Canr-osFurxrss/Cru'c-lvloot- 997

pages and
Acapulco*-one way?-and a cheap notebook with graph-paper
marbleized-paper binding'
On the bus I venturei to rea.l it, in spite of the sharp curves' the stench
-of
of vomil and a certain natural feeling tutpect for the private iife of a
our daily
de.easei friend. It should be a record-lyes, it 6egan that rvay-of
otti..,ortir,u, maybe I'd find out what ciused him to neglect his duties, ',r'hy
The
he,d written menioran,la without rhyme or reason or any authorization.
reasons, in short, for his being firetl, his seniority ignored and his pension
lost.

I
. "Today I went to see about my pension' Lawyer extremely pleasant'
The
iuu, * nuppy when l.left that I decided to bir:w five pesos- at
a caf6.
same caf6 ir".,"ed to go to when we were young
and wher-e I never go now
because it reminds *" thut 1 tived better at twenty than I do at forry. we
,r.* ar then, energetically disco_urag-rn-g any urrfavorable remarks
"q*ls
about our cdassmates. in fait, we'd open fire on anyone in the irouse who so
much as mentioned ir"rferior background or lack of elegance.
I knew that
eaa,h> Fer"rf- of moJt humble ol.iginl 'vrould go far; and that
,.,^^y or us (perhaps those
here in schoolwewere forginglasting frimdships;
together we wouldbrave
;i;;.*y seas of iife. Birt it ctlctnt work_ o-ut that '*'aY. Someone, didn't
It n'as only- recently that Filiberto drowned in Acapulco. It happened during
Easter week. Even thougl"r he'd been firecl from hiJ gorr"***ni job, Eitiuerto
iollow the rules. Many of the iowly were.left behind, though some-climbed
affable get-
higher even than we cotild. have predicted in those high-spirited,
coulcin't resist the bureaucratic temptation to make-his airnual piigrimage to have'ihe rnost promise got stuck some-
i"[.tfr.*. Some who seemed to
the small German hotel, to eat sauerkraut sweetened by the's#eat oI the in some extracurricuiar-activity, isolated by
,rtere ulong the way, cut clown
tropical cuisine, dance away Hory sahrrday on La euebrada, and. feer he was triumphed and those who'd gone
an invisibiJ chasrn from those who'd
or-reof the "beautiful people" in the dim anonymity of dusk on Hornos
norvhere at all. Tcrclay, after all tl-ris tirne, i again sat in
the chairs*remod-
Beach. of course we all knew he'd been a goori swimmer when he was
young, but now at forty, and the shape hJwas i*, to try to swiin that cled,aswellasthesoclafountain,akirrclofbarricadeagainstinvasiorr_and
disiance, at ,ridnightl Frau M,ller *orl.t.t't allou, a wake in her hotel- preten,Jecl to read soine busincss PaPers' I saw many of tire old- faces' amne-
liac, changecl in the neon light, prosperous..Like the caf6,
which I barely
steady cu.elt o*r
lor ir-ist the opposite, she herd. a dance on irer stifling iittle
terrace whi-ie Filiberto,-r,ery pale in his coffin, awaited the departuru recognizei along with ihe city itself,.they'd been chipping away. at a pace
of th. they didn't recognize me now' or didn't wani to'
first moming bus from the terminal, spending the first night Jf his new life tiiffe-rent frorn my own. No,
At most, one or kvo clappecl a quick, fat hanci on rny shoulder' So long' oid
surrouncled by crates ancj ptrrccls. wren I ariive,l, early ilr the rnorning, to the eighteerr holes of the
s*pen'ise thc loading of the casket, I found Filibertb buriecl beneath a friencl, how,s ir been goiigl Beiween us stretched
r.ound of coconuts; flie.driver wanted to get him in the luggage compart- Co*tty Club. I buriei mlsef in rny papers' Tl-re years of my-dreirms' the
obstacles that
ment as .1uickly as possible, coverecr rvithiar,vas in order iJt io ,rpu*t tr,. optimiJtic predictions, filecl before ury {y9s, along- wit}r -the
h:J-k"pt ,i.re from achieving them. I lefl.frr.rsbrated that I coultln't clig my
passengers and to avoir"i bad luck on the lrip. of some long-forgotten
\'vhen rve left AcaPr-rlco trrere rrus siili ; good breeze. Near fingers into the past and pirt together- the pieces
Tierra nuzzlr. But .^e's toy ':lesi is a fart of the past, and
rvhe. all':; sair-i a.d
il.lo; ,rtfa if bgqan rt get liot ancl bril;lLt. As I was eating *ry breakfart eggs lt'ent, his helmets ancl wooderr
a'el sausage, i hrid opened l.iliberto's sarchel, collected ii-t" juy before alJi,g i"^., *n" f"',oor, -h"." his leail soliiiers
r+'ith his cther persoi',nr berongiirgs from trre Mullers' hcltel.two ,*o.dr. fhe rnake-believe we lovecl so rnuch was only that, make-believe'
hundred Wasn't that i Was
pesos. An old nervspaper; expired lotterl, tickets; a one_lvay Siiil, fd been diligent, cliscifrlined' clevoterf to bu1'' .enctrgh
ticket of Rilke: the great
to it too mrcnf OftIn, i was assa.rlted by the recollection
we should die young,.taking ali
rtlvarcl for the ariventure of youth is death;
looking back at a city of salt. irive
our secrets withus. Toclay livouldn,t be
-liirl.r,laled Mtrgtrret Snyers pulen
6ry
peros? Two Pesos tiP'"
 998 L*'nN Al,lsrucl AND TrrE CenrnuEa,N ClruosFurxrrs/Cu*c-Moot 999

"In addition to his passion for corporation law, pepe likes suitcases suffered; everything has to happen on a weekday' I was late to
to theorize.
