PART ONE

Objectives

Write a factual report on a native Australian animal that includes at least seven facts.

Use 3 factual adjectives found in research to create a report about a native Australian
animal.

Write a report using the correct informative tone of voice, without giving an opinion, on a
native Australian animal.

SCSA Curriculum Links

English Year 4
Language – Language for Interaction
Understand differences between the language of opinion and feeling and the language of
factual reporting or recording (ACELA1489).

English Year 4
Language – Expressing and Developing Ideas
Incorporate new vocabulary from a range of sources into students’ own texts including
vocabulary encountered in research (ACELA1498)
 WORK SAMPLE ANNOTATIONS

Uses elements of structure and

logical detail to create written,
digital and multimodal texts for
different audiences.
Provides a description as a
simple introduction.

Creates texts, experimenting

with the use of images and
detail to extend key ideas.
Provides brief description with
some detail included, e.g. ‘… so
they can protect themselves’,
‘… and also found in Tasmania’,
‘… like ants, larvae, worm,
termits (termites) and grubs’.

Creates texts, experimenting

with the use of images and
detail to extend key ideas.
Uses some factual adjectives,
e.g. ‘brown peachy colour’, ‘…
weigh about 7kgs …’.

Creates texts, experimenting

with the use of images and
detail to extend key ideas.
Uses a range of action verbs to
describe the echidna,
e.g. ‘protect’, ‘eat’, ‘curl up’.

Uses simple pronouns and

connectives, and varied
sentence structures with some
punctuation accuracy, to create
coherence and add detail to
their texts.
Repeated use of the pronoun
‘they’.

Uses elements of structure and

logical detail to create written,
digital and multimodal texts for
different audiences.
Includes a conclusion with an
impersonal evaluative
statement, e.g. ‘… surprisingly
they are related to spiny ant
eaters’.

2017/42845 English: Year 4 Satisfactory Achievement Work Sample 2

 Name: Charlie

Native Australian Animals: Report Writing

English Year 4
Language – Language for Interaction
Understand differences between the language of opinion and feeling and the language of factual reporting or recording (ACELA1489).

English Year 4
Language – Expressing and Developing Ideas
Incorporate new vocabulary from a range of sources into students’ own texts including vocabulary encountered in research (ACELA1498)

Check Grade Comments

Objective One Charlie included 8 facts in their
Factual Report report on Echidnas. The facts were
- A minimum of seven facts High (B) informative and related to
are included in the report. appearance, distribution, diet and
behaviour.
Objective Two Charlie’s tone of voice was
Tone of Voice unbiased throughout their report,
- Writing is unbiased and Satisfactory (C) however it was informal. For a
informative rather than higher grade Charlie should
opinionated attempt to reduce words such as
‘like’.
Objective Three Charlie included three adjectives
Factual Adjectives in their text – spiney (sic), brown
- Student included a Satisfactory (C) peachy, prikely (sic).
minimum of three factual
adjectives found in their
research.
Comments: Grade: Satisfactory - C
Charlie produced a satisfactory report. The facts presented were interesting and covered a range of areas. However, for a higher grade in animal report
writing, Charlie should aim to write one fact about each of the following - habitat, diet, appearance, distribution, behaviours, predators and weight. Charlie
covered most areas, however they didn’t include habitat and predators which are both key attributes to animal report writing that was discussed with the
class prior to commencing the piece of writing. A lovely piece of work and a great achievement for a year 4! J
Teacher: Mrs Roberts
 Feedback

The teacher will provide the student with written feedback on the physical report, as well as on the

checklist used to assess the piece of writing. In the comments on the checklist I used the Effective

Feedback Model to answer the following questions:

Where am I going?

Charlie produced a satisfactory report. The facts presented were interesting and covered a range of

areas.

A lovely piece of work and a great achievement for a year 4.

How am I going?

Charlie covered most areas, however they didn’t include habitat and predators which are both key

attributes to animal report writing that was discussed with the class prior to commencing the piece of

writing.

Where to next?

However, for a higher grade in animal report writing, Charlie should aim to write one fact about each

of the following - habitat, diet, appearance, distribution, behaviours, predators and weight.

