SHAADI CANCEL

Written by

Viraf Phiroz Patel

Based on a true incident

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Phone Number
INT. HOTEL ROOM - EVENING

Arun (30) and Virat (32) are sitting opposite each other. Its
the eve of Arun’s wedding. The atmosphere is tense because
Arun has just broken to Virat, his best man, the news that he
and his fiancé have decided to NOT get married. There is a
mobile on the table between them/in front of them along with
a glass which Virat has just gulped in anxiety. Virat’s gaze
is stuck on the phone. Arun is restless but is waiting for
Virat’s reaction. Suddenly, virat looks like he has decided
something goes to pick his phone Arun and dives to stop him.

ARUN
Ruk ja kisse phone kar rahaan hain?

A scuffle continues as Arun is trying to stop Virat

VIRAT
Tere baap ko bhenchod..

ARUN
Abhi mat kar

VIRAT
Kyun, Ab kyun rok rahan hai mujhe?

ARUN
Tune pee rakhee hain .. Kuch bhi
bol dega ..ok sorry ...main faltu
ke excuses bana raha hoon ..Yaar
rukna ..sochne toh de .. Please

Arun succeeds in pushing Virat a safe distance from the

phone. But Virat goes for the phone again, another minor
scuffle continues.

VIRAT
Ab kya sochna hai .. tum dono ko jo
karna hain tum dono ne decide kar
liya na .. saalein tum thode din
pehlein nahin soch saktein thein
..yaar atleast yesterday .. yahaan
sab ko destination wedding pe
bulakein .. Sab ka paisa kharch
karwa ke kyun bhanchod

ARUN
yaar ruk jaa .. flights saari maine
hi karwayi hain .. Airline main
kaam karne ka fayda .. Par kya
fayda ab.. Tu ruk na zara soch
samjhke karne de
 2.

VIRAT
chutiye toone decide Karne se pehle
socha samjha ?!!

ARUN
Yaar mera idea nahin tha .. Uska
tha and i just decided to support

VIRAT
Chutiya hai kya tu .. Usku kaan ke
neechein do chapet de kar samjhata
kyun nahin

Arun pushes Virat harder and glares at him for this offensive
suggestion. Virat realises his mistake but continues

VIRAT (CONT’D)
Arre ghoor kya raha hai .. Usse
samjhata kyon nahin

ARUN
Kya samjhau usse .. Uske ghar main
don don divorce hue hain. Obvioulsy
she is scarred and anxious and she
is getting cold feet yaar and i
want to stand by her at this
moment.

(BEAT)

ARUN (CONT’D)

Bas yaar .. aur tu chilana band

kar. yahaan meri bhi phatti padi
hain .. tujhe kya lagta hai ki
...am the kid throwing a tantrum in
the candy store kya..

VIRAT
Beta candy toh tera baap abhi teri
gaand main dalega

ARUN
chup re .. salein tujhe maine aise
bhaanda phodne nahin bulaya ..
practical ho ke soch na .. paanch
minute ke liye..bas 5 mins

VIRAT

rehne de.. neechein kharcha toh

dekh .. dekh ..5 lakh ka venue .. 5
lakh ka khaanaa ..
(MORE)
 3.

VIRAT (CONT'D)
3 lakh ka decor .. aur kal pherein
aur reception ka 15 lakh ka
kharchaa alag

ARUN
Venue free main mila ..daddy ne
unka liquour license renew karva ke
diya ..par tu Sochne de na yaar …
aur yeh salli kharchein ki excel
sheet maine hi banayi hain ..daddy
ke saath .. Mujhe matt sunna

Arun settles on a chair holding his head

VIRAT
ab sarr pakkad ke kyun baitha hain?

Arun doesnt respond. Virat now tries to calm down has another
swig of the glass

VIRAT (CONT’D)

Ek baat bata ...tum dono ne

actually decide kya kiya hai ..
saath rehna hai ya nahin.. shadi
cancel.. Aur kyun .. woh bhi ek din
pehle .. Neenchein sangeet chal
raha hai bhanchod

ARUN
dekh .. hum dono ne decide kiya hai
ki saath rahegein par shaadi waadi
nahin karna chahtein

VIRAT
o bhanchod .. toh itne kharchein
karwayein hee kyon ? ache khaasein
chup chap reh lete

ARUN
wahin toh baat hain na! hume chup
chaap chup chup ke nahin rehena ..
we want to live in .. we just want
to stay together..and i dont want
to lose her over some last minute
shaadi cancelation shit ..bass

VIRAT
toh pehlein kyon nahin bola ..

ARUN
arre pehle kissi ne bolne kahaan
diya ..
(MORE)
 4.

