1

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(MUSIC PLAYING)

2
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Oh

3
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A newlywed couple just moved to town

4
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A regular husband and wife

5
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Who left the big city
To find a quiet life

6
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WandaVision!

7
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She's a magical gal
In a small town locale

8
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He's a hubby who's part machine

9
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How will this duo fit in and pull through?

10
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Oh, by sharing a love
Like you've never seen

11
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WandaVision!

12
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My wife and her flying saucers.

13
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My husband and his indestructible head.

14
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-Aren't we a fine pair?
-(WANDA CHUCKLES)
15
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What do you say to silver dollar pancakes,
crispy hash browns, bacon, eggs,

16
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freshly squeezed orange juice,
and black coffee?

17
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I say, "Oh, I don't eat food."

18
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Well, that explains
the empty refrigerator.

19
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-Wanda?
-WANDA: Hmm?

20
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Is there something special about today?

21
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Well, I know the apron
is a bit much, dear,

22
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but I am doing my best to blend in.

23
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No, no, there on the calendar.

24
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Someone's drawn a little heart
right above today's date.

25
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-Oh, yes, the heart.
-Hmm...

26
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Well, don't tell me
you have forgotten, Vis.

27
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"Forgotten"?

28
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Oh, Wanda, I'm incapable of forgetfulness.
I remember everything.

29
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That's not an exaggeration.
In fact, I'm incapable of exaggeration.

30
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Well, then tell me what's so important
about today's date.

31
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What was the question again?

32
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Oh, well,
perhaps, you've forgotten yourself.

33
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Me? Heavens, no.
I've been so looking forward to it.

34
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As have I.

35
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Today, we are celebrating...

36
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You bet we are.

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-It's the first time we...
-Mmm-hmm.

38
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...have ever celebrated
this occasion before.

39
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It's a special day!

40
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-Perhaps an evening...
-Of great significance...

41
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-To us both!
-Naturally.

42
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-Obviously.
-Exactly.

43
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Well done, us.

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(EXHALES) All right.

45
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Well, that's me off to work, then.

46
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Oh, don't forget!

47
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I haven't.

48
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Oh! (CHUCKLES)

49
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Have a good day, dear!

50
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(KNOCK AT DOOR)

51
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Oh!

52
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Hello, dear.
I'm Agnes, your neighbor to the right.

53
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My right, not yours.

54
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:57,487
Forgive me for not stopping by sooner
to welcome you to the block.

55
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My mother-in-law was in town, so I wasn't.

56
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(CHUCKLES)

57
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So, what's your name? Where are you from?

58
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And most importantly,
how's your bridge game, hon?

59
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I'm Wanda.

60
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Wanda. Charmed.

61
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Golly, you settled in fast!

62
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Did you use a moving company?

63
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I sure did.
Those boxes don't move themselves.

64
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(AGNES CHUCKLES)

65
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So what's a single gal like you doing
rattling around this big house?

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Oh, no, I'm not single.

67
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Oh, I don't see a ring.
68
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Well, I assure you I'm married.

69
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To a man. A human one and tall.

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As a matter of fact, he'll be home
later tonight for a special occasion.

71
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Just the two of us.

72
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Oh, is it somebody's birthday?

73
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Not a birthday.

74
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Well, today isn't a holiday, is it?

75
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No, it's not a holiday.

76
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An anniversary then?

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Ye... Yes!

78
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Yes! It's our anniversary!

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Oh, how marvelous!

80
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How many years?

81
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Well, it feels like
we've always been together.

82
00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:01,093
Lucky gal.

83
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The only way
Ralph would remember our anniversary

84
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is if there was a beer named June 2nd.

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(CHUCKLES)

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-So, what do you have planned?
-How do you mean?

87
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For your special night.

88
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A young thing like you
doesn't have to do much,

89
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but it's still fun to set the scene.

