Family Problems

by CA

Family is a socially recognized unit of people related to each other by kinship or by

marital and legal ties. It is characterized by having a common residence, shared financial
resources, cooperation among its members and commitment to a common goal in life. Having
children is the ultimate goal of a family.

Children are blessings it keeps the family to have a happy life. But there is no such
perfect family. Every family is unique with its own strengths and weaknesses. There are many
kinds of families. Some of them have two parents, others have only one parent. Sometimes
there is no parent and children are raised by their grandparent. Some children were raised by
foster families, adoptive families or in stepfamilies.

Every family has its own problems. But sometimes these family problem or conflict
becomes too much. As we see conflicts is part of family life. No matter how we avoid this kind of
issues in family life, there will always be.

Family has its different kinds of problems. These include SEPARATION (often be a
couples first step to improve their relationship, although it can also be the first step towards a
break up or worst a divorce), DIVORCE (the ending of a marriage by a legal process/complete
separation between couples, the most painful experience of a family), AN ALCOHOLIC OR
DRUG ADDICTED PARENT (parents that are addicted to alcoholic drinks and forbidden drugs,
it can probably not able to take care of their children), AN ABUSED/ABUSIVE PARENT (abused
parents low self-esteem may keep them from seeking help to escape their abusive
relationship/abusive parents who abuse their children by hurting them physically, sexually or
emotionally), PARENTS WHO NAG OR CRITICIZE (parents who have a hard time realizing that
their children are growing up and becoming more independent, sometimes they put down their
children self-esteem), PARENTS THAT ARE OVERPROTECTIVE (parents who make rules,
sometimes they keep down their children from exploring life), PARENTS WHO FIGHT (parents
who fight physically in front of their children) AND A PARENTS REMARRIAGE (after a previous
marital union has ended, parents remarry to satisfy their needs in life).

These problems can affect not only the parents but especially the children, although we
know that parents are also going through a difficult time. Children needs affection, some
children doesn’t understand all of these circumstances, that is because they are young or they
are lack of explanation from their parents that’s why they don’t get what the problem is.

Ongoing family problems are stressful, and it can trigger other physical or psychological
symptoms. The pressure of divorce could create psychological problems for the kids. Anxiety,
depression, speech defects and stress are all common occurrences when it comes to divorce.
Sometimes these symptoms distract kids from their schooling, making it more difficult to focus
on schoolwork. Even with divorced parents the fighting can still go on and even get worse. The
yelling over the phone can cause kids into a downward spiral emotionally. We’re not saying that
all divorces are negative, it depends on the adults.
 Parents need to communicate to each other not only through their kids. Parents should
always remember that they shouldn’t involve their kids. Some kids feel that they can fix their
parents relationship and that can be their new priority. They eventually lose focus on school
because they thought that home life is more important.
Kids with a parent who isn’t around often feel like no one cares for them that no one will
stay in their life, they’ll be lonely because they thought their parents doesn’t want them. It’s a
thought that never leaves their mind.

Problems, conflicts, challenges, and circumstances are difficult to deal with, but we can
resolve everything, we can find ways to solve problems, we can work out on it. First of all there
should be a source of love and support.

For the children/kids/teenagers, don’t blame yourself or your parents if they separate,
they are adults and they are trying to work out problems. Feel the pain, but don’t keep it in
yourself. If your parents are not in good condition or they are fighting don’t take sides you’ll only
make it worse, be fair to your parents. Understand each parent’s point of view. Try to talk to
someone you trust about how the problem is affecting you. Talking to someone you trust can
lessen the pain or the thoughts that are bothering you. Take care of yourself as well. Show them
that you are listening, and you understand their fears. Keep them up on the important things
going in your life. Share your weaknesses and your hard moments. Know that your parents only
want what’s best for you, they love you and they don’t want you to get hurt. Told them what you
really feel and what really bothers you. Make good memories with your mom and dad/family.

For parents, show love, appreciation, affection, and interest to your children. Give time
for them, bond with them. They only want to feel that you care. Communicate with your children.
Explain the problem to them so that they can understand. Be patient. Encourage your children
so that their self-esteem would build up. Do not compare them with others. They will only feel
that you dislike them for being their self.

Listening to each other’s point of view and working to resolve conflicts are important in
strengthening the family.