RUNNING HEAD: CONFLICT MANAGEMENT 1

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

JULIANA AYO OLATAIRVBOHI

COM 1090: INTERPERSSONAL COMMUNICATION

Professor: Dr. CLOVER Baker-Brown

PRINCE GEORGES COMMUNITY COLLEGE

25 OCTOBER 2021

PART 1
CONFLICT MANAGEMENT 2

CONFLICT

The concept of conflict refers to some form of friction, disagreement, or discord arising

within a group when the beliefs or actions of one or more members of the group are either

resisted by or unacceptable to one or more members of another group[ CITATION Qui21 \l 1033 ].

Michael Nicholson defines conflict as an activity which takes place when individuals or

groups wish to carry out mutually inconsistent acts concerning their wants, needs or

obligations[ CITATION Mar21 \l 1033 ].

Conflict and culture are terms that are interchangeable used, in conflict different interest

and interpretations occur. This is due to the fact that, rather than a pure legal or economic

concern being at the heart of the debate, there are intrinsic concerns that are less apt to be dealt

with rationally. If the difference I culture of different races or stakeholders was handled “head

on” and creatively a solution to this might have been created:

CONFLICT SCENARIO

Dealing with people especially when it comes to work is very stressing. My conflict

situation goes thus;

I got employed by a company in which my friend also already an employee, after a

period of time the manager left and the company needed to employ a new manager and the

company choose me over my co-workers i.e those workers who I came and met and others who

came behind me. At first sight I didn’t notice the jealousy that had rooted in my friend. So when

I gave orders from above he snubbed them though I had a bossy attitude which for me I think

was normal. One day he said “he started working before me and I got promoted which was not

normal”. There were times where some workers came to work late and they kept giving excuses
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but I had to do my job because it was either me or them because if the superiors knew work

wasn’t effective because of tolerance I could have lost my job.

Managing the conflict

Managing conflicts is not an easy task as one person must set his/her ego aside but nevertheless

for a safe and better communication it is worth doing it.

In the beginning I didn’t care about the attitude I was focused on getting the work done at

all cost. I gave orders with boldness and called out the workers under me who misbehaved and

my friend couldn’t stand it. I threatened to report those who always misbehaved at work so they

will be sanctioned. At this point I Felt I was the boss (at the top of everyone). I remember several

times where I raised my voice at workers aged than me.

To try solve the problem, I approached I approached my friend because I knew solving

this conflict had to begin from within before going outside. I told him “I know it is an

uncomfortable situation and I wish our relationship stands”.

Later on I went ahead to create an avenue for the other workers to express their thought

and where they can feel listened, understood and respected.

Next I tried to see the difference in opinions and see how we can come to an agreement to

solve the given conflict.

As a manager my job was to coordinate work and be effective because that is what I was

paid to do. I do understand that unforeseen issues do arise and take us unaware and also they

thought I was strict that was due to fact I always wanted everyone to be on time and I wasn’t

jovial. When you give room for some relaxing time they abuse of it and think I will tolerate but

as I said getting the job well one was what I wanted.

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Actually I don’t think I would have done anything differently but I knew I failed when I

didn’t always give a listening ear to some of their complains. I remember someone had to do a

medical checkup and he didn’t tell me, when he arrived and I was questioning him and he was

very rude telling me his wouldn’t die because of work, obviously its true but he had to inform me

so I manage his shift and according to I had changed and I wasn’t as before.

Also I would have refused the promotion on another though but because some people

almost lost their jobs because they received warnings and I didn’t wanted to be the cause of their

dismissal. If someone had been sacked it would have haunted me which might have made me to

lose focus.

Being tentative about others behavior is important because we don’t know what caused

the behavior. Some behaviors are caused because of circumstances, so before drawing a

conclusion to someone’s behavior we should seek to understand what is causing the behavior and

see if we can help.

The feelings I had during this conflict were disappointment, worked out and fear. I was

disappointed due to the fact that my friend in whom I put my trust was jealous and our friendship

had fallen apart. I felt sad for the aged people because at this point my feelings were mixed. Ti

thought I was disrespecting them but on the other hand I had to do my job by being strict. Lastly

I felt worked out because I had to cover for them always got me thinking on how to find a way

out for them not to be sacked by always ensuring the work is done and putting extra hours.