90
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Say, I was just reading
a crackerjack magazine article

91
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called "How To Treat Your Husband
To Keep Your Husband,"

92
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and let me tell you,
what Ralph could really use

93
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is, "How To Goose Your Wife
So You Don't Lose Your Wife."

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Hang on. I'll go grab it
and we can start planning.
95
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Oh, this is gonna be a gas!

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(GIGGLES)

97
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(GASPS)

98
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Oh...

99
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(SONG PLAYING THROUGH RADIO) Or you
don't go out Friday night Yakety yak!

100
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You just put on your coat and hat

101
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Here are those computational forms
that you requested, Norm.

102
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There you go.

103
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Gee willikers, that was fast!

104
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Hey, the music
isn't bothering you, is it, pal?

105
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In terms of distraction from work,

106
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or the largely nonsensical
nature of the lyrics?

107
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-The first one.
-Ah, no, thank you, Norm.

108
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Hey, is there somethin'
I can help you with, buddy?

109
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Yes, as a matter of fact, there is.

110
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Would you be so good as to tell me
what it is we do here exactly?

111
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Do we make something?

112
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-No.
-Right.

113
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Do we buy or sell something?

114
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No and no.

115
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Then what is the purpose of this company?

116
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All I know is, since you've gotten here,
productivity has gone up 300%.

117
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Yes, but what is it we're producing?

118
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Computational forms.

119
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And no one can process the data
quite like you do, pal.

120
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You're like a walking computer.

121
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What? I most certainly am not.
122
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I'm a regular carbon-based employee
made entirely of organic matter,

123
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much like yourself, Norm.

124
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Hey! What's got your feathers all ruffled?

125
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Yes, I'm sorry, I'm a tad on edge.

126
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You see, it appears
there's something special about today,

127
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special to Wanda, that's my wife,

128
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and gee, I can't, for the life of me,
recall what it is.

129
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Mmm... Oh!

130
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MR. HART: Good to see you.

131
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-Vision.
-Yes?

132
00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:18,689
Wife and I
are looking forward to this evening.

133
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Mr. Hart. Of course!

134
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Dinner with Mr. Hart
and his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart.

135
00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:27,030
That's what I said.
What's wrong with you?

136
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-Have you got a screw loose?
-Oh, no, sir. Screws all tightened, sir.

137
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Yes, I should hope so.

138
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Employee dinners
are a rite of passage

139
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-for the new hires.
-Ah.

140
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Jones over there failed miserably.

141
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Isn't that right, Jones?

142
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The wife thought
five courses would be sufficient.

143
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And there was that paltry excuse
for entertainment.

144
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A string quartet?

145
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And then you had that embarrassing display
of beatnik enthusiasm.

146
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I wore a turtleneck.

147
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Yes. Best of luck out there
in the unemployment line, Jones.
148
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You know, I owe my success
to being a keen judge of character.

149
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:02,191
No skeletons in your closet, eh, Vision?

150
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,110
I don't have a skeleton, sir.

151
00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:09,281
Glad to hear it.
Your future in this company depends on it.

152
00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:17,748
AGNES: And you don't have a song?

153
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,750
Nothing special you played
at your wedding?

154
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,043
No, nothing special.

155
00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:23,253
I'll just loan you some records then.

156
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:28,383
So, we've got music covered,
decor, wardrobe. Oh!

157
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,802
What about seduction techniques?

158
00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:32,846
Oh, I have those.

159
00:08:32,930 --> 00:08:34,806
(CHUCKLES) Of course, you do.

160
00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:37,976
Just out of curiosity, what does it say?

161
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:42,606
That you should stumble when
you walk into a room so he can catch you.

162
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,066
It's romantic.

163
00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:45,734
Any other tricks?

164
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:49,780
You could point out that the death rate of
single men is twice that of married men.

165
00:08:50,656 --> 00:08:52,533
Now, that's romantic.

166
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(BOTH LAUGH)

167
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-(PHONE RINGING)
-Oh!

