The Paradoxical World of an Illegal Immigrant

NO EXIT
A Three Acts Play

with complete production notes
DR. TAIMUR KAYANI

Edited by
Dr. Muhammad Rizwan Junaid
AURAQ
2021 Dr. Taimur Kayani
January, 2021
Edition: 1st
978-969-749-067-7
Rs 8,00 PKR, $8 US
Cover Design & Muhammad Fawad Noori
Creative Director ( www.fadnoori.com)
AURAQ
PUBLICATIONS
ISLAMABAD, PAKISTAN
raabta@auraqpublications.com | +92-300-0571-530
www.auraqpublications.com | @AuraqPublications
ISBN : 978-969-749-067-7
Printed and Bound by Passive Printers - www.passiveprinters.com
When I encounter
The land of unfulfilled desires and hopeless expectations
I cannot bear to look that way I tell myself I must flee
Escape where hopes and desires are joyous luxuries
Not the detritus of broken lives
“Land of Unfulfilled Desires”

[FAIZ AHMAD FAIZ]
No Exit
Praise about the Play - NO EXIT
1. No Exit may be Dr. Taimur Kayani’s first play but he is not

new to the world of theatre. His PhD was on “Politics of
indigenizing Brecht by Ajoka theatre in Pakistan”. He has
utilized his theatre awareness and stay in Malaysia as a doctoral
student at the Universiti Putra Malaysia coupled with the
dilemmas faced by those who stick between the love of their
motherland and struggle for survival.
Interestingly, the most fascinating character in the play is Laali a
pigeon. (Kabootar), a powerful metaphor rooted in Pakistani
cultural ethos. Being a bird, the Kabootar does not need visas
and can cross the boundaries at will; unlike the central character
of the play (Mujtaba), who seems stuck in the hands of groove,
dodging immigration authorities, loan sharks and ex- girlfriends.
His multi- faith romances indicate that religion becomes
irrelevant when physical survival is at stake (Geeta, Susana
Jones & Susana Jackson). He loves his family and the memories
associated with the homeland; not knowing how things have
changed, the family has become greedy and the society
materialistic and narrow minded. The question asked is that if he
cannot stay in his adopted land, where should he go? Back to
homeland or forward to elusive land of immigrants, Australia.
Dr. Kayani is a native Punjabi- speaker but has written the play
in excellent English, making it accessible to all those who are
moving from one country to the other, chases by the police and
memories.(Shahid Nadeem, Director & Writer, Ajoka
Theatre)
2. Taimur’s stage directions for the play, NO EXIT, are a
marvel of invention and display his dramatic imagination at full
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Dr. Taimur Kayani
stretch. (Dr. Rosli Bin Talif, Universiti Putra Malaysia)

3. In NO EXIT, sex and religion, betrayal and immigration laws
are intertwined with psychological and social forces operating in
the play. (Ahmad Mujtaba, GIFT University)
4. — A new, exciting and daring play for mature audience
(Tahir Malik, Senior journalist, G news TV channel)
5. Stellar, Compelling art of characterization......... (Dr. Saqib
Mehmood, Head of the Department of English, GIFT
University.
6. Dr. Kayani is a playwright who knows his craft and has un-
usual understanding of the tangled loyalties of human being
(Dr. Muhammad Rizwan, Pakistan Institute of Management,
Lahore.)
7. A comparison between life of an illegal immigrant, Mujtaba
and a racing pigeon, Laali is mind-blowing yet is so captivating.
Dr. Taimur Kayani’s creativity must be acknowledged and
appreciated. (Dr. Ahmer Mehboob, University of Sydney).
8. This play can change Pakistani theatre forever ......... (Afzaal
Nabi, Director of Manto Sey Milye (Meet with Manto )
9. This play will take you on a roller coaster ride from start to
finish. (Dr. Farukh Khan, LUMS University, Pakistan).
10. I feel that this play will greatly influence the public opinion
on illegal immigration both in Pakistan and across the world.
(Dr. Zahid Yaseen, Government College University for
Women, Sialkot).
11- A play with a great social cause and insight into illegal
immigration! Dr. Kayani persuasively explores the adjustments
and frustrations of illegal immigration. (Sahar Farooqi, Chief
operating Officer, Roshni Homes, Gujranwala).
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No Exit
12- Taimur Kayani has a non-commonplace gift for writing

about common people. I never read such a powerful play on
illegal immigration. (Dr. Arbaayah Ali Termizi, Universiti
Putra Malaysia)
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Dr. Taimur Kayani
NO EXIT
Dr. Taimur Kayani is the director of International Language

Centre at GIFT University, Pakistan. He has done PhD in
English Literature with specialization in Drama and Theatre
from Universiti Putra Malaysia. As an Assistant Professor in
Department of English, he also teaches and celebrates both
modern and classical drama and takes keen interest in South
Asian English Literature. His PhD dissertation is on Ajoka
Theatre’s adaptations of Brecht’s selected work in Pakistan. On
weekends, you can easily find him on the premises of Ajoka
Theatre learning, creating and watching plays. He advocates the
use of drama and theatre in the Language teaching. He takes
ardent interest in Film and TV production. He has directed
several documentaries and short films for film festivals around
the world. He has also received the Best International Student
Award from Mercer College, USA for undergraduate program.
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No Exit
His next writing project is a book, titled, Modern Urdu Theatre:

Adaptations, Transformations and Directions. He has
participated in many international and national conferences
highlighting the issues regarding migration, dictatorship and
adaptation of western literature in Pakistan. For further
information on his creative and research work visit the website:
www.drtaimurkayani.com
9
Dr. Taimur Kayani
FOREWORD
THE PARADOXICAL WORLD OF AN ILLEGAL
IMMIGRANT
Malaysia is a magnet for illegal migrant workers from countries

like Indonesia, Nepal, Bangladesh and Pakistan; due to ease in
getting jobs and largely lax immigration enforcement. However,
within last year, almost 50,000 illegal immigrants were arrested
in series of crackdown and raids, detained in jails across
Malaysia and finally deported to the land of their origin. But
their numbers are still on a rise!
Interestingly, on economic front, manufacturing sector and small
businesses in developed countries thrive on their hard work and
take advantage of their vulnerable and isolated lives. Beyond
work, their acute loneliness encounters many inward and
outward conflicts. Both displaced and marginalized, fear and
hope takes turns with sky rocketing speed in their bodies and
souls. This interplay between hope and fear brings havoc and
instability in their personal relationships and social ties.
However, pivotal reasons behind living a life under such a threat
and danger are complex and need re-assessment. Their demise is
related to both myth of success and myth of sacrifice produced
by our cruel capitalist societies.
In Pakistani context, an emerging capitalist society proudly
markets materialism first and then popularizes the myth of
success to let its youth go abroad legally or illegally. Majority of
Pakistanis still believe that in foreign countries money grows on
trees and all of you have to do is to pluck it and plug it.
Similarly, a myth of sacrifice highlighted by our beloved state to
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No Exit
the millions of overseas Pakistanis needs to be re-examined. It

asserts that sending money to the loved ones would have multi-
fold benefits. First, it would change the lives of their relatives at
home and then it would increase foreign reserves of their
beloved country. Usually both of these myths die when
immigrants spend their first decade of their lives abroad.
However, for people, living back home, these both myths remain
vibrant and fresh.
I have tried to open the paradox of these two myths about illegal
immigration with the help of the character, Mujtaba, who
although caught in a vicious cycle of illegal immigration is still
courageous enough to fight tirelessly to find his true identity in
his divided inner self. In No Exit, his inner journey is exciting
and funny; paradoxical and tragic in nature. The naughty red
pigeon, Laali and his strict mother, Nasreen Bibi are the key
constituents of his past, companions of his hidden world and thus
becomes his inner divided self in a distant land...crying out loud
inside him. No Exit is a long journey into his cryptic world. Laali
acts both as friend and foe, constantly challenges his playboy’s
perspective on life. With the sudden presence of his strict mother
in the decision making phase on which way to go, the present
becomes blur with past. Ironically, Pakistan still lives in him, in
his taste and blood and yet he is on a run with his white tennis
joggers on! What’s going on!
Unfortunately, once stamped as Illegal his available choices are
very limited but his burning desires are still unlimited, both
dangerous and wild. He struggles to make sense of his existence
and demons of discontent brewing inside. As a man of inflated
ideas (and stomach), he embarks on an endless journey in a new
world against a background of escalating immigration raids and
intense inner conflicts. Locked in complex situations that offer
no simple solutions in a foreign world, how he can keep balance
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Dr. Taimur Kayani
between his unstable choices and unlimited desires in pursuit of

happiness is worth exploring and examining through theatre.
Within these complex situations, under acute stress, Illegal
immigrants lose control of the boundaries between fantasy and
reality, confusing the role they are playing with their real lives.
The two merge to the extent that they have trouble untangling
them. In a nutshell, they identify with the role they have assumed
to the extent that they are unable to return comfortably to their
real self. This is the wrenching dilemmas faced by illegal
immigrant in a morally free world. As a writer, I have taken that
‘silence’ out of this wrenching dilemma and make it a scream on
stage.
For last four years, as a PhD student in Malaysia, I have met
many Mujtabas at subway stations, restaurants and sometimes in
red light area of Kualalumpur. All amazed me with their mind
blowing stories. However, at night their stories haunted me. On
weekends, when I enjoyed the care and comfort of my family
and friends, I thought about their loneliness and stress. It is hard
to live with their stories because they made me cry from inside
and quiet at outside. I slept with them at night but it seems
morning now and I am awake. In No Exit, I have tried my level
best to depict with a deep understanding, the tragedy and pathos
of their dark lives, their rare smiles and unceasing sorrows, their
frustrations and hopes.
People ask me whose story is more powerful, Mujtaba’s or
Laali’s. I don’t know! They both come one by one on the screen
of my memory and imagination. Their story carries images of
aloneness and fantasy, courage and desire which unfortunately,
all end up in tragedy. In class room space, whenever I discuss
Greek tragedy, I feel the voice of a pigeon’s flight in my ears. In
my imaginations, Laali sits on my right shoulder and whispers,
Dr. Sahib, tell my story too! I shrug my shoulders and feel
12
No Exit
embarrassed but that’s way it is. Unlike Mujtaba, Laali is too

committed to tell the tragic story of his life. In evenings,
whenever, I see a pigeon fly high in the sky, I always think of
Laali. I simply can’t take my eyes off him till his image vanishes
off.
To tell their stories, I have used Pakistani English for the local
readers so they can connect easily. For international audience, to
generate better understanding, I have provided the foot notes. I
have written production notes for the theatres who would like to
perform this play on the stage. For me as a writer, the most
significant thing is that the desperate voice of these marginalized
people would showcase on the stage around the world. In writing
NO EXIT, actually I have brought them on stage so that they can
speak directly to you as audience. Rest is silence.
DR TAIMUR KAYANI
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Dr. Taimur Kayani
ACKNOWLEDEMENTS
My special thanks go to Shahid Nadeem at Ajoka Theatre for

first suggesting and then helping to shape this theatrical project.
He is a great mentor and source of inspiration. Additionally, my
Salutation goes to Dr. Shehzaib Khan for his patience and
immensely helpful editorial suggestions. I am also grateful to the
Dr. Rosli Bin Talif and Dr. Arbaayah Ali Termizi of Universiti
Putra Malaysia, who read the manuscript at its final stage, and to
the students and colleagues at GIFT University, Pakistan, whose
responses to play script over the past year have helped me refine
and develop it.
Muhammad Fawad Noori, Creative Director of NO EXIT and
Assistant Professor in Fashion and design department at GIFT
University has contributed a lot. Firstly, in designing the cover,
then critical reviewing the dress code of the characters. He is
currently busy in designing the costumes for the cast of the play.
Dr. Saqib Mehmood, Head of the English department; Ahmad
Mujtaba, the coordinator, scheduled my teaching load in that
ways that I kept my sharp focus alive on the project. I am more
than thankful to my dear friend, brother and neighbor; Dr.
Muhammad Rizwan Junaid who has given his best to edit and
finalize the core draft before final publication.
Finally, Ustaad Saleem, who shared his vast knowledge on
pigeon racing and enormous challenges, surrounded it during my
several visits to his pigeon lofts in Gujranwala.
I also appreciate the professional and creative environment
provided by the top management at the GIFT University,
especially, Mr. Anwar Daar, the visionary Chairman and Dr.
Faheem-ul- Islam, the dynamic Rector of the University. They
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No Exit
both encouraged me to the core to finish this project on illegal

migration. To understand the psychological dilemmas of the
illegal immigrants, I must appreciate the distinguish psychologist
and educationist, Dr. Asir Ajmal who took keen interest in the
issue and provided me his valuable insights on it.
My mother, Nasreen Kayani; wife, Imrana Mehar and my two
little children, Fiona and Ahmad, kept me going and bear the
loss of my company and never complained while I was away in
conducting research for this creative project.
Here, I also acknowledge the generous funding provided by the
Pakistani Professionals and businesses syndicate Australia
(PPBSA) for this creative endeavor. With their continued
support, this play will be performed in Sydney, Australia in
October, 2021. I also appreciate that they have already extended
their full support for my upcoming novel and movie, Laali,
based on the issue of illegal immigration in England.
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Dr. Taimur Kayani
PROLOGUE
The first memory of Dr. Kayani is imprinted on canvas of my

mind. A December morning and he was attired gracefully with
wearing his signature broad smile on his face which
unintentionally exudes positivity. An important part of my life
saw its culmination phase that too with taking pride that with his
due credit in shaping my mental faculties with his deep delved
knowledge. The genesis of becoming creative, avid reader and
ardent learner comes from by looking up to Dr. Kayani’s love for
Literature.
Coming back to "No Exit" as Dr. Sahib needs whole new book to
be penned by me. It can’t be summarized in few lines. No Exit
showed his immense love for theatre and he equally paid back to
his love for Ajoka Theatre by writing this play. Dr. Sahib has
great writing prowess and dexterity. I will truly confess that I
read the play twice. A person likes me who is very sensitive to
nostalgia. It really engulfed me. It seemed as if I am once again
in Graduation days reading Ahmed Ali's Twilight in Delhi
through the lens of Mir Nihal and this time through his
Protagonist Mujtaba.
No Exit is no less than myriad understanding of Identity crisis. I
never understood Identity crisis this much clear from Pakistani
perspective profuse with so much acute observation. Like Dr. sb.
himself, I am in love with Laali. We all witness Mujtaba on
crossroads of our lives who leave endless repercussions. I
witnessed Malaysian aura alive through his stroke of pen. The
Malaysian sky “and birds correcting their paths during sunset"
shows his sheer adroitness for the knowledge about pigeons. At
times, I too longed to meet Ustaad Saleem, whom Dr. Sahib
thanked for giving knowledge about pigeon lofts.
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No Exit
No Exit is well articulated by a man who invested four years of

