Family, Friends, and Significant Other

Quality time. This was the result that I got when I answered The 5 Languages Profile of
Gary Chapman (2009). As explained last discussion, this is how I feel most loved by the people
around me. So I began to think back and realized that (1) quality time with friends and significant
others is a need for me to feel that I am special to them, (2) acts of service from family is when I
feel most loved rather than having some quality time, and (3) my expression of love depends on
how am I feeling and how I read the people.

Since I was in high school, I always would want to stay after school hours to bond and
hangout with my friends. We’d be rather in a mall, a fast food chain, or a nearby house of a
classmate. My parents were strict so when I have a chance to spare a little time, I would take that
opportunity. Throughout college, this quality did not fade and as my parents have trusted me
enough to take care of myself, I started organizing catch up dates with my friends.

For a significant other, I think it’s the same as with my friends. I value our quality time the
most but for the purposes now of knowing what kind of person is he – what are his likes and
dislikes, what kind of background does he has. It is when I know the person and it’s like my gauge
whether I’m his priority or not. However, quality time is not a necessary for me when it comes to
my family. I grew up living with my relatives but as time passed by, they have started migrating
here and there. Quality time may be one way, when we see each other but I think I feel most love
when they do acts of service for me.

There was this one time that I visited my sister in the US, however my other relatives live in
Canada and I wasn’t able to get a visa since my sisters and I don’t have plans in going to Canada.
But a few days after, my sister told me that we’ll be celebrating Christmas at Buffalo which is 3-4
hour drive away from Burlington, Canada. I was glad that my relatives there drove across the border
just to spend a day or two with me. To me, that’s an act of service and I felt really loved when they
did that.

However, it never consciously occurred to me if this is also how I express my love towards the people
that I love. But as I reflected on these questions, I don’t have a specified trait when expressing love.
Thus, I think that my expression of love depends on how am I feeling and how I read the people.