Eventually during the conflict I had mixed feelings, there were times I didn’t know what

to think because I wanted to be angry but at the same time I did not want my anger to take over

me because I had to be calm to be able to tackle the conflict without hurting others feelings.
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If feelings were not expressed communication will be very difficult and hence impact

message transmission negatively. I am someone who if I you wrong me or say something I am

not in accord with or which hurts me I keep it for myself and take my decisions.

The factors foe me which can cause someone not to express his/her feelings is personality

because you wouldn’t want others to see you as a bad person because they might get an image of

you which you are not and fear to hurt the other person or lose them.

It would be difficult to overcome barriers in order to express your feeling but definitely

there will always be conflict and we will have to fight them some day. For this to happen you

must not care about what people think about you.

While conflicts arise like money, marital issues for example, some feelings might not be

favorable because it might lead to fight and maybe lives may be lost. Feelings such are anger are

very detrimental.

In order to find out how others feel when situations arise try to understand why they are

the way they are by politely asking or giving them free time to put their selves together, also be

friendly, come out with emergency rules for the workers, a company therapist can be employed,

in some cases some people will open up to you. But this will not happen in all cases particularly

those of introverts.

In conclusion in order to manage conflicts effectively always seek to understand the other

parties and don’t be quick to judge because resolutions might be taken which will have a life

time effect.

PART II: ASSESSING YOUR CONFLICT STYLES

Conflict Styles
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Conflict is frequently best understood by examining the consequences of colorful actions at

moments in time. These actions are usefully distributed according to conflict styles. Each style is

a way to meet one's requirements in a disagreement but may impact other people in different

ways (wisdom_madison).

Conflict #1:

Often time’s students want to be the best in their classroom. There will always be

competition in class for the first position. I remember when I was in secondary school and I had

a course mate who will always get angry when anyone is above him in a course and he always

wanted to be heard, we weren’t friends because of the competition that was among us and the

tone he always spoke to people, so we always saw each other as a rival rather than a friend

because he always said he was the best.

The conflict style that represents the description above is the competitive which is a style

in which bone's own requirements are supported over the requirements of others. It relies on an

aggressive style of communication, low regard for unborn connections, and the exercise of

coercive power. Those in competitive style always want to have control at all levels. They sweat

that loss of similar control will affect in results that fail to meet their requirements. Contending

tends to affect in responses that increase the position of trouble.

Competition is very good but what I noticed when I went forward was that the

competition I was doing way back was against someone rather than improving myself. It was a

bad competition because in this case if he scored 12/20 I will be wishing I had scored 13 and

above. I spent a most part of my time comparing myself to people rather than setting my own
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standards. If I had the opportunity to go back I should have set myself as the reference. Also I

think he bullied me which I should have reacted back.

Conflict #2:

As a kid we always have dreams and amongst these dreams we also have

crushes(someone we love). I remember back in secondary school I loved my bench mate but I

couldn’t tell him because I was shy and scared. So every time I see him will dodge him, always

avoiding him so I wouldn’t talk to him. When we graduated he left for a different university out

of my state and I have not heard of him till date.

The conflict style that represents the description over is the compromising which is an

approach to conflict in which people gain and give in a series of dickers. While satisfactory,

concession is generally not satisfying. We each remain shaped by our individual comprehensions

of our requirements and do not inescapably understand the other side veritably well. We

frequently retain a lack of trust and avoid threat- taking involved in further cooperative actions.

One of the killer instincts in humans is fear to express themselves because they are afraid

of failure or rejection. If I was importuned to go back in the past I would have told him how I felt

about him. I had to forgo my need fr his.

PART III: WIN-WIN PREBLEM SOLVING

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Also known as confronting the problem or solving the problem Collaboration involves an

attempt to work with the other person to find a win-win solution to the problem at hand come to

an agreement that satisfies both parties. The win-win approach sees conflict resolution as an

opportunity to come to a mutually beneficial result. It includes identifying your opponent’s

underlying concerns and finding an alternative which meets each party's concerns [ CITATION

HRP21 \l 1033 ].

The Human needs theory is significant and important as it shows us how conflicts can be

managed and resolved through the satisfaction of basic human needs. Human Needs can be

defined as ‘State of felt deprivation and necessity which have to be satisfied[CITATION JBu \l

1033 ].’

