Jessica Ortner: Experiencing peace and protecting your peace can feel difficult when we

live in a world that's always highlighting conflict and drama. But you have
more power than you think to really feel peace. And I think it's important
to remember that it's impossible to give what we don't have. And I think
we can all agree that what the world needs is a little more peace. So to
show us how to do that, we are speaking to Iyanla Vanzant. Let me tell
you a bit about Iyanla.

She truly is one of the most inspiring women that I know. She went from
welfare mother to a New York Times Bestselling Author. She started from
the projects in Brooklyn and is now an Emmy Award winner. You may have
seen her hit TV show Iyanla Fix My Life. She is one of the most influential
speakers of our time. She's published 15 books, and six of them have been
New York Times Bestsellers. I'm always so grateful when she joins us for
the Tapping World Summit. Iyanla, welcome.

Iyanla Vanzant: Thank you. How are you? How is the baby? How's everybody?

Jessica: Oh, everyone's good. Baby’s good. Thank you. And my goodness is this–this
is the moment to talk about peace because it seems.

Iyanla: Absolutely.

Jessica: And I want to start with asking you, why has this become your focus?
Because when I said to you, “What do you want to talk about this year?”
You're like, “This is my focus. Creating peace, living peace.” Why is now the
moment for this conversation?

Iyanla: Well, for me, it's the energetic influence of 2022. You know, two two two
equals six. And that six energy is about balance, boundaries, building, and
business. So we cannot have balance in our lives, meaning balance
between work and play, balance between self and others, balance
between our mind, our heart, and our and our physical body, if we don't
have peace. Peace is a commodity that we so need today. Peace because
the world is–there's so much againstness in the world. If you don't agree

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 you're against and there's so much upheaval, not only because of the
pandemic, but because of all of the political unrest, the economic
changes. There's so much going on that every day we're drawn and pulled
into a different direction. And the first thing that we lose is our peace. The
first thing we do is we stop breathing.

So moving into 2022 in order to be able to build what it is that we desire in

order to be able to expand in terms of business, whether it's family,
business, relationship business, you know, economic business. In order to
have balance and create solid boundaries, we have to move from a place,
a consciousness of peace.

Jessica: What would you say to someone who's thinking, “I love this idea, but when
it comes to my life, I can't feel peace because I see so much wrong going
on in the world,” or “There's so much drama within my life.” Sometimes
there's the sense of guilt, like, “Am I allowed to feel peace when there's so
much unrest?”

Iyanla: Well, you know, never underestimate the ruthlessness of the ego to give
you an excuse not to do the very thing you need to do. What does what's
going on in the world have to do with you if you have the capacity, the
right, the ability to create peace? What are you going to do in the world as
a frazzled, hysterical mess?

Jessica: Very good point.

Iyanla: You know? What are you going to do? You know, you've got to bring who
you are to the table. You've got to be the thing that you want to create in
the world. So if you don't have peace, you can't offer peace. You can't
move in peace, you can't work peace. So then you become a contributing
factor to whatever it is that's going on outside.

The other thing is, you know, I really think our society has done us all–all
of us, me included–a major, major disservice by making us so
externally-referenced. So externally-referenced that we ignore and deny
the inside. So we've got to fix this out here. We got to do this. Here's my
question. How are you being? Are you being a peaceful person? Because if

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 you can be peaceful, then you can do things in a peaceful way. But the
ego will tell you, “No, no, no. MmmMmm. Gotta fix this and do that.” And
all the while inside you are a hot mess.

Jessica: Yeah. So true. So powerful. A great reminder. And still, we have these
blocks to peace. You work with so many different people. What are some
common blocks that you feel like are holding people back from
experiencing this peace?

Iyanla: Well, the first one is fear. You know, that's the drug of choice for the
average human being. Fear that this might happen. That might happen.
This might not happen. That could happen. But, you know, and then we
awfulize. We go get afraid and then we awfulize. Because the brain has a
negativity bias, so it'll go to the worst first. Won't see any positive
possibility, it will go to the worst fears. So fear is the number one
contributing factor.

And its first cousin, and they hang out together all of the time. is control.
The need to know. The need to have it this way. My way is the way. And if
it's not this way, it's not right. And we do it in our personal relationships.
“Well, if you love me, you do this.” Or, “You wouldn't do that.” “Do it the
way I want you to do it.” And that's a demonstration of love, which is really
a control factor.

The third one, which is a distant cousin, but it comes over on holidays, is
judgment. Right, wrong, good, bad, should, shouldn't. And then we get into
judging not only ourselves, but everybody and everything else. You
shouldn't. They shouldn't. It shouldn't. That's right. That's wrong. It's not
fair. Those are judgments. Everything is just as it needs to be. The question
becomes: Do you have enough peace? Do you have enough balance? Are
your boundaries clear to be able to move through whatever showed up in
your life?

