror on your desk. See how you look when you speak
over the telephone. It is almost impossible to sound angry when you are smiling. It takes patience
and practice but once achieved it will do so much to save you time, solve problems, and increase
your productivity on the telephone. The warmth communicates friendliness and personal caring.
The crispness adds the note of professionalism that creates the image of competence and inspires
time-saving trust.
If you want to answer the telephone with a weak little voice, chances are the person on
the other end of the line will distrust you as lacking in competence. On the other hand, you can
accomplish what you want faster when you add energy to your warm tone over the telephone. As
you add more energy to your calls, you will notice that your calls get shorter. Your energy
invites others to be at their best. They are likely to think more clearly. Your tone attracts people’s
interest. You get their full attention.
Some Rules For Answering Telephone Calls
1. Answer promptly – Pick up the phone on the first ring, if possible. It is your job
calling. Never let it ring more than three times. Keep the phone within an inch of your lips.
2. Speak slowly and clearly – Identify your company, greet the caller with a cheerful
“good morning” or “good afternoon”, identify yourself “this is Ms. Cruz speaking:, and offer
assistance with “may I help you?”
3. Always have a message slip and pen ready to take messages – It is very awkward to
make the person on the other line wait while you get a paper and a pen to write down messages.
Techniques on how to take messages will be discussed later.
4. Unattended telephones must be answered by someone nearest to it – excuse

yourself from whoever you are talking to and attend to the call. If the person is away from his or
her office, say, “I am sorry Maria is away from her office (it might be a desk, but office sounds
better), may I tell her who called?” “May I have your name and number please?” Repeat the
caller’s callers name and number and say, Is that correct?” End with “thank you, goodbye.”

5. When the caller dialled the wrong number – Do not be rude. It could happen to you.
Say “I am sorry you must have dialled the wrong number. What number did you call? This is the
ABC Company. Please check the telephone directory for the correct number”.
6. Checking on some information – When you have to check on some information, tell
the caller what you are going to do and suggest to the caller that you will call back when you get
that information. “I have to check that information, it may take some time, may I call you back
when I have it? Your number is _______. Repeat the number. Be sure you call back within the
same day whether you get the information or not. Many times people do not call back when
they say they will. This is very unbusinesslike.
7. Address the caller by professional name – Use “doctor, attorney, professor and use
last name, if possible.
8. Phrase to use – “Yes, I understand; certainly; opo, please; you’re welcome; may;
thank you; and goodbye”.
9. Expressions to avoid – “Sweetheart; ya (slang); sige na dear; babayu; and “babye”.

Never say “He is in the comfort room or he is out to lunch”. Just say “I am sorry he is away from
his office, or he stepped out for a moment (if only for a short time). He will be back at 2 o’clock
if for a longer time. “Would you like to leave a message?”
10. When you leave your desk, inform someone when you are going and when you are
expected back.
11. When you ask someone to place a call for you – Be sure you are available to
receive that call. It is impolite to make the other party wait.
12. Take and place your own call – Do not ask people to answer your telephone or dial
a call for you.
13. Make your conversation as brief as possible – State your purpose as briefly as you
can. Avoid unnecessary preliminaries.
14. If the person needed is on another line – Say, “I am sorry he is on another line,
would you like him to call you back?” End with the usual, “May I have your name and number
please.”
Tackling Telephone Interruptions
You are in the middle of a long, rush project with time pressure closing in on you. Then
the phone rings. You do not want to be rude, but you have no time to talk. What do you do?

Here are some tips. You may be able to use them.
1. Say “yes: to the person – Use a quick phrase that lets the caller you value him or her as a
person even though you are not going to talk to him/her this time.”It’s good to hear your voice.”
“I am glad you called.”
2. Explain your situation – “I am in the middle of a rush project just now.” “I have an important
deadline to meet.”
3. Arrange a callback – “What’s a good time for me to call you back? Are you available
tomorrow? Would it be convenient for me to call you between 2:00 and 4:00 this afternoon?” or
“Could I call you tomorrow before noon?”
Put a Clock On Personal Calls
The most complicated interruptions are personal calls. It is easy to let a personal call a
run longer than you expect. Office rules say “avoid personal calls, except in emergencies; such
as sickness in the family or short instructions to meet someone somewhere.
The 8-Minute Personal Call Check
If you spend more than 8 minutes a day on personal phone calls at work, it may be a
signal that you are having a problem handling these interruptions. To find out just how much of
your time you are just using at work, clock the personal calls you make and receive for the next
three days. If they total more than 8 minutes a day, consider the benefits of keeping them short.
1. You will reduce the necessity of needing to work late
2. Your officemates will cooperate with you when you need help. They will be more
willing to do so if they know you have been wasting time with your personal calls.
3. You will be free to take emergency personal calls without feeling guilty.
Some phrases to use when friends and family are in the habit of calling you at work to
chat. “I want to hear all the details of your vacation. What is the best time to call you at home
this evening so we can have a long talk?”
“It’s good to hear your voice. It is difficult for me to talk right now. Let’s set a date for
lunch this week so we can chat without interruptions.”

Wrap It Up Without Being Rude
You have finished the business of the call but your caller keeps talking. You do not want
to sound rude, but you do need to end the conversation and get back to your work.
Here are some techniques:
1. Talk in the past tense – You can say, “It has been good talking to you,” or “This has
been a very productive call”, or “I am glad we had a chance to talk.”
2. Close with points and promises – Summarize the call. This is effective when you
want to end a call that covered a number points. You can say, “To summarize what we’ve
discussed,” or “Let me go over my understanding of the points we have agreed upon,” You not
only end the call, you avoid misunderstanding that can generate time-wasting call backs.
3. Spell out follow-up actions – “I will follow-up on your suggestion and get back to
you before noon tomorrow.” “I appreciate your checking into that question for me and look
forward to hearing from you before Friday.”
4. Say “thank you.” – This is a universal signal that the conversation has come to an
end. “Thank you for calling. Is there anything else we need to cover before we say goodbye?”
It is now polite in this busy world for either the person called or the caller to end the call.
We all want to use them wisely. You are saving the caller’s time as well as your own.
Placing A Call
When you are the person placing the call, following these simple rules.
1. Be prepared with the correct telephone number of the person you are calling.
2. Have a pen and paper in your hand so you can jot down notes.
3. Make sure you have thought through: WHY, WHAT, WHEN, WHO, WHERE, HOW.
4. Before you pick the phone to make an important call, actually note the headline that focuses
on the purpose of the call. Check off the points and questions as you talk.
5. Focus on the “why” and “what” first. This helps you organize your thoughts and present them
more effectively. It provides you with a checklist of points to be covered, thereby reducing the
need for additional calls on the same subject.
6. Listing the points you want to discuss enables you to get to the point quickly and to keep the
conversation on course.
7. When you are placing a call for someone else, perhaps your boss, when you are asked “who’s
calling,” you say, “I am calling for Mr. Santos of ABC Company.” Giving your name at this
point has no meaning for the receiver of the call, since you are not the one who will conduct
business with Mr. Santos.
Getting Through to People
Sometimes getting through to people you want to reach resembles laying siege to a
medieval castle. You are transferred to X number of persons before you reach the person you
want to speak to. Perseverance helps and plan your strategies.
State the purpose of your call as soon as you have given your first and last name. When
people know what you want to discuss, they can communicate more accurately. When you are
asked three or four times to “Hold please”, be assertive. As soon as the other person comes back
from on the line, say immediately, “Please don’t put me on hold again!” You gain at least a few
seconds of highly focused listening time from the somewhat startled operator. That’s your
opportunity to repeat more clearly whom you wish to speak with.
It may be wise to write a letter first, explaining in detail what you want so that when the
person you want to answers the phone, you can refer to the letter you wrote. This will help
organize your thoughts, give you the opportunity to headline the benefits you offer, and
demonstrates that you are serious about wanting to communicate with the person. You can open
the call with “Did you receive my letter of April 18?”
SIX ESSENTIAL STEPS TO TAKING MESSAGES
How many times have you wasted time following up on an incomplete message? May be
the message just says, “Call Charlie.” No phone number, no last name, no clue as to whether it’s
Charlie your barber or Charlie your friend from out-of-town. When you take a message, it saves
everyone’s tome (and temper) if you follow these few easy rules:
1. Get the full name – If you did not understand it clearly or it is not a familiar name, ask
the caller to spell it for you. Say, “I want to make sure your message is accurate. Will you spell
your name?”
2. Ask for the name of the organization – It’s a good reminder and a way of double-
checking if there is a mistake with the number.
3. Get the full telephone number, including the area code if it is long distance – If the
caller says, “she has it,” you can say politely, ”I know she can get back to you even faster if I jot
your number down with your message”.

4. If the caller does not volunteer any specific message, it will save time on the
callback if you ask, “Is there any information you would like to leave that may be helpful to Ms.
Jones when she calls you back?”
5. Say, “thank you,” and tell the caller that you will give the person the message – It
is reassuring. Avoid saying “I’ll have her call you.” It sounds bossy, “ I’ll ask her to call you,”
is more professional.
6. Note the time and date the message was taken, and add your initials in case there
are any questions.
Learning To Listen
1. When the Customer Starts Talking You Stop. Even if he or she has interrupted you,
STOP! Then concentrate on what they are saying.
2. Never interrupt the customer.
Even if you were interrupted, or what the customer is saying may seem wrong or
irrelevant, hear them out. Concentrate on what is being said. Customer concerns and needs are
important and you will understand and retain them better if you keep the customer’s point of
view in mind.
3. Take Notes. Jot down the idea of what they are saying, not the actual words. It will help you
later call to mind things they have said.
4. Listen for Overtones. It is the equivalent of reading between the lines. If you paying
attention, you can learn a great deal about the customer from the way he or she reacts to the
things you say.
5. Limit your own talking. Remember, you cannot talk and listen at the same time!
WAYS OF USING OTHER TELEPHONE EQUIPMENT
1. Cellphone users – Cellphone users need to know when and how to take calls. If the
cellphone rings during a meeting, excuse yourself to take the call outside. Don’t let the entire
group be hostage to your conversation. Avoid activating your cellphone at church services,
movies and other gatherings where cellphone ringing can be very irritating. Get cellphones that
have vibrating modes. Remember, avoid shouting on your cellphone as this may disturb other
people, especially if you are in a public bus or place.

