LS 2021: THE YEAR OF ORANGE

OPENING INTERLUDE: WAITING FOR A BLUE SKY

So far 2021 has proven to be the aftermath and clean up of the events that happened in
2020 with the vaccination program in the uk going surprisingly well despite Boris Johnson
being an idiot. This is meant to be the final lockdown but at the same time the future remains
uncertain with the new variants of covid appearing this may not be the final lockdown.

ARC ONE: CLOUDS

CHAPTER ONE: What now?

JANUARY 1st 2021

There was a sense of relief that 2020 was over despite the fact that it was early in this
lockdown but at the same time I knew that the mess from 2020 wouldn't magically disappear
just because the date was new. I watched an absolutely beautiful and FANTASTIC video
about 2020 by zeepstard called 2020: the year of fear and I also watched a video about a
YouTuber called Sean Chandler talks about that was about him ranking all 87 movies he saw
in 2020·

JANUARY 2nd 2021

This was the first instance of my laptop's keyboard glitching since I sprayed it because I'm
an impulsive germaphobe and I suffered the consequences with some keys fusing together
digitally but it quickly disappeared,Until…

JANUARY 3rd,4th & 5th 2021

...the next day when it came back and some keys such as backspace and power just flat out
not working and I tried to research what was going on but since some keys were fused it
wasn't easy until I was looking through the settings to find a way to fix it I found out you could
change what a few select buttons ( Search,Ctrl,Alt,Escape and Backspace ) did and I
changed search to backspace and I was able to delete the letters that shouldn't have been
there and I looked up how to fix a laptop that's been wet but nothing helped me and while I
was looking through the settings to find a way to fix it I clicked on the docked magnifier
setting out of curiosity and because I'd never heard the term magnifier before then and I was
disappointed when I found out it magnified the screen and said disappointment turned into
frustration when it was difficult to navigate,So much so that I had to go onto guest mode and
that was when I realised the privileges of having an account. I tried to fix it by putting it next
to the fan above the oven but it did absolutely nothing and to fix it and I turned the laptop off
using the digital power button but I soon remembered that the real power button didn't work
and that made me feel very bad since my laptop and distractions in general are basically one
of the only reasons I get up in the morning since If I can't distract myself then i have deal
with how much of a chore life is and only thinking about that and if i can forget about
it,through any method

JANUARY 6th 2021

After a few days of my my mind yelling at me,I found out that if I put the charger in the
laptop and opened it would turn on automatically turn on and when I tried doing that it
worked and when I dug through the settings I found out that there was an on screen
keyboard setting and I turned it on and I managed to log into my account and turn off that
stupid docked magnifier setting and I listened some stuff while writing my first diary and I
even put on an episode of evangelion but I was only able to watch a few minutes of it before
I found out we were going to the shops and then I put an oversimplified video about a war in
China and put my headphones on and I planned to keep them on until it was time to go and
that including when me and Ocean were waiting for Mum downstairs but I forgot while talking
to the woman in flat 1,Camilla and when Mum came downstairs I remembered,I went
upstairs only to find out the door was locked and I decided to wear them around my neck
since if I'm far from the laptop then they're basically useless. When Mum saw them and
asked me what they were doing there I explained what happened. After we went shop Mum
really needed to pee and I drank a whole bottle of ribena so long story short we ended
running home.

JANUARY 7th 2020

Soon after Mum woke up she told me to either research about puberty or maths and I chose
puberty because it would be easier but I wasn't excited because as cliche as this sounds
puberty is awkward and I just want it to continue without me noticing it and I already knew
what happens in puberty,The b.o,The hairs on genitals,The banana peeling ( masterbation )
and lots more and personally I don't want to think about that and it doesn't help that say if
something sexual came on the tv at Nannys,Aunty Lalas, Or a few others house and I'm
Drawing they might say something along the lines of “ I know you're looking. “ At first Mum
said to play a video about puberty in guys and she quickly assumed that I was embarrassed
and told me I could use the headphones but then I told her I'd rather read about puberty (
Mainly because they'd say something generic like “ YoU MaY NoTiCe YoUr BoDy Is GoInG
tHrOuGh AlOt Of ChAnGeS. “ So I went on Wikipedia's puberty page and it felt
biassed,shallow and uncomfortable since when I read the part about puberty in boys it said “
In the past,early onset of puberty has been associated with positive outcomes,such as
leadership in highschool leadership and success in adulthood. However, recent studies have
revealed that the risks and problems of early maturation in males might outweigh the
benefits. Early-maturing boys develop “ more aggressive,Law breaking and alcohol abusing “
behaviours, which result in anger towards parents and trouble in school and with the police.
Early puberty also correlates with increased sexual activity and a higher instance of teenage
pregnancy, Both of which to depression and other psychological issues. However early
puberty might also result in positive outcomes, Such as popularity among peers, Higher self
esteem and confidence, As a result of Physical developments, Such as taller
height,Developed muscles,Muscular male breast and better athletic ability. On the other
hand,Late maturing boys develop lower self esteem and confidence and generally have
lower popularity among peers, Due to their less developed physiques. Also they experience
problems with anxiety and depression and are more likely to be afraid of sex than other
boys. “ First of all I'm not saying that the bad stuff doesn't happen but it left out one big
thing,The most powerful and influential thing in the world and possibly universe,Choice,Since
in the end no one is completely destined to do anything and it said that boys “ Develop “
Those decisions and behaviours even though it's impossible for anyone to develop a
decision or behaviour unless you choose to or to emulate someone else's behaviors, Both of
which don't and can't happen to everyone and not just that,It was also was very shallow
when it said the benefits of puberty in boys and that some guys develop later since it
basically said “ If you look like the societal peak of masculinity early into puberty than you will
be successful in highschool,However if you don't then you are doomed to be a
depressed,outcast. “ Which can be a damaging way to think but they didn't generalise in the
girls section which is both good and bad thing,Good because it provides useful
information,But bad because whoever wrote the page didn't put the same effort into the boys
section and because both parts we're unnecessarily pessimistic and didn't provide any
solutions for the problems. When I first read it I was mad and when I told Mum about it she
agreed it was bad and she said if I can tell something is bullshit then I don't have to read it
any further. Thankfully I later found better articles.

JANUARY 10th 2021

I Tried to write the Entire plot of the first 6 volumes of RWBY but gave up before I even wrote
a word.

JANUARY 11th 2021

I watched some of a review of a horror movie called Megan is missing by goose boose that
apparently traumatised tik tok but I wouldn't Know. I turned it off halfway through since it was
disturbing,even though I quickly went back to it and it was messed up but great.

JANUARY 12th 2021

It was Mum's birthday and I was slightly nervous that she would be cranky because it was
her birthday but it went fine, However After Ocean interrupted me spreading my toast I got
mad and banged the glass of Nutella since I had to Hoover Afterwards,Thankfully it didn't
break but Mum moved me out of the front room and at first I was mad but I quickly
apologised and the rest of the day went well. This was also the start of her short lived reality
show addiction specifically to married at first sight Australia. This also may have been the
day I wore my headphones in the bath and they broke.

JANUARY 13th 2021

I looked for some old earphones ( and sweets ) which mum made a few jokes about..

JANUARY 14th 2021

I decided to use Mum's earphones and the first song I listened to was sorcererz by Gorillaz
and I was instantly blown away by the sound quality since before then the only earphones I
used had one with no sound or something like that and when Mum saw me with them she
was apprehensive but let me use them for a few minutes and to this day I still borrow them.

JANUARY 16th 2021

After a few months I decided to watch an episode of the anime mushishi and while I like the
show, If it was a type of food it would be exquisitely buttered brown bread since the content
has pretty good substance but can be dry,7/10 so I decided to put on the on hold section of
my MAL account.

JANUARY 17th 2021

After hundreds,possibly thousands of honey ads This was the day I gave in and downloaded
it,not even to use it but just because I thought I wouldn’t get the ads if I downloaded it but I
was wrong and I eventually downloaded adblock plus which IS LEGAL.

JANUARY 18th 2021

I watched a couple videos from goose boose's traumathon 2,A series of videos where he
talks about scary things from the pop culture of his generation.

JANUARY 19th 2020

This was when me and Mum finished Cobra Kai season 2 since we had been watching it. I'd
give season 1 a 8.0 and season 2 an 8.3 and it would've gotten a light 9 if it wasn't for the
absolutely STUPID finale. And I watched some of the first episode of the anime kemono
jihen. Also I listened to some daft punk songs even though I don't know much about them.
But after a while I looked up how to stop wetting the bed because my new year's resolution is
to stop before my birthday. Later I tried to find a song that aunty shernet played a while back
that I swear is called LAX to JFK but for the life of me find it.

JANUARY 20th 2020

I tried to find episodes of dragon ball z and listened to some of the humanz super deluxe
tracks.

JANUARY 21st 2021

I looked up the cast of atypical ( a show I hate ) to see if the actor who played eli in cobra kai
played the main character in atypical since eli looked similar to the atypical guy and eli
basically has the same personality as the atypical guy but i assumed wrong. I also watched a
video about how netflix has no variety and also
 I gave up trying to find a legal way to watch dbz and pirated it. And watched a review of
Sia's awful movie about autism that misrepresented aspies and I learned that sia got
information about autism from AUTISM SPEAKS,An organisation that that wants to cure
autism just because it's different and when the first actress for the film had a meltdown
because the set wasn't autism friendly ( Bright lights,Loud noise etc ) she didn't bother to
change the set fired her since she's a lazy bitch and replaced her with a neurotypical actress
and some of her SIMPS/fans told her “ Oh DoNt LiStEn To YoUr HaTeRs. “ even though
most of the criticism wasn't very harsh. Thankfully when I told Mum she said she wouldn't
support her anymore. I've heard there was a scene in the film that portrayed autistic restraint
as positive which is actually disgusting and she apparently apologised but I honestly don't
give a damn,Celebrities apologise for doing horrible things all the time and she said that she
would pay for the damage the movie caused but she didn't call ban it,Sure she said she'll
remove the scene were the autistic character who isn't played by a neurotypical woman got
restrained in a way that can kill someone and she'll apparently make the and the worst part
is that someone with no knowledge of autism could watch it and think autistic people think
like a drug induced monkey,Don't mind loud and flashing lights and colours,Blasting noise
and more misconceptions.

JANUARY 23rd 2021

I played the Aries Gorillaz game and signed into their site.

JANUARY 24th 2021

Apparently the creator of Minecraft,Notch had made offensive tweets ( Which I found out
from one of 3 very good Minecraft Iceberg videos ) and since no one was talking about it in
any detail aside from mentioning it because of YouTube's bs,I decided to look up his Twitter
but it was deleted. I also watched some of sk8 infinity.

JANUARY 25th 2020

I laughed my ass off so hard I couldn't feel it because I watched an absolutely hilarious
reaction to the anime ex arm.

JANUARY 26th 2020

I finished listening to the Kendrick Lamar ep since a video about his rise to fame convinced
me to listen to his albums. 7.3 out of 10

JANUARY 27th 2021

I listened to section 80 which Is my least favourite of his main albums but it has some merit.
Also I watched a video about Erratas,An urban legend That says if you search it you'll go
missing. But it made me underwhelmed when I found out it wasn't true. Also when Mum got
back she gave me a DVD of all four diary of a wimpy kid movies but later when the noise of
me trying to stop Ocean from Being annoying Kept slightly interrupting married at first sight
Australia, she came in and turned it off and said something along the lines of “ If I can't enjoy
my thing, you can't enjoy yours. “

JANUARY 28th 2021

This was Ocean's birthday and while I know there was an argument at the start of the
day,The rest of it went smoothly,We went downstairs and Mum did a puppet show for
Ocean,We went in the refuge's garden and when we went in Mum got the birthday cake she
brought the day before and we all sang happy birthday And it was nice,Until Nanny called
and that was even fine from the start until I found out my dad was at Nanny's and he wanted
to talk to Ocean which is fine until you realise that after dad calls me or ocean then he asks
us to give the phone to Mum and that could cause him to know where we are later down the
line,Or worse convince Mum to go back to tonbridge,and I always do give him the phone out
of fear of his anger,And even though dad didn't ask for Mum to speak to him,Nanny said that
she gave him Mum's phone number and that made me angry,Nervous and weary of going to
Nanny's since my dad might show up. Thankfully I relistened to plastic beach since I thought
it was overrated but when I relistened to it I realised it deserves all the credit it gets and gave
it a 9.5 out of 10.

JANUARY 29th 2021

A Lot happened on This day,I watched a video about how hype kills art,finished section 80 (
good but pretty underwhelming 7.2 ),watched an scp iceberg Video since I was addicted to
iceberg videos in January, But some of them disturbed me, and I looked up Why my elbow
pits smell but I couldn't find anything answering that question.

JANUARY 31st 2021

I watched the first episode of the anime kemono jihen,A supernatural,Shonen detective
anime and that first one is really good and had twists and turns that genuinely caught me off
guard. 8.0.
I was also recommended a Reddit article from the unpopular opinions or too afraid to ask
subreddit that asked if anyone else was sick of hearing about what was happening to
GameStop and I agreed because I don't know anything about crap economics and I'm not
going to learn it to learn about something I don't give a damn about. I also had a strange
problem where the skip button didn't appear on ads ( I disabled adblock so I could use a site )
And I INSTANTANEOUSLY thought it was Google and so I looked up something along the
lines of “ Google removed skip button “ And I couldn't find anything useful so I just decided it
was something wrong with my laptop.

FEBRUARY 1st 2021

I listened to Kendrick Lamar's latest album,Damn and it was good but probably his second
worst album,Some songs dragged on for to long,LOVE,PRIDE & FEEL are just soulless and
bad and aside from FEAR,YAH and maybe XXX and DNA None of the other tracks had
emotional impact unlike good kid,m.A.A.d city with the overall albums story being Impactful
and to pimp a butterfly only had 4 out of 16 tracks ( I,complexion,hood politics,You ain't gotta
lie ) That didn't leave an emotional impact,But Most of the sound of the album is pretty good
and it has some of his best songs so 7.7.

FEBRUARY 2nd 2021

A few days or weeks before this day Mum started making me watch bitesize before I could
use my laptop. But I woke up before Mum so I was able to watch some stuff before I had to
watch bitesize,Including The sequel to his “ Groomer's shouldn't apologise. “ video ( That
called out groomers ) But I was surprised when I found out that cosmodore fell in love with
and stalked an underage girl,Mainly because I used to watch his videos. I also watched a
couple episodes of So I'm a Spider,So What and I liked it despite not liking the first 12
minutes that Crunchyroll released in January. Also I think I got Mum to listen to plastic beach.

FEBRUARY 3rd 2021

I listened to 3 tracks from clippings-Splendour and misery ( An album I heard was concept
heavy ) before getting distracted.
FEBRUARY 4th 2021

I also listened to splendor and misery and watched an analysis of it and it's about a revolution
on a slave spaceship with the aftermath being them overthrowing the ship but only one slave
survives and soon the ship becomes fond of the slave and they fall in love and then the slave
goes into cryosleep and dreams up realities while the ship tries to find a world with life. Also it
snowed

FEBRUARY 5th 2021

I watched some of an episode of the anime sk8 the infinity and also watched a video about
anime coming out this season. I also watched the first episode of shield hero and I liked it.
and
I also think that Mum finished plastic beach and she gave it an 8.5.
Each song felt like a different world. I also watched diary of a wimpy kid 4 and it was
legitimately an atrocity and a crap on the diary of a wimpy kid franchise,In Fact it was so
bad,So terrible,So awful that I removed it from the other 3 movies and put it in one of three
coverless dvd cases so I would forget it.I relistened to the latest Gorillaz album,Song
machine since I didn't like it at first and when I finished it I liked it,It's definitely their most
visual album with some STIFFFF competition.

FEBRUARY 10th 2021

The wi-fi stopped working and the TV Aerial fell out But for a while nobody noticed. We had
take away and even though Mum put the Ariel inside the tv,We just agreed to watch

FEBRUARY 12th 2021

Tess installed a new wi-fi network but for some reason I power washed My second laptop to
get rid of an account I wasn't using since there wasn’t any other way but since the Wi-Fi
wasn't working I Couldn't sign in and in turn I couldn't listen to any of the 4 Gorillaz albums I'd
downloaded ( Demon days,Plastic beach,Humans and the now now ). When we were about
to go downstairs to get a takeaway from down the road we ended up talking to the people
downstairs including a woman called stevie who’d just moved in and was thin and tall about
how the new wi-fi didn’t work before we went outside to get it and when we got inside we
ended up watching diary of a wimpy kid: rodrick rules which also started Ocean’s phobia of
the part of the movie where greg and rowley watch some of a cheesy horror movie called the
foot.

FEBRUARY 14th 2021

Tess and her assistant shanae fixed the wi-fi but because Google is retarded I couldn't sign
into my old laptop and I threw the laptop down a few times out of frustration. We soon went to
the shops and I remained hopeful that I would be able to sign into my old account but when I
got home google was still taking the piss and out of sadness,disappointment and anger I
threw the laptop hard and started crying and then Mum said i couldn’t use it anymore. I fell
asleep after that and When I woke up I had dinner and later saw that the screen was 99%
black with your eyes having to enter the 5th dimension to see a semblance of an image.

FEBRUARY 15th 2021

I ended up using my old laptop which had to be charging at all times to work and be hooked
up to a tv to see anything. There are two tv’s so if someone is watching something in the front
room I can watch something in the bedroom.

FEBRUARY 16th 2021

I watched a video about albums to expand your musical taste despite not being a music
person.

FEBRUARY 17th 2021

I listened to some of Tricot's - the because I heard it was good from the musical taste video.

FEBRUARY 18th 2021

I watched a video about fake banned peppa pig episodes.It was pretty good. I also listened to
a violin cover of the gorillaz song empire ants and it was a masterpiece just like the original.
 ARC TWO: MOSTLY SUNNY

The first 48 days of the year were fine but nothing truly good happened and nothing
changed,The garbage replacement staff members for Ellie were still at the refuge,After
almost three years whatever shitheads were supposed to give me the school space still
weren’t doing anything,I had no friends since i left school in summer 2018,And i had no
reason to even be alive,My mum is fine but oblivious and occasionally insensitive and ocean
is kind sometimes but insufferable most of the time i had nothing accept two laptop’s,One
with a dim screen and one with dead pixels,I didn’t have anything and until a few days after i
didn’t know it would get better for a short time at least.

FEBRUARY 20th 2021

I found out that marylin manson abused his girlfriends and from what I know about him it
honestly didn’t surprise me in fact the strongest reaction I had was me wondering why at
least 20% of male celebrities and such have been cancelled for things sometimes true and
sometimes false and the response I have to the word “ cancelled “ is If it’s true please stop
and/or fuck you and if it’s false I start hating on twitter mobs and I start despising the toxicity
of modern day pc culture. I also caught up to some of Horimiya,An outstanding romance
anime that is airing this season, listened to some of the internet's album,hive mind since Mum
listened to one of the songs from it alot and said song ( hold on ) impressed me and is a huge
source of nostalgia for me,Watched a video by all things lost,A channel I started watching
around that week. Also I don't know if this happened on this day but you know how I
mentioned a woman called stevie,Well she knocked on our door and talked to Mum about
some stuff including Mum arranging to give her a massage when stevie mentioned she had a
son my age who had autism,He was called Harley and has curly hair,hazel eyes and is my
build except slightly smaller ( no homo ) and when Mum asked if I wanted to go downstairs to
meet him I agreed and when I did meet him we went into the refuge’s lounge and we
watched a couple youtube videos and I played a bit of rocket league on his xbox.

FEBRUARY 21st 2021

I watched episode 9 of rwby and I’d give it a 7.9 since it was epic but had some issues with
yang. Since I watch the judgemental critters reviews of the episodes straight after I watch
them and She didn’t like it but I respected her opinion and actually agreed with some of the
stuff she said. I also wrote about january 8th,Listened to some of the untitled.unmastered and
found a subtitle mistake in horimiya.

FEBRUARY 22nd 2021

I started looking for an obscure ova for reasons. But I never found it. Also just as i was
getting into them daft punk broke up,Great.

FEBRUARY 23rd 2021

I found out that sia never planned for the actress who played the autistic girl in the movie in
her movie to be played by an autistic person,She just lied because She's an ableist snake
who looks like an 80s crackhead even when she covers her face. We also went to Aunty
reecie's because Mum needed a break and when we got there I remember talking to jayreece
about stuff like the show I wanna make and anime.

FEBRUARY 24th 2021

So I could complete a gorillaz song tier list I listened to G-sides and it was okay,my favourite
tracks are the sounder,ghost train and left handed suzuki method and my least favourite
tracks are the 19-2000 remix and hip albatross,I HATE hip albatross it’s their worst
song,though I do like the guitar and bass. Overall 6.9. I also listened to d-sides and my
favourite tracks are the swagga,bill murray,hong kong,rockit and stop the dams and the rest
are either mediocre or awful,6.0. I also listened to some of the fall,dropped the anime
kemono jihen since it started of strong but after a while it went downhill since all the
characters aside from the detective, are overused,flanderized tropes such as the emotionless
main character, the rival who is a jerk to the main character for no reason until he slightly
opens up to the mc, the trap ( guy who looks and acts like a girl but identifies as a boy ),the
love interest,the otaku,etc. I also borrowed one of Jayreece's laptops so I could watch the
first episode of an anime called otherside Picnic since Ocean was watching peppa Pig or
talking to Tom on my laptop.

FEBRUARY 26th 2021

I watched a couple episodes of mushoku tensei,an anime I have a complicated relationship

with since it can be great and immersive at times but the fanservice really takes me out of the
experience and also there is nothing that differentiates it from any other isekai aside from
slightly more effort being put into the world,looked up a movie I heard Mum and Aunty reecie
were talking about,dropped otherside picnic because the characters suck and watched a
video about the rise and fall of giant robots.

FEBRUARY 27th 2021

I watched wonder egg priority on the same laptop I borrowed and I was absolutely hooked
from episode 1,It’s a show about 4 girls trying to save their friends that ended their lives and
the way the characters are introduced and set up is amazing 8.8 out of 10,the second best
anime of this season after horimiya, I vividly remember sitting in jayreece's room while he
was playing a basketball video game and talking to him about the episodes,In Fact I watched
6 episodes of it back to back and I would have caught up to the at the week latest episode if I
hadn’t been called to bed.