168
00:08:58,455 --> 00:08:59,498
(SIGHS)

169
00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:01,375
Vision residence.

170
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,502
-Wanda, darling.
-Vision, sweetheart.

171
00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:04,670
Listen, about tonight...

172
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:08,131
Don't worry, dear.
I have everything under control.

173
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:09,675
Oh, well, that is a relief.

174
00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:12,261
I must confess, I'm really rather nervous.

175
00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:14,429
"Nervous"? Whatever for?

176
00:09:14,513 --> 00:09:17,015
Well, you know, darling,
I still get a little tongue-tied.

177
00:09:17,808 --> 00:09:21,687
Vis, after all this time...

178
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:23,772
There's an awful lot
riding on this one, Wanda.

179
00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:28,652
If tonight doesn't go just so,
I think this could be the end.

180
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,906
Well, it's just one night.
There's no need to get dramatic.

181
00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:35,826
Look, I think the best course of action
is to impress the wife.

182
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:39,997
And I think the best course of action
is to impress the husband.

183
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,124
VISION: Well, wonderful!

184
00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:44,042
Glad to know we're both on the same page.

185
00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:45,627
Until tonight, then, my, darling.

186
00:09:45,711 --> 00:09:46,920
Until tonight.

187
00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:48,797
Oh...

188
00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:57,347
Is your husband tired of you
burning his toast?

189
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:01,643
Try our new and improved ToastMate 2000.

190
00:10:02,186 --> 00:10:04,313
It's the go-to for clever housewives.

191
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:07,691
Say, this machine has some shine.

192
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:08,901
You said it.

193
00:10:08,984 --> 00:10:12,070
Set the dial
and get the taste back into your toast.

194
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:20,287
Top and bottom heating elements
can handle anything

195
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:24,541
from meatloaf, to cherry pie,
to open-faced cheese sandwiches.

196
00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:26,293
(TIMER TICKING)

197
00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:33,675
(TOASTER DINGS)

198
00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:37,513
The all new ToastMate 2000
by Stark Industries.

199
00:10:37,596 --> 00:10:40,516
Forget the past. This is your future.

200
00:10:45,229 --> 00:10:46,438
Here we are!

201
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:48,857
Oh!
202
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:51,944
How very atmospheric!

203
00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:54,530
What's going on here, Vision?
You blow a fuse?

204
00:10:54,613 --> 00:10:58,325
Pardon me while I just go and fetch
the lady of the house.

205
00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:05,749
Guess who?

206
00:11:06,542 --> 00:11:07,543
Wanda!

207
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,169
Vision. (GASPS)

208
00:11:09,253 --> 00:11:10,587
Oh! Oh!

209
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,214
Ah...

210
00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:13,632
What is the meaning of this?

211
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:15,843
(STAMMERING) Well, what is...

212
00:11:15,926 --> 00:11:17,261
Yeah, what is the meaning of...

213
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:18,387
Oh, the meaning of it!

214
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:20,806
You want to know the meaning of it
and the meaning of it

215
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:26,311
is that this is the traditional
Sokovian greeting of hospitality.
216
00:11:26,979 --> 00:11:29,189
-Guess who?
-Is that my host behind me?

217
00:11:29,273 --> 00:11:30,399
It certainly is.

218
00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:32,860
-Lovely to make your acquaintance.
-Yes! (CHUCKLES)

219
00:11:32,943 --> 00:11:35,362
See, I forgot to tell you
my wife is from Europe.

220
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,240
Oh, how exotic!

221
00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:40,158
We don't break bread with Bolsheviks.

222
00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:41,660
Oh, hush, Arthur!

223
00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:44,288
Have you no culture at all? (CHUCKLES)

224
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,497
And that dress!

225
00:11:45,581 --> 00:11:50,419
Yes! It's... It's so...
Sokovian, is what it is! Yes!