How to Respect the Rules of Cell Phone Etiquette
From Eric Bernatchez
Your Guide to Cell Phones/Pagers
Should you answer a call in a restaurant? What if your phone rings in a movie theatre?
Should you use it on public transportation vehicles? Here is my take on the cell phone etiquette,
but don’t expect me to be utterly moralist. I believe our cell phones have a place in our lives.
Difficulty: Easy
Time Required: None
Here’s How:
1. Hanging out with a friend? Try to keep incoming calls as short as possible; say you’ll
call back. Talking too long breaches an elementary cell phone etiquette rule by leaving the live
person you are with feeling less important than the caller.
2. When with a group of people, leave the room or set aside to answer an incoming call,
in order not to disrupt their ongoing conversation.
3. VIP’s like a date or a business contact will appreciate the attention if you ignore
incoming calls, if you’re expecting an important call, excuse yourself with emphasis before
taking the call.
4. Contrary to other cell phone etiquette advocates, I believe it’s ok to use your phone in
line ups or in public transportation (unless forbidden by authorities), but speak as softly as you
would if you were talking with the person sitting next to you and don’t go too private: Even if
you don’t mind, others may find it inappropriate.
5. Put your phone in vibrate mode during meetings, meals and at theatres and churches.
6. Always be prepared to have the right reflexes in case you forgot to turn off your phone
at the theatre. If it rings, try pressing the “end” button 2-3 times to interrupt the call then power
off your cell phone. Don’t attempt to answer. Even whispering won’t make it discrete enough.
7. If the connection is bad, tell the caller that you will call back when you find a spot with
better coverage. Yelling generally makes a fragmentary conversation even worse.
Tips:
1. Voice mail and caller ID are two services that help cell phone etiquette: caller ID lets
you know who’s calling so you can determine if it’s urgent or not, and with a voice mail, you
don’t have to worry about a missed call.

2. To make a good impression, ask the people with you: “Do you mind if I make a call?”
3. “Short text messages” are a great way to communicate in silence.
Don’ts:
1. Never take a personal mobile call during a business meeting. This includes interviews
and meetings with co-workers or subordinates.
2. Maintain at least a 10-foot zone from anyone while talking.
3. Never talk in elevators, libraries, museums, restaurants, theatres, dentist or doctor

waiting rooms, places to worship, auditoriums or other enclosed public spaces, such as hospital
emergency rooms or buses. And don’t have any emotional conversation in public – ever.
4. Don’t use loud and annoying ring tones that destroy concentration and eardrums. Grow
up!
5. Never “multi-task” by making calls while shopping, banking, waiting in line or

conducting other personal business.
Do’s:
1. Keep all cellular congress brief and to the point.
2. Use an earpiece in high-traffic or noisy locations. That lets you hear the amplification
– how loud you sound at the other end – so you can modulate your voice.
3. Tell callers when you’re on a cell phone and where you are – so they can anticipate
distractions or disconnections.
4. Demand “quite zones” and “phone-free areas” at work and in public venues, like the
quiet cars on the Metroliner.
5. Inform everyone on your stored-number list that you’ve just adopted the new rules for
mobile manners. Ask them to do likewise. Please.
2. E-Mail Users – E-mail users is the best way to communicate if the message you are to
deliver is not time-sensitive. Instead of calling or faxing, and the message is not urgent, use E-
mail. When E-mailing, avoid typing your message in bold or capital letters. This is the equivalent
of shouting on the telephone.
3. Fax Users – There are two things to remember when we communicate by FAX
machine: first do not run out of paper. Have a stack of fax paper. It is terribly annoying for a
person to send a fax and could not get through because the fax machine at the other end, has run

out of fax paper. If we are to send several pages of our message to another party, ask permission
first and explain why you need to send all pages.
4. Voice mail, Answering Machine Users – When recording a message on your voice
mail or answering machine, skip saying “I’m not here right now.” It is obvious you are not.
Instead, leave a recorded message, with a telephone number where you can be reached if
message is urgent. Always have a cheerful tone or expression when you record a message. When
you hear a recorded message, know what you have to say when you hear the tone or beep. Return
all calls.
SUMMARY
Receiving a Call
Firts, be prepared to answer. Make sure pencils, pens, messages pads, and calendars are
on hand before picking up the telephone. Be mentally prepared to handle the call and block out
all distractions in your environment so that you can concentrate on your call.
Second, answer promptly. Answer on the second ring. When the customer is calling,
quick service helps build a reputation of efficiency for you and your company. Answer with a
smile.
Third, identify yourself. If you are the switchboard operator: “Good Morning (or
afternoon) ABC Company, may I direct your call.” If you are answering for Mr. Santos: “Good
morning, Mr. Santos’s office may I help you?” If you have your own line: “Good morning,
Maria Cruz speaking, may I help you?”
Fourth, get the person’s at the other end of the line, write it down and use it in
conversation. Example: “Mr. Reyes, Mr. Santos will be with you in a moment.” This shows
courtesy and respect for your customer or caller. It communicates a businesslike manner. Use
first names, only if given permission.
Fifth, if you have a “hold” button, use it properly. This is done, when you have to make
the caller wait for just a moment. Do not cover the mouthpiece with your hand and shout. The
earpiece picks up the sound. Use the “hold” button and lay the handset down gently on a surface.
Before leaving the line, ask the caller’s permission by saying, “could you hold a moment
please?” Be sure you wait for a reply, he or she may say “no”. Every 30 seconds give a progress
report by saying, “Mr. Reyes, I am still checking for you. Would you care to hold or can we call
you back?” when you return on the line, say: “Mr. Reyes, thank you for holding.”
Sixth, manage call interruptions when you have simultaneous calls. Excuse yourself from
the first call. Provide an explanation. “Will you please excuse me for a moment? I have another
cal coming in.” Put the customer on hold and answer the second call the same way you answered
the first call. Say, I’m on another call. Would you be willing to hold or may I call you back?”
Return to your original call and say, “Thank you for waiting.”
Seventh, transfer calls only when necessary, such as when you are unable to help the
caller. Explain why the transfer is necessary and to whom he or she is being transferred. “Mr.
Reyes, Mrs. Roxas handles our insurance claims. May I transfer you or can I ask her to call you?
May I have your name and number please?”

