INT.

BOYS LIVING ROOM - DAY

The sound of a loud blender roars.

INSERT - A cellphone screen is about to message “Michelle” on

a dating app, with the message “Heyy Girl” After a brief
pause, the message gets deleted.

REVERSE - SAM, a socially anxious 25 year old guy stares

blankly at the cellphone screen.

JONNY, Sam’s over confident and under muscular roommate,

finishes blending his protein shake. He picks up the pitcher.

JONNY
You message her yet?

SAM
(defeated)
No… I don’t know what to say.

JONNY
You’re over thinking this.

SAM
No dude. I need to go on a date
with this girl. She’s like perfect
for me.

Jonny takes a sip straight from the blender and walks over to
the couch.

JONNY
Lemme see.

Sam hands the phone over to Jonny, Jonny begin looking

through Michelle’s profile.

POV Scrolling through profile.

JONNY (CONT’D)
Yea, she’s cute

SAM
She’s not cute, she’s beautiful.

POV continuing to scroll through the profile. Jonny reads one

of her “prompts” aloud.

JONNY
(soft giggle)
Together we can properly raise a
tomagachi. Funny.
 2.

SAM
(serious)
It’s hilarious and I’m love with
her.

Jonny hands back the phone.

JONNY
Ok… so what are you gonna say?

Jonny takes another big sip of his protein shake

SAM
I dunno… I was thinking of saying,
“Hey Girl.”

Jonny pauses - stops drinking mid sip.

JONNY
Hey Girl?

SAM
Yea, like,
(super chill)
“Hey Girl”

JONNY
Hey. Girl…?

SAM
Yea, and maybe with like 2 “y’s”

JONNY
Are you a fucking idiot?

SAM
(frustrated)
Yes! I suck at these fucking dating
apps. I hate them. Can you just
help me out.

JONNY
(sarcastic smirk)
Why do you want my help

Takes another sip of the shake

SAM
(obviously)
Uh…cause your good at this stuff

JONNY
And…
 3.

SAM
And what?

JONNY
Say it.

Sam rolls his eyes and takes a deep breath.

SAM
(Regretfully)
Because your the king-

JONNY
(cuts him off)
Because I’m the king. And the king
always helps those in need. Now
hand me your phone.

Jonny sticks out his hand. After brief hesitation, Sam hands
over his phone.

JONNY (CONT’D)
Ok, let’s see what we are working
with.

Jonny begins scrolling through the profile again.

JONNY (CONT’D)
The key to messaging on these apps
is to give the girl an excuse to
respond. You know how many losers
like you say “hey girl” to them a
day. Give them something fresh.
Always start with a question. You
are the fisherman, trying to get a
bite, all you need the right bait….
Aaaand BINGO

SAM
What?

Jonny turns the phone around to show Sam,

JONNY
She’s got a dog pic.

SAM
And.

JONNY
Do you have a dog pic?

SAM
No?..
 4.

JONNY
Jesus you’re an amateur. We’re
gonna need to get you one.

Jonny starts typing on the phone.

JONNY (CONT’D)
Google “cute doggie”

SAM
What are you doing?

JONNY
Juuust a sec… Aaand you officially
have a dog pic.

Jonny turns the phone around and shows the doggie pic on
Sam’s dating profile

JONNY (CONT’D)
Now your gonna send this.

Jonny types something up then hands Sam his phone back. Sam
reads what Jonny typed up.

SAM
(Reading)
“My pup told me he has a crush on
your pup. Should we set them up?”
(looks up)
But I don’t have a dog.

JONNY
You do now.

Sam reads over the line again.

SAM
That’s actually pretty good.

JONNY
Yea…I know. Now send it.

After a deep breath, Sam goes to click send.

SLOW MOTION CLOSE UP - Sam Dramatically clicks send.

Birds eye view of Sam and Jonny’s apartment building roof

quickly pulls out all the way to outer space and then pushes
back in to another buildings rooftop.
 8.
SABRINA (CONT’D)
He will respond to literally
anything you type. Now send the
fucking text.