And the final one, and I know people don't like this at all, is unforgiveness.
Unforgiveness is a universal pollutant. It pollutes your mind. It pollutes
your heart. It pollutes your spirit. It pollutes your environment because it
breeds. It breeds bitterness, anger, resentment, unforgiveness. So fear,
control, unforgiveness and judgments. Those are the four major

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 contributing factors that keep us from mastering peace. My year 2022 is
going to be teaching people how to master peace. Master it.

Jessica: Let's start with fear. I want to first ask you, though, why has Tapping been
something that you've used in your own life and when you've worked with
others when it comes to releasing blocks like fear?

Iyanla: Yeah, because it–first of all, it puts the power in my hands. That's number
one. I'm not externally-referenced. I don't need a pill. I don't need money. I
don't have to have gas in the car. I don't need clean underwear or
anything else to put the power in my hands to resolve an experience that
I'm having. So that's number one for me. Self reliance.

Number two is that through the scripts and the speaking, you get to speak
out those unconscious things that you're holding in your mind that really
create the disturbance, the disruption, whatever it is that's going on. And
through the scripts and what you’re speaking, you get to clear the
conscious and the unconscious.

And then finally, I think because I am an energy technician and Tapping

for me, move that energy out of your body. Once it's in there, it's in there
because energy can never be destroyed. It can be altered. It can be
transformed, but it cannot be destroyed. So as you're Tapping, what you're
doing is altering, transforming, and moving energy.

So those are the three things for me. That it puts the power in your hands,
that it clears conscious and unconscious blocks, and that it moves energy.
Yay!

Jessica: Yes, absolutely. What's interesting about fear is when it comes to

emotions, we feel them all in our body. But fear in particular is so easy to
notice in our body. I think most people have this fear and it's this tightness
in our chest or our stomach. And sometimes we're just trying to think
positive and it's just not happening because our body is so stuck within
that fear. So can you lead us into how we can begin to move that energy
of fear out of our body?

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Iyanla: Well, as it comes to establishing peace, the first thing you have to do is
identify the fears that keep you stuck. You know, you have to. Because it
will do, you know, good to just do a general kind of the fear, the fear, the
fear. What are you afraid of?

So let's think of some common things that people are afraid of right now.
Let's say, you know, employment.” I'm afraid I could lose my employment,”
or “I won't find employment.” Getting ill. You know, with this, with the
corona still lurking around the corner and shape shifting and jumping on
us in the supermarket, you know. My fear that I'll get caught with no toilet
paper. You know. So, identify what your fear is. My children, you know that
something will happen with my children. My relationship will fall apart.
These are some common things. So let's just say we look at the economics,
employment, relationships and children. So let's just make–let's put that in
a box called, “Fears That Steal my Peace.” Alright?

Jessica: You said earlier, I just want to mention, you said earlier that control is like
the cousin of fear. And as you're listing these things, I'm just kind of
reflecting. Yes, it's just the fear, but it's the not being able to control to
stop that fear.

Iyanla: Yeah, fear that I'm helpless to keep my loved ones safe. Fear that I can't
control what will happen to my loved ones or to myself. So we'll throw
some control in the fear box. Fear about the things I can't control. Alright?

So we have a big box. Make it a color. Make it a blue box. Let's say it's a
blue box. So for me, I always start with the reversal because the truth of
the matter is Jessica, even though we have these fears or judgments or
whatever, there's a part of us that it's so familiar. It's so comfortable that
rather than face the unknown, we'll hold on to the very things that keep us
stuck. So I always like to do a reversal to neutralize that energy. And to
hear it so that the ego knows, “I'm coming for you. I'm coming for you.”

Jessica: Watch out, ego. We’re coming for you. I'm ready to tap when you are.

Iyanla: We start on the karate chop point:

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Side of Hand Even though
I have this big blue box of fears
Things that disturb my peace
Things that I can control
Things that create disruption in my life
There's a part of me
That doesn't want to let them go
For whatever reason
Conscious or not
Logical or not
I am aware
There is a part of me
That doesn't want to let them go
And I'm still willing
To love and accept myself

Now, shake your hands out. Yeah. OK, let's do one more.

Even though
I have this big blue box of fear
Things that frighten me
Things that disturb my peace
Things that I have absolutely no control over
And they create stress in my life
And anxiety
And if I'm not careful
They make my hair gray
There's a part of me
That does not want to let them go
Maybe because they're familiar
Maybe because they keep me in control
And maybe
Because I'm so afraid
I won't try anything new
And run the risk
Of failing
Now that's a big fear
I'm smart, right?
I keep myself safe

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 By holding on to fear
And I still love
And accept myself
And how I feel

All right, shake your hands out. I'm going to take my glasses off so I don't
tap them onto the floor. Starting here:

Eyebrow All of this fear

Side of Eye This big blue box of fear
Under Eye All of these fears
Under Nose And the things I can't control
Under Mouth Creating stress in my life
Collarbone Creating anxiety in my life
Under Arm Keeping me stuck
Wrist I've got this big blue box of fear
Top of Head And I'm ready to let it go

EB No, I'm not

SE Yes, I am
UE No, I am not
UN If I let this go
UM What will I do with myself?
CB How will I worry?
UA How will I stress out? I won't
WR Now that would be nice
TH If I don't have anything to worry about

EB If I don't have anything to stress about

SE I could be at peace
UE I could be at peace
UN I choose to be at peace
UM I'm ready to be at peace
CB Or maybe I'm really ready
UA To let this box go and I can let it go
WR And I choose to let it go
TH I am letting it go right now

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 Breath. Now, you know, we forgot to rate the box.