Eight, complete calls courteously. Say, “Thank you for calling, Mr. Reyes. Goodbye.”
This leaves the caller with a favourable impression of your company.
Ninth, make the customer feel important. It is up to you to prove your interest in the
caller’s concerns and needs, you must give each caller the impression that they are your most
important call.
Placing a Call
First, plan your call in advance. Know whom you want to call, what you want to
accomplish and what you want to say. Rather than relying on your memory, develop the habit of
preparing a call agenda that summarizes your message and the questions you need answered.
Keep a journal, notebook, or binder close at hand to help organize your calls before placing them
and to make notes during the conversation. Jot down pertinent information discussed on the call,
questions that need answering before the call is completed and any commitments that were
made. This will eliminate misunderstanding and wasted time later and will enhance your
professional image.
Second, time your call carefully. Place your call when the party is most likely to be
available. If you do not know when is the best time to reach for someone, either ask the person
when a call would be convenient or ask someone in their organization who might know when the
person is available for telephone calls. Ask, “would it be more convenient for me to call you
back today between 3 and 4?” Keep in mind time differences when placing long distance calls.
Third, be sure of the telephone number. Save yourself sometime and avoid wrong
numbers by using personal telephone list for those frequently called numbers (a rolodex is a
must). Wrong numbers annoy the party called and cause needless delays and cost money.
Fourth, do not expect others to recognize you by your voice. Identify yourself and your
company. “This is Aida Cruz. I am calling for Mr. Santos of ABC Company. Is Mr. Reyes
available?”
Fifth, leave complete messages. You can save yourself and the person you are calling,
time and irritation, by leaving complete messages. Provide your name, the name of your
company and your telephone number. When you give your telephone number, pause after each
group of numbers so that the person taking the message has time to write it down accurately.
“My telephone number is 833 (pause) 4904.”
Give the reason you want the person to call you back. If you let people know the purpose
of your call, they will be prepared to assist you when they do call you back. “Please ask Mr.
Reyes to confirm his meeting with Mr. Santos in Davao on June 15. The best time to call us back
is between 9 and 10 in the morning and 3 and 5 in the afternoon. Thank you.”
If you are placing a call for Mr. Santos and Mr. Reyes is available, say “Mr. Reyes, Mr.
Santos of ABC Company would like to speak with you.” Confirming of appointments are usually
handled by the executive assistants/secretaries and you do not need the executive to talk to you.
You can leave the message with the secretary.
Placing Domestic Calls
Using DDD budget calls for domestic calls, the following steps are needed: (1) dial the
access code: 0 (for all cities), (2) dial the area code: example (32 for Cebu), (3) dial the telephone
number you wish to call.
If you need to go through an operator, for domestic calls, dial 109. When the operator
answers, say you would like to call station-to-station if you wish to talk to anyone who answers
or person-to-person if you wish to talk to a particular person or extension. Rates are higher for
person-to-person that station-to-station.
You can call “collect” if the person or firm you are calling agrees to pay the charge.
Please inform the operator at once if it is a collect call. Timing starts when the conversation
begins.
For making a call overseas, through an operator, dial 108. Tell the operator you wish to
make an international call and give the number of the country you are calling and the telephone
number. Rates are also lower for station-to-station calls.
Conference Call
You can talk with several persons in different places at the same time. Tell the “operator”
you wish to make a “Conference” call. This call saves travel cost among executives needing to
talk to each other in different parts of the city, country, or world.
Placing Long Distance Calls
If you wish to call the United Sates, using the DDD budget calls, (1) dial the International
Access Code: 00; (2) dial the country code: 1; (3) dial the area or city code (213-Los Angeles);
(4) dial the telephone number you wish to call: Example: 828-3227.
Using the Philippine Long distance Company (PLDT) system, for repairs dial 173 and for
billing questions, dial 171.
Learning to Listen
One of the most important telephone skills is how to listen. Most of us listen with half an
ear. Our attention span is short. Our mind wanders. We are so preoccupied with our own
thoughts and what we want to say that we often interrupt the other person in mid-sentence.
1. When the customer starts talking, you stop. Even if the caller has interrupted you,
concentrate on what he or she is saying.
2. Never interrupt the caller. Even if what the caller is saying may seem wrong or
irrelevant, hear him out. Practice keeping your personal feelings, worries and problems from
interfering with listening to the customer. Caller concerns and needs are important. Keep the
caller’s point of view.
3. Take notes. Jot down the idea of what the caller is saying, not the actual words. This
will help you remember the things he or she has said.
4. Listen for overtones. Read between the line. If you are really paying attention, you can
learn a great deal about the customer from the way he or she is saying things, and the way he or
she reacts to the things you say.
5. Limit your own talking. Remember, you cannot talk and listen at the same time. The
more comfortable you are with the subject, the greater the temptation to talk. Ask questions if
there are points you missed.
How to Manage a Difficult Caller
People who are not happy with the way you answered the telephone will tell others how
poorly your business is run. Negative word-of-mouth advertising can destroy a business quickly.
The customer’s emotions are directed at your company, not at you. Remember this at all time
and remain calm. Keep your voice at the same tone and level you always use with every caller.
Follow the following steps:
1. Do not let yourself become angry or defensive. When you lose control, you lose . . .
period!
2. Listen carefully to the caller’s message. Never interrupt.
3. Let the customer exhaust his or her emotions. Most customers will not continue for
more than thirty seconds.
4. Wait for a pause.
5. Apologize and do not blame anyone. Give the assurance that you will help. “Mrs.
Sison, I’m so sorry you were inconvenienced. My name is Maria Cuneta, I’m glad you
called about this. Let me help you.”
6. Confirm your understanding. Repeat the problem. Use the caller’s name if possible.
“Let me make sure I understand what happened, Mrs. Sison . . .”
7. Think of how you would feel in the same situation. “So that I can help you quickly,
may I ask you a few questions?”
8. Focus on a solution and give your customer options if possible. Obtain his or her
agreement with your solution. “What can I do, Mrs. Sison, is have the bed delivered
first thing tomorrow morning. The table can be delivered the next day. Is this all right
with you?”
9. If you cannot solve the problem on the phone, let the customer know what you are
going to do and give a timeframe for your callback. Obtain customer agreement. “I
will look into the matter and call you back within an hour. Is this okay with you?”
10. Thank the customer for calling and allowing you to resolve the problem. “Thank you
for calling and allowing me to help you. Again, let me offer my apologies for the
inconvenience.”
11. Make a follow-up telephone call. “Mrs. Sison, I am calling about the delivery of the
furniture. Is everything to your satisfaction?”
Answering Calls for Others Who are Away from their Telephones
Sometimes the telephone rings for the executive or a co-worker who is in a meeting or
away from his or her desk.
The following steps are recommended:
1. Explain executive’s or co-worker’s absence. It is up to you to create a good image of

the person for whom you are taking the call. Be discreet. “Mr. Santos is at a meeting at the
moment. May I take your name and number or can someone else assist you?”
2. Screen calls tactfully – This means be aware of how you say something. “Yes, Mr.
Santos is not in at the moment” or “I am sorry Mr. Santos stepped away for a while. May I have
your name and number, or can someone else help you?” Say that the executive/co-worker is not
in before you ask for the identity of the caller.
3. Take accurate messages. Accurate and complete messages save time. Use telephone
message forms and ask for the caller’s full name, firm name and telephone number; repeat and
verify the telephone number. As the caller to spell his or her name if it is unusual or you did not
hear it clearly. “I want to be sure your name is correct. Would you please spell it for me?
Ask for the specific message to save time on callback. “Is there a message you would like
to leave?” “Thank you for calling, Mr. Reyes. I will give Mr. Santos your message.”
An example of a message pad:
MEMO OF CALL
To Steve Franklin 10117 20______
M Gail Talbot called from Coleman-Perry
Telephone NO.: (212) 565 – 7921
I TOLD THAT PERSON THE REPLY WAS:

YOU WERE:
Out No message
Not in today See message below
Not in your office Will call again
Talking on telephone Answering your call
In conference Please call back
Out of town Is is urgent
ADDITIONAL REMARKS: Contact has been received; there are a couple

of questions about utilities. Please call ASAP.
Message taken by ________________________ Time _______________
What Your Voice Says About You
In face-to-face conversation, more than 50% of our communication is done through body
language: eye contact, hand gestures, body movement and facial expressions. On the telephone,

all these are lost. You have to work twice as hard to communicate. The only instrument that you
have is your voice. Keep the following in mind:
1. Put a smile in your voice. How you say it is what puts it across. Begin by putting a
smile on your face – literally! It makes a world of difference in coming across as lively,
enthusiastic, aware and alive. Practice saying one of the phrases in the previous page
without smiling. Say it again with a smile. Do you feel the difference?
2. Reduce your rate of speech. Speak slower than your natural rate of speech. It makes it
easier for people to concentrate for people to concentrate and understand what it is you
are saying.
3. Speak directly into the telephone. Your lips should be about half an inch from the
mouthpiece.
4. Enunciate your words. Be careful with your t and d, and p, b and f. Say S as in Sam, P
as in Peter, etc. Do not speak with food, gum, or pencil in your mouth.
5. Sound natural. Guard against a bored tone of voice. Memorize and practice the
different phrases as given in the previous pages. Practice them with your classmates.
6. Listen to your own voice. Does it convey warmth, sincerity, confidence, interest?
Record your voice. Listen to some of the newscasters on TV and radio. If you have
accent, listen to your voice on tape and improve it or take speech improvement classes.
Use of Telephone Directories
There are two types of telephone directories: The white pages and the yellow pages. The
white pages is an alphabetic listing of all subscribers and the yellow pages is a subject listing of
businesses, agencies, and organizations that pay a fee for the listing of their name and perhaps
for an advertisement. Do not overlook the vast store of reference material in the telephone
directory. Besides telephone numbers, the front pages highlight emergency numbers, dialing
instructions, banks authorized to accept payments, long distance rates, how to apply for
telephone service, how to understand your telephone bill, etc. Study the telephone directories
when you have spare time in your office so that you’ll know where to look for the information
you need when you need it.

MAKING CONVERSATION
Knowing how to start a conversation is vital in the hospitality industry. A conversation

can help a visitor feel welcome and more comfortable in an unfamiliar environment. Also, it may
help YOU, as a service professional, gain the information you need to serve the visitor’s needs.
Giving Clear Directions

It is important to remember that many of the visitors are receiving directions for the first
time. Giving clear directions, therefore is just as important as providing the correct answers to
questions.
Giving Short and Concise Instructions

Avoid using terms that are unfamiliar to the visitor.
The Information Must Be Correct

If you do not know, say so, and then locate the correct information.
Speak Slowly, Clearly and Distinctly

New and unfamiliar terms may be difficult to understand, particularly if the visitor speaks
another language or is a “special needs” visitor.
Instructions Must Be Given Confidently and With Certainty

Look at the visitor when speaking to him or her; he or she will gain confidence in you.
Explanations Should Be Checked

This ensures that the directions have been clearly understood.
Use Non-Verbal Communication

Gestures, diagrams, pictures and writing directions down on paper will help the visitor,
especially one whose first language is not English.

REVIEW QUESTIONS
1. What is the communication process? What are its segments and factors? Give examples.
2. Explain the importance of feedback and give examples in various situations – Home, School,
among friends, etc.
3. What is meant by substantive and subjective meanings in communication? Give examples.
4. Explain the importance of communication at home, at school, in your dealings with your
friends.
5. Explain the flow of communication.
6. Enumerate and give examples of barriers to communication.
7. Give examples of verbal communication. How will you improve your verbal communication
skills?
8. How will you improve your listening habits?
9. Enumerate ways you can have better reading skills.
10. Enumerate pointers for better writing skills.
11. Name some types of telephone equipment and their features.
12. What are some pointers for receiving telephone calls?
13. What are some pointers for placing telephone calls?
14. How do you place local long distance calls?
15. How do you place international long distance calls?
16. What is the difference between station-to-station and person-to-person calls? Which is
cheaper?
17. How do you improve your listening skills?
18. How do you handle a difficult caller/customer?
19. Enumerate pointers for managing difficult callers.
20. How do you discourage personal calls?
STUDENT ACTIVITIES
1. Listening Exercise – Divide the class according to rows.