FEBRUARY 28th 2021

I watched a video by just stop about my hero academia that expressed 90% of my opinion on
the show aside from my opinion that deku is over and underpowered at the same time and is
as dry as my skin in 2019 and me actually liking quite a few of the characters,but he had my
opinion that it’s good but not as good as most people say aka 7.4. We also went back home
and every time I get back from Aunty reecie’s house I feel this existential feeling that
Jayreece is who I could have been if life had played out the way it should have,Me not
knowing my dad,staying in canterbury and never going to a refuge,and that made me hate
Jayreece until around 2017 when we started to get along though I still don't like seeing them
if something bad has happened.

MARCH 1st 2021

I woke up early and I watched a video about the garbage anime coming out this season,A
video about wonder egg priority and some other stuff. Later in the day I watched episode 7 of
so I’m a spider,so what, A pretty good anime with a fun,strangely pokemon like energy and
tried to see what the grammy nominations were for this year because everyone cusses them
and listened to wap because of everyone saying it’s the dirtiest song ever but really it’s not
that bad.

MARCH 2nd 2021

I watched a video about the godzilla nes creepypasta and that reminded me of the meme “
Ah ItS GoDzIlLa “ and when I searched it up and watched it I found it was from an austin
powers movie. I also watched a video about how weird isekai is,Found out that the gorillaz
song - ticker tape is amazing,Watched an evangelion iceberg that was interesting and
informitive,a youtube iceberg and a couple planet dolan videos.

MARCH 3rd 2021

I watched some dbz and some stuff about a group called clipping that tells stories in their
music,A video cussing illumination,a review of the Truman show and some of an original
internet animation.

MARCH 4th 2021

I watched a video that was about the best anime of the decade in that guy's ( the anime
man's ) opinion. I also watched an episode and a half of the anime jujutsu kaisen. But
because Mum found out I ate six packets of the 100 something belvita packets she ordered
for when ocean goes to nursery ( which isn’t anytime soon ) she took my laptop.

MARCH 6th 2021

Because I’m practically addicted to my laptop I found it and used it and Mum found it and
took it.

MARCH 7th 2021

Megan and harry had and

 MARCH 8th 2021

I don’t remember the beginning of the day but I do remember having an argument because
I’d ran out of clothes and had to wear a sheet and my laptop was not in sight. It also caused
me to suspect that my life follows a pattern in which valentines day and international women's
day suck ( Not because it celebrates women but because i get some kind of skin infection ),
spring is a mixed bag , Summer would be great if i could be truly happy and something
terrible happens after christmas

MARCH 9th 2021

I went downstairs to hang out with harley and even though Mum told me not to ( because the
adults all talk about shanae like she has an actual pole in her arse and she is a staff member
who has access to the camera’s and doesn’t like it when we go outside from the lounge door
because there's a steep part where someone supposedly tripped and broke their legs though
harley thinks it’s bs and for understandable reasons ) ,we went into the refuge garden anway
and we sprayed the garden with cleaning stuff for no reason until I said it could kill the bugs
and after that we went into the lounge until Mum and stevie showed up and it basically turned
into a picnic since stevie brought some food and it was sunny and warm,Mum and stevie
were talking about spirituality and other stuff and me and harley talked about random stuff
and at one point I had to go upstairs to rinse of the melted crisp seasoning of my hand but I
went back afterwards and harley told me to ride a toy car up from the very entrance of the
refuge onwards and when I did it was amazing,I remember harley opening the garden gate
when I was I otherwise would have crashed into it,I also remember talking to stevie about
how autism should be more respected and before that when I asked her what the necklace
she had on was and she said it had the angel metatron on it and she went on to explain that
metatron has a cube with the information of everything about the universe inside it.
All and all it was great
,until we went inside when Mum told me that my dad had went to the court to request to be
able to see us and in the papers for it he lied about numerous things such as Mum making
me afraid of pushchairs when I was little when in actuality that’s just because of my
autism,Me washing my hands because I wanted to have lighter skin just like ameena which is
bullshitt because ameena is two shades darker than me and I was washing my hands
because of ocd and he hit me for AND when I was only 8 he told me “ I always wanted a
darker child “ and that made me feel like shit but I never did anything to myself,He said I’m
deeply suicidal because mum moved us around but if he hadn’t been such an asshole mum
wouldn’t have but I was suicidal in tonbridge but that's not really anyone's fault,It’s the people
in the town,missing my friends and the ridiculously long time it took for anything to happen in
regards to the school situation,That I’m depressed because I can’t see him even though I
hate him and when he dies I’d only go to his funeral to piss on his grave. At first I blamed
Mum since she told dad if he wanted to see us then he could take it to court but when Mum
said she would tell my uncle Eframe who is a barrister and his wife who runs a family court,I
immediately became more confident in us winning the trial. I also got my laptop back but in
hindsight it didn’t really matter because ever since 2019 I just wanted something truly
good,truly positive to happen to me and for it to continue on the right path for a long time, if
said positive event doesn’t happen i,m not sure what i’d do,I might kill myself even though I
can’t bare the agonizing pain or much less likely go insane since that’s 3 years of my life
wasted and shitty and who’s to say that won’t happen for the rest of my life.That thought will
forever terrify me.

MARCH 10th 2021

I woke up and used my laptop at around 1am and I think I blocked the toilet but I don’t know.
And I found a laptop in the drawer and I signed into it and put it back and when Mum came in
to tell me to go back to my videos and told me that the one in the drawer is for educational
stuff. Later in the day I also watched episode 10 of rwby and it was good. I also downloaded
pokemon emulators. Eventually Mum found out I was using the laptop but she didn't do
anything.

MARCH 13th 2021

I watched quite a few videos about pokemon and I also levelled up a previously useless
pokemon.

MARCH 14th 2021/ Mothers day

The start of the day was boring but when we went downstairs it got way better. Since it was
mothers day there was a small party like thing downstairs because it was mother’s day and I
just hung out with harley for a while and then this kid called levi who he told me to avoid and
for good reason since he’s probably a psychopath, He was rude to basically everyone he
met,he had annoying tendencies and he even almost ran his little brother and harley over
with the toy car that we use. At one point Me,Harley and his sister charlie started doing
random stupid things like harley and charlie puting coke ( a cola ) in their noses while i put
some in my ears and on the ground,Later me and Harley pretended to be pregnant by puting
balloons in our shirts,It was stupid but great and so far has been the best day of the year,no
the best since my life went to shit,10/10.

MARCH 15th 2021

It was my birthday and I honestly wasn’t as excited as other years but there was some
excitement in me but By the middle of the day I felt stupid for being excited. When I woke up I
got ready for the day and used my laptop. The main thing I was excited for was getting the
switch controllers from the shops and when we went in the cab that was gonna take us to the
shops The first thing that I consider bad happened when the cab driver said “ No school eh “
but the way he said it sounded insulting but I still don’t know if he meant it but I still hid the
middle finger I flipped at him and when we got out I whispered “ arsehole “.and then we went
into the shops and at first I felt relatively fine until I went into the isle where controllers where
and I didn’t see them and There was instantly a sinking and empty feeling inside me,Like
someone stole my excitement,ripped it into thousands of pieces and pissed on it in front of
me,So much so that I ended up wandering through the shop and even yelled “ JUST GO “ At
some teenagers who unintentionally stopped me from walking however I regret it.
Another thing I regret is having a meltdown shortly after meeting Mum not out of being
spoiled but because I wanted one good thing to happen with no compromise. At one point I
tried to hit something with a pan and then Mum had to hold me and after a few minutes I
calmed down and even had a slightly more optimistic view of the world and the rest of the
day continued as normal,I got a malteser cake and some other snacks that I ate the hell out
of. After that I just used my laptop with the wireless headphones ( I found the charger ) and
later I hung out with Harley

. but aside from that it wasn’t really that great. Also Mum was stressed which isn’t good or
bad.

My laptop got taken again because I kept eating snacks which is something that keeps
happening.At some point after this day I took an online test that would allegedly say if I have
an eating disorder or not and it said it’s not likely,possibly because most of my answers were
I’m not sure since I really wasn’t but I digress. It really confuses me because “ It’s not likely “
Isn’t an absolute answer but it still means that it’s not likely which could mean that I’m just
pathetic and lack simple self control or I could have an eating disorder since I do eat as much
as I do to make myself feel happy and satisfied,Also the sight could be misleading and
fake,It’s anybody's guess and it feels like i’m being tugged in two different directions which is
frustrating and polarising to me.

MARCH 19th 2021

I used the laptop mainly to grind levels in pokemon,watch stuff about pokemon and look up
the meanings behind clipping lyrics . I also hung out with Harley and it was pretty nice.

MARCH 20th 2021

I showed Harley some ideas for the show I want to make such as it being set in a world
where every continent represents a different genre and there being different magic,and he
loved it.

MARCH 22nd 2021

Mum had to bring a sample of some kind to the Eastbourne osteoporosis centre again and
when I went downstairs he showed me a video of his brother where he edited it so that he
would say he s£@t his diaper. When we got back I went downstairs and me and Harley hung
out on the sideways chairs that were put next to each other and we did stuff like watch meme
remixes of songs ( U can't touch this ting,Biggie smalls feat Thomas the tank engine,etc. ) At
one point Theodora,One of the women in the refuge kept watching us and it creeped Harley
out where as I didn't really notice but soon after Harley said that she looked directly in his
eyes and muttered “ Down “ Under her breath,I came up with an idea for a great prank Where
Harley played A video he edited off me crashing into some stuff with the toy car and in the
part where I crashed into some stuff it was edited so that I said I shit myself While Theodora
was present , We ran out when we played it and she didn't see us because she was far
enough not to.

MARCH 23rd 2021

A fat arse ship called the evergreen blocked the suez canal,It was on the news for weeks.

MARCH 24th 2021

Me and Harley hung out and The first thing he said was that camila and hana started beef
with Harley and his family and that instantly raised a red flag for me because camila is friends
with my Mum and has her number thankfully they barely talk nowadays since my Mum
doesn't really go out and she likes to keep herself to herself but if camila invited Mum to her
flat she'd say yes. We also talked about our suicidal feelings and how the only reason I
haven't killed myself is because I hate the pain of a rope around my neck or a knife on my
skin. Harley said He tried to kill himself with a knife but couldn't bring himself to do it,he also
said it annoyed him when he tried to look up a way to kill himself and he'd end up seeing
something that told him not to and he said that the least painful way to commit Suicide is to
shoot yourself in the neck,Not as advice but as fact. He also talked about his experience in
his first refuge and he said he hated it at first but he warmed up to it and made some friends
including a girl who he taught to fight and calmed down when her arsehole aunt made her
have a panic attack which I still took with a grain of salt and even though it's probably out of
jealousy for not talking to a girl for 5 months. We also watched some of our old disgustingly
embarrassing youtube videos including the one where I sang an awful song I made up ( fame
more than my name ) And the one where Harley sang a bad song ( Alex Walsh walking to
school ). He also made a joke about having the lounge remote in his bum.

MARCH 25th 2021

I watched episode 11 of wonder egg priority which was an episode i loved at the time for it’s
suspenseful horror and intriguing plot,but I loathe now because said intriguing plot is about
how the reason suicide rates had gone up is because of a cyborg,demon,clone thing which
takes away from the relatability of a show that basically relies on it. This was also when i
really started to love JJK ( Jujutsu kaizen )

MARCH 26th 2021

I was excited when I knocked on Harley's door,Excited for us to go out and hang out like
normal but when He opened the door and told me he couldn't go out because they were
leaving the refuge,He said it was because of the drama involving camila and Hana and after
he said that I gave him a hug and left,Until I went back up to give Him the map of my shows
world and I later saw him when he was bringing some stuff downstairs and he told me to be
careful of camila,hana and theodora and I gave him my email address. Later Mum got
Stevie's phone number. It was a sad day with a small glimpse of hope that left the refuge
feeling empty.

MARCH 27th - 29th 2021

I just read the meanings of Nirvana lyrics and watched the absolute chad anime jujutsu
kaisen with me getting hooked a few weeks ago On episode 5 with the first 4 being decent
but generic,The characters are charming but a bit generic and the fights are
ABSOLUTELY,GODLY ,Jesus Christ if you just watch random fights out of context you'll be in
awe. But again with Harley gone the refuge was basically empty

MARCH 30th 2021

The beginning of the day was boring and there was no difference from the previous three
days,Ocean troubling and physically assaulting me,Using my laptop and feeling like every
day is monotonous,grey and meaningless But then Harley suddenly rang our doorbell and
when Mum told me he was there I ran to greet him and I almost forgot to put my shoes on.
When I went Out of our doorway I asked him something along the lines of “ why'd you come
back “ And he said “we had to “ but I don't remember why,Afterwards he asked me did you
miss me and I said yeah and made a joke about it sounding gay but then he said that saying
you miss someone isn't gay and then we talked about how I should avoid Camilla and hana
because of the problems they caused for His family and then we did our usual bs,Talking
about a wide range of things such as how Harley met a guy who could rap extremely fast to
how camila and theodora are trying to butter Mum up by being overly nice and giving her shit
. Also I told Harley about my old YouTube channel,Y Tv pokevoids. Harley went upstairs to
tell his mum that Camila,Hana and Theodora told us not to use a small wooden bike that was
for younger children But we still could've been fine using it.

MARCH 31st - APRIL 2nd 2021

All I remember that isn't a blur is that when I checked Mal to see the spring 2021 anime and I
thought it wasn't terrible but it dipped in quality with winter having amazing shows like the
colourful yet traumatising wonder egg priority,The Wholesome Horimiya that is also the only
romance anime I like,The oddly wholesome and satisfying So I'm a spider,So what and The
Chad and just generally epic Jujutsu kaisen but this season has some sequels,Some generic
ecchi and isekai shows and there are only 3 shows that I'm genuinely interested in,
Fumetsu no Anata e,Shadows house, and Blue reflection Ray ( because I loved Wonder egg
priority and both are magical girl shows. ).

APRIL 3rd 2021

Even though this was yesterday I still don't remember most of what happened,I just used my
laptop most of the day,Watched some of the geek critiques Sonic videos and I stayed up till
2am using my laptop. Oh yeah and RWBY volume 8 finished and it was way better than the
insufferable bullshit that was the past 4 episodes,it still left a disgusting taste in my mouth
and made this my second least favourite volume because of how much they dropped the ball
after they blew up the whale,Despite everything before then being the absolutely incredible
and because of that i lost interest in the show since i was extremely disappointed by the
second half.

APRIL 4th 2021/Easter

I also found out that 2/3rds of the anime I've completed are Pokemon movies which I quickly
removed from my MAL because I genuinely don’t consider Pokemon an anime because it
was americanised to hell and back. Also Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Came on
and I thought it would be rubbish since I didn't like it when I first watched it but I was
pleasantly surprised that it was amazing,9.4 out of 10.

APRIL 5th 2021

I woke up when Mum went to pick Ocean up from nursery since she started going the day
before and while Mum went to pick her up,I got washed,Dressed and brushed my teeth then
went downstairs to greet Harley and tell him to knock in 10 minutes because I have an
irrational fear of knocking on their door even though they're nice people and the worst that
will happen is them saying he's not available.
When I went down he agreed but he did say that I should see what the new bikes that the
staff got and I quickly tried them out before running upstairs since I'm not allowed to go
downstairs when Mums out. When Mum came back I said I was fasting,Which is what I was
doing,and that I felt burnt out on using the internet which I 80% was and 20% wasn't and then
Mum said I should drink a lot of water and go outside which was the opportunity for me to say
that I wanted to go outside and she said I could go.

When I went downstairs Harley said he forgot to knock on my door and then we started
screwing around in the garden but soon afterwards Stevie came down to talk about how
Camila and Hana we're messing with them by saying they stole some stuff and that was
proven by me and Harley went to use the toy car when Hana who was near us said “= I know
you took my fockin router. “ and when Harley closed the garden gate I muttered “ bitch “
under my breath and I got involved in the conversation in the lounge by telling them what
Hana said and then I started to get more information on the situation like how out of the blue
Hana told Stevie that she stole some stuff,That camila beat herself up so that it would look
like Hana did it even though they seem like friends and That Hana actually grew up in a cult.
Finding out all That information made me lose it and laugh my arse off and because it made
life seem like some kind of sick tv show and soon after I mentioned that stuff like that is why
I'm an atheist because if god was real then this kind of shit wouldn't happen to anyone and
I'm not talking about meaningless stuff like losing something or falling over but stuff like
Torture,Murder,Prejudice,rape etc ( not that Harley or his family have ever brought up
religion. )

Harley then said that he actually felt the same way even though he's spiritual,I also said if I
found out that an asteroid would strike the earth I would be happy since there would probably
be a huge party,superficial things won't matter,The civilization would collapse in a way that
benefits humans and if I somehow feel depressed at least the asteroid would end it for me.
Afterwards me and Harley goofed off,Watched some funny YouTube videos and played
outside.
While we were about to ride down the pavement and into the refuge I found out that they
were recording camila and hana talking so that they would catch them cussing them and then
show it to the staff. After that me and Harley continued to mess around.

APRIL 7th 2021

Me and Harley hung out and it went well and we even found the pink scooter behind the shed
,But when I was about to ride down the entrance of the refuge and down from there I saw
Harley's baby brother following me so in the hopes that he would stop following me I rode the
scooter away from the open gate and when I was about to skate from the entrance of the
refuge and downwards from there Stevie came out and asked me where elias was and when
I said something along the lines of I don’t know she ran past the gate to find him and that’s
when Harley and Clare ( Levi’s Mum ) ran to look for him as well and after that I started to
panic with thoughts like what will happen to Elias?Will they be mad?Will me and Harley
still be friends when everyone comes back?.
I was so worried that I ran inside and hid in the playroom,Scared and Anxious,Not being able
to think. When they came back I assumed that Elias was okay because everyone sounded
calm and maybe even relieved,But Harley said something that made me feel worse. He said “
I’m never fucking hanging out with yash again. “ and that made me run upstairs into our flat
and into the bedroom where I shut the door and threw my laptop at the wall near the
wardrobe,creating a small dent that exposed some of the wall's interior. Then I cried on
Mum’s Bed and kept saying it’s not my fault. I had that breakdown because Harley is the first
friend i’ve had since mid 2018 and I feared i would lose that so soon and for god now’s how
long and as I said The thought of my life being extremely shitty until I either break under
many years of mental torture and pressure and have a meltdown that could ruin my life since
it could alienate everyone from me. When Mum came in I told her what happened and she
said that kid's say mean things and it usually doesn't matter. She also didn't like that I threw
the laptop at the wall. After I told mum about what Happened Harley rang the doorbell and I
told her not to open the door but she still did,Thankfully He came to apologise for what he
said and I apologised for leaving the gate open. After that we hugged and made up,Then
went downstairs to watch YouTube since we obviously didn't feel like going outside after that
shit. Also While we were trying to find stuff to watch,I found out that Harley is a can of
swoozies older videos. This was one of the last times i saw harley

APRIL 8th 2021

I woke up at 4 am and watched parts 2 and 3 of Nick Crowley's Darkest channels series
because of my morbid curiosity and they were great but disturbing. The rest of the day was
the usual,Me using the laptop in the bedroom while Mum and Ocean were in the front room.

APRIL 10th 2021

I started watching Re;zero and I thought the first episode was fine but average. Me and
harley also met up and made fun of how the media where treating prince philip’s death as if
the entirety of london was blown up and how at the end of the day he’s just a random guy

APRIL 12th 2021

Since Harley was a fan of xxxtenacion and I wanted to see why,I listened to some of his first
proper album 17 and I was expecting rap but it was more slow and guitar driven than I
expected and when I eventually completed it I wouldn’t have called it a rap album but i
actually quite enjoyed it,7/10
 APRIL 13th 2021

I watched the first episode of an anime called vivy: flourite eyes song that aired in spring
2021 and is about an android called vivy who’s job is to sing to bring joy to people but a time
traveling robot teddy bear tells her that she needs to help him change parts of history called
singularities to stoping Androids commiting mass genocide on humanity during a
revolution,Sounds crazy but since the pacing was good all of these insane idea’s where
introduced naturally and the animation was absolutely beautiful with the only two anime of
this year ( so far ) I think can compete against it in regards to the art style and animation are
mushoku tensei and Especially wonder egg priority. The characters are well established but
since it was episode 1 They are still a bit 2 dimensional but it was still very good,8.3 out of
10.

APRIL 14th 2021

I watched some of the anime jujutsu kaisen and i thought it was subpar but watchable,The
first five episodes were really generic and has all of the tropes you’d expect from a shonen
anime such as The mc being overly kind for no reason and being given an op ability by an
even more overpowered character And that’s all i can really say about the first five episodes
with the only great parts being the sick fights especially the ones in episodes one & five in
which every movement of every muscle feels more fluid than a wave,like real martial artists
were transported into each frame,So despite the lazy character work and tropes i’ll give those
episodes a 6.5,out of 10.
I also watched a video by fredrik knudson/Down the rabbit hole that was about chris chan
since I’d heard about him from people memeing him and i could see why since he’s a
racist,homophobic incel who lives with his 80 year old mother inside of a house that is
absolutely
,stuffed to its limit with useless trash,post’s comics that looked like he ran out of pencils and
vigorously spread his blood and piss on the paper online as an obvious coping mechanism
for the most minor things in life instead of solving his problems in a healthy way and acts like
a spoiled child by having large tantrums in public whenever he doesn’t get his way.
But it’s important to mention he has severe autism and useless parents who didn’t even
teach him how to be a nice and useful person and was bullied and manipulated by ableist
bastards on the internet but that still doesn’t excuse his disgusting behaviour.

APRIL 15th 2021

I watched more of fredrik knudson’s videos such as his video on henry darger,a truly
compelling and fascinating man who you should totally research,though some things about
him like his past,and some absolutely brutal gore in the book he wrote where the main
characters are literal children are quite messed up. Aside from that I listened to some music
and watched some videos about gorillaz and anime. There was also a massive argument
between me and my mum. I don't remember why it happened but I remember her almost
calling grandma to come and pick me up so I could stay at her house but that never ended up
happening. She also nearly pushed me off of the chair by trying to take me off that i used to
get to the top bunk,which she later apologised for,It just felt so tiring and made me hate my
life while i t was happening,it’s like if everyday is either going to be bland or shit,than why
should i even still be alive.

