SCENE-10
He always
Lucy: I'm having an affair. I like Jack.
Jerry: Who's Jack?
Lucy: Peter's brother.
Jerry: So?
Lucy: So he thinks I'm engaged.
Jerry: To who?
Lucy: To Peter.
Jerry: Lucy I really don't have time for
this.
Lucy: Oh, no. You have to tell me what to
do.
Jerry: Tell the truth!
Lucy: If I tell Jack that I lied to his family,
he will never speak to me again.
And, and, and Ox and Midge and Mary and,
and, and Saul.
Jerry: Saul? Who's Saul?
Lucy: He's the next door neighbor.
But you know what? Actually, he knows.
Jerry: Lucy, you're born into a family.
You do not join them like you do the
Marines.
Lucy: You have to tell me what to do.
Jerry: Pull the plug.
Lucy: You are sick.
Jerry: I'm sick? You're cheating on a
vegetable.
Jack: Down and dirty. Are you gonna fold?
You're not gonna fold?
Ooh, he is staying in with a pair.
Very impressive. Very bold. Confident.
Full house. You are unlucky at cards.
But lucky in love. Remember in, like, uh,
fifth or sixth grade, I was startin' to get
really good at poker and, uh, goin' home
with lots of lunch money? I got to know the
principal's office really well.
used to say to me, "How come you can't be
more like your brother, Peter?" Well, you
know what? I was all right with that. I had
no problems with that because I was proud
of you. And I was never envious of anything
that you had. Until now. I'll cut the deck.
High card gets Lucy. All right, we'll go best
out of three.
Midge: So, Lucy, have you and Peter
decided where you're gonna go on your
honeymoon? Hm?
Saul: I went to Cuba.
Elise: Ricky Ricardo was Cuban.
Midge: Didn't Peter look great today?
Saul: Aw, that kid. You know, he should've
been an actor.
Elise: He's tall.
Ox: All the great ones were tall.
Midge: Lucy? Do you think you can find
me a nice girl for jack?
Jack: Oh, Mom. come on.
Lucy: Well, I-I really don't know Jack's
type, so I am not one to, um....
Jack: I like blondes. Chubby ones.
Saul: Alan Ladd wasn't tall.
Ox: Marshal Dillon was six foot five.
Midge: Oh. Well, we all know who Lucy's
type is. Mmm. These mashed potatoes are
so creamy.
Mary: You like brunettes.
Elise: I could never make a good pot roast.
Saul: You need good beef. Argentina has
great beef. Beef and Nazis.
Ox: John Wayne was tall.
Saul: Dustin Hoffman was five-six.
Ox: Would you wanna see Dustin Hoffman
save the Alamo?
Midge: These mashed potatoes are so
creamy.
Saul: Spain has good beef.
Midge: Mary mashed'em.
Saul: Caesar romero was tall.
Elise: Caesar Romero was not Spanish.
Saul: I didn't say Caesar Romero was
Spanish.
Elise: Well, what did you say?
Saul: I said Caesar Romero was tall.
Elise: We all know he's tall.
Saul: Well, that's what I said.
Caesar Romero is tall. That's all I said.
Midge: So if you need any help with
history, don't call me. Now remember,
honey, if you're free for New Year's, we
wanna see you.
Lucy: Thank you very much. I had a great
time.
Midge: Yeah. Us, too. Thanks for coming.
Together: Bye. Bye bye, Lucy.
Bye bye. Good night.
Mary: Hey, look, you guys. You're under
the mistletoe. Ooo-oo.
Elise: Kiss her then. Yeah.
Elise: It's mistletoe.
Midge: It's tradition.
Ox: It's Christmas.
Elise: Oh, come on, idiot, kiss her.
Together: There you go. Oh, yeah.
Good night. Bye. Good night
Midge: Come on, Mary, we're both on dish
detail tonight.
Mary: Oh, Ma!
Midge: Let's go.
Mr: Regular fare.
Mary: One token, please.
Lucy: Oh, my God, Mary, what are you
doing here? Hi. Do you guys wanna-- You
wanna come through?
Mary: We can?
Lucy: Yeah, absolutely. Come on in.
Mary: Hi!
Lucy: Hi.....
Celeste: Hey, who's this?
Mary: I'm Mary. This is Beth.
Celeste: Hi.
Lucy: Um, Mary's, Mary's my, um...uh...
Mary: Lucy's going to marry my brother,
Peter.
Celeste: What?! Luch you're getting
married?
Lucy: Well, it hasn't really been announced.
So it's a little awkward for me to say
anything. And, um...train.
It's here.
Mary: Train. Okay, uh, I'll see you later.
Okay.
Lucy: Thank you for coming. It's nice to
meet you, Beth.
Celeste: Girl, are you pregnant?
Lucy: Yes, I'm pregnant, Celeste.
Celeste: Lucy, you're not tellin' me
what's going on. You're not givin' me
details. Details. What's going on?
Lucy: Okay, Celeste, you have to have sex
in order to be pregnant.
Celeste: But I thought you were engaged.
Lucy: Well, we're t-- We're waiting.
Celeste: Waiting?
Ashley: Peter? Hi, it's Ashley. Is this
machine working? Look, I'm back in
Chicago and, uh, I'm kind of shocked that
you haven't called me back. Look, I really
would, uh, like to hear from you, and I'd like
to see my cat. Call me.
Elise: New Year's Eve hasn't been the same
since Guy Lombardo died.
Saul: I love a clarinet. You know, nobody
plays the clarinet anymore.
Elise: Guy Lombardo didn't play the
clarinet.
Saul: I didn't say Guy Lombardo played the
clarinet.
Ox: You know, your Benny Goodman,
he could play the licorice stick. Hey. pop,
Jack: We got the Van allan Estate.
Ox: Hey, way to go! Atta boy!
Together: Ohh. That's great. That's great.
Mary: Hey, everybody?
Lucy's pregnant.
Midge: How did you find out?
What do you mean she's pregnant? How do
you know?
Mary: Well, I.. ha... that's what Beth said....
Midge: Jack, do y-- Jack?
Do you know anything about this?
Saul: Go up to your room.