Whisper to one person in the beginning of each row, the following directions: “Go to
Mega Mall and buy potato chips from the supermarket. Mega Mall is along EDSA in front of
Manuela Bldg., Bring the potato chips back to me.”
This person will whisper the message to the next persons. Who will whisper it to the next
and so on down the row. When the whole row has listened to the message, ask the last person in
each row what the message was. Question: Was the message the same as the original? If not,
why not?

2. Write the following message below on a message pad:
The telephone call was for Ms. Ang from Ms. Santos. The date of the call was June 10,
1994, and the time was 10 a.m. Ms. Santos’ telephone number was 833-4904. The message is
“Confirm your luncheon appointment with me on Thursday, June 11. Please let me know.”
3. Review of terms in this chapter. Put corresponding letters in space below:

a. Body Language h. Message
b. Communication process i. Nonverbal communication
c. Empathy j. Receiver
d. Feedback k. Response
e. Frame of reference l. Sender
f. Grapevine m. Verbal communication
g. Interpersonal communication
_____ 1. One who gives the message

_____ 2. Perspective taken from one’s life experiences
_____ 3. Person to whom message is sent
_____ 4. Reaction that occurs when message is received
_____ 5. Let the sender know that message was received
_____ 6. Exchange of information from sender to receiver
_____ 7. Communication with words
_____ 8. Communication with signs and symbols
_____ 9. Exchange of feelings and attitudes
_____ 10. Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes
_____ 11. Nonverbal communication by the use of gestures
_____ 12. Informal communication network in the office
_____ 13. A segment of communication containing information
4. Get a partner and act out different telephone conversations, using the phrases suggested in this
chapter. Make out different situations that would use all phrases. Ex. Making appointments, the
executive is in and not in, placing a call, receiving a call, answering for someone else, answering
a customer who is angry, etc.
5. Practice making international long distance calls and domestic long distance calls, with the
assistance of an operator and without the assistance of an operator.

Content 10points


Estancia, Iloilo
Module 8
Customer Service
Learning outcomes: upon completion of this module you shall be able to:
1. Define what customer service is.
2. Enumerate some standards of service.
3. Explain why Customer service is important.
4. Name ways of going beyond customer satisfaction
5. Name jobs which have the most unglamorous and toughest customer service.
Discussion
What is customer service? Customer Service comes from two words: Customer,
meaning one who buys something; especially one who deals regularly at a given establishment
and Service, the occupation or function of serving or the work performed by one that serves.
The simplest definition is, being treated like you want to be treated or it’s when you’re
made to feel at home. Customer service is very subjective and exist only in the eyes of the
beholder. Whatever it is, most people will say they know it when they see it or experience it.
Customer service, whether good or bad, exists whenever there is customer contact or a “moment
of truth”. We know it when we go into a department store and get ignored. We feel it when we
go to a restaurant and the staff’s priority is with each other and not their customers. We sense it
when we go into a government office to ask a question and there is numbness in answers.
But all those are examples of what customer service is NOT, not what it IS.
First, look at the two words: CUSTOMER and SERVICE. When the two come
together there are two possible outcomes:
 They can form a collision that will leave the customer frustrated and angry or
 It can be a comfortable joining together of two friends that leave the customer
satisfied and pleased

CUSTOMER SERVICE IS ANY CONTACT, WHETHER ACTIVE OR PASSIVE,
BETWEEN A CUSTOMER AND A COMPANY, THAT CAUSES A NEGATIVE OR
POSTIVE PERCEPTION BY A CUSTOMER.
The perception will be influenced to be either positive or negative by the customers

expectation of the contact having been met, exceeded or disappointed. Unfortunately customer
service is so rare nowadays that it could be a tremendous competitive advantage of any company
willing to understand and develop the tools necessary to unleash it. It is amazing that it is utilized
so little when the effects are so remarkable.
A second, more service oriented definition of customer service is that it must be rampant
throughout the organization, starting at the top, regarded and recognized, admired and emulated
and must be sustained by being ingrained into the fabric of the company. This definition reads
like a mission statement when you think about it, maybe it should.
Standards of Service
Customer focus. Customer friendly. Customer’s service. Whatever you call it, IT means
one thing. Your company has made promises to its customers in the form of advertising and
slogans. Now all you have to do is keep those promises. Or to put it another way, to do what you
say you will do.
After your marketing department brings out these slogans, it is operations that must make
customer service happen. When it doesn’t happen, people won’t blame the slogans, they will
blame the customer contact person and from there, the company.
Marketing and management must be equal and share the same vision, mission and
philosophy. When marketing has done its job and the customer uses your product, the baton is
passed. The customer has the expectation built from marketing and has a level of expectation that
must be satisfied or the experience will be a negative one.
You do this by establishing standards for your service personal. Standards make for
consistency for customers. That makes customers comfortable with your operations, and that
paves the ground for repeat business. Standards have to me measurable, focus on the customer,
and ingrained into the employees job description.
Example: The standards of when they should answer the phone was “quickly”. Quickly.
How would you define quickly? The customer in front of you? Two rings? Ten rings? Implement
defined standards, including answering the phone within a certain number of rings. This was
easily defined and customer oriented. There was no guessing. Employees like standards,
especially high standards. It makes everyone feels good about themselves and their job. Now
they knew what was expected of them and there was now a true standard.

Mixed Messages
What kinds of messages are you sending to your staff when you close the door as matter
of course? It send out several messages. All bad. When the door closes, it send out the clear
message that the boss is either paranoid, insecure, or just plain ridiculous – all negative.
The door should be closed only when there is a necessity. True privacy is necessary when
it concerns personal matters or business discussions that are indeed private. How often is privacy
is truly required? Not very often. Certainly, not each time more than one person goes into the
boss’s office or when the boss goes into any office.
The influence of culture is very important. A closed door has a negative effect on the
morale of the office. When morale declines, productivity declines equally. When you are irritated
with your boss, you do not work as hard. The negative culture breeds defensive working. The
causes of a defensive work style are the employees’ aggressiveness and their willingness to take
chances and to make the inevitable mistakes. The bottom line is that the office climate is
important.
Going Beyond Customer Satisfaction

Customer loyalty is also very important, more so than customer satisfaction. The result of
having loyal customers is worth any extra effort required that will raise your customer service
levels.
The conventional thinking is that if you have satisfied customers, you will have loyal
customers. That sounds right, but it is wrong. What does it take to transform a satisfied customer
into a loyal customer?
Loyalty develops when customers get involve with the company above the normal
transaction. This often takes the form of a problem that is solved in an extra ordinary way and
forces the customer to recognize the individual care. Others occur when employees form a
relationship with the customer by providing individual service that elevates the transaction from
impersonal to the personal.
What are the characteristics of satisfied and loyal customers?
Satisfied Customers:
 Will continue doing business until something better comes along, whether better
location, better price or better variety
 No relationship formed
 No personal interaction
 Sees business as impersonal, only doing business with the company, not with the
person

Loyal Customers:
 Forgives and understands minor problems
 Not price sensitive
 Will help sell the business with word-of-mouth advertisement
 Will not jump at the next “pretty face”
Which is the more desirable customer? Don’t just “satisfy” your customers. It may be a little bit
more expensive, but in the long run it will pay off in multiples and without the massive
advertising expenses required to lure back customers that you’ve had. It is much tougher to get
customers back the second time. Have the emphasis be on forming RELSTIONSHIPS, not sales.
Sales will follow relationships.
The Toughest Customers Service

Employees of the service industries – the servers, grocery clerks, taxi drivers, concierge,
hair stylist, front desk clerks, waiter and waitresses, secretaries, receptionists – whose who earn
their living by giving customers service, one customer at a time. In the world of the service
industry, each and every customer has a face and a personality. Each transaction is personal.
Each shift exposes the service person’s attitudes and training.
When training has taken place, it is immediately obvious because service appears
seamless, comfortable and without effort. When no customer service training has occurred it is
also immediately evident by the transactions being awkward and strained resulting in the
smallest flaws magnified and a chore to get accomplished.
The most difficult part of training customer service in the service industry is to get the
attention of the management that customer service is the most cost effective way to build
customer loyalty. The training necessary to accomplish this should be thought of as an
investment and not just an expense. The effectiveness of customer service reflects the
supervisor’s attitudes of their company, costumers and their employees. Once the attention is
there, customer service has a chance to take a foothold.
Competitive Edge Training

When information is not absorbed training must be define as an expense. When training
is effective it becomes an investment that actually saves money by lowering turnover and
reducing recruitment and training pesos. It further pays dividends by increasing sales and
building customer loyalty.
Training is accomplished in two phases.
The first phase, basic training, enables employees to adequately know their products,
systems and procedures. After this initial training, they should be able to “get the job done.”
The second phase, competitive edge training, increases the level of training. Many
companies believe that this level is too expensive. After all, the products are being sold and
customer service is being delivered. But the long term ramification of adequate or mediocre
service is ignored, although it remains. The most obvious shortcoming is that employees become
order takers, not builders of customer loyalty.
Raise the basic training bar. Chances are it is set too low and not delivering “adequate”
training. Most of us tend to set standards for our employees far below what we would set for
ourselves abd even further below what our employees are capable of. Hire only employees who
have potential and drive to be Competitive Edge employees. All employees should be aiming and
capable of going beyond the basic level.
Know your employees. What percentage are in the Basic and Competitive Edge levels?
Lower the first and raise the second. Get beyond the mechanics of product knowledge, options
available, pricing, value and benefits of the product or service. Ensure that “soft” skills are
taught including attitude. Customers want action and results. Customer awareness that goes
beyond simply knowing your customer into being able to anticipate needs and questions, not
merely reacting to them.
Questions: Why should people go out and pay money for bad service when they can stay
home and get bad service for free?
The Customer is Always Right