APRIL 16th 2021

This was when I first found out about the controversy surrounding gorillaz making figures of
the band through an NFT which produces a lot of Co2 which in turn is antithetical to the
messages in their music especially since plastic beach is literally about the dark path climate
change and consumerism will lead us down if things don’t change for the better,Which i
understand but at that point in time and even now,I don’t care about it mainly because i could
tell that it would be one of those controversies that is absolutely gargantuan,for a week at the
absolute longest and even if it wasn’t i’m completely numb to cancel culture unless the
person they’re cancelling has done something unspeakably obscene i just don’t give a damn
because every day there’s a story of some random celebrity being guilty of sexual
misconduct or bigotry and after a while it just loses impact and with this controversy it doesn’t
hold any weight at all because while they shouldn’t have done that it’s not so bad that they
needed to be cancelled immediately and writing this months later nobody remembers it.

I also tried coming up with some ideas for a fantasy book series which I called the crystal
series which would’ve involved a boy in a mystical world finding a powerful stone and the
adventures that would ensue afterwards,but I didn't have a solid foundation to base the story
upon.

APRIL 17th 2021

This was when i really started to lose my patience with young don the sauce god’s videos as
I was a big fan of his Sharp comedy and amazing animation,with his peak being 2018-2020
but in early 2021 his videos looked studio quality but the actual content was starting to
become bland and so i just stuck to his older videos.I
I also watched elvis the alien’s review of the god awful remake of the witches watched last
halloween.

APRIL 18th 2021

I tried catching up with some of the spring 2021 anime but I only watched the first episode of
odd taxi and some of mars red,which were both pretty good and both had similar noir style
vibes and were more dialogue and character driven then your average story. I also watched
mother’s basement’s mushoku tensei video which came out when i thought the show was
shitty otaku bait with a disgusting main character and i understood where he was coming
from but i still disagreed,And later I went outside with harley but we didn’t really do much
since camilla and levi’s mum were there and harley and his mom ended up talking to them
most of the time which is of course fine it just left me with nothing to do so i tried to come up
with some ideas but the only one i could come up with was the protagonist fleeing his home
in a carriage during a battle which had a wizard who would end up teaching him magic,Which
was a good idea but i ended up scraping it because it was too fast paced and i watched
some of hello future me’s worldbuilding videos by hooking up my shitty broken chromebook
which needed the charger in to work and hooked up to a tv for me to see what i’m doing.
They eventually left and i stayed down until 7:00 when it started to get dark the i went
upstairs

APRIL 19th 2021

I made a letterboxd account and filled it with movies I'd seen such as the Harry Potter and toy
story series. I also researched creatures in african mythology which are probably the most
unique and unorthodox on earth such as the kishi which is a man who with the front of his
head being a human male and the back being a hyena and it uses its human face to seduce
women in order to eat then with it’s second head,Or a witch that has light beaming out of it’s
arsehole. I also got heavily into Terrible writing advice which is hilarious if a bit too blunt
sometimes and I showed mum the video he made about writer’s block as well as talked to
her about how good the gorillaz album demon days is.

APRIL 20th 2021

This was around the time i started watching a youtuber called FoxAkimbo I started with his
worst animated films and shows iceberg which was very entertaining and I subscribed after
watching part 2 of his unsolved mysteries iceberg because that video was even more
interesting and entertaining and because the way he asked his audience was very clever
since the last entry was about life choices and how the universe could repeat when it dies
and everyone would have to relive their lives. Also derek chauvin,The guy who kneeled on
george floyd’s throat was convicted guilty

APRIL 21st 2021

I watched some anime and made a tier list of every single gorillaz song,then i found an
audiobook of mushoku tensei volume 4 because i wanted to listen to the upcoming story arcs
that would be in the second part of the first season that came out on the 3rd of october,this
year since i’d give the first arc ( episodes 1-4 ) a 6.0,the second arc ( episodes 5-8 ) a 7.0
and the third arc ( episodes 9-11 ) a 9.7.
and because i loved the final three episodes so much that i wanted to see what would
happen next since the first 7 episodes were okay but rudeus’s perverse tendencies were
Shrugged off and the jokes surrounding them were really cringe at best and gross and
uncomfortable at worst but in episode 8 it explored those traits and how it affects the people
around him and he became more likeable while still maintaining those traits which made
actually make his character more interesting and handling them more respectfully,also the
first 7 episodes were very generic but had quite a few brilliant characters and the
worldbuilding was incredible and they took the great things from the first 2 arcs and cut out
the shit to make the final third so amazing. I also went out to a shop near enough to the
beach to smell the refreshing air but far enough not to see the beach and we got some food it
was nice and we got pie and chips which i ate at home while watching episode one of to your
eternity and i really enjoyed the first 15 or so minutes despite me finding the main character a
bit naive and annoying but the enduring and intriguing plot and characters but the ending was
admittedly predictable but soul-crushing,raw and it will stick with you,i won’t spoil it here but
please just watch it now.

APRIL 22nd 2021

I watched some of mic the snare’s deep discog dive series where he looked at the
discographies of different artists that his audience votes for him to cover ( most of the time at
least ) . I first watched his gorillaz video and then watched his over stuff and it was pretty
good. I also watched scamboli reviews fantastic “ The insane rise of vtubers and why i hate
them “ video which perfectly captured my thoughts on vtubers and i also watched the first
episode of mars red which i thought was okay but nothing to ride home about.

APRIL 23rd 2021

I tried to find the b-sides of the gorillaz album humanz since their first 2 had b-sides released
but they stopped after demon days and i’d already found an unofficial fan album for plastic
beach on youtube,After a while i found a fan album called h-sidez and it was really good. I
also ranked all the years I've been alive and remembered and from worst to best that list
goes.

9. 2018: 2.9
8. 2020: 3.9
7. 2019: 4.4
6. 2021: 6.3
5. 2013: 6.7
4 .2014: 7.3
3. 2015: 7.8
2. 2016: 9.0
1. 2017: 10

APRIL 24th 2021

I had briefly heard about a website where you type in facts about yourself and it predicts
when you’ll die,I thought it was a bit shifty that i had to type in facts about myself but i figured
that the information it was asking for was nothing to revealing,and it said i’d die on the 3rd of
july 2070,which means i’d be 61 years old when i die and that i’d die of either heat,a fall or
electricity it also calculates your death in three ways,Optimistic,Pessimistic and neutral and
the calculation that said i just told you was neutral and so i looked at the others and if i chose
pessimistic it said i’d die on the 12th of may 2059,which means i’d be 50 when i die and if i
chose optimistic it said i’d die on the 24th of march 2077 which would mean i’d be 68 years
old when i die,The ones i think are most likely are the neutral and optimistic calculations but i
don’t think these are true for a second. I also found out about the controversy surrounding the
netflix movie cuties which if you don’t know was a movie about a girl who joins a group called
the cuties who are dancers who dance in incredibly sexual ways which would be fine if they
weren’t all 11 years old and netflix actually allowed this which is obviously disgusting and i
don’t blame you if you don’t want to support netflix anymore.

APRIL 25th 2021

I started watching re;zero and i thought the first episode and thought it was alright but the
second episode was WAY better. Also this might have been the day i told harley one of my
earlier ideas for Spectral,such as it taking place in world where each of the main 3 continents
is inspired by a different genre of fiction such as Antecor being inspired off of sci-fi,Fantasia
being inspired off of fantasy,Obviously,And Velfenyorden being inspired off of horror and the
other 3 being continents they expanded over to such as Antecor expanding Ionwealth,A vast
desert,Fantasia expanding to Zera,A tropical archipelago and Velfenyorden expanding to
Southerlands having a harsh storm surrounding it which block’s anyone from entering,I also
came up with Each of the 3 continents having a different power system such as Antecor
having Prints,Superhuman abilities based off of the person’s personalities,Magic,Goes
without explanation and shadowflame being a branch off from magic that’s more dark and
occult and there would be 6 character’s Xander,Nate,Maron,Ariel,Vara and Norgen,And while
over time i’ve changed my ideas since,I still recommend reading my older concept’s so i’ve
linked the document here OTHER SIDE OF A MIRROR IDEAS

APRIL 26th 2021

I uploaded a song on my youtube channel called morning m0notony and it was okay but went
on for too long.

APRIL 27th 2021

I watched a video called “ Disturbing internet content iceberg “ which is self explanatory and
had some pretty messed up stuff,obviously.

APRIL 28th 2021

One of the entries on the iceberg video i watched the day before was about a youtube
channel called cartoon incorporated which uploaded videos with titles like “ frozen 3 “ and
long story short the videos had subliminal messages to groom children watching and the goal
of the channel was to lure children to the person running the channel to do things that should
be obvious. I also watched some cosmonaut variety hour videos before the best thing of that
day happened which was me getting my new laptop and new switch controllers,It was blue
and easily best laptop i’ve ever had,That just brightened my day because i was so sick off
having to use the hdmi port and it always having to have it’s charger plugged in to work,And i
was happy to get the controllers because my switch still worked but it didn’t have have the
left joy con and the right one was unreliable but since i had both i could finally use it,It was
one of the best day’s of this year because despite my mum working on my dad’s court
bullshit,despite me still being in the refuge and the woman who worked there,who was one of
the kindest people i ever met being replaced with old prick’s who don’t know what they’re
doing,Despite ALL of this i was happy. The last thing that happened was that we had to take
a cab to a house in canterbury that mum was interested in and the car ride was god-awful,It
was simultaneously agonisingly long yet nauseatingly fast and i’m convinced that the driver
who was about 70 and was trying to hit every single bump on that side of the road,The car
felt like a snail moving at the speed of sound while on weed,bath salts and cocaine,But the
worst part was that mum only needed to see the house for 2 minutes and then we had to
drive back to the refuge for another 2 and a half hours. Aside from that it was great.

MAY 5th 2021

I discovered Jay exci’s channel and had a nap listening to them,and when i woke up Harley
knocked and asked me

MAY 9th 2021

My mum called nintendo to give me a new switch account since my dad created my switch
account and had the nintendo eshop password which he never told me or mum for no reason
other than the potential of using it as a gross bargaining tool and When mum unfortunately
found out the switch had parental controls she put in a password which among other things
blocked my ability to even browse info on games aged 16 and above and since a ton of gams
have a high age rating when they don’t remotely deserve it and i’ve already been exposed to
everything.
it also stopped me from manually resetting my switch which would make sure i could access
the nintendo eshop since the password my dad used would be erased as well as removing
the parental controls which restricted me from doing basic things which mum herself
disagreed with. The people on the phone ended up giving me a code thing that would allow
me to remove the parental controls and therefore factory reset my switch so I could access
the eshop and access games above the 12 rating. Also two completely separate things
happened around this time which was mum having to borrow my laptop to do the retarded
court thing and i got into a youtuber called album reviews and such.

MAY 11th 2021

Over the course of the year i watched a youtuber called onlysmallbites who mainly made
content about music in a small but wholesome style and i consistently watched his videos but
for whatever reason i didn’t feel like subscribing but then i came across a video called “
basically kendrick lamar’s damn in 30 seconds “ since it kept appearing in my recommended
tab and it was hilarious,I won’t tell you what the video contains so you’ll have to watch it for
yourself,And after watching it i looked at the description to see who made it and i saw the
name “ onlysmallbites “ Then i instantly subscribed.

MAY 12th 2021

Sometime in may i found a youtube channel that talked about scp’s in an infographics style
and their videos were interesting and well made,using a generic and usually
cynical,corporate and shit as hell art style to its advantage to make interesting videos about
scp’s and i ended up watching it through the night and their scp-5000 why? Is stellar.
I also watched a video by
cynical reviews called “ Melissa mccarthy needs to stop “
which i completely agreed with since she is probably the worst comedian of all time and
seems to have a fetish for disgustingly humiliating herself for “ comedy “ and i’d rather
castrate myself on live tv than suffer through a line of her shitty jokes,Not even james
corden,kevin hart or post 2000s eddie murphy are as garbage as her. Also i got into
pyrocynical through his fat cry 3 video which was absolutely incredible despite me having no
interest in far cry 3 and i looked up horror films coming out in 2021 and the only one i find that
sounded good was a reimagining of pinocchio by guillermo del toro and everything i’ve seen
aside from the shape of water was incredible.
 MAY 13th 2021

I watched a youtuber called pipenfts who is building the ENTIRETY of the world in a
minecraft server. I also finished watching madoka magica and i thought the first 3 episodes
where fine but a bit bland but it got better and better as it went along,All the characters were
great,All the plot threads where interesting and it was bleak without being excessive,I almost
binged the whole show to see if a character i grew to love would die,What plot twist would
happen next and just how would it end,But mum telling me to go to bed made me have to
wait. I also had to take a short walk since mum had to go to a pharmacy and it was fine
enough. I also rewatched shaun of the dead and memed shed of the dead,A rip-off of the film
that claimed to be a sequel to shaun of the dead.
I also-also finished dylan the knight owl’s
youtube iceberg which was amazing but for lack of a better term fucked me up for like 2 days
because of just how awful the dark side of youtube is with abuse of all kinds happening and
very much illegal content such as abuse,snuff and cp being very much common in more
obscure parts of the site and it made me more aware of the hidden but large dark side of
youtube.

MAY 14th 2021

When i went downstairs for a lesson with my tutor she mentioned a town in wales with a very
long,strange and overcomplicated name ( Like basically all welsh words ) called
llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrngogogoch as well as a story about how in the village she
used to live in she watched the ending of jaws and couldn’t see the blood in the water since
her house was the last in the village that was in black and white and how she felt bad hearing
her friends talk about the ending.
I also discovered an entire wiki about an entire cinematic universe of peppa pig meme
fanfiction called the peppa pig fanon wiki,And also while watching pyrocynical’s “ the best
netflix show you’ve never seen. “ video i heard his outro and wanted to find it since i thought
it sounded great and i found a song called beachwalk by whitewoods and it wasn’t the same
song but it was still brilliant,I later found out that he used to use that song in his older videos
before in around 2019 youtube demonetized all of his videos since the song had a sample in
it and they’re copyright system is more broken then my old chromebook and so he had to
replace with a new song that’s still good but not as good as beach walk.
The last thing
I did was watch a review of shadow and bone by friendly space ninja (a youtuber i’d gotten
into this year and his style of video essay’s is right up my alley ) since i tried watching it but it
simultaneously over explained useless things about the show’s universe and explained
absolutely nothing about instrumental things about the show.

MAY 15th 2021

I re-listened to discovery by daft punk which i thought started of well but after
Harder,Better,Faster,Stronger got quite boring,However when i re-listened to it i came to the
realisation that it’s one of my favourite albums of all time with so many great tracks like the
back-to-back brilliance of the first few tracks,High life,Something about
us,superheroes,Veridis quo and face to face which is in my top 5 favourite songs of all time,It
was truly amazing and i recommend you check it out as well. I also watched more of
onlysmallbites’ fantastic basically in 30 seconds videos.

MAY 16th 2021

I watched an amazing video about the death of angry birds and how rovio,stupidly deleted all
of the good angry birds games. I also watched some of a youtuber called movies with mikey
who i later dropped because he was too pretentious,for my taste anyway.

MAY 17th 2021

I watched nick crowley's darkest youtube channel’s 4 and it was pretty underwhelming since
all he talked about was a guy who’s channel catered to people who thought that severe chain
smoking is sexy,after that i watched that clip from chucky where he start’s smacking some
woman while saying and i quote “ YoU StUpId BiTcH,YoU FiLtHy SlUt,I’lL TeAcH yOu HoW
tO fUcK wItH mE. “ and it was of course hysterical seeing a 2 foot doll start mildly smacking a
woman while swearing every 2 seconds and her still being scared out of her mind.
I also binged
More FoxAkimbo videos and they were of course all great
Mum also ordered a burger,chicken and chips from a restaurant called vinnie’s and at first it
tasted fine but it had an aftertaste like decade’s old garbage and it felt wrong eating it like my
body knew that i shouldn’t be eating that trash,like your soul was being poisoned and slowly
drenched out,and it felt disgustingly artificial and processed,even more than 95% of vegan
food i’ve eaten and me and mum also felt sick so and mum even had to spit when we all went
to sleep me and her said it felt like we were experiencing the animals suffering and that
almost made me vegan,but we also took the piss out of how disgusting the food was and how
thicc the chicken they gave us was and how vile the aftertaste was and to this day i say
something along the lines of “ Vinnies was amazing “ or “ You should get vinnies it’s amazing
whenever she wants to get takeaway.

MAY 18th 2021

In Pyrocynical’s “ Shrek: The best movie ever made “ Video he played the audio of some
northern guy raging through an awful mic where it sounded like a man drunk out of his mind
but sounded pissed beyond belief over the scene where shrek forcefully takes fiona to lord
farquad's castle,And it was so hilarious that i had to track it down and it was called “
Pyrocynical rage sound effect. “ And it was just as if not more hysterical.
I also watched
Hot Fuzz for the first time since i loved Shaun of the dead and i thought that the first half
wasn’t too funny but was still really solid and the second half was absolute perfection and the
film perfectly blended Drama,Comedy,Action and even Horror and the plot was surprisingly
great for a comedy,since most comedies put more emphasis on the humour than the plot
which is a double edged sword. The characters were also amazing and helped the film be as
great as it is.
I also tried to find negative reviews of mushoku tensei because despite me generally liking
it,it still had glaring flaws that stopped me from fully enjoying such as it playing into the power
Fantasy tropes that drag down so many fantasy and isekai anime.
 MAY 19th 2021

My interest in doctor who rose when i decided to watch the Mr.tardis video where he ranked
series 1-12 of doctor who and it went like this

12. Series 8
11. Series 7
10. Series 9
9. Series 12
8. Series 10
7. Series 2
6. Series 11
5. Series 6
4. Series 5
3. Series 1
2. Series 3
1. Series 4

At that point in time i’d watched Series 1-4 and if you’d ask me then my ranking would have
been
4. Series 2: 7.7
3. Series 3: 8.4
2. Series 4: 9.3
1. Series 1: 9.8

And i could understand him puting Series 4 at the top but at said time my only problem was
how convoluted the finale was and since the finales felt like they were getting more
convoluted as they were going along so i stopped watching,but my thoughts on the other
series before i rewatched them was that Series 1 was perfect,Series 2 was solid but
inconsistent,Series 3 was really good but had a weird ending and Series 4 was almost
perfect. But him talking about the other 8 series made me curious about them.

MAY 20th 2021

I watched the FoxAkimbo video “ The fears and phobias's iceberg explained. “ As well as
another iceberg video from a different youtuber called “ The sonic movie iceberg
explained-Production history and other odd things. “ which was also great.
I also watched
Scott Pilgrim vs the World since it was directed by Edgar Wright and of course it was
amazing but I had to stop watching since Mum took my laptop to stay up late,but I managed
to get it back.

MAY 21st 2021

I had an online lesson with my tutor where we had to read a book called Skellig and it was
pretty good.The reason we had the lesson online was because of covid stuff. Later on
watched videos revolving around theories the dragon prince season,A show i watched in
2019 and is about two princes and an elf trying to find a dragon eggs mother while their world
is on the brink of war between humans and elves and while the first season was good but
shaky in quality,The second season was incredible and the third was literal perfection and i
NEED that 4th season. I also watched some videos by ibxtoycat who creates strange
minecraft servers to explore what certain hypothetical societies would look like,It’s really
interesting

MAY 22nd 2021

I tried watching jupiter’s legacy which is a netflix show about a family of superheroes and it
was pretty mediocre and honestly a bit cringe worthy at times so I didn't bother watching past
the first episode. Later on i also watched a youtuber called blizzic’s video on why volume 5 of
rwby was bad and overall very disappointing. I also,also watched FoxAkimbo’s “Cursed
iceberg “ Which Perfectly used the iceberg format to make a very experimental short horror
film.

MAY 23rd 2021

I rewatched some of messyourself’s detroit become human playthrough since I have

nostalgia for that series and his channel in general but it wasn’t as good as I remembered. I
watched episode 2 of to your eternity and while it wasn’t as good as the first it was still really
solid.
MAY 24th 2021

I looked up the 2019-2020 uk flash floods since i remember them happening all over the
country even tonbridge. I also had a lesson with my tutor and when a certain character in the
book was bird watching and saw a tit I couldn't help but make a few jokes which we both
laughed at.
Later on I woke up in the of the night because my headphones died and it played the video i
was listening to out loud and i stepped on the laptop to close it,Little did i know this was the
turning point of the year since it was actually pretty okay sure those retards who ran the
refuge weren’t doinf their jobs at all so Mum had to try and find a house and i was waiting
until we moved to find a school space since it made no sense getting one in eastbourne and
then having to move on from that school to get one in a new area,but aside from that it was
good
I’d made a new friend got a new laptop and controllers and any year that it wasn’t
2020,Which is of course great but every year since 2018 around may-august the shit always
hit the fan and the next day was said day

ARC THREE: LIMBO

MAY 25th 2021

When i woke up i went to use my laptop like i always do but i noticed it had dead pixels on
the side of the screen and while not severe i still didn’t believe it was really happening. I used
it and decided to start rewatching Doctor who and if it wasn’t on fullscreen it was watchable.
Later on we went downstairs and i heard camilla talking about how she knew someone who
stayed in the refuge for years and one thought came to my mind “ I cannot spend god knows
how long in a shithole like this,with a laptop that i have to connect to a tv to use and no
friends aside from one who might as well be dead. “
So i took it out on the laptop and started throwing it and bashing it around and Mum
eventually tried to stop the meltdown and When i explained my thought process it was like
she was dismissing it which made it worse since i have nobody else to say this to so i have to
hold it in until something like this happens every single day like poison and that’s why
whenever someone says something along the lines of “ Don’t try and kill yourself it’ll get
better. “ I instantly think that person is up there own arse because when i die i don’t have to
worry about the school space or the trial or the laptop,I find the idea of death calming
because then i won’t have to deal with any of this garbage anymore and i can finally just rest.
When we went back upstairs they Camilia found my switch and despite me throwing it,it was
still in exactly the same condition. This was the worst day of the year and proved to me
definitively that unless something major changes my life will stay like this forever.

