5/2022

UNIT 10: READING SELECTION 4

Sex, Sighs, and Conversation
Why Men and Women Can’t Communicate
II. Comprehension questions
1. What is the text about? State the main idea of the article in one sentence.
The text discusses gender variations in language use and the frustrations that these
discrepancies cause when women and men converse.
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2. How differently do little girls and little boys use the language?
Little girls are taught to use language to show that they care - to form bonds and
feel connected to one another. Little boys, on the other hand, learn to use language
to obtain independence and climb the social ladder, attempting to gain all of the
attention, confront and reject challenges, and demonstrate knowledge and other
skills.
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3. Who are more willing to talk about their days? Men or women? Why so?
Women are more open to discussing their days. Because she believes that by sharing
her daily experiences and impressions, she is not alone in the world. Such
conversation exemplifies closeness, demonstrating that she and her spouse are great
friends.
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4. How different are men and women when talking about their problems?
Men frequently propose solutions to their problems, but women require consolation
rather than solutions.
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5. Who talk more in “public” situations with people they know less well? Why so?
In "public" situations with people they don't know as well as women, men chat
more. Because they are more likely to speak out and answer their inquiries (if they
have any) as well as cover a wide range of topics.
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6. What does the writer advise that men and women should do to feel less frustrated
because of their different ways in using the language?
The first step toward transformation is to recognize gender variations in speaking
styles. Recognizing that a partner's behavior is a typical expression of gender rather
than an individual flaw.
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III. Answer the question in your own words
Sex, Sighs and Conversation is an example of an expository essay. What is being
explained?
The author of this article looks at cross-cultural disparities in how women and men
use language, as well as the difficulties that these discrepancies generate when
women and men converse. Females use language to build connections and foster
intimacy, whereas males use language to maintain independence and negotiate
position, according to Tannen.
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IV. Paraphrasing:
1. Why are so many men reluctant to ask directions? Why aren’t women? And why can’t
women understand why men don’t want to ask? The explanation, for this and for
countless minor and major frustrations that women and men may have when they talk to
each other, lies in the different ways that they use language––differences that begin with
how girls and boys use language as children when they grow up in different worlds.
Why are there so many men afraid to seek for help? Why aren't women doing it?
And why can't women comprehend why guys are hesitant to inquire? The difference
in how girls and boys utilize language as youngsters when they grow up in various
cultures is the explanation for this, as well as a slew of other minor and significant
difficulties that women and men may experience when communicating with one
another.
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2. Anthropologists, sociologists and psychologists have found that little girls play in
small groups or in pairs; they have a best friend, with whom they spend a lot of time
talking. It’s the telling of secrets that makes them best friends. They learn to use language
to care––to make connections and feel close to each other.
Young girls play in tight team environments, according to anthropologists,
sociologists, and psychologists; they have a closest friend with whom they spend a lot
of time conversing. They are best friends because they tell each other secrets. They
learn to communicate in order to care––to form bonds and feel connected to one
another.
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3. Boys, on the other hand, tend to play competitive games in larger groups made up of
smaller social groups, in which high-status boys give orders, and low-status boys are
pushed around. So boys learn to use language to gain independence and find their way
up, trying to get all the attention, challenge and resist challenges, display knowledge and
other skills.
Guys, on the other side, are more likely to play competitive matches in big groups
composed of smaller social groupings, in which high-status boys issue orders and
low-status guys are dragged around. So guys learn to utilize language to obtain
autonomy and climb the social ladder, attempting to attract all focus, confront and
resist obstacles, and demonstrate an understanding and other talents.
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4. Understanding gender differences in ways of talking is the first step toward changing.
Because some people do not know that people of the other gender have different ways of
talking, people assume they are doing things right and their partners are doing things
wrong.
The first move in altering is to recognize gender variations in communication styles.
People think they are still doing things correctly and their partners are doing things
incorrectly because some persons are unaware that people of the other gender speak
in various ways.
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V. Summarizing:
Relying on the answers for the questions on part I, write a summary (about 120 – 150
words) for the essay.

Deborah Tannen focuses on gender variations in the use of words and the
discomfort these differences bring when women and men converse in her article
"Sex, Sights, and Conversation: Why Men and Women Can't Communicate." She
begins with a story of a lost woman and man. The woman desires to seek directions,
but the man does not. Tannen discusses the major distinctions between how men
and women utilize language. Tannen wraps off her post by emphasizing the need of
female and male partners understanding that they often communicate in different
ways. Women and men will cease assuming that their own methods of speaking are
correct and that their partners' are incorrect if they become more conscious of these
"cross-cultural" issues, and they will make the little changes necessary to better
communication.