CORKY GELLMANIA

Written by

Justin Wiggins

Reddit.com/u/axJustinWiggins
JustinCJWiggins@gmail.com
Content warning: This script contains adult themes, vulgar
language, sexual content and graphic violence. Discretion is
advised.

INT. THE GELLMANSION, LIVING ROOM - MORNING

The GellMansion is the unhumble abode of actor/singer/dancer

Corky Gellman. Located in Encino, this house is a regular
stop on several tours of celebrity homes. Featuring a dozen
guest rooms, winding staircases, marble floors and a lush,
outdoor pool area, this opulent residence was purchased with
the fruits of Corky’s tumultuous youth as an internationally
celebrated child star.

The sun rises through sleets in white blinds. Passed out on

an expensive, shattered coffee table lays CORKY GELLMAN (51
years young. Lithe with silken, jet black hair. A sensitive
vegan and world renowned lothario).

Corky is surrounded on all sides by torn out clumps of salt &

pepper hair. A copy of Corky’s autobiography, Corkyography,
is ripped to shreds nearby. A drop of blood from up above
drips down onto Corky’s face. He awakens slowly from his
peaceful slumber. He’s not quite ready to open his eyes just
yet. Another crimson drop falls onto his cheek, and then
another straight into his open mouth. He grimaces and spits
the blood out, before using his hand to wipe its remnants off
his chin.

Corky wakes up, dazed. He studies his quivering, red hand. He

looks to the ceiling. A massive, red stain leaks upon him
from the second floor. What appears to be a human spine is
dangling like a chandelier from a small hole in the center of
the stain.

CORKY
This can’t be happening.

He looks all around him. Eviscerated corpses are everywhere.

A scantily clad woman (ANGELA) in white wears crumpled angel
wings and a battered halo. The same attire of several fresh
corpses. She struggles to crawl to Corky. She is missing her
lower half. Blood and viscera streak the polished wood floor
behind her, as if she were a snail leaving behind a trail of
slime.

CORKY (CONT’D)
Not again.

ANGELA
Corky...
 2.

CORKY
Angela?

ANGELA
Core...

Corky runs to her and holds her tightly in his arms.

CORKY
It’s gonna’ be okay, I promise! I’m
gonna’ get you help!

ANGELA
Why... did you... kill... us? I
thought... you loved...

She passes away in his arms. He buries his face in the nape
of her neck and sobs before looking to the sky and screaming.

CORKY
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

He takes a long moment to grieve and collect his breath,

rocking back and forth with Angela’s lifeless torso in his
arms. His mind, body and soul ache. He eventually calms
himself down and woefully nods his head as he counts the
human remains scattered all around.

CORKY (CONT’D)
Alexa!

His automated Alexa responds in her trademark, tinny voice.

ALEXA (V.O.)
Yes, Corky.

CORKY
Call Sean!

EXT. SEAN ASPEN’S POOL - MORNING

SEAN ASPEN is a wealthy, happy, nurturer to friends and

family. He has more than he could ever ask for in the love of
his family. He worked hard in his youth as a successful, but
not over exposed, child actor. He now, almost exclusively,
reaps the benefits. He’s lounging on expensive patio
furniture, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, sipping on a frosty
margarita as a live band plays reggae in the background.

Sean’s pool sits behind a cozy Hollywood mansion. Sean’s

daughter’s eleventh birthday party is happening. There’s
about forty or fifty attendees alongside face painters,
balloon twisters and costumed cartoon characters.
 3.

In his youth, Sean idolized Corky. His inner child still

does, though the family man he’s grown into is often
seriously concerned with Corky’s seeming inability to grow
up. Sean answers his phone.

SEAN
Corky.

CORKY (O.S.)
Sean!

SEAN
Where are you?

CORKY (O.S.)
What? Home.

SEAN
Did you forget?

CORKY (O.S.)
Forget? What? Sean I-

SEAN
I can’t believe you forgot your own
goddaughter’s birthday. I could’ve
made Brolin the godfather.
Christine begged me to make Brolin
the godfather. You promised her a
Shetland pony.

CORKY (O.S.)
Listen, I will buy her two Shetland
ponies, I just need you to-

SEAN
Oh don’t bother, Brolin just bought
her a baby rhino.

CORKY (O.S.)
That seems unethical.

SEAN
He gave her the Infinity Gauntlet.

CORKY (O.S.)
What, like a... toy?

SEAN
No. He gave her the real Infinity
Gauntlet, the one from Infinity
War.
 4.

CORKY (O.S.)
That’s way too much power to trust
in the hands of a ten year old!

SEAN
She’s eleven. Here, I’ll put him
on, you wanna’ talk to him?

CORKY (O.S.)
What? No.

SEAN
(He calls to someone off camera).
Slosh! Hey, Slosh! You want to say
hi to the Gelldawg?

BROLIN (O.C.)
(In a deep, scratchy baritone) Fuck
no.

Sean shrugs and resumes the phone call with his lifelong best
friend.

INT. THE GELLMANSION, BATHROOM - MORNING

Corky has begun running the shower in his elaborate, pristine

spa, all the while still talking on the phone with Sean.

CORKY
It happened again.

SEAN (O.S.)
So just take a half of one of those
blue pills I gave you.

CORKY
(Sobbing) No, I killed... (he
starts to sob, gagging on his own
tears) I killed a lot of people
this time.

SEAN (O.S.)
What the fuck, again?

CORKY
Yeah.

SEAN (O.S.)
How do you not have a handle on
this yet?

CORKY
I don’t know. I need help.
 5.

SEAN (O.S.)
Corky, I am at my daughter’s
fucking birthday party!

CORKY
I never wanted to be this.

SEAN (O.S.)
Do not start up with that again.
You are responsible for the choices
you make. Your mess is not my
fault.

CORKY
You made me this!

SEAN (O.S.)
You think I go crying to Paulie
Short every time I fall off the
blood wagon?

CORKY
Please.

SEAN (O.S.)
Did you kill anybody famous?

CORKY
I think I killed, uh... Kirk
Patrick. I’m pretty sure.

SEAN (O.S.)
Who is that? I don’t know who that
is.

CORKY
From N*GORGE.

SEAN (O.S.)
The guy with the...

CORKY
The huge dick, yeah, it’s like...
nine inches soft.

SEAN
I was gonna’ say-

CORKY
I don’t even think it gets hard,
it’s too big. Steph said it was
like having sex with a giant
sponge. He must’ve had penis
enlargement surgery or something.
(MORE)
 6.

CORKY (CONT’D)
I’m pretty sure that’s why the band
broke up, he couldn’t keep up with
the dance moves any more. It’s been
really bad for his lower back.

SEAN (O.S.)
I was gonna’ say dread locks.

CORKY
Yeah, he had those too.

There is a long, pregnant pause.

SEAN
Look... I’ll be over there in two
hours with a cleaning crew. In the
meantime, take a valium or
something.

CORKY
Sean... I’m sorry.

Sean hangs up.

EXT. SEAN ASPEN'S POOL - MORNING

Sean puts down his phone. Sean’s wife CHRISTINE (early 50’s,
matriarchal yet still retaining her youthful beauty, a former
Miss Indiana) sits down next to him. Sean is frustrated. He
hates disappointing his family, but his friend needs him.

SEAN
I have to go.

CHRISTINE
Is it Corky again?

SEAN
No... okay, yes.

CHRISTINE
I will never understand why you
choose Corky freaking Gellman over
your own family, who loves you,
again and again and again.

SEAN
I’m not choosing him over you.

CHRISTINE
Well that’s what it feels like. And
P.S., I’m still pissed about the
Tofurkey incident of 2013.
 7.

SEAN
You know he had good intentions,
he’s already apologized for that.

CHRISTINE
His apology did not exude
sincerity. He ruined the last
Thanksgiving we ever got to spend
with my mom.

SEAN
He’s my best friend.

CHRISTINE
He’s a mess. He doesn’t deserve
you. You know that, right?

SEAN
Well I don’t deserve you but you
were dumb enough to marry me
anyway.

CHRISTINE
You’re right, I am dumb. I
should’ve said yes to Brolin when
he asked.

SEAN
That’s not funny... he didn’t
really ask you to marry him, right?
I’d know about that.

CHRISTINE
Imagine what I could have done with
all that Marvel money.

SEAN
Would you stop.

CHRISTINE
I could’ve solved world hunger.
Cured cancer. Funded another season
of Hannibal.

SEAN
Oh, please.

INT. THE GELLMANSION, LIVING ROOM - EARLY AFTERNOON.

A team of men in hazmat suits is scrubbing Corky’s floors and

ceiling. One group is clearing debris, while another is
moving in replacement furniture. Sean and Corky survey the
damage.
 8.

Sean is disappointed and feels the need for this to be a

teachable moment to his friend. He speaks to him as a loving
but concerned father would to a son.

SEAN
What happened to that app I
downloaded onto your phone?

CORKY
I couldn’t figure it out.

SEAN
Did you even try?

CORKY
Yes I tried! But it wasn’t supposed
to even be a big deal because
Serene was tracking the moon-cycle
anyway.

SEAN
Well she did a bang up job.

CORKY
People make mistakes. She was an
astrologist, not an astronomer. Oh
God. Serene. She was so beautiful.
I could saw undigested scraps of
her face in my B.M. this morning.

Corky weeps unconsolably. Sean puts his arm around his

friend.

SEAN
Give me you phone. I’ll set up the
app for you. Have you figured out
what you’re gonna’ do next?

Corky hands Sean his phone.

CORKY
I’m gonna’ need all new Heavenly
Bodies. Like, five or six.
Preferably with their own
instruments. I kind of thrashed the
recording studio.

SEAN
How about we just focus on getting
you one new assistant for now?

CORKY
Okay, but she has to be hot.
 9.

INT. CHILD SERVICES PLAY ROOM - EARLY AFTERNOON.

SOPHIE, a young mother plays with her toddler aged son

JAMESON. She loves her child profoundly and glows in his
presence.

INT. CHILD SERVICES OBSERVATION ROOM - AFTERNOON

Sophie watches her son play alone through a two way mirror.
She spends each precious moment she has with him memorizing
the way he looks, down to the tiniest features. Jameson is
mashing two stuffed animals together in a fight. Next to her
is a CHILD SERVICES ADVOCATE, a stern looking woman who only
wants what’s best for Jameson. She has been in here observing
Jameson and Sophie the entire time.

CHILD SERVICES ADVOCATE

Have you found any work?

SOPHIE
I danced a couple nights at a Wild
Women on the strip last week, but
then some creep tried to slip a
finger in me during a lap dance. I
stuck him in the eye with my thumb,
so they fired me.

CHILD SERVICES ADVOCATE

Sounds like you should get a lawyer
and sue for sexual harassment and
lost wages.

SOPHIE
Yeah well, lawyers cost money.

CHILD SERVICES ADVOCATE

You’re still running low on funds?