his life to "Eat Drama, drink Drama” and here you masterpiece
with lucid language and bringing home the bacon with such
mastery. The diction is simple and colloquial which keeps us
hooked. The curiosity for turning to next page kept the
momentum high to throng last page.
Mujtaba and Laali will always stay fresh in my memory because,
not for a moment they bored me to death as usually our writers
keep beating about the bush in their lengthy writings. It’s
compact and coherent like beads of a necklace joined together.
Language is epitome of any writing. The desi cult was evident
throughout whole play making us understand that the writer
loves his culture, carries that in his writings as well. So close, as
clean as ultramarine Jhelum waters. I felt the pangs of Pain of
Mujtaba, like him thousands of Mujtaba are out of native lands
in "pursuit of happiness and livelihood but their weariness is
never ending on their faces". Yes, sometimes it comes to an end,
jolting the struggling and death looming on their heads takes
them to their final abodes. The contemporary world at this very
moment have plethora of Mujtabas. Thanks! Dr. Sahib for giving
us this engaging but poignant read. He added a new feather in his
cap already full of awards and rewards, paid back to Theatre in
Pakistan and let us breathe Malaysian air.
I wish him best of luck for his future endeavors and for keeping
the true spirit of Theatre alive through his musings. Waiting for
another alluring piece of work!
NIDA CHUHAN
Senior Lecturer, Department of English
University of Sialkot
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Dr. Taimur Kayani
List of Characters
MUJTABA/ HADEV/MICHAEL: The protagonist of the play

with multiple names and identities. A young and energetic man
with illegal status in Malaysia; uses multiple names to hide his
true identity, isolated but highly smart and a fighter. He is a
playboy character that is always looking for lustful opportunities.
LAALI: A racing red pigeon, inner but divided self of Mujtaba,
acts as a self-imposed advisor who constantly challenges the
playboy’s perspective of protagonist on life yet also provides
moral support in difficult times.
MAA: The old aged mother of Mujtaba, highly strict, preaches

moral values and reflects Mujtaba’s past in a distant land.
FATHER JOHNNY: Funny, self-indulged, womanizer and

head of a local church in Malaysia. He views religious
conversion as financial and profitable enterprise.
LEE COCK: Lively and highly wise Judge with a witty humor.
SUSANA JONES: Hypocrite and commercial minded person,
event manager and special assistant to Father Johnny
SUSANA JACKSON: One of the Christian girlfriends of
Mujtaba, artificial and highly insecure. Keen to use Mujtaba for
financial and sexual benefits.
GEORGE: An Opportunist, supervisor of the cleaning crew.

CHIMA: Another illegal immigrant, submissive and confused
personality, in early 20s, friend of Mujtaba, arrived in Malaysia
last year.
MALIK: Antagonist, shrewd, an opportunist, a lethal source of
promoting illegal immigration in Malaysia, immigration agent
par excellence.
18
No Exit
SHEEDA TELI: A Pigeon expert, an aspirant for illegal

immigration in Malaysia, childhood friend of Mujtaba at home,
highly selfish.
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Dr. Taimur Kayani
Production Notes for Stage Design and Direction
1) The play starts in an urban space of a working- class

restaurant in Malaysia. It is suggested that the set should
reflect the tropical environment through presence of a palm
tree, Malaysian big fan and flag, cloudy sky; casual dressing
suitable for hot weather and same goes with the staff
working in a working-class restaurant. Since it is a working
class restaurant, there is no hope of tips for the waiters and
that’s why it is assumed that they are also rude to the
customers.
2) It is suggested that the stage is divided into four acting areas.
All the action moves without any set changes between the
scenes. A) The first area has a table and a chair with a
display of a restaurant. B) The second area occupying the
central portion of the stage is a church C) The third area is of
courtroom. D) The fourth area is of Airport
Restaurant Church Court Room Airport
Diagram: Stage Setting for No Exit

3) The role of light is highly significant in staging this play.
The spotlight can be fixed only to the area represented in the
Act. Such as in Act one, only restaurant area is lit, then court
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No Exit
and then church and finally the airport area is spotlighted in

the last scene.
4) However, the area of performance on the stage should be
dimly lit after the first scene.
5) The play starts in the late afternoon and ends in the early
morning which should be evident when the door opens in
different scene, and the light has changed outside.
6) The protagonist, Mujtaba, should have a playboy look in
dressing and in facial expressions. Although, he changes his
attire according to different situations as a fugitive but
always wears white joggers which highlights that he is on a
run and moving from one area to another in order to escape
and find safe refuge.
7) After the first scene at the restaurant, the realistic mood
should be changed to a surrealistic one.
8) When Laali [as an inner and divided self of Mujtaba] joins
him on a road, participates in trail court and argues with him
in the Catholic Church, the acting style and the light should
convey the change in the mood. The voice of character
playing Mujtaba can be recorded with a slight difference in
pitch and in a sober tone but it should convey that they are
the voices of the same person.
9) The character of mother represents the past of Mujtaba’s life
in a distant land. The presence of mother is more of fairy
like. The mannerism and clothes wearing by mother have a
cultural significance in the play’s context. The valise she
carries is tied with the string painted with Pakistani flag
colors. She is simple yet strict and her body language of
typical Punjabi mother of a small town is highlighted here.
For example, she wears simple Shalwar qameez and
straights her dupata on her head whenever she discusses
religion. Again Mujtaba’s voice with different pitch and
tone can be recorded.
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Dr. Taimur Kayani
10) There is close symbolic connection between a racing red

pigeon and illegal immigrant drawn in this play. Both travel
to far distances in order to find their true homes yet
unfortunately, both have a low survival rate. Majority of the
racing red pigeons are usually eaten up by the wild eagles
and illegal immigrant are finally caught and deported to their
homes to face endless trails. For example, Amir’s
appearance should be shown as a racing pigeon landed on
foreign courtyard, wearing red cap, looking scared and
confused yet noteworthy.
A folk song and music of Wasta-e-Rub da tu jaween way
kabootra can be played in background to highlight
Mujtaba’s romantic connection to his past and land of birth.
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No Exit
Production Notes for Costumes:

Muhammad Fawad Noori (Creative Director)
Dr. Taimur Kayani is the writer and director of play NO EXIT;
according to his description of Character (Mujtaba) who is the
leading character of play, who always dresses up casually but in
very unique styling.
As Creative Director, I am responsible for the visual appearance
of the actors. These responsibilities include what is seen (clothes,
shoes, hats, purses, canes, parasols, jewelry, wigs, makeup, etc.)
According to each character the costume are designed according
to the scene of every act in the play.
IMPORTANCE OF COSTUMES
Standing of costumes cannot be undervalued. Costume design
helps set-the-scene for the viewers and gives them an instant
picture of what the character is about. Eventually, a costume is to
support the actor in transmitting the character his/her personality
to the viewers.
Description of Costumes:
Suggestions for costume choices are striking or unusual in any
way.
Focus on the following elements:
• costumes are modern & unique in style
• costumes show the feel of character
• significant costume changes according to the act & seen
of play
• costumes used representatively
• The colors and garments chosen for specific scene/act of
play according to the set & background
• The costumes specifically expose the characters, the
characters' actions, how the characters change through
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Dr. Taimur Kayani
the play, the times and locations of the play, and the
style of the play.
Full range of costumes for each character presents initial ideas in
the form of thumbnail sketches, color palettes, fabric swatches,
or pictures drawn from inspiration sources.
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No Exit
Production Notes for Costumes of Father

As per Writer’s & Directors description of Character (FATHER)
who is one of the leading characters of play. Who mostly dressed
in white gown added colourful embroidery on sleeves and he is
very conscious about his dressing and a very jolly character.
Costume for FATHER:

• White / lime Yellow / Light blue long gown with sleeve
embroidery
• He uses long piece of cloth on his shoulder with
matching of embroidery color
• Wearing transparent glasses
• Black boots and casual sandals
Description of Costume:
I suggest the costume choices particularly striking or unusual in
any way.
• costume must be basic & characteristic in style
• costume show the feel of character
of play
• costume used representatively
• The costume specifically represents the characters, the
characters' actions, how the characters change through
the play, the times and locations of the play, and the
style of the play.
Full range of costume for each character will present initial ideas
in the form of thumbnail sketches, color palettes, fabric
swatches, or pictures drawn from inspiration sources.
Reference Image:
25
Dr. Taimur Kayani
Production Notes for Costumes of SUSANA:

As per Writer’s & Directors description of Character (SUSANA)
who is one of the leading characters of play. Who will always
dress up smartly but in very exclusive way?
Costume for SUSANA:
• Purple / lime green / blue long day wear Dresses
• White hat with matching bow
• As accessory she uses small ear tops
• Sunglasses
• White strap sandals
Description of Costume:
I suggest the costume choices particularly striking or unusual in
any way.
• costume must be modern & exceptional in style
of play
• costume used representatively
• The costume specifically at the characters, the characters'
actions, how the characters change through the play, the
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No Exit
times and locations of the play, and the style of the play.
Full range of costume for each character will present initial ideas
in the form of thumbnail sketches, color palettes, fabric
swatches, or pictures drawn from inspiration sources.
Production Notes for other Characters Like HARDEV,

WAITER, GEETA, MANAGER, JUDGE. POLICE
OFFICER in ACT ONE:
Description of Costumes:
I suggest the costume choices particularly basic or common in
any way. Focus on the following elements; the costume of
characters will be:
• costume must be casual or semi-formal according role
of character
• According to season costume reflects the heat of
summer.
Costume for HARDEV:
• Sky blue leaf printed Half sleeve two-piece collar shirt
• Light Khaki straight loose cotton pants
• White tennis joggers
• Jockey Cap used as accessory
Costume for WAITER:
• White dress shirt with folded sleeved
• Grey dress pants
• Black dress shoes Costume for MANAGER:
• White Dress shirt with Black Slim tie
• Black Dress pleated pants
• Black oxford shoes
Costume for GEETA:
• Red sahri
• Red sandals
• As accessory she uses Silver ear rings of bracelet size
• Red bindia
Costume for POLICE OFFICER, JUDGE & READER:
• All above character must be in their typical uniforms
• See below reference images
27
Dr. Taimur Kayani
28
No Exit
ACT ONE
Scene One
Working class restaurant- Late afternoon
A June day, there is no wind and everything is still. It is late
lunch time at three sides open working class restaurant in a
middle class area, noisy subway station is nearby and it is also
just few yards from a grand shopping mall. Typical Malay and
Indian meals are served here. There is a faint redolence of
banana and coffee in the warm breath of the air. Beat-up
apartment buildings with a raffish charm are also seen at a
distance. Loud South Indian music is played with a land mark
poster of holy Mecca is displayed on the wall next to the money
counter. Most customers are university students from diversified
racial background. There are scattered laughters among the
customers. Presence of a palm tree is giving it a tropical look.
A handsome, young and South Asian decedent man in his late

twenties, with radiant complexion, exceptionally long
moustaches and side burns, is sitting on the bench and waiting
for his long awaited lunch. His thoughtful brown eyes and white
tennis joggers stand out in his personae. His carefully combed
hair presents a fresh look.... However, with the sun at his back,
shadows mark the depressions beneath his cheek bones. He
brings his blue bag closer to his table and looks up at something-
a bird or a plane passing over.
HARDEV 1 : [Smoking a cigarette, suddenly remembers
something] Hey! Look it is getting too late. Sudah terlambat 2. I
1 Usually a name of Sikh in Indian Punjab

2 It’s too late
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Dr. Taimur Kayani
have only ordered Roti canai 3 today. Where is it?

WAITER: [stares at him] I am coming in a minute, we are
making it fresh for you! Hardev gee! [Then the waiter bawls out]
HARDEV: [mockingly] Ah! Making fresh for me! Are you my
beloved mother! These bastards are playing with me as usual.
[All of sudden Hardev’s dark brown eyes starts thinking about
his mother’s hand cooked Aaloo Paratha 4 with eggplant curry.
The hot and delicious freshly milled wheat flour mixed with lot of
Ferine which makes it crispy really quickly. He strokes his chest
and whispers].
HARDEV [one tear appears on his left cheek] : Oh my ma, yours
little Laali misses you!
[Another Waiter vaguely dusts the table and smiles] I am
coming, my son! Just wait a minute, please! Fresh really Fresh!
HARDEV: [suddenly remembers something and stands up]
Sorry mother, I am going to wash my hands right away! [Washes
his hands with a soap and comes back to his bench]
HARDEV: [lights another cigarette and talks directly to the
audience] Oh God, I’m really home sick, tired and bored.
[Silence]. I am really hungry after a long morning shift. Look my
head is swimming. I have only got a ten minute lunch break... all
you can do is to smell the food in ten minutes, already wasted
five minute in wait. I am usually hard on waiters because I want
to vent my frustration on somebody. Why I am frustrated today?
I am stuck with this awful job at the departmental store. Boy this
Dilawar Singh, you know, my extra-smart supervisor, is getting
on my nerves lately. He has been exploiting me in return of the
pay raise he has promised. But this pay raise is way overdue. I
3 Traditional south Indian paratha with lental gravy

4 Traditional Bread from Punjab
30
No Exit
can’t wait anymore. I should not wait any more [pause] I think,
time to switch is finally here. Time to take exit! [Pause] Let me
stand up and curse some waiter here. Waiters are very lazy here!
[Raised and point his finger toward some waiter on the right]
Oye, you! Where are you going? On a date with your girlfriend!
Don’t worry about her, she has already run away because of
yours laziness. Shame on you! [Gives a bitter smile]
WAITER: [in a low voice addresses to the audience] Hardev gee
is the most demanding customer we have! Always complaining,
always in a hurry, never leaves a penny! Simply a pain in the
neck!
HARDEV: [annoyed and talks to manager] Mustafa gee! I
respect you as my elder brother! But enough is enough.
Yesterday, I ordered Nasi Gorang Paprik (Chicken with Rice),
waited for ten minutes and then left without eating since nobody
bothers to serve me here. This time, I order a quick item from the
menu and seeing the same result. What should I do? Where
should I go? I am treated like a little brother here.
MANAGER: [raises his eyebrows] This is your restaurant! Oye
Ravan! Be quick; get a roti canai right away for Hardev gee!
What’s going on here!
HARDEV: [in an advisory tone] If you pay less to your workers
that’s what kind of work you get!
MANAGER: [annoyingly] Cost cutting is everywhere now!
[Suddenly, from a left corner, a dark blue van glides into the
main entrance of the shopping mall, stops, few police officers
jump and run towards the opposite side of the mall].
HARDEV: [shocked into terror, rises from the table] This we
call an adventure in Malaysia! Let’s get outa here, Mujtaba,
These bastards! Another grand raid! means another drastic
31
Dr. Taimur Kayani
change is coming, my lord give me a piece of peace!