He saw pj loming out of the cathedrar, and we *,u1l*aioguth"r toward the work."
National Palace. He's not a beriever, but he's not conterii to
stop at tha[
within hau a block rre had to propose a theory. u I weren,i a Mexican, ,,At last they came to fix the plumbing. suitcases ruined. There's slime
I
wouldn't worship Christ, and . . . No, rook, it's obvious. The spanish on the base of the Chac'Mool."
arrive
Adore this God who died a brood.y death nailed to -Jcross *it
-uld luy,
in his side. sacrificed. Naiae an ofrering. -n&;i could be
a
bleeding wound "I awakened at one; I'd heard a terrible moan' I thought it might be
more natural than to accept somelhs * cl0se to yo.r"
owi ritual, your olvn burglars. Purely imaginary." ... ,:
lifu.'-, ' rmagine, on ihe other hanr, if Mexico hacl been cor,'q.rerea uv
?
BLrddhists Mosrems. It's not conceivabre that our tnaians wourd "The moaning at night conhnues- I don't know where it's coming from'
worshipped'rsome pe.son who died of indigestio,. But
have
a God that,s not only but it makes me rervous. To top it all off, the pipes burst again, and the
rains
;1$ri5ea fgr yorl b.t has his heart tom olut, cod aimijhty, .i""r.**t" to have seeped through the foundation and flooded the cellar"'.
H,itzilopochtlit Christianiry, with its emotion, its bloody Sa.iirice
ur,a rituut
becomes a natural and nover extension of the native I'm desperate. As far as the City Water
rerigiorr The qualities of "Plumber still hasn't come;
charity, love, and tum-the-other-cheek, however, are rejected. concerned, the less said the better. This is the first time the
Ancr that.s Departmenfs
wl'rat Mexico is all about you have to kill a man in
order to believe in him. runofffrom the rairshas drained into my cellar instead of the storm sewers.
"Pepe knew thet e'er s.1ce I was young I've
been mad for.lriain pieces
of Mexicir, Indian ari- r coilect smau statuEs, idols, pots.
I ,p"',J *y *ot - _.4
ends in Tlaxcara, or irr Teorihuacan. That may be ,,They pumped out the cellar. The chac-Mool is covered with slime. It
-ny n" itk* t; rehte to
inclige*ous themes ail the theories he concocti for
me.'repe
bee. looking for a reasonabre reprica of rhe chac-Mo;ii"'.;i;;s
k;; that l,ve rnakes him'look grotesque; the whole sculpfr.rre seems to be suffering from a
ri*u, una kind of gt"et with the excepfion of the eyes' I'li scrape-off the
today he told me about a Iittre shop in the flea market
of La rag;ila where *o* Slriduy. p"pe suggest"cl I move toan apartnrent on an upPgr floot io
"rlrsipelas,
thefS one, apparently.at a good price. I,lt go S""duy.-'** prevent any'*ore of theie aquatic tragedies. But I can't leave my hor.rse; it's
3e.lting
"A joker put red coloring in the office water co-ore! naturarly little gloomy in its tum-of-the-century style,
interrupt" obviously more than I need, a
ing our duties. I had to report }-rim to the dire*or, I
*ho ri*pirtn,i.rgi t it *0, but it,s tire only inheritance, the only memory, I have left of my parents.
fuTy' so all day the.basiard's be-en going around makirig fun oi'me, witrr fountain with jukebox in the cellar
don,t know how I'd feel if I saw a soda a
cracks abotrt water. Motherfu . . . ,,
and an interior decorator's shop on the gror"rnc-l floor'"
'.Td:y, sunday, I hacr tinre to go our to La Lagu.iila.
