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E g o D r i v e n

Body
Language
Basics
Body Language Basics

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Body Language Basics


Body language determines more than 50% of the course of a conversation.

Subconscious positions and gestures can make a huge di erence as to how

a conversation goes.

Some unthoughtful reactions can put us in submissive positions without

even realizing it.

Before you even realize it, sometimes your body language betrays you and

gives your interlocutor an edge on the conversation.

More often than not, body language de ines who runs the show in one-on-

one conversation

With the quarantine and lockdowns, most people's skills got rusty

Leaning in and leaning back:

While conversing with someone, we will subconsciously tend to lean in

when we are interested in what is being said.

This gesture comes from a desire to get closer to your interlocutor and pay

more attention to what they have to say.

However, if not used properly, this can send the wrong subliminal

messages to the person in front.

If during the whole conversation you are leaning in, you signal that your

interlocutor has your total attention

Body Language Basics


Which shouldn't be the case.

Alternate leaning in and leaning back

Keep your head straight:

Tilting your head signals submissiveness.

You will notice that someone who tilts their head, positions it in an

uncomfortable position.

Very often in an attempt to make their head lower than their interlocutor's

head.

If you ever catch yourself in such a position, make sure to slowly lean back

(refer to point 1) and ix your head's position.

Taking a more relaxed and comfortable position will give an opposing

signal and ix the "mistake" you just made.

Use gestures

Italians are very well known for this.

Italians are also known for being classy.

Using gestures to illustrate your words radiates passion and expresses a

vivid interest in what you are saying.

It also helps your interlocutor understand better.

Body Language Basics


While for you, it shows that you are comfortable with occupying the space

around you and are not ashamed of expressing yourself.

Big con idence sign.

However, raising your hands and arms above your shoulders will be

negatively perceived as it can be confused with aggressiveness

Increase your engagement

Facing the person you're talking to shows a sign of interest and

engagement, on top of that, keeping arms and legs open rather than closed

will signal openness

By conversing in such a position, you de facto take an ascendant position

on your interlocutor.

How to Analyze Body Language

Body language isn't just a few types of behavior to analyze but rather a mix

of many tells that can help you better understand the person in front of

you.

Most of the time, body language is very e ective in order to discern the

genuineness of a person and decide whether or not they are worthy of

trust/a good person in general.

1- Their Eyes:

One of the most important things in body language is people's eye contact.

Body Language Basics


An example would be of someone who tries as much as they can to get eye

contact with others is either:

Looking for approval, in the case of someone who's selective rather

than inclusive; someone who would do this with only a few people but

ignore others

Trying to make everyone comfortable, in the opposite case of

someone who is trying to be inclusive and make everyone feel part of

the group

A last example, is someone who, as opposed to the previous example,

avoids eye contact.

Just like in the last example, there are two cases:

Selective: Wants to make a point that not everyone in this group is worth

the same to them.

Exclusive: Is either afraid or considers themselves superior to the

situation; they'd rather be elsewhere. Uncomfortable for sure, but not

necessarily weak.

However, eye contact is not the only parameter to take into consideration

when it comes to people's body language through eyes.

Let me explain.

Many will tell you that insisting eye contact is a sign of con idence and/or

genuine attention, it's important to keep in mind that people will use this

common belief to lure others.

A liar might be looking straight into your eyes and still lie in your face.

Body Language Basics


Which makes this argument irrelevant.

Instead, also analyze what people look at, not just the intensity at which

they do.

Wait for a time where the person is not having a conversation, as it tells

more than when they are trying to give an impression, there is more

genuineness to it.

Someone who looks at other people's clothes or possessions for example is

someone that is comparing himself to the other person.

2- The Space They Take:

Space and body language are VERY closely related.

For this however, it's a bit more straightforward compared to the eyes.

The more space they take, the more con ident and comfortable they are.

What I mean by space goes from how they walk, stand, sit to how they eat

and speak.

It's however important to note that, sometimes, when they take too much

space, it becomes obvious that they're rather insecure or completely

stupid.

Con ident people do take space but they do not impose themselves in the

personal space of others.

Why? Because they care about their own personal space.

Body Language Basics


They respect the limits but will stand right on them without ever crossing

them or threatening to do so.

3- The Head Stability:

Head stability is not only a sign of con idence but also a sign of interest.

If they're moving their head too much, looking around sometimes or

simply trying to ind the right position, they're uncomfortable and

intimidated or completely disinterested.

PS: You will be able to draw a conclusion if you analyze the other

parameters.

A stable head movement on the other hand expresses the ease and self-

acceptance, the person knows how they look and how they behave and do

not try to ind the 'right' head position as they feel comfortable being

themselves. It is often a sign of someone that does not seek validation.

However, a very rigid head movement, too stable and not exible enough

indicates the opposite; since it probably comes from an e ort to appear

concentrated and interested or even sometimes superior (big fail).

This last type of head movement shows someone that is trying to show

someone they're not really;

It screams insecurity.