ARUN (CONT'D)
jaise humne moonh khola mummy shuru
hon gayi apne sapney poorien
karnein main .. kehne lagi
..pichlein waale ke liye kuch kar
na sakein par hamare yeh bete ki
shaadi hum dhoom dhaam se
karegein.. daddy ko yeh venue se
paise vasool karne ki jaldi thi ..
saarein behno ko shaadi ke kapdein
ka aur destination wedding ka mauka
mil rahaan tha .. kyun ki unke
husband unhein kahin le nahin
jaatein .. yaar reshma …meri badi
behen pata hai usne mujh se ek baar
poonchaa bhi nahin ki tum dono kiss
tarah aagein badna chahtein hon ..
bas bol diya i cant wait for you to
get married in Goa .. am going to
wear all that i have been keeping
for your wedding aur chali gayi
apne baby ko feed karne

VIRAT
par uska kya .. uskein gharwaalein
se tu kuch karva sakta tha

ARUN
yaar uske baap ka already chemo
therapy chal rahaan hain .. woh bhi
apni sherwani pehen ke apni beti ki
shaadi main aana chahta tha .. ab
usse kaun na bolein .. Aur tu kal
subah aaya seedha mahino baad teri
shakal dekh rahaan hoon

Now Virat holds his head in his hands and mumbles

VIRAT
Bhanchod !!!

ARUN
yaar mera baap teri hi sunta …jab
se tu unhein woh meditation
karvaane art of living le gaya
..woh apna art of drinking bhul
gayein hai .. unkein liye tu world
main best admi hain .. aur tumhara
woh guruji se badkar koi nahin ..
ab kya karoon bata?

VIRAT
Tune tere daddy ko bola ki main ..
Matlab woh jaantein hain main peeta
hoon ?!
 5.

ARUN
nahin maine nahin baataya abhi tak
.. par saalein kuch kar abhi nahin
toh bata doonga

Virat stands up starts pacing & mumbling & shaking his head
in disbelief

VIRAT
hotel ka cancellation .. Woh daddy
aur main sambhal lege .. guests ko
kya pata chalega ..acha woh sab
chod

Virat stops pacing, takes a moment, goes bottoms up on the

glass. Arun keeps the bottle away as a precaution.

VIRAT (CONT’D)
Abbe salein bottle chod phone de
mera

Arun stares

VIRAT (CONT’D)
Dena!

Arun gives up and gives the phone and braces for the worst
while Virat dials a number on the phone

VIRAT (CONT’D)
hello uncle .. jai gurodev ..aap
zara side main aayein na ..
(louder) side main aakar baat
kijiye pls. hum logon se galti hon
gayi hain,yeh dono shaadi nahin
karna chahtein .. ji ? ..nahin
nahin .. saath rehna chahtein hai
par yeh shaadi register wageraah
nahin karna chahtein hain.. Dono
badein pareshaan lag rahein hai
socha aapse … ji ? uncle chota
moonh badi baat .. ismay galat kya
hain.. yeh sab shaadi ka taam jhaam
toh hamrein liyein hon raha hain ..
Naachna humein hai .. logon ko
Khaana khilana humein hai ..
swaarth humara hai .. Shaadi
nibhani unhein hain.. Ji ? Ji .. Ji
..neenchein lawn main miltein hain
.. nahin nahin unn dono ko rehne
don .. woh dono already bohot
stressed hai .. Ji .. Jai gurodev
 6.

Virat hangs up. starts checking his pockets ..

VIRAT (CONT’D)
Mint hai kya ..

ARUN
Kya kahaan unhonein

Arun removes halls from his pocket and hands it to Virat

VIRAT
kahaan yeh dhoom dhaam ki zaroorat
dono families ko hain couple ko
nahin...saath toh rehne waalein
hain .. toh celebration naanch
gaana jaari rakhtein hain .. kal
shaadi ka kuch sochtein .. divorce
aur alimony dene se yahin acha
hain.. Phere wayrein karlein aur
shaadi register hi na karein

ARUN
Yaar woh nashein main toh yeh sab
..

VIRAT
Wahin check karne jaa raha hoon

Virat is about to leave, Arun pulls him and hugs him in

gratitude and breathes a sigh of relief. they pat eachothers
back.

ARUN
Thanks yaar ..

VIRAT
Ja tu zara uske pass jaa ke dekh ki
woh theek hai kya ..Sunn ..Aisa lag
raha hai ki maine bohot pi hai ?

They walk out sharing banter

ARUN
Bas seedha khada reh aur kissi ko
bhencod mat bolna .. Tu daaru peeke
bhen ko bhaan bolta hai ..
Bhaanchod