Jessica: Well, you know, I feel like we did. And I think we can just notice. I didn't
read my box, but man, my shoulders are lower. I take a, I take a deep
breath and I feel like I can let more oxygen into my lungs. Like, the body
responds.

Iyanla: Yes. The body does respond as you start to move that energy. And the
other thing I like to do when I'm Tapping, I like to make it light. You know?
Put that in there. “I’m gonna get some gray hair!” You know? “What would
I do with myself if I let this stuff go? Well…” You know? So feel that even
the Tapping, just the way you speak it in the script, it's lighter and it really
gives you something that you want to move towards. I mean, you know.
You feel lighter and you don't want gray hair. You have to, if you have
economic stress and you've got to go buy hair dye, that's a problem.

Jessica: Yes, yes. And it's interesting because when we're saying how we're feeling,
we're already playing this in our head without Tapping and just going
deeper into the stress. Now we're going, “Alright. Let me just give a voice
to how much this sucks. Let me just be honest. But let me tap now so I can
clear it out. So I can, you know, acknowledge it and move it through my
body.”

Iyanla: You know, even what you just said. “This sucks. This absolutely sucks not
having peace. Being afraid all the time. Worrying all the time. It absolutely
sucks. And all I have to do is tap on it and it'll go? What do you think I'm
crazy? Banging on my face ain't gonna help me. But you know what? Now
that I think about it, I'm beginning to feel calmer. I'm beginning to feel
more peaceful. Who knew? This is a good thing. Maybe I need to tap more
often.”

Jessica: Absolutely. Yes, exactly.

Iyanla: I mean, when you're thinking, just give it voice and speak it out loud and
tap it. Because those scripts and those words. Imagine you're hearing it,

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 you're speaking it and you're feeling it. That's a full body experience, full
body. Whereas when you're ruminating on the fears and awfulizing on
what you can control, that's on the inside. But now when you tap, you're
bringing in other senses and other parts of your being. And that gives you
more experience and exposure so you get rid of it.

Jessica: Yes. I want to mention, you do add a point which I love. And it's the inside,
so you're Tapping your wrists together like this.

Iyanla: Central nervous system. Central nervous system. When they want to check
your pulse, where do they go?

Jessica: Right, right.

Iyanla: So the whole, entire central nervous system, right here.

Jessica: Yeah. My goodness. Fear. Just reflecting on fear a little bit more. It's such a
habit, and it's easy because we're fed fear. Like we look at our phones and
the news isn't telling us why we should feel good, ever. It's just feeding us
fear. And so we need to really create new habits because fear is a habit for
many of us.

Iyanla: It is. It is a habit. It's a habit, number one, because, “if I don't pass the test,
I'm going to fail.” “If I don't make the next money, I'll be starving and living
in the park with the squirrels.” “If I don't do this right, you know, I'll lose
their love.” “If I don't do this, they'll leave me.” So every thing, like I said,
the brain has a negativity bias. So whatever you put in front of it, the ego
will use it to generate a fear. And then we use our habitual
problem-solving techniques, you know?

So when we are afraid, “Oh, I just won't think about it.” Or when we're
afraid, “I'll do this so that that may not happen.” So like you say, not only is
it a habit, please know that the deceptive intelligence of the negative
ego–which wants to keep you separated from your higher self, that wants
to keep you in a perpetual spin of conflamaration–will use the fear to run

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 circles around you all of the time. So we've got to be aware of that. Yeah.

Jessica: Yeah. So we focused on fear, and we mention that control is so tied into
that. So I imagine even Tapping on fear will have some impact on control.
What I'm curious about is–all of us love control. I love control. If I could
control everything, I would be thrilled. But obviously we can't. And so
when we realize, like, “Wow, I need to really let go of control,” what's on
the other side of that? If we're not controlling, where do we go?

Iyanla: Surrender and acceptance.

Jessica: Mmm feels nice.

Iyanla: Yeah, just surrendering, letting know that everything is as it needs to be.
There is nothing to fear. There is nothing to fear. All things are as they
need to be. I will always have what I need. I will always have what
everyone and so will everyone else.

So really control is grounded in fear. Like I said, they're first cousins.

Because so many of us think that if I don't do it, it won't be done right. If
it's not been this way, I won't be happy if I don't get it done. You know, so
whatever the human mind, just, you know. Our minds are so divine and so
brilliant and so decadent at the same time. You know that the things that
we could cook up in our mind.