4- Do they hide their belly & torso?

Crossed arms? Uncomfortable, not open for discussion.

It also shows anxiety and vulnerability.

Body Language Basics


Leave them alone unless you want to make them feel uncomfortable for

whatever valid (I hope it's valid) reason. This defensive position comes from

our natural instinct of protecting our torso and belly from physical attacks.

Someone in this position can very quickly get angry/sad as they probably

feel attacked.

A weak position that says long about what's going on in their mind.

On the other hand, people who use their hand gestures, hold their hands

on their back, or do anything that doesn't involve closing down on

themselves; are people who are open to discussion and feel completely

comfortable.

Not just because of their belly but also because of their expressiveness.

After all, if they're not using their arms to "protect" themselves; they must

be using them to either show openness (arms behind back) or express their

ideas through hand gestures.

How to Talk with Con idence

The problem with body language is that most people will stop there.

Their words won't match their actions and they will look like arrogant

fools.

Don't be that person.

If you want to express a con ident body language, make sure what you say

doesn't tarnish your e orts.

The most simple and easy hack to talk with con idence is to speak slowly.

Body Language Basics


Taking breaks and reducing the pace will grow the interest of your

interlocutor/audience

While also allowing you to properly think of your next words.

This is undoubtedly the irst thing to implement.

Another thing people don't realize is that most of your interlocutors aren't

THAT interested

No matter who you are and what you have to say

The longer you'll talk, the less people will listen to you

How to ix?

Use short sentences

Be straight to the point and forget the u

By speaking very little and slowly you exude con idence; Here is why.

-You can be articulated -You don't confuse your audience -You are clear

and concise -You know what you're talking about and don't need much to

express it -You create momentum while you talk

Simple; ef icace.

If it can be a sentence; don't make it a question.

Unless you are asking a rhetoric question to which you don't expect an

answer.

Forget about ending your sentences with:

Body Language Basics


-"Right?" -"Don't you think?"

Forget uncertainty expressions like:

-"I suppose" -"I believe" -"I think"

To recap;

3 things that will help you talk with con idence:

-Use short sentences -Speak slowly and take breaks -Avoid uncertainty

By doing this you make sure body language & speech match

You also make sure to set boundaries to others

They now know that you value yourself

How to know if someone is faking it?

The handshake

We've seen a few parameters and elements that constitute people's body

language.

Now, it does happen that people try to use a body language that doesn't

necessarily it their thoughts.

Oftentimes, that person has basic knowledge in body language and will try

to in uence people's impression of them by behaving in speci ic ways.

Question is:

Body Language Basics


How do we make the di erence between genuine and fake body language?

The answer is very simple:

People who are faking it will have inconsistencies.

As an example, take someone that walks into a room with a bumped chest

and try to take as much space around them as they can.

So far, this would logically indicate strong self-con idence.

BUT, this is only one of the many elements of body language.

That's why it's important to analyze the rest of their behavior and not judge

based on only one element.

Here is something that never fails:

When someone is about to shake your hand, look at their neck and how

their head tilts.

People who are extremely will usually not lean in, that you already know.

But they will also not tilt their head and keep their neck straight.

Also, the more insisting and irm their handshake is:

The less con ident they are.

Yes. You read that right.

People with high self-con idence do not shake hands too irmly nor do they

insist too long.

Why?

Body Language Basics


Because they don't consider that they need to prove anything.

Always remember that the more natural it seems the more genuine they

are (or very good at faking it)

Body Language is in the details. Not the obvious signs.

Watch for people's hand movement, watch for where they direct their

visual attention etc..

Everybody can bump a chest, but if the test of the tells don't add up,

You're being lured.

Body Language Basics


How to Walk the Talk:

One of the most important sides of body language is the way people walk.

Afterall before evening opening your mouth, you'll need to get there so

they can hear what you'll say.

The steps you take, the way you do it; are a direct re ection of your

thoughts and mental state.

Someone waking with their head high, not looking down; wide shoulders

and a looking around them

Are obviously the type of people to radiate con idence.

Their walking position exudes the feeling that they are not people you

should fuck with.

People communicate through their body and walk.

Through that, you can tell how much you can be insisting or even to which

extent they expect you to respect them.

Someone looking down and folded on himself on the other hand...

That person is telling everyone they can be abused.

The more space you take around you when you walk, the more open to the

external world you are

The more you communicate your con idence and will to ight.

Body Language Basics


Someone who tries to be as small as possible is someone that is ashamed to

be seen. They have stu to hide.

Like what?

Like themselves.

Those people are not con ident enough to deal with people's eye pressure.

They believe themselves not to be worthy to be looked at.

You don't need to be a genius to think...

Why should you respect someone like that?

They don't expect you to respect them.

Next time you walk into a room; make sure you take as much physical space

as you can.

Impose your presence on the people around you.

Conquer the physical space and you'll win half of the psychological battle.

This applies to business even more accurately.