WAITER: [Immediately throws the meal on his table and takes
exit] Here is your roti canai! Fresh and dandy! Eat it and give us
your kind prayers, will you?
[Hardev ignores the waiter’s call and immediately ties the laces
of his new white joggers and rushes into the bathroom located
on the left side and closes the main door of it].
Scene Two
Immigration raid, late afternoon till evening

A young boy with dark green eyes and jockey cap, clean shaven
and wearing a half- shoulder white shirt in which his elbows
stuck out like wings appears from the corner of the restaurant’s
bathroom. He seems casual but cleanly dressed with light Khaki
pants and white tennis joggers. On face and body, you can see
and smell talcum powder. He walks briskly towards the left exit
of the restaurant. Suddenly somebody stops him and runs
towards him.
A YOUNG WOMAN: Oh Ram gee 5! Oh my sweet lord, Sri
Bhagavan 6! My long prarthana 7 came true, I found my Manoj
Kumar!
[Hardev gets up and looks vaguely at the short heighted young
woman with long hairs, wearing red bindia on her fore-head,
wearing earing the size of bracelets. Meanwhile, he also sees few
police officers running towards the cash counter]
5 god in Hinduism
6 Another name of god
7 Prayer in Hindi
32
No Exit
HARDEV: [recovers himself immediately] Namaste 8 Geeta jee!

[Slightly bows his head and pressed his hands together] my
sweet heart! I miss you so much [Geeta embraces him
emotionally and then he points at the table he was siting before]
Sit here darling, eat the lunch, see I ordered yours favorite Roti
Canai, very fresh! I’ll get back in a minute. Here I go, here I
come!
GEETA: No, sit with me; you don’t know how much I search for
you! You are everything for me Manoj gee!
HARDEV: Trust me, I will mark my attendance and take a short

sick leave for today. I also miss you darling! Let’s celebrate our
re-union! I and you, alone! You sing and I dance!
GEETA: You mean Bhajan Bhagawan8!

HARDEV: Yes on our re-union is made by him!
GEETA: Be quick, I can’t wait! I have an appointment with the
beauty parlor! Kindly take one hundred ringgit in advance also.
You know Devali 9 is coming!
HARDEV: Righto! My Raj kumari 10, my singing bird!
[Hardev leaves the restaurant immediately and after taking few
steps, looks upward, puts his blue bag quickly on his swimmer’s
sculptured shoulders and sees a white colored bird flying high
towards South City].
HARDEV: [takes a sigh and talks directly to the audience] Oh
boy! what a surprise! What a catch! Police, immigration,
girlfriend are all in love with me today! Are you confused of
what’s going here? Well stick to your seats, you will find out my
hidden world in a minute. Share popcorns with your girlfriend
8 Hello in Hindi
9 Hindu festival
10 Princess in Hindi
33
Dr. Taimur Kayani
and take few sips of coke and wait for my story! Meanwhile, I
am about to run. [Takes exit from the restaurant]
POLICE OFFICER TO MANAGER: Sir; have you seen a
medium heighted man, South Asian, mark on his left cheek,
introduces himself as Hardev?
MANAGER: Yes! he is our regular customer; he was just around
here, sitting on this table!
POLICE OFFICER: There! Where, now a woman is siting and

eating.
MANAGER: Yes! Right there officer, what’s the matter?

POLICE OFFICER: Son of a bitch! You can’t escape today
Mujtaba 11, we will catch you today. Finally your day has come.
You bastard!
[Police officer briskly walks towards Geeta and sits on the bench
opposite to her]
Scene Three
On the road with Laali

HARDEV [outside of the restaurant, looks upward and then
points its finger]: This is my guide for today! Run boy Run! [He
immediately sets his direction towards it and starts
running...Few moments passed]
HARDEV [shouted upward at the bird] Oye! You bastard, slow
down yourself, I am getting old you foolish bird! Oh my stupid
guide! I request you to slow down. I really need you in this
journey. I need you to set my new direction.
[Suddenly, Hardev slows down, strokes his chest, sees upward
11 A traditional Muslim name.
34
No Exit
and notices that the white bird changes into a red pigeon].
HARDEV: [shouts with excitement] Oh! Who is this? Young
boy, Mujtaba! Oh, It is my favorite home grown Laal Kabootar,
[takes a closer look], Oye it is Laloo. Laloo oh Laloo!
HARDEV: [rapidly] I am not Laloo; I am Laali, son of the
blessed Laloo!
HARDEV: [politely] Okay then where is Laloo? Dear young
fellow!
LAALI: [philosophically] He lately danced, and joined the
ancestors.
HARDEV: Very sad! But I have you at least, exact copy of him,
red color of eyes, browner on the back with a grey tail, lower
belly, dashing style of flight....
LAALI [proudly] Yes that’s what people say in my village! I am
ditto copy of him.
HARDEV: By the way! why are you here, Laali? Pigeons don’t
migrate. They can live and nest on rocky cliffs. They have
adapted to urban life well, treating tall building as their home
cliffs. Why have you migrated? Why to live this life of an
outcast.
LAALI: [smiles] Yes you are right. One of the best friends lives
in Mall of Lahore. By the way you are Mujtaba, right? Son of
Nasreen Bibi, the great soul of our town!
HARDEV: [proudly] yes! I am her eldest son! But today my
name is Hardev.
LAALI: [surprised] Hardev, What...Why did you change your
name? What happened? I don’t understand.
HARDEV: it’s a secret!
35
Dr. Taimur Kayani
LAALI: Really! Share your secret, boy; your heart will be

relaxed!
HARDEV: My world is hidden.
LAALI: Open its doors! Rests assure, your secret will be buried
with me .Look, I am Laalo’s son, the most pious pigeon of
district Kasur.
HARDEV [with pride opens his hands] Well I am open now! I
have many names. Mujtaba Khan, Michel Johnson, Manoj
Kumar, Herbert Kohl, Hardev singh....
LAALI: Oh wait a second! So many names, I even cannot
pronounce them back. Why do you keep so many names?
HARDEV: I change the name after I leave one type of job for
another one. Switch one place to another place. Now you look
confused! Let me clarify it further, Laali. I change my name
according to my girlfriend’s religion.
LAALI: Amazing! I am jealous, why this change is important?
HARDEV: Laali dear, it’s my strategy to foster quick and
productive relationship. Timing is everything in relationship
building! Remember all of my girlfriends are also my
roommates. To keep the monthly budget low, this is the trick I
play. So when my name is Mujtaba Khan my girlfriend was
Rukhsana Jehan, when I was Michael Johnson, my girlfriend
was Susana Jackson, Geeta Malhotra was my girlfriend when I
was Manoj Kumar and now I am Hardev Singh and my
girlfriend is Sarjeet Kumar!
LAALI: And when you are Laali, your girlfriend will be...?
HARDEV [laughs] Then I will be without a girlfriend!
LAALI: [embarrassed] Don’t underestimate me Mujtaba jee.
When Laali flies, the world flies.
36
No Exit
HARDEV: Oh Laali! I was just kidding.

LAALI: I am trying to understand this re-creation business.
Yours identity depends on the profile of your girlfriend. So when
you change the place, you change your girlfriend, select new
name and job accordingly. Mujtaba you are genius! What an
innovation and boy I thought I am the smartest one! But you are
the real playboy. Salute to you! For Laali, changing girlfriend is
a matter of life and death. I am still scared of Raani, she may
come anytime. You can’t trust the female. [Gets scared and
increases his speed]
HARDEV: [smiles and whispers] Slow down boy! Let me
explain what re-creation means; Re-creating yourself means
letting go of who you were before and accepting a new identity.
Even my food options are also limited to the identity I keep.
LAALI: Stick to the girlfriend business. I am interested in that!

HARDEV: My passion is not of lover anymore, it’s a passion of
a gambler and Malaysia is the best place for it. Interestingly,
changing names and places in Kualalumpur is more difficult than
changing one’s girlfriend. Unlike Pakistan, Love is less
possessive and cheap here.
LAALI: Boy! You are an evil genius. But why are we making it
so complex then?
HARDEV: You mean! why I have multiple identities? Well,
because my life is too complex. Stay with me for a while and
you will see it from your own red eyes. Brother! Man’s character
is his fate. This is my life!
LAALI: Mujtaba jee be specific! .Audience seems confused.
What is the cause of these multiple changes?
HARDEV: Ok! let me be straight. After every grand raid or
crackdown from bloody immigration, I have to take exit from
37
Dr. Taimur Kayani
where I stand, make love, take meals and do job: so I have to

create a new identity free from the traces of my previous history.
This is the pattern of my life. [pause]. For me I have no past and
future. I just live in present.
LAALI: So, you are an actor, like me!
HARDEV: Don’t act like a fool, you know what I really mean?
Whatever I do in the morning, Laali yaar, at night I am the king
of my apartment!
LAALI: And when I fly, I become the king! Unstoppable,
unbeatable, Laali.
HARDEV: But let me tell you one thing straight, I am now sick
of this entire struggle of constant running around with fear and
fallouts. I would like to take exit any time from Malaysia to start
a new life in Pakistan. I want to construct my own tea stall like
Sheeda Teli did. I will sell Aaloo Paratha cooked by my maa’s
hands. Everybody will come to my shop, The Little Malaysian
Tea Stall! All I need is enough savings from Malaysia. [Pause].
However, my struggle can be changed into a disaster if I caught
by Malaysian immigration today. But why worry, I got my white
tennis joggers; they are designed to run at any speed.
LAALI: [philosophically] My very own struggle has given me a
special mantra that disaster can be a gift, if you re-examine its
context and objective. What seems like disaster each time is
actually blessing in disguise! Look at yourself each time Mujtaba
jee! They let you go, you were forced to start something new,
highly creative. Any ways your white tennis joggers are far
slower than my brown wings! [Smiles] see my strong wings can
take me to another country!
HARDEV: [eyes crinkled] That’s why I accept you as my guide,
wise Laali.
38
No Exit
LAALI: I have never heard a story with so many twists and turn
like that! Tragic, adventurous, funny and crazy! Are you normal,
brother?
HARDEV: No, I am the hero of my story.

LAALI: Oh really!
HARDEV: [proudly] Yes, I will write a book on it and you will
be my co-writer, Laali.
LAALI: A wonderful idea! You and I will be on the cover page

in a brave new world. I am flying and you are running. Real
celebrities! What will be the title of our book?
HARDEV: The Hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy! But now it’s
your turn! Why you are here? Thousands of miles away from our
village!
LAALI: [suddenly takes the aerial view of the south city and
gets weary] Oh! Mujtaba jee Immigration is approaching
towards yours running track. I can really see them from the left
turn pike off the motorway. Make quick right and run straight for
three miles and then take left turn and go inside the apartment
block no 2 and then take exit towards the big building adjacent to
the apartment block. This way we will deceive them. We will
out-smart them. Run! Fast my boy.
HARDEV: [joins his both hands in a prayer and look upward]
Okay my guide! my younger brother, save me from them. They
are the real bustards in Malaysia.
[Thirty minutes passed. Mujtaba is running according the
direction plan given by Laali]
HARDEV: [shocked] What is this! The Criminal court of Putra
Jaya! Laali! You son of bitch! [Mujtaba stunned at seeing the
sign board on the grand building]. My God! What should I do?
39
Dr. Taimur Kayani
LAALI: Enter it, we will face it.

[Hardev slowly enters the main entrance, looks very scared with
this new hurdle, thinks he has been trapped, checks both ends of
the sky, and finds out that Laali is absent].
HARDEV: [Talks to the audience, puts his hands on his head]
Oh my God I am check mate. Laali has become a turn coat. He
has joined their ranks. This is typical Pakistani story in a foreign
land. [Pause] Oh Maa! I lost my guide!
Scene Four
Arrival into Criminal court, early evening
Mujtaba slowly and hesitatingly enters the main entrance of the
criminal court, very sacred, sees some police officers discussing
cases with lawyers; strangely majority of the crowd seems
female. It is tea break in the court and drizzle has started
Mujtaba with broken steps goes to the cafeteria and orders black
coffee with extra sugar and sits on the left side of the bench. His
ears listens to the sounds of the paper ruffling, the chain
chuckling and the wives crying. His heart starts to pump fast.
MUJTABA: I will be caught today! I have no doubt [His eyes
remains on the entrance, suddenly somebody sits on his
shoulders] who is it?
LAALI [whispers]: This is Laali, my dear Mujtaba. Relax
yourself. Control your heart beat. It’s a long journey. I told you
that we would face it. Let’s wait for a while; soon evening will
come with a brisk rain and we will sneak through this building
into the grand mosque of Putra Jaya. We will take our dinner, I
will make seven circles of the mosque to offer my Maghrib
(sunset) prayer around the holy minaars and you pray bare foot
on the central floor of the mosque. We will both ask His
forgiveness then you go your way and I will go mine. It is so
40
No Exit
simple.
[Mujtaba becomes relaxed after a while, Laali starts to cut jokes

and the look of wariness removed with smile on his face].
MUJTABA [embarrassed]: Well still you didn’t tell me about

yours long journey to Malaysia.
LAALI [politely]: First say sorry for what you have said and
think about me, just few minutes ago. Trust your brother Laali.
Always remember that friendship prospers on trust.
MUJTABA: Sorry Laali, forgive me.

LAALI [stretches his wings and acts like a king]: You are
forgiven, my big brother!
MUJTABA: We can have a big break here, so you have ample
time to share your story, yaar.
LAALI: Ok brother, it’s a long story too but let me share! [Takes
a sigh and take a brief pause] one incident brought new outlook
in my life. Your childhood friend, bastard Sheeda Teli, captured
me two years ago and trained me for national level pigeon
racing. He said Laali, you are my play boy! You are my hero!
Fly high, Chill. Go around come around ................... Liar!
YOUNG TALL GIRL: Come around Liar ... you, Michael! I
have a bigger story to share!
[ A young girl, long heighted but underweight, with heavy make-

up suddenly sits next to Mujtaba and looks angry, sees directly
into his eyes, Mujtaba gets confused and lowers down his eyes ]
MUJTABA: Oh boy! another raid!
YOUNG TALL GIRL [Sarcastically]: Hi Michael! How are
you?
MUJTABA: [re-covers himself] Sweet heart, my Susana!
41
Dr. Taimur Kayani
Welcome to our forum of sharing stories!
YOUNG TALL GIRL: I have selected my forum to share my

story! You guys keep going. I’ll come soon!
MUJTABA: Yes sweet heart! We have lot to catch up!