Need for well being

The need of well-being are needs which humans need to ensure their well-being and

sustainable growth. My Dad is the object of discussion. I come from an average family where

our needs weren’t provided and we had to struggle to provide some of our basic needs such as

clothing. My dad (an African Dad) as we will say knew he had to father children and didn’t

know the responsibilities it entailed. I constantly felt ashamed by the ones had compare to my

peers.

Choosing the time, date and avenue for discussion is very important because all the

parties must be in an agreement. On the 17th October 2021i had an online call with my uncle who

is in Nigeria.

This includes material and immaterial resources which human need to acquire

development and self-growth. I felt inferior compared to others that it always kept me thinking
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on how to make money. This had negative effects one because I couldn’t study effectively

because my mind was crowded with how to make money. So with this I aimed at working hard

to provide myself with the needs.

While we engaged into the discussion my partner understood me well and to an extent he

said it could be partly because of peer pressure.

He was very sad and guilty that he had neglected a vital aspect that is vital for effective

human growth and he said it will hunt him all his life but that from now on he will try his best to

provide for me.

When a parent fails to bring up a child fairly there will be adverse effects especially when

the parties come to compromise, there will be regrets. The Abraham Maslow hierarchy of needs

can better explain this. The diagram below gives a picture view of Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy

of needs. This illustration is done using a pyramid. The bottom or lowest most level of the

pyramid represents basic survival essential needs such as need for food, water, shelter etc,

whereas the more complex needs are placed at the top of the pyramid such as self-actualization –

need for development, creativity. Maslow advocates that when this needs are taken care of, the

human being graduates to higher and more complex in nature[ CITATION Abr43 \l 1033 ].

The both parties originated from average homes where thriving was the main aim.so my

dad thought since they went through successful we didn’t need them but forgot the world is

evolving.

We came to a resolution, setting aside some cash for basic needs, always in constant

communication for checkups, acknowledge difficult situations exist and the needs wouldn’t be

constantly available, be friendly, set goals attached to some needs.

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Solving conflicts is essential but it comes with a price setting money aside to satisfy a

single child’s need will help the child with his\her self-esteem but might increase cost of living,

increasing the level of communication will bring persons together but it cannot be frequent,

being sympathetic and putting someone I another’s shoe but sometimes the ego can take the top

and misunderstandings may arise, being friendly doesn’t come with a disadvantage, the best way

is earn as you work, I remember when my friends used to tell me their parents promised to buy

them gifts when they pass exams but at this level I was working to please my dad indirectly.

The best resolution was setting goals related to achievement i.e buying the needs after

achieving a set goal.

The period of time was very short to do analysis but from analysis above a positive

change will definitely be recorded.

This conflict situation is only similar in a way that a conflict will always be a conflict no

matter what it is. In the latter it’s not found on am emotional basis and you cannot show your

feelings about it. If you have need you might be fearful to express yourself because you are

afraid it might have negative consequences. Solving the other conflict in the two cases was very

different but conflicts management do have similarities like setting out an appropriate time

which convenient for both parties.

I think if this conflict was to be resolved back in this days it would have been different in

a sense that I wouldn’t have resolved it at all due to fear (silent) which is a feeling difficult to

detect except you open up.

The no –lose method is one of the best methods for conflict management because here

firstly both parties have to identify the problem and agree, ask each other to free his/her mind
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and try to understand why the conflict came up and try to create a solution. If the conflict isn’t

resolved new evaluating alternatives are used. This method is good mostly for couple or peers.

The behaviours that ar important here are focus, communication, honesty, optimism and

enthusiasm.
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References

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https://link.springer.com/content/pdf/bfm%3A978-1-349-21000-8%2F1.pdf
Center, M. C. (n.d.). Mariam Conflict Reolution Center. Retrieved 2021, from mariancrc:
http://mariancrc.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/CONFLICT-AND-PEACE.pdf
HRPersonality. (n.d.). HRPersonality. Retrieved 2021, from HRPersonality:
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Win%20%28Collaborating%29%20Also%20known%20as%20confronting%20the
%20problem,that%20most%20satisfies%20the%20concerns%20of%20both%20parties.
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%20conflict.
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flash-cards/
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