I found trre chac-
Mool irr the cireap littie shop pepe taa tord me aboit. ,,Used a trowel to $crape tire Chac-Mool. The moss llow seetl1ed alrrrost
It,s marverous a piece,
liie-size, and.though the dearerissures me it's in the evening
an originai, i q""rril" ia rr.'. a part of the stone; it took more than an hotir and it was six
stone is nothing nut of the ordinary, but trrat but I ran my hand
d.oesn,t aLri"ir},iil. Jegance of before I finished. I couldrlt see anything in the darkness,
the compositio*, or ils rnassiveness. The rascar
rras srneared tomato
--'--* ketchup over the outlines of the stone. With every stroke, tire stone seemed to
o' t!: belly to convince the tourists of its bloody u"tfr""ti.ity. become softer. I couldn't believe it; it felt like dough. That dealer in La Lagu-
-'Moving tire piece
.., to my house cost rrlore ihan the p*,.hnr" price. nilla has really swindled me. His 'pre-Colunrbian sculpture' is notl'ring but
But
it's,here now, ternporarily in the cerrar whle
make room for it- These figures dema.d a vertical
I;;;.g#;il'lltl.tio., to plaster, and the dampness is ruining it. I've covered it with some rags and

r'r'as tl-reir naturar eleme*i. The.effect is

u"i urr*irri-t,ois*; trrut willbring it upstairs tomorrow before it dissolves completely'"
lost in the darkn"rioitte
wherd it's simply another lifeless mass and itl ""ttrr, ,,The rags are on the floor. Incredible. Again I felt the cha,:-Mool. It',s

-"'ai,iriisii'rai*ii):dearer;,oa"Totiili,-ffi
t"t1ygryt-ghti'g all ti-re pranes and Gndiig a morc
:[T,:]',,;';f,f"Tlt: firm, but noi stor,e. I clon't want i,..r wriie this: the texture of the i1;rso
feels r'
amiabre expression to little like flesh; I press it like mbber, and feel something coursing -through
rny Chac-lvlool. I nrr,rst foliow his example.,," about
that recumbent figure . . . l went clown again later at night. No doubt
ih the Chac-Mool has hair on its arms."
"I awoke to find the pipes had burst. somehow, I,d
careressry reft the
ylter l]ying i, rhe kircrreii; it froode-d ttre frour u"i po"r"a ir,io ii," cettn,. ,,Tiris kincl of thing has nevei irappened t0 ine bcfore' I foilled t1D rrty
before I'd noticed it. Tl're dampness didn't damage the
the Chac-Moor,-but rn' work in the office: I serit out a payment that hadn't been authorized, and
1000 LarrN A1vtsntcA AND THE CenrssraN
director had to call it io my attention. i think I may even have been rude to
my co-rvorkers. I'm going io have to see a doctot find out whether it's my
irnaginaliory whether I'rn delirious, or what . . . and get rid of that damned
Chac-Mool."
Up to this point I recognized Filiberto's hand, the large, rounded letters
I'd seen on so many memoranda and forms. The entry for August 25 seemed
to have been written by a different person. At times it was the writing of a
child, each letter laboriously separaied; other times, nervous, trailing into
illegibility. Three days are blank, and then the narrative continues:
"It"s a1i so natural, tirough normaily we believe only in what's real ...
but this is real, more reai than anything I've ever known. A water cooler is
real, more than real, because we fully realize its existence, or being, when
some joker puts something in the water to turn it red .. . An ephemeral
smoke ring is real, a grotesque image in a funhouse mirror is real; aren't all
deaths, present and forgotten, real . . . ? If a man passes through paradise in
a dream, and is hancled a flower as proof of having been there, and if when
he ar,vakens he finds this ilower in his hand. . . then . . . ? Reality: one day it
was shattered into a thousand pieces, its head rolled in one direction and its
tail in another, and all we have is one of the pieces from the gigantic body. A
free and fictitious Dcean, real only r,r.hen it is imprisoned in a seashell. Until
ihree days ago, my reality was of sucir a degree it would be erased today; it
was reflex action, routine, memory, carapace. And fierU like the earth that
one day trembies to rernirrd us of its power, of the death to come, recriminat-
ing against me for iraving tumed my back on life, an orphaned reality we
always knew was there presents itseli jolting us in order to become living
present. Again I believed it to be imagination: the Chac-Mool, soft and
elegant, had changed color ovemighq yellow, almost goldery it seemed to
sllggest it lvas a god, at ease now, the knees more relaxed than before, the
smile more benerrolent. And yesterday, finally, I awakened with a start, with
the frigiriening certainty that two creatures are breathing in the night, that in
the darkness there beats a pulse in addition to one's own. Yes, I heard foot-
steps on the stairway. Nightn-rare. Go back to sleep. I don't know how long I
feigned sleep. When I opened my eyes agairy it still was not dawn. The room
smelled of horror, of incense and blood. In tl-re darkness. I gazed about the
bedroom until my eyes found two points of flickering, cruel yellow light.