SOPHIE
Let’s put it this way. I could
either eat this month or pay my
child support.

CHILD SERVICES ADVOCATE

And you’re up to date on your child
support payments?

SOPHIE
As of this morning, yeah.

CHILD SERVICES ADVOCATE

Well that’s good.
 10.

Sophie’s stomach growls.

SOPHIE
When do I get to be with Jameson
again? Like, really spend time with
him? Outside of here?

CHILD SERVICES ADVOCATE

Once you’ve figured out your
housing situation I’m confidant
we’ll be able to expand your
visitation agreement.

SOPHIE
I miss him. I want him back.

Sophie is trying her hardest not to cry. Her heartbreaks

every time she has to say goodbye to her son.

CHILD SERVICES ADVOCATE

Baby steps, Sophie. You’re putting
the cart before the horse. You find
a steady job, you find a place to
live, and we’ll figure things out
from there.

Sophie sniffs away a tear.

SOPHIE
Okay.

INT. SOPHIE’S CAR - EARLY AFTERNOON

Sophie’s car is old, weathered and falling apart. She clearly

lives in it. It is stuffed to the brim with her personal
belongings (mostly clothes). It’s parked in an alleyway. Her
head is on the steering wheel. She is crying loudly. A
cantankerous homeless man lays on a pile of stuffed garbage
bags. He lifts his head and speaks to her.

HOMELESS MAN
Would you shut the fuck up, lady?
Some of us are trying to get some
sleep around here.

SOPHIE
Sorry.

She turns the key in the ignition and starts up her car.
 11.

EXT. A PUBLIC PARK IN THE CENTER OF THE CITY - AFTERNOON

Corky and Sean approach a community board. Sean staples an ad

to it that reads:

WANTED - Hot female assistant for major Hollywood celebrity.

Must have a car. Preferably vegan.

Inquiries: Sean234@LoTR.org

SEAN
Margo Plumpton won’t get off my ass
about that Boonies sequel.

CORKY
Tell me about it.

Sophie is nearby, digging through the trash. She spots the

two celebrities. She approaches the board and reads the ad.

SOPHIE
Hey, you guys are looking for an
assistant?

SEAN
He is.

SOPHIE
What’s it pay?

CORKY
Room and board plus a thousand a
week.

SOPHIE
Hours?

CORKY
All hours.

SOPHIE
Health? Dental?

CORKY
You’d have unlimited access to
anything in my medicine cabinet.

SOPHIE
(scanning the ad) Major Hollywood
Celebrities... You I know, you’re
Corky Gellman. From Lost Kids.

CORKY
Guilty as charged.
 12.

SOPHIE
I thought you died?

CORKY
Not that I’m aware of.

SOPHIE
You I don’t recognize. You’re a
celebrity?

SEAN
I mean, if you think starring in a
slew of Oscar winning, billion
dollar movies makes someone a
celebrity, then yeah, by that
strict definition I’m kind of
famous. There are action figures of
me, if that’s what you mean.

SOPHIE
What do I know you from?

SEAN
Probably Weirder Stuffs? King of
the Discs? Rude Eat?

SOPHIE
No.

SEAN
Fifty One First Dates? San Diego
Man? Boonies?

SOPHIE
You’re the, you’re allergic to bees
kid from Boonies!

SEAN
It’s always Boonies. Fuck.

CORKY
Technically we’re both the kid from
Boonies.

Corky reaches his hand out. She shakes it.

CORKY (CONT’D)
I’m Mouf. I mean Corky. But you
already knew that.

SEAN
Sean.
 13.

Sean and Sophie shake hands and Corky squeezes some hand
sanitizer into his palm before rubbing his hands together. He
proceeds to do the same for Sean.

SOPHIE
Sophie. So when do I start?

SEAN
Just like that? We have a whole
bunch of other candidates we’ve got
to interview first. It’s a highly
selective process.

SOPHIE
No, I’m literally the only
candidate. I been following you
guys for a while. I’ve tore down
everything you put up.

Sophie tears down the ad they just put up and tosses it in a

nearby recycling bin.

CORKY
She even recycles! You got the job,
kid.

SEAN
I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

CORKY
She’s spicey. I like spicey women.

SEAN
Spicey women give me indigestion.

SOPHIE
You guys need a ride?

INT. SOPHIE'S CAR - AFTERNOON

Corky is in the front passenger’s seat. Sean is crammed into

the back, visibly uncomfortable, surrounded by everything
Sophie owns. From clothes, to stuffed animals, to bedding and
appliances.

SOPHIE
So what was the king of pop really
like?
 14.

CORKY
It’s complicated. I kind of decided
not to talk about it to people I
don’t really, really, really know
well. I’ve had a problem with so
called journalists weaponizing my
quotes against me for soulless
tabloid clickbait headlines.

SEAN
Would you like to know what Viggo
Modello smells like?

SOPHIE
Was he the bad guy from the
painting in Ghostbusters two?

SEAN
No... that was someone else...
Cinnamon. He smells like cinnamon.

CORKY
So what’s you whole deal?

SOPHIE
What’s my deal? Oh, I’m a big ol’
cliché mostly. Came to Hollywood to
be a star. Got used and abused by
lots of guys pretending they could
help me. Now I’m broke, just doing
what I can to survive.

CORKY
You like music?

SOPHIE
Sure.

Corky inserts a CD into the car and hits play. It’s his own
music. Sophie is from the south and is extremely closed
minded about the music she listens to. She only enjoys
country songs, though she tolerates Corky’s eclectic mix of
rock & roll, blues and industrial music.

CORKY
This is me and my Heavenly
Bodies... they’re all dead now.

SOPHIE
Is that why you call em’ heavenly
bodies?
 15.

CORKY
What? No, that’s what... that’s
just what they were called.

SOPHIE
How’d they all die? Bus crash?

CORKY
Uh, they uh...

SEAN
They choked to death.

SOPHIE
That’s weird.

CORKY
I know, right? That’s a pretty
crazy coincidence, Sean.

SEAN
What, that’s a perfectly reasonable
way to die, lots of people choke to
death. It’s like the third most
common way to die.

SOPHIE
At the same time?

SEAN
Huh?

SOPHIE
Were these all separate instances
or was this like, an all at once,
mass choking incident.

SEAN
Oh, um, all at once. They were
eating one of those six foot party
subs.

There is a long period of time where no one speaks and they

all listen to Corky’s music.

SOPHIE
Y’all aren’t like, gonna’ lock me
in a dog cage and torture me or
nothin’, right?

SEAN
What? That’s crazy.
 16.

CORKY
I would never do that.

SEAN
I respect women.

SOPHIE
I figured. You know, just seemed
polite to ask. Make sure everyone’s
got the same... expectations.

SEAN
This is all strictly professional,
everything is above board.

CORKY
I mean unless, you know...

SOPHIE
Unless what?

CORKY
You know.

SOPHIE
I genuinely don’t...

There is another long silence between the three.

Sean spots a drive-thru Burger Joint. His eyes grow large.

SEAN
Ooh, pull over here, I’m starving.

Sophie veers dangerously off the road and pulls into the
drive-thru. Cars honk at her reckless driving.

INT. BURGER JOINT DRIVE-THRU - AFTERNOON

The restaurant is called Burger Joint. It’s logo is a

hamburger with a big marijuana joint in the middle instead of
meat. A fuzzy voice greets them over a large speaker/menu.
Sean manually rolls down the rear driver’s side window.

SPEAKER
Welcome to Burger Joint, would you
like to try some fresh nuggs today?

SEAN
Like... as in chicken nuggets?

SPEAKER
Yeah.
 17.

SEAN
No...

SPEAKER
Whenever you’re ready.

Sean studies the menu intensely.

SEAN
I’ll take a number four twenty ‘G’.
(He leans forward to talk to Corky
and Sophie) You guys want anything?
I’m paying.

Sophie rolls down her window and orders for herself.

SOPHIE
I’ll take a large fry and a Diet
Coke.

SPEAKER
Will that be all for you today?

Corky leans over Sophie so as to study the menu.

CORKY
What... are your... vegan options.

SPEAKER
Everything we have is on the menu.

CORKY
Do your hamburger buns contain egg?

SPEAKER
I don’t know, man.

CORKY
Do you have the box they came in?
Can you read the ingredients to me?

SPEAKER
(Lying) Oh yeah. I’m reading it
now. Yeah, it’s got eggs.

CORKY
Can you just throw some lettuce,
tomato and onion in a box and give
me a couple packets of ketchup?

SPEAKER
Whatever. That’ll be twenty six
seventy nine. Pull through.
 18.

Sophie’s car lurches to the drive-thru window. SPEAKER is now

a very tired, very jaded, mildly aggravated human being (no
longer a faceless box). He’s between his late twenties and
early forties. He has a ponytail and a goatee.

SPEAKER (CONT’D)
Twenty eight ninety six.

Sean pats his pockets.

SEAN
Oh shit, I must’ve left my wallet
at your place when I paid off the
cleaning crew. You mind?

SOPHIE
My bank account’s been overdrawn
for months.

Sophie and Sean look to Corky.

CORKY
Don’t look at me. I don’t support
capitalism.

SEAN
I got this.

He addresses the Speaker.

SEAN (CONT’D)
Hey, you like Ninja Tadpoles? You
see, we’re both actors-

SPEAKER
Ninja Tadpoles is a kid’s show, I
like Street Sharks.

Sean is utterly defeated but still speaks, though his voice

fades into inaudibility.

SEAN
We were both... on the cartoon. He
was in the movie...

SPEAKER
That’ll be twenty six forty six.

SOPHIE
I feel like the price keeps
changing.
SPEAKER
No.
 19.

CORKY
Have you ever seen Boonies?

SPEAKER
Hm?

Corky points to himself and then Sean.

CORKY
Mouf. Mickey.

SPEAKER
No shit?

SEAN
He speaks no lies. You wanna’ get a
selfie with us?

SPEAKER
Oh, yeah, let’s take a picture! I’m
about to hook you guys up!

The Speaker runs off into the restaurant, excited.

CORKY
See? You always lead with Boonies.
Unless they’re at all goth, in
which case I tell them I played
Johnny Sandwich in Thursday the
Twelfth parts four and five. Say
it.

SEAN
Always lead with Boonies.

SOPHIE
Always lead with Boonies. Unless
they’re goth and then you play a
sandwich in Thursdays four and
five.

The Speaker rounds the corner out of the store and approaches
Sophie’s car with a baseball bat.

SOPHIE (CONT’D)
Hey, where’s our food?

SPEAKER
Where is she you piece of shit?!

Speaker smashes Sophie’s windshield with the baseball bat.

Sean rolls up his window.
 20.

SOPHIE
What the fuck?!

SPEAKER
You a fucking sex trafficker?!

CORKY
Oh shit.

SEAN
Drive! Drive!

SPEAKER
My sister went to one of your
stupid orgies and then we ain’t
never seen her again! Where is she?
Did you fucking kill her?! Did you?

