PERSONAL CONFLICT STYLES QUESTIONNAIRE

OBJECTIVES AND METHOD

• To help you become more aware of your personal approach to conflict.

This aims to show you your preferred conflict style (your ‘default’
setting). This is the style that costs you the least amount on energy to
step into. It is not saying that this is the only style you can use. It is
possible for all of us to act in each style. However, we all have a
preferred style which is what this questionnaire aims to highlight.

You are presented with 12 situations that you are likely to encounter in your
personal or professional lives. Each situation has five possible responses.
Allocate 10 points between each possible response, with the highest number
of points indicating your strongest response. You can allocate the 10 points as
you wish as long as the total for each situation is 10

Example

Upon experiencing strong feelings in a conflict situation you would:

Points
A Enjoy the emotional release and exhilaration
1
B Enjoy the strategy and challenge of the conflict
3
C Become serious about how others are feeling and thinking
0
D Find it frightening, expecting someone to get hurt
4
E Become convinced that there is nothing you can do to resolve the
issue 2

POINTS SHOULD ADD UP TO A TOTAL OF 10

(If you feel extremely strongly about a particular response you can allocate 10 for one
response and 0 for the others).

It might be helpful to keep a single frame of reference in mind (eg. Work

related, family or social conflicts) and keep the same frame in mind when
answering your questions. It is a possibility that you have a different preferred
style at work from when you are around family.

You will find that situations 1-6 focus on your individual reactions and feelings
when faced with conflicts, whilst 7-12 concentrate more on how you interact in
a group setting.

This is NOT a test and the questionnaire is helpful to you only in so far as you
accurately represent your characteristic responses. Try not to think too much
about the question. Be wary of answering how you would like to be in an ideal
world as opposed to how you really are!

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SITUATION 1
Upon experiencing strong feelings in a conflict situation you would:

Points
A Enjoy the emotional release and exhilaration

B Enjoy the strategy and challenge of the conflict

C Become serious about how others are feeling and thinking

D Find it frightening, expecting someone to get hurt

E Become convinced that there is nothing you can do to resolve the

issue

POINTS SHOULD ADD UP TO A TOTAL OF 10

SITUATION 2
Consider the following statements and rate them of how characteristic
they are to your personal beliefs:
(give the highest points to the answer that is closest to what you believe)

Points
A Life is conquered by those who believe in winning

B Winning is rarely possible in conflict

C No-one has the final answer, each has a piece to contribute

D In the final analysis it is wise to turn the other cheek when

confronted (i.e. to ignore or walk away)

E It is useless to attempt to change a person who seems locked into

an opposing view

POINTS SHOULD ADD UP TO A TOTAL OF 10

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SITUATION 3
What is the best result you can expect from a conflict?

Points
A Conflict helps people face the fact that one answer is better than
others

B Conflict results in cancelling out extremes of thinking so that a

strong middle ground can be reached

C Conflict clears the air and enhances commitment and results

D Conflict demonstrates the absurdity or self-centredness and draws

people closer together in their commitment to each other

E Conflict lessens complacency and assigns blame where it belongs

POINTS SHOULD ADD UP TO A TOTAL OF 10

SITUATION 4
When you are the person with the greater authority in a conflict you
would:

Points
A Be very clear in expressing your opinions letting the others know
your viewpoint

B Try to negotiate the best settlement you can get

C Ask to hear the other feelings and seek to find a position both might
be willing to accept

D Go along with the other providing support where you can

E Keep the encounter impersonal, stating rules if they apply

POINTS SHOULD ADD UP TO A TOTAL OF 10

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SITUATION 5
When someone you care for takes an unreasonable position you would:

Points
A Tell them directly that you don’t like what they’re doing

B Let them know casually and subtly that you are not pleased,
perhaps distract with humour or try to avoid a direct clash

C Call attention to the conflict and try to find a mutually acceptable

solution

D Try to keep your misgivings to yourself

E Let your actions speak for your by indicating lack of interest

POINTS SHOULD ADD UP TO A TOTAL OF 10

SITUATION 6
When you become angry at a friend or a colleague you would:

Points
A Just explode without giving it much thought

B Try to smooth things over with a good story

C Express your anger and invite him/her to respond

D Compensate for your anger by acting the opposite of how you are
feeling
E Remove yourself from the situation

POINTS SHOULD ADD UP TO A TOTAL OF 10

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SITUATION 7
When you find yourself disagreeing with other members of a group on
an important issue you would:
Points
A Stand by your convictions and defend your position

B Appeal to the logic of the group hoping to convince at least the

majority that you are right

C Explore agreements and disagreements in the group and search

for alternatives to accommodate everybody’s view

D Go along with the rest of the group

E Not participate in discussion and not feel bound by any agreement

reached by the others

POINTS SHOULD ADD UP TO A TOTAL OF 10

SITUATION 8
When a single group member takes a position in opposition to the rest
of the group you would:

Points
A Point out publicly that the dissenting member is blocking the rest of
the group and move on without them if necessary

B Allow the dissenting member to communicate their views so that a

compromise might be reached

C Try to uncover why the dissenting member views the issue

differently so that group members can re-evaluate their positions

D Encourage the group members to set the conflict aside and go on

to more agreeable matters on the agenda

E Remain silent, thinking it best to avoid becoming involved

POINTS SHOULD ADD UP TO A TOTAL OF 10

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SITUATION 9
When you see a conflict emerging in a group you would:

