MAKE A TEAM?

MORE LIKE BREAK A TEAM

Dear Managers everywhere,
I know that managing a team isn't straightforward and you're endeavouring to do the
best you can. Your team can sometimes be unaccommodating, fall out over the most
trivial of things or just plain refuse to cooperate. When that happens, you definitely
need to step in and take action. But let me tell you something – nothing, and I mean
NOTHING, can break a team more than a team-building day. And here's why.

Last month, my team manager decided my co-workers and I lacked cohesion as a

team, so she organised a team-building day. It got off to a flying start with coffee and
doughnuts at a high-class hotel. 1However, it was soon transformed into our worst
nightmare. The first part of the day was dedicated to acquiring a new skill. For some
reason known only to herself, our manager had decided that dancing would be that
skill. As someone completely lacking in any sense of rhythm, my heart literally stopped
at the prospect. Except for a few obligatory and extremely awkward moves on the
dance floor at weddings, I'd never actually danced in public before. Not only that, but I
was paired with the most naturally gifted dancer ever to grace the dance floor. Lucky
me.

For hours and hours, I slipped and stumbled through the routines, breaking all my
partner's toes in the process and 2apologising a million times. I felt like we'd got on
before the team-building day. Now I felt sure we'd never speak again.

Lunch was a welcome respite. I was both parched and ravenous. However, we were
led to the kitchen and instructed to conjure up our own meal in some kind of
collaborative exercise. Let me tell you that it was less collaboration and more like a free
for all for starving animals. I ended up with a few wilted lettuce leaves and one tomato.

My body ached where I didn't know I even had muscles, so I was glad to hear that the
afternoon activity would involve sitting down. That delight didn't last long. For 90
interminable minutes, we sat cross legged on the floor in a circle, holding hands as part
of a group meditation activity. The room was sweltering at around two hundred degrees
and 3sweat dripped from our hands like a leaking tap. Nice. Within the first three
seconds, my legs had died and I could no longer feel below my knee. Relaxation?
More like torture.

The final activity was the icing on the cake. We all had to tell each other something we
didn't like about them. That's right – didn't like. I refused to participate, 4earning me a
look from my boss so fiery that I thought I'd combust on the spot. Of course, I did
get to hear about all the things that my colleagues loathe about me so that was great
fun!

So, what was the effect of our team-building day? We've basically gone from a team
which used to get on to a decent degree, to one that reluctantly communicates through
email when only absolutely essential. It's literally broken our team. So, managers, think
about that the next time the words team and building go through your head at the same
time.