Speaker keeps hitting the car with the baseball bat. He

knocks out Corky’s window and takes off the passenger’s side
mirror. Corky tries to wrestle the bat out of Speaker’s
hands.

CORKY
Get us the fuck out of here!

Sophie is struggling to get her car started. Speaker is

trying to rip open Corky’s door with his bare hands. The car
finally starts. Sophie speeds away.

SPEAKER
I know what you are, Corky Gellman!
I know what the fuck you are!

EXT. BUSY CITY ROADS - AFTERNOON

Sophie weaves in and out of heavy traffic. Cars honk, brakes

squeal.

SOPHIE
Is he gone? Is anybody chasing us?

SEAN
No. He was alone.

CORKY
Big surprise. Sparkling personality
on that guy.

SOPHIE
What was that about his sister? Did
you guys know her or something?
 21.

SEAN
I have no idea who that guy’s
sister was.

CORKY
She could’ve been... anybody...

SOPHIE
Does this happen... often?

SEAN
Fans confusing us with someone
else? All the time. Comes with the
territory. Every time my hair gets
a little shaggy people start
thinking I played Dolores Umbridge.

CORKY
I get Timothy Chalamet like, all
the time.

SOPHIE
That’s hard to believe.

CORKY
I know, right? I’m way better
looking than him. It’s like David
Bowie said. Fame. Bully for you,
chilly for me. Gotta’ get a
raincheck on the pain. Fame.

There’s a long pause. Corky hits play on his CD.

SOPHIE
Hey I didn’t know y’all were Ninja
Tadpoles.

SEAN
Oh yeah, I’m very proud of my time
as a turtle. I was the voice of
Dirk.

CORKY
I played the duel roles of Dongle
and Smash.

SOPHIE
I don’t care. I mean, I just didn’t
know you were in those was all I’m
saying. I never seen it. Not trying
to be rude...

SEAN
It’s coming out a little rude.
 22.

CORKY
If I’m being truthful and open with
the vibrations of the universe,
which is always how I try to be,
and I know we just met, but the way
you phrase things can sometimes be
hurtful.

SEAN
You can’t be blunt in Hollywood.

CORKY
You really can’t. This is a
spiritual place. Lots of empaths.

SEAN
You throw a rock you’re gonna’ hit
an empath.

CORKY
Seventy five, eighty three percent
empath.

SOPHIE
Sorry.

SEAN
It’s totally okay. No harm no foul.
We’ve all got room to grow.

CORKY
And with your heartfelt apology, my
disruptive emotions drift away into
the ether and I am once again at
peace.

SEAN
This is it.

EXT. GELLMANSION - AFTERNOON

Sophie’s car pulls up to the GellMansion. It immediately dies

in the driveway, with a loud, smoke-filled sigh. They get out
and talk as they walk to the front door.

SOPHIE
Wow, nice place.

CORKY
Thanks. We call it the GellMansion.
 23.

SOPHIE
That’s sure something. Do I have to
call it that?

SEAN
Why wouldn’t you want to call it
that? The GellMansion is an awesome
name. Who’s house has a better name
than that? Graceland? Mar-a-Lago?
What’s that even mean? Yuck.

CORKY
I don’t think it’s a ridiculous ask
to call a house by its given name.

SOPHIE
No, it’s cool. I like it. I think
the GellMansion sounds great.

CORKY
Thank you. I came up with it
myself.

SEAN
I though Haim came up with it?

CORKY
No, it was me.

SOPHIE
You guys know the band Haim? That’s
cool.

SEAN
No, we were good friends with the
actor they were named after.

CORKY
May he rest in peace.

A member of the PAPARAZZI pops out of some bushes and starts

taking their pictures. He does not stop clicking away for
their entire interaction.

PAPARAZZI
Corky! Sean! Can I get a picture?

SOPHIE
Oh fuck me.

SEAN
How are you gonna’ ask to take a
picture after you’ve already taken
like, thirty pictures?
 24.

CORKY
(Posing) Hey, he’s just doing his
job.

PAPARAZZI
Thanks, Corky. You’re the best.
Hey, who’s the babe? New love
interest?

CORKY
We’re still... figuring that out.

Sophie is trying to cover her face. She desperately wants to

avoid an appearance in the tabloids. Sean notices she’s
uncomfortable and makes the save.

SEAN
Oh hey, look! Brad Split’s dropping
his kids back off with Angelinga.
Oooh, she does not look happy! They
must be late. Is that Jennifer
Blaniston in the passenger’s seat?

PAPARAZZI
Thanks for the pics, Corky!

The Paparazzi runs off.

CORKY
Any time.

Corky opens the front door to his house. There’s still tarps,
ladders and paint supplies all over.

CORKY (CONT’D)
Sorry. They’re just finishing up
some renovations.

INT. GELLMANSION - AFTERNOON

CORKY
Do you smoke?

SOPHIE
Weed?

CORKY
No, crack. No, that’s a joke.

SEAN
Corky has a sick sense of humor.
 25.

CORKY
Do you smoke weed?

SOPHIE
I can’t. I get randomly drug tested
a couple times a month.

SEAN
Probation?

SOPHIE
Something like that.

SEAN
I’ve been there. Twice. You know
it’s illegal in the state of
California to masturbate into a
public urinal? Nevada too. Isn’t
that crazy?

CORKY
We’re gonna’ have to get you a gas
mask if you’re going to be staying
here with us. I like to keep the
air pretty foggy.

SOPHIE
I’m sure it’ll be fine.

Corky rips a massive hit from a tall, fancy bong. He takes

his time blowing out a cloud of smoke that engulfs them all.

CORKY
You want a tour of the house?

SOPHIE
Heck yeah.

INT. KITCHEN - AFTERNOON

The kitchen is large and has an elaborate cooking station, as

well as a breakfast island and several refurbished antique
stools.

CORKY
This is the kitchen. I like to keep
everything vegan in here, down to
the dish detergent.

SOPHIE
What made you go vegan?
 26.

CORKY
What makes you eat meat?

SOPHIE
It tastes good.

CORKY
I guess I just value the sanctity
of life more than I desire an
inconsequential serotonin rush from
my tastebuds.

SOPHIE
Okay but have you ever tried bacon.

CORKY
I’m Jewish.

Sophie speaks unironically, coming from a very sheltered,

conservative upbringing.

SOPHIE
A Jew in Hollywood? Now I’ve seen
everything.

SEAN
I can’t tell if she’s joking.

SOPHIE
You got any of those little frisbee
hats lying around?

CORKY
They’re called yarmulkes and yes. I
have several. Are you for real
mocking my religion right now? Do
you have a problem with Judaism?

SOPHIE
Y’all got me all wrong, I think
those little hats are sexy.

SEAN
(Perking up) Oh.

EXT. GELLMANSION POOL - AFTERNOON

The pool is large and features a waterfall. It’s paradise out

here, from the lush palm trees to the cool blue water. Corky
and Sean are now both wearing yarmulkes on their heads.
 27.

CORKY
Heated pool, hot tub, sauna. Pool
boy comes Tuesdays and Thursdays.
He’s Bronson Pingo’s kid, actually.

SEAN
You use Skyler too? Skyler’s the
best.

CORKY
He is. It’s a salt water pool but
it only takes pink, organic,
Himalayan, sea salt.

SOPHIE
Who’s Bronson Pingo?

SEAN
Strangers with Benefits?

SOPHIE
Is that a band?

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - AFTERNOON

Broken guitars line the walls. The studio is full of

intricate equipment that’s been torn to shreds.

CORKY
This is my recording studio.

SOPHIE
What happened?

CORKY
I guess I just got frustrated or
something. I’m kind of a
perfectionist.

SOPHIE
Wow. So you know how to work all of
this stuff?

CORKY
Yeah, but it’s not a big deal or
anything. The only reason I know
how to twist all these knobs and
buttons is cause I’ve been making
music since I was a kid.

SOPHIE
Can you play all these instruments?
 28.

SEAN
Corky’s a musical savant. He can
play anything. He’s self-taught.

SOPHIE
Impressive.

CORKY
Aw, shucks.

INT. CORKY’S BEDROOM - AFTERNOON

Corky’s bed is massive. It’s draped in the finest linens and

blanketed with the rarest of fabrics. A large mirror adorns
the ceiling, covering the expanse of the bed. Statues of nude
women hide in the corners of the room, between tall bureaus
and several coat racks necessitated for his wide assortment
of faux-leather, animal-friendly jackets.

CORKY
This is where the magic happens.

SOPHIE
You do magic?

CORKY
Actually, yes. I dabble. Slight of
hand, mostly... here, you got
something in your ear.

He pulls a quarter out from behind Sophie’s ear and shows it

to her.

SOPHIE
That quarter was in my ear?

CORKY
Yeah.

SOPHIE
Then give it back, that’s my
quarter.

CORKY
What, no.

SEAN
First rule of Hollywood: finder’s
keepers.

SOPHIE
Damn.
 29.

CORKY
I’m gonna’ do some nitrous. You
want to try nitrous? It doesn’t
stay in your system.

SEAN
You piss it right out. It’s in
whipped cream. I think it’s legal.

SOPHIE
Yeah, I’ll do nitrous.

The three sit on Corky’s bed and pass around an apparatus

used for inhaling nitrous oxide from small, metal cartridges.
Sophie gets buzzed out of her mind and slowly falls back onto
the bed. She’s laying down and looking at the ceiling. She
stares at her reflection in a large mirror that hangs above
Corky’s bed. She notices how sad and tired she looks. It’s
been months since she’s laid down in a real bed.

Corky hovers over her and starts to kiss her mouth. He moves
to her neck and slowly makes his way down. Sean comes from
behind Corky and grinds against him. The two men kiss.

Sophie sits up and joins them, rubbing their bodies with her
hands. The three of them entwine as the camera slowly pulls
out of the room, granting their privacy. The door shuts and
we are forbidden from knowing what really goes on in Corky
Gellman’s bedroom.

EXT. GELLMANSION - SUNSET

The sun begins to set on the GellMansion, showing the passage

of time. It’s been a couple hours since last we checked in on
Corky, Sophie and Sean.

INT. CORKY’S BEDROOM - SUNSET

The three are cuddled together, naked, with Corky in the

middle. Sean jumps up, startled.

SEAN
Oh shit, what time is it?

He opens the blinds and looks out the window to see the sun
going down.

SEAN (CONT’D)
Oh fuck, Christine is gonna’ kill
me!

He puts his clothes back on in record time.

 30.

SOPHIE
Wait, are you married?

SEAN
I’ll find out when I get home!

Sean runs out of the room and down the stairs. We hear his
car’s engine roar as he peels out of the driveway and speeds
home.

CORKY
Hey listen. That was all...
consensual, right?

SOPHIE
Oh, uh, yeah. I think so. I’m
pretty liberal, sexually.

CORKY
Oh great, that’s great.