YOUNG TALL GIRL: [coldly] yes the time has come!
The young girl takes an exit then immediately makes U turn and
enters somewhere.... Laali seems worried with this awkward
situation.
LAALI [stunned] what’s that? Who is this? Call girl! or another
from your long list of girlfriends? Boy! She seems very clever.
Looks like a runaway girl. Beware Mujtaba! I smell danger!
MUJTABA: She is full of shit! Quick- tempered, vengeful and

snobbish
LAALI: To be honest, I really don’t like the quality of your

girlfriends!
MUJTABA: My passion is not of a lover, it’s a passion of a
gambler. I only keep run-away girls, Laali. They are easy to
maintain yaar!
LAALI: Yes, I can see that!

MUJTABA: However, I am sick and bored with all of them;
lazy, and selfish bitches. Forget about them, I want to relax
myself [closes his eyes]. I am more interested in your story
brother! I want to forget my past!
LAALI: And I am sick and tired of Sheeda Teli.

MUJTABA [proudly]: Well! He is a crowned champion of the
All Pakistan pigeon race! My funky friend, big belly, the rock
star, Sheeda Teli!
LAALI: [gets angry] Well he is son of a bitch! A true bastard!
42
No Exit
MUJTABA: Forget about him; tell me your story yaar! I want to

take Susana out of my mind!
LAALI: Ok listen! One unfortunate day, I participated in a sport

of pigeon racing. It started well but as I crossed the blue sky of
Gujranwala and entered into the Sheikhupura’s dense sky, I got
exhausted. After few minutes later I was attacked by the wild
eagles and peregrine falcons, speed was my only defense and I
lost it! Oh Mujtaba I thought I would die. I got hurt right in my
belly, blood strains appeared all over my warm body! I thought it
was last day of my life! Swear to God I thought that!
MUJTABA: [in a panting whisper] oh I feel sorry for you Laali!

LAALI: Feel sorry for your friend! May all pigeons’ curse
belong to him! Bastard Sheeda Teli, who is always obsessed
with races and results!
MUJTABA: Oh, no doubt, he is highly target oriented.

LAALI: Let me complete my story, No interruption please! I am
highly emotional right now.... Well! Wind speed reached 200
miles per hour, I heard the noise of the flowing of river Ravi and
the blowing wind entered. I shouted in the wilderness, save me
Lord, save me, save your little Laali. I was actually flying on the
wings of wind when I landed half-dead on a Historical Hiran
Minar .Two days, I drank left- over water from rain, I prayed
God forgive the last lie I told! Let your play boy live! I am
thankful to Him for life! But what kind of life it is! Without the
dashing Noori and the brave heart Jamali! Life without friends is
a curse! I desire my dust to be mingled with theirs.
HARDEV: What was the last lie you told Him?

LAALI: It’s between my God and me!
MUJTABA: I am sorry Laali! No doubt, there is no greater pain
than living with a lie when the truth is buried deep inside you.
43
Dr. Taimur Kayani
[Pause] God always forgive us but we humans don’t practice the

law of forgiveness. What happened to Noori and Jamali, the star
pigeons of Sheeda Teli’s club? I remember that white, tall, and
well-built Jamali that won the Kasur’s pigeon racing festival
when I left Kasur. Sheeda Teli used to call him geo Jamali, my
son!
LAALI: Time has passed since you left the village. New
generation of pigeons has set in. Grandfather, Noori and Jamali
died four years ago. The new champion pigeons, I am talking
about Abne-Noori and Jamali Junior, Sons of legendary Noori
and Jamali. Young Jamali Junior lost his life when we were
attacked by Eagles in skies, and New Noori became prey to a
wild cat in Lahore. While my red eyes are still searching for
Great Akbar in the skies! Mujtaba jee! Down in the flood of
remembrance, I weep like a child for the past. The long distance
flights we shared together. I see their image through my tears
when I am up in the sky, lonely.
MUJTABA: Sounds like a Greek tragedy!
LAALI: No, Mujtaba jee! Unlike humans, we pigeons live in a
world of hope and prayers. It is not mere school of thought or
ideology but our entire way of living. Oh, I lost my story...
Anyways, after few days, my body and soul got strength and I
said, listen Lali Let’s go home, where you belong! I remained
quiet for few moments then I flew back to the sky of our home
town in Kasur with a renewed hope. I landed and hid myself in
the arms of yours pious mother’s white and wide courtyard.
MUJTABA: Oh my mother’s white marbled, open courtyard!
Does she still water it? Do migrating birds still sing there in the
autumn breeze? What about my mango tree?
LAALI: You again provoked too many insistent one-liner
questions. Stop it. Let me finish first. I am not clever like you
44
No Exit
right! [Takes a pause] One wild winter morning, when I couldn’t

find new dana in your courtyard, it became a prison for me, I had
been suffering for the past ten days. What sin have I committed?
It was horrific! I felt depressed and desperate. Then, I told
myself Laali, Brave boy! Why depend on others. God blessed
you with special unfettered wings, hell with this hypocrite and
suffocating village life! Finish this game of hide and seek. New
Sky waits for you! You must flee and escape where hope and
desires are joyous luxuries.
MUJTABA: By the way, who sold Malaysia to you, Laali?
LAALI: I heard from my own ears that food and female pigeons
were in abundance in Malaysia. Sky remains interesting
throughout the year. Look around Laali, at home, in old Kasur’s
outskirt; illegal housing schemes are coming on rural areas!
Green fields are converting into cemented roads. Urban spaces
are increasing like pigeon flocks. Take the difficult road not
taken.
MUJTABA: [raises eyebrows with forehead wrinkles] Oh my
beloved distant Kasur!
LAALI: [mocks and gets annoyed with the interruptions] Oh my
beloved distant Mujtaba, listen! [pause]. I had two options; one
is to join the city’s feral flock and second was to return to my
loft on Sheeda Teli’s roof top. I rejected both so-called options
after careful consideration and flew toward east end and landed
on my pious Peer Bulleh Shah’s Mazar. As my tired feet touched
the wet stairs of Mazar, my weak heart felt the inner peace. I
stayed there for six nights and seven days, and eventually
completed my Chela.
MUJTABA: Oh I miss my Bulleh Shah’s Mazar! Green and
white! Peaceful!
LAALI: I am ending my story, so relax Mujtaba, six month ago,
45
Dr. Taimur Kayani
I stretched my wings, straightened my legs and said brave Laali

read Bismillah! Read the words of God, the giver of breath! I
recite them slowly one by one, took the Dana on the floor and
the fresh water from the tab and flew further eastward, which
became my new sky, and a new home. I forgot to tell you that I
also made a brief stopover to your mother’s courtyard, prayed
there for her health for a while and here I am! Up in the sky!
With you!
MUJTABA: [got exited, spreads his arms like a bird] Lucky
you! You don’t require VISA. There are no political borders to
restrict you! You can fly free in sky! Left, right and make U turn.
Laali jee, you are lucky.
LAALI: But, Mujtaba jee crossing the shining Indian Ocean is
not a fun! I still feel weakness in my legs. May be I need
Chinese massage. By the way which area is the cheapest for
massage you know because you are running a lot lately!
MUJTABA (embarrassed): Yes, running is my second job! I am
born to run. This is my fate. [Silence! thinks about his past
running adventures]. I think Masjid India is a cheaper place for
Massage. I will take you there.
LAALI: [in a very light tone] let’s go together next time, I feel
shy! Yaar, I need your bold and daring company.
MUJTABA: I can hardly wait.

LAALI: Thanks a lot!
MUJTABA: Aye Laali yaar, do you know any Naazo of our
village? My child hood girlfriend, Naazo of Village Lawana!
LAALI: [smiles and nods] you mean Noor Bano, the girl with a
black nose underneath her lips, long height.
MUJTABA: [nodded] yes that’s the one! There is a language in
46
No Exit
her Innocent eyes. Fair color and black hairs falling to her hips,
and her walk, what a personae! She still comes in my dreams.
LAALI: [sarcastically] Innocent eyes that don’t match up Ha
Mujtaba! Well! See! Yet another foolish lover of our Noor Bano!
For your kind information, she got married and has two little
naughty girls. But she is not happy with her married life. I saw
shades of unhappiness growing darker on her face.
MUJTABA: [remember something and gets exited] you know,
Laali when I fell in love with her, I wrote a poem for her. I was
student in Kasur College. It was beautiful ghazal, full of pain.
She busted into laughter and then got little serious when I recited
to her in midst of green Taali tress. She said words and lines
were superb and rhythm was musical. I was simply amazed.
LAALI: And I am amazed by you... humans who act like
pigeons. Chasing female pigeons and singing romantic songs are
part of our culture, not yours, dear Mujtaba. We are born with
this tradition. We are born to be play boys! Do you think modern
girls are stupid enough to believe in such romantic illusions?
MUJTABA: Yes Laali, see I do believe. Like all female pigeons
do. And you are calling female pigeons stupid. Be careful, I find
these remarks highly commendable.
LAALI: I take my words back. You are too clever!
MUJTABA: [smiles] Okay! Don’t detract my informative
conversation. Why she is sad...? Tell me, Oh may be she misses
me! My lively company! May be my broken verse still haunts
her!
LAALI: [gains confidence again] Misses you! Not at all! a big
No! Comrade, this sort of poetic romance looks good only in
poetry and novels. Actually, her beloved husband, Allah Ditta
went to Lahore last year and rarely comes home. Remember!
47
Dr. Taimur Kayani
Woman’s world changes after marriage.

MUJTABA: Another half-baked truth! Any way what does he do
in Lahore? You know he used to be my old friend.
LAALI: [in a sexy voice] Oh boy! There is an interesting side of
him. He does powerful body massage... He has magical hands!
Work there, here, everywhere! Like you, he has changed his
name. His name is AD now and sometimes he wears blue jeans
which he got from his Sahibs or [whispers] Shahibazs.
MUJTABA: [growing anxiety] oh I miss her smile yaar!
LAALI: why are you asking so many questions on Noor Bano
from me? She was just one of your million girlfriends.
MUJTABA: No! There is another secret I want to share with
you.
LAALI: Another! Keep going... share your next secret with me.
MUJTABA: She was my fiancée, Yaar.
LAALI: What! Stop it! This is too much!
MUJTABA: I lost her when I couldn’t return back after five
years. Laali, as I have said, the memory of Noor Bano’s walks
brings smile to my face. [He closes his eyes]. I can see it now, an
easy going loop; nice and steady. Not too fast and not too slow.
Fast enough to get somewhere, but not too fast to miss anything.
Bouncy! Alert! resolute without any concern and without vanity.
A walk that both belonged to and was remote from everything
about it!
LAALI: Open your eyes dreamer! You are talking about my
rani? Has Noor Bano called you or sent you some love letters I
mean?
MUJTABA: Yes [and remember something]
LAALI: Rest assure, she doesn’t smile any more. I always see
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No Exit
her running and cursing around her children. Her walk is a

history now. Any way! In Pakistan married life takes the smile
away! Look at me [takes the round circle] I am still single, and
that’s why I am free, dandy and smiling!
MUJTABA: [scholarly] All truth is relative! Sometimes in life,
the script we are given no longer fits the story we want to live.
LAALI: What does it means?

MUJTABA: It means no one can ever know the whole truth
about anything. Just the truth about their perspective. Laali, don’t
make sweeping statements.
LAALI: [remember something, sees upward in prayer and

becomes quiet].
Few minutes passed

MUJTABA: [Surprised] why you stopped talking to me Laloo?
Speak up! We have a long way to go yaar.
LAALI: [feels disturbed] again my name is Laali not Laloo!

MUJTABA: Ok! Sorry young fellow, Laali! Why did you
become so quiet?
LAALI: I was praying for my deceased father, Mujtaba jee!

Although we had arguments but I loved him and he loved me.
He understood that we had generation gap! He did not like my
romantic life style! I hate arranged marriage; while he was a
committed one, while I hang with different pigeons like you,
make fun, he lived a quiet and decent life. He used to say, Laali
Beta take the middle course. It is the safest course.
MUJTABA: I feel lonely here, all by myself; Laali [takes the last
sip of the coffee].
LAALI: But when one’s heart becomes lonely, it gets wings and
it flies with imagination!
49
Dr. Taimur Kayani
[Silence again]
LAALI [moves his neck downward and looks directly into the
eyes of Mujtaba] our job from ages is just to deliver the message.
However, sometimes I think this job of messenger is not so
simple. I learnt long ago from my ancestors that silence is the
safest course for pigeons. By the way, when did you last time
talk to your dear mother, Mujtaba jee?
MUJTABA: [with guilt] Well six month ago just one day before
Eid I think, but I sent her the money last weekend! One thousand
ringgit 12. Malik did the transfer. Trust me!
LAALI: [sadly] I miss her. She served me dana and fresh water
six month ago with shivering hands and I accidently saw gloom
in her old sinking eyes. Her old dark look gave me glimpse of
my late father‘s last look before death! She had tears in her eyes.
May be her time to last dance has arrived. I don’t know. I speak
just to those who understand me; to the rest my mind is blank.
[All of sudden, Court bell rings. Break is over. Laali sees one
immigration officer enters the building. He becomes cautious
and alert].
LAALI: Hey, Mujtaba Let’s go inside as our immigration friends
are here. [Mujtaba gets scared follows Laali in a hurry into the
court room.
MUJTABA: Bastards! They will follow me into my grave,
[enters the gallery with Laali].
12 Malaysian Currency
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No Exit
ACT TWO
Scene One
Trial in the court, late evening
READER: All rise! The court is in session.
[A middle aged man dressed in black long gown, wearing a
tangled beard, red tie and white tennis joggers, enters the court
with a big and live smile from the left door, and carries a
miniature palm tree planted on a small pot. He has a long chin
and big rather prominent teeth with floridly cured lips.
Meanwhile, Mujtaba with Laali sits quietly in the gallery. Some
people in the gallery squirm on the hard benches. The man next
to Mujtaba starts to snooze].
The court smiles and becomes quiet.
JUDGE [to Reader in a low voice] I am in a hurry; I have to go
on a date. So let’s make it a quick spell. Why the airconditioning
is not working again? I will go on a hunger strike if it won’t
work tomorrow. Tell the registrar!
READER: [humbly] Just one is left. It is very important. It will
just take few minutes. I promise my honour.
JUDGE: [Untie his tie] let’s go, I am in a hurry, Strawberry Juice
is waiting for me.
READER: Just one case is left. Luckily the accused one is

finally here.
BALIF: [loudly] Susana etc. versus Michael
JUDGE: [smiles] the play boy’s case. That’s my kind of case, he
puts tie on the table
BALIF: The man in Khaki pent and white shirt, come forward in
51
Dr. Taimur Kayani
the court. [Suddenly, a police officer grabs Mujtaba’s shoulder

and pushes him in front of the judge].
Mujtaba is in a shocking state, looks around, sees his two former
girlfriends on the right side, smiling at him and showing their
teeth, He slowly walks towards the accused chamber. Then, he
hears the noise of the pigeon’s flight in his ears. He stretches his
shoulders and Laali lands on his right shoulder.
LAALI [becomes an advisor] don’t worry; we will fix this
awkward situation. When it comes to pressure, we both perform
better. This is our history and we should always remember that
history repeats itself. Be confident. Let’s give a landmark
performance and clear our name.
MUJTABA: This is not a filmy world; we are in a criminal
court. It’s not funny, it is a nightmare. Look Laali, I am screwed.
They seem well prepared.
READER: [to Mujtaba] don’t talk to yourself in a weird
language, Hamlet. This is court and you are in front of an
honorable judge.
JUDGE: Bring the witnesses one by one.
BALIF: First witness, Miss Susana Jackson.
MUJTABA: [talks to audience] She is the most clever one.
Selfish and a real bitch!
LAALI: Play cool; don’t lose your temper, that’s what they
want.
A tall girl, wearing blue shaded wrangler jeans, camel coloured
cowboy shoes, an artificial pearl choker, a pair of dark glasses
bolted out her eyes, comes forward. She is enjoying chewing gum
and looking over -confident.
JUDGE: Take the chewing gum out of your mouth; otherwise I
52
No Exit
will plant a tree on your tongue.
SUSANA: Sorry your honour, but it’s very fertile one!