MAY 26th 2021

I used the tv in our bedroom to use my laptop and it wasn’t as bad as i thought it would be
but it was still bad.
MAY 27th 2021

I watched a video by blizzic about why he thinks volume 7 is rwby at it’s best which i totally
agree with since it’s my second favourite volume after volume 3,Also here’s my ranking
1. Volume 3: 10
2. Volume 7: 10
3. Volume 6: 8.5
4. Volume 2: 7.7
5. Volume 4: 7.7
6. Volume 8: 6.0
7. Volume 1: 5.9
8. Volume 5: 2.0
My only problem is that he implied that people who dislike bumblebee are
homophobic,despite me hating it because it’s poorly written queerbait and because they don’t
have good chemistry,That’s just my opinion though your free to think what you
want,Thankfully he clarified that he misworded it.

MAY 28th 2021

I stepped on something dirty in the bathroom a while back and walked all over the place while
i was trying to clean it and i ended up scrubbing the carpet since i’d just remembered while
listening to unicorn of war who is a rwby youtuber and while he can be really annoying and
cringe worthy with their humour,they’re overall pretty good and i watched his winx club
remake video despite me not caring at all about the original or the remake,it was a good
video,I also watched his fantastic “ The white fang problem “ video which perfectly brought up
how the show terribly brung up how the show handled it’s racism allegory awfully and
touched on things that irritated me and things i didn’t even notice and this single video did
more against racism then those Idiot’s who turned blm into a vapid trend with him even
donating to blm.
Also diamondbolt uploaded a video about batman and robin,and it was a pretty solid
video,Watched a video called “ why red dwarf is awesome “ Which got me into
Rowan.j.coleman’s channel,watched council of geeks video on bad fandoms,and did a lesson
with my laptop hooked up to the bedroom tv which made it a bit more difficult trying to align
the webcam to my face while having to use the tv to know what was going on,but it was
manageable.

MAY 30th 2021

I also finally took the plunge

and decided to fully watch all of
evangelion and started with the tv series and i watched it on netflix because it’s the most
convenient way to watch it despite the average but bearable re-dub and i watched the first 2
episodes and they were both really good,I liked all of the characters because they were all
realistic and interesting and the mecha elements were incredible and terrifying to watch and
the plot while simple it was really just about a guy having to force himself to fight a eldritch
demon with a giant death machine and the effects of it,it allowed the characters to drive the
story and my only problem is that it felt like it was setting future events up,8.5/10. Later on i
also watched
FoxAkimbo's existential crisis iceberg video which he warned it would make you think about
the world in a darker light and might be deeply affecting but when i watched it,it didn’t do
anything of the sort and compared to a few other icebergs he’s made is actually pretty tame
and i don’t know if it was the video or me already thinking like that.

MAY 31st 2021

I watched a few of phantomstrider’s videos since i’ve been watching him since i was 8 and he
still holds up even though he’s been on youtube since 2014. I also
watched episodes 3,4 and 5 of evangelion and episode 3 was ok it just felt like a less good
version of the first two,7/0 but
Episode 4 was amazing and put you directly in shinji’s head and made me understand his
character a lot more even though it’s mostly just aesthetic shots of shinji walking around,9/10
and episode 5 was really good,I liked the theme of Shinji who’s meek and mild-mannered
trying to connect with rei who is deadpan,reserved and indistinguishable from a blowup doll
and failing miserably was good and gendo was expanded upon but we all know the cube angel
is the best part,8.8/10

JUNE 1st 2021

I tried finding adjectives for water to write a book I wanted to do called Emerald which I
knew would be a vast fantasy series which would subvert tropes but I couldn't come up with
any more ideas. I also tried finding a song i heard on a commercial for citv’s summer lineup
of shows,It was an EDM song that sounded really good and i’d been trying to find it’s name
ever since i heard it and this was one of the days i looked for it and i searched things like “
2019 summer edm “ and “ citv summer song “ it was so vague that I couldn’t find anything
and i couldn’t find any song detector’s. Later on I tried to build a seaside city in
minecraft,something I was trying to do ever since I had the game but was stuck on the docks.
I
also-also
watched episodes 6,7 and 8 of evangelion and episode 6 was an amazing continuation of
episode 5 and the growing connection between rei and shinji as they fought against the
cube/diamond angel and the ending was great,10/10 ,episode 7 was mid,the jokes were cringey
and the plot was shaky at best but misato was great in this one,6./10 and episode 8 was
incredible asuka was a over-confident and bitchy but she was still great especially her
dynamic with shinji and the action and unit 02 was fantastic,10,10

JUNE 2nd 2021

I watched some of zeepsterds iceberg videos such as his US president's iceberg,his ideology
iceberg and his weirdest wars in history iceberg. I also watched alternate history hubs 1984
video,rewatched hbomberys “ RWBY is disappointing and here’s why “ video which i didn’t
enjoy when i first watched it since i thought he’d just tell people who like the show like me
are stupid,But it was quite the opposite and i actually really enjoyed it whether i agreed with
his criticism’s or not and it was also just really entertaining. I also-also watched episodes 9,10
and 11 of evangelion,Episode 9
was also great and showed the conflict between shinji and asuka as they had to train to fight
the angel and eventually learn to connect and that final fight is something everyone should
see and was the perfect culmination of the episode,10/10,
Unfortunately
Episode 10 was a big step down,even though the premise of unit 02 having to dive into a
volcano to stop an angel embryo from becoming a proper angel sounds awesome but the bad
jokes and weak plot let it down and while it’s not bad it’s definitely the worst eva episode
which is a damn good sign,6/10
and episode 11
also had a cool premise of an angel invading tokyo-3 and causing it to power down,so they
have to crawl through vents to get to their eva’s and they fight it with all 3 eva’s and even
though it had less depth the action and use of the premise was solid,8.7/10.

JUNE 3rd 2021

I watched clever dick films video on the christopher eccleston era of doctor who and i was so
impressed by his review and account of the history of the christopher eccleston era that i
watched the rest of his videos from william hartnell’s era to his most recent video about the
david tennant era over the course of a few days and on this day i watched his william hartnell
and patrick troughton videos. I also watched episodes 12,13 and 14 of
Evangelion
Episodes 12,13 and 14 to be specific and episode 12 was great it’s mainly about misato dealing
with her past of her father who was mostly cold and absent died saving her and her
conflicting feelings about it and that angel fight at the end was top tier 9/10,this is a
controversial opinion but i think episode 13 was great,
I loved how the eva pilots took a back seat since after they were compromised by the angel
deactivating they’re eva’s and ritsuko has to fix that and she’s great in this episode and the
focus on her and her conflicting feelings about her deceased mother was great,9.5/10
And Episode 14 is a recap episode until the halfway point,yet still has interesting moments
such as the very introspective scene set in Rei's mind(s),7/10.

JUNE 4th 2021

I watched up to his peter davison video then me and Mum went to the beach.We didn’t buy
swim suits because we weren’t going swimming and i brought my switch with me. It looked
nice and thankfully there weren’t many people. The first thing we did was get ice cream from
a woman at a stand that looked a bit like Amy from the Bournemouth refuge, but eastbourne
has a shingle beach so it hurt whenever you sat down and I barely played my switch because
the sun beamed down onto the screen meaning I could barely see it. We got some food which
after eating it I sprinted up and down the warm stones to rinse my hands in the sea since they
were grubby and I threw stones into the water.
When we were leaving
Ocean was being really annoying by shouting and singing loudly which was incredibly
embarrassing and humiliating and i told her to stop but she continued which made me
wander off from her and i found a picture lamp which said showed an image of a man who
looked like J.R dobbs grinning with text underneath it saying something along the lines of “
Imagine a vaccine so effective you have to be blackmailed into getting it “ and other baseless
claims and i tried to tear it off but it might as well have been welded onto the it and i hate
how this bullshit is being spread to everyone in my life Mum,Aunty shernt,Aunty lala,Ronny
and Nanny,The rest of my family that i actually remember,
Even Harley and it makes me feel like I’m the only person with actual common sense and
with nobody else I can ta;k to in sight. It's awful and adds onto the other 100 problems I
have.After around 2 minutes I went back and we went home. I re-watched some of red bards
videos since I'd come across her a while back.I also
Watched episodes 15,16,17 and 18 of evangelion
,Episode 15 was great even though it’s a wholesome filler episode mainly about shinji,asuka
and misato and is the closest the anime comes to calm,10/10,Episode 16 is incredible,it starts
with shinji getting overconfident after he’s complimented and his cockyness ends up getting
him trapped in an angel’s shadow dimension for almost 24 hours,
while the others
desperately try to get him back and almost dies before his eva goes berserk after his near
death experience connects him to his eva’s soul and all that tension,horror and suspense
culminates in a BRUTAL climax that i won’t spoil,10/10.

JUNE 5th 2021

I watched an iceberg video about captain underpants which was a series I used to be into
despite only having the 10th book and the movie,which is still a literal masterpiece,And an
iceberg on disturbing albums which had some interesting and dark entries but was also really
pretentious. I also watched Episode 17
Was really good and strangely ominous but it was just there to set up tohji and unit 03 for
Episode 18,9/10 and Episode 18 was perfection,Unit 03 was possessed while the pilot was still
inside and horribly attacks unit’s 00 and 02 and unit 01 is forced to deal with it in an even
more violent fashion and that changes shinji and gendo’s dynamic as shinji wanted gendo to
be a father to him but after the event that i won’t spoil he realises how shitty of a person he
truly is,It was heart wrenching,dark and horrifying but it was worth every second,10/10
 JUNE 6th 2021

I finished every clever dick films video on doctor who that he’s made so far and it was really
good but even though he’s middle aged it felt like it was coming from the perspective of a 60
year old which is something i can't get behind since 95% of old people are pretentious,bible
bashing arseholes but thankfully he seems like a good person. I also watched a few shcfrillas
production’s videos and tried to find a video on why Avatar the last airbender is complete
garbage since i tried watching it and LOATHED it,The character’s were awful,the plot was
aimless and it was more uninspired then stranger things which up until i tried watching it i
thought was impossible,so i dropped it after episode 3 which was slightly better than the
previous 2 but still boring and maybe if i watched more i would’ve enjoyed it but i just don’t
care,
The worst part is that everyone shills the show all the time and never criticises it’s so
annoying how everyone hails this show as the second coming of fucking christ,Honestly if
people shut up about the show i would have thought it was just a boring show but the fact
that you basically have to like it makes me despise the show.
I also-also
Watched episodes 19,20 & 21 of evangelion,episode 19 was perfection,Shinji grow’s a spine
and decides to leave nerv but an angel attacks soon after and decimates tokyo-3 so he pilot’s
unit 01 on his own terms and the fight between unit 01 and the angel was
breath-taking,brutal and the closest the show comes to horror,every character is
on-point,every moment is masterful and just got better and better until the dark yet satisfying
climax,10/10,best episode so far,episode 20 was also brilliant with nerv needing to try to
desperately salvage shinji out of the eva while he’s essentially trapped in a strange
manifestation of his own consciousness and that aspect was the best part i loved how strange
and abstract it was and how it explored shinji’s wants,needs,emotions and mindset in a
unique way but nerv having to squeeze blood from a stone to get shinji back,which they
eventually do was great as well,10/10
And
Episode 21 was very good.I liked the exploration of nerv’s history,gendo and the other
characters who were present through it and how it clarified why certain characters did
certain things throughout the show,8.5/10.

JUNE 7th 2021

I started the day by watching episodes 22-26 of Evangelion,Episode 22 was great,It shows
how after asuka’s low self confidence and anger causes her to fail as an eva pilot and after she
tries to fight a angel that basically violently assaults asuka’s mind,which causes her to fully
snap by the end,It was extremely sad but so good,10/10
,Episode 23
was also amazing,It got me to care about rei,a character who didn’t develop to much and was
extremely bland because of her development throughout the episode,especially that
incredible fight with the weird halo angel and the climax was surprisingly sad,10/10
,Episode 24
Was,would you guess a masterpiece,after everything shinji’s been through,throughout the
show he’s basically been broken,asuka lost her mind and motivation to do anything,rei,well i
won’t spoil that and misato is irresponsible,self-destructive and mentally shaky at best so he’s
lost so when,and i’ll try not to spoil it,
but he meets someone who he forms a deep bond with but after a twist reveal he has to make
a dark decision that’s messed up either way and he chooses the one that would affect him the
most and the mostly happy tone of the episode before it shifts into despair and that final
scene all of it was depressing but amazing,10/10.
Now
Episode 25 and 26 are a weird deal since when gainax were making evangelion they had time
constraints when they were making episodes 25 and 26 and didn’t have time to fully animate
it so they mostly reused animation but had a few scenes made for them but it STILL managed
to be incredible since they used the recycled footage and extra scenes to make a powerful and
interesting exploration of every major characters mind but especially shinji and if he should
create a world with human interaction or not,10/10.
Overall
Evangelion was an amazing show with a great plot and characters that was an exciting and
emotional ride,10/10
The last thing I'll say about it is how I'd rank all the episodes,Here goes

1. Episode 19: Introjection

2. Episode 26: Take care of yourself
3. Episode 18: Ambivalence
4. Episode 24: The last cometh
5. Episode 22: Don’t be
6. Episode 25: Do you love me
7. Episode 23: Tears
 8. Episode 9: Both of you dance like you want to win
9. Episode 20: Weaving a story 2: Oral stage
10. Episode 16: Splitting of the breast
11. Episode 8 :Asuka strikes
12. Episode 12: A miracles worth
13. Episode 13: Lilliputian hitcher
14. Episode 6: Rei II
15. Episode 15: Lies and silence
16. Episode 4: Hedgehog’s dilemma
17. Episode 1: Angel attack
18. Episode 2: Unfamiliar ceilings
19. Episode 5: Rei I
20. Episode 17: The fourth to be qualified
21. Episode 21: The birth of nerv
22. Episode 3: A silent phone
23. Episode 11: The day tokyo-3 stood still
24. Episode 14: Weaving a story
25. Episode 7:A human work
26. Episode 10: Magma diver: 5.0

And i promise the last eva related thing i did was watch the end of evangelion which was
made in 1997 as a more literal,alternative end to the tv show and it was really dark every
character goes through the pits of anguish and falls to the lowest state possible and that’s
putting it lightly but the depth story,spectacle and iconic nature every scene the fight
between unit 02 and the mpe’s ( Mass Produced Eva’s ) and the polish of every frame made me
feel sickened but also amazed and while i wouldn’t say it’s as good as the show it’s definitely
up there,9/10.

I also watched Pigpen's fantastic Star Wars iceberg which was incredibly extensive yet really
fun to watch.

JUNE 8th 2021

When i opened up minecraft the text at the side of the screen said black lives matter and i
burst out laughing because minecraft was saying something so serious after the trend died
out,And watched foxakimbos iceberg on things that scared gen y and z as kids.
 JUNE 9th 2021

I rewatched some of super planet dolan’s Q and A videos and they still hold up and are pretty
funny even though it’s more of a kids show but unfortunately they haven’t uploaded in over a
year,apparently because they’re working on an 3d animated show called destruna which is
about an augmented reality racing tournament and the character’s and setting look really cool
and interesting but judging how the last time their twitter was updated was january 2021 so
i’m not sure it’s coming out soon if ever which is obviously a shame.

JUNE 10th 2021

I tried to find a site that would let me make a game but quickly gave up and watched a good
video about a youtuber called the salt factories video where he evaluates the stories of every
pokemon game aside from sword and shield since he already made a video on those which got
me into his channel.
This was also the day i finally took the plunge and decided to watch series 1-12 of doctor who
and i watched rose and the end of the world and rose was a solid 8.0 out of 10
The story about the autons trying to take over the world was pretty good but the fast pace and
dynamic between the 9th doctor was what made it so good despite the cheesy tone,
And the end of the world was just as also an 8.0 because of the great setting of a spaceship
watching the world end and again the dynamic and development given to rose and the doctor
was great and the story is good and really creative,where the main villain is a
talking,egotistical sheet of skin called cassandra who looks like michael jackson after the
transracial surgery,who wants to destroy the ship they’re on to get money,oh and the sun also
explodes.despite the end being a bit underwhelming and if i was to rank them i’d say

1. Rose:
2. The end of the world
 JUNE 11th 2021

I watched foxakimbo’s banned movies iceberg and his lost/cancelled games iceberg,And also
watched a video called “ why kendrick lamar’s u is heartbreaking '' which i completely agreed
with but i thought the video was so well made that i subscribed to the youtuber who made it’s
channel including his video on blacked the anime which was a controversial video/parody
that was seen as racist because it’s about stereotypical black people taking over a
school,basically reverse gentrification and i think it was trying to be offensive for the sake of
it and wasn’t actually trying to say something racist.
I also
watched two episodes of doctor who series 1,episode 3 and 6,episode 3 ,the unquiet dead was
where the series really came into its element,like the first 2 episodes were good but this is
when it became an amazing series,the story is about the doctor and rose travelling to
christmas,1869 to meet charles dickens but end up fighting ghosts with him,the atmosphere
of the setting was amazing and so were the characters and admittedly simple story,everything
about it was on-point but because the ending felt a bit rushed and so did a few over elements
i’d give it an 8.7/10.I also watched episode 6 of doctor who series 1,Dalek with mum which is
an absolute masterpiece,The dark tone,The dalek mass murdering the people who kept it
captive for so long only to start questioning it’s existence and doctor being just as if not more
vile than the dalek,all of these element’s come together to make a perfect episode,And mum
even teared up by the end,10/10

1. Dalek: 10/10
2. The unquiet dead: 8.5/10
3. The end of the world: 8.2/10
4. Rose: 8/10

JUNE 12th 2021

I found out netflix was deleting red dwarf probably to make room for a shitty netflix original
that everybody will hate and so i decided to watch the whole thing and got up to series 1
episode 4 before my laptop started acting up and i couldn’t see the screen through the hdmi
so out of anger i threw it down and spat on it but quickly wiped it off,picked it up and just left
it before a few hours later i tried to use it and it worked.

JUNE 12th 2021

I watched fox kimbo's obscure games iceberg and some more of red dwarf up to series 2
episode 4 but i had to stop since we were going to a hotel at brighton and i wasn’t hooking it
up to a tv in a hotel but conveniently the black laptop i sprayed with the darkened screen lit
up slightly so i could use and see it while also having a portable laptop
and on the journey there I listened to the youtuber kross’s amazing video on voltron and we
passed a great looking village that looked homely and green like something out of a fantasy
novel.
The hotel had nice stone exterior walls and interior patterned walls and floors and the room
we were given looked really nice and comfy as well but unfortunately the laptop i brung had
significantly dimmed so i could only use my switch which thankfully had youtube so i could
watch videos as well as play games which took a while to work because the room service was
a bit shitty and they took long to activate the wi-fi and we had to order takeaway since they
weren’t answering the phone.
Unfortunately I never finished red dwarf and it was deleted from netflix when we got
back,And i had the season 1-4 box set but seasons 5 and 6 are great as well and it’s just better
to watch something online than on dvd,R.i.P red dwarf on netflix.

JUNE 13th 2021

When i woke up mum told me we were going to the beach which was just outside the window
so i got ready while listening to the youtuber eruption fangs videos on rwby volume 6 with my
mum’s earphones because nintendo are too lazy to have bluetooth on a console that was
literally made in 2017,
But i digress,
We went there and it was packed which i don’t understand because it’s just hard,burning
rocks like eastbourne yet people flock there in droves which completely hindered my
enjoyment of it since i worried that if i did absolutely anything people would judge me for it
especially since most of the people there seemed really self centred and like those arseholes
you see on love island but not as comically extreme and even if they were normal people i’d
still think they’d hate me for just being present and since ocean’s loud and annoying i have a
fear of her making an absolute fool out of me in public and after we got ice cream and those
cinnamon doughnuts which i’m 98% sure they put cocaine in i told her we should go back to
the hotel and she agreed and when we went back she said something about people staring at
her which i didn’t want to hear more about.
I tried going again
But it still had at least 200,000 people even though we walked down the street to see if there
was a quiet spot with a few people but we couldn’t find any,so i noped out again and to this
day i still have trouble going outside since it feels like everyone’s looking over my shoulder at
every action i take so i spent the rest of the day inside playing pokemon sword,trying to build
a seaside city in minecraft and listening to youtube some bad early 2000s girls film was on in
the background.

JUNE 14th 2021

So in the middle of the night i had to take a fat dump and i don’t know if it was the shit itself
or the toilet having small pipes but it got blocked and since i didn’t know what to do i
reluctantly told mum what happened and she was predictably mad about it since it was a
hotel and she said to use the kettle or just leave it and so i chose to use the kettle and it took
at least 2 hours for it to go down but it eventually did,afterwards she apologised for getting
mad and went back to sleep until the sun rose.
So you know how i
Said that the room service was bad,well it turned out that it was only because they were busy
that night and because of that she changed our stay there from 4 days to 2 but when the room
service was better on day 2 it made her regret her decision but she couldn’t change it so we
had to go back to that garbage place,At least the drive back looked nice with fields of grass
right near a beach with no people swished past the window.

jUNE 15th 2021

When Mum was playing her music on a loudspeaker i decided to listen to some of mine on
my headphones and i chase to finally listen to daft punk’s alive 2007 and it was absolutely
incredible,the way they perfectly combined completely different songs from
homework,discovery and human after all was amazing to hear and it felt cinematic for lack of
a better term,my only complaint was that it felt a bit too long but otherwise i’d give it a 10/10.
Also when
It was finished a perfect mashup of their first 3 albums by a guy called messypandas played
but i didn’t know that so i thought it was part of the album. Later on I also watched a video
about why pokemon black and white don’t need remakes which is an idea I do agree with but
it came across as some pretentious arsehole going “ oLd ThInG GoOd,NeW tHiNg BaD “.
Earlier on i watched episodes 4 & 5 of doctor who series 1 which had no right to be as good as
they were,the plot is basically about a spaceship crashing into big ben and green,farting,obese
aliens trying to start world war III and i love how cheesy the two parter is but how its also a
harsh,stinging satire on 9/11 and the war on terror,the characters were on point as always as
well especially rose’s mum and her boyfriend mickey,overall i’d give it a 9.2/10,it was really
fun.

1. Dalek
2. Aliens of london/World War Three
3. The unquiet dead
4. The end of the world
5. Rose

JUNE 16th 2021

A while back I heard that there was a desert in Britain but I didn't know if it was true or not
so I looked it up and there actually is,it’s called Dungeness and it’s on the coast of the bottom
of Kent and I'd like to go one day.