Points
A Push for a quick decision and ensure the task is completed

B Avoid outright confrontation by moving the discussion towards a

middle ground

C Share with the group your impression of what is going on so that

the nature of the impending conflict can be discussed

D Forestall or divert the conflict before it emerges by relieving the

tension with humour

E Stay out of it as long as it is of no concern to you

POINTS SHOULD ADD UP TO A TOTAL OF 10

SITUATION 10
In handling conflict between your group and another you would:

Points
A Anticipate areas of resistance and prepare responses to objections
prior to open conflict

B Encourage your group to be prepared by identifying in advance

areas of mutual interest

C Recognise that the conflict is healthy and press for identification of

shared concerns and/or goals

D Promote harmony or the grounds that the only real result of conflict
is the destruction of friendly relations

E Have your group submit the issue to a reliable outsider for

discussion

POINTS SHOULD ADD UP TO A TOTAL OF 10

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SITUATION 11
In selecting a representative of your group to represent you in
discussions with another group you would choose a person who:

Points
A Has a good knowledge of your position and would press vigorously
for your point of view

B Would see that most of your judgements were incorporated into

any final agreements without alienating too many in either group

C Would best represent the ideas of your group, reflect on the

judgements of the other group and emphasise problem solving
approaches to the conflict

D Is most skilful in interpersonal relations and would be most co-

operative in approach to the other group

E Would represent your group’s position accurately, but not oblige it

to a significantly changed position

POINTS SHOULD ADD UP TO A TOTAL OF 10

SITUATION 12
In your view what is the most likely reason for one group to fail to
co-operate with another?

Points
A Lack of a clearly stated position or failure to back up the group’s
position

B Tendency of groups to force their representatives to abide by the

group’s decision as opposed to promoting flexibility which would
allow compromise

C Tendency of groups to enter negotiations seeking to win their side’s

case

D Lack of motivation among the group’s membership to live

peacefully/co-operatively with the other group

E Irresponsible behaviour among the groups’ leadership resulting in

the leaders following their own interests rather than addressing the
issues involved

POINTS SHOULD ADD UP TO A TOTAL OF 10

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 HOW TO SCORE YOUR QUESTIONNAIRE
Fill in the table below using the points you distributed in each situation.

A B C D E
Situation 1

Situation 2

Situation 3

Situation 4

Situation 5

Situation 6

Situation 7

Situation 8

Situation 9

Situation 10

Situation 11

Situation 12

TOTALS
(Should add
up to 120)
A B C D E

EVALUATION

PREFERRED PERSONAL STYLE

COLUMN A = CONTROLLER FROM HIGHEST TO LOWEST

COLUMN B = COMPROMISER 1ST

COLUMN C = PROBLEM-SOLVER 2ND

COLUMN D = ACCOMODATOR 3RD

COLUMN E = AVOIDER 4TH

5TH

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The main conflict styles can briefly be described as follows:

1. PROBLEM SOLVER

Seeks to manage conflict by maintaining interpersonal relationships and

ensuring that both parties to the conflict achieve their personal goals; acts on
behalf of personal interests but on behalf of other parties as well. Upon
recognising that a conflict exists, the collaborator utilises appropriate
management methods to manage the conflict. This is a win/win posture.

2. COMPROMISER

Assumes that a win/win outcome is not possible and adopts a negotiating

posture that seeks a small win small lose outcome for both, with persuasion
and manipulation dominating the management style. The objective is to find a
compromise, an expedient mutually acceptable solution which partially
satisfies the parties involved.

3. ACCOMODATOR

Involves maintaining the interpersonal relationship at all costs, with little or no

concern for the personal goals of the parties involved. Giving in, appeasing,
and avoiding conflict are viewed as ways of protecting the relationship. This is
a yield-lose/win posture in which the accommodators desire to avoid conflict
allows the other side to win.

4. CONTROLLER

Takes the necessary steps to ensure that his or her personal goals are met,
whatever the cost to the relationship involved. Conflict is involved as a win or
lose proposition, with winning equated with status and competence; this is a
power oriented mode in which you use whatever power seems most
appropriate to win your own position.

5. AVOIDER

Views conflict as something to be shunned at all costs; a central theme of this

style is hopelessness which results in a high degree of frustration for all
parties involved. Personal goals are usually not met, nor is the interpersonal
relationship maintained in this type of conflict. The avoider withdraws from
threatening situations; the stance is to leave and lose, allowing the other to
win.

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Katz and Lawyer suggest that what determines the style is the level of value
attached to relationships, and the personal goals of the parties concerned; a
high concern for both will result in a collaborator style; a high concern for
relationships but a low concern for personal goals will result in an
accommodator; a high for personal goals but a low concern for relationships
will produce a controller; a low concern for both, an avoider; and a mid-point
for both, a compromiser.

SCORING GRAPH

Accommodator Problem Solver

CONCERN

FOR Compromiser

RELATIONSHIPS

Avoider Controller

CONCERN FOR PERSONAL GOALS

(source for this exercise; N Katz and John Lawyer, Communication and
Conflict Resolution Skills, 1985 p 96.)

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