I say to myself very often, “You know what, Iyanla You really have a gift for
fiction.” And I've been in my mind making up stories about people and
about things that happen. So I turned it into a game just so that I can
remind myself of the ridiculousness that I can engage in. So I'm driving
down the street and I'll see a person and I'll say, “Oh, look at that person,
that's a millionaire disguising themselves as a homeless person. And then
they're going to go around and when you think–they’re gonna come up to
your car and give you something. You give them something, they'll give
you $1,000,000. Go back around the block and do it! You know, just make
myself–to remind myself, “Look at how you make up stuff.”

So if you think you're not in control. If you think, “This doesn't happen, this
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 will go wrong and that will go wrong.” We just got to make ourselves
aware of how you know, our gift for fiction. And that, you know what is
happening.

You know, when I'm teaching, very often I say to my students, “Do you
know why roads curve?” When you're driving along, it's very, you know,
you can only go a mile or two miles before the road curves. And I say,
“Why is that?” That is because the creator, source, God, the universe, knew
and we had to look down the road all the way to where we were going.
We would say, “Oh, that's too long. I'll never make it.” So life puts curves.In
the road so that you only see a little bit at a time, a little bit at a time. And
you don't know what's around that curve. So the mere fact that you think,
we think, that we have to be in control, that we know what's around the
curve. And we don't!

And the other, this is huge. Jessica, and this is part of mastering peace
because one of the things that disturbs our peace is looking at loved ones
of people we care about and seeing them in any sort of stress, or distress,
or upset, or breakdown, and thinking that we have to help them, that we
know what it is. And the thing, the truth of the matter is, we don't know
what's on anybody's spiritual curriculum. We do not know what
creator/source/God is doing in their life. And sometimes in order for
people to find the strength to stand up, they have to find it from the place
of getting up. Which means they have to fall. They have to fall in order to
learn the strength to get up, so they can stand up. And we can’t control
that. And it's hard to watch a loved one fall. But sometimes it's necessary.

Jessica: One of my big intentions for this year is to work on just that. Because you
know what Nick calls me in the family? He calls me The Meddler. He goes,
“You’re The Meddler.” Anyone has a conflict and I go in there and I'm like,
“Let's communicate. Let me fix this.” And he'll be like, “Stop meddling. Just
let them work it out.”

Iyanla: Yes. Yes.

Jessica: It's been a big lesson and a reminder to you be, like, “I don't have to fix
every miscommunication in the family or in the world. I don't need to
meddle. I can have faith.” And my goodness, it makes life easier because
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 you start meddling and then you get into the mess too.

Iyanla: Yes!

Jessica: And then before you know it, someone’s mad at you.

Iyanla: That's right! They'll blame it on you if you hadn't said it. I mean, you know,
being a mom and a grandma and a great grandma, I have learned that
lesson. Because they could be in the biggest breakdown and Walhalla
going on, and as soon as I say something, both sides will say, “Well, Yeye
said…” And I say, “Well, wait a minute, I didn't have...Why am I in this?”
You know, so now? [zips lips] And know, I can't control it. I can't control it. I
really don't know what is going on. It looks strange to my human eye, but
when I withdraw the need to fix it, to change it, to alter it, to make it ok,
they will either work it out or not. And I have to be ok with either one.

And it's the same thing in the world. We cannot control what's going on in
the world. We look at things and we say, “What are they thinking? What is
wrong with them? Why can't you know? And I want to write a very strongly
worded letter to help them get themselves together!” When, I don't know–

Jessica: Man, do we regret those letters after we’ve sent them right? Every time we
send them in that state or that text message and then we tap and then
recall when we look back and we go, “Oh, why did I say that?”

Iyanla: Yeah. I'm going to send a strongly worded letter, you know. And if we
would just know that everything is as it needs to be. I don't need to control
it. But remember, the first cousin of control is fear. So it's really our fear
that we are projecting onto someone, or other people, or other situations.

Which takes us to the third disruptor of peace, which is judgment.

Judgment: right, wrong, good, bad, fair, unfair, should, shouldn't. Those
judgments are a function of our control, which is grounded in fear. You see
how these things are linked together.

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Jessica: They’re sneaky.

Iyanla: And we will never master peace–Yes. Never underestimate the

ruthlessness of the ego to take you into territories that will disrupt your
peace. Never underestimate it. And you may have the best intentions in
the world, but when you dig deeper and you start getting in touch with the
energy, or when you start Tapping. Because the beauty, the other beauty
of Tapping and I know you know this, Jessica, is that when you start
Tapping and you start moving energy, things you weren't aware you were
thinking and feeling come to the surface.

Jessica: Mm-Hmm. Yes.

Iyanla: Where did that come from?

Jessica: Right. You're like, “Oh, that's why I couldn't sleep last night. I had no idea. I
thought it was just because I watched too much TV.” But no, I'm Tapping in
this emotion that my body's been holding comes out to be cleared. I think
we also need to stop fearing these feelings or judging them right? Like we
are supposed to feel. That's part of being human and giving ourselves
permission to feel big feelings. To honor them and to release them.