[The court laughs, Bailiff Gets up] Order, order, the court is in
session.
JUDGE: [peering over the top of his glasses] Take the fashion
glasses off and answer me. Do you recognize this young man?
SUSANA: Yes, he is Michael Johnson.

MUJTABA: Objection my lord, my name is Mujtaba Khan.
READER: Don’t worry; we have a girl who recognizes you with
this name too.
[Mujtaba and Laali bow their heads]

JUDGE: What’s the issue?
SUSANA: He left me without notice.
JUDGE: Are you his landlady?
SUSANA: No, I was his girlfriend.
MUJTABA: I sent her the SMS that I had to leave in an
emergency; I paid one hundred ringgit for the next month rent.
JUDGE: why do you interfere? It’s not your turn. Be quiet or I

will send you to the jail. Miss Susana where is the contract?
Read it loud.
SUSANA: we have a love contract, written on stone.
JUDGE: [orders] bring that sacred stone here.
Susana: It is a proverb, your honour.
JUDGE: [smiles] Oh any way contract can be verbal, spell it out!
[Orders the reader to write the terms of the contract]
SUSANA: it’s a long contract. First, our salaries will be
53
Dr. Taimur Kayani
considered as one. We will divide all the expenses, but I will

keep the savings. He will buy me new dresses on Christmas, Eid
and devaali. We will dine out twice in a month; the expenses will
be shared equally. I will cook food and he will wash dishes. I
will clean room on weekends, while he will do it on weekdays
JUDGE: Cut it short! It’s getting too long. I have no time. What
is this, new clothes on Christmas, Eid and devaali?
SUSANA: Because Malaysia is a true Asian. I am proud to be

secular. We respect all religions.
Judge: Why others pay for your respect?

SUSANA: starts singing and dancing: Malaysia, truly Asia!
[Court joins her in the song including reader and bailiff.
JUDGE: Stop it! All of you! It is contempt of court; there should
be some decorum of this honourable court. Don’t be carried
away. Where is your attorney?
SUSANA: I am my own attorney, your honour.

JUDGE: Did he ever beat you Miss Jackson? Remember you are
under oath.
SUSANA: Yes he beat me every day, your Honour.

LAALI: [gets sad and bows his head in shame] Mujtaba, What
am I hearing?
MUJTABA: She is a tongue twister! She is KFC’s 13 zinger
twister, she is a liar!
READER: Stop it Mujtaba, It’s is not your turn, No remarks
whatsoever!
JUDGE: Okay, this is serious, how and when Miss Jackson, loud
and clear please! [There is dead silence in the court]
13 Kentucky Fried Chicken (A famous fast food restaurant)
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No Exit
SUSANA: In video game, Avenger, he beats me every day and I

kept on saying Mickey, my darling, it’s my turn now, you are
beating me every day! Look Mickey! [Starts weeping]
JUDGE: Look here, Miss Jackson, Shut up! Two more quick
questions! I want one liner answers.
SUSANA [still weeping] yes your honour.

JUDGE: Do you like anything about him... I mean anything?
SUSANA: Yes his lively smile. A smile of a mused friendliness
and pleasure which arouses feeling of warmth and something
more in me!
MUJTABA: [gives a long sad smile] Oh!
LAALI: You really got sex appeal, my Mujtaba.
JUDGE: Has he stolen anything from you?
LAALI: Here he goes again!
SUSANA: Yes your honour!
JUDGE: Name the item and its cost.
SUSANA: [A long pause] he stole my heart! And it’s too
precious.
JUDGE: Ok this is enough! Bring the accused here.

Mujtaba with Laali siting on his shoulder takes one step
forward. Mujtaba looks scared but Laali is smiling continuously
JUDGE: What kind of contract is this? One sided. You are doing
everything for her and even then she has brought severe charges
against you. They all are chasing you like police chases the
criminal. Next time select a competent lawyer for a good and
workable contract. If you won’t find a good one, I will help you
out! [Blinks his eyes]
55
Dr. Taimur Kayani
MUJTABA AND LAALI: [bow their heads] Accept our

apologies…Your Honour.
JUDGE: What is your defense on these charges?

MUJTABA: [Laali whispers something in his ears] My Lord, I
am a hard worker; I lost all of my earning on her. She didn’t
even mention that I also paid for her beauty saloon’s visit on all
religious occasions.
JUDGE: Yes Miss Susana responds to this allegation against

you.
SUSANA: [artificially] I did it for you, sweet heart! Mickey I

really like you.
JUDGE: [sarcastically] and you did fashion for community also,

what a wonderful social work you have done! You plant smile
on other’s faces. You brought colours to other’s world and you
distribute it like sweets. Wow!
SUSANA: [feels embarrassed] Yes your honour!

JUDGE: So, consider your experience with Mickey as a charity
well delivered, dear. You give smile, you take smile, you give
heart, and you take heart. What a smooth and honest transaction.
Thank you, Miss. Susana. Next witnesses please.
BALIF: Next witness Please, Susana etc. versus Michael.

[Few minutes passed]
JUDGE: Miss Susana where is your next witness.
SUSANA: My honour, Geeta went to restroom.
JUDGE: Okay! Let’s wait for five minutes. I am in a hurry!
[Five minutes passed, nobody shows up]
LAALI: [to Mujtaba] I am worried about Geeta because I saw a
glimpse of evilness in her eyes when she looked at you.
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No Exit
MUJTABA: [to Laali] No she is just slow!

JUDGE: Miss Susana I give you one more minute. Check her in
the restroom. This is too much, I’m getting late [Susana takes
exit]
[Court waits for another few minutes, even Susana doesn’t show
up]
JUDGE: Enough is enough. I would like to pronounce the
judgement. [To reader] I am giving a short order, the detailed
judgement will be given later [announces] The accused Michael
Johnson is found innocent in the court. The court adjourned.
[To the audience] I have been cheating my own wife. How can I
bring the hammer down on someone in a like situation? [Takes
quick exit towards his chamber]
LAALI: [laughs] Sweeeeeeet! Bravo Judge Lee Cock!
MUJTABA: [embraces Laali and spread his arms] I am free like
a bird, my brother. I am free.
[Suddenly, Laali notices the Mujtaba’s missing girl friend, Geeta
along with Susana and immigration officers enter in court
premises.]
SUSANA: Oh God, where everybody went! This is so unfair.
[Immigration officers leave the court and run towards the main
entrance].
IMMIGRATION OFFICER: we will catch him, don’t worry!

LAALI: Mujtaba yaar, run toward the judge’s chamber, they are
coming towards us to arrest you. Bastards! Deceiver! Frailty thy
name is woman.
Mujtaba runs toward the judge chamber. [Follows the Judge Lee
Cock]
57
Dr. Taimur Kayani
MUJTABA [to Judge Lee Cock] I am very thankful to your

Honour for this speedy justice! I am broke.
JUDGE: Where you are heading towards? This is judge’s exit.

MUJTABA: South City Plaza!
JUDGE: Okay, I am going the same way; let me give you a ride.
Follow me! The judges ‘exit is in basement on the other way.
[Judge Lee cock drops Mujtaba and Laali at the South City
Plaza, Mujtaba after few minutes starts to run towards East]
LAALI: Mujtaba dear, the Jamia mosque is toward west. Change

your direction!
MUJTABA: [in full confidence, laughs] No, I have enough

adventure with you, my lovely guide. I am my own guide now.
You are too academic and I am pragmatic. We both cannot get
along. Bye, I have to go. I am going crazy and I am getting out
of here. I am running towards airport, and look, nobody can stop
me now! [Raises both of his arms] I will fly away.
LAALI: [Frustrated by Mujtaba’s decision] this is yours tragic
flaw. It is yours problem. You are the hero of your story and it’s
your world, what can I say? Live with it.
MUJTABA: True brother true, you are right. What have you
done is beyond all thanks but I want to write my own story! I am
an independent spirit, kindly understand.
[Laali disappears, Mujtaba keeps on running then his heart sinks
again and all of sudden, he remembers one thing and stops].
MUJTABA: [to the audience] Shit! Oh fool! Mujtaba jee! It’s
29th, the last day of the month! Pay check can come any day!
How can I exit at this crucial moment? With empty pocket, how
far I can run? [He slows down immediately, rain has started, and
he calls someone, sees the grey cemented church in front of him
looks around and enters its front big door].
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No Exit
Scene Two
Arrival in the Church, early night
Saturday early evening, white coloured interior, dim light is
coming out through colourful glass windows. Cleaning crew is
working and singing along. Special decorations for Easter are in
progress. Festivity is everywhere in the air. Bells can be heard
tolling outside. An assertive looking, Indian descent, middle
aged, short heighted woman is acting as a manager of the affair.
Mujtaba weighs her up. She seems a different kind of girl, short
hair, and charismatic; wearing a cold little smile, pointed toe
shoes and red lipstick, mature with a middle class background,
smartly dressed, and unlike his previous girls which belong to
lower strata of society.
MUJTABA: What a wonderful world! Salamat datang! I will
hibernate here and later emerge a little different; my old get- ups
are not working now! [Takes off his jockey cap]
SUPERVISOR: [looks towards the door way, Shouts] She’s
coming! She is coming! Beware, Beware. [To the other servants]
Clean everything up good! If Susana doesn’t find floor shinning,
she will pull out the few hairs I have left.
CREW MEMBER: What a woman! [The bell tolls], tongue like
a knife, she changes her talk like chameleon changes her colours.
One moment she is a smooth talker another moment she is a
tyrant. I don’t trust her! I simply don’t understand her. She gets
on my nerves.
SUPERVISOR: Be careful! Here she enters with a money bag!
Look busy!
MUJTABA: [takes the mop and bucket and addresses directly to
the audience] Time to explore Susana! The new bird in my life!
This is the adventurous side of my life! People come and go in
59
Dr. Taimur Kayani
my life like customers first look, shop and then walk through a
revolving door! Exit west, but this time, I have a master plan!
Look what I l do! Hush [puts a finger on his lips]. Don’t say a
single word. OK! Otherwise I shut my world to you.
SUSANA: [to all, in a bossy voice] Boys, you boys, my boys.
Look and listen carefully! [Pause] I need a birthday party look
for this blessed occasion; simply graceful as a grand conversion
day is finally coming to our beloved Church. And you know our
rock star Father Johnny is so excited that he wants to dress like
James Bond 007. See his devotion for this blessed occasion.
SUPERVISOR: [in a low voice] Seems in a good mood today,
isn’t it amazing! Time to take advantage!
CREW MEMBER: [taking advantage of her good mood] Okay
Mam, your order is our command, but this time we should get
good bonus on that blessed day! 50 ringgit for each member of
cleaning crew is very less. At least 100 Ringgit Miss SUSANA:
this time, be generous!
SUSANA: [with a cold smile] look it all depends on quantity and
quality of conversions. Last year, our business was slow. But this
year I see an upward trend. In addition, Father Johnny is trying
his level best to get further increase in commission for
conversion from our central church in Australia. Last year,
bloody Grenzo brought some people from Uganda and you
know! Later we found out that they were already Christian.
Boom! You deceivers! At least be honest to God!
CREW MEMBER TWO: [Laughs] like us! By the way, where
Father Johnny is today? Long-time no see!
SUSANA: I think he went to beauty salon. In order to avoid
Easter rush he went earlier. You know appearance matters a lot
in our business. Especially, when light is on, Camera is on
60
No Exit
1234…Cheese Smile, Please.