JUNE 17th 2021

I watched a review of wonder egg priority since i was still waiting for the “ 1 hour long “
special and,spoilers by the way after that cliffhanger of parallel universes being revealed and
one of frill’s henchmen killing the version of ai that killed herself and it teasing the special
and maybe even a second season. Mum told me some incredible news,we finally had a house
available to move into in canterbury and we’d be moving there in 2 weeks,we were finally
moving out of that shitty prison into a good house in a great town.

The last thing that happened was that i looked for a

bad review of the jodie whittaker era of doctor who to see if it would just be a nazi,incel or
not and i came across a review called why chibnall doen’t work: rosa and since i wanted to see
if they would have a racist reation to it or review it fairly and he actually did,it was a great
video with thought out criticism’s that were genuine and made sense,it was also really
entertaining i highly recommend it.

JUNE 19th 2021

I watched quite a few of down the rabbit hole’s video’s most notably his final fantasy house
video which was about a man who moved into a house with a really abusive and delusional
woman who believed she was a final fantasy character and also forced her to pretend to be
characters from the franchise and she also wore the same dress everyday and never bathed. I
also watched episode 7 of series 1 of doctor who,the long game which was about the
doctor,rose and adam,a secondary character from dalek who nobody likes having to stop a
corrupt news station from controlling the population of a space station and the rest of the
galaxy,it sounds really cool but it’s really not,it’s just pretty bland and has an overly simple
story and weak characters,it wasn’t terrible,hell it wasn’t even bad it was just sort of
mediocre,aside from simon pegg as the villain,he was brilliant,shame he wasn’t in a better
episode,5/10.

1. Dalek
2. Aliens of london/world War Three
3. The unquiet dead
4. The end of the world
5. Rose
6. The long game

JUNE 21st 2021

We took a cab to go and see the house while I listened to a podcast by judgemental critter,a
RWBY related youtuber who I'd grown to really enjoy throughout the year. When we reached
the house it looked nice, it just had nothing there aside from cupboards and a weird fireplace
ornament on the front room wall but it was nice looking,especially the upstairs rooms i
instantly chose the blue and magenta painted one as my room,Ocean’s room was light green
and mum’s room was just white but still looked really nice since it had a large wardrobe with
a glass slider. It also had a really nice looking garden with messy,uncut grass and trees
peeking behind the back fence.

JUNE 25th 2021

Mum and ocean snuck out of the refuge to go into aunty shernet’s car to bring some stuff to
our new home and because of the retarded rule that parent’s have to always be with their
children even 11-17 year olds,i also had to be extra quiet to make it look like i wasn’t there.
When they left i was bored and i decided to watch akira on netflix since i’d heard it’s a classic
anime up there with evangelion,ghost in the shell and fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood and
for good reason,it’s a great cyberpunk film with a dark,interesting world,great social
commentary and character’s and tons of depth,I’d give it a 9.4/10.

JUNE 26th 2021

I decided to start watching the evangelion rebuild movies which are a reimagining of
the tv series and there are 3 of them,1.0,2.0 and 3.0 and i obviously started with Evangelion
1.0: You are ( Not ) alone which came out in 2007 and while i enjoyed it,it started AWFULLY
it was a painfully bland shot for shot remake of the first episode but without the interesting
characters,vibe and with pacing that drags like a 79 year old crippled man pulling a dead,fat
man up mt everest
,the only
thing that was better about the first 20 minutes was the incredible animation quality,and the
scene of shinji getting into unit 01 for the first time didn’t feel like an awe inspiring but
terrifying experience and more like watching a slow computer with god-awful internet try to
run a game,but thankfully after the first 20 minutes it got a lot better the characters were on
point and the added changes were amazing and it even cut down on the filler and the bigger
budget made the fights awe-inspiring and incredible and the adaptation of episode 6 was
even better than the original so overall i’d give it an 8.5/10.

JUNE 27th 2021

I watched Evangelion 2.0: You can ( Not ) Advance which came out in 2009 and was absolutely
amazing,The story and characters were still great but the best one was rei who was massively
improved from the glorified blow up doll to a reserved but caring person and i loved how it
starts of as a happy,
slice of life,mecha anime with great fights and an intriguing story about shinji learning to
open up only for it to take a dark u-turn in the middle which leads to an amazing ending
where the world almost ends while shinji tries to save rei from an angel,my only problem is
that mari was a pretty under developed character,yeah her fight with the 10th/14th angel was
awesome and i begrudgingly admit she is like a 9 or 10 on the attractive scale but she’s a
boring mary sue but i can deal with that,I can firmly say I’ll give it a 9.5 out of 10.

JUNE 28th 2021

I watched the 2012 film Evangelion 3.0: You can ( Not redo ) which while weird as hell was
still really entertaining and insightful,now this is a film where you’ll either love it or hate it
because of the weird plot which gives you no answers,basically after the ending of 2.0 the
world is completely screwed over and mostly decrepit and covered in red and it places you in
shinji’s mind with you not knowing what the hell is going on with the world
,misato hates him and created an organisation called wille to fight nerv,rei taking him back to
nerv only for him to realise she’s not the same rei and realising the end of the last movie
screwed up the world
And he’s basically lost until he meets kawaru who he again forms a deep bond with and later
on shinji decides he wants to save and restore the world and the fight between nerv,wille and
the evas was brilliant and one of the best fights in the franchise and the smaller scale
character moments and weird setting was great,8.9/10,Now i just had to wait for 3.0 + 1.0 to
come out in the west.

JUNE 30th 2021

Since the wonder egg priority special was supposed to be coming out on the 30th I scoured
the internet to find it but found nothing so I gave up and waited till the next day to resume
my search.

JULY 1st 2021

I managed to find the wonder egg priority special on some pirate site and i checked mal for
the score and it had a 5.08 which made me go into the special with high standards and
medium expectations,i didn’t expect something mind-blowing,but something good enough
and i thought it had that low score because of some controversy on twitter or people just
sending waves of hate to it for no reason,But i soon came to realise it was because this special
is to this day one of the most awful and disappointing things me and so many other people
around the globe invested in this show had ever seen in there lives,
The producers
had promised a 1 hour long special but we instead got a 45 minute special where the first 20
MINUTES!! where a recap,episode 8 was also a recap we sure as hell don’t need one literally 4
episodes later!! But the recap is the best thing about this piece of shit,
the 25 minutes that try to “ continue “ the story is one of the most retarded,frustrating and
disrespectful things i’ve ever seen i have to give you a spoiler warning,if you want to watch
wonder egg watch episodes 1-10 but if you for some reason want to watch episodes 11-13 i’ll
colour the parts where i go into detail on spoilers red so you knw where to skip but let’s
continue on,
The story is a
jumbled mess that is incomprehensible to even the clinically insane,something about neiru
going missing and being replaced by her friend,except it turned out that our neiru was
actually the real neiru’s twin sister and our neiru,
Who’s
actually called airu was kidnapped by frill and the special ends with ai smiling at the camera
promising to save airu,but the worst part is how the special not only does the most brutal
character assasination possible,
but also tortured and assaulted the quality of their writing in every way possible ruining
everything about them such as making rika just randomly leave the group and ai and momoe
as well but the absolute worst thing was so poorly written and misses the mark so hard the
arrow flew to the fucking moon that i was even offended by it and i almost never get
offended,
so ai’s friend koito who she’d been trying to save turned out to have not been taken advantage
of by mr.sawaki but infact blackmailed him with the threat of suicide,I don’t mind the twist
but the way it was handled and the fact that the show was clearly building up to the reveal of
her jumping because she was being taken advantage of by sawaki and it turned out she fell of
by accident,it just felt gross even victim-blamey and felt like a spit in the face to the themes
of suicide throughout the show,i’ll admit i found alot of characters in the show relatable even
the struggle with suicide but it felt like all of it was shat all over especially since episode 11
was about how suicide in the show isn’t because of depression and other issues but because
of a clone,cyborg,internet ghost which made me completely disassociate with the emotional
aspects and the special removed them completely to make an awful sci-fi with a borderline
b-movie plot and i felt bad because this show genuinely helped me throughout a dark time in
my life,one that i’m still in but seeing the characters help the suicide victim’s fight against
here past trauma’s as well as dealing with there own made me feel alot better but now it felt
like that was taking all of that relatability which made the show so good was ruined,burnt and
broken beyond repair,this is tothis day the worst thing i’ve ever seen in anime and i’d honest
to god give it a 1.2/10 it has none of the charm,emotion or breath-taking animation,it was just
dogshit.

JULY 4th 2021

On july 5th we were moving so we got ready and packed some stuff and i got into trash taste
an “anime” podcast that has 3 people hosting who you’ve probably heard of if you like
anime,Gigguk,The anime man and CdawgVA and i started with the our trash taste in anime
video which was great. I also downloaded some doctor who episodes and anime on my google
drive.

JULY 5th 2021

We were finally moving from the shitty prison that was the refuge which we had been living
in for almost 11 months and i hastily got ready because i wanted to get out as soon as possible
while downloading as many youtube videos as possible before we had to leave as well as
bringing stuff downstairs and into the taxi,Harley and his family had left so i had nobody to
say bye to and when we eventually left i was elated and because i despised the refuge i turned
back,spat near the door,went into the taxi and never looked back,I was free from the refuge
but was i actually happy.

ARC FOUR: HALF EMPTY

JULY 7th 2021

I was asleep for most the journey there but when we got there the house was barren,no
furniture,no carpet,no oven,no nothing so we had to use a bags full of soft things like pillows
and i fell asleep,I had to listen to the videos i downloaded and when i went to bed i used my
blowup bed,It was a nice house,but would it be a nice experience.
 JULY 8th 2021

I heard the neighbours behind the fence with tall bushes and trees facing forward at our
house while I listened to a video of someone explaining all 37 timelines of evangelion,it was
okay but I was too busy talking about the loud afrobeats playing and people with heavy
african accents cheering,It was going well so far over the course of the three days we basically
could do anything that wasn’t allowed in the refuge,getting takeaway,Mum not having to be
with me when she goes out,taking cabs right near the house etc but i was waiting for
furniture and wi-fi to come,so it wasn’t bad but it just felt like something was missing,6/10.

JULY 9th 2021

Mum got a fridge that looked like a giant 8 foot tall rectangle transformer from the year
3000,And I made fun of it by calling it megatron.

JULY 10th 2021

Mum went to the shops to get some stuff while i stayed home and watched the empty child
two-parter of doctor who since fathers day didn’t properly download,and it was great,the
world war II setting,while overused in all media was amazing and felt realistic,and so where
the characters and horror elements of the child in the gas mask turning over people into
zombie like creatures all with gas masks almost welded to their faces it was great,this was
also the episode that introduced captain jack harkness who is a phenomenal character who
exudes charisma everywhere he goes and his dynamic with the doctor and rose was great and
the ending served the arc of the doctor becoming a better,happier man,this is easily the
second best story in series 1,after dalek of course,10/10

1. Dalek: 10
2. The empty child/The doctor dances: 10
3. Aliens of london/World War Three: 9.7
4. The unquiet dead: 8.4
5. The end of the world: 8.1
6. Rose: 8.0
7. The long game: 5.0
When Mum came back she brung a few dvd’s and ordered takeaway,all while i was listening
to a really good episode of trash taste about how insane the youtube industry youtube can
be,Also in case you're wondering if i wanted to put on a video i downloaded i’d have to wait
till everyone was gone since i’m embarrassed about what i like,then i’d put on one of the
video’s or audio files since for whatever reason they were sound only. Later on we got the
takeaway since we had no oven and it was so refreshing to have somebody actually deliver
takeaway to our door instead of having to pull up near an alley or outside a nearby bus stop or
church like an actual drug deal,but the takeaway was relatively mediocre it was just a vegan
burger with pasta inside it and chips on the side,5/10,what wasn’t mediocre was me watching
doctor who,series 1,episode 11 boom town,which was about the doctor,rose,jack and mickey
going on holiday in cardiff which goes well until margaret,certain character from episodes 4
& 5 returns and the doctor having to decide whether to let them continue their life,or bring
them to be executed,and the story while simple was really good but the characters were
amazing mickey confronting rose about leaving him behind on earth,jack just doing his own
thing and especially the doctor and margaret and the restaurant scene was brilliant,my only
problem was the ending felt like a rushed copout but nothing offensively bad,9.5/10

1. Dalek: 10
2. The empty child/The doctor dances: 10
3. Boom town: 10
4. Aliens of london/World War Three: 9.7
5. The unquiet dead: 8.4
6. The end of the world: 8.1
7. Rose: 8.0
8. The long game: 5.0

JULY 11th 2021

I watched the series finale of doctor who series 1,Bad wolf/The parting of the ways which was
about the team of rose,the doctor and mickey being teleported to a space station where
people are forced to star in reality shows where they’re killed off if they lose,only to find that
it’s part of a much bigger dalek plot,it was obviously amazing the action,characters where
great especially the doctor fully healing from the time war and regenerating afterwards and
the plot was amazing,even the reality show parodies and especially the dalek invasion,10/10
1. Dalek: 10
 2. Bad wolf/The parting of the ways: 10
3. The empty child/The doctor dances: 10
4. Boom town: 10
5. Aliens of london/World War Three: 9.7
6. The unquiet dead: 8.4
7. The end of the world: 8.1
8. Rose: 8.0
9. The long game: 5.0

Overall series 1 was still as amazing as i remember i love how the doctor is constantly in
conflict with himself and is dark and brooding but still a really fun character and christopher
eccleston did a phenomenal job,Rose was great as well and while she was naive she also had a
spine and she was mostly nice,aside from her causing the severe and harsh cucking of mickey
smith ( also an okay character ) and every other character,even the villains were really
good,aside from adam. The settings of the stories were great from 2005 london to the end of
the world,lots of space stations ( since the bbc didn’t have enough money for a proper planet )
to WWII and a victorian christmas and every story has some kind of message and warning
like how fear and war mongering,the danger of fascism,War changing people and even grief.
I’d give series 1 a 10/10,it’s incredible.
 JULY 12th 2021

Me and mum decided to watch one of the stupidest and insane movies of all time,1999s
uninvited guest it’s in that special class of media known as “ so bad it’s good “,the movie is
basically about a woman and her husband,who’s writing a murder-thriller script and his
tyrone freind who’s also a criminal comes to stay there for a bit and she ends up cheating with
him because the husbands not giving her any “ special attention “ but it turns out that he
came to murder everyone in the house,that’s as far as i’ll go with plot details because i urge
you to watch it,it’s a terrible,low-budget hood movie but it’s so hysterically,funny that it
doesn’t even matter,I also accidentally stepped on the tv’s plug socket which made it break so
that meant i had to wait god knows how long for a new tv to come and listen to a pokemon
iceberg video,on repeat AND wait for the wi-fi to come.

JULY 13th 2021

I told Mum that I stepped on the plug and she didn’t get as mad as i expected since she was
subscribed to some network which gives her phone and laptop wi-fi anywhere as long as she
pays for it,but she still didn’t like that it was broken. Later on she decided to put on kung fu
panda 2 and i decided to watch it,despite it being a kids movie,but the sound and audio
quality on her laptop was piss poor,The movie looked like it was recorded through a
mangled,half-eaten potato and it sounded that way as well,it was incomprehensible,like
putting a cone to the sea and trying to listen to a world war II radio stuck in the mariana
trench,So we made fun of it.
Also I was getting really sick of listening to that damn pokemon iceberg.

JULY 14th-20th 2021

These 6 days were excruciatingly boring. All I did was go in the garden,play my switch and
listen to that DAMN. POKEMON. VIDEO!!!,and i was begging,BEGGING for that tv to
come,i needed it so i didn’t go insane listening to the same video,over and over again at least
in tonbridge and the refuge I had wi-fi or basic entertainment,but on the 20th the tv finally
came and me and mum assembled the tv which was insanely hard since none of us have the
strength of a grown man i had to hold the tv in place so mum could put the screws in
place,and assemble the bottom of the tv and i tore open the box and tight plastic it was in like
a rabid hyena,but it was necessary and even when mum said it wasn’t worth it I
CONVINCED her that it was worth it and when i put it on top of the tv stand she brought
and when i turned it on,i knew!! I was right,the quality was crisp and smooth,the sound
quality was cinema like and the only problem was that i wanted it to be a bit brighter,but the
only settings we could select was the language and wi-fi which we didn’t have.

JULY 22nd 2021

I don’t know if this happened after or before we got our telle but for simplicity's sake i’ll say it
happened on the 22nd Mum got a truck and a cab to bring over furniture from tonbridge to
the house while she got in a cab to and from tonbridge and i just waited at the house for a
truck to bring the stuff from tonbridge and then bring it into the house,and everything except
the beds,chairs and washing machine came even the blaupunkt tv that i put in my room and i
also had to use 99% of my strength to move the furniture to the correct places and when i was
done for the first time since 2017 it actually felt like a nice home,nowhere near perfect but
comfortable to live in. Also the cab mum was in turned out be bilal’s cab,He brung a few
things to the door and i was surprised but excited to see him since he’s one of the nicest
people i’ve ever met since from autumn 2018-august 2020 he was the go to cab driver and he
always talked to us and made the journey entertaining and he was the only good thing about
tonbridge since he works there and i think london,unfortunately i only got to say hello before
he had to go and drop mum and ocean off at the house

JULY 23rd 2021

When I woke up I went into the garden and listened to a trash taste video i downloaded,it was
actually the first one i watched,it was raining so i wore my coat and when we first moved to
the house i actually went in the garden alot.
Since there was nothing else to watch i put on the opening ceremony of the 2021 tokyo
olympics and it started off with the different teams walking onto the stage with clothes that
match their countries flags and cultures and all of the teams had great drip but it was let
down by some guy making 10 hour long speech on solidarity,now i agree with what he was
saying but how he said it just felt so soulless and disingenuous and him saying that they let a
refugee olympic team and other diverse teams into the olympics just felt really cheap and
exploitative even and i doubt that was the intention since they communicated that message
well afterwards very well,if a bit blunt,but the 19 hour long speech just felt lazy,you have to
show solidarity through your actions,not empty words and promises. The actual show
afterwards was great however and took a lot of talent to make.
 JULY 24th 2020

I think mum went out again and i stayed home and proceeded to watch the worst news
channel ever conceived by man and certainly by the U.K,Gb news,now before you say
anything i didn’t know better at the time,i thought it was a normal news channel that let their
hosts and guests do and say what they want but i was unaware it was basically a far-right talk
show,and before you say anything,i don’t like most of the lefties since their
oversensitive,coward,simps who have the IQ and reasoning skills of a foetus,i also hate most
of the right because they’re bigoted,hateful and unpleasant and act like a 2 year old flipping
their shit whenever they see something that mildly irritates them and are also responsible for
brexit,one of the worst things to happen to this country,creating mass division and
xenophobia,but i didn’t know they were like that,see
In the
Uk most news channels don’t give you opinions and feel robotic,facts yes but opinions,not
really,so when i watch bbc or sky news talk about a serious issue it just feels impersonal and
even fake,like i’m watching a machine briefly tell me the events of the day, so when i turned
on gb news and heard people say if they liked or disliked a certain idea it felt good and
authentic saying how they didn’t like the government's handling of the pandemic,or hating
self-important sjws was amazing,but they also criticised black sports players who even briefly
said the mind-blowing,controversial statement that racism is bad and telling them to “ stay
into your lane “ and even outright excuse people like J.k rowling and the over 9 million
celebrities who got cancelled for being transphobic and it’s clear that even though they talk
out of their arse about letting their guests say whatever they want,it’s clear that if your not
right,you're not right (please kill me),so in conclusion the left suck but so do the right,2/10.

JULY 25th 2021

I watched the first doctor who christmas special,which i also consider the first episode of
series 2,It’s basically about a major invasion and takeover of earth happening on christmas
while the 10th doctor is completely knocked out after regenerating and rose,mickey,jackie
and harriet jones from the slitheen 2-parter and the story,characters and stakes are great it
feels like they’ve lost,while not feeling overly dark and when the doctor wakes up it gets even
better,everyone knows david tennant,he’s the fan favourite doctor and i can see why,and while
he’s not my favourite when he wakes up you know he is THE doctor and the ending where he
saves the world let’s us see his darker side was amazing,overall i’d give it a 10/10

1. Dalek: 10
2. Bad wolf/The parting of the ways: 10
3. The christmas invasion: 10
4. The empty child/The doctor dances: 10
5. Boom town: 9.6
6. Aliens of london/World war three: 9.4
7. The unquiet dead: 8.5
8. The end of the world: 8.2
9. Rose: 8.1
10. The long game: 5.0

JULY 26th 2021

I watched the episode 1 of series 2 and it’s the first bad episode so far,yeah the long game was
a bit bland,but you can never call it “ bad “,New earth on the other hand was so awful it was
almost physically painful to watch,It’s plot is about the doctor and rose going to new earth,a
planet that is,of course an exact replica of earth and they end up going to a hospital there
were cassandra,the main villain from the end of the world is back from the dead and
possesses rose only for it to become a zombie outbreak situation when they find out the
hospitals dark secret,it sounds cool the execution makes the episode completely
unwatchable,the characters suck,the humour is illumination tier and the story is beyond
stupid,by the end i was begging for death,worst episode so far 3.5/10

1. Dalek: 10
2. Bad wolf/The parting of the ways: 10
3. The christmas invasion: 10
4. The empty child/The doctor dances: 10
 5. Boom town: 9.7
6. Alien of london/World War Three: 9.4
7. The unquiet dead: 8.5
8. The end of the world: 8.2
9. Rose: 8.1
10. The long game: 5.0
11. New earth: 3.5

JULY 28th 2021

Since mum went out to do something i decided to use my free time to watch episodes 2-6 of
doctor who series 2 so i’ll speed run my thoughts on them,episode 2,tooth and claw was
okay,it was basically about the doctor and rose going to 1879 and meeting queen victoria,only
to have to fight a werewolf,it’s a weird premise but it works fairly well,the action with the
werewolf and general setting is great,but the cg has not aged well and the characters are a bit
bland,also it really pushed how much i can tolerate the overly sappy and annoying romance
with 10 and rose,but overall it’s pretty good,7/10.
At the time
I really enjoyed school reunion,The story was okay and simple,it was just about the
doctor,rose and mickey stopping aliens from taking over a school but the characters are what
make the episode so good,rose and mickey are good enough but the doctor and sarah jane are
what make the episode good,another aspect of the plot is that sarah jane,a companion from
the classic era returns and the doctor having to confront how he left her behind and sarah
jane having to deal with the doctor being a completely new man,and they’re friendship is
really enduring,i also like how mickey realises he’s the third wheel and the main villain’s actor
does an incredible job of being charismatic yet intimidating and the ending is sad but
amazing,9.2/10
Episode 4,
The girl in the fireplace
is
The fan favourite of series 2 and i can see why,it’s about the doctor,rose and mickey travelling
to a deserted spaceship in the 51st century only to find out it’s connected to 19th century
france,specifically to madame de pompadour's bedroom and the doctor meets her several
times throughout the day first as a child and she sees him as her imaginary friend but when
she gets older she falls in love with him,but while a few hours pass for him,years pass for her
and both times are threatened by clockwork androids who use human organs to power the
51st century ship,the story was high concept but still felt really emotional and i felt attached
to each characters story,it was truly something special,10/10
And the episodes 5 and 6,rise of the cybermen/age of steel where okay,the story of a company
trying to turn all humans on a parallel earth into cyborgs was really interesting and this is
where mickey really comes into his own,he started off as an enduring,beta male,simp into a
chad who still retains his enduring traits and since he realises he’s,the third wheel he leaves
the team to help out in the parallel world,overall it was pretty good 7/10,also i fell asleep
through it,not because i was bored but because i was tired.