Iyanla: Well some of us don't know what those big feelings are because we have
such a limited emotional vocabulary. We know fear. We know anger.
Sometimes we know we know stress and anxiety, but those aren’t feelings,
those are conditions at that result from certain feelings.

But do we really know love? Do we know peace? Do we know them? So

one of the things I also do when I'm working with my students or working
with people, is after we tap out what is, I want to tap in what I want.

So say, for example, we were doing peace. I would say, “Do you know what
peace is? What would it feel like? What would it look like?“ And you'd be
surprised how many people say, no, I say, “OK, so let's make a list of all the
things that you want. Well, we want peace, right? We want love. If I'm an
unforgiving soul, I want forgiveness.”

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 So rather than trying to make up what it is, I do a very simple process:

Eyebrow Peace
Side of Eye Peace
Under Eye Peace
Under Nose Peace
Under Mouth Peace
Collarbone Peace
Under Arm Peace
Wrist Peace
Top of Head Peace

EB Peace before me
SE Peace behind me
UE Peace on my left
UN Peace on my right
UM Peace above me
CB Peace below me
UA Peace unto me
WR Peace in my surroundings
TH Peace unto me, mind, body, spirit

Jessica: Imagine if we did that before any big decision. Before communicating,
Right? If we just surrounded ourselves with that peace?

Iyanla: And then that way, as it comes, we don't have to define it. We're not late.
Because if we don't know what peace is, or love is, or forgiveness is, if we
don't really know what that is, even our calling it in is going to be limited.

But those are such big principles, universal principles, filled with divine
light and divine energy. If we simply invite them in, they will make
themselves known to us. So even when you finish that, you've let out your
blue fear box, or your red unforgiveness box, or whatever it is now, just
call in the principle itself. Breathe it in, you know? And you can add to
that, “I see peace. I speak peace. I welcome peace. I invite peace.” You
know? “I drink peace. I bring peace. I eat peace.” Just those things that we
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 do every day. And peace has the wisdom to make itself known to you. You
don't have to tell peace what to do, or love, or light, or any of that. So
that's another good practice. Once you tap something out, tap it in. Even if
you can't describe it, just put it in your environment.

Jessica: I love that. Let's spend some time on this judgment, which is a really big
one for many people. Who? Me? How can you lead us through some, some
Tapping around the resistance to let go of the judgment?

Iyanla: Mmm. I think so. I think we should do that. Let's go to the to the karate
chop point:

Side of Hand Judgments

I've got judgments
Judgments about what should and shouldn't be
Judgments about people
Judgments about myself
Judgments that destroy my peace
And disturb my life
And there's a part of me
That thinks I'm right in my judgments
And that part of me
Doesn't want to let them go
And I'm still willing
To love myself
Most of the time

Shake your hands out. Again, keep it light. Keep it light. We’re not dealing
with a deadly disease, so we can keep it light. Ok?

Even though
I confess
I can be
And have been
Judgmental
I judge other people
I have judged situations
I have judged myself
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 Because there's a part of me
That thinks I'm right
And there's also a part of me
That doesn't want to let my judgments go
For whatever reason
Logical or not
Rational or not
Conscious or unconscious
There is a part of me
That is totally invested
In my judgments
And I hold on to that part of me
But I'm still willing
To accept how I feel
And do my very best
To love myself

And shake your hands out. Ok. Let me take my glasses off.

Eyebrow Judgments
Side of Eye All these judgments
Under Eye I judge
Under Nose I'm a little reluctant
Under Mouth To say that I'm judgmental
Collarbone But if I were telling the truth
Under Arm I would say it
Wrist I have been and I can be judgmental
Top of Head And the judgments that I have

EB Disrupt my peace
SE The judgments that I have
UE Often makes me angry
UN The judgments that I have
UM Can make me afraid
CB The judgments that I have
UA Disrupt my relationships
WR The judgments that I have
TH Need to go
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EB I am ready to release these judgments
SE I am willing to release these judgments
UE No, I'm not
UN Yes, I am
UM When I think of just how disruptive judgements are
CB I have to make a choice
UA Either fight to be right
WR Or have peace
TH I’m choosing peace

EB I'm choosing to let the judgments go

SE I'm not going to fight to be right
UE I'm not going to fight to have my way
UN I am going to release these judgments
UM And pursue peace
CB Peace is my priority
UA I choose to release judgment
WR I choose another way
TH I'm choosing it right now

Take a breath. Now, remember, before you've done that, you've identified
those judgments and you put them in a bag, or a box, or a tree or, you
know, whatever. And so you would release that thing. “I'm releasing this
red bag of judgments. I'm releasing this oak tree of judgments. I'm
releasing this,” you know, “suitcase of judgment.” So that all of the
judgments are in there. You've identified them first. “I judge my sister in
the way she raises her kids. I judge my mother because she eats too much
sugar. I judge my husband because he doesn't put the toilet seat down. I
judge my partner because they chew too loud,” you know? Put all of those
judgments in a container so that when you're Tapping, you’re Tapping on
the container and you don't have to identify each and every judgment.