SOPHIE
You don’t have like, any diseases,
do you?

CORKY
Sexual diseases? Uh... no. Not to
my knowledge.

SOPHIE
Same. Do you know about... Sean?

CORKY
Oh, Sean has AIDS.

SOPHIE
That’s not funny.

CORKY
I’m sorry, you’re right. I’m sure
he’s clean. He usually doesn’t
really mess around outside his
marriage. Except for today. And
maybe a couple other times. I think
he might have done hand-stuff with
Stefan Baldwinkle once. Allegedly.
Before he got the Hannah Montana
tattoo.

SOPHIE
Sean has a Hannah Montana tattoo?
 31.

CORKY
No, Stefan Baldwinkle does. You can
Google it, it’s true.

SOPHIE
Who the fuck is Stefan Baldwinkle?

INT. CORKY’S KITCHEN - DUSK

Corky is shoving fork-loads of a hastily made, epic salad

down his throat.

SOPHIE
So what’s the rest of the night
look like?

CORKY
You have the run of the house. I’ll
be down in the basement.

SOPHIE
You never showed me a basement.

CORKY
I wasn’t sure I could trust you
before. Come on. I’ll show you now.

Corky walks her to the pantry. He opens it up. Inside the

pantry is a red door with many padlocks on the outside of it.
One by one he unlocks all the padlocks. He opens the door
slowly. Only blackness is visible from within.

INT. BASEMENT - DUSK

Corky leads Sophie down a thin, winding staircase into a dark

basement. There are straps and chains connected to a wall.
There’s a movie screen covering one of the walls farthest
from the chains. There are many chewed up dog toys all
around. The walls are covered in a hastily applied sound-
proofing foam.

SOPHIE
This isn’t a basement, it’s a sex
dungeon.

CORKY
I like to sleep down here a couple
nights a month. Keeps me
spiritually centered.

SOPHIE
Kinky.
 32.

Corky starts taking off his clothes.

SOPHIE (CONT’D)
Again? So soon? I’m down.

She begins taking off her clothes.

CORKY
No. No, no. Stop.

Corky slips on a large, adult diaper.

SOPHIE
Oh, so it’s like that. Listen, I
think you’re great and I want the
job and all, but I don’t do scat
play. At least not on the first
date.

CORKY
Believe me, this is not a sex
thing. You go back upstairs and
lock every single one of those
locks. Don’t come down here again
until it’s morning, okay? When the
sun is up.
He starts guiding her toward the stairs.

SOPHIE
Is this a joke?

Corky glares at her.

SOPHIE (CONT’D)
Okay, okay, jeez.

He puts a massive leather collar around his neck and tightens

it, though it’s still kept quite loose (room to grow). She’s
at the foot of the stairs staring at him, actively not
leaving.

CORKY
No matter what you hear, this room
is off limits.

SOPHIE
Got it.

Corky fills up a large water dish from a spigot attached to

the wall.
 33.

CORKY
If I see you tonight, at all, even
for a second, you’re fired.

SOPHIE
You don’t have to keep telling me.

CORKY
I just need to make sure we are
crystal clear.

SOPHIE
Couldn’t be clearer. I can eat
whatever’s in the fridge?

CORKY
Go for it. Just not any of the
Lunchables. My kid is here every
other weekend, they’re for him.
They’re all he eats.

Corky slips a thick metal chain into his collar and locks it
in.

SOPHIE
Oh, fun! I’m sure we’ll all get
along just fine, I love children.

CORKY
He’s twenty. All right then. Go
make yourself cozy. Have a nice
night. Make sure and lock those
locks.

SOPHIE
I will.

CORKY
Feel free to use the hot tub. But
only for fifteen minutes at a time.

SOPHIE
I know.

CORKY
Have fun.

SOPHIE
That’s the plan.

CORKY
Good night.
 34.

SOPHIE
Sweet dreams.

CORKY
Why are you still down here?

She awkwardly makes her exit up the stairs.

INT. CORKY’S LIVING ROOM - EARLY EVENING

Sophie is sitting on the couch, munching on a pile of

Lunchables. She’s watching a teenaged Corky Gellman movie on
one of his massive flat screen TV’s. Down in the basement,
Corky is screaming loudly, painfully, at the top of his
lungs. She does her best to ignore him. Eventually his
screams turn into animalistic growls.

SOPHIE
What is going on down there?

INT. GELLMANSION BATHROOM - NIGHT

Sophie is brushing her teeth. She’s applied an oxidizing

facemask. A towel is wrapped in a turban around her hair.
Corky is screaming the word no, over and over again, his
voice getting deeper each time he does. Sophie spits out her
toothpaste and rinses her brush. She takes a good hard look
at herself.

SOPHIE
Rich people are so weird.

INT. GUEST BEDROOM - NIGHT

Sophie is laying in bed, swiping through pictures of her son

Jameson on a smartphone. An animal is howling in the
basement. She clicks off her phone’s screen and tries to
sleep. She covers her ears with a pillow but it’s no use.

SOPHIE
Fuck it. Fuck this. I have to know.
I have to know what’s making that
fucking noise.

INT. GELLMANSION LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Sophie creeps down the stairs as quietly as she can, all the
while whispering to herself.
 35.

SOPHIE
I’ll just peek my head in and make
sure Corky’s okay. He’ll never
notice. In and out. That’s what she
said. I crack myself up. God, I’m
such a corn dog. Man, I’d kill for
a corn dog right now.

INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT

Sophie enters the pantry and unbolts all of the locks. She
opens the door to Corky’s basement.

INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT

Sophie crouches and looks past the railing down the stairs.
She is very alarmed by what she sees. An inhuman howl blows
through her hair and sends goosebumps crawling all along her
body. We do not see what she is looking at. She has never
seen anything like it.

SOPHIE
Jesus Hoobastank Christ.

INT. CHILD SERVICES - MORNING

Almost a full month has elapsed in time. Sophie looks

happier, better, cleaner, healthier. Her clothes are nicer.
Her hair has been trimmed and quaffed. She sits across from
the same social worker she had previously been talking to.
The Child Services Advocate casually sketches down comments
in a folder during their conversation. Sophie’s eyes are
locked on Jameson, who sits on the other side of a two way
mirror, crashing toy cars into each other.

Along the bottom of the screen it reads: One month later

CHILD SERVICES ADVOCATE

Well, your drug test came back
negative, so that’s a plus... Where
have you been staying?

SOPHIE
A house in Reseda.

CHILD SERVICES ADVOCATE

For how long now?

SOPHIE
Almost a month.
 36.

CHILD SERVICES ADVOCATE

And you’re working?

SOPHIE
Steady, yeah.

CHILD SERVICES ADVOCATE

Where at?

SOPHIE
The home where I’m living. I’m the
personal assistant for the man who
owns it.

CHILD SERVICES ADVOCATE

And what does that entail?

SOPHIE
Oh I do everything. Cooking,
cleaning, I make appointments, book
conventions, report mean tweets.

CHILD SERVICES ADVOCATE

No sex work? That’s all in the
past?

SOPHIE
Never again. Forever, yeah. I’m not
going back to that. Ever. I like
this job. I’m good at it.

CHILD SERVICES ADVOCATE

I’m glad to hear that. You’ve come
a long way.

SOPHIE
So that means...

CHILD SERVICES ADVOCATE

I’ll have a talk with my supervisor
about potentially extending your
visiting hours. I think it’s a real
possibility.

SOPHIE
Oh, wow, it’s just... I want him
back. Like, back-back. I already
missed his first words... his first
steps-

CHILD SERVICES ADVOCATE

We do things one step at a time
here, Sophie. It’s safer for the
child this way.
(MORE)
 37.

CHILD SERVICES ADVOCATE (CONT’D)

You stay at that address in Reseda,
with this job, for six months, and
then maybe we can discuss
renegotiating your custody
arrangement with the child’s
father.

SOPHIE
Six months? I’ve already missed so
much.

The Child Services Advocate sneers and writes something down

in a folder.

SOPHIE (CONT’D)
I mean, of course. I understand. I
appreciate for your patience with
me. Genuinely. You’ve got a kind
soul, I can tell that in a person.
I’m learning how to read auras.

The Child Services Advocate is stone faced. She will not

allow herself to be manipulated. SCOTT (a hunky TV actor from
the 1990’s, now aging gracefully in his early fifties) enters
the play area and affectionately picks up Jameson, who is his
and Sophie’s son. Sophie stares at him, seething with
resentment.

CHILD SERVICES ADVOCATE

Is everything all right, Sophie?

SOPHIE
Oh yeah. Everything’s great. I’m
great. Totally zen. Why do you ask?

EXT. CHILD SERVICES PARKING LOT - MORNING

Scott is loading Jameson into a car seat in a large,

pristine, white RV. Sophie storms out of the building. Their
son sees her and starts screaming his mother’s name. The
screams turn into cries. They are ignored.

SOPHIE
Scott!

SCOTT
What do you want, Sophie?

SOPHIE
Have they told you anything? I got
my shit together. I want to, I want-
 38.

SCOTT
You think I want this arrangement?
Do you think it’s my choice to keep
you from him?

SOPHIE
Well it’s not like you’re helping.

SCOTT
I did nothing but help you for two
years! And you know what it got me?

SOPHIE
A beautiful child who you love?

SCOTT
That’s not the point.

SOPHIE
I got a job, and a place to stay.
I’m doing really well.

SCOTT
I heard. You’re working for Corky
Gellman, right? You’re one of his
Heavenly Bodies now?

SOPHIE
I’m his personal assistant and I’m
really good at it. For once I’m
actually proud of what I’m doing.

SCOTT
That dude is a fucking train wreck.
I don’t want our son anywhere near
that place.

SOPHIE
Corky’s a good guy.

SCOTT
How many times has he been
arrested?

SOPHIE
Once. For weed. Which you smoke.

SCOTT
You know this isn’t up to me.
Listen, if you want to negotiate
custody you can talk to my lawyer.
 39.

SOPHIE
If you could just, we’re hosting a
dinner party tonight. If you could
just swing by and see what a
healthy atmosphere I’m living in
now.

SCOTT
A dinner party.

SOPHIE
Yes, a for real dinner party. It’s
going to be classy.

SCOTT
I doubt that.

SOPHIE
It’s a Boonies reunion. Everyone’s
gonna’ be there. Sean Aspen. Chug.
Floppy Disc. Slosh. Brolin.

SCOTT
Why would I come to a Boonies
reunion?

SOPHIE
They’re working on the sequel.
They’re finally gonna’ do it.
Steven Spielberg will be there and
there’s a half dozen non-Goonie
rolls they still have to fill. It’s
an incredible networking
opportunity.

SCOTT
Why would you try and help me get
work?

SOPHIE
Any time you get paid that’s money
for Jameson. A paycheck like this
could completely pay off his
college.

SCOTT
I prepaid his college the day we
found out you were pregnant.