AUGUST 2nd 2021

I watched episode 8 of doctor who series 2,the impossible planet and it was amazing,it was
about the doctor and rose getting stuck in a base on a barren,atmosphere less,rocky world
orbiting a black hole while strange,creepy supernatural events take place and it’s later
revealed that the actual devil is behind it,all the characters are really good and the setting and
horror is amazing,9.8/10. Also for some reason the second part just did not start.

AUGUST 5th 2021

After 33 days the wi-fi box finally came and i was beyond excited but mum was busy doing
some stuff but i couldn’t stand being without wi-fi any longer so i spent 20 long minutes
trying to set it up and it finally working after being bored out of my mind for so long was one
of the most hype moments of 2021,the very first thing i did was go outside and listen to the
that one tame impala song,it was cheesy but incredible. I also watched father’s day,a doctor
who episode from series 1 that didn’t download properly and it was great,it was more
grounded than most other episodes since it’s about rose travelling back in time to save her
father from a car accident and inadvertently causing a time paradox,and it was great,it has
some of the best character moments in series 1 and has a bittersweet but incredibly
interesting plot and setting and the ending was amazing,9.4/10

AUGUST 6th 2021

So i don’t think i mentioned this before but my favourite kids show of all time is
trollhunters,it’s about a guy called jim who discovers an amulet that helps him protect a
society of good trolls who live underground against evil trolls who eat people,it sounds played
out and generic and the first episode admittedly is but after a few episodes it got way better
and became an amazing show with a great story which gets surprisingly dark at times,great
characters and a great setting oh yeah there are also two spin offs,3below and wizards
,3below is about aliens who move to earth because a coup takes place and wizards is about a
wizard travelling back in time to save the world which ended on a cliffhanger which would be
resolved in the rise of the titans movie which released in july,
Also
because i just have to do this,i’ll rank each one of the shows seasons

1. Trollhunters Season 3: 10
2. Trollhunters Season 2: 9.4
3. Trollhunters Season 1b: 8.8
4. Wizards: 8.6
5. Trollhunters Season 1a: 8.4
6. 3below season 2: 7.1
7. 3below season 1: 6.8

And i was hyped for rise of the titans to finally conclude a series i’ve liked since super-late
2018 and up until the final 9 minutes it’s a perfect ending,it still has flaws such as a few bad
jokes and annoying characters but after the opening 20 minutes it was literally perfect and it
concluded every plot point so well and the animation,action and even sound design were as
well done as the plot and as the climax of the film was ending i thought it could not be bad,it
was so well done that i was getting ready to give it a 10/10,
but
There were 9 minutes left,after the incredible but tear jerking climax I didn't know why there
were more minutes the film could have ended there but I thought that those 9 minutes would
be an epilogue. i’d heard murmurs of a bad ending but didn’t pay mind to them,i should’ve
the final 9 minutes was the third most disrespectful ending i’ve seen,so the text in brackets is
all spoilers because i need to explain this ( so this was teased very subtly throughout the
film,but there was a device that a character kept mentioning throughout the film and when
they find it they find out it can reverse time which is especially convenient because a main
character died helping to save the world and so they use it to resurrect that character and
make sure that nothing in the whole franchise ever happened and it just felt cheap that a
series i and many others had been invested in for the past 5 years was just cheaply retconned
basically,flipping the middle finger at the audience,trollhunters is one of my favourite shows
that isn’t an anime and it was a great,well made story with great characters and only minor
flaws that come to mind and while the other 2 shows aren’t as great they were still solid and
entertaining and until the final 9 minutes rise of the titans was an amazing film,but those
final 9 minutes bring down the film from a 9/10 to an 8/10,if i ever watch it again i’ll just turn
it off before the final 9 minutes. It doesn’t ruin the franchise as a whole for me but I'll never
forget how poorly written it was and I don't even consider it canon ), Also earlier I watched a
video about an anime called Kite by the anime man that was surprisingly good,didn’t know
where else to fit this in.

AUGUST 7th 2021

I finished Mars red,an anime about a military squad of vampires trained to kill others of their
kind and it was alright. I loved the aesthetic and a few characters but the story could be a bit
lacking at times,6.8/10.
I also
watched episodes 10 and 11 of doctor who series 2,episode 10,love and monsters is one of the
most divisive episodes of doctor who,pre-whitaker some people love it and unironically say
it's a masterpiece and others hate it with a burning passion where as i think it’s right
in-between,i loved the more emotional and grounded story about a group of friends
Trying to find
The doctor but i hated the goofy villain and tonal dissonance,so i’d just say it’s
mediocre,5.0/10
and
Episode 11,fear her was so awful,so broken and nonsensical that it switched around to being
a comedy even though it still simultaneously sucked at the same time,the plot is about a little
girl who is possessed by an alien and sending people into her drawings,it’s infamous for
being one of the shows worst episodes and while it’s kind of funny at points it’s still not
worth watching,3.2/10

AUGUST 10th 2021

I watched the finale of doctor who series 2 and it was incredible,the story of the torchwood
institute coming together was intriguing and really satisfying,the dalek cult of skaro
comprised of sec,the leader,caan,thay and jast were some of the best daleks in the show,the
dalek and cyberman war was just as good and while it was a bit long at times the pacing was
overall good,my only problem is it sort of relies on you caring about the doctor and rose’s
romance which i obviously did not but overall i’d give it a 9.7.
 AUGUST 11th 2021

I listened to a crap-ton of music from all sorts of bands such as gorillaz,daft punk,whitewoods
and even eyedress since i was starting to like his music in late summer/early autumn and i
found an amazing song by a duo he’s in called the simps called on fye which i listened to like
9 times a day in august,i also found a perfect video called “ 39 daft punk songs mashup “
which incredibly combined and remixed every track from daft punk's first 3 albums.

AUGUST 12th 2021

I watched the second christmas special which the first time i watched i switched it of 10
minutes in because i initially Loathed donna’s character but this time i actually didn’t mind
her,yeah she was annoying as hell but her dynamic with the doctor was just too good even if
she was a complete bitch the whole time,Their dynamic
Is also good enough
To carry the episodes weak plot which is about a giant humanoid spider that wants to destroy
the earth because it formed around her eggs and the episode explains this in a way where you
almost get it but it still makes no sense,but it’s fun enough and it’s confusing plot is still
entertaining and the ending is incredible,7.1/10.

AUGUST 12th 2021

The next doctor who episode i watched were the first one from series 3,smith and
jones,which was great
The plot
,Just like the last episode is ridiculous it’s about rhino police from space called the judoon
sending a hospital to the fucking moon because there is a alien in disguise as an old woman
who drinks peoples blood with a plastic straw and has two servants that look like a ripoff daft
punk,it’s insane but it knows it and takes advantage of it
While not being to stupid
And is grounded by great characters,Martha,the new companion is infinitely better than post
series 1 rose since she’s more independent,charismatic and smart enough to look out for
herself unlike series 2 rose who chains herself to the doctors side on every episode
And speaking of the doctor
He’s great in this episode,david tennant is so slick in this episode and effortlessly glides
through each scene and the doctor himself is great in this episode he’s clearly downbad after
series 2 but is still confident,funny and cunning,their dynamic is also great it’s more of a
teacher/student relationship than the more romantic dynamic between rose and 10,it’s also
just super entertaining
while still having high stakes because the judoon are looking for the old woman to kill her
for war crimes and since they only think that there’s only one non-human in the hospital if
they encounter the doctor they’ll kill him so they need to find the alien vampire in disguise as
an old woman AND avoid the judoon and the pay-off is incredibly satisfying,overall 9.5/10.
Doctor who series 3 episode 2,
The shakespeare code
Is pretty bad,it’s basically about the doctor and martha helping shakespeare fight witches
which sounds school but is just boring,the episode is way to obnoxious,unfunny and just
generally unlikeable,mainly because every character in this episode aside from martha is a
complete cunt,4.2/10.

AUGUST 13th 2021

I watched series 3 episode 3 of doctor who,gridlock and it was amazing,it was basically about
martha and the doctor travelling to earth in the year 5,000,000,000 which is a dystopia where
happy emotions are sold as drugs on the ground and a motorway of flying cars flying cars
stuck in an indefinite traffic jam travelling a few miles a decade above,The doctor takes
martha there only for her to be kidnapped by a couple who need three people to get on the
motorway and kidnapped martha in order to reach that number and the rest of the episode is
about the doctor trying to find her while uncovering the reason why cars are mysteriously
disappearing,
The episode’s plot is fairly basic but the worldbuilding and characters amplify the script
ten-fold and make it super entertaining and the world is probably the best it’s dark it’s grimy
but still has colour and charm and the characters are all really interesting and complex,i’ll
obviously give this a 10/10,one of the best episodes ever basically. I also Found a hentai called
kuroinu which was an interesting experience but the less said about that the better.
 AUGUST 14th 2021

I watched the shcafrillas reviews video on shrek the third

,which everyone agrees is the worst shrek movie and i agree,it’s boring unlike the other three
all the characters are stupid,arseholes and the humour is SO bad,like the jokes about arthur
being a delta male,the characters shiting,pissing and vomiting every where or at the very least
getting covered in it break my will to live,the kings death is one of the worst things i’ve seen
in my life and donkey turns from an annoying yet enduring character to a character so
mind-numbingly retarded that he makes a slab of concrete look like it has an iq of 9000,so
overall it’s a 2/10. I also reversed the daft punk song face to face and it sounded just as perfect

15th AUGUST 2021

I Watched the first part of the doctor who series 3 dalek two-parter which was about the cult
of skaro from series 2 travelling to 1930s earth to rebuild they’re race and it was pretty
average,i liked the setting of 1930s new york and were great in this episode and the doctors
fiery,hatred of the daleks was also very good but everything else felt average,martha felt
almost invisible in this episode even though in every other episode she was anything but
since she was always inquisitive and even challenged the doctor at some points but she was
just blank in this episode and the side characters were either boring or just straight up
annoying,but the idea of the daleks trying to evolve was incredible.

16th AUGUST 2021

But the second part was a lot better,one of dalek sec becoming half human was a great
deconstruction of their ideology though the effects were pretty suspect and the doctor going
against the daleks in this episode was great and the other members of the cult of skaro
starting to see sec as a vile abomination until they end up betraying him was great and the
plan to turn kidnapped new yorkers into half human,half dalek hybrids was confusing but not
detrimentally bad and the ending of most of the cult being defeated was a bit drawn out but
still very good,overall i’d give the first part a 5/10 and this part a 7.6,so i’ll round it up to a 6.5.
I also
Watched the friendly space ninja video on riverdale since i’d seen a few of his videos before
and wanted to know what the fuss was about and after watching the video i know why the
show gets so much attention since it sounds insanely retarded and god-awful.
The last
Thing that happened was me watching hot fuzz and they live one after the other just because
I was bored. Hot fuzz was just as great as ever but they live was very good as well and a great
if over the top metaphor for society.

17th AUGUST 2021

I watched unicorn of war’s video on why he was saying goodbye to rwby and it’s community
and i can see why,i haven’t cared about the show since april after the volume 8 shat the bed so
hard that it had to get it’s guts replaced which got me to realise how inconsistent the show is
and how it only has 2 truely great volumes,i’ll re-rank them to put it into perspective

1. Volume 3: 9.4/10
2. Volume 7: 8.9/10
3. Volume 6: 8.5/10
4. Volume 4: 7.8
5. Volume 2: 7.6
6. Volume 1: 5.0/10
7. Volume 8: 4.0
8. Volume 5: 2.2/10

The fact that ⅝ of the volumes are either passable or flat out bad is disgraceful and the fact
that the shows best volumes are still riddled with flaws is just as if not more shameful and he
basically said the same thing and also addressed how the show queerbates gay viewers with
hints of blake and yang getting together just to get more views and money but it never
actually happening and people still bending over backwards to justify it,however he did say
that he’d still make rwby videos but just be more honest about the show unlike a year or so
ago when he’d just suck the show off every video. I also
watched episode 6 of doctor who series 3,the lazarus experiment which was pretty mid,it’s
just about a scientist making a machine to age him back 60 years which starts of well until he
ends up having to turn into a bad cgi giant scorpion and drain the energy from people and the
doctor having to defeat him,it was just a normal doctor who episode which just felt a bit
bland,6/10

18th AUGUST 2021

I watched a video on why the fourth Harry Potter movie was bad and I agreed it just has such
a bitter vibe and is really boring until he fights voldemort. I also watched 3 episodes of doctor
who series 3,episode 7-9. Episode 7,42 is the first episode of doctor who written by the highly
controversial chris chibnall,it was basically about the doctor and martha trying to save a
spaceship from crashing into a sun and the crew being killed off one by one by some
possessed guy,the idea is fine but the episode has one fatal flaw,
the characters
,the crew of the ship are terrible,the leader is boring and we’re supposed to care that her
husband is possessed and each other member is so poorly written they only have one
character trait like nurse or old man or mechanic,they even introduce one of the characters by
them whining in a way no real person would how much they hate they’re life before they get
killed of 5 seconds later and the plot hinges on us caring about these blank pieces of
cardboard being killed off and the doctor and martha were just as bland,the doctor is boiled
down to a boring action hero and martha is a boring assistant and the will they won’t they
romance with a random guy she’s in an escape pod with is just embarrassingly bad
And the
Reveal of the crew illegally mining the sun they’re going to crash into and it being alive and
possessing some random guy on the ship to get revenge was so stupid,the only good thing
about it is the directing which was amazing,it looks like a high budget action movie and the
colour palette being drenched in oppressive,grungy oranges and browns and everyone being
riddled with sweat and honestly looking pretty clapped makes the atmosphere feel believable
but it still doesn’t save the episode,4.0/10.
However
The human nature/Family of blood was next level fantastic,it’s about the doctor on the run
from aliens who want to take his power to regenerate to live forever so he changes his dna to
human and travels to 1913,britain as a school teacher called john smith with false memories
and martha also works at the school and still has her memories,the doctor also has a pocket
watch that can change him back. The episode really explores who the doctor is and john
smith is also a great character,he’s a modest and kind man with a fun and goofy
personality,but he’s more reserved and strict unlike the doctor and i like how the episode
doesn’t sanitise 1913,children were beaten at school,people got away with casual sexisism and
racism and war was on the horizon,it was almost as bad as 2020 or 2018 but it doesn't beat
you over the head with it,and the aliens trying to hunt down the doctor and ending up
possessing 4 people,including a maid martha’s friend and all of their performances are
great,they’re so strange and off-putting and the entire school and a confused john smith
fighting against the aliens and they’re army of controlled scarecrows was amazing to watch
and when the doctor comes back and effortlessly stops them it’s so satisfying and his revenge
at the end is almost disturbing like he’s a completely different man, overall i’d give it a 10/10 i
haven’t even scratched the surface of how good this episode is and i’d recommend you watch
it yourself,though you’d probably have to watch the first 2 and a half series.
The last
Episode i watched was blink which you’ve definitely heard of so i’m not really gonna
elaborate but it’s just as good and creepy as you’ve heard and the weeping angels are
amazing,it’s impressive how good this episode is since it doesn’t even have the doctor in
it,overall,10/10.

19th AUGUST 2021

I started watching the second half of so i’m a spider,so what an isekai anime about a girl
being reincarnated as a spider in a fantasy world and it was really entertaining to watch her
slowly level-up and get stronger and aoi yuuki’s voice acting as the mc was one of the best i’ve
ever heard,however i hadn’t watched it since spring. I also watched episode 11 of doctor who
series 3,utopia which was amazing,it’s about the doctor,martha and a returning captain jack
travelling to the end of the universe and that’s as much as i’m going to say because the twist
at the end was one of the greatest of all time and the setting and characters were great and
my only problem was it sagged a bit in the middle,overall,9.6/10.
 20th AUGUST 2021

I was looking for new films releasing in theatres and nothing was really interesting. I mean
dune looked alright but everything else was just a generic big franchise film or just looked
uninspired and dull. I also watched episode 12 of series 3 of doctor who which continued on
the story from episode 11,and it was a great,intriguing political thriller about parliament
being taken over by the doctor’s arch-nemesis,the master,again don’t wanna spoil to much
but i actually slightly prefer this to utopia because the pacing was better,10/10

21st AUGUST 2021

I watched foxakimbo’s NSFW iceberg which was obviously cursed but still entertaining. I also
watched the final episode of doctor who series 3 which was about the world becoming a
dystopian nightmare and martha trying to save it,it was really satisfying and entertaining,and
even if the resolution was a bit disappointing i’d still say it’s great,9.4/10,overall series 3 was
amazing,it got of to an ok if rocky start but when episode 8 hit it skyrockets in quality and is
one of the best runs in the show,9.2/10. The most important thing that happened was me
starting to watch 86,an amazing anime about a race of people with coloured hair called 86
being forced to pilot mechs in a seemingly never ending war.
 22nd AUGUST 2021

I watched the 3rd doctor who christmas special,voyage of the damned,with an insane plot
about a spaceship modelled after the titanic and about to crash into earth,however it drags on
for too long and the side characters are pretty bland,5.1/10

23rd AUGUST 2021

I watched a video about why nostalgia is bad by some guy called salari and it was mostly good
though it did feel like a whiny leftist ranting about nothing at times. I also watched the first
episode of series 4 of doctor who which was very good,it was about the doctor re-uniting with
donna and them both investigating a suspicious weight loss company,the plot is solid but
what really makes the episode good is the dynamic between the doctor and donna which was
really funny but wholesome at the same time,8.5/10

24th AUGUST 2021

I watched episodes 2 & 3 of doctor who series 4,Episode 2 is about the doctor and donna
travelling back in time to pompeii and end up in a moral dilemma when it turns out it’s the
day mount vesuvius erupts and said dilemma and the great side characters carry this episode
from a normal historical to a genuinely interesting and emotional story that really makes you
think,9.4/10
And episode 3,Planet of the ood was also brilliant,it was a sombre and sobering story of the
doctor and donna trying to free a race of slaves called the ood,which highlights how slavery is
still a big part of the world,9.1/10/

25th AUGUST 2021

This was one of the most important days of the year as my marathon of evangelion came to a
close with me watching the end of the whole series,evangelion 3.0 + 1.0: thrice upon a time
which was damn near a masterpiece,the movies plot while confusing was still really
emotional and compelling,the main cast ( excluding mari ) were great and it ended the series
in the most satisfying way possible and while i do have a few criticism’s like how mari still
doesn’t have a proper place in the narrative and how the fanservice was a bit distracting,but
at the end of the day i don’t care about minor issues if the full product is as fantastic as this
movie,9.7/10,thank you anno ( i won’t pirate next time ).
I also watched the sontaran 2-parter of doctor who as well as episodes 6 and 7,the sontaran
2-parter was pretty dumb but really entertaining,it’s basically about baked potato looking
aliens called sontarans trying to take over earth by filling the sky with toxic gas and the
doctor,donna and a returning martha trying to stop them,the way it’s executed is really
entertaining and doesn’t lose my attention for a second,8.6/10,Episode 6 was about the
doctor,donna and martha
Travelling to a planet being ravaged by civil war and the doctor having a clone of himself
made

AUGUST 26th 2021

I watched more of doctor who series 4 but i’ve decided to only mention it when it’s an
important episode,like midnight which was absolutely horrifying but a great paranoid bottle
episode,10/10.

27th AUGUST 2021

I unfortunately found out about nostalgia critics the wall which is the most disturbing thing
i’ve ever heard of,i couldn’t even stomach a minute of it because it was so god-awful,like
castration by a chainsaw,like lemon juice and salt being crushed into your eyes and if you
forced me to do the run the gauntlet challenge it wouldn’t even be comparable to the trauma
of me seeing those 60 seconds.

28th AUGUST 2021

I Found a song in my recommended,family ties by baby keem and featuring kendrick lamar
and because of that feature i listened to it,i mean i’d gotten into kendrick lamar in 2019 when
mum played swimming pools and was so intrigued by the song that i got into his music but
after the black panther album dropped in 2018 he basically dropped of the face of the earth
for three years and since i saw that he was a feature i instantly clicked on the song and it was
incredible,i didn’t know who baby keem was but he’s kendrick lamar’s younger cousin and he
was great on the track and
While his voice is very high-pitched he just exudes such charm and flows so well on the beat
and his lyrics and word play are on par with kendrick,speaking of kendrick as soon as i heard
him mutter “ smokin'' on top five’s. “
i knew he was out for blood,every single line in this song is pure genius and you can feel his
bravado and confidence saying that he’ll kill the careers and popularity of the biggest rappers
alive like he did in 2013 and it got me really excited for what would happen next. Also when i
told mum about the song she listened to it and range brothers ( which is also brilliant and
extremely funny ) as well as reactions to them it got really annoying.