Body Language Basics


Micro Expression Basics:

Muscles

Tense muscles = Negative emotions

Whether is a closed ist, a rigid body movement, or a tense micro-

expression, our muscles always betray us.

Instead of analyzing a general body language pattern, analyze the

micro movements, especially muscles because they're related to

nerves.

That's exactly why people who are uncomfortable tend for example to

have narrow eyes or tap with their feet on the ground.

Don't trust their words or their tone, trust their body because most

people don't control all of it.

Eyes

Eye gaze: Directly eye contact indicates interest and paying

attention. Prolonged eye contact can feel threatening.

Blinking : People often blink more rapidly when they are feeling

distressed or uncomfortable.

Pupil size: Highly dilated eyes, for example, can indicate that a

person is interested or even aroused.

Body Language Basics


A few things to know about the eyes part of body language:

There is a direct correlation between the muscles used around

someone's eyes and the interest they're giving to the

situation/conversation.

This is actually more useful than simply analyzing eye contact.

Because eye contact can be faked, interest can't.

Now, it's the way those muscles are used that de ine the nature of the

interest and the emotions behind.

Now how do we make the distinction between di erent emotions?

It's quite simple.

The wider the eyes the more open the person is to discussion and the

information they are presented with (wide eyes do require muscles

too). As the eyes get wider we go from openness to surprise but still

conveying a positive message.

As opposed to tense eye muscles or narrow eyes which convey a sense

of resistance and refusal to engage or accept the

information/situation they're presented with.

One sign for both is surely the eyebrows as they are directly impacted

by such muscular movements and can tell us a hell lot about our

interlocutor's openness.

Body Language Basics


In addition, there is that one little thing with the eyes that never fails.

Pupils.

Pupils convey excitement/intense emotions every time they're

dilated.

I've used this little trick in poker quite a few times (and I'm not the

only one, hence why most professionals wear sunglasses at poker

tournaments).

The less dilated, the less emotions are involved and vice-versa.

Bonus tip:

If they're doing this, they're seeking your approval:

Light head tilt forward and eyes looking up to make eye contact.

This is a submissive position in which the interlocutor tries to make

themselves smaller as they give you the impression of being above

and will literally "look up" to you.

This is often used by women when they're irting.

Guys, I don't recommend you doing this though you'll look like a

pervert.

Body Language Basics


Lips

Pursed lips: an indicator of distaste, disapproval, or distrust.

Lip biting : signals people are worried, anxious, or stressed.

Covering the mouth : used when people want to hide an

emotional reaction.

Turned up or down: When the mouth is slightly turned up, it

might mean that the person is feeling happy or optimistic. A

slightly down-turned mouth can be an indicator of sadness/

disapproval.

Gestures

A clenched ist indicates anger in some situations or solidarity in

others.

A thumbs up and thumbs down: gestures of approval and

disapproval.

The "okay" gesture: "okay" or "all right." In some parts of Europe,

the same signal is used to imply you are nothing. In some South

American countries, the symbol is actually a vulgar gesture.

The V sign: peace or victory in some countries. In the UK and

Australia, the symbol takes on an o ensive meaning when the

back of the hand is facing outward.

Body Language Basics


Arms and Legs

Crossed arms: a person feels defensive, self-protective, or

closed-o .

Standing with hands placed on the hips: an indication that a

person is ready and in control, or is a sign of aggressiveness.

Clasping the hands behind the back: might indicate bored,

anxiety, or even anger.

Rapidly tapping ingers or idgeting can be a sign that of

boredom, impatience or frustration.

Crossed legs can indicate that a person is feeling closed o or in

need of privacy.

Body Language Basics


Program for power

2 minutes of power posing - standing tall, holding your arms out or

toward the sky, or standing like Superman, with your hands on hips -

will dramatically increase your con idence.

Try it before you step into a situation in which you know you'll feel

nervous, insecure, or intimidated.

Reverse story

The passive process of observing a potential liar's body language and

facial expressions to spot lies is limited.

Adopt a more active approach by asking the individual to relate their

story in reverse order rather than chronological order.

Tips BL extra

While body language cues can o er clues to deceptions, it is often not

good enough. More accurate signals are:

Intentionally leaving out important details.

If the person seems unsure or insecure.

Shrugging, lack of expression, and a bored posture.

Thinking too hard to ill in the details of the story.

Body Language Basics


Posture:

Open posture involves keeping the trunk of the body open and

exposed. This type of posture indicates friendliness, openness,

and willingness.

Closed posture involves hiding the trunk of the body often by

hunching forward and keeping the arms and legs crossed. This

type of posture can be an indicator of hostility, unfriendliness,

and anxiety.

Recommended Resources:

Vizier by Dentes Leo

The Manipulators Bible by Evil Saint

How To Command Respect by Evil Saint

Becoming Unstoppable by Fateh Shernu

Dr David Snyder’s Youtube Channel

Charisma on Command - Youtube Channel

Body Language Basics

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