Along with the development and the desire to make money for of many young people,

working part-time has gradually led in popularity. This comes with the question of whether
part-time work jobs should be encouraged, or whether half time work needs to be outlawed.
This essay will explore discuss both views before giving the author’s opinion.
There are two main reasons to incentivize students give students encouragement to do half-
time work jobs. Firstly, doing part-time work helps students make a financial profit.
Working part-time as a student helps them have provides them with a monthly income and
can afford to live on their own, no longer dependent on their family. For instance, when
working part-time, students can cover daily expenses or pay for tuition, relieving the financial
burden imposed on their parents afford to pay for living expenses, and can be part of tuition,
which helps their parents have no worries about financial problems. Furthermore, casual
work enhances students to experience and learn new skills. Starting to work part-time, the
students have to practice their own skills to do multiple things at the same time, laying a
sound foundation for them when they transition to a professional working environment in the
future. In fact, students need to apply for a job, interview, work more, along with ensuring
school work. Not only do undergraduate students schedule college; they also have to manage
their time to work well in their commission.
However, while some countries see considerable benefits of allowing students to work part-
time working part-time, others choose to veto this proposal over part-time jobs. One of the
reasons is that half-time work affects the time and academic performance of many students.
Should the students not know how to balance adjust harmoniously between going to school
and going to work, it is likely that their academic performances will decline distractions,
affecting learning outcomes will be something that will likely happen. Without a plan or
timetable for each specific job, it is difficult for students to complete their studies well in
school. Moreover, getting into casual work doing part-time jobs also affects the health of
students. Many of the extra jobs require a very high intensity of student labor and sometimes
it squeezes out their exertion. Hence, working continuously for a long time, then having to go
to class makes the students in low spirits and sluggish.
In conclusion, while certain things go hand in hand with part-time jobs, I believe that each
individual should decide for themselves what kind of casual work they would like to
undertake as long as they can balance studying and working. unclear

(word: 372) too high try to keep your maximum at 300

Task achievement: 6.0

 Addresses all parts but some parts are more fully covered

 The conclusion is unclear

 Some ideas can be more fully developed

Coherence and Cohesion : 6.0

 Effective cohesive devices
  Cohesion within and between sentences is sometimes mechanical or
faulty

Lexical resource: 7.0

 Sufficient range

 Some less common words

 Some errors in word choice

Grammar range: 7.0

 Variety of complex structures
 Good control of grammar
 Make few errors
Overall: 6.5