[Everybody in the main church smiles, a supervisor takes the
picture from his mobile]
[Suddenly Janet notices Mujtaba is standing in the corner
looking at her].
SUSANA: [Loudly] why are you here? To enjoy yourself! Mash
potato! Look busy, bird!
[Mujtaba dips the mop in the bucket, takes it out, Checks it and
starts cleaning the floor].
SUSANA: [observe something] you are new here but seem like a
professional worker
MUJTABA: My mother advised me to get a good job, do it well,
and work hard until I retire.
SUSANA: I mean the way you mop the floor, excellent!
MUJTABA: Actually! I worked for a restaurant last year.
SUSANA: Which restaurant?
MUJTABA: [cautiously] Oh! I forgot the name.
SUSANA: [surprised by his indifference] Good, we need quick
and professional workers here.
MUJTABA: Do you pay daily wages here?
SUSANA: [Traces of suspicion enters hers voice] No! Who are
you? Who brought you here?
MUJTABA: [A slight look of panic flashes over his face] I just
entered ... well I want to know. Basic principles of holy Bible!
SUSANA: in assertive tone] Principles come later, first
conversion. Practical first, theory later, clear scholar! I am sick
and tired of explaining things.
61
Dr. Taimur Kayani
MUJTABA: Well, can I get away with both? I just need a job,
dress, new name and a new girlfriend.
SUSANA: [suspiciously] what are you saying? George did you
bring him here!
CLEANING CREW: No ma’am! we do not brought him here.
SUSANA: [Looks disturbed] who are you? What’s your name,
why did you enter this place?
MUJTABA [Thinks and proudly says] my name is Mujtaba
Khan. Are you a manager here?
SUSANA: [Excitedly and changes her tone] what! You have a
Muslim name, [pause] Super wow! Here comes the greatest
commission of all times! Look here! Oh Michael our dreams will
come true! George your bonus is approved! Glory to God! This
is the special blessing of Easter.
[Cleaning crew starts dancing and sings a song she says money
... money, she dies on money]
MUJTABA: [Feels confused] Michael! I had this name way
back. Oh I remember when Josephine white was my girlfriend.
SUSANA: Clap Mujtaba, this is yours brand new name dear!
Michael.
MUJTABA: well! Is it an accounting class? Commissions and
bonuses, sorry how much do you pay to a cleaner Madam?
SUSANA: Forget about cleaning! My name is Susana Jones. I
am an event manager for Church and very special assistant to
Father Johnny.
[Susana takes few steps forward and gives him a lingering hand
shake and hands over him hers business card]
SUSANA: Pleased to meet you. Well dear Michael, we pay 1000
62
No Exit
Ringgit to a converter, but for dead honest Muslim like you we

pay lump sum 5000 Ringgit, a new job, a designer style dress
and may be a Christian girlfriend. Deal is always a deal! We are
dead honest people.
[Susana blinks her left eye with a smile and straights her dress]
MUJTABA: So much money for an AC or DC converter, but I
am not an electrician madam. However, I am a quick learner. I
will learn it in a month.
SUSANA: Oh fool it’s a religious conversion!
MUJTABA: [thrilled with the new opportunity] Religious
conversion! Ok let me think! [Now talks directly to the
audience]. For one day, it seems a good price yaar, a good
package deal. I can play an interesting game here, sweet smell of
money plus a girl friend to marry [looks at Susana] if she loses
some weight from her thighs then I am alright. I can get PR ... I
am sick and tired of running around like a chicken with a head
chopped off. She is a Christian, I can marry her, she looks
Indian, and we can speak the same language. Our children can
speak the same language! Laali, you got a great plan. I can re-
boot my life.
SUSANA: What are you thinking? Take the deal!
[SUSANA: takes Mujtabas hand in her hand and walks few
steps]
SUSANA: [says dramatically] Think of a chaste, clean and
wonderful world Michael, A World of a loving girlfriend!
MUJTABA: Well my name is still Mujtaba! And how do you

know I am girlfriend free?
SUSANA: Free from pain, Heart full of love, Oh! I see now you
are thinking. Think Mujtaba, a life of Michael Khan, a blessed
life.
63
Dr. Taimur Kayani
MUJTABA: [bored with rhetoric] A world of girlfriend cannot

be free in Malaysia! Cut this line SUSANA: jee! Life of Michael
that I have already spent two years ago in Johar Baru 14! What’s
new for me?
SUSANA: [Surprised] what are you saying?
MUJTAB: Thinking is painful. I am really hungry now. I am
dying. A Holy sandwich will do.
SUSANA: OK just turn left and then take right and take a meal
from the church cafe. But the amount of your meal will be
deducted from your conversion commission. You know we are
straight forward and very dead honest here.
[Cleaning crew laughs, Mujtaba leaves the Hall]
Scene Three
Arrival of another illegal immigrant in Church,
late night
A confused, scared and a young boy, barely five feet tall with a
red cap and unshaven face, unkempt hair and dirty fingernails,
casually dressed wearing scuffed shoes, crawl in from the door
on the left, seems in a hurry, calls someone but receives no reply.
He waits a few seconds.
CHIMA: Hey, Mujtaba bhai, Mujtaba! [Sees a young lady
talking on the mobile}
CHIMA: [avoiding eye contact] can I talk to Hardev!
SUSANA: Come here! Who? Why? Whom - speak quickly, I

have no time!
14 Place in Malaysia.
64
No Exit
CHIMA: Has he told you anything? Do you know why I am here
for?
SUSANA: Fool! It’s your job to tell me. You needn’t be
frightened of me.
CHIMA: I beg your pardon!
SUSANA: Come close, shout now, what do you want?

CHIMA: [takes one step backward] I have something for him.
Oh! Not Hardev, Mujtaba! Just slip of the tongue. It’s a mistake.
[Silence]
SUSANA: [suspiciously observers him] He is not here, he left
for a long walk, give me whatever you have!
CHIMA: [eyes widen with whites more apparent] No, I want to
meet him.
SUSANA: Well! Hardev told me that somebody will deliver

something. That’s was real name right!
CHIMA: No, His name is Mujtaba.

SUSANA: [lowers her eyebrow] Shut up! What’s your name
wild boy?
CHIMA: [eye widens] I don’t know. I have no name!

SUSANA: I will tell your name!
CHIMA: Don’t touch me. Look, listen! Let my arm go.
SUSANA: [shouts] be still. Catch this wandering bird out of his
loft! George! Lock the doors of the church right now! I see
something odd here. May be a trap for us before Easter! I don’t
trust immigration. Have you seen this face before, boys?
[Cleaning Crew members surrounds Amir and takes him to
Father Johnny’s office]
SUSANA: [with a hard stare] catch this wild foreign bird! This
65
Dr. Taimur Kayani
is serious, we need to investigate it!
Scene Four
Caught in Church, Late night
Mujtaba enters the main hall of the church taking bold steps with
hymning a Punjabi song, notices some uneasy quietness. He
stops for a while, Looks around. Susana stands at the corner,
thinking deeply, He smiles at her but gets no response. Then all
of sudden, she takes few brisk steps toward the glass window,
seems highly upset.
MUJTABA: [airily] Hello! Susana! Here I am. What’s the
matter, honey? Are you lost?
SUSANA: [Frowning] you are illegal Pakistani: have multiple
names, numerous girlfriends, stupid, Bastard, and a criminal.
Oh! Here I have a long list of your achievements. Now we are in
a mess! Last year, we had multiple raids on our church.
Immigration caught many illegal Philippines. Now it’s your turn!
MUJTABA: [gets Scared] let me go! I will pay for the holy
sandwich and the coke!
SUSANA: No! We have already deducted 10 ringgit from your

monthly pay from the Cost Cutter Super Store.
MUJTABA: Oh! Chima came here. Where was he?

SUSANA: [Clips her fingers] that bird; go, went, gone.
MUJTABA: Well! What can I do? Ok! Listen Miss Susana, trust
me, I really like you. You are so awesome, means beautiful; your
dark brown hair looks I dedicate all of my poetry to you!
Forget about Noor bano! [Susana, song is played and Mujtaba
acts on the song]
SUSANA: [angrily] cut it short! Stupid! This is economy!
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No Exit
MUJTABA: [requests] let me go! Susana darling!

SUSANA: No way! We are fair people
MUJTABA: And Dead honest too!
SUSANA: [in a firm tone] Rest assures, I won’t do injustice to
you. Hardev or Mujtaba; whatever the hell are you! For Susana,
always remember, deal is a deal, written on solid stone!
However, now after emergence of this new tricky situation, 3000
Ringgit will be a just price for quick conversion. What do you
think? Listen Mujtaba! [softly] I will keep 1000 Ringgit from it.
Do you understand! This is too much work. Let’s go to father
Johnny’s office and straight things out.
[Mujtaba stands still and appears hesitant] walk [Susana orders

Mujtaba, waves her keys then grips his shoulder] Aye! You
Imran Hashmi 15, son of a bitch! Walk quickly.
Scene Five
Father Johnny office in the Church, late night
SUSANA: Along with Mujtaba and George enters a big
corporate style office, bright lit, well decorated, a middle aged
man in a dark blue suit, clean shaven face, humming to himself,
looking at the big mirror with a comb in the left hand. Smiling
continuously and wearing a bowler hat, blade- shaped tie and
sunglasses.
FATHER JOHNNY: [welcomes her and holds out her hand]
Sweet Susana see how do I look, gorgeous or good? I am fishing
for a compliment, Susana.
15 Famous Indian Actor.
67
Dr. Taimur Kayani
SUSANA: [artificially smiles] Yes Father! Gorgeous as always!
FATHER JOHNNY: [very excited] Many thanks! James Bond

like haircut DONE! Nail polished, Face washed with six Thai
creams DONE! Special Chinese massage DONE! . Do I look
cute or super cute dear Susana? Just talk to me Susana, Just talk
to me darling!
SUSANA: Super cute like Susana Jackson Father!
FATHER JOHNNY: Can we go on a date ... celebration? Oh I
am so happy! Finally I got a decent look!
SUSANA: [becomes serious] No! Look around we have a
serious business here, Father.
FATHER JOHNNY: No! No urgency tonight. I feel high today.
Let’s dance, Join me Susana!
SUSANA: It’s serious boss. This is so-called Muslim can be
converted but ------------------
FATHER JOHNNY: Excellent, glory to my great lord, I told you
we will give him 10,000 Ringgit. Final! Cut a deal! Be generous!
SUSANA: [grabs Mujtaba from his shoulder] Father, he is
illegal! from Pakistan.
FATHER JOHNNY: Oh! Interesting [fixes his hair] we have to
fix this interesting situation.
Talk to Rosli, 1000 Ringgit for five days.
SUSANA: I fear that he will take more money, Father! It seems
a complex case.
FATHER JOHNNY: [in a cowboy stance, with legs spread,
hands on hip and thumbs tucked into the belt and shoulders
thrown backwards] Complex or simple! I don’t care. We have
already paid him 1000 ringgit for not conducting any raid on
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No Exit
God’s glorifying day. Enough is enough! Last year this bastard

brought havoc here. Cut a deal! Period.
SUSANA: (blinking her left eye again] Well if we try our level
best, we can get his authorized paper in just five days. Musa will
help us out!
FATHER JOHNNY: who is Musa? Your new boyfriend!
SUSANA: [lowers her eyebrows] Oh No! You are so naughty;
Father! he is our insider in the immigration.
FATHER JOHNNY: Engage him immediately and then
transport Michael Mujtaba to Australia! It can be a precious bird
[spread his arms like wings] Flying everywhere to market our
business.
SUSANA: [exited] I will personally transport him to Australia,
Father! Bigger commission there! [Susana laughs] Will you go
my new beloved boyfriend singing this song, Susana: I am crazy
about you! Oh sexy Imran Hashmi!
[Mujtaba becomes very quiet and seems disturbed] My name is
Mujtaba!
SUSANA: You both are same. I can count the wings of the
sparrow, you play boy magazine. Yours first glimpse displayed
yours inside out! I will call Sarjeet Kaur in a minute.
FATHER JOHNNY: Don’t be scared, come here my son, [kisses
Mujtaba’s left cheeks then puts his right hand on his head] Son!
From now on, you are our good will ambassador. You will be
our representative. You will travel country to country in the
name of Father’s Johnny’s glory!
[Mujtaba bows his head in submission]
[Father Johnny starts dancing and gets on the top of the table.
[Music]
SUSANA: [eagerly] Now let me organize everything. Time is
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Dr. Taimur Kayani
too short!
FATHER JOHNNY [orders while still standing on the table] Get
George here. Open my personal room for Michael Mujtaba - M
& M. Let him sleep sweet heart. Give him a special drink on the
house. Big day is coming. And you Susana don’t leave; we have
to practice the belly dance after for the holy day.
SUSANA: [with a shy smile] well we can practice it tomorrow
morning! My dear Father Johnny!
FATHER JOHNNY: No! No! Tonight is the time! Period.
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No Exit
ACT 3
Scene One
Encounter with Mother, mid night
A spacious and tastefully furnished room, a big Christ picture is
displayed with holy cross hanging; few books on Christian
theology are arranged in the racks along with dusty documents.
A great brooding silence fills the stage. A brand new
refrigerator, TV and a double bed are quite visible. Mujtaba
enters in a state of wild excitement and ecstasy, takes his special
drink, enjoys it, sip by sip, feels relaxed and thinks about the
hectic activity of the day. George leaves the room. Mujtaba takes
the cheery out of the drink, lifts it high and eats it.
MUJTABA [talks to the audience]: Looks like a cinema hall!

[takes off his jacket and cap] What a day, guys! What a day! I
am really tired but soon things will be alright right yaar. Just do
it. Take the right risks. See Susana is my kind of girl. Australia is
the new earth under my bold feet, my new heaven waits for me.
Finally running around is over. Stupid Laali thanks for
introducing this place to me. Like you, I am young and
happiness is waiting to flow out of every pore of my body. There
is nothing beyond this world. And I am part of this world. That is
why I want all the happiness this world can offer me, in
abundance...
Mujtaba quickly locks the door, smiles, extinguishes the last light
and falls flat on the double bed.
MUJTABA: Why this double bed? [Smiles and relaxes his legs].
I know why! Father Johnny is my type of a guy! Bold and
friendly; sexy and funny. Double bed makes things interesting.
[Few minutes ’passes, very quiet. Air Conditioner starts to throw
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Dr. Taimur Kayani
cool air. Mujtaba closes his tired eyes for a while. Sweet dreams
start to flow slowly.... but suddenly he feels something flying is
coming towards him, he immediately opens his eyes. He sees an
old lady carrying a valise. Her expression is one of the shocking
disbelief. Her appearance is incongruous to this setting. She is
wearing simple Shalwar Qameez with dupata on her head, he
sees Laali on her left shoulder, continuously staring at him]
MUJTABA: (Shocked with terror): Oh God! Oh my Maa you are
here! Oh Laali you are also here. What a coincidence! What a
horrible awakening! What a nightmare yaar!
MOTHER: Why was the door shut? Tell me what’s going on?
How did it happen? I heard you are becoming Massih, you
bastard! Kanjar! [She slaps on Mujtaba’s right cheek and takes
her Black Bata chapal and starts to beat Mujtaba, he gets scared
and closes his eyes]
LAALI: [in a sarcastic tone] Take it easy Maa jee! He is my best
friend! Look! He is really tired after signing the contract of
conversion. What a heroic task he has done, Maa jee! [Starts
clapping]
MOTHER: All of your father’s bad habits have come out in you.
No religion, no sense of duty. Shame on you!
MUJTABA: [Horrified and loses control over his nerves and
talks directly to Laali] Stop it! You joker, I will hit you. You are
spreading lies like my Aunt Najma. It is not true; I am doing it
for fun, nothing serious. This Laali is a Liar, backbiter. He is
telling you PTV Style stories; it was all Laali’s idea, Maa! Idea
to live a joyous and desired life! He was my source of
inspiration, my best companion, and my guide.
[Laali chokes in terror and his red eyes blown up. First, he flies,
looks here and there then finally sits on a refrigerator]
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No Exit
LAALI: [in sarcastic tone] look at him! Source of inspiration!