Jessica: Can you imagine how our country would change if everyone tapped on
judgment and could communicate?

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Iyanla: That is why.

Jessica: No one can communicate anymore because everyone's so stuck in their

judgment? No one can have a conversation with someone that thinks
differently than them. And when that happens, nothing gets done. Nothing
changes. It's like everyone is stuck.

Iyanla: That was a beautiful script. Can you imagine? We should have been
Tapping.

Eyebrow Can you imagine

Side of Eye the peace in our country
Under Eye If everybody
Under Nose Tapped on judgments?
Under Mouth If everyone
Collarbone Stopped being against each other?
Under Arm If people would just release
Wrist This judgmental energy?
Top of Head Because we think

EB If we don't agree
SE That we have to be against
UE And againstness
UN Disturbs peace
UM And it's infecting
CB Our political system
UA It’s affecting our health.
WR It's affecting our children.
TH Everyone, everyone

EB Needs to tap on judgment

SE To release them
UE So that we can see each other
UN As whole and complete
UM As loving and purposeful
CB That we can create peace
UA In our world

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WR Wouldn't that be lovely?
TH Yeah, baby

Jessica: Yeah, baby! This is medicine for the world. This is medicine.

Iyanla: Yeah and the thing that I really hope that people get is, like, when you
start what I call the mental rant, if you ever notice that you're in a mental
rant about anything or anyone, just start Tapping. You know? Really:

Eyebrow I don't know when this is going to stop

Side of Eye When is this going to stop?
Under Eye I just–I can't take it any more
Under Nose Look at them
Under Mouth Look how they do it
Collarbone Look at that

You know, just start Tapping. And if you can’t do all of the points, if you're
at work or you're someplace, then right here [taps on the Eyebrow point],
that's enough.

Jessica: Yeah. You know, when I started to do Tapping on judgment? Was when I
realized I was fighting with people in the shower. I’d be taking a shower
after reading the news and I'd be fighting with someone who doesn't exist.
I didn’t even know this person. I just disagree with them. And I would be
fighting with them. And after a while, I was like, “I gotta let that go
because fighting in the shower in my head is not serving anybody. It's
definitely not serving me.”

Iyanla: And you're in the shower. All of your pores are open. You're naked, so
you're vulnerable. So those thoughts in that shower are intensified and
amplified because you're having a full-body experience of it all.

That's why I'm really promoting and supporting people: turn your shower,
your body cleansing routine into a ritual. When you're putting your soap
on, “I'm putting on peace. I'm putting on love. I'm putting it into my pores.”

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 You know, it's not Tapping, but you're just energizing your body in a
different way.

If we really, Jessica, understood how powerful we are and took the steps
to override the mind and the ego's negativity bias, by just doing simple
things like that, you know? And if you can't think of what to say, the two
most powerful words that you can use are: I am. I am “I am peaceful, I am
peace. I am joyful peace. I am consistent peace. I am peace all day. I am
peace all night. I am peace in the city. I am peace in the country. I am
peace in the market . I am peace everywhere, everywhere.”

Jessica: Yes. Even just Tapping the round that you did before, which is like peace
all around me. Like even while we’re in the shower. Because let's be
honest, we spend like half the time washing our body and the other half,
we're just like [looks up with daydreaming look].

Iyanla: Yeak, right?

Jessica: You know what I mean? Just feeling the water. I'm not the only one, I'm
sure. And taking that moment, it's so powerful. That ritual. And we need
that daily cleansing. This isn't like we tap once and we're never going to
have judgment again. We need to be really on top of it and really make
this a ritual.

Iyanla: You know what I do sometimes after I've, when I bathed, because, you
know, the other part of my masterpiece program is really to get people
back in the bathtub. We've become shower-olics. Get in the tub! Sit your
butt in some water! And put some good stuff in that water. Whether it's
Epsom salts so you can drain out toxins or apple cider vinegar so that you
can recondition your cells, or lavender oil, or rose, or whatever. Get in the
tub. 20 minutes. How have we become so busy that we don't have 20
minutes to sit in a bath tub of warm water? I don't understand.

But one of the things that I do, I sit in my bath tub of warm water. If I'm
working on peace, let's say that's when I really bring to mind all of those
things that disturb my peace. And I put it in something that water will
dissolve. You know, I say, “I put this in a bag of sugar.” I put it in a bag of…

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 whatever--something that the water will dissolve. Before I get out of the
tub, I tap on that bag, or that box, or that whatever it is. I tap on it in the
bathtub. And then I get out of the tub and I run into the shower for three
minutes and rinse it off. Oh! I call it “Bath Tapping”. You know?

Jessica: I love that! I'm going to do that more. I take baths, but I don't take baths as
much as I could. So I invite everybody to listen, like, let's make that
commitment to ourselves. Let's just take a bath, right? We have all these,
like, big resolutions and goals. Let's just start with a bath to bring in that
peace.