SOPHIE
I just figured, maybe if you got
this role, maybe while you were on
set I could... I could be like,
Jameson’s babysitter. You know.
(MORE)
 40.

SOPHIE (CONT’D)
Not that I’m looking to get paid or
anything. I could just stay in your
trailer with him if you wanted.
It’s just... please. I miss him so
much.

Scott relents, more so for the sake of their child who is now
sobbing about its mother.

SCOTT
What time?

SOPHIE
Eight o’ clock.

SCOTT
How should I dress?

SOPHIE
Huh?

SCOTT
Formal-wear or casual?

SOPHIE
Oh, uh, casual.

SCOTT
Jorts?

SOPHIE
Ew, no. No jorts.

SCOTT
Interesting. Seemed like a jorts
crowd. Should I bring anything?
Bottle of wine? Champagne? Blunts?

SOPHIE
No, no. The GellMansion is one
hundred percent sober.

Scott’s intonation mocks the house of Gellman.

SCOTT
The GellMansion?

SOPHIE
Please be nice.

SCOTT
Okay, come give him a hug goodbye.

She embraces her son with tears in her eyes.

 41.

SCOTT (CONT’D)
That’s enough. Come on now. We’ve
gotta’ go. He’s got an appointment
at the Scientology center. Okay,
really, we’re already late.

She backs away, waving at her little boy who she loves so
much. Scott slams the rear door shut.

SOPHIE
Scott...

SCOTT
Yeah?

Scott walks over to the driver’s seat.

SOPHIE
Thank you.

Scott starts to get into the car but pauses to tell her
something.

SCOTT
Please don’t make me regret this.
Scott gets in, starts the car and pulls away. Sophie puts on
her serious face.

EXT. GELLMANSION - EARLY AFTERNOON

Sophie pulls into the driveway, frazzled and tense. As she

exits her car, the Paparazzi ambushes her, clicking away on
his camera.

PAPARAZZI
Hey Sophie, looking goooooood. Are
those new sandals? Let me snag a
couple shots a them piggies. Ooh,
pink toenails, bold choice.

SOPHIE
Would you fuck off, creep?

She enters the house, slamming the door behind her.

PAPARAZZI
You like it. They all like it.
 42.

INT. GELLMANSION BASEMENT - AFTERNOON

Sophie is filing away at the heavy leather strap that

connects Corky’s chained leash to the wall. She’s sweating
and has been at this for quite a bit. She blows the filed
dust off of it. We can see that it is torn but not yet
broken. Corky calls to her from upstairs.

CORKY (O.C.)
Sofe!

INT. GELLMANSION KITCHEN - AFTERNOON

Sophie enters from the pantry. Corky is staring at an empty

refrigerator.

CORKY
What were you doing down there?

SOPHIE
Just making sure everything is
ready for tonight.

CORKY
Speaking of which, I need to carb-
load like, an hour ago.

SOPHIE
Okay...

CORKY
Okay so there’s nothing in the
fridge but an old box of baking
soda.

SOPHIE
I will run to Trader Joe’s. What do
you want? Lucky O’s? Pumpkin mac
and cheese?

CORKY
There’s no time.

SOPHIE
I can order pizza.

CORKY
Okay but like, do it now.

SOPHIE
I’m right on top of that, Corky.
 43.

Sophie pulls out her smart phone and begins typing in her
order.

CORKY
Sophie, please listen to me and
know that this comes from my
heart... You gotta’ pull your head
out of your ass.

SOPHIE
I will.

CORKY
I’m serious. The first couple weeks
were great, but you’ve seemed
really distracted lately.

SOPHIE
I know. I’m sorry. I’ll do better.
I’m ordering the pizza now, I have
to concentrate.

CORKY
Vegan cheese.

SOPHIE
Obviously.

CORKY
And no onions.

SOPHIE
I know what you like.

CORKY
Do you?

EXT. GELLMANSION POOL - SUNSET

Corky and Sophie rest on patio furniture, wearing sunglasses,

eating vegan pizza.

CORKY
This is fine.

SOPHIE
Yeah.

CORKY
How are you gonna’ keep yourself
occupied while I’m downstairs
getting hairy?
 44.

SOPHIE
I think I saw a new A24 movie is
streaming on Peacock.

CORKY
Egh. They’re so pretentious.

SOPHIE
You have no taste but that’s
exactly why I’m not watching it
with you.

CORKY
I have immaculate taste.

There is a long silence while Corky miserably chews his food.

The quiet munching is interrupted by a ring from Corky’s
cellphone. Sophie answers the call.

SOPHIE
Corky’s Heavenly Bodies two point
oh, this is Dominique speaking, how
may I direct your call?

Sophie listens to the response on the other end of the phone.

She hands the phone to Corky.

SOPHIE (CONT’D)
It’s Sean.

Corky is eager to speak to his friend.

CORKY
Seanie baby!

INT. SEAN ASPEN’S BASEMENT - DUSK

Sean’s basement is cozy and kid friendly. Large dog toys

litter the floor. The walls are painted in cartoonish murals
of Sean’s family adventuring as hobbits. Christine is
leashing their children to the wall. The whole family is all
wearing matching snuggies. There is a large water trough
being filled below a running spigot.

SEAN
Gellmanator! Just checking to make
sure you’re prepared for tonight.

CORKY
Sophie’s taken care of everything.
Christine places a disc inside of a 4k blu ray player. A
projector begins playing nature scenes on the wall.
 45.

SEAN
She’s great, isn’t she?

Christine leashes herself to the wall.

CORKY
She’s all right.

EXT. GELLMANSION POOL - SUNSET

Sophie punches Corky playfully in the arm.

CORKY
Ow. That really hurt. I just got a
B12 shot there.

SOPHIE
Do you want me to apologize?

CORKY
Yes.

SOPHIE
I’m sorry. Do you feel better now?

CORKY
No.

INT. SEAN ASPEN'S BASEMENT - DUSK

SEAN
Sounds like you finally got things
in order over there. Have a nice
night, bud... love you too.

Sean hangs up and lovingly admires his wife.

CHRISTINE
I’ll bet you oral he ends up eating
that new assistant of his.

SEAN
I’ll take that bet. We don’t even
need to make a bet. I like doing
that. Please let me do that.

INT. GELLMANSION BASEMENT - NIGHT

Sophie is leashing Corky to the wall. He’s wearing a loose

fitting diaper.
 46.

CORKY
Dream Within a Dream ended up being
my most esoteric role to date, I
really put the work in. Haimster
and I did a screening at Neverland
Ranch and when MJ saw me dancing
down those bleachers he lost his
mind. It really validated the whole
method acting process, you know?

SOPHIE
I just don’t get, if it was an old
man who possessed your body, why
you would be dancing like Michael
Jackson?

CORKY
It’s a complex film, there’s no
need to feel embarrassed if you
didn’t understand each and every
little, the minutiae of it.

SOPHIE
I’m not embarrassed. Is that too
loose?

CORKY
Collar’s a little snug actually.
It’ll make more sense the next time
we watch it.

She adjusts the collar.

CORKY (CONT’D)
Perfect.

SOPHIE
You’re perfect.

CORKY
Aww.

SOPHIE
How many CBD gummies do you want?

CORKY
Six. No seven. No, let’s do six and
a half.

Sophie feeds him gummies one by one from a small white

container. The last gummy she bites in half, placing one
piece of it gently on his tongue as if it were a communion
wafer. She places the remainder back into the white
container. The door bell rings upstairs.
 47.

CORKY (CONT’D)
Who the hell is that?

SOPHIE
Probably just some girl scouts
selling cookies.

CORKY
This late at night?

SOPHIE
Jehovah's Witnesses? I don’t know.

CORKY
Well get rid of them!

SOPHIE
My pleasure.

INT. GELLMANSION LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

The doorbell rings again. Sophie opens the door. Scott is

standing there with a fruit basket in his hands.

SCOTT
Hey.

SOPHIE
You brought a fruit basket?

SCOTT
You said not to bring wine.

The Paparazzi is snapping pictures of Scott from the outside.

The flashes create a strobe effect on the GellMansion. Sophie
pulls Scott inside and slams the door shut.

SOPHIE
Where’s Jameson?

She takes the fruit basket from Scott and leads him through
the house.

SCOTT
At home with the babysitter. Where
is everybody? I only saw your car
parked out there.

SOPHIE
They’re on their way over.
SCOTT
All of them?
 48.

SOPHIE
Yeah, they’re in one of those party
buses.

SCOTT
You said this was an alcohol free
business meeting.

SOPHIE
Doesn’t mean they can’t pre party.

SCOTT
Shit!

He pulls out a little flask and takes a sip. He offers it to

her.

SCOTT (CONT’D)
Amontillado?

She gestures no with the wave of a hand.

SCOTT (CONT’D)
That’s right, you don’t drink
anymore. Good for you. Good for
you.

INT. GELLMANSION KITCHEN - NIGHT

Corky starts bellowing in agony from the basement.

SCOTT
What the fuck was that?

SOPHIE
Oh that’s Corky. He’s just
practicing for a role.

SCOTT
For Boonies two?

SOPHIE
It’s just called Boonies.

SCOTT
But it’s a sequel?

SOPHIE
It’s a soft reboot.
CORKY (O.C.)
Oh God! It hurts! It hurts!
 49.

SCOTT
Is this one a... torture porn?

SOPHIE
This one’s all about Mama
Fragelli’s revenge. It’s basically
just the blender scene from the
first one stretched out for like,
two hours.

SCOTT
There’s no way the lady who played
Mama Fragelli is still alive.

She opens the pantry.

SOPHIE
They’re doing a Star War and CG’ing
her back to life for this one. It’s
actually all very tasteful.

Sophie unlocks all the locks on the door to the basement.

Corky’s screams are excruciatingly loud. Sophie motions for
Scott to go downstairs. The father of her child gulps.

SCOTT
Steven Spielburgers is definitely
coming?

SOPHIE
He’s already down there. Who do you
think is directing Corky right now?

Scott slowly steps onto the basement stairs, his career

ambitions barely overcoming his fear.

CORKY
Oh God it hurts so bad! Oh God
please help me!

SCOTT
You know what, I think I’m gonna’
wait upstairs for everybody else to
arrive. I have a-

INT. GELLMANSION BASEMENT - NIGHT

Sophie shoves Scott down the stairs. He tumbles down hard,

landing on the basement floor with a thud. A bone protrudes
from his leg. She slams the door shut and locks its many
locks behind her.
 50.

SCOTT
Sophie!

CORKY
Sophie, what did you do?!

SCOTT
You bitch! What the-

Blood drips from Corky’s eyelids, his ears and the corners of
his mouth.

CORKY
No! No! No! You have to get out of
here!

Scott crawls towards his cellphone, which has tumbled away

from him. The screen is severely cracked. Scott’s in too much
pain, he can’t reach the phone. Corky cries out as sharp,
growing whiskers painfully pierce his cheeks.