Best companion and guide — that’s why you left me on the road.
Don’t play so dumb, you know what? Let me become Hum TV,
Entertainment channel! Enlist and discuss your girlfriends! Your
juicy affairs at wild summer nights when you were the king and
the rest were slaves! I know all the exercises you have done
together with Sarjeet. Oh my God! So many girlfriends, I even
cannot count! [In threatening voice] I will open my cute mouth
and then you will realize what you have done to honest Laali!
[Speaks loudly so that Maa jee can listen] For instance! Your last
girlfriend, Sarjeet Kaur: You just give her one phone call for
farewell, when you accidently departed from her, you didn’t
even pay your last month’s rental contribution to her and here
you are trying to tarnish my solid reputation in front of my dear
mother, Mujtaba! Beware, Beware from the innocent bird that
has come out of your chest.
MUJTABA: [defensively but in a loud voice and shouted] and
you are a sweet little angel with wings! Conspirator, Gossiper!
[Pause] Thank you sir, I appreciate your gallantry. Actually
history appreciates your gallantry. Yours Love affairs are
discussed in all parts of the world. South Asia to Western
Europe, From Noor Jehan to Romeo and Juliet! You have
remained the main culprit. But now you are playing with a curse,
dandy playboy! You promised me that you won’t disclose my
secrets... You are attempting treachery on your brother, Laali. I
will take you back to Sheeda Teli’s dark and narrow courtyard to
dance. I will share your golden words about him. You stubborn
con artist! Beware, Beware, You bastard bird.
LAALI: [blown his belly and looks right into Mujtaba’s eyes]
Stupid! Nonsense! all artists have a secret weapon:
Stubbornness. Okay! Don’t twist the facts. When did I tell you to
flee? Oye! Playboy! Actually! Teli, your lever, your underwear
73
Dr. Taimur Kayani
friend.... convinced you! Aye Mujtaba! My jaani! Listen! Listen!

Money grows on palm trees in Malaysia, Just jump, climb and
run! And you are running after that.
MUJTABA: [interrupting] No! Five years ago you told me when
you were eating bajra 16 at Sheeda Teli’s courtyard, Laali and I
was drinking the Kashmiri tea. I still remember.
LAALI: Five years ago! I am just turned three this spring, you
the biggest liar Kasur had ever produced. It was may be
Laloo.[pause] I warn you! do not bring my blessed dad in this
conversation. . Enough is enough!
MUJTABA [shouted]: Get out!

LAALI: I told you that I am already out, my play boy!
[Mujtaba moves his weary eyes and sees the Bulleh Shah
mazaar’s white ring in Laali’s leg]
MUJTABA: [Wipes the finger across the nose] so you cross the
Indian Ocean again and now, your weak legs are better! They
don’t need massage anymore! You loafer, angry young bird!
MAA: End this humour workshop! You, both dreamers became
quite now! I am not here to watch a wrestling match. I want to
discuss the matter at hand. Yours old mother travelled thousands
of miles with a valise to settle this issue. Now both of my sons,
Laali and Mujtaba in my respect be quiet! [After few minutes
later it seems there is eventually an uneasy ceasefire between
them has taken place]
MAA: [in a sermon Style] don’t make fun of any religion, race
or gender Mujtaba Khan. All religions are sacred. Religion is a
relevant, enduring and universal fact of life. It sustains human
from cradle to grave. It’s not a game either my son. Don’t go on
16 Millet
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No Exit
that path! Don’t change your religion and don’t mock others
religion. Understand!
MUJTABA: Understood Maa jee! I was approaching the
problem from the wrong end. I had to view it from a different
angle altogether. And one thing more and that’s hurts me a lot! I
am alone and you both are together, Is it fair?
MAA: Look inside of yourself, Mujtaba. We all are one
MUJTABA: Oh really!
MAA: Now Mujtaba stand up! And recite the first Kalma
MUJTABA: jee! Maa jee! [He recites the first Kalma]
MAA: [mysteriously smiling] Keep going, Second Kalma
MUJTABA: [With a weary look recites the second kalma]
MAA: Don’t stop third kalma!
MUJTABA: Oh I forgot!
[Maa takes black chapal again]
MUJTABA: [shouted in terror] give me a hint!
[Maa recites the third Kalma twice, Mujtaba Follows Maa jee
and recites all six Kalmas]
MAA: [tenderly] Alhamdulillah! Now my son, close your eyes!
Recite them one by one.
[Mujtaba recites all six Kalmas carefully. Time passes by, he
hears no noise. He feels relaxed then suddenly Laali flies and
sits on his shoulder]
LAALI: [Says softly] Listen! Mujtaba jee
MUJTABA: Say sorry first!
LAALI: Sorry my best friend, Mujtaba jee.
75
Dr. Taimur Kayani
MUJTABA: Just Sorry!

LAALI: No, I want to say something in your ear.
MUJTABA: Sure! But speak lowly, I am disturbed from the
inside. No more sermon please! I had it enough today!
LAALI: [Whispering in the Mujtaba’s ear] Don’t be a wandering
star!
MUJTABA: [smiles] I am not a wandering star, I am a rock star,

dear Laali.
LAALI: Be quiet, it’s a serious talk!
MUJTABA: I am listening! Laali. In 2015, I gave up women and
cigarette; it was the worst twenty minutes of my life. So! Dear
no more advice on this issue.
LAALI: My friend! Change your direction; most significant
change begins with a simple step, not a giant leap. Take the first
step, and go home! Forget what you haven’t done. In various
seasons of life, we encounter obstacles that may call us to
compromise our true selves. Don’t compromise.
MUJTABA: Laali, but I am average.

LAALI: You are not average because average is a lie. You’re not
average because average means stuck and you’re not stuck, you
are moving and trying and you’re climbing over every bit of fear
or opinion or “no you can’t do that” you’ve ever heard. So you
scoff at average. You laugh. You guffaw. Just do it.
MUJTABA: I will try my level best to be in action but
sometimes I feel directionless.
LAALI: Always remember, migrating birds re-orient
themselves at sun set. I have seen myself in Malaysian sky when
the sun drops beyond the horizon line, birds flying in wrong
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No Exit
direction, correct their path at once. Now! It’s yours time to reset
your direction my elder brother. I am sorry again that I talked to
you harshly; you already know that I have an attitude problem!
MUJTABA: You mean I should go back to Pakistan!
LAALI: Yes Mujtaba jee. I miss my Pakistan too!
[Suddenly Mujtaba feels the voice of a bird’s flight in the
opposite direction. His heart feels the inner peace ... he opens
his eyes and sees no one there!]
MUJTABA: [confidently, he stands up and looks all around him]
my mind’s made up. I must go now. I am re-assured. I can relax.
I should leave this place and go home, visit my sweet home,
embrace my lively courtyard where I will sit under the mango
tree with my mother and stupid Laali. Where I belong! ... I can
feel the vastness of my courtyard [open his both hands], smell of
my old mango tree and feel of eastern wind. Oh God let my go,
let me fly!
Scene Two
Encounter with immigration agent
Small but well decorated office in Masjid India, the heart of old
Kualalumpur, middle aged man with a little beard, large pointed
chin, prominent eyebrow that slopes downwards towards the
center, almost converging. Dressed in well pressed white
Shalwar Qameez suit, siting in the chair, middle of the stage, one
young man standing doing massage on his shoulders while other
with note book reading some details to him. Mujtaba enters the
old building, looked confused, burnout and worried
YOUNG MAN: [lights up the cigarette for Malik] Laal Kabootar
is here! Malik Sahib! He is finally here.
MALIK: [watches the video camera] don’t let him in! Let him
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Dr. Taimur Kayani
wait for a while in waiting room, at least thirty minutes you see!
Create an impression! Kill his confidence!
YOUNG MAN: [hesitates] Do I serve him tea? While he is
waiting for you!
MALIK: [bluntly] No! Let him sit alone! Remember stupid!
Never give Dana and water immediately to any runaway red
pigeon. Wait for a while. Patience is the key trick you play when
he lands on your courtyard. Watch him from a distance. Let him
feel the fear first! Let his heart feel the rising pressure! Make it
memorable experience for him. Then put dana on your palm, he
will surrender completely then you catch him, kiss his forehead,
cut his wings, give fresh water and detained him in cool place for
a while! Remember, he is wild and extra-ordinary bird that
knows how to fly higher and higher.
[Young man exits, thirty minutes passed, Mujtaba is setting on a
green sofa, getting worried and scared that something will
happen. May be Susana send someone to chase him. Or Malik
Sahib had something else, a new idea].
MUJTABA: [Aside] whom should I trust here? I even cannot
trust myself. Am I trust worthy? Where is my self-worth? I don’t
understand this country.
MALIK [to his servants] Get him in!

[Mujtaba enters the room calmly. very quiet, looks around and
then sits on a sofa near around]
MALIK: [annoyed] what happened to you? You, runaway kid!

MUJTABA: [frightened] Malik Sahib! I want to take exit! I want
to go home. Help me Malik Sahib!
MALIK: That’s what you said last time. Malik g, I want to go

home. Are you are the five year kid? My mom misses me. Get
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No Exit
yourself out of primary school. Grow up! You have left your
mother’s courtyard; your life is now in the sky, flying higher and
higher. Malik will let you fly.
MUJTABA: I am serious this time, Malik Sahib, help me!

MALIK: God helps those who help themselves.
MUJTABA: [softly] Please Malik Jee, I beg you!
YOUNG MAN: [interrupt Mujtaba in a scary tone] Immigration
officers will fan out across Malaysia in a major crackdown on
illegal immigrants from tomorrow. No relief!
MUJTABA: [becomes very scared] Malik Sahib! Let me get out
of here, my mother is ill.
MALIK: There is one way. A new Amnesty program! God helps
those who help themselves. In Malaysia, you know Mujtaba!
Cash is king. You pay 500 Ringgit fine, and then pay Ringgit
200 fine, finally Malik Pass for 250 Ringgit, Pakistan
immigration pass 500 Ringgit, one way ticket to Pakistan 2500
Ringgit [laughs] plus free Malaysian t-shirt, a new haircut! And
Go home where there is no job.
OLD MAN: [with a cold smile] Malik Sahib’s one window
solution!
MUJTABA: [rising] this is too much, Malik Sahib, almost 6000
Ringgit. 2 lakh Pakistani rupees! I just want to leave!
MALIK: [Sneers] who said exit is cheap! Who said there is an
exit? Pakistan needs your money. Think of Pakistan. Fool, you
live here for how many years, Mujtaba? Manzoora Come and
take one picture of him, [young man a move forward and takes
one picture from his mobile]
MALIK: [yells] If it is too costly, go somewhere else. Fly from
here!
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Dr. Taimur Kayani
MUJTABA: [biting his lips] This February, 10 years, Malik

Sahib.
MALIK: And no saving! And you wasted it on girls! You
womanizer! How can God help you? [Laughs again]. Last time
you came with a cute young Bangladeshi girl who worked at the
airport, what’s was her name?
MUJTABA: Malik Sahib, her name was Rukhsana Jehan.
MALIK: Where is she now! Get some money from her, your
sweet heart, your beloved! Last time when you came here in my
office I noticed your hand was in her hand. Two loving birds,
chatting with each other! Use your love story now.
MUJTABA: [nervously and struggling for self-control] She was
caught in a raid, last year! Detained and then deported!
MALIK: [severely] and you didn’t come here for her release!
MUJTABA: [touches his nose which seems to get itchy] It is
difficult to face someone you have hurt, Malik Sahib. I am also
guilty of Rukhsana because I was not with her in her moments of
distress. But what can I do? This is my fate. Happiness is an
illusion and a brief stopover in human destiny. Search your own
wounds and you will know.
MALIK: [stretches his legs in front of others] Don’t become a
philosopher! Look at your face, habitual Liar!!! I asked you a
simple question. At least she was a Muslim girl! Bastard! You
know that one call from me can change the game! What you did
you do? Got a new girlfriend! Who is your new girlfriend by the
way?
MUJTABA: [takes two steps backward, blushing] Nobody!
Trust me Malik Sahib, I have made a pledge to keep myself
away from these kinds of activities, forgive me Malik Sahib!
You are my elder brother. She was the love of my life. I still
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No Exit
remember the last night, I spent with her. She touched my face
with her fingers softer than the winds, and kissed my eyes with
her pure and beautiful lips. I felt I was not lying on my bed but
between two layers of a rose. I felt a cold sigh on my forehead.
After Rukhsana, nobody is in my life! I am clean!
MALIK: [Places his hands on the back of his head] She was so
cute! Well mannered, Oh boy! What a girl! If you didn’t need
her as a girlfriend, I need her! You womanizer! Selfish! You
always think of yourself! Think about your own lust and never
think of others lonely souls in the world. Aye! [Suddenly
remembers] Wait a second, Billoo, who cleans your apartment
told me there was one more girl came in your life. Tall, slim
Sarjeet Singh! That was her name?
MUJTABA: [opens his palms] Oh no! Malik jee! I forgot to
mention her name. She was just a roommate! Trust me!
MALIK: Roommate, Trust you! Hanging out with infidels! This
is too much to digest! [Lights the cigarette, and asks for
Hajmola] The old man observes keenly the face of Mujtaba and
notices that the debate is going the other way and realizes the
Mujtaba is also a potential customer, interrupts]
OLD MAN: Actually, Son! We are your supporter. We are your
sweet loving family. Always tell us the truth; this is in your
favour. Your case is more difficult. The previous Barison
National government allowed an extension of three years for
foreign workers but this cruel Pakatan Harapan government has
dropped the rule.
YOUNG MAN: You are in a bad state, man!