"Scarcely breathing, I ttrrned on the light. There was the Chac-Mool,
standing erect, sr:riling, ocher-colored except for the flesh-red belly. I was
paralyzed by the tu,o tiny, almost crossed eyes set close to the wedge-shaped
nose. The lower tec.th closed tightly on the upper iip; only the glimmer from
the squarish heimet on the abnormally large head betrayed any sign of iife.
Chac-Mool moved toward my bed; then it began to rain."
Crrnr.osFurr.rrns/Cru'c-Moot 1001
I remember that it was at the entt of August that Filiberto had been fired
from his job, with a public condemnation by the director, amid rumors of
madness and even theft. I didn'tbelieve it. I did see some wild memoranda,
one asking the Secretary of the Department whether watel had an odor;
anothet oifurir,g his services to the Department of Water Resources to make
it rain in the desert. I couidn't expiain it. i thought the exceptionally heavy
rains of that summer had affected him. Or that iiving in that ancient
mansion with half the rooms locked and thick with dust, without any
servants or family life, had finally deranged him. The follorving entries are
for the end of September.
"Chac-Mool can be pieasant enough when he wishes ' ' . the gurgiing of
enchanted water . . . He knows wonderful stories about the monsoons, the
equatoriai rains, the scourgc of the desrrts; the gerrealogy of rlvcry prlatrt
engendered by his mythic patemity: the willow, his rvayward daughter; the
iotus, his favorite child; the cactus, his moiher-in-1aw. What I can't bear is
the odoq, the nonhuman odor, emanating from tlesh that isn't flesh, from
sandais that shriek iheir antiquity. Laughing stridently, the Cirac-Iv{ool
recounts how he was discovered by Le Plora$eon and brought into physicai
contact with men of other gods. His spirit had survived quite peacefully in
water vessels and storms; his stone ryas another matter, and to have
dragged him from his hiding place was unnaiurai and cmel. I think the
Chac-Mool will never forgive that. He savors the imminence of the
aesthetic. 'i
"I've had to provide him with pumice stone to clean the belly the dealer
smeared with ketchup wiren he thought he was Aztec. He didn't seem to like
my question about iris relatiorr to Tlaloc, anel when he becomes arrgly iris
teeth, repulsive enough in themseh'es, glitter and grow pointed. The first
days he slept in the cellar; since yesterday, in my bed."
"The dry season has begun. Last night, from the living room where I'rn
sleeping now, I heard the sitme hoarse tlloalts I'd heard in the beginning,
followed by a terrible racket. I went upstairs and peered into the beclroom:
the Chac-Mool was breaking the lamps and ftrmihue; he sprang toward the
door with outstretched Lrleeding hands, and I was barely able to slaln i]re
door and mn to hide in the bathroom. Later he came downstairs, Panting
and begging for water. He ieaves tl-re faucets mruring all day; there's not a
dry spoiin ttre house. I have to sleep wrapped in blankets, anr-l I'r'e asked
him please to let the living rooin dr,v oui."l
iFiliberto does not say in what language he communicated wiih the chac-Moot
 1002 L*rrNAlrlnicA AND THE CexrsrreN Cenr.osFurr.rTrslCu,cc-Moot 1003

"The Chac-Mool flooded the living room ioday. Exasperatecr.,

I tolci him the Chac becomes human, it's possible that all the centuries of his life wiil
i.w-as going to rerLrm hin"r- to La Lagrinira. His laughteJ-r" trewill die in a flash of lightning' But this might
accumulate in an instant and
rrigit""ingry
different from the larrgir of *ur,-o. animal-waJ'as terribie u". tt * blo* also cause my death; the Chac won't want me to witness his clown-{ali; he
from that"heavily bracereted^r,y arm. I have to adrnit ir I am *, piro"u* rrry may decide to kill me.
