“My Life, My Story”

Life is hard, you will encounter challenges, struggles, problem (family, friends)
and other aspects that can destroy you, that can make you suffer. Our life usually
illustrated as rollercoaster. Fighting through ups and downs just to reach the success in
our lives. You are not allowed to be weak, because if you let your trials defeat you, you
will be a loser. That’s how my life been in this world.

We are born in this world with reasons and purposes. When I was a kid, my
parents are always saying that “as you grow up, don’t let the world influences
you”. Those words stayed in my mind. The world is an evil, it is good at flirting with
people. I enter elementary, technology is not yet very fashionable. It’s simple, there
seems to be no problem, just enjoying the childhood, very immature. Playing here,
playing there, I was happy to be a kid with friends and mother’s beatings cannot be
avoided. I had no idea what’s going on in my surroundings, just eat and sleep with a
long stick in my side. Going to church with the family. As I grow up, I notice how scary
the world really is. Until I was in high school, I become matured. What I only noticed in
the world before is what I experience now. Technology has become dangerous in our
lives especially in this generation, many children are addicted to this. They no longer
enjoy their childhood, because their attention is focused on gadgets. Until the
unexpected happened, we are experienced a big earthquake. Many houses, buildings
and property we’re destroyed and damaged. Another big pandemic came while we were
still going through a homeless situation. The economy is decreasing, even the
government is struggling with the situation. Being a student, we were affected to. The
learning process has changed, we faced modular learning. I convinced my parents to
buy a cellphone because I had to. Before it was given to me, they reminded me that it
was for study only. But the situation has started to changed. Because of the pandemic,
many futures are ruined. Many students get pregnant, this includes a friend of mine.
I’m also close to being addicted to alcohol. The grades I kept before, are now in
danger. Being addicted to the cellphone and online games, I no longer developed my
parent’s reminder. After they saw my grades, I see in their eyes the disappointments.
Until the pandemic situation has eased. The face- to-face class is back. I decided to
start a new life and promising to take back what my parents wanted before. I
graduated junior high school, I will finally be a senior high, a new journey again.
Because of my dream of becoming a doctor, I enrolled in STEM. Many people said that
STEM will be difficult for me. But this is my future, I asked for a guide from the Lord to
entering this strand. This is it, I faced many problems, struggles, etc. including the
academic activities. I don’t know how to manage my time, it’s stressful, especially when
it’s piled up. Especially when my parents are fighting and then I seem to be destructed.
I feel pressured, I feel like I want to yell them because I’m also tired. But all I could do
was go to my room and cry, I want to go to a cliff to scream my heart out to get my
feelings out. I don’t like to share my problems, my biggest fear is judgements so that’s
why I have trust issues, I faced it with my own. All I could do is just pray to God to ask
for more strength and never let me give up my situation. It’s like this is what I do when
I have a breakdown, just crying, pray until I fall asleep and when I woke up, my
feelings are gone. That is my simple solution to overcome my struggles. At this point,
we lost a classmate, a very smiley, kind and gentlemen classmate. I was upset with
what he did, like it is unexpected event, last Friday it was just fine, he was smiling. I
also experienced depression but I never thought of committing suicide. Every problem
has solution, suicide is not the exact solution. You just need to be strong and we all
know that there is no problem that cannot be answered. All of us are facing problems
too. I also disappointed to myself of being an idiot sometimes, I also have fears and
weakness but here I am keep fighting to reach the success in my life. Until now, it still
hurts me as a friend/classmate that he is gone. All I could wish, is to finish my studies
and course to find a good job and to pay my parents back. All their sacrifices are worth
it. I was lucky to have my parents in my back. Also, I was thankful that God is always
guiding me, helping me through my difficulties. Without God I don’t know what is
happening to me now, I might as well let go my life.
Day by day of living, I have learned many lessons, many realizations in life. I know that
every trials I encounter there is an lesson after all. I always keep reminding my self to
not give up, just keep fighting like what soldiers do just to posses the victory they want.
This is my life, this is how I defeat my weakness and fears.