Everyone in the service industry has seen customers who have been wrong, sometimes
blatantly wrong. But it really isn’t whether the customer is right or wrong that is important. It is
attitude and trust towards the customer that is important. One of the worst problems of the
service industry is a cynicism that can seep into the attitudes of even the most dedicated people.
One example is the “refund policy”. Service personnel must trust the customer and
believe they are telling the truth. Ask these questions of your service employees:
 Do your employees and management believe their customers when they return a
product?
 Do they believe their customers are basically honest? Do they believe that it is a
very, very small percentage of customers who actually try to scam?
 Do your employees get upset when someone returns an obviously used printer or
flashlight that hasn’t been in stock for months, complain that it is not working
properly and want their money back?
 Do your managers believe the customer when they say their dinner was terrible
and there is only a little bit left on the plate?
The first rule of customer satisfaction is to always assume your customers are
always telling the truth. With that basic assumption, interrogation is eliminated, the
refund process is simplified, and your customers goes away satisfied. This policy also
eliminate both management and employee stress caused by confrontation. Interrogation
assumes the opposite and always achieves the opposite results.
Even though there are customers who take advantage of the system, they are a
minority. The overwhelming majority are honest and expect to be treated with respect.
The public knows which companies are trusting and which are not. Trust transforms the
public into loyal customers.
Why Customer Service is Important

In our personal lives, most of us would like to believe that the more someone
knows us, the more that person will like us.
“To know me is to love me.”
Interestingly enough, this is also the essence of customer service. Customer
loyalty develops as customers feel a connection with a company.
This is important because customer service does more than simply provide a
means to drive sales. When companies have a commitment to customer service it raises
the bar of competition. The only way companies can effectively accomplish this is
through their employees. As the competitive bar goes up, the quality of employees must
go up equally.
Having better employees is good for the individual employee, good for the
company and very good for the customer. When a company is committed to customer
service, its corporate culture will change to absorb this new dimension, first becoming an
integral part, then becoming the driving force causing amazing results to take place.
All of a sudden, the emphasis of the company is its employees because they are
the customer contact point. Remember the competitive bar? Employees are now being
trained ‘seminared’, and ‘work-shopped’. It’s called development, but it’s also called
paying attention to employees. When the employee feels special, you can guarantee that
the customer will feel special.
So give your employee that chance, motivate them with a common goal, develop
them with attention through developmental programs and you will notice them because
your customers will tell you about them. At first you will be surprised, then pleased, then
proud. Then you feel that your customer service bar has been raised to its highest limits.
REVIEW QUESTIONS:
1. What is customer service?

2. What are some standards of service?
3. Why is Customer Service important?

4. How do you go beyond customer satisfaction?
5. Explain how good customer service can motivate employee loyalty.
Content 10points


Estancia, Iloilo
Module 9
Psychological Basis of Personality Development
1. Define and explain human development
2. Define and explain cognitive development
3. Define and explain moral development
4. Define and explain motor development
5. Explain factors of intelligent behaviour
Discussion
Human beings are the most immature at birth and have the longest period of development
before they become capable of all the activities and skills of an adult. Adult behaviour and
personality characteristics are influenced by events that occur during the early years of life, until
maturity. It is a product of continuous interaction between heredity, environment, and
experience, or time. The biological predispositions present at birth interact with the experiences
encountered in the course of growing up. The question of whether the heredity or environment is
more important in shaping the personality of a human being has long been a topic of debate. It
seems that both are inseparable.
HUMAN DEVELOPMENT
How does the human being develop? How do you explain your present behaviour? What does
the saying “Like father, like son” or “Like mother, like daughter” mean to you?
Human development is one traditional focus of psychology. There is a specific course called
Developmental Psychology where the tedious and yet challenging study of human development
throughout the life span is dealt with.

Human Development is generally defined as the progressive and continuous change in
the individual from conception up to death. It encompasses changes as a function of maturation
and learning. Maturation refers to the appearance of specie-specific behaviours like talking and
walking. Learning on the other hand refers to the changes in behaviour as a function of
experiences.
Theories of Human Development

Human development theory has many definitions. But all definitions include changes in
the person across time. A human development theory is then defined as a theory that describes
changes in a person over time. Miller (1993) said that a development theory has three functions.
First, it describes changes in one or several behaviours or psychological activity over time. Then
a development theory describes the relations among several areas of behaviour. For example, it
describes the relationship of changes in the voice and self concept of an adolescent. Finally, a
development theory explains the course of development changes in one of several behaviours or
psychological activities and the relationships among several areas of behaviour.
Theories are crucial as these serve as the frameworks for understanding human
development. All of the human development theories were developed in the Western world.
Researchers in the Philippines have for so long been focused in theory-verification even if
attempts on theory-generation with descriptive studies have been made. The use of Western
developed theories in the Philippines setting should be seen in the context of the peculiarities of
Filipino culture.
PIAGET’S STAGES OF COGNITIVE DEVELOPMENT
Piaget’s Theory in the Philippines

Studies in the Philippines using Piaget’s cognitive development theory do not necessarily
lend support to said theory. For example, while the order of acquisition of specific classification
skills was supported, the concept of reversibility was absent among nursery and kindergarten
pupils in an urban preschool (Miao 1875) Punzalan (1976) also observed that while the
kindergarten pupils form Metro Manila schools performed similarly with Piaget’s Swiss sample
at the same age range, the older Filipino samples differed from the Piaget’s. The Filipino
samples had a lower performance than the Swiss sample. Likewise, the study done by the Child-
Youth Study Center (1971) revealed that at the end of concrete operation period (7-11 years), the
concept of conservation of time, distance, and velocity appear not to have been developed.
Concrete operation is also attained by Filipino children later than the Swiss samples of Piaget.
Philippine studies like those of Punzalan (1976) and Acuňa (1983) suggest influence of
socioeconomic status on cognitive development. The middle and upper-class children have edge
over those from the lower class in maximizing their cognitive development.
Definitely, Piaget has skilfully carved his niche in cognitive development theory. But
what he has done cannot escape developments in “brain wiring” research (Nash, 1977) and
newly emerged concepts, theories of learning and intelligence unknown to Piaget himself. His
theory may then be better appreciated in the context of these development and others that are yet
to emerge.

Soviet Development Theory
While Vygotsky developed his own developmental theory based on mental processes, a
theory described by Vygotsky and Elkonin based on the individual’s activity also emerged. An
activity is “a person’s goal-oriented genuinely industrious interaction with the world, with the
product of this activity becoming transformed in the structure of individual’s intellect” (Thomas
1985). In the child’s interaction with others, he uses language that influences psychic structures
which in turn influences his interaction with others.
Moral Development
Morality, the concept of appropriate conduct or behaviour is inherent in any society. Its
development among the citizens therefore is the concern of all sectors. Two theories of moral
development have evolved that of jean Piaget and Lawrence Kohlberg.
Piaget’s Cognitive-Moral Development Theory