original plan was quite different. I was going to play with the
cilac-Mooi the "I plan to take advantage tonight of Chac's nightly excursion to flee' I
YlI.Io" play rvith a toy; this may have been an exterrsion of the security
oi rvill go to Acapulco; Ill see if I can't find a job, and await the death of the
childhood. But*who said it?-tire fruit of childhood is consumed Chac-Mool. Yei, it willbe soon;]ris hair is gray, his face blbated' i need to get
by the
years, and I hadn't seen that, He's taken my clothes,
and when the freen some sun, to swim, to regain m! strength. I have four hundred pesos left. I'11
moss begins to sprout, he covers himself in my bathrobes. go to the Muller's hotel, it's chcap and comftrrtabie. Let Chac-Mool tirke over
The Chac-Mool is
the whole place; we'll see how *-t r.r: lasts without my pails of water'"
accr-rstonred to obedicncc, ;rlways; I, wiro have never irad
cause to command,
can only submit. until it rains-what happened to his magic
power?_he
will be choleric and irritable.,, Filiberto's diary ends here. I didn't want to think about what he'd writ-
"Today I discoverecr that the chac-Mool rea'es the ten; I slept as far as Cuemavaca. From there to Mexico City I tried to make
house at night.
as it grows dark, rre sings a shrifl and ancient t ttq some sense out of the account, to attribute it to overwork, or some psycho-
llyiyt oiJ", tn* rIng logical disturbance. By the time we reached the terminal at nine in the
itself. Then everything is quiet. I knocked several times at
the door, a.d
when he ciidn'i ans!\re' I crared enter. The bedroom, which .r'er,ing, I sti1l hadn't accepted the fact of my triend's madness. I hired a
i t uao,t ,*n tuck 6 carry the coffin to Filiberto's house, where I would arrange for his
since-the day the statue trieri to attack me, is a *rin; the
odor of incense and
blo.od that permeates the entire rrouse is particularry.or,.ur,nut.a outti';ror"
iere..q,nd I couid insert the key in the loch tr," aoo, opened. A yellow-
I disco*ered bones behi*d the door, dog and rat and cat bones.
This is what Indian in a smoking jacket and ascot stood in the doorway. He
the chac-Mool steals i'r the night for nor.rrrishment. This skinned
e*ptrins tt e hideous
barking errerv mornirrg. " couldn't have been more repulsive; he srnelled of cheap cologne; he'd tried
to cover his wrinkles with thick powder, his mouth tvas clr"rnrsily sr:reared
. "Febrr-rary, clnr Chac-Ir4ooi watches every move I make; he mad.e me
ielepho*e a restaurant anr-l ask them io creiiver chicken
s'ithiipstick, and his hair appeared to be dyed'
and rice every day. "(m sorry . . .I didn't know that Filiberto had - . . "
But r'r'hat I tcok from trre office is about to run out. "No matier. i know all about it. Tell the men to carry the body down to
so the inevitabre
lappened: on the first they cr-rt off the water and lights fo. r,onpuv*ent. But the cellar."
Chac ii.s discovered a p.it tic fountain two brockJfr;
ien or tweh'e trips a cial' 561 water whire he watches
ri* li"ii,"; I make
me from the roof. He
s:y1th'lt i-f,I try to r-rn away he will srrike me dead i" my t ucts;
r,e i, utso
the God of L&htning. what he does''t realize is
that I know abouihis night-
time forays. Since rve don,t,hav-e any electricity, I have jo
*o ,o U"a uUor,
eight' I should be trsecl to the Chac-kloor by-now, but
when I ran i,to him on thestairway,I touched his icy lusia
*o**, ugo
urirr, tn" *Jes of his
renervcd skin, and I r+,anted to screinr.
"It it cioesn't rain soo., the chac-Mool will return to stone.
I,ve noticed
his rcce.t difficulty i, ,ro'i.g; sometimes rre lies for
irours, purutyl"a, ana
almost seems a, idol again.. But tirisrepose merely gives
ilri;
al:use me, to claw at nre as if he coulcl extract riquiif.";;tfil;r,".-wu
,l;engtir ro
aon,,
ha'e the an-riable intervars-anyrnore, when l-re useci to tJil rr.,a
old tales;
i,stead, I seem to notice a heigrrtened resentment. There
have been
i.dications that ser me t}rinking:-my wine ceilar is di*t rirt,id,l" other
ut* ,o
my bathrobes; he *"nts me ro bring,
:,1:f llT,-r]lu
house; :t me tcach lrinr horv to rrse
he has made ".*rii drt to the
soap ,.,r",I lcrtio,",s. I bllieve the
Cirac-Mool is falling i'rto human temptations; now I see in
the face that once
s€€mecl eternal somethirrg tirat is merely orcr. This
*uy t" *y if
"utvation: