1 EXT. HAUNTED HOUSE.

NIGHT 1
Establish a typically American-style haunted house.

2 EXT. HAUNTED HOUSE - FRONT DOOR. NIGHT 2

All is eerily serene. We zero in on a pretty hedge.

Closer and closer until...

POP! A head emerges out of the hedge. This head

belongs to KEV (late 20s). Covered in leaves and
scared to death.

KEVIN
(talking to hedge)
Are you sure this is it? Google
maps and I aren’t exactly
“friends.”
Another head pops out. An oversized novelty teddy
bear. This is LJ. THE OPENING TITLES WILL EXPLAIN THE
REST!
LJ
This is the place alright. I
can feel it in my... stuffing.
Time to bag us a demon.

KEV
(turning away from the
house)
OR... we could go home, hide
under a blanket and... cuddle.

LJ
(narrows eyes)
I’ll file that comment under
nerves. But if it happens again
I will be forced to eat that
sandwich you love.

KEV
(Offended) You’re not a real
bear. You can’t even chew.

LJ
I bet I could taste it though.
Bacon.
KEV
Look I’m not nervous, it’s
just... I never told you this
when you were alive but I’m
really-
 LJ
-Teddy bear confessional. Bye!

LJ disappears inside the house.

KEVIN
(sighing)
-really scared of ghosts.
Kevin takes a last look at safety then follows her
in.
ROLL CREDITS

3 INT. HAUNTED HOUSE FOYER. NIGHT 3

HARD CUT to stereotypical haunted house movie

furniture: dolls, lamps, wooden floorboards, long
hallways and clocks. Mixed amongst these creepy items
is a hilarious novelty trinket (ADJUST).
Montage of Kev and LJ doing ghost hunter stuff -
Kev’s fear building incrementally, trying
(unsuccessfully) to hide it from LJ. Finally LJ opens
a backpack - we expect to see some high tech
equipment but instead she pulls out an iPhone 4.
LJ
(handing phone to Kev)
- Kev I need you to walk down
that corridor and get the
readings with this device.
KEVIN
Yeah, ok, readings yep. Can’t
you do it?

LJ
I don’t have any hands Kev.

KEV
(stalling)
Fine, I just need to...
download the ghost finder app.

LJ
I already did it.
KEV
How did you manage that without
hands?

LJ
Don’t test me.
Kev looks to say more but knows not to argue with a
bear.

4 INT. HAUNTED HOUSE CORRIDOR. NIGHT 4

 Kev walks down the hallway pointing the phone at
everything - PHONE SCREEN is like a wi-fi locator or
find my phone app but with a cute animated ghost
making ‘woooo’ noises.
He gets readings from the trinket we saw earlier. Kev
picks it up and laughs. Suddenly creepy disembodied
giggles are heard all around.

KEVIN
(dropping trinket)
Nope. That’s me done.

Kevin walks to the door. It slams shut in front of

him. He grabs the door handle. It won’t open. CREEPY
GIGGLES

5 INT. HAUNTED HOUSE CORRIDOR. NIGHT 5

LJ
(suddenly appearing)
Did it possess you? How do
feel?

KEV
Well. I could really use a...

Goes to hug LJ. more CREEPY GIGGLES.

Kevin and LJ look around. Following the sound with

their eyes. Its coming from the behind...
They spin round to see the DEMOCAP (demonic
apparition) a girl with wild hair and flowing gown.
She floats gracefully towards Kevin. He is mesmerised
by her terrifying beauty.

KEVIN
(realising)
It looks just like you. Like
before... (you died)

Suddenly the DEMOCAP’s face distorts into unnatural

shapes, screeching like the devil’s nails on a
chalkboard.
LJ
(admitting)
Yeah - you’re right.

6 INT. HAUNTED HOUSE CORRIDOR. NIGHT 6

Kev is completely terrified almost catatonic,

rambling.

Meanwhile LJ’s bear eyes light up. Bright red. It

glows hotter and hotter. A pentagram appears on her
stomach.
 LJ (CONT’D)
Now.

KEVIN
Now what?!

LJ
Point me like a Care Bear!

Filled with madness, fear and rage, Kevin picks LJ up

and points her at the DEMOCAP. A red beam of light
emits from LJ’s stomach (just like a care bear). The
DEMOCAP immediately screams out in pain. It gets
sucked into LJ’s pentagram.

Gone.

7 INT. HAUNTED HOUSE CORRIDOR. NIGHT 7

There’s a beat of silence then Kev and LJ

simultaneously break out into dorky celebrations.

LJ (CONT’D)
(singing)
Take that/ take that/ take that
you stupid ghost.
KEVIN
(singing)
Take that/ take that/ take that
you stupid ghost.

Caught up in the emotion, Kev goes to hug LJ.

Her eyes light up blood red.

LJ
(DEMON VOICE)
Don’t touch me!

Kev falls over.

CUT TO BLACK