29th AUGUST 2021

I watched the last three 2009 doctor who specials which were excellent character pieces
exploring the 10th doctor's ego and life. It was one of the best things the show has ever done
and I have to give it a ten,in fact series 4 was utterly brilliant and probably my favourite
series,10/10. Also eleventh hour was fantastic but everyone already knows that,i liked the
tense atmosphere of the doctor trying to save the earth in 20 minutes,though amy was a
bitch,9.3/10

30th AUGUST 2021

While I was listening to an auto-generated playlist and listening to songs I'd heard dozens of
times before,a certain song called mr. kill myself and i urge you,go and listen to this song
RIGHT NOW,it’s in my top 10 songs of all time it’s that incredible it’s so good,it has a cold
but emotional vibe and when the beat fully came in i knew there was no going back,it actually
got me into sewerslvts music.
I also found out about a band called Bull of Heaven which has made some of the longest
albums of all time,their longest being 310 which is 3.343 quintillion years which is
approximately 4 years shorter than it will take for them to give me a school space.

31st AUGUST 2021

It dawned on me that summer had ended quicker than i expected it to,it had been 2 months
since i’d been able to go outside and 3 since i’d had proper social interaction,loads of people
probably really enjoyed this summer,i’d say i thought august was ok but the rest of summer
was so bland and tedious and wasn’t even comparable to how much greater my life was in
february-may when my life was actually improving,when it seemed like i was actually going
somewhere good but even though i moved back to canterbury something i’d wanted,no
needed to do
I’m more confused now than I was in the refuge or tonbridge and with the whole school
situation I have no friends,nobody to talk to or rely on and I don't know how long it will stay
like that.

1st SEPTEMBER 2021

Me and mum had an argument about her taking my laptop at night,i didn’t like it because i
don’t stay awake to use it and only keep it on to listen to a playlist since i struggle to sleep
without it,i’m also too old for that but mum disagreed so we argued until she agreed to let me
have it only to listen to the playlist.
I also found out about the whole noel clarke situation since he played a character in doctor
who and it’s disgusting,he basically sexually harrassed and blackmailed up to 20 women on
the sets of kidulthood and doctor who,no actors on doctor who were but that still doesn’t
change how horrible what he did was.

2nd SEPTEMBER 2021

Because I'd heard about how weird and brutal their music was, I listened to a few random
death grips songs and indeed their music is weird and brutal,I don't really have anything else
to say.

3rd SEPTEMBER 2021

I heard that netflix was remaking cowboy bebop which just made me sigh,I don’t know why
these big studios keep trying to make live action anime adaptations,they’re all terribly
written,shitty looking,disrespectful wastes of time and money,speaking of money these
companies only care about money so why the hell do they keep making these,they
under-perform disgustingly,i just hate these so much they’re embarrassing.
I also
Got some new headphones which were great,I haven't mentioned this before but I actually
had to borrow mum’s wireless earphones which she barely used. They were ok but I wanted
something of my own and I finally got them.

4th SEPTEMBER 2021

I heard that drake dropped a new album called certified lover boy,now i don’t listen to drake
because i’m not a pussy but i was morbidly curious as to how bad it would be,so i listened to
the brad taste in music reaction video because there is no way in hell i’m listening to a 1 hour
and 26 minute long drake album and it sounded awful,the first song is the only fully good one
and while i really like the beat on tsu
And meme level lyrics like “ i used to climb at the top of the pole and niggas were sliddin
down “ and how the whole song is about drake taking advantage of a homeless stripper ruin it
for me,and every other track,the 19 other tracks are either bland beats with drake singing
about simping for women,normal post 2015 drake but most songs were worse than i could
possibly imagine and everything wrong with modern music
The lyrics are baby shark tier and the beats are dryer than than the sahara desert,it’s
embarrassing to listen to drake whining and acting like a man child unaware of how
unlikable he is
,it’s pathetic to hear drake desperately try to be relevant with trash like girls want girls and
way 2 sexy,the best thing i can compare it to is the emoji movie,a vapid,self-masturbatory
project unaware of how sickeningly bad it is,but this album has taught me that if you get rich
enough,successful enough and sell out enough you can make some of the shittiest products
possible and it will still sell 10x more than anything good and original,i realised that when i
saw that 9 out of 10 of the billboard top 10 spots were occupied by songs from this atrocity of
an album,dear god.
I also found a few videos by Cheyenne Lin who makes some good point’s but just comes off
like an SJW who hates men.
the last thing that happened was i slowlyfound out about how toxic the doctor who fanbase is
from how hateful,bigoted and loud some fans like bowlestrek,nerdrotic and heelsvsbabyface
are,how you’ll basically be crucified if you have any opinion on the show and how the fanbase
has basically been in a civil war between obbsesssed 13th doctor fans and Notmydoctor’s who
border on being neo-nazi’s alot of the time,It’s a god awful place that just gets sicker and
sicker every day,like a kind of monstrous cancer while they completely forget that the show
teaches of kindness and acceptance,it’s disgusting.
But a more positive thing is that i started getting into harbo wholmes’s channel around this
time,he’s a great whotuber,who’s very entertaining,unique and is currently reviewing all of
nu-who ( series 1-13/2005-present ).

5th SEPTEMBER 2021

I watched the NSFL media iceberg by internet investigator which started of boring but got a
lot more interesting as it went along,though i found out about some stuff so bad i’m not even
morbidly curious about it but that's what i get by watching an iceberg video literally marked
Not Safe For Life.

6th SEPTEMBER 2021

I watched doctor who series 5,episode 10,vincent and the doctor which is the only piece of
media i’ve seen that made me genuinely cry because it was so well written and emotional and
delves deep into the mind of vincent van gogh and deals with his mental health in the best
and most respectful way i’ve ever seen in media,i can’t recommend it enough,10/10,one of the
best episodes of all time.

9th SEPTEMBER 2021

I started getting interested in watching torchwood since i’d heard people talk about it,how it
was a more mature spin-off of doctor who and how season 1 was pretty mid but seasons 2 & 3
were amazing and how season 4 is so bad it destroyed the show and some episodes sound
retarded and overly edgy but some sounded incredible and i got pretty hyped to watch it i just
didn’t know when.
Also for some reason a japanese album called gensou by a band called lamp,i only heard a few
tracks but it was really good,it sounded very calming,like tea on a rainy afternoon.

10th SEPTEMBER 2021

I watched a video by a great youtuber called the confused adipose called “ chris chibnall isn’t
killing doctor who,the fans are “ which perfectly explains how the fanbase devolved into the
steaming pile of horseshit it is now.
I also got into Harry's moving media’s channel through his review of the first doctor who
episode with James Corden in it.

11th SEPTEMBER 2021/9/11

I listened to the daft punk song giorgio by moroder which i hadn’t heard in months and loved
it,i loved it,it was a great tribute to a musician called giovanni giorgio that was constantly
exculating,getting more and more complex like a spider web until the song explodes into a
climactic and euphoric finale,the song is so amazing that the song makes 8 minutes feel like 3
minutes.
I also tried to build a city in minecraft but was very confused as to how to start. The last thing
i’ll mention is i watched like 4 Doctor Who episodes in one day.

12th SEPTEMBER 2021

I found a youtube channel called earrage which has the loudest earrape i have ever heard on
youtube.

14th SEPTEMBER 2021

I found out about how nasa had a website where you can actually look at 3d scans of
exoplanets. I spent hours there in september-october.

15th SEPTEMBER 2021

I watched a doctor who episode so atrocious,so god-awful that it literally taught me how not
to write,asylum of the daleks is a broken episode which has a plot that starts of fine but
devolves into insufferable dogshit,speaking of insufferable,the characters were abysmal in
this episode,the doctor devolved into a retarded man-child,oswin was overly annoying and
makes me overly familiar with steven moffat’s taste in woman,and worst of all,amy’s character
was an unlikable
And bitchy in series 5,but she was honestly pretty great in series 6 but in this one episode we
see her character get obliterated with her verbally abusing and even smacking rory,after this
episode i never saw her the same again,there is so much wrong with this episode that it
would take too long to describe it but i assure you it’s god-awful,2.9/10

16th SEPTEMBER 2021

I found out that nicki minaj said that covid vaccine caused someone she knew to get swollen
balls but even if your tripping so hard you ascended to the 5th dimension you’ll still have the
common sense to not trust a word nicki minaj says and if you do your way beyond getting
help.

18th-20th SEPTEMBER 2021

Me and mum had an argument over her taking the lock of off my door and it got to the point
where she threw my laptop and headphones and i locked myself in my room with my
wardrobe for a few days and took them back,it sounds stupid in retrospect but this felt
serious at the time probably because nothing else was really going on,but eventually it blew
over,we apologised and it became irrelevant.

22nd SEPTEMBER 2021

I listened to weird arse song called windowlicker,by aphex twin the closest thing i can say it
sounds like is a techno remix of bad porn music but even that’s only about 60% accurate

23rd SEPTEMBER 2021

I watched a mock iceberg video about the 9 + 10 = 21 meme.

24th SEPTEMBER 2021

I watched a video by the guardian that was a simulation of an autistic person’s experience at a
party and while some parts were good I felt like most of it was like how a bad writer thinks
autistic people act.
I also got heavily into a song called 50//50 by vantage which was a brilliant vaporwave song
with a very positive vibe to it.

25th SEPTEMBER 2021

News came out that the next showrunner for doctor who was none other than Russel T
Davies himself ,the news was very surprising and reassuring,he is my favourite writer for
doctor who and i know for a fact he’s gonna give us something unique after this admittingly
disappointing era.

26th SEPTEMBER 2021

I got into the rpg mongers fandom files series and i also finished 86 which proved to be an
amazing rollercoaster leading to a satisfying cliffhanger that got me hyped for part 2.

27th SEPTEMBER 2021

I watched a video called “ The artist formerly known as digibro: a fans retrospective “ which
was good but quite pretentious.
More importantly i decided to binge an anime from 1988 called gunbuster since it was made
by hideaki anno and i’d heard really good things about it,but nothing could have prepared me
for how amazing it would prove to be,the story was tightly written,i loved every character,the
fights were great and it just got better and better as it went along,it’s really fun but the story
gets serious and that ending is in my top 6 in all of anime and it does all of this in just 6
episodes,9.5/10.

28th SEPTEMBER 2021

I found a youtuber called kaiserbeams who reviews old anime and i got heavily into his
channel around this time.

29th SEPTEMBER 2021

I watched the first episode of diebuster,the sequel to gunbuster and i absolutely loathed it,it
was agonising to watch,all of the characters were dumb especially the main one who’s
anoying shrill voice made me want to blow my head off,the story was bland and the fanservice
ruined my enjoyment of the show every 5 seconds,while gunbuster definitely had lots of
fanservice it was always at the right time and didn’t hinder the story whereas diebuster
practically relies on it to hide how piss poor the episode is,it was awful,3/10.
Also
Harbo wholmes finally started reviewing series 5.

31st SEPTEMBER 2021

I started making earrape of tracks from certified lover boy since it was so bad,so bad in fact
that the earrape actually made it better

1st OCTOBER 2021

Goose boose a youtuber i love and have been watching since 2019 started traumathon 3,now
if you don’t know every year since 2019 on october he starts his annual traumathon series
which is him looking at scary media that people find nostalgic it’s media from the 80s,90s,00s
and sometimes things i saw when i was younger like creepy pasta’s.

3rd OCTOBER 2021

While i was watching tv Mum knocked on my door to tell me that she had bad news i feared
that we had to move to another refuge again but it turned out that her aunt mita had died
after having a heart attack,I only met her once at the street party in february 2020 but she
seemed like a very nice person and i feel bad that she passed away despite me only talking to
her for a brief amount of time,Rest in peace.

4th OCTOBER 2021

I started watching the second part of mushoku tensei season one and it was magnificent,the
characters were so much better,the world and story got more and more rich and the
animation was so good,it was even better than i thought it would be,10/10.

6th OCTOBER 2021

I watched heaven sent,the penultimate episode of doctor who series 9 which rivals vincent
and the doctor in terms of quality and just like that episode it excellently deals with grief and
depression,it’s like a creative window into the doctor’s mind as he tries to get out of this
strange,twisted castle he’s found himself in and capaldi caries this episode since he’s basically
the only actor in it and that ending scene is one of my favourite scenes in all of media,10/10.

7th OCTOBER 2021

I watched videos about how shitty voltron season 8 was because 2 years later i’m still
traumatised. I also got into the britmonkey’s youtube channel through his i love you bridge
video.

8th OCTOBER 2021

I was feeling incredibly depressed,since august i just felt lost like even though i finally moved
to a good area i still had no friends and my life just got more and more boring and
pointless,just wasting away in my room waiting for something good to happen,so i looked up
painless suicide methods for quite a while but that just made me feel bad because i want to
kill myself because i know my life is getting worse and there is nothing i can do about it and i
just wanted to end the suffering and die but all of the methods were either not in reach or too
painful,if i had a cyanide capsule or a canister of carbon monoide i would already be dead but
i don’t so i have to keep suffering and watch my life go downhill,since while now it wasn’t
that bad at the time i knew damn sure it would get worse from there.

9th OCTOBER 2021

I realised tt whenever i went on netflix it only showed originals,which are like 90% shit,i had
no vpn,Multiple people were allowed to use it at once and the internet was working so i still
don’t know why it did that,i thankfully have never had that problem again.
I also saw that doctor who only had one month left on iplayer,but I was on series 10 at the
time so I wasn't that worried but I was still concerned.
The
Last thing i’ll mention is that i found a song called bear by the antlers which was really good
but quite sad sounding.
 10th OCTOBER 2021

I got involved in the squid game hype,i basically only knew that it was getting big,like
stranger things and early game of thrones big and so i just but the first episode on and was
blown away by it,the plot of the show had been done before but squid game added something
new,the characters were all great and the tension weighed on me,it was incredible and i can
see why it was absolutely inescapable.

13th OCTOBER 2021

After 9 and a half months since it was announced the BBC finally started marketing series 13
with projections of sontaran ships over Liverpool and even deleting the shows official
accounts, getting people really confused and dropping the release date which was Halloween
which I predicted.

14th OCTOBER 2021

I found out about a youtube rabbit hole where you type in a bunch of gibberish into the
search bar and cursed and disturbing things would show up,at best it would be shitposts with
thumbnails that would make you think it’s a gore video,than you click on it and you're
immediately rick rolled or at worse it will be real very disturbing shock and gore videos but i
couldn’t find any,while searching it up i actually found out about meat canyon through this
since someone reuploaded his peppa pig video with this format which i thought was
incredible.

15th OCTOBER 2021

After about 20 months i went to nannies house and it was ok,me and ronny just talked like we
normally did but there was a strange difference in his behaviour,he was more unhinged about
what he talked about and in about 75% of our conversations he’d find a way to interject how
much he hated the lgbt community and especially trans people,he’d go on and on about
things like him seeing a muscular man in high heels walking with a man twice his age and
how they were on tv and even that if he saw someone acting really effeminate and gay he’d
beat the shit out of them
Now Before now he was still not the most accepting when it came to gay or trans people and
he even said the maggot word but he also genuinely didn’t hate them,he was more confused if
anything and never talked about harming them,now i’m absolutely not saying that it’s ok that
he said that stuff in the past but it can be explained as old age and trying to understand
something he’d been tought was a sin for all of his life,still not okay but explainable
However
This just disturbed me,seeing someone i knew and loved become extremely hateful and
talking about actively harming trans people,he talked about his hatred for lgbt people and the
way he talked about it he wanted me to agree with him,even though he said that he was less
strict on gays and lesbians since he grew up around them in the 70s and 80s but it was still
clear that he had a low opinion on them and didn’t want them to have rights,And i think i
know exactly how this happened. Ever since 2018 he’s slowly but surely become a hardcore
israelite,not a jewish israelite,a black hebrew israelite,they’re usually very extreme
Try to radicalise
Normal people,quite a few hate white people though ronny doesn’t and especially gays and i
feel that he’s been radicalised to feel this way and he’s also been trying to get me into it alot
more and the fact that he’s a schizophrenic man,with very outdated beliefs who is literally
being radicalised by a religion that would look like a cult to a normal person is one of the
worst combinations you can get and i’m afraid he might end up doing something he’ll
regret,after this i’ve tried to keep my distance even though i just nodded along whenever he
said that kind of stuff,overall i was pretty disturbed afterwards and am just very confused
about what happened to him in only 22 months.

16th OCTOBER 2021

So since aunty mita died,family started trying to get back in touch with mum,including my
aunt pam who was nice at first but kept spamming her phone with conspiracy theories about
the vaccine and big pharma as well as saying really disgusting things about her own sister
like saying they should “ dash her body at the back of the yard “. mum told me about this alot
in october because she was confused whether to block her or not since she took her in as a
child when she left her home
Because nanny and ronny were constantly arguing when she was only 9 and share’s grateful
for that but didn’t appreciate how she was acting.

17th OCTOBER 2021

I found out about the whole dave chappelle transphobia controversy and i just didn’t
care,while i did think the statements he made were pretty bad i just don’t care about
controversies like this,since most celebrities are transphobic and the topic just gets
regurgitated around the internet for a few weeks and it gets really tiring,really quick,i also
don’t like how the media and certain people are framing this,like some kind of fucked up war
between black and transgender people when we can,no,we should be working together,people
obviously should speak out against this stuff but i’m just against how these situations are
handled and how people focus on the problem instead of the solution.

19th OCTOBER 2021

For some reason the radiohead song myxomatosis got in my recommended tab and it was
very good but very ominous.

20th OCTOBER 2021

Through his mushoku tensei reviews i found a youtuber called phenomsage who reviews
anime in a more laid back manor than other anitubers.

21st OCTOBER 2021

I started watching bakemonogatari because i’d heard great things about it,i expected a dumb
fanservice show with unlikable characters and creepy undertones but what i got was a very
wholmesome supernatural comedy with very likeable characters and a romance that is
actually not insufferable,it’s a fun comedy-drama about some guy excorsing curses on girls.

22nd OCTOBER 2021

I listened to the song money by the drums which was amazing,it was depressing but energetic
at the same time which,as emo and gay as what i’m about to say is,captured a slight amount of
how i felt in october.

23rd OCTOBER 2021

Another great song I listened to was window eyes by eyedress and fazerdaze,it was a calm but
melancholy song that brings me back to April and makes me want to see my life get better
but I know that it’s unlikely.

24th OCTOBER 2021

The last great songs i’ll mention are not allowed by tv girl and be a better friend by
eyedress,not allowed was a kind of sad song but it’s pretty chill and upbeat at the same
time,it’s a nostalgic,sombre electronic song and the last 20 seconds were perfect,and be a
better friend is unironically one of the greatest songs i’ve ever heard in my life,it’s really
emotional and nostalgic and the bass is unreal,you know how i said money partially captures
how i feel about 2021,well be a better friend Is how it parts of it sound happy but there's
something stopping you from enjoying it 100% and that’s exactly how i felt after may 26th and
even parts of january-may,it’s a masterpiece and one of the most relatable songs i’ve heard in
my life,10/10.

25th OCTOBER 2021

After only a month my new headphones stopped working properly,one worked as normal but
the other one didn’t work unless it was in a certain position. Also mum signed me out of
netflix because she was worried about me finding adult shows on there which is complete
nonsense because what’s really the worst thing you can find on netflix,i’ve seen stuff way
worse on youtube and that’s just one part of the internet,if anything netflix is probably the
safest place i could be on.

27th OCTOBER 2021

After 4 months and 17 days ( a.k.a 139 days ) i finally finished watching series 1-12 of doctor
who,i haven’t really talked about it since series 4 but i had been watching it and the journey
was crazy,it was incredible,funny,dark,awful at times,emotional and really kept me busy this
year,if i were to re-rank the series from worst to best in descending order i’d say

12. Series 7: 2.1

11. Series 11: 4.5
10. Series 12: 5.0
9. Series 8: 6.0
8. Series 2: 7.5
7. Series 6: .8.7
6. Series 3: 9.2
5. Series 5: 9.4
4. Series 9: 9.8
3. Series 1: 10
2. Series 10: 10
1. Series 4: 10

And even with this era being pretty mid i can still say that every series feels like a unique and
complete package,even with terrible episodes and even series i’d still say the show is great
because the great far outweighs the bad,9.8/10/

28th OCTOBER 2021

I remembered an anime youtuber i watched in around late 2020 to really early 2021 called
nineouh but i couldn't find any of his videos despite his channel still being up,i think he
either deleted or privated his videos but his thumbnail implies that he's gonna come back so i
really don’t know what’s going on.

29th OCTOBER

After 3 months of thinking he either quit youtube or died pyrocynical finally returned with a
video called “ Why i left “ which did exactly what it said and explained why he left us dry for 3
months,it was because he finished making a massive video but youtube and channel 4 were
copyright blocking him,keeping the video from being seen even though he already uploaded
it,he said that he’d already solved some copyright disputes and that it would come out
relatively soon which had me worried but really hyped,while i enjoy his commentary
videos,his long form video essay’s are incredible.
I also
Finished squid game and i’d still say the show was very good but it ran out of steam after
episode 7 but it was still very fun being a part of this worldwide excitement since the show
took over the world in late 2021 and i think it ultimately deserved it,but if they do pump out
like 5 more seasons it’s they’re all gonna be trash,it just doesn’t need anymore unless they
follow different characters.
 30th OCTOBER

After weeks of aunty pams bullshit mum finally decided to cut her off and block her as well as
leaving her leaving a pretty calm voicemail explaining her decision and like one minute later
sent her a voicemail saying that she’s entitled and ungrateful for not wanting to have
conspiracy theories and gossip being shoved down her throat and taking up unnecessary
space on her phone,she also bible thumped a lot and used god as an excuse to be awful,for
example her daughter aunty renee ( who is also one of my favourite aunts even though i
haven’t seen them since 2017 ) is a witch now,not a satanic one but a spiritual one and she
said she didn’t
Want one in her house but she still snuck one into her house,she also did a bunch of other
horrible,even irredeemable things like kicking a family member in the stomach while she was
heavily pregnant and that was in the 80s or 90s so she was a cunt back then as well. This also
started a trend of me realising how fucked up my family is but i’ll get back to that soon.

31st OCTOBER/HALLOWEEN

It was halloween and i was very excited,halloween has to be my favourite holiday out of all of
the big ones the atmosphere is creepy but fun,and nobody feels like everything has to be
prepared and flawless like christmas and you get to eat diabetic amounts of sweets,watch
horror films and wear costumes,also series 13 was premiering and it looked intriguing and it
was okay but very confusing,however the doctor was a lot better than she was in series 11 and
12 and i liked dan’s character and the idea of the flux,this unknown entity that destroys
anything it touches is really interesting,6.9/10.
Everything else that happened
Was very good,I ate quite a bit of sweets though I admittedly had quite a lot when mum first
got them a few days earlier and I just had fun watching youtube,eating sweets and watching
the series 13 premiere,I even watched the first episode of torchwood which was very
good,though episode 2 was pretty shit. The last thing I'll mention is goose boose finished his
traumathon series by dropping like 6 videos back to back. It was insane and they were all
fantastic,especially since he had covid while making it.