After a moment of hesitation.

SLOW MOTION CLOSE UP - Michelle dramatically clicks send.

Once again, and birds eye view flying from Michelles roof, to
space, back to Sam’s rooftop. But faster this time.

INT. BOYS LIVING ROOM - DAY

DING! Sam grabs his phone from the table.

SAM
Holy shit, she responded.

JONNY
What’d she say?

SAM
“I don’t know, coco is a picky
bitch”

Sam hands Jonny the phone and Jonny reads the message.

JONNY
Oooh, Sassy. Me likey... Game on.

Jonny hands the phone back to Sam

SAM
What do we respond.

Jonny starts slowly pacing while closing his eyes, massaging

his temples, and reciting “I don’t know coco is a picky
bitch.” Then suddenly he stops and looks at Sam

JONNY
“Does she get that from her Mama”

SAM
Oh that’s good!

Sam starts typing.

JONNY
What the fuck are you doing!

SAM
I’m sending the line.
 9.

JONNY
No! You can’t respond that quickly!

SAM
Oh shit!

Sam deletes the message

JONNY
Did you just delete what you
wrote?!

SAM
Well, yea…

JONNY
FUCK! Now she’s gonna see the that
we were typing.

INT. GIRLS BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

MICHELLE
Oh my god he’s responding

SABRINA
Right away, ugh that’s desperate.

MICHELLE
He stopped typing.

SABRINA
Aww, he doesn’t know what to say.

INT. BOYS LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

JONNY
Fuck.. can’t make it look like
we’re thinking too hard about what
to say. Fuckit, send the text.

SAM
But you said-

JONNY
I said send the text!

Sam dramatically clicks send.

 11.

SABRINA
All dating app convos are about
dogs. We got ‘em by the balls.

Sabrina begins aggressively typing a message on the phone.

Her face is intense and focused.

In anime style, Sabrina’s thumb slams the send button.

BOYS LIVING ROOM

DING! Jonny stares blankly down at the phone. He turns toward

Sam.

Jonny lifts up the phone towards camera bringing it into

focus revealing the text.

MICHELLE (V.O.)
Heartbreaker? Prove it. Coco wants
to hear some dirty talk?

Jonny looks over at Sam from behind the phone.

JONNY
We’re in the endgame now…

SAM
What?! Does- does she want us to
talk dirty to her or the dog?

JONNY
Just send a few sexy barks

SAM
What the fuck is a sexy bark?!

JONNY
You know, like a normal bark but
sexy.

SAM
What? No. This is weird man, I’m
not doing that.

JONNY
There’s literally nothing weird
about this.

SAM
Wait? Have you done this before?!

JONNY
Lucky for you-
 12.

Jonny grabs the phone from Sam

JONNY (CONT’D)
Doggie talk is my specialty

CLOSE UP MONTAGE - Jonny clears his throat. Takes a deep

inhale. Clicks the record audio button.

Jonny proceeds to send some “sexy barks” and doggie growls.

INT. GIRLS BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

Jonny’s doggie noises continue as they come out of Michelle’s

phone. Michelle looks mortified. Sabrinas eyes light up.
She grabs the phone and slams the audio record button

Sabrina proceeds to respond with sexy barks and growls.

Aggressive Jazz music starts to build

Without even thinking Jonny immediately responds with more

aggressive barks and growls.

Sabrina begins aggressively typing

MICHELLE (V.O.)
Coco’s getting wet and mommy is
liking what she’s hearing.

Jonny begins aggressively typing

SAM (V.O.)
Well then tell coco’s grandmother I
say thanks, cause the apple doesn’t
fall far from the tree.

CLOSE UP - thumb slams the send button.

POV looking at cell phone - Within seconds a response comes

in. That reads -

MICHELLE (V.O.)
“Actually my mom’s dead”

Jazz music stops. Awkward silence. Sam peaks over and looks
at the message.

SAM
Dude…

Something gets their attention. Three dots on the screen.

She’s typing. DING! A new message is received