Iyanla: And Tapping! You know, imagine if even once a week you did some Bath
Tapping or Shower Tapping. You can tap in the shower every day. Because
that's the most vulnerable you are. If you were in the tub and the house
blew up, or whatever and there you are–you are naked. And the first thing
you’re going to do is look for a towel to cover your body. You know? When
I'm in the shower and the dogs not barking, I'm like [mimes panicking for a
towel] “I can't go see, I’m naked,” you know?

And it's good that in those moments we’re vulnerable. That means we're
open. Good to tap the shower. Turn your back to the water and tap. If
you're not Tapping out anything, tap in. [Starts Tapping on the points]
Love. Love before me. Love behind me. Love showering down on me.
Preparing me for the day. Love unto me. Love unto all.

I mean in the shower. I use the tub to tap stuff out, you know, and leave it
in that water. I get out as soon as I finish Tapping.

Jessica: And then drain it.

Iyanla: It goes down the drain. I go into the shower. Three minutes to rinse any
residue off of me. That is a prescription.

Jessica: Yes. Yes, I love that. Iyanla, I want to talk about forgiveness. We can't forget
about forgiveness. And you mentioned forgiving others, but you also
mentioned forgiving yourself.

Iyanla: Yes. I do more Tapping on self-forgiveness than anything else. But so many

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 years later, I've learned that if it's in my life, it's there by energetic
invitation. I've caught it in, him in, her in. them in. I have called it in. Either
to prove or disprove something to myself. So rather than getting mad at
them, I do the forgiveness for what it is that I thought, or I believed, or I
made up, that created the situation in my life. That created whatever it is
that I'm going through.

You know, sometimes I make up things to distract me. Sometimes I make

up things as a function of unhealed shame, or guilt, or whatever. So I
always start with self-forgiveness. Some people are still in the place
where they have to forgive somebody else for us. Ok, whatever.

Jessica: Yeah, we can do it all. But I'd love to start with that self forgiveness.
Though, I want to take a moment just to really get clear on this concept of
inviting things in, because sometimes it's a very hard pill to swallow. And
yet we've all had that one friend who's dated the same guy with a
different name. Right? It's, like, the same. We see someone running a
pattern and you're like, “How did you find this person or how did this
happen to you again?” And you realize that there's something
energetically that attracts them. It's so much easier to see in other people
than it is to see in ourselves.

But at least having that awareness that we're seeing it, we can go, “Oh,
well, this does happen. So how is this happening to me?” If something
keeps happening to me over and over again? I got to take a step back and
go, “The one thing in this equation that's the same is me.”

Iyanla: Yeah.

Jessica: Change you, the equation changes.

Iyanla: I had this conversation with my 26 year old grandson, maybe three days
ago, who's always broke. Who makes money and always has a financial
crisis. And I said to him, “This is a habit now. It's a habit. I'm not sure what
you're doing. We've created budgets, we talked about it. You have more
than enough money to do what you need to do. What is it that you're
doing?” You know, “Oh, no, this happened. That happened.” “No, no, no, no,
no, no, no. What are you doing?” That's why the bank is holding your check

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 longer than they need to, or that's why your check didn't show up where it
was or that's why your account is overdrawn, the same thing over and over
and over and over.

And we worked on self-forgiveness. You know, believing he doesn't have

enough scarcity is huge, huge in this society. As much as we have and as
much as we waste, scarcity. Scarcity of love, scarcity of support, scarcity of
individual needs, of our personal needs. And then we get angry at other
people for not doing what we think they need to do to get us what we
need to have. And those things need to be forgiven. “I forgive myself.”

Jessica: Yeah, and it can be a beautiful and a gentle process. Because oftentimes
when we begin to take personal responsibility, if we don't bring
forgiveness into it, then it is a painful experience. But you're saying, ”No,
where we start is the self-forgiveness.” We don't try to fix it and then
forgive ourselves. When we start with the forgiveness.

Iyanla: I say start with the forgiveness and also start, not with just what
happened, but what you feel about what happened. “I forgive myself for
feeling ashamed because blah blah blah blah blah.” “I forgive myself for
feeling angry because blah blah blah blah blah.” “I forgive myself for
believing I'm powerless or helpless when it comes to blah blah blah blah
blah.” “I forgive myself for judging myself as blah blah blah blah blah.”

These are simple things that you can do, but we have to be willing to
accept responsibility for our innate power to create. The same way we can
create what we desire, very often we create what we don't desire. “Let me
forgive myself for that. Let me forgive myself for consciously and
unconsciously creating drama in my life. Let me forgive myself for
consciously and unconsciously recreating unhappy relationships with
people and with myself. Let me just forgive myself for that without any
details.”

Jessica: Can we do some things on that? Because that's a good one. And we can do
a few things. We can do abundance, like an example of your grandson,
was it? Did you say grandson? Yes, or drama? Having drama? I don't know
what you feel called to focus on. Or something general.

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Iyanla: Let's see.

Jessica: Ok, I like that!

