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Body Language Basics
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This is a compilation of my old content, some are available on Basedonia’s blog or
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The various content of this document comes from personal experience so I am in no
way liable of how you use it.
Enjoy the read.
a conversation goes.
Before you even realize it, sometimes your body language betrays you and
More often than not, body language de ines who runs the show in one-on-
one conversation
With the quarantine and lockdowns, most people's skills got rusty
This gesture comes from a desire to get closer to your interlocutor and pay
However, if not used properly, this can send the wrong subliminal
If during the whole conversation you are leaning in, you signal that your
You will notice that someone who tilts their head, positions it in an
uncomfortable position.
Very often in an attempt to make their head lower than their interlocutor's
head.
If you ever catch yourself in such a position, make sure to slowly lean back
Use gestures
However, raising your hands and arms above your shoulders will be
engagement, on top of that, keeping arms and legs open rather than closed
on your interlocutor.
Body language isn't just a few types of behavior to analyze but rather a mix
of many tells that can help you better understand the person in front of
you.
Most of the time, body language is very e ective in order to discern the
1- Their Eyes:
One of the most important things in body language is people's eye contact.
than inclusive; someone who would do this with only a few people but
ignore others
the group
Selective: Wants to make a point that not everyone in this group is worth
necessarily weak.
However, eye contact is not the only parameter to take into consideration
Let me explain.
Many will tell you that insisting eye contact is a sign of con idence and/or
genuine attention, it's important to keep in mind that people will use this
A liar might be looking straight into your eyes and still lie in your face.
Instead, also analyze what people look at, not just the intensity at which
they do.
Wait for a time where the person is not having a conversation, as it tells
more than when they are trying to give an impression, there is more
genuineness to it.
For this however, it's a bit more straightforward compared to the eyes.
The more space they take, the more con ident and comfortable they are.
What I mean by space goes from how they walk, stand, sit to how they eat
and speak.
It's however important to note that, sometimes, when they take too much
stupid.
Con ident people do take space but they do not impose themselves in the
Head stability is not only a sign of con idence but also a sign of interest.
PS: You will be able to draw a conclusion if you analyze the other
parameters.
A stable head movement on the other hand expresses the ease and self-
acceptance, the person knows how they look and how they behave and do
not try to ind the 'right' head position as they feel comfortable being
However, a very rigid head movement, too stable and not exible enough
This last type of head movement shows someone that is trying to show
It screams insecurity.
whatever valid (I hope it's valid) reason. This defensive position comes from
our natural instinct of protecting our torso and belly from physical attacks.
Someone in this position can very quickly get angry/sad as they probably
feel attacked.
A weak position that says long about what's going on in their mind.
On the other hand, people who use their hand gestures, hold their hands
themselves; are people who are open to discussion and feel completely
comfortable.
Not just because of their belly but also because of their expressiveness.
After all, if they're not using their arms to "protect" themselves; they must
be using them to either show openness (arms behind back) or express their
The problem with body language is that most people will stop there.
Their words won't match their actions and they will look like arrogant
fools.
If you want to express a con ident body language, make sure what you say
The most simple and easy hack to talk with con idence is to speak slowly.
interlocutor/audience
Another thing people don't realize is that most of your interlocutors aren't
THAT interested
The longer you'll talk, the less people will listen to you
How to ix?
By speaking very little and slowly you exude con idence; Here is why.
-You can be articulated -You don't confuse your audience -You are clear
and concise -You know what you're talking about and don't need much to
Simple; ef icace.
Unless you are asking a rhetoric question to which you don't expect an
answer.
To recap;
-Use short sentences -Speak slowly and take breaks -Avoid uncertainty
By doing this you make sure body language & speech match
The handshake
We've seen a few parameters and elements that constitute people's body
language.
Now, it does happen that people try to use a body language that doesn't
Oftentimes, that person has basic knowledge in body language and will try
Question is:
As an example, take someone that walks into a room with a bumped chest
That's why it's important to analyze the rest of their behavior and not judge
When someone is about to shake your hand, look at their neck and how
People who are extremely will usually not lean in, that you already know.
But they will also not tilt their head and keep their neck straight.
People with high self-con idence do not shake hands too irmly nor do they
Why?
Always remember that the more natural it seems the more genuine they
Watch for people's hand movement, watch for where they direct their
Everybody can bump a chest, but if the test of the tells don't add up,
One of the most important sides of body language is the way people walk.
Afterall before evening opening your mouth, you'll need to get there so
The steps you take, the way you do it; are a direct re ection of your
Someone waking with their head high, not looking down; wide shoulders
Their walking position exudes the feeling that they are not people you
Through that, you can tell how much you can be insisting or even to which
The more space you take around you when you walk, the more open to the
The more you communicate your con idence and will to ight.
Like what?
Like themselves.
Those people are not con ident enough to deal with people's eye pressure.
Next time you walk into a room; make sure you take as much physical space
as you can.
Conquer the physical space and you'll win half of the psychological battle.
Muscles
nerves.
That's exactly why people who are uncomfortable tend for example to
Don't trust their words or their tone, trust their body because most
Eyes
Blinking : People often blink more rapidly when they are feeling
distressed or uncomfortable.
Pupil size: Highly dilated eyes, for example, can indicate that a
situation/conversation.
Now, it's the way those muscles are used that de ine the nature of the
The wider the eyes the more open the person is to discussion and the
too). As the eyes get wider we go from openness to surprise but still
One sign for both is surely the eyebrows as they are directly impacted
by such muscular movements and can tell us a hell lot about our
interlocutor's openness.
Pupils.
dilated.
I've used this little trick in poker quite a few times (and I'm not the
tournaments).
The less dilated, the less emotions are involved and vice-versa.
Bonus tip:
Light head tilt forward and eyes looking up to make eye contact.
Guys, I don't recommend you doing this though you'll look like a
pervert.
emotional reaction.
disapproval.
Gestures
others.
disapproval.
the same signal is used to imply you are nothing. In some South
closed-o .
need of privacy.
toward the sky, or standing like Superman, with your hands on hips -
Try it before you step into a situation in which you know you'll feel
Reverse story
Tips BL extra
Open posture involves keeping the trunk of the body open and
and willingness.
hunching forward and keeping the arms and legs crossed. This
and anxiety.
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