Russian Recue Mission

Opening title screen :

Russia 1985

EXT. STREET DAY

We are in the street by a parking meter, we see OLAG and YURI

blah blah

OLAG
Did you remember the milky bars?

YURI
No, all they had this Finnish bars.

YURI covers his mouth as he trying to blow his nose with a

handkerchief with a KGB logo embryoid onto it.

YURI
Still covering his mouth with handkerchief
It’s Finland, going straight to London is too risky
and please work with GLADIS.

Yuri uncovers his mouth and stands up straight as he clears up

his nose
YURI
Her back really does hurt, her complaining is
driving me mad.

Both OLAG and HUGH turn to face the building in front, turning
the gaze at the top floor windows.

YURI
Right, best I leave you. I will see you around.

OLAG
You won’t, but that’s the point.

Cut to the next scene.

INT SWITCHBOARD ROOM DAY

Camera pans around a room full of KGB spies operating a

switchboard in a small living room, you can hear the voices of
YURI AND GLADIS through the headphones of the KGB Spies.

Then camera moves from the switchboard room onto the living
room of YURI and GLADIS.
INT LIVING ROOM DAY

We are in a cosy living room, we see YURI reading the

newspaper with a headline “Traitors! A mole has been found in
the KGB, working for the Americans and British” whilst GLADIS
is complaining about her back.

YURI
Sigh loudly and inhales a big breath

Well if it hurts that bad let go to bloody Finland

to see the dam specialist.

GLADIS
Annoyed said sarcastically

Yeah I would love to! Oh that’s right we have kids!

We can’t just leave.

YURI
Angrily closes newspapers and stands up.

We will bring them! There is plenty of space! Or we

just bring the baby and leave the two big ones at
your mothers.

GLADIS

Scoffs and with her hands on her waist.

HA! And who is going to me with baby JACK? YOU? Ha!

YURI
Grunts and speaks
Fine! Let’s bring JANICE! She said it be fun for her
and her husband to come with and make a holiday out
out of it! She even said she will help you with baby
JACK.

GLADIS

But you hate JANICE!? You said being stuck with them
all the way to Finland would give you an aneurism.

YURI
Walks over to GLADIS hugs her and soothes her back, leans in
to whisper in her ear.
 But if I keep hearing you complain about your
back I will get an aneurism either way.

As they embrace each other , YURI uses morse code on her back
telling her she needs to place OLAG I the boot and it’s
Finland the drop off.

Cut to the next day.

EXT HOUSE GARAGE MORNING

YURI and GLADIS rushing out the house in a panic, YURI

struggles to do the car seat for JACK whilst GLADIS trying to
put stroller in the boot.

YURI
Finally sets car seat, with a loud and deep inhale and exhale

FUCKING FINALLY! Let’s go! And pick up you annoying

friend and dull husband.

GLADIS
As she closes the boot she winks to OLAG and walks to the
passenger seat and sits and buckles seat belt.

All out of your system? Kay..drive!

YURI and GLADIS look at each other and nod.

CUT TO NEXT SCENE

EXT STREET MORNING

YURI and GLADIS pick up JANICE and husband on the side curb.
Janice and husband places bags in boot.

YURI
If it wont go. In the boot then keep it under the
baby JACK seat for now, we will sort it out later.

JANICE
Annoyingly says
But my bags!

YURI
Annoyed and distress
 You have no idea how hard GLADIS work to fit that
stroller, lets go.

Everyone fell silent and YURI started to drive, the mood move
from frantic to awkward silence whilst everyone looked blankly
ahead as they drove away from the city.

CUT TO THE SCENCE

EXT MOTORWAY INSIDE CAR DAY

YURI, GLADIS, baby JACK, JANICE and husband approach the

boarder to FINLAND, KGB officers doing checks.

GlADIS opens a packet of cheese and onion crips and spills

some over the car floor as the KGBs dog approaches them.

GLADIS
UGH, I hate cues!

JANICE proceeds to reach to the front and turns the on the

radio loudly and grabs some of the cheesy onion crips and
smears it all over floor of the car at the back.

GLADIS and JANICE

Together they start singing Rasputin.
RA! RA! Rasputin! lover OF THE Russian queen.

KGB officers approaches them with their dog slowly , dog

starts barking.

JANICE wakes up baby JACK loudly and passes GLADIS a rubbish

bag containing a dirty dipper to GLADIS.GLADIS places it
inside her big handbag.
KGB OFFICER

KGB officer knocks on driver’s window.

Can all of you please step out of the car, we need

to check the car.

EVERYONE steps out of the car, GLADIS discreetly drops the bag
of the dirty nappy by the front of the car and JANICE takes a
crying baby JACK out of the car seat.

EXT MOTORWAY IMIGRATION DAY

KGB OFFICER
Looks at the baby displeased and gives a judging look to
GLADIS.
 Don’t you think maybe if you didn’t play loud music
your baby would cry as much?

Dog starts sniffing the car, starts barking.

KGB officer rushes, dog points to the dirty nappy left by the
front of the car.

KGB OFFICER
Scoffs and gives a displease look at the dog and back to
GLADIS.
You know why we are doing these checks?

YURI
To keep us safe from those disgusting immigrants.

KGB OFFICER
Scoffs and chuckles as he approaches the back of the car.

Yes! Plus we there a was rat that trying to escape,

you wouldn’t know anything about that?

YURI
Remains calm and lights a ciggerate, takes a big drag and
speaks

No, all I know nowadays is my wife won’t shut up

about her back and my baby well….he’s a big cry
baby.

KGB OFFICER
Let’s out a big laugh

Ha! Gosh I hate children! Shame my wife is already

due.

As the KGB OFFICER is about to open the car boot, GLADIS grabs
baby JACK of JANICE’S arms pulls out a changing matt ad slams
it on top the car boot.

KGB OFFICER
Is angry and starts to shout.

HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? MOVE!

 GLADIS
Stands her ground and places baby JACK on changing matt.

Sorry! But he needs me! His dipper is full and I

have to look after him. Soon you will understand.

GLADIS proceeds to change the diaper frantically whilst trying

to soothe baby JACK.

KGB OFFICER.
Makes a disgusted face and gags when he gets a whiff of the
smell.
Fine, once you finished that you can go through and
turn off that loud baby of yours.

KGB OFFIER walks away whilst shaking his head and makes a
signal to the other officers to let them through

EVERYONE get inside car calmly, YURI turns off the radio, baby
JACK is peacefully in his car seat and proceed to go through
the window at pay the tariff.

Car goes through the gate and now are in Finland. Here is a
long pause until they can no longer see the border.

GLADIS
Sighs with relief and turns on the radio and screams.

OLAG we are I Finland! We are in the clear!

INT INSIDE THE CAR BOOT DAY

OlAG
With a big grin starts to laugh

HA!I fucking love that baby!

EXT CAR IN MOTORWAY DAY

Everyone starts laughing and cheering as the approach the drop

of point to change OLAG to another car of spies.

THE END.