MALIK: [very bombastically] shut up all of you now! I know all
the tricks! They cannot survive without our stupid Laal
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Dr. Taimur Kayani
Kabootars 17. We have built special lofts for them. Only sick
birds will take exit. They are backbone of their businesses. Low
wages and long working hours still no complaints! Who will
work under these term and condition? Manufacturing sector and
small businesses are already affected badly with this new stupid
move from the Malaysian government. Read my lips...with fewer
workers and no new solution and policy in sight, they cannot
cope with their export orders in coming months. Then Malik’s
Relief Package will work! [Laughs]
OLD MAN: [smiles coldly] Jee Malik Jee! You are a real game
changer! You are No.1. Rosli told me that uncertainty over
foreign workers remained unresolved. We can play our game!
This is our time.
MALIK; [in a rush] As long we have enough red pigeons, every

day is our day! So don’t waste time, arrange my meeting with
President, Chamber of Commerce on this weekend. Working
lunch I mean ... I have a master plan!!!
MUJTABA: [interrupts and then requests] I want to leave.
Kindly arrange my exit Malik Sahib, I am willing to pay!
MALIK: [eagerly in friendly tone] let me see it. [Long pause]
Mujtaba, I have a long term master plan for you also, call it
Malik’s NRO for life at ease. Don’t leave Malaysia! It’s a golden
sparrow. It is Rukhsana Jehan. Don’t lose her! I can get you a
woman for just 15, 000 Ringgit. You marry her. Work for me for
one year. Pay us back the principal plus 15% Profit and here you
go! Flying with no fear! See Mujtaba, you are flying! ... Get one
year VISA, be loyal to her for five years. Have kids. Then,
Malaysia truly Asia will be for you forever. Pakistan needs your
money. Anyways both deals are open for you dear Mujtaba and
with all documents guaranteed!
17 Red Pigeons
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YOUNG MAN: [Seconds Malik] Pakistan’s barren land can be

watered with only your money Mujtaba. Be a patriotic Pakistani.
Stay here and be a man.
But remember God.
MUJTABA: [completes the sentence]…helps those who help

themselves!
Scene Three
Restaurant in airport departure area, early
morning
Outer siting area of Kualalumpur Airport, Sky is dark grey and
rain is expected to come anytime, three sided open restaurant,
Mobile companies’ stalls are in abundance. Mujtaba is wearing
new Malaysian T- Shirt but still wearing his old white joggers.
He is thinking with his brown eyes and very quiet. Suddenly,
Mujtaba turns his face in the other direction from the exit sign.
MUJTABA: [talks directly to the audience] I need to call Maa
jee to tell her that I am coming. Her Laali is coming! What do
you think? Ahn! But I have nothing to present her as a gift. I am
giftless.
[Pause]
But I am her gift! Bastard Malik has taken all of my savings!
God helps those who help themselves! But you know, [becomes
exited] she is one who loves me for what I am. She has to be
treated, diabetes is growing in her blood and I’m on my way to
get her treated from a specialist doctor.
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Dr. Taimur Kayani
[Pause]
But what would I tell everybody in the village? That I am
penniless now, and I have wasted myself. I came here with one
lakh and now leaving Malaysia with nothing.
[Pause]
I come from a small town, where everybody would know what
had happened. What Sheeda Teli and Allah Ditta will say? There
is a cruel world out there, they will say, You Heejra 18! They will
hiss at me, Mujtaba. I won’t able to face my friends, to tolerate
their hidden sarcasm.
[Pause]
But you are a real fighter! You will re-build your life with new
hopes and desires! You are not born as an artist. You become
one. Wise Lali will help you out! I have great working skills. I
will open a tea shop near Bulleh Shah Mazar. I will call it little
Malaysia Tea house ......
[Mujtaba nervously gets up and walks towards a mobile booth,
bought a card and a cup of coffee and sits back on the same
chair]
MUJTABA: [on a mobile phone] Hello, Salam whose is there?
Aapi 19! I have a good news but let me talk to Maa jee first.
API: [seems confused] Well Bahijan! She went to next village to
attend a marriage
MUJTABA: [surprised] Oh God! [Puts his hand on his heart]
And you didn’t go there?
API: [little embarrassed] Saleem is here. Talk to him.
SALEEM: [exited] Jee Bhai Jaan! How are you? Long-time no
18 Transgender
19 Elder Sister
84
No Exit
talk! I have good news! I just bought a new car and planning to
use it in Uber Company. People enjoy car ride, new technology.
Bhai Jaan! Are you listening?
MUJTABA: [upset] No, Well! Saleem, when I can talk to Maa
jee yaar?
SALEEM: I don’t know when she will come back.
MUJTABA: [suspiciously] she rarely goes out but for the last six
months... Why she is always outside Saleem? How’s her diabetes
Saleem, I am worried. When the last time she visited the Dr.
Akbar’s clinic? Tell me!
SALEEM: [silence] OK!!! Well! [Don’t tell him that Ma jee died
six month ago. He will stop sending the money, remember you
have bought car on installment and next installment is due in a
week or so; in a low voice Aapi advises Saleem from the behind]
MUJTABA: [with a sinking heart, heaves a deep sigh] well I will
call later.
[Mujtaba hangs up dramatically and sits down on the same seat,
breathing heavily, feeling insecure ... long Silence. looks outside,
then up]
MUJTABA: [getting emotional] where are you my Laali? [He
does not find him on sky. He keeps looking upward ...] Come!
Lali come! [Mujtaba strokes his chest] come out! Where are
you? Oh! Look my Laali! Don’t leave me alone, I need you!
This is the fight of my life, I have lost my only hope, my central
connection to home’s courtyard [Long silence again. Then all of
sudden, Mujtaba starts running...and cried once more] Laali look
at me, Stupid Laali look at me! He spread his hand like wings..
[His voice spread far and wide in the vastness. painful silence]
[Rain starts to pour in and after few yards of running he comes
back again to airport’s restaurant and sits there, quietly drinks
85
Dr. Taimur Kayani
the last sip of the coffee, straights his back. Suddenly Mujtaba’s
mobile phone rings]
MUJTABA: Oh! Phone number of Kasur! Who can call? Ma
jee! Let me take the call Hello! Who is speaking?
SHEEDA TELI: Oye Jaani! This is Sheeda Tali. Sorry to call
you so early. Very busy yaar!
MUJTABA: [interrupts] means your tea stall is going good,
excellent!
SHEEDA TELI: Actually, I am busy in winding up things! I left
the Tea stall business a year ago, went to Lahore, now work as a
driver. But! cannot manage to meet my ends here! Inflation and
joblessness has killed us Yaar! Your time was good. Laughter
everywhere! You lover of a hot tea!
MUJTABA: Why work as a driver? Why not open yours own tea
stall in Lahore? Nobody makes tea like Sheeda Tali. Matter of
fact! I thought Teli means tea in Urdu!
SHEEDA TELI: Nobody flies pigeons like me either. But look I
am without a single pigeon now. Anyways, there is no cheap
space for a Tea Stall in Lahore. For a small shop you need two
lakh as a security deposit plus twenty five thousand rent a month.
Small business rarely survived in Pakistan Yaar. I am tired of my
life in Pakistan.
MUJTABA: Why don’t you put a car on Uber? Saleem told me
that it was a good business in Pakistan.
SHEEDA TELI: Well, I don’t have an elder brother like Saleem
has [laughs]
MUJTABA: Oh! I understand! How did you lose all of your
champion pigeons?
SHEEDA TELI: [frustrated] I told you I lost all of my pigeons! I
86
No Exit
gambled last year on pigeon marathon race with Choora, the

Massih, lives in the Khararpar village, my true competitor! If I
win I would have his all pigeons plus the cage. If he wins my all
Pigeons including the equipment would be his. And I lost!
Because of this bastard Laali!
MUJTABA: What Laloo, Laali, Laloo?
SHEEDA TELI: No! Son of great Laloo! Bastard Laali! Son of a
bitch! How a pious brown headed Laloo can give birth to Satan
like him? I still wonder yaar! How can a Laal Kabootar be so
cunning like a crow? He was the cleverest of all. Smooth talker,
a true western playboy! Walked like he had conquered Rome!
MUJTABA: Where he is now? I heard that he left the village?
SHEEDA TELI: Yes! He did. But the ill luck started the day he
joined our champion’s club. Problem creator from the start! The
minute I saw his sparkling red eyes, I knew he had a master plan!
Backbiter, in a nutshell, it was my bad luck that I enrolled him in
the pigeon marathon race. I thought he would engage Ibne-Noori
and Junior Jamaali with his juicy conversation and they would
not exhaust in that marathon race. He knew his audience. I
thought he was the missing piece in my racing team. But first, he
tried to convince them not to fly. He shouted, Strike friends
Strike! Flee to other destinations! This is a death race not a
pigeon race. Beware! Beware! He cautioned everybody. He was
the real monster. Son of a bitch!
MUJTABA: How do you know that he was the culprit and he
tried to convince them not to fly?
SHEEDA TELI [emotionally]: Mujtaba I was born with pigeon
flying skill. My great grandfather was the best pigeon baz in
town. I know their language inside out; their body language,
their habits, their manners, their clever smiles and even their
fears yaar. I made my tea stall outside the Kasuri gate just to
87
Dr. Taimur Kayani
observe their flight, their longitudinal cuts and u turns. I gave my

youth to them and see what they did to me! Brought zero result!
MUJTABA: No doubt! You are a champion in pigeon racing.
We are proud of you! Carry on with your story!
SHEEDA TELI: Story! My pigeon story is finished. It’s history.
Why all of sudden, you are interested in my pigeon business. Do
you want to establish it in Malaysia?
MUJTABA: I am just interested in Laali!
SHEEDA TELI: You mean Lazy Laali! I lost all of my pigeon
because of his curse. Curse of a Laal Kabootar! They say it
travels across seven skies. For me it crossed the eighth sky. I lost
all of my champion pigeons because of him in that marathon
race. If I will find him! I will butcher him! Somebody told me
that he came to the village and convinced my young birds to fly
to new destinations. Some friends saw him dancing at the Bulleh
Shah Mazar! But why are you asking me these questions?
What’s your interest in Laali?
MUJTABA: No! Just for the information sake! I missed his
company!
SHEEDA TELI: Mujtaba! Listen! Forget about pigeons! They
are unpredictable. I want to come to Malaysia. I want to start a
new life! I want to change my sky! I am sick and tired of
Pakistan. High inflation and no jobs! Too much rent and no
business! Malik will get me a visit visa, and a job in an Indian
restaurant. But I will need your help yaar! I never lived outside
of Pakistan.
MUJTABA: [shrugging his shoulders] God helps those who help
themselves! [Hang up the phone]
[Suddenly his mind becomes clear and starts speaking to
himself]
88
No Exit
MUJTABA: [firmly but tired] Listen oh Mujtaba you are a

fighter, you will re-build your life, you will create a new hope.
Forget about them! You have no obligation to them! When one
is re-inventing oneself, anywhere could be home. Find a new
place, new friends, and a new family. [He wipes out his warm
tears from his eyes and cold face, takes the last sip of the coffee
and is about to dart forward].
Meanwhile, a tall skinny Chinese girl leaves the cash counter of
the coffee shop and sits nearby. After a few silent moments she
stared at him without uttering a word and when Mujtaba realizes
he immediately makes an eye contact with her, she continued to
stare at him with surprise. They mirror each other’s movements.
They gaze into each other’s eyes with dilated pupils. Then there
is a gaze diversion. Her eyes seemed to be searching him, sizing
him up. She exposes her wrist and neck. Mujtaba twiddles his
finger nervously. A while later! He feels nothing but those dark
eyes all around him. She opens her lips and moistens them
tenderly with her tongue, dangles her shoe. Mujtaba, from that
moment on realizes that she is his kind of girl... like all of his
previous girlfriends. Suddenly, announcement pierced his ears;
PK707 is ready for boarding].
MUJTABA: [in a desperate tone] here is my fresh hope! Here is
my new burning desire! I will rebuild my life! Genius is a place,
not a person. I will embrace Malaysia... In Malaysia; I can enter
a world of possibility and re-imagine my future. Sometimes the
community we need is right in front of us [he smiles again to the
Chinese girl in front of him and then turn the face towards the
audience]. Look I am wise enough, Laali! Don’t worry about me
anymore! I am through.
[Mujtaba takes the wrinkled ticket and the passport out of his left
pocket of his blue jeans, straights it and then tears the ticket into
pieces, but carefully puts the passport in the front pocket of his
89
Dr. Taimur Kayani
Malaysian shirt, coldly smiles and throws the pieces of ticket in

the dustbin and wipes out his both hands, lights go off. The noise
of pigeon’s flight is heard in the dark].
90
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The Paradoxical World of an Illegal Immigrant

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The Paradoxical World of an Illegal Immigrant

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NO EXIT

A Three Acts Play

DR. TAIMUR KAYANI

“Land of Unfulfilled Desires”

Praise about the Play - NO EXIT

1. No Exit may be Dr. Taimur Kayani’s first play but he is not

stretch. (Dr. Rosli Bin Talif, Universiti Putra Malaysia)

12- Taimur Kayani has a non-commonplace gift for writing

Dr. Taimur Kayani is the director of International Language

His next writing project is a book, titled, Modern Urdu Theatre:

Malaysia is a magnet for illegal migrant workers from countries

the millions of overseas Pakistanis needs to be re-examined. It

between his unstable choices and unlimited desires in pursuit of

embarrassed but that’s way it is. Unlike Mujtaba, Laali is too

My special thanks go to Shahid Nadeem at Ajoka Theatre for

both encouraged me to the core to finish this project on illegal

The first memory of Dr. Kayani is imprinted on canvas of my

No Exit is well articulated by a man who invested four years of

MUJTABA/ HADEV/MICHAEL: The protagonist of the play

MAA: The old aged mother of Mujtaba, highly strict, preaches

FATHER JOHNNY: Funny, self-indulged, womanizer and

GEORGE: An Opportunist, supervisor of the cleaning crew.

SHEEDA TELI: A Pigeon expert, an aspirant for illegal

Production Notes for Stage Design and Direction

1) The play starts in an urban space of a working- class

Restaurant Church Court Room Airport

Diagram: Stage Setting for No Exit

and then church and finally the airport area is spotlighted in

10) There is close symbolic connection between a racing red

Production Notes for Costumes:

Production Notes for Costumes of Father

Costume for FATHER:

Production Notes for Costumes of SUSANA:

Production Notes for other Characters Like HARDEV,

A handsome, young and South Asian decedent man in his late

1 Usually a name of Sikh in Indian Punjab

have only ordered Roti canai 3 today. Where is it?

3 Traditional south Indian paratha with lental gravy

change is coming, my lord give me a piece of peace!

Immigration raid, late afternoon till evening

HARDEV: [recovers himself immediately] Namaste 8 Geeta jee!

HARDEV: Trust me, I will mark my attendance and take a short

GEETA: You mean Bhajan Bhagawan8!

POLICE OFFICER: There! Where, now a woman is siting and

MANAGER: Yes! Right there officer, what’s the matter?

On the road with Laali

11 A traditional Muslim name.

LAALI: Really! Share your secret, boy; your heart will be

HARDEV: Oh Laali! I was just kidding.

LAALI: Stick to the girlfriend business. I am interested in that!

where I stand, make love, take meals and do job: so I have to

HARDEV: No, I am the hero of my story.

LAALI: A wonderful idea! You and I will be on the cover page

LAALI: Enter it, we will face it.

[Mujtaba becomes relaxed after a while, Laali starts to cut jokes

MUJTABA [embarrassed]: Well still you didn’t tell me about

MUJTABA: Sorry Laali, forgive me.

[ A young girl, long heighted but underweight, with heavy make-

MUJTABA: [re-covers himself] Sweet heart, my Susana!

Welcome to our forum of sharing stories!

YOUNG TALL GIRL: I have selected my forum to share my

MUJTABA: Yes sweet heart! We have lot to catch up!