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Assignment 9

1. Evaluate the following paragraph by using the Focus Revision Checklist.

There are two main things that I really dislike about myself. First, I am a bashful

person. For example, I am really shy when called on in class or required to speak in front of an

audience. Often, I will even become embarrassed and blush while talking on the phone to a

stranger. I’m also constantly searching for acceptance from my peers. I try very hard to

please my friends, family, boss, and teachers. Sometimes, I will even do things that I don’t

particularly enjoy because I think it pleases others.

Focus Revision Checklist

Checklist Items Answer
Does the paragraph have a topic sentence? If so,
what is it?
What is the main idea of the paragraph? 
Do all the sentences in the paragraph support
the main idea?
How are the sentences in the paragraph
organized? Is this the most effective way to
organize them? Explain why or why not.
Are there any sentences that don’t follow the
organization or that just don’t flow logically?
Give examples and explain what the problem is.

2. Evaluate the following paragraph using the Organization Revision Checklist.

When you move into your first apartment, you will probably find that there are several

things you used at home that you now will need to buy for yourself. In the kitchen, you will

need silverware, dishes, dish towels, pot holders, pots, pans, and other cooking utensils. You

will need towels, a shower curtain, a bath mat, and toiletries in your bathroom. If you plan to

clean your apartment once in a while, you’ll also need cleaning supplies and equipment
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specific to each room. In the bedroom, you are going to need sheets, blankets, and pillows. You

will probably want to have a television set or stereo as well as furniture in your living room.

Organization Revision Checklist

Checklist Items Answer
How are the sentences in the paragraph
organized?
Is this the most effective way to organize them?
Explain why or why not.
Are there any sentences that don’t follow the
organization or that just don’t flow logically?
Give examples and explain what the problem is.