In Piaget’s thought, cognitive and moral development go together. This being the case,
moral development also goes stages. Piaget posited that morality develops within a context and
never in a vacuum.
Structure of Personality
Freud’s structure of personality includes the id, ego and superego. Id, which is also called
the pleasure principle, is present at birth. So it is inborn and includes everything that is inherited
and the instincts (life and death). The id is concerned with needs fulfilment. Also called the
pleasure principle, it is pleasure-seeking and avoids pain. Libido id based on the instincts and its
release leads to pleasure on the part of the child. In adulthood, the id may be seen in impulsive,
pleasure-seeking and selfish behaviours.
Ego – Freud (Thomas, 1985) defined ego as “that part of the id which has been modified
by the direct influence of the external world through the medium of conscious perception.” “The
ego is also called the reality principle as it is concerned with what exist in the environment.
Initially, it negotiates between the id, what gives pleasure to the individual and the conditions of
the environment. But as the individual develops to maturity it mediates between the id,
environment and the superego. Because the ego mediates among the three elements, Freud said
that it serves three tyrannical masters. Defense mechanisms as you will find later are developed
because of the ego efforts to mediate between the id and the realities of the environment.
Superego – of the three, id, ego and superego, the superego is the last to develop. An
infant is amoral without any sense of right and wrong. Although born amoral, infants are born
with the capacity to develop internal values and to feel good (pleased) when they abide by these
values. They have also the capacity to feel bad (sad, ashamed, and guilty) when they do not
follow these rules.
The superego includes both the “should” and the “should nots”, that is, what are
acceptable (rewarded) by the society and those that are not acceptable (punished) by society. In
early childhood, the individual simply does what is rewarded and does not do what is punished.
With the development of the superego he can decide for himself. Strong superego may lead to a
rigid personality, unhappy and extremely moralistic individual. Also, one with the strong
superego may find difficulties when with groups and experience other ill effects. On the other
hand, a very weak superego may lead to violation of norms, disrespect of others’ rights and in
extreme cases, criminality and other behaviours that disturbs others.
While the development of the structure of personality is linear, that is from id to ego and
the superego the id and ego remain even when the superego has been developed. The three work
together and cannot be separated.
Freud’s Psychosexual Development Stages
Freud’s theory emphasized the importance of early childhood experiences particularly the
first five years in personality development. This is shown even in the discussion on the
development stages. His theory is called psychosexual development stages because to him the
use of libido during childhood and adolescence is associated with different sensitive or
erogenous zones of the body. Attention given to a specific body part gives pleasure to the
individual. Miller (1993) emphasized that “the child does not only derive sensuous (libidinal)
pleasure from the use of the zone but her relationships with other people are heavily influenced
by the way they respond to her attention to the zone.”
MOTOR DEVELOPMENT
The human fetus develops within the mother’s body according to a fairly fixed time schedule.
Motor development after birth, such as using of hands and fingers, standing, walking, etc., also
follows a regular sequence. Children in all cultures accomplish these skills at roughly the same
age. The influence of motor development is less on the environment, but it is more of a
maturational process.
You walk before you run, and stand before you walk. All children go through the same
stages in the same order. Environmental factors, however, may speed up or slow down
development, but the order of development is the same with all children.
INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT
In language ability, intellectual skills, and emotional development, the effects of early
deprivation appear to be more lasting. Children, whose learning opportunities are restricted
during the first two or three years of life, are seriously behind in language and intellectual skills.
This is an example of the influence of environment on development.
The Swiss psychologist Jean Piaget (1896-1980) made the most intensive study of
children’s cognitive development. He came up with a series of distinct stages as children mature.
The first two years is the sensori-motor stage. During this period, infants are busy
discovering the relationships between their actions and the consequences of these actions. They
learn to grasp and to push; they learn that their hand is part of their body and that the table is not.
Between two to seven years is the preoperational stage. At this age, the child learns to
use language: to represent objects by using words. Thinking is concentrated on the self and the
child is not capable of taking the viewpoint of others.
Between the ages of 7 and 12 is called the concrete operational stage. By now the child
can think logically about objects and events. The child is able to classify objects according to
several features and can order them in some way, like its size, color, etc.
The formal operational stage is age 12 years and up. The child now thinks logically and
becomes concerned with the hypothetical, the future, and ideological problems.
Transition between stages of intellectual growth is gradual, involving a consolidation of
earlier skills and becomes automatic little by little. The poorer performance of the younger
children may be due to a limited memory capability. This capacity increases as they mature
physically. It seems, however, that what is perfected are the various strategies in improving
memory.
Adam Sferra, in his book PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT & PUBLIC RELATIONS,
defines intelligent behaviour as the general capacity of the individual to think reasonably and to
act with good judgement. It has five factors:
1. The capacity to learn is determined by heredity and environment, with heredity imposing
the broad limits and environment developing those limits.
2. Capacity for abstract thinking is the capacity to think in terms of concepts. A secretary
deals with filing, tabulating, shorthand symbols, and the like.
3. Mental alertness is quickness of observation, understanding, and reaction. The ability to
be alert to what is going on around you and being sensitive to the environment make one
quick to recognize a problem, analyze whose ethnic, social, and religious backgrounds
match their own. Much debate centers on whether happy marriages are based on a
similarity or opposite, and think of steps to solve it.
4. Sound judgement is the result of wisdom, common sense, and does not allow himself to
fall into hasty generalizations, bias, and prejudice.
5. General adaptability is the all around ability to fit successfully into a variety of situations.
The person is ready to meet the challenges that come his way. Your ability to adapt to the
complicated world of people and things measures this characteristic of mature person.
DEVELOPMENT AS A LIFELONG PROCESS
Development does not end with the attainment of physical maturity. It is a continuous process
extending from a birth through adulthood to old age. Eric Erikson a noted psychologist calls
them “psychosocial” stages. They range from the first year of life, second year, third through
fifth years, sixth year to puberty, adolescence, early adulthood, middle adulthood, and the aging
years.
During the first year, the child’s feeling of trust in other people is largely dependent on
his relationship with his mother. In the preschool years, children progress from a simple self-
control to an ability to initiate activities and carry them out. Children learn the skills valued by
society, such as reading and writing, the ability to share responsibility, and get along with other
people.
Finding one’s personal identity is the major psychosocial crisis of adolescence. During
the early adult years, people commit themselves to an occupation and many will form other types
of intimate relationships. They are able to care about others and share experiences with them.
They tend to marry at this stage and look for marriage partners of despair with the realization
that you have not achieved the goals you set as a young adult or that what you are doing is not
important. At age 50, people start thinking of years left to live. Their life is restructured in terms
of priorities, deciding what is important to do in the remaining years.
The aging years, beginning age 65, bring new problems. Declining physical strength
limits the person’s activities. Retirement lessens feelings of worth and self-esteem. Retirement
village and homes actively involve older people in community life. Old age is a time of
reflection, of looking back to the events of a lifetime. If satisfied with their lives, these old
people possess a sense of wholeness and integrity; but if life had simply been a series of missed
opportunities and failures, the final years will be of despair.
The satisfactory relationships are based on the following elements:
1. Mutual respect for each other,
2. Tolerance and the ability to accept one another’s shortcomings, and
3. The ability to agree on common goals and work toward them.
Ages 40-65 are called the years of middle adulthood. These years constitute the most
productive period. Men in their forties are usually at the peak of their careers. Women
have less responsibility at home, since at this point the children have grown up, and they
can devote more time to career or civic activities. A concern of people in this age is to
provide for the next generation – helping your teen-age children become adults,
providing for others who need help, and so on. This stage, however, is also characterized
by feelings of uselessness.
REVIEW QUESTIONS
1. Explain the statement, “Motor development is less on the environment and more
of a maturational process.”
2. What re the stages of intellectual development? Explain.
3. What are the factors of intelligent behaviour?
4. What are the “psychosocial” stages? Explain.
Content 10points


Estancia, Iloilo
Module 10
Motivations and Emotions
1. Explain Maslow’s hierarchy of needs
2. Explain how to handle your hurt and anger
3. Explain how to control your temper and stress
4. Do some exercises for meditation
5. Develop a sense of humor
Discussion
Why do you want to be successful? Why do you want to be a singer, an actress, a doctor, a
lawyer, and so on? The motives are definitely not biological. New motives, learned with
interacting with other people account for the complexity of these needs. These are called
psychological motives and are distinguished from physiological needs.
Abraham Maslow, a leader in the development of humanistic psychology, classified
motives and constructed a hierarchy of needs, ascending from the basic biological needs to the
most complex psychological motives.

Self-actualization needs:
needs to find self-fulfilment and realize
one’s potential
Aesthetic needs: symmetry, order, and beauty
Cognitive needs: to know, understand, and explore
Esteem needs: to achieve, be competent, and gain approval and

recognition
Belongingness and love needs: to affiliate with others, be accepted, and

belong
Safety needs: to feel secure and safe, out of danger
Physiological needs: hunger, thirst, and so forth
Motivation and emotion are closely related. Feelings determine our actions, and
conversely, our behaviour often determines how we feel.
There are two basic theories of motivation. One is Freud’s psychoanalytic theory that our
actions are determined by inner forces and impulses that often operate at an unconscious level,
while social learning theory maintains that our behaviours is learned through interaction with
and observation of the environment.
Emotions results from the satisfaction or non-satisfaction of a motive. Emotions are
strong feelings of some kind accompanied by highly complex changes in the body itself, like,
weakness in the knees trembling and ‘funny feelings’. Emotions are reactions to either
frustrations or satisfactions. If you are hungry and cannot find food, you get angry. When
satisfied, however, you are happy. Man inherits his physical equipment for emotional expression,
but learns the kind of emotional behaviour that he demonstrates.
KINDS OF EMOTIONS
There are pleasant emotions, such as love, feeling of accomplishment, and affection; there are
also unpleasant emotions, as fear, anxiety, and anger.
LOVE. Love and affection are emotional responses which, if expressed in a positive way
form the basis for many of man’s greatest achievements. Love builds tolerance, self-sacrifice,
friendliness, and many other pleasant experiences. If love is used negatively, it can result in
vanity, selfishness, and deteriorate into hate and jealousy.
Disappointment in love causes hurt feelings.
HOW TO HANDLE YOUR HURT

Everyone is vulnerable at one time or another; no one can avoid all hurt. If you live life to its
fullest, you’re bound to encounter disappointment and rejection. On the other hand, getting
burned can help you grow into a more sensitive, caring person.
Most people associate vulnerability – the capacity to be hurt by others – with weakness or
inadequacy. But there’s nothing wrong with feeling vulnerable, and there’s no reason to fight the
pain. (In fact, realizing everyone’s experiences hurt is likely to help you learn to deal with it
better, so that what might once have been an excruciating jab becomes more like just an
unpleasant pinprick.) “Vulnerability is not a bizarre state of affairs, it is universal.”
It’s difficult for anyone to handle hurt, “but teen-agers are especially susceptible.” During
adolescence, “there are great stresses because teens’ personalities and bodies are just in the
process of forming, since teens haven’t formed an identity they feel comfortable with, they’re
open to hurt.”
You’re vulnerable, every time you become