SCOTT
Hey Google, call nine-one-one!

The cell phone’s screen light flickers.

SCOTT’S PHONE
All right. But first unlock the
screen if you’d like me to dial
nine-one-one.

SCOTT
Yo Corky, what the-

Corky’s eyes open. They glow yellow. His teeth grow into
fangs.

SCOTT (CONT’D)
Sophie! Sophie! I know you can
fucking hear me! You fucking cunt!
You god damned slut! Please!

Corky howls as the leash holding him back rips off the wall.

INT. GELLMANSION KITCHEN - NIGHT

Sophie listens in from the outside as Corky tears Scott to

shreds.

SCOTT (O.C.)
Please! No! Oh God! It hurts! Oh
God! Please! I’m so sorry! Please I
don’t want to die like this!
(MORE)
 51.

SCOTT (O.C.) (CONT'D)

I have a son! He’s just a toddler!
I’m begging you! Stop killing me,
I’m already dead! Everything Matt
Fox said about you was true... Oh
God! Oh God! Oh-

Scott’s gurgled laments are finally silenced. Sophie runs out

of the house.

EXT. GELLMANSION - NIGHT

Sophie locks the door behind her and briskly walks to her
car. The Paparazzi snaps away at her as she moves.

PAPARAZZI
Sophie honey, sweetie pie, was that
Greg Germann just now entering the
GellMansion? Are you and Corky
entering into a thruple with Greg
Germann, star of TV’s Ally McBeal?

SOPHIE
Get a job.

PAPARAZZI
You’re my job, sugar lumps. You,
and Corky.

She gets in, peels out and speeds away.

PAPARAZZI (CONT’D)
Ray Romano’s brother lives a few
houses down on this street, he’s my
job too. I actually recently took a
photo of an Asian-American disk
jockey, if you can believe that.

EXT. LA - NIGHT

The moon is full. Sophie weaves manically through traffic.

One of Corky’s songs is playing on her radio. She ejects the
CD and throws it out the window. There’s no accounting for
taste.

EXT. SCOTT’S RESIDENCE - NIGHT

Scott’s residence is upscale but not decadent. Sophie bolts

out of the car and bangs on the door. A voice addresses
Sophie from an intercom. It’s the BABYSITTER (late teens, an
apathetic rich kid working for fun money).
 52.

BABYSITTER (O.S.)
Hello?

SOPHIE
Uh, I’m here to pick up Jameson...
There’s been an accident.

BABYSITTER (O.S.)
What?

SOPHIE
Scott has been in an accident so
I’m here to take over babysitting
for you. You can go home now.

BABYSITTER (O.S.)
Are you the mom?

SOPHIE
What’s that?

BABYSITTER (O.S.)
Are you Jameson’s mom?

Sophie is afraid to answer the question and meets it only

with silence.

BABYSITTER (O.S.) (CONT’D)

I was told to call the cops if
Jameson’s mom ever showed up.

SOPHIE
No, I’m not, I’m not the mom.
I’m... from the hospital.

BABYSITTER (O.S.)
I’m going to have to call Mister-

SOPHIE
Go ahead, but you probably won’t
get through. He’s in surgery.

Sophie’s nerves eat her alive as she waits.

BABYSITTER (O.S.)
Nobody’s picking up.

SOPHIE
I know. I already said that.

BABYSITTER (O.S.)
Is he going to be okay?
 53.

SOPHIE
I can’t talk about that. HIPAA
regulations... But I’m sure he’ll
be fine or whatever.

BABYSITTER (O.S.)
Who’s going to pay me?

SOPHIE
What?

BABYSITTER (O.S.)
I don’t babysit for free, so who’s
paying me?

SOPHIE
How much does he owe you?

BABYSITTER (O.S.)
Well, two hundred for my time.

SOPHIE
Two hundred dollars? How long have
you been here?

BABYSITTER (O.S.)
And the kid puked on my shirt so
that’s an extra eighty.

SOPHIE
Eighty dollars for a shirt?

Sophie rifles through her purse.

BABYSITTER (O.S.)
Not everyone buys their clothes at
Walmart, lady.

Sophie pulls out a wad of cash and counts out two hundred and
sixty dollars.

SOPHIE
I’ve got it.

The door buzzes and unlocks. It opens. The Babysitter stands

in the doorway, mostly indifferent to the situation. She is
wearing an unimpressive, grey tank top with a small vomit
stain on it. She holds out her hand, waiting for money.

SOPHIE (CONT’D)
There’s no way that tank top is
worth eighty dollars.
 54.

BABYSITTER
It’s Gucci.

Sophie begrudgingly hands over the money.

BABYSITTER (CONT’D)
No tip?

Sophie gives her another twenty.

BABYSITTER (CONT’D)
Kid’s passed out upstairs but he’s
a real light sleeper. Usually wakes
up every couple hours screaming
about his mommy. Just ignore him,
he’ll go back down. Key for the
booze cabinet is under the cookie
jar on the shelf above the stove.

SOPHIE
Right. Thanks.

BABYSITTER
(Sarcastically) Nice car.

The Babysitter drives off. Sophie politely waves goodbye.

SOPHIE
Bitch.

INT. SCOTT’S RESIDENCE - NIGHT

Sophie runs into the house and searches for her son. The
walls are crowded with framed photos of Scott and Jameson,
happy together in a variety of locales all across the world.
There are toys and dolls stacked just about everywhere, as if
Jameson had played an equal hand in designing the home’s
interior.

INT. JAMESON’S ROOM - NIGHT

She eventually finds her child sleeping peacefully. A night

light illuminates his cherubic face. Sophie’s eyes grow moist
with tears of joy as she looks down upon everything she holds
dear. She finds a diaper bag in the closet and starts
stuffing it with Jameson’s clothes and belongings. Jameson
stirs. Sophie hovers over him, giddily.

SOPHIE
Wake up my little man. Mommy’s come
to take you home with me.
 55.

JAMESON
Mom... Mommy?

His eyes fill with terror.

SOPHIE
That’s right honey bear. And you’re
all mine now.

JAMESON
Mommy no, Mommy scary! I want
daddy! Daddy!

SOPHIE
No, no, honey. Mommy’s not scary.
Mommy loves you!

JAMESON
I don’t want Mommy! I want Daddy!

Jameson continues to sob and scream.

SOPHIE
Shhh, Shhh, it’s okay, it’s okay.

JAMESON
Mommy’s mean! I don’t like Mommy!

SOPHIE
No honey, Daddy’s mean. Daddy took
you away from Mommy!

JAMESON
Mommy hurts Jameson! I want Daddy!
I want Daddy! Dadd-

She gets frustrated and slaps her child.

SOPHIE
Shut up!

JAMESON
Daddy!

She shakes her son violently by the shoulders.

SOPHIE
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

The child’s screams turns to whimpers.

JAMESON
I want my Daddy...
 56.

She places a pillow over Jameson’s face and smothers him. His
limbs thrash helplessly. She removes the pillow once he’s
calmed down a bit.

SOPHIE
Now that’s a good boy. Please don’t
make Mommy hurt you again. Mommy
doesn’t like it when she has to
hurt you. My quiet boy. My quiet
little aaaangel.

She picks him up and walks through the house.

JAMESON
Mommy’s going to take you to a very
nice, big house, and Mommy and
Jameson will live happily ever
after. And you won’t ever have to
see scary, old Daddy ever again.

The child cries as silently as he’s able.

EXT. SCOTT’S RESIDENCE - NIGHT

The full moon looms huge. Sophie has no car seat. She
carelessly buckles Jameson into the back seat.

SOPHIE
Wave bye-bye to Daddy’s house,
sweetie.

Jameson sadly waves to his home as his heart breaks into a

million little pieces.

EXT. LA - NIGHT

Sophie drives like a crazy person. Jameson bounces around in

the backseat, scared.

SOPHIE
You get to sleep in a big, comfie
bed with Mommy from now on, doesn’t
that sound nice?

Jameson remains silent.

SOPHIE (CONT’D)
Do you like Ninja Tadpoles?
He’s too scared to answer.
 57.

SOPHIE (CONT’D)
Well... What do you like?

JAMESON
I like Daddy.

SOPHIE
I don’t care... I know, I am going
to show you Mommy’s favorite show.
It’s called Keeping Up With the
Kardashians. It’s about a bunch of
powerful girl bosses that are
sisters, but then they each get
tricked into marrying these mean
black men, so then they have to do
legal battles. It’s really good,
you’re going to love it. Kanye
plays the main bad guy on it. Do
you like Kanye?

JAMESON
I like Kanye.

SOPHIE
Not anymore you don’t. He is the
textbook definition of an n-word,
Jameson. Do you know what the n-
word is?

Jameson shakes his head no.

SOPHIE (CONT’D)
It’s a secret word that we’re only
allowed to say around other white
skinned people, or if we’re very
angry at a colored person. I’ll
teach it to you when you’re older.

Jameson is very confused and quite tired.

SOPHIE (CONT’D)
Now I’m not saying all blacks are n-
words, but if you saw all the nasty
things Kanye posts on his Instagram
about Pete Davidson, you’d
understand.

They remain in silence for the rest of their trip.

 58.

EXT. THE GELLMANSION - NIGHT

The gigantic, full moon hovers over the GellMansion. They

pull up and get out of the car. There is a loud howl that
fills the night sky.

SOPHIE
Don’t be frightened honey, that’s
just Mommy’s doggie friend.

She lifts her son out of the car and holds him on her walk to
the house. The Paparazzi pops out of the shadows and begins
taking photos. The harsh, flashing light scares Jameson who
begins to cry once again.

PAPARAZZI
Who’s the kid, Sophie? Is he yours
and Corky’s love child? Is Greg
Germann the real father, or just a
sperm donor?

She does her best to ignore the Paparazzi.

PAPARAZZI (CONT’D)
You still breastfeeding? Those fun
bags still perky, or you just
wearing a push up bra?

SOPHIE
That’s none of your business, God.

PAPARAZZI
It is my business, juggalicious.
What’s going on in there tonight
any way? Hearing a lot of hooting
and hollering.

Sophie unlocks the front door to the GellMansion and has a

thought.

SOPHIE
You want to come inside and take a
look?

PAPARAZZI
You’re actually inviting me into
thee GellMansion? Why would you do
that?

SOPHIE
It’s like Corky says, all publicity
is good publicity. Maybe you and I
just got off on the wrong foot.
 59.

PAPARAZZI
Baby, I’ll get off on any foot you
want.

SOPHIE
You are so gross.

She walks inside holding Jameson. The Paparazzi follows.

INT. GELLMANSION - NIGHT

The GellMansion is suspiciously quiet.

The Paparazzi snaps photos of everything he can. The house is

in complete disarray. Furniture is knocked over. The art on
the walls hangs crooked. Sophie’s so distracted by the events
of the evening that she doesn’t notice. She jogs upstairs to
put Jameson to bed.

SOPHIE
(To the Paparazzi) Wait right
there, I’ll be down in a sec.

The Paparazzi watches them go up. He wipes his fingers along

the railing of the staircase and retracts them to reveal
blood. He takes a picture of his red fingertips.

PAPARAZZI
Whatever you say, legs.

INT. SOPHIE’S ROOM - NIGHT

Posters of Corky’s biggest hits line Sophie’s walls. Sophie

lays Jameson on her bed and tucks him in beneath cheetah
print sheets.

There’s another long howl that comes from downstairs.

SOPHIE
Mommy’s going to go check on her
doggy friend, and then she’ll be
right back for snuggles, okay?

JAMESON
Is the doggy hurt?

SOPHIE
He’s just lonely. He needs to know
that he’s loved.

She gives her son a little stuffed Corky Gellman doll.

Jameson is frightened but doing his best to remain brave.
 60.

She goes to exit the room but Jameson calls out for her.

JAMESON
Mommy?

SOPHIE
Yes?

JAMESON
I’m scared of the dark.

SOPHIE
Ugh.

She turns on a TV for him. There is a graphically violent

horror movie playing. She doesn’t notice.

SOPHIE (CONT’D)
Okay?

JAMESON
UHHH-

She ignores him and shuts the door behind her.

INT. GELLMANSION - NIGHT

She walks back downstairs and starts to notice the subtle

disarray of the GellMansion. Papers are strewn all about and
there are claw marks on the walls. Couch cushions have been
torn open. She gets nervous when she realizes the Paparazzi
has vanished. She calls out for him.

SOPHIE
Hey, shit head. Asshole?

She searches for him to no avail.

INT. GELLMANSION KITCHEN - NIGHT

Sophie enters the kitchen and looks at the pantry, which is

still closed. She reaches out to open it, wondering if
perhaps the Paparazzi found the basement.

Instead, he pops out from behind her, blinding her with

flashes from his camera.

PAPARAZZI
You know, you’d be a lot prettier
if you smiled more often.
 61.

SOPHIE
What the fuck. I told you to wait
for me down there.

PAPARAZZI
I got bored. Oh, come on, it’s not
like I found anything good any way.
So what’s in there, snacks?

He takes a picture of the pantry.

SOPHIE
Corky’s super secret sex dungeon.
You want to see?

PAPARAZZI
You’re pulling my leg.

She opens the pantry and flinches when she notices the
padlocked basement door has been ripped open and smashed to
bits.

PAPARAZZI (CONT’D)
Spooky, I love it!

He snaps many flashing pictures of the dark basement.

SOPHIE
That’s not good...

She stares into the darkness for any trace of Corky but finds
none. She hears something scamper downstairs.

SOPHIE (CONT’D)
Corky?

PAPARAZZI
Corky, buddy! Pal! Amigo! You in
there? You got a fun little gimp
suit on or something?

Something scampers down below once again.

SOPHIE
It’s okay puppy, it’s just Sophie.

PAPARAZZI
Puppy? I love it! I knew you two
had like a furry vibe going on.
Zoophile, whatever. Hey, no
judgement here, I’m a part of the
LGBTQ+ community myself,
specifically the plus. I’m what
they call a try sexual.
(MORE)
 62.

PAPARAZZI (CONT’D)
You know what that means? You ever
heard of a try sexual before?

He takes another picture of her. She ignores him completely

as she takes one step onto a creaky basement stair. Jameson
screams from her upstairs bedroom.

SOPHIE
Jameson!

INT. GELLMANSION - NIGHT

Sophie sprints back upstairs in a flash. The Paparazzi

follows her, documenting everything she does in photograph.
He yells to her.

PAPARAZZI
It means I’ll try anything once! Do
you get it? I’m kind of serious!

INT. SOPHIE’S ROOM - NIGHT

Sophie kicks open the door to find a massive, werewolf Corky

Gellman growling as it hovers over her child. Foamy slime
drips from Corky’s jagged teeth. The famous
actor/musician/dancer has tripled in size since last we saw
him. He’s covered head to toe in fur. His massive, yellow
eyes watch Sophie.

SOPHIE
Corky... Corky... it’s me, Sophie,
remember? That’s just my baby,
Corky. Nothing to be scared of. You
hungry, buddy? You want me to make
you some mashed potatoes?

Corky barks aggressively.

SOPHIE (CONT’D)
It’s oookay. Everything is allll
right.

She reaches toward her son. Corky chomps at her fingers and
continues to growl. The Paparazzi storms in behind Sophie and
begins snapping pictures. Corky is not a fan of the strobe
light effect.

PAPARAZZI
Wowwie wow wow wowzers! Corky
Gellman owns a bear? I mean, I
heard the rumors, but I never
thought-
 63.

SOPHIE
We’re friends Corky. Remember? Now
this is no way to treat a friend.

Corky’s attention goes back down toward Jameson. Corky licks

his jagged teeth. The Paparazzi is focused on taking as many
pictures as he can.

PAPARAZZI
You’d better get in there and save
your boy, that thing looks hungry!

SOPHIE
Get away from him you bitch!

Sophie throws a lamp at Corky. It hits him, smashes to

pieces, but causes him very little pain.

PAPARAZZI
That looked great, can you do it
again?

She throws a vase with flowers in it, but it misses,

shattering on the wall behind Corky. Jameson screams and
cries. Corky lunges toward Sophie. She runs out of the room,
leaving the door open behind her. The Paparazzi stands his
ground as if he were an auteur director filming a movie.

PAPARAZZI (CONT’D)
You’re gorgeous, Booboo. Just
gorgeous.

She runs down the stairs. The wolf jumps over the railing and
lands effortlessly on the first floor. She walks backward up
the stairs as the wolf stalks her. It swings its paw at her,
as if it were a cat playing with its prey.

SOPHIE
Corky, please. Corky, I didn’t mean
it... I’m not trying to hurt you...
Corky, I know you’re in there,
please hear me.

She continues backing up to the top of the stairs and runs

toward her bedroom. She slams her door shut just before the
wolf reaches it. She locks the door and runs to her child,
scooping him up. Jameson clings to her, terrified. The
Paparazzi is still taking photos of all this, completely
detached from reality.

SOPHIE (CONT’D)
It’s okay honey.
 64.

She opens the window to her room and looks at the long drop
to the grass below.

SOPHIE (CONT’D)
You just hold tight to Mommy and
we’ll go out the window and that
silly old dog won’t catch us.

There’s a powerful thump at her door. Jameson lets out a

guttural groan as he sobs.

JAMESON
I don’t wanna’ go out the window
Mommy, I’m scared!

SOPHIE
I told you honey, there’s nothing
to be scared of, that’s just a
silly, old dog.

PAPARAZZI
Kid, don’t listen to your mom,
she’s full of shit, that ain’t no
dog, you should be pissing your
pants right now.
SOPHIE
Shut up! I hate you! Do you even
realize how awful you are?!

PAPARAZZI
You’re beautiful when you’re angry,
have I told you that?

The wolf hurls itself through the door, reducing it to

splinters. Corky pounces on the Paparazzi, knocking him to
the ground with a thud and feasting on the photographer’s
face.

SOPHIE
No, no, no! Bad dog, bad dog.

The wolf barks at her. It drops the half-headed, twitching

Paparazzi and approaches Sophie and Jameson, backing them
into a corner.

SOPHIE (CONT’D)
Please don’t hurt us... Just leave
us alone... Okay, just... He’s all
I got, Corky... You know what it’s
like, you know what it’s like, you
have a son. Think of-
 65.

The wolf effortlessly claws the skin off of her face. She
staggers back.

SOPHIE (CONT’D)
Okay, okay, you win... Just don’t,
I just don’t want you to hurt me
anymore, okay? You can do what you
want with him. Here-

She offers up her son to the beast. Corky jumps on her. She
drops Jameson. He tumbles to the floor before climbing onto
the bed and hiding under the covers, soaked in his mother’s
blood. We stay under the covers with him as he hears
everything. Sophie screams. With another swift strike of the
wolf’s claw, Sophie finds her entrails spilling out from her
torso. She does her best to collect them and stuff them back
inside of her.

SOPHIE (CONT’D)
What did I ever do to you, huh?
What did I ever do to deserve this
shitty fucking life?

The wolf claws off one of her arms. It falls to the floor and
splatters alongside her intestines. Her legs tremble in fits
of seizures. She falls to her knees.
SOPHIE (CONT’D)
You were given everything... and I
was born with nothing, and this is
what I get?

The wolf begins chewing on her intestines.

SOPHIE (CONT’D)
God please save me, please, God.

The wolf pounces on her and bites her throat.

SOPHIE (CONT’D)
Okay... Okay... Stop eating me,
seriously... God.

She drowns in her own blood. Her eyes roll back into the back
of her head. The wolf fills its belly with torn chunks of her
carcass. When it’s hunger is satiated, the wolf turns its
attention toward the quivering heap of blankets on the bed.
Jameson urinates. The pee drips to the floor and alerts Corky
to the boy’s presence.

The wolf climbs up onto the bed slowly, using its teeth to
tug away the blanket that’s covering Sophie’s child. The boy
is paralyzed with fear.
 66.

The wolf stands over Jameson, who is drenched in his mother’s

blood. The wolf begins licking Jameson clean. It tickles.

EXT. GELLMANSION POOL - MORNING

Five years later.

There’s a pool party going on at the GellMansion for

Jameson’s eighth birthday party. He’s dressed just like a
little Corky Gellman, with a spiked leather jacket and a
black fedora. There’s a small scar above his right eye that
will be there for the rest of his life.

Christine Aspen brings out a cake with eight lit candles on

it. All the party goers sing Happy Birthday to the boy, or if
for legal reasons they can’t sing that, then one of Corky’s
more festive bangers. Jameson blows out his candles and makes
a silent wish. Corky cuts the first slice of cake for his
adopted son. Jameson seems sad.

CORKY
You make a wish?

OLDER JAMESON
Yeah.

CORKY
What’d you wish for?

OLDER JAMESON
I can’t tell you or it won’t come
true.

CORKY
That’s right, that’s right... Say,
how’d you get so smart?

OLDER JAMESON
That’s how you raised me.

Corky embraces his adopted son, removes Jameson’s hat and

kisses the top of his head.

EXT. GELLMANSION POOL - AFTERNOON

The party has died down. A few kids linger in the swimming
pool. Corky and Jameson rest on the patio furniture.

JAMESON
Dad?
 67.

CORKY
Yes, Jameson?

JAMESON
What was my Mom like?

CORKY
She was...

Corky takes a moment to make sure his answer is phrased

delicately.

CORKY (CONT’D)
She was pretty hot. Not like, super
hot, but she was like an eight.
Eight point five. High eight point
five. Could’ve been a ten but she
had coffee stains on her teeth.

JAMESON
But what was she like? How did she
act?

CORKY
How does any woman act?
JAMESON
I don’t know.

CORKY
Nobody knows. They’re an enigma.
Man is not meant to understand the
inner workings of the feminine
species. We’re just here to admire
their beauty and use them as we see
fit. Cause they sure as hell do the
same to us.

Christine has been cleaning up the paper plates and plastic

cups littered all around them. She’s heard their entire
conversation.

CHRISTINE
You can be such an asshole, Corky.
Jameson, don’t listen to your
father. He’s completely full of
shit. Your Uncle Sean told me that
your mother was a very kind woman
who loved you very much. And I love
you very much too.
She kisses Jameson on the cheek and glares at Corky before
walking away into the distance to toss her collected rubbish
into a trashcan.
 68.

CORKY
Sean only said those nice things
about your mother because she
sucked his dick.

INT. GELLMANSION BASEMENT - NIGHT

The basement has been painted to look much more childish now.
Bright murals of Corky and Jameson line the walls. A cartoon
fox and a hound play together on a massive video screen.
Corky and Jameson both wear heavy, loose, zip-up, full bodied
pajamas. Corky is locking a furry collar around Jameson’s
neck.

JAMESON
Dad?

CORKY
Yes, Jameson?

JAMESON
Do you like being famous?

Corky thinks before answering.

CORKY
I enjoy being famous, but I don’t
think it’s been very good for me.

JAMESON
Why?

CORKY
Sometimes I don’t know who I can
trust... aside from you and your
older brother. And your Uncle Sean.
It just feels like everyone wants
something from me. Like an entire
crowd of people is reaching out
their hands toward me, begging to
be pulled up, but then when I try
to, they just drag me down with
them...

JAMESON
I don’t think I want to be famous.

CORKY
I am so proud of you.
 69.

INT. SYNAGOGUE - DAY

Five years later.

The synagogue is packed with Corky’s friends and family. All

of the men in attendance are adorned with yarmulkes. Thirteen
year old Jameson is on stage, reading aloud the Torah at his
Bar Mitzvah. A traditionally dressed Rabbi stands behind him,
nodding along, impressed with the hard work his student has
put in.

Corky sits in the audience with grey in his hair and tears in
his eyes. Crow’s feet have finally formed on his face. Sean
sits next to him, holding his hand.

THIRTEEN YEAR OLD JAMESON

Ba-r’chu et a-do-nai ha-m’vo-rach.

THOSE IN ATTENDANCE
(In unison) Ba-ruch a-do-nai ha-
m’vo-rach l’o-lahm va-ed.

SEAN
(Whispering to Corky) He’s killing
it, bro.

INT. RONALD REAGAN HIGHSCHOOL GYMNASIUM - AFTERNOON

Five years later.

EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD JAMESON is valedictorian at his posh,

Hollywood high school graduation. The third of the crowd
closest to the stage are all soon-to-be graduates in matching
robes and caps.

EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD JAMESON

We must steadfastly remain brave
and true. We must hold on to what’s
dear in our hearts. As my father,
the famous actor, dancer and singer
Corky Gellman, once told me,
“Believing is one of the most
powerful things we can do in this
world. If we believe in something
enough, and we have faith, we can
make our wildest dreams a reality.”

The audience falls into a stunned silence.

EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD JAMESON (CONT’D)

Ronald Reagan High School Football
Rules!
 70.

The audience erupts. Eighteen year old Jameson begins dancing

(awesomely) in a manner similar to his adopted father’s in
the film Cool Dudez Highschool Forever.

EXT. RONALD REAGAN HIGHSCHOOL GYMNASIUM - LATE AFTERNOON

Proud graduates mingle outside with their families. Corky is

chatting politely with fans. Several ask for selfies with him
and he happily obliges. Eighteen Year Old Jameson approaches
Corky with STELLAN (a hulking, eighteen year old emo boy) by
his side.

JAMESON
Dad? I’d like you to meet Stellan.

CORKY
Howdy Stellan. Put er’ there. Any
friend of Jameson’s is a friend of
mine.

Stellan ignores the handshake offer.

STELLAN
(Morosely) Hey.

JAMESON
Dad... Stellan is... more than just
a friend.

STELLAN
Yeah.

Corky lowers his hand.

CORKY
Oh shit. You... you don’t like
girls?

JAMESON
I mean, I like them just fine.

CORKY
But you don’t crush pussy?

JAMESON
I’m a power bottom, dad.

CORKY
That’s great! I mean, I don’t know
if you needed to get into that
level of detail, but I’m fine with
it.
 71.

JAMESON
Why wouldn’t you be?

CORKY
I wouldn’t! Homophobia’s not even a
thing any more. Since we live in
the future.

STELLAN
Do you have any gum?

CORKY
I wish I did!

INT. GELLMANSION - EARLY EVENING

Ten years later.

A silver haired Corky Gellman celebrates Hannukah with TWENTY

EIGHT YEAR OLD JAMESON, TWENTY EIGHT YEAR OLD STELLAN (still
emo), and Corky’s new, biracial granddaughter. Corky is in
heaven as his granddaughter bounces on his lap.

CORKY
(In a silly, little voice) Pizza!
Pizza!

BABY
Pizza!

TWENTY EIGHT YEAR OLD STELLAN

Oh my God, did she just say he
first word?

TWENTY EIGHT YEAR OLD JAMESON

Do it again! Do it again!

BABY
Pizza! Pizza!

The three men cheer. Corky hugs his granddaughter.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - NIGHT

Twenty years later.

Corky is an old man dying in a hospital bed. Tubes are up his

nose and plugged into his veins. He is very weak and tired.
Old man Sean Aspen sits beside the bed, tears welling in his
and Corky’s eyes. They know that this will be the last time
their paths cross on this mortal plane. They hold hands. Sean
is dressed ridiculously in stereotypical 80’s future garb.
 72.

SEAN
I’ll always love you, brother.

CORKY
I’ll always be... in here... when
you need me...

Corky points to Sean’s heart. Sean hugs Corky, who is

physically pained by the display of heartfelt emotion.

FIFTY YEAR OLD JAMESON enters the room with FIFTY YEAR OLD
STELLAN (who is still the same exact brand of emo he was in
high school). Jameson places his hand on Sean’s shoulder.
Sean turns around and hugs him. Sean turns back to Corky.

SEAN
Goodbye, old friend.

CORKY
Goodbye.

Sean leaves. Jameson lovingly fixes his father’s thin,

scraggly hair. He holds Corky’s frail hand.

JAMESON
Dad...

CORKY
Jameson... I need you to tell me
something.

JAMESON
Shh... you need to save your
energy.

CORKY
It’s too late for that now... I
have to tell you... about your
father...

JAMESON
I already know everything about
you, Dad. I did my college thesis
on your first memoir,
Corkyographry.

CORKY
No... not me... your biological
father...

JAMESON
You’re not... you’re not my real
dad?
 73.

CORKY
Of course I’m your real dad...
but... there was an actor...
Scott... something... from Party of
Friends and... Triple Dragons...
He... he was a good man... Your
mother... She brought him to the
GellMansion during a full moon...

JAMESON
No, no. This can’t be-

CORKY
She had... set me free... she
trapped your father... wanted me to
kill him, but... she couldn’t
control me... I ate them both...
and found you... in the morning...
with that tiny scratch above your
eye... I must have nicked you-

JAMESON
You mean I wasn’t born a werewolf?

Corky shakes his head no.

CORKY
I am so... so... sorry... I’ve kept
it from you for all these years...
I was scared... that if you found
out... you wouldn’t love me
anymore...

JAMESON
That’s crazy! Of course I still
love you, Dad. And there’s nothing
to forgive. That wasn’t your fault.

CORKY
I don’t... deserve you...

JAMESON
You’ve been the best Dad in the
whole world.

CORKY
I’m so... proud... of the man
you’ve become...

JAMESON
I did it all for you.

CORKY
I... love you...
 74.

CORKY (CONT’D)
I love you too, Dad. Dad? Daddy?

Corky has passed away. He is finally at peace. His monitor

flatlines. The nursing staff rushes in, but it’s already too
late. Distraught, Jameson howls sadly into the night sky.

INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY - NIGHT

Old Sean and Old Christine are comforting Corky’s adult

granddaughter, the child of Jameson and Stellan. They hear
Jameson’s howls and understand what has transpired.

The three mourners stand and howl in unison with their

werewolf brethren.

EXT. AMERICA - NIGHT

We see shots of the suburbs, the cities and countryside as an

alert comes over the radio.

RADIO ANNOUNCER
This just in, we have a breaking
news story. Legendary recording
artist and actor, Corky Gellman,
has passed away from natural causes
at the ripe old age of ninety two.
He was surrounded by loved ones.
Though he is most famous for the
artistic works he crafted in the
latter years of his life, he first
rose to prominence as an
internationally celebrated child
star. Tonight, a nation mourns. In
memoriam, We will be playing
selections from Corky’s expansive
discography throughout the week.

Citizens all over America step outside to pay their respects

to Corky. They howl at the night sky.

EXT. WORLD - NIGHT

All across the world, Israel, Africa, Switzerland, people

step outside. Those with different nationalities, religious
creeds and political beliefs put their differences aside to
hold hands and howl at the moon as one. Corky’s death has
united the planet.
 75.

EXT. MOON - NIGHT

An ASTRONAUT is walking on the moon. He hears something. He

looks up to the sky, at the Earth. He can hear the howling
from all the way out in space. He immediately understands
what’s happened.

ASTRONAUT
Rest in peace, Corky Gellman.

The Astronaut howls into the night sky.

Fade to black.

ROLL CREDITS

As the credits roll, we slowly zoom in on a large television.

There’s a reality show on called DANCING WITH THE KIDS OF THE
STARS.

ANNOUNCER
Tonight on Dancing With the Kids of
the Stars we have our finalists,
Corky Gellman and his youngest son,
Jameson Gellman!

Corky and eight year old Jameson come out to much fanfare.
They perform a beautifully choreographed, pop-and-lock dance
routine in matching black fedoras. The crowd goes wild. Corky
and Jameson’s moves are dazzling if not outright amazing.

ANNOUNCER (CONT’D)
I don’t even think we need our
judges to weigh in!

We cut to the judges, who are in complete of the performance.

SIMON COWELL
Who the fuck is going to compete
with that? Everyone else, go home
and kill yourselves. You’re all
losers.

ANNOUNCER
By a landslide, your winners are...
Corky and Jameson Gellman!

Ticker tape drops from the sky. Corky and Jameson are hoisted
up into the air by the hundreds of attendees in the audience
who have all rushed the stage. Everyone goes home happy,
except for WASHED UP 90’S CELEBRITY and his son who look on
despondently from the wings. They are wearing matching, hot
pink spandex jumpsuits.
 76.

WASHED UP 90’S CELEBRITY

(To his son) You blew it, you
little piece of shit. I should’ve
let your mom get that abortion.

Freeze frame on Corky and Jameson triumphantly celebrating.

Long live Corky Gellman.