1st NOVEMBER
I listened to the nirvana song “ gallons of rubbing alcohol flowing through the strip “ which i
thought was pretty trash when i first heard it but i realised it was a masterpiece and one of
their best songs,it’s really disturbing and off-key but that’s what makes it so good and the
lyrics are so good.
I also started getting frustrated with 86 part 2 which i was watching for a few weeks since the
story and new setting were great but there was one character called frederica who was
absolutely fucking insufferable,she was a loud,spoiled,screeching piece of shit who absolutely
nuked my enjoyment of the show,due to her voice sounding like a feedback loop of a man
screaming in agony into a megaphone after getting his nutsack getting cut up by a chainsaw
and just being such an unlikable bitch who whines when she doesn’t get exactly what she
wants,everytime the show was doing something really good,she appeared on screen and made
me beg for her to be killed off,i don’t understand how somebody that vile could only be like 7
years old.

2nd NOVEMBER

Something very weird happened,BBC iplayer deleted all of doctor who excepted for series 12
and the first series 13 episode but almost immediately after it added them back so i guess that
just happens when doctor who expires on iplayer.

3rd NOVEMBER

I realised just how bad a critic harry’s moving media was,while i said earlier that i liked his
videos i soon came to realise that he had a clear bias towards RTD compared to how he
reviews everything else and i’m not saying that if you just dislike everything after 2009 your
biassed but what i’m saying is that he’d give RTD stories a fair shot but give moffat stories
low scores for stupid,nit-picky reasons.

5th NOVEMBER/BONFIRE NIGHT

After like 5 years pyrocynical returned with his video “ The best ( and worst ) show you’ve
never seen “ and it was the best video of 2021,hands down,it’s a 7 and a half hour masterpiece
with the first 5 and half being about why he loves the 2013 channel 4,conspiracy thriller
utopia with a plot so complex i can’t even begin to get into it and why he hates the god-awful
american remake,just go and watch it now it’s so good,even if you don’t have time just watch
it in chunks.

6th NOVEMBER

There was an incredible meme going viral in the doctor who community called evil dan were
people edit the very kind character of dan doing evil things like breaking into houses,murder
and stealing it was just extremely funny,also a comment i made on evil goats evil dan theme
video has like 70 something likes.
Also the high guardian spice “ anime “ came out and everyone was mad,if you don’t know the
“ trailer “ came out in the worst year of all time,2018 and instead of talking about the show
they just talked about how diverse the show and cast was,i have no problem with diverse
shows i just hate when sjw types rely on diversity to come of as socially aware and to deflect
criticism by calling people who have valid criticism’s bigoted and when it came out it was
worse than we could possibly imagine with lazy writing,abysmal animation,staff members
who literally advocated male genocide and a 1.2 on imdb.

7th NOVEMBER

I started watching an anime called Kyousougiga which I only watched because the poster
looked cool and it was weird but interesting and enduring. It was a very japanese take on an
old style fantasy story,and the prequel episode was just a very fun action scene.
Also episode 2 of series 13 came out and it was actually very good,the crimean war setting
was interesting, the villains were great and so were the characters surprisingly and it shows
how this era can be very enjoyable when the writers actually apply themselves,8.5/10.

9th NOVEMBER

I watched episode 4 of platinum end and it was pretty mid compared to the first 3 episodes,it
was just really boring and too focused on trying to shock its audience,now the first 3 were
very edgy as well but it still had the writing to back it up,were as this one was just lazy and
bland and it’s cheap shock value made me laugh.

10th NOVEMBER
I started watching one punch man which was very hype,very funny and honestly had great
characters and societal commentary.

12th NOVEMBER

I watched a trans man's review of high guardian spice and it was honestly really insightful
seeing his opinion on a show that deals with the subject of a certain character saying they’re
trans very poorly,it was also just pretty funny and well made. I'd highly recommend it.
I also started heavily bingeing torchwood series 2 to get to children of earth as soon as
humanly possible,and it was fantastic,it was less edgy,more well written and the gritty but fun
vibe was great.

13th NOVEMBER

I binge watched all of torchwood children of earth since I heard it was amazing and it was
way better than that,the plot is basically about all of the earth’s children stopping only to
repeat “ we. are. Coming “ and the government conspiracy to bring down torchwood's
remaining members,it was intriguing,action-packed,funny at times,brutally emotional and
devastatingly dark even for the shows standards,it pulls no punches but doesn’t feel cheap
and by the end i was speechless and didn’t know what to do afterwards,it’s like a 5 hour long
movie that starts of dark with a glimmer of hope,only to repeatedly crush your soul for the
next 1.5,even with me knowing some minor things like the main villains motivation my jaw
was still on the floor watching this and it also explores how the vile the
government,especially in britain can be,stamping on its own citizen’s to save their arse’s,and
it is the most emotional thing i’ve seen in a while,you don’t even need to have watched the
previous 2 series to enjoy it,it’s in my top 3 doctor who stories and even though it had me
broken by the end i still love it with every fibre of my being,10/10.

15th NOVEMBER

I started watching soul eater anime i’ve been interested in since 2020 and it was a very unique
halloween themed shonen that despite being made 2008 has aged relatively well,it has
fantastic characters,hype fights and a very good vibe and story.

20th NOVEMBER
I had gotten back into young Don the sauce god’s channel since his videos are much better
now and I'm interested in how his channel will evolve now that he has a wife and a baby on
the way.
I also found out about the whole karen movie controversy and the film it just looks like a
dumb lifetime/channel 5 thriller but i just don’t give an atom of shit about movie
controversies anymore since people lose their minds over it for like 4 hours and act like it’s
world war 3 and then they immediatly forget about it.

21st NOVEMBER

Ocean came back from nursery with a really bad cold,it didn’t look like covid but it was still
extremely bad she was essentially asleep for days when she’s always very energetic she would
just be asleep 24/7 and only woke up to drink the water mum brung upstairs,she wouldn’t
even eat her food and she also had diarrhoea.

22nd + 23rd NOVEMBER

I ended up catching the cold and it was agonising. It started with me getting a pounding
headache which hurt like hell but I was still able to get on with my life,but then my nose got
blocked and my throat started to feel dry and inflamed and I had to spend most of the 23rd in
bed,aching,not able to eat anything and no matter how much water i drank my throat would
still return to the way it felt a few minutes later. Also at one point my stomach started feeling
really bad for no reason like it was being twisted from the inside and I had to take a large
dump,I find that very strange because that’s the only time I had diarrhoea.

24th NOVEMBER

I got slightly better with me having enough

energy to get on with my day and vaporub really helped with my blocked nose,though I hate
how it feels,like burning ice near my nose. My throat also got better with it not feeling like a
gas station fire.

25th NOVEMBER
Mum decided to bring Ocean to the hospital because she wasn’t getting better,it was around
9:00pm,i had to get inside the ambulance as well so i downloaded some videos and music for
the journey and even though it was serious,it still felt sick as hell to listen to machine girl’s
gemini while the ambulance was speeding down the road with white light beaming down on
everybody in the ambulance. When we got into the hospital after around 15 minutes,and it
was a shithole,it looked old and grimy and everyone in the waiting room looked like they
wanted to get out asap,i waited there for about 10 minutes and it was just very awkward since
everyone looked tired and irritable and there was a baby crying,thank god i had my
headphones otherwise i’d had to have heard that dreck for 10 whole minutes.
When they
Finally let ocean go to be checked out mum told me that grandma was coming to pick me up
to go and bring me back to the house to watch me and then i got pretty worried since
grandma is a hypochondriac and might get overly panicked but when she came she was
actually pretty calm. When the cab got there me and grandma had to run through the empty
exit which took like 6 minutes. It was exhausting and I was baffled to find out that she was
running faster than me despite us being 52 years apart.
When we got in the cab I was very exhausted but happy to be out,i was worried about ocean
but i thought things would turn out ok and when i got back i had some ice cream and put in a
pie for grandma,afterwards i talked to her for a bit,mainly about what she thought of different
decades,than i went upstairs to chill until mum and hopefully ocean came back

26th NOVEMBER

Mum and ocean came back at around 8:00 am.The doctors said that she was fine to go back
home because the cold,which turned out to be stomach flu, was starting to go away and they
just gave her some cough medicine.A few hours later grandma left. Overall the 21st-26th of
november were pretty bad but it’s pretty interesting to look back on,3/10.

28th NOVEMBER

I watched episode 5 of series 13 and it was pretty mid,episode 3 was confusing but enjoyable
and episode 4 is the best weeping angels story since 2010 but this one was just lacklustre it
felt like the writers just threw random ideas into the script and it was so confusing that i
could barely follow the plot,3.7/10

29th NOVEMBER
I found out about the aesthetics wiki through foxakimbo’s video on obscure wiki’s and it got
me interested in what my aesthetic was.
Also because youtube is getting more and more pathetic by the day they decided to remove
dislikes,because of “ Targeted harassment “,when creators can just hide dislikes and it's just a
button with a bar bellow it what the hell can that really do to somebody's mental health,by
that logic they should remove comments as well since someone might say something bad
about the creator that’s 10x worse than somebody miles away from the creator clicking a
button. It was such bullshit that I got an extension that lets you see dislikes because I'm not
letting youtube punish me for the actions of 1% of 1% of people.

30th NOVEMBER

I decided to start working out in 2022 to get more attractive since while i’m not obese i still
have dad bod and if i end up going to school that would help me get more popular.

31st NOVEMBER

I found out about the show Arcane through gigguk’s video on it and it sounded like an
entertaining,steampunk,action show,but since I was signed out of netflix. This was also
around the time i got heavily into sewerslvt with me listening to songs like cyberia lyr 1 or
3,pretty cvnt and ecifircas.

1st DECEMBER

It was december and that meant 3 things,stress,mindless shopping and obsessing over
everything having to be perfect for christmas,also i’ve noticed that ever since 2018 fucked up
things would happen at around the 27th-30th december,On the 28th of december 2018,my dad
brought me,mum and ocean to ameena’s house which caused a long argument which still has
effects today,on the 27th december 2019 dad hit me really hard on the head for minor reasons
like not doing the dishes properly even though i was trying my best which caused us to move
to the first refuge,nothing really happened in 2020,like there was a minor argument me and
mum had which was resolved very quickly but that’s not even worth mentioning,but i was still
anxious for the end of the year
I was only really excited about getting present’s since that’s the only thing that Christmas is
good for.
 2nd DECEMBER

I Started watching utopia since even though i watched pyro’s video on the show i was still
very curious as to what i’d think about the show,so i watched all of season 1 and it was very
good,the story was incredible,the soundtrack was perfect and while it was kind of lacking in
the character department it still had some great ones,my only proper complaint is that it
could drag at times but i’d still give it an 8.5/10.

3rd DECEMBER

I watched episode 8 of platinum end which was so god-awful i temporarily dropped the
show,it desperately tried to get me to care about these characters which were getting 20x
worse every episode,the main character was an emasculated,indecisive pussy who whined
about everything and the main villain was so cartoonishly evil i couldn’t pretend to take him
seriously. And everybody else was mind-numbingly boring and because this episode was so
hell bent on trying to get us to care it was laughable,but what wasn’t laughable was how
infuriatingly boring this episode was,when i finished it i thought i was there for days only to
see it had only been 22 minutes.
I also started watching utopia season 2 which was a masterpiece,the plot and characters were
far better and it was able to do so many incredible things in just 6 episodes,it’s an absolute
shame it got cancelled,10/10.

4th DECEMBER

Around this time i’d go on the subreddit r/50/50 where if you clicked a blurry image it would
either show you something nice or disturbing and i clicked on one that would either be street
food or a corpse,i clicked on it because even if it was a corpse i thought it would just be
somebody lying on the ground unconscious but when i clicked on the image it was far
worse,the image was incredibly low-quality to the point where it bordered on static but i
could still make out that it was a man with his brains splattered on a pavement,when i first
saw it the first thought in my mind was fear and disbelief,sort of like “ did i really just see this
“,needless to say i never went on r/50/50 again but in the future i would see much more
shocking things.
 5th DECEMBER

I watched the finale of series 13 and I enjoyed it when it first came out but thinking back on
it,it was way too fast paced and the story made no sense,6/10.

6th DECEMBER

This was around the time i discovered tuv's youtube channel,he talks about relatively morbid
things and unlike over darker youtubers he actually has a personality and is really funny
though gets serious when he needs to be,he’s great and his sub count was doubling by the
day.

7th DECEMBER

So there’s a youtuber i sometimes watch called super eyepatch wolf who made a video where
he mentioned the youtuber hazel and her video called “ why did we like elfen lied “ but i
couldn’t watch it because youtube cockblocked thousands of people from watching the video
by age-restricting it,but thankfully i had an alternate account where i listed the birthday as
july 16th 1997 and i watched the video on it,and at the time i loved it,it was a great
deconstruction of the show,so entertaining that i was invested despite never watching the
show in my life and while i do have criticisms of the video like it being pretty pretentious it
still has a special place in my life.

9th DECEMBER

I got Mum to sign me back into netflix and so i was able to watch arcane which i watched in
about 2 weeks and i’d say the first 2 episodes were just fine,but 3 onwards were all amazing,i
don’t really have much to say about it but just trust me that it’s just as good as people say and
it’s one of the best animated shows ever made,9.5/10

10th DECEMBER

After hearing about the show for like a third of my life i finally decided to watch attack on
titan and season 1 was pretty good,the action and animation were great and the story,while
simple is still very good,and while i liked most of the characters they were pretty
basic,overall,7.9/10.
 11th DECEMBER

While she was outside a while back Mum met someone who had a 15 year old son called
cameron who was autistic and had similar interests as me,and mum arranged for us to meet
at the park,i was still uncomfortable going outside after june but since i knew what was
gonna happen i wasn’t as worried and when we got there it was basically empty aside from
Cameron and his mum,he was wearing a mask,had brown hair and was slightly taller than me
and his mum told me that he was interested in what doctor who was about since he was told
that i was
Into it,but he had only seen it on an episode of Community and I told him about the general
gist of the show,the different series and warned him about the toxic fanbase,to which he told
me that with fanbases the loudest voices are usually the most toxic ones. We also talked about
pokemon and this is the first time in my life i’ve talked about pokemon to somebody and not
had explain every single word that came out of my mouth like a foreign language,i told him
my opinions on the games i’d played which were from gen 5-8 and because i love doing
this,i’ll rank the games from worst to best
7. Pokemon sword: 7.6
6. Pokemon Y: 7.8
5. Pokemon Moon: 8.6
4. Pokemon Black 2: 8.9
3. Pokemon Black: 9.5
2. Pokemon Alpha sapphire: 10
1. Pokemon Ultra moon: 10

He however had played all of the games and said that emerald was his favourite and that he
liked gen 5 but thought it was pretty overrated,he also told me that when he was 5 he went
against the elite four with a team of entirely legendary pokemon and still got his arse beat. He
also said that team yell were literally just twitch users simping for marnie which was a genius
analogy. He also liked anime though we hadn’t really seen the same ones,he had seen some of
evangelion but thought it was boring and he mentioned that kill la kill which i hadn’t seen
was his favourite,i don’t know if it’s for the plot or for the “ plot “.Overall it was a pretty good
day though I'm writing this in june 2022 and I'm yet to have seen him again.

12th DECEMBER
I found out about the whole vic mignogna/monica rial situation and i think it’s disgusting
what’s happened to vic,basically monica rial,an anime voice actor with one of the shittiest
haircuts i’ve ever seen decided to claim that vic mignogna was sexually harassing her which
there is no evidence of but he was still fired and millions still think he did when he and a few
other people absolutely destroyed her claims,it was also stated that he groped fans at
conventions but there is photo evidence showing that those were edited and fans even came
out saying it was bullshit and the dates and times for all of the assaults conflicted with where
vic actually was,and the fact that this man lost his job and reputation for complete fictitious
reasons is disgusting,i stand with vic and hope he finally gets what he deserves and i hope
monica gets fired for basically ruining his life for no reason.

15th DECEMBER

I started watching Adam martyns video on doctor who viewing figures which was very
entertaining and taught me alot about viewing figures,now I'm just waiting for him to get to
the modern series.

16th DECEMBER

Since i’d heard of satoshi kon before,i decided to watch tokyo godfathers since it was on
netflix and it was pretty good,it’s basically about 3 homeless people having to raise a baby
they found in a trash bin and that dynamic was very entertaining to watch and pretty much
carried the film,i also found the christmas setting actually helped the story rather than just
being thrown in there for no reason,overall,8.1/10

17th DECEMBER

I looked up what it’s like to be both blind and deaf because that sounds like the most fucked
thing a person can be born as and it looked just as sad as it sounds.

21st DECEMBER

I took a quiz on that would rank all of the modern episodes of doctor who in the order i’d do
it if i had the time and it was pretty much accurate

22nd DECEMBER
I looked up the history of channel 4 since even though it’s definitely not the greatest thing in
the world it’s still definitely the best British channel since it gives original shows a chance.

25th DECEMBER/CHRISTMAS DAY

It was christmas and i wasn’t that excited for it,i was still interested in what the presents
would be but i was just very tired and bored at this point in time but i still got excited when i
opened them,they were a doctor who quiz book,a jigsaw of my face and a magnetic block set.
They were pretty good aside from the jigsaw,especially the quiz book. I had quite a bit of fun
seeing how many questions I could answer when mum read them out. I haven't really used
any of them since though.
For a while i stayed upstairs re-watching series 9 and 10 of doctor who and watching youtube
until mum made dinner which was a sunday roast with roast lamb,potatoes and yorkshire
puddings,it was pretty nice eating them while watching a 3 hour long video somebody made
about doctor who and why they think it’s the greatest show ever,which i can’t agree with but
it was still a great video. Overall it was an ok christmas but nothing that good really
happened,ever since 2016 i haven’t had a fully good christmas,I swear this is the last time i’ll
rank stuff in my diary but you’ve got to see this,here’s how i’ll rank every single christmas i
can remember.

1. 2015: 10
2. 2014: 10
3. 2015: 10
4. 2013: 8.5
5. 2017: 7.0
6. 2019: 5.0
7. 2020: 3.5
8. 2018: 2.9

26th DECEMBER/BOXING DAY

Because i had nothing else to do and she was interested,at 7:00am Me and mum sat down to
watch the first doctor who christmas special and she loved it,she’d seen a few before but this
was the first one aside from heaven sent that she’d give a 9/10,she thought it was so good that
she wanted me to put on another one so i put on rose which she gave a 7/10 and midnight
which scared the hell out of her. Also later on i said something that had been weighing on my
mind since october,How i felt about the stuff ronnie was saying the last time i went,while
ever since than i asked if i appeared gay to other people after it happened i didn’t say why
But on boxing day
I came clean about how i felt about his statements,how shocked i was by them and how i felt
very different about him afterwards and she actually agreed,i was worried that she’d think i’m
gay or even say something simular and when i told her about him saying he’d literally
physically assault a gay or trans person if that aspect of them was still noticeable she said that
he may have been assaulted as a child by a man which gave him an unjustified hatred of lgbt
people but i doubt it.

DECEMBER 27th

I found out about grape-kun, a penguin who fell in love with a cardboard cutout of an anime
character. Also me and mum watched the first 15 minutes of the eleventh hour.

DECEMBER 28th

Me and mum had a comically hard time watching the eleventh hour. Mum got tired the day
before and then Ocean wanted to fly her kite and then it got stuck on our neighbour’s
washing line,thankfully after that we were able to watch it and mum thought it was ok.

DECEMBER 29th

Because it was being deleted from netflix i decided to watch fullmetal alchemist ( 2003 ),i
actually watched some of brotherhood a while back Mum stopped after episode 4 because it
was sad but i’d already seen like 8 episodes. It was very good and had a unique vibe,the colour
palette was a lot darker than Brotherhood and the main duo were great. I watched about 3
episodes.

DECEMBER 31st/NEW YEARS EVE

The youtuber kross dropped his video on chronicle which was very good but the part i find
most notable is the song he played at the beginning of the video,M83s this bright flash,i
actually disliked the song at first but i love it now because it brings me back to this time. The
video also inspired me to record my life through a camera like a stylish film but it never really
worked out. When the day ended i felt pretty depressed because i had really enjoyed the first
half of the year and august but everything else just felt pretty tedious and november and
december were pretty bad and i had a strong feeling that 2022 would be much worse,I still
enjoyed new years eve but i just felt empty and feared that in the future i’d feel much worse.

EPILOGUE

This was easily one of the most eventful years of my life,i lived in a refuge,had a friend after
2-3 years than finally moved to canterbury which somehow made me a lot more depressed
than being in the refuge,don’t get me wrong i’m so glad i’m here but i just feel so alone
here,like nothing matters and when the year ended i was just bored and tired it feels like
nothing is worth it,like nothing will change even though a lot of positive things
happened,like meeting harley,moving to canterbury,the music i listened to and the anime i
watched and that came out in 2021,Yet everything kind of cooled down after summer and i
just felt very drained but i still value the beginning of the year,i loved it i had a friend,no real
problems and had a lot of fun
Overall I'd give this year a 7.1/10 because at its worst it was more draining than painful and
when it was good it was up there with years like 2014 or 2016. Now I just have to brace myself
for 2022.

2021 YEAR RANKING

1. 2017: 10
2. 2016: 9.8
3. 2015: 9.2
4. 2014: 8.0
5. 2021: 7.1
6. 2013: 7.0
7. 2019: 5.0
8. 2020: 3.5
9. 2018: 1.0

MONTHS RANKED

1. March: 10
 2. April: 10
3. February: 9.2
4. May: 8.0
5. August: 7.6
6. October: 7.3
7. January: 5.7
8. June: 5.4
9. September: 5.1
10. July: 4.9
11. November: 4.0
12. December: 3.9

WORST MOMENTS: May 26th,November-December,March 27th-29th,Mid-July.

BEST MOMENTS: February-May,Friendship with Harley,Doctor who marathon,watching

evangelion,The music i discovered.