deeply involved with other people
Teens often experience this kind of vulnerability for the first time around the ages of
fourteen and fifteen, when peers begin to abandon their long friendships with the same sex to
explore relationships with the opposite sex. This may cause tremendous pain for the loyal
confidant who’s left behind. Or a girl may feel devastated when a boy suddenly dismisses her
shortly after he has professed his love. Since teens don’t really know themselves fully, many of
them tend to establish tentative relationships. This often means rejection for the person seeking
permanent attachment.
Even understanding that the relationship isn’t likely to last forever won’t pass over. What
can help is being forced to confront your emotion, analyze expectations, and probe into the
reasons for being rejected. Reviewing the relationship may help you avoid repeating the same
mistakes, especially if you felt responsible for the split or show you that the friendship wasn’t
right for you. The worst part of getting hurt is the realization that both of you and your friend are
fallible. Sometimes we dream that everything is perfect, and getting hurt shakes us back to
reality.
Once we touchdown, we may land hard. Being vulnerable can take its toll physically.
Some teens experience body sensations that may vary from tightness in chest, insomnia, and
cramps to nausea and diarrhea. Many people have specific areas of their body that react to
emotional stress. Gastrointestinal, urinary, respiratory, or muscular disorders may flare up briefly
– or persist until they become chronic.
In some cases, vulnerability may produce psychological disorders. It is normal to feel
anxious, apprehensive, or frightened after being rejected, but sometimes self-confidence and self-
acceptance can be so undermined that self-doubt and self-hatred are created. Or feelings of
undesirability and inferiority – of falsely believing there is something wrong with you – may
arise.
What is more likely to happen is that a feeling of vulnerability may make avoid becoming
involved in new relationships. The thought of starting all over after being rejected is terrifying
because there is always the fear of being hurt again. Your pride may be so shattered that you vow
never to get involved with anyone again. But you should. And you almost always do.
Accompanying these thoughts of inadequacy are frustration and anger. Such feelings are
normal and should be expressed, rather than suppressed. If you deny your hurt and bury your
feelings, you may be in for big trouble. Ulcers, headaches, colitis, and allergies sometimes occur
when you fail to deal with emotional conflicts. Not liking yourself is a bad feeling, and over a
long period, it can manifest itself in physical symptoms.
Even if you don’t experience physical symptoms, it will probably take you longer to
overcome your pain if you stifle your dismay and disappointment. Also, you are more likely to
explode at the wrong time and for the wrong reasons when you have failed to come to terms with
your feelings.
Some teens react to rejection by trying to make everyone else seem responsible for their
hurt – everyone except themselves. But if they are at fault, they are likely to repeat their faulty
behaviour in subsequent relationships. Others use rejection as an excuse in indulge in self-pity –
especially when it brings them attention. Some teens end up suspicious of others and relate only
on a superficial level.
HOW TO HANDLE YOUR ANGER

When social motives are not satisfied, anger results. Some social motives are the need to
succeed, to be the best, etc.
Learning modifies the way that anger is expressed; one time he may fight and in another
he may use ugly language, or he may just leave the room. Anger causes a person to “lose his
temper”.
What is anger?
Anger is the flash of rage you feel when a child defies you or a lover betrays a trust. It’s the slow
burn at injustice, at violent crime or venal politicians. Anger may look like a sulk, a burst of
temper, the merest flicker of a frown. Or it may be scarcely visible: the remark not made and the
hand not raised, but the face unnaturally pale.

“Can I control my anger?
The answer is a resounding yes and a resounding no. Yes, it’s possible to control showing your
anger and a good thing too. Most of us do not chew out the policeman as he’s writing us a ticket,
or talk back to the boss unless we have a job offer elsewhere. We learn to mask anger at an early
age and get good at it, often without even being aware that we are doing it.
But we can’t control our feelings. Feelings come and go; the pattern they make, which
are evident in our behaviour, conscious and unconscious, illustrate who we are.
Although you can’t eliminate your feelings, you can temper them through acceptance.
Recognizing and understanding why you feel what you feel is the first step toward mastering
unruly emotion. I was once jealous and angry when a dear friend married.
In an ideal world our awareness of anger would slip easily in and out of our experience. It
would remind us where we draw our idiosyncratic lines, give us a push, warn us away from
dangers, fire us up for action. Feelings would ebb and flow. Nervously I stand before an
audience, speaking calmly, until a heckler interrupts from the back of the room. I n a flash I lose
my stage fright and glare him down. Anger has rushed to my defense; I feel a ripple of relief, and
break the tension with a joke. The audience laugh with me, and with pleasure heightened by the
tingle of nervous tension, I return to the subject of my speech. I sit down to the applause. Loose-
limbed, I relax. I am myself – a thinking, feeling, sensing person.
Of all our feelings, anger is perhaps the quickest, the least likely to mesh with how we’d
like to see ourselves, how we’d like to appear.
The roots of anger, the measure of its intensity, go back to childhood, when we were
doubtless punished for it, or believed we should or might be.
CONTROL YOUR TEMPER

A temper that’s allowed to burst out in the wrong way at the wrong time and before the
wrong people can make the difference between a happy life and a thoroughly miserable one. In
the process, you destroy friendships, lose boyfriends, wreck relationships with teachers, and
make life with the parents at home more hassle than it normally is.
And that can be just the beginning. Unless anger is understood and managed properly, it
can accumulate inside and cause a wide range of ailments. Feelings of suppressed anger can not
only play havoc on our nervous system but produce certain chemical changes in the body. Then
we became candidates for such physical and emotional problems as severe headaches, stomach
disorders, skin eruptions, exhaustion, nervous upsets and depression.
Often, repressed rage will worsen existing problems such as asthma, backache and colitis,
a common inflammation of the large intestine. In extreme cases, when enough hidden anger is
stored up, an individual may become so acutely depressed that suicide is a possibility. When
hostility becomes so deep-seated, professional help is needed to bring it to the surface.

THE KEYS TO CONTROL
Is a show of temper, like bad breath, something to avoid at all cost? Not at all. Honest ire,
like a sensible amount of fear, is not only natural but a necessary thing in your life.
But if you’re blowup-prone, perceiving the temper problem in this light may make you
squirm a little. But it will also help you understand what’s happening in those mysterious
labyrinths of your emotions. And understanding is the first step in coping.
How, then, can you try to control that temper? Experts in human behaviour suggest you
follow these key rules, which can help you keep reasonable control.
1. Watch your personal pressure gauge to make sure steam isn’t building up inside.
Are you accumulating a good hate against anyone or anything when you become aware
tensions are piling up?
One way is to talk the problem out with a close friend, teacher, anybody you trust. But
it’s much better to go right to the source. A discussion with parents, bosses, or friends, where
you explain what’s bothering you and in turn listen to their side, can help ease the friction and
even remove it entirely long before the flash point is reached.
Talking-out sessions are especially important in the home, where parents and young
people, feeling themselves unable to bridge an ever-widening chasm, remain silent, permitting
frustrations to reach danger levels. Candid discussion before emotion has overcome reason can
help both sides see each other’s viewpoints more clearly.
2. Avoid situations that irritate you.
When you faced with a scene that you feel could lead to an explosion, simply walk
away. Make a quick excuse, say anything, but leave the field of potential combat.
If you can’t leave physically, withdraw figuratively. If you feel the anger rising, turn your
thoughts elsewhere for at least ten seconds. Thing of a sunset, a child on a skateboard, a second
hand moving on a clock – anything that’s as different as possible from the situation
3. If you’re already mad and getting madder, siphon off the rage harmlessly.
Anger is like dynamite – useful but dangerous. Knowing how to keep it where it belongs,
using it properly, and releasing it harmlessly, when necessary, can save you woe you neither
need nor want.
CONFLICT AND STRESS

Our motives are not easily satisfied, obstacles must be overcome, choices must be made,
and disappointments tolerated. Each of us develops characteristics ways of responding to
attempts to block our goals. These blockages are referred to as frustration or stress.
Frustration occurs when progress toward a desired goal is blocked or delayed. Our
present-day traffic jams, crowded lines at the market, economic crises, natural calamities such as
flood and typhoons – these are obstacles or restrictions in the environment imposed upon people.
Sometimes these barriers stem from our own limitations, such as physical handicaps, or goals
that are too far beyond the scope of the ability of a person.

Conflict. When two motives conflict, the satisfaction of one leads to the frustration of the
other. Most conflicts involve goals that are simultaneously desirable and undesirable – both
positive and negative. Candy is delicious but fattening. Going to the movie is fun, but losing
study time can produce low grades. A person confronted with a goal that is at once attractive and
dangerous may hesitate while trying to decide what to do.
Approach and avoidance conflicts – this type indicates that the two motives operate somewhat
differently. The closer you get to an attractive object, the stronger is your tendency to approach
it: the closer you get to something unpleasant or fearful, the stronger you urge to run away. This
happens with couples who break up. Away from each other, negative feelings are reduced; close
to each other, negative feelings drive them apart. Once the ambivalence is recognized, their
attempts at reconciliation become understandable.
DEFENSE MECHANISMS
This refers to unconscious processes that defend a person against anxiety by distorting
reality in some way. These strategies do not change the condition, they simply change the way
the person sees or thinks about them. Thus, all defense mechanisms involve self-deception. They
involve some sort of a mechanical device.
Some of these are:
 1. Denial – when an external reality is too unpleasant to face, an individual may deny that
it exists. Denying facts may be better than facing them. When a much-loved child of a
parent dies, the parent may pretend that the child is still very much alive. Or where the
child is very sick, the parent may pretend that nothing is wrong.
 2. Repression – this is a defense against internal threat. Memories that are too threatening
are excluded from conscious awareness. Cases of amnesia illustrate some aspects of
repression.
 3. Rationalization – it is the assignment of logical motives to what we do, so that we
seem to have acted properly. We reach for a “good” reason rather than a “true” reason;
making up of excuses that are usually plausible but do not tell the whole story.
 4. Projection – this protects us from recognizing our own undesirable qualities by
assigning them to other people. You cheat because other people do so. You are cruel to
other people because people around you are cruel and unkind.
Stress. Some stress are necessary for an individual to function normally. When life is
peaceful and quite, people tend to become bored and seek excitement. In times of stress, people
tend to resort to behaviour patterns that have worked in the past. The cautious become more
cautious and withdraw entirely; the aggressive person may lose control.
` Stress is directly related to having an ulcer or a hole in the lining of the stomach. This is
due to excessive amounts of hydrochloric acid secreted when under stress. Stress is also related