Iyanla: Let's see. Let's see. Let's see what comes up.

Side of Hand Even though I’m aware that I need to forgive myself
For things I’m not even aware
That I thought or felt
Or did or didn’t do
There's a part of me
That is resistant to forgiveness
For whatever reason
Conscious or not
Rational or not
There's a part of me
That is simply resistant to forgiveness
And I'm still willing to accept how I feel
And to do my very best
And to love myself
And that part of me
That's resistant to forgiveness

Now shake your hands out.

Even though there's a part of me

That's resistant to forgiveness
And unforgiveness
Creates and recreates
Unpleasant situations
In my mind, my life and my affairs
There's a resistant part of me
That doesn't want to forgive
That wants to stay angry
That likes the drama
And the confusion
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 And making everybody else wrong
And I'm ready to let that part of me go
And embrace forgiveness as a state of being
And that's why I love myself
Because I'm brilliant

Shake your hands out. Ok, here we go.

Eyebrow Unforgiveness
Side of Eye Unforgiveness
Under Eye I confess
Under Nose There are times
Under Mouth And situations
Collarbone When I simply resist
Wrist Forgiving
Top of Head Forgiving myself, forgiving other people

EB There's a part of me
SE That simply resists doing it
UE What I'm aware of is
UN In order to forgive
UM I may have to admit
CB That I was wrong
UA Just the mere thought of that
WR Makes me nauseous
TH I was wrong?!

EB I can't be wrong!
SE I’m never wrong!
UE I don’t need forgiveness!
UN They need forgiveness!
UM They were wrong!
CB And what they did
UA What they said
WR How they said it
TH They were wrong
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EB Wait a minute
SE I'm also aware
UE That at all times
UN In all situations
UM Under all circumstances
CB There was no one in the room
UA Except me and God
WR And if it's not God
TH It's me

EB So those people
SE And those situations
UE Where I think
UN They were wrong
UM Are simply showing me
CB A part of me
UA That needs to grow or heal
WR That means there's a part of me
TH That needs forgiveness

Take a breath. Well, that's enough to fry your brain, ain’t it?

Jessica: Do you ever experience after Tapping, you feel like you can actually see
better? I know that sounds bizarre, but there's so many times I think it's
Tapping and I'm so clear that it's like my actual vision feels like it's better.
And there's just a clarity in my mind, in my sight and my thinking. It's so
powerful. I mean, I've been doing this for so many years, but I still go,
“Wow.”

Iyanla: The energy opens up. The energy opens up. So what I would do then is
immediately I'd let that settle. I'd see the clarity. I take a breath, I'd have a
drink of water and I'd go right back in.

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Eyebrow I forgive myself
Side of Eye I forgive myself
Under Eye For everything
Under Nose And anything
Under Mouth That might need forgiveness
Collarbone I forgive myself
Under Arm I forgive myself
Wrist I love myself
Top of Head Enough to forgive myself

EB I give myself permission

SE To acknowledge I need forgiveness
UE And forgiveness starts with me
UN I forgive myself
UM I forgive myself for everything
CB Forgiveness above me
UA Forgiveness behind me
WR Forgiveness in front of me
TH Forgiveness at my left

EB Forgiveness at my right
SE Forgiveness unto me
UE Into every aspect of my life
UN I forgive myself
UM I claim forgiveness
CB I choose forgiveness
WR I activate forgiveness
TH I am forgiven

And we take a breath. It's so funny because one of the things that I've
learned is when I'm Tapping, if I yawn or just get this burst of energy, I
know that the energy is moving. Some people will belch. So while we were
doing that, I had this big yawn come up and I said, “Oh, there must have
been something that needed forgiveness. I didn’t even know.” And I just
knew, “Let me forgive it.”

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Jessica: Yeah, and even tears. Sometimes people cry and they think, “Oh, I
shouldn't cry.” It is such a powerful release of the body. It's you letting go.

Iyanla: Yeah, I call that the “Liquid Praise”. [Starts miming crying while Tapping]
“Oh, I forgive... I forgive my…”

Jessica: Oh Iyanla, you've given us such a gift today. Such a gift. I feel like I took an
energetic shower and I'm definitely taking a bath tonight. I think all of us
are going to sleep better after that Tapping.

Any, just, final words? In this state, we're open to peace. We're open to this
forgiveness. What do you hope that we remember tomorrow? When this
buzz of Tapping has worn off, what do you hope that we remember?

Iyanla: I would say, particularly in this year of 2022, this life cycle, master peace.
Master peace in your mind, in your relationships, in your life. And simply
begin to become aware and mindful of the thoughts, the feelings, the
behaviors, the people, the situations, that disturb your peace. And
minimize your exposure to them, and if for any reason you cannot
minimize your exposure, tap when you get there. Tap when you are in
their presence. Just tap. If you can't do the whole thing. “Mmmm, ok.
Peace. Peace above me. Peace within me. Peace.” Just tap.

Jessica: Thank you so much, Iyanla. Again, such a gift. Appreciate you so much.

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