As this was a satisfactory piece of work I would not schedule a conference with the parent. However,

if a student produced a limited level of work I would ask to discuss their feedback.

I attempted to incorporate Blackmore’s idea related to education assessment and pedagogy.

Blackmore puts a heavy weight on the role of feedback in assessment and in the learning environment

(Brady & Kennedy, 2012). I attempted to give my student has much constructive feedback as possible,

whilst still following the effective feedback model of feed up, feed back and feed forward.
 Cognitive Commentary

Feedback is an essential component of student achievement and the assessment process.

Brady and Kennedy (2012) believe that providing feedback helps students improve their learning and

therefore needs to be conducted after assessments. ‘Assessment for learning’ is a great philosophy to

keep in mind when conducting assessment and feedback as it provides the context for what to teach

next and how to teach it. Teachers need to provide feedback to their students so they are held

accountable for their own learning and continue to flourish into lifelong 21st century learners and

thinkers. By providing feedback, teachers are scaffolding this notion and prompting students to have

more success. By providing feedback, teachers are also establishing classrooms that reflect concern –

concern for learning, progress and the individual students (Brady & Kennedy, 2012). This all prompts

further development of metacognitive thinking as students are able to contemplate their thinking

whilst producing work.

I used a checklist as my assessment tool because my objectives were very specific. My

assessment is fit for purpose and created solely for this unit of work. It follows the checklist strategy

outlined in Brady and Kennedy (2012) on page 61. It includes the objective being assessed, if it was

met or not, a grade for the objective and room for comments. The assessment was valid as it answered

the validity questions:

“What do I want students to be able to do?”

For this task I wanted students to be able to write a report using new language found in their

research, use facts to write a report and use factual adjectives.

“Does the assessment task help me to answer that question?”

Yes. The assessment task was the report and was measured against a checklist. The report proved

that students were able to write a report using factual adjectives found in their research, 8 facts

and a tone of voice free of bias and opinion.

Based on this assessment strategy I was able to develop clear feedback to pass onto the student and

acknowledge where the learning needed to improve. This allows for ‘assessment for learning’ (Brady

& Kennedy, 2012) as from this assessment task the teacher can establish what to teach next and where

to take the learning.

Based on the curriculum and the work sample I created three objectives. I believe the work

sample is satisfactory or a C grade. They included 8 facts in their writing, included three factual

adjectives and used a bias free tone of voice. The facts were interesting, however they did not cover

all the necessary points - habitat, diet, appearance, distribution, behaviours, predators and weight.

Distribution, diet, appearance, behaviours and weight were covered which was great, however if they

had covered all points the grade would have been higher. The student also included three factual

adjectives, which they found in the research. This was the minimum for a satisfactory grade. The

student used an unbiased tone of voice which was great, however their language was quite informal.

Prior to completing the moderation I believed the work sample was of a C grade and I based

my objectives on this piece of work being satisfactory as I believe Echidnas should be the base level of

a what a year four student can achieve. The moderation was interesting as my partner and I disagreed

on what the grade rewarded should be. I believed the work was satisfactory, awarding a C grade and

my partner believed the work was high, awarding a B grade. We agreed to disagree because our

objectives both measured different achievements. My objectives were based on SCSA ACELA1489 and

ACELA1498, which related to the tone report writing upholds and using new language found in

research. My partner’s objectives were based on the reporting writing process. Therefore, we were

measuring different components of the work sample. I am happy with my grade because according to

my objectives the student did a satisfactory piece of work. They included the correct number of facts,

used the minimum number of factual adjectives found in their research and used an unbiased tone of

voice. These three key facts attributed to my grade of satisfactory. This moderation task taught me

that it is okay to disagree but there needs to be strong evidence to back up both sides. From this
moderation my next step would be to work with Joseph to create objectives for our next task and

moderate again. Moderation is a key component of ensuring assessment is fair as if my student was

in his class they would have received a higher grade and ultimately that is not fair. Therefore, I would

propose a plan to work together on the next task so students were assessed the same across both

classes.