to heart failure. Pressure to achieve, combined with an underlying general hostility, are
considered to be the characteristics most likely to contribute to heart disease.
The personality characteristics of stress-resistant individuals are summarized by the terms
commitment, control, and challenge. Commitment to relationships with other people provides
social support in times of stress. The sense of being in control of life’s events reflects feelings of
competency and also influences the way by which stressful events are appraised. On the other
hand, stress can be a forceful challenge to achieve more in life.
Stress affects not only the actual functioning of body systems but also the ore subtle
process of aging. It is difficult for a worries, anxious person to look beautiful or to be efficient,
no matter how well she may have developed her potential. We can control the effects of stress
through relaxation exercises – mental and physical – which help unwind the tension. A regular
period of time spent alone in quiet, or even a more formal time for meditation, can sustain health
– and reduce wrinkles. Take the time to stop and be still, to relax, and grow beautiful within.
STRESS BUSTING
1. Make Lists – using a support network is a great way to manage the stress of a wedding.
Get together with a group of girlfriends who have ‘been there’, ‘done that’ and talk
openly about your concerns. You’ll feel a lot more comfortable.
2. Breathe Deeply – activities that involve deep breathing can help you achieve a state
profound rest. The mind is then more alert and your potential for creativity is greater.
3. Blow off steam – Laughter, exercise, music, massage, sleep and even crying all ways to
relieve stress
4. Confront your stressors – talk and think through what you’re feeling or you’ll end up
treating the symptoms, not their cause.
5. Ease your spine – one of the great stress-relieving yoga poses is the simple child pose. On
a mat or carpeted floor, kneel, sit back on your heels and bring your forehead to the floor
in front of your knees, letting your arms relax beside you with your hands near your feet.
Breathe normally.
6. Use visualization – if an anxiety attack comes on, picture a simple image such as that of
tranquil ocean. Focus on it until you can perceive the details completely.
7. Count it out – close your eyes, focus on your breathing, and tap each finger from one to
ten.
8. Be a diplomat – criticism and controlling advice from relatives and friends can lead to
guilt, resentment or anger.
9. Get your zzzs – anxiety leads to insomnia, which leads to further anxiety. Avoid
stimulants such as coffee, chocolate, tea, sugar and exercise within three hours of
bedtime.
10. Take it in stride – don’t expect perfection on the big day. Have helpers on hand to deal
with any problems and try to go with the flow.

SUMMARY
1. Focus on happy, beautiful thoughts.
2. Cultivate a positive attitude.
3. Develop the spiritual side of your nature.
4. Reserve some time for quiet meditation.
5. Develop relaxation skills.
6. Recognize that physical health affects mental health – be sure to provide your body with
adequate nutrition, exercise, and rest.
7. Seek professional counselling if your problems are too much for you to handle alone.
EXERCISE FOR INNER BEAUTY

(Meditation Exercise)
1. Relaxation
Find apposition in which you can be relaxed and alert at the same time. Close your eyes.
Take three deep breathes and let them out slowly, breathing out all tightness and worry,
breathing in peace and well-being. Take a few moments to experience your physical
sensations your feelings, and your thoughts. As you move your attention to the thoughts
entering your mind, do not dwell on any one. Look at the thought as if you were an
uninterested spectator and then dismiss it. When the next thought enters, treat it in the
same way. Continue to this until you feel that you have gained some control at being able
to push thoughts away. Imagine them carried off on the wing of a butterfly.
2. Receptivity
Now that your active mind is becoming still, you can contact your inner voice, that place
within you can suggest answers to your questions with honesty and wisdom. It may be
found in many ways and in many different forms. Usually it speaks images or impression
may be fleeting, it is wise to note the answer as soon as you receive it, either by making a
brief sketch or by jotting down a word or phrase that will later call it to mind.
As you speak to your inner voice, await receptively and patiently the response that
will arise from the place of knowing within you. As you wait, visualize a rosebud slowly
opening and developing into a full blossom, flowering in your mind. Trust whatever
response comes and then let the image subside as you prepare to ask other questions.
Questions can be answered generally, or applied specifically to a relationship, life
decision, or any other challenging situation.
3. Reflection
During some relaxation periods, you will not have any questions. In these cases serenity
and inspiration will be your goals. Follow steps one and two for relaxation and insight
and the focus on something of beauty. If nothing at hand satisfies, study a candle in your
mind’s eye. Imagine the changing size and color of the flame. Gradually, wonderful,
loving, and serene thoughts will come to you – such an experience is an inner beauty
treatment that will not long remain hidden inside.
4. Responsibility
. As you continue to increase your intuitive ability by practicing Relaxation, Receptivity,
and Reflection, you will develop inner qualities that will help you achieve goals that, in
the past, may have been difficult, or impossible, to attain. However, once the path to that
goal opens up for you, it is your responsibility to commit yourself to following that path.
As the first step in this process, make a commitment to do something specific –
something you know you can do – and commit yourself to it for a limited amount of time.
Once you have made the commitment, record it and pin it up as a reminder. Begin the
statement with “I choose to” and then complete it with your commitment. You may wish
to include a sketch of one of the images you have received on your “reminder card”, to
inspire you and strengthen your resolve as you accept the responsibility of fulfilling it. As
you practice your commitment, notice the effect in has on your life. When the limit you
have set is over, repeat the process again, using another commitment – perhaps an even
longer one. In this way, you will always be actively accepting responsibility for your own
growth.
This meditation exercises is a habit of “looking into yourself” regularly. Self-knowledge

is not an end in itself, but rather a means to communicating with others. Knowing what
you want and think and feel will give you a great understanding of and compassion

REVIEW QUESTIONS
1. Explain Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
2. How do you handle hurt feelings?
3. How do you control your temper?
4. When does conflict take place?
5. What are some defense mechanisms? Explain
6. What is stress and how do you cope with it?



Personality Development Module 1

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Republic of the Philippines

NORTHERN ILOILO POLYTECHNIC STATE COLLEGE

Learning outcomes: upon completion of this module you shall be able to

FACTORS THAT MADE YOU WHAT YOU ARE NOW

MAKE YOUR IMAGE FIT YOUR ASPIRATIONS

(Your essay will be evaluated using the following criteria)

Total score: 20 points

NIPSC-SOM-BSBA 1st Semester A.Y. 2020-2021|PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT 4

Learning outcomes: upon completion of this module you shall be able to

PERSONALITY is one of the major qualifications given as a major requirement.

NIPSC-SOM-BSBA 1st Semester A.Y. 2020-2021|PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT 5

Personality may be defined as the SUM TOTAL OF THE QUALITIES AND

WHAT ARE THE COMPONENTS OF PERSONALITY?

NIPSC-SOM-BSBA 1st Semester A.Y. 2020-2021|PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT 6

HOW PERSONALITY IS REVEALED

WHY IS THE STUDY OF PERSONALITY IMPORTANT?

NIPSC-SOM-BSBA 1st Semester A.Y. 2020-2021|PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT 7

TECHNIQUES IN IMPROVING PERSONALITY

In improving anything, there are usually four steps to follow:

1. Realize that improvement is needed.

FACING YOUR WORLD

CREATING YOUR VISUAL STATEMENT

The purpose of a Visual Statement is:

TAKING CENTER STAGE

DEFINING BEAUTY IN MEN AND WOMEN

NIPSC-SOM-BSBA 1st Semester A.Y. 2020-2021|PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT 11

To think beautiful is to be beautiful.

NIPSC-SOM-BSBA 1st Semester A.Y. 2020-2021|PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT 12

Answer the following questions:

(Your essay will be evaluated using the following criteria)

Total score: 20 points

Reference: PERSONALITY For Today’s Young Professional (Third Edition)

NIPSC-SOM-BSBA 1st Semester A.Y. 2020-2021|PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT 13

Learning outcomes: upon completion of this module you shall be able to

Ask yourself the following questions:

 Has my body size, weight, height, proportion changed?

1. Economic level – is he rich or poor? Is he working or unemployed?

ASSEMBLING A BASIC WARDROBE

NIPSC-SOM-BSBA 1st Semester A.Y. 2020-2021|PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT 18

YOUR SEARCH FOR STYLE

DRESSING FOR THE OCCASION

 Dress properly to befit the occasion

NIPSC-SOM-BSBA 1st Semester A.Y. 2020-2021|PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT 19

NIPSC-SOM-BSBA 1st Semester A.Y. 2020-2021|PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT 20

SHOPPING TRAPS TO AVOID

NIPSC-SOM-BSBA 1st Semester A.Y. 2020-2021|PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT 21

YOUR COLOR SPECTRUM

Combinations of colors are:

1. Monochromatic – this color combination results in the

1. BEIGE – Your best beige is the color of your skin.

THE MEANING OF COLOR

Light Red – represents joy, sexuality, passion, sensitivity and love.

Brown – suggests stability and denotes masculine qualities.

NIPSC-SOM-BSBA 1st Semester A.Y. 2020-2021|PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT 23

Dark orange – can mean deceit and distrust

NIPSC-SOM-BSBA 1st Semester A.Y. 2020-2021|PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT 24

Dark green – is associated with ambition, green and jealousy.

Dark blue – represents knowledge, power, integrity and seriousness

According to surveys, almost 75 percent of pre-adolescent children prefer purple to all

NIPSC-SOM-BSBA 1st Semester A.Y. 2020-2021|PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT 25

Light purple – evokes romantic and nostalgic feelings.

BASICS: SPEND A LITTLE OR A LOT