226
00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:54,381
Can I just see you in the kitchen
for a moment, sweetheart?

227
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:55,465
Oh, yes!

228
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:56,592
(BLOWS CANDLES)

229
00:11:58,093 --> 00:11:59,970
-Who are those people?
-What are you wearing?

230
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,014
-Why are they here?
-What are you wearing?

231
00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:03,432
Well, it's our anniversary!

232
00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:04,766
Our anniversary of what?

233
00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:07,269
Well, if you don't know,
I'm not going to tell you!

234
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:11,398
That... That man through there
is my boss, Mr. Hart!

235
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,233
And his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart!

236
00:12:13,317 --> 00:12:16,069
The heart on the calendar
was an abbreviation!

237
00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:19,323
You move at the speed of sound and I can
make a pen float through the air.

238
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,824
Who needs to abbreviate?

239
00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:23,952
Darling, listen, it's all romantic
to do the candles, the music,

240
00:12:24,036 --> 00:12:25,871
-that stunning outfit...
-Well...

241
00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:28,248
I don't wanna be unappreciative,
but right now...
242
00:12:28,332 --> 00:12:30,751
Your boss and his wife
are expecting a home-cooked meal.

243
00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:31,835
-Exactly.
-(SIGHS)

244
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:33,962
Any chance they'd settle

245
00:12:34,046 --> 00:12:36,673
for a single chocolate-covered strawberry
split three ways?

246
00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:38,008
Uh...

247
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,593
I might have a better idea.

248
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,305
Hmm.

249
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:47,309
So I said, "If we orient the forms
horizontally rather than vertically,

250
00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:51,188
"we can use twice the paper,
we can bill twice the cost."

251
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,648
(LAUGHS)

252
00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:54,650
You truly are a pioneer!

253
00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:57,361
But the larger purpose of the forms is...

254
00:12:57,486 --> 00:12:59,321
Was to analyze our input and our output.

255
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:00,405
Huh.

256
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:03,242
You're awfully dense, aren't you, Vision?

257
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,704
Oh, Agnes! You're a life-saver!

258
00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:09,331
What kind of housewife would I be

259
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:12,709
if I didn't have a gourmet meal for four
just lying about the place?

260
00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:13,794
-(LAUGHS)
-Well...

261
00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:16,421
Not that Ralph ever wants to eat
anything but baked beans

262
00:13:16,505 --> 00:13:19,424
which explains a lot
about his personal appeal, mind you.

263
00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:21,802
-Oh, my!
-Oh! Oh!

264
00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:23,846
Do you think Wanda needs help
in the kitchen?

265
00:13:23,929 --> 00:13:26,640
We haven't any tidbits
or tartlets out here,

266
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:27,850
nary a pig in a blanket.

267
00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:29,142
No, that... (CHUCKLES)

268
00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:31,603
-No, that's so kind of you, Mrs. Hart.
-(CLATTERING)

269
00:13:31,687 --> 00:13:33,856
But I'm sure
she's absolutely fine in there!

270
00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:36,316
Oh, thank you, Agnes.
I think I've got it covered from here.

271
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:37,568
-Oh, are you sure, dear?
-Hmm.

272
00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:40,904
Many hands make light work.
And many mouths make good gossip.

273
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:42,406
You're so naughty! (LAUGHS)

274
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,408
Oh, shall I just pre-heat
the oven then, dear?

275
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,827
-That won't be necessary.
-Oh, All right, then.

276
00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:49,830
Well, I know you're in a pinch
so this menu can be done in a snap.

277
00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:52,624
Lobster Thermidor with
mini-minced meat turnovers to start.

278
00:13:52,708 --> 00:13:55,752
Chicken à la King with twice-cooked
new potatoes for your second course,

279
00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:58,213
and Steak Diane and mint jellies
for your main.

280
00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:00,507
Do you set your own jellies, dear?

281
00:14:00,591 --> 00:14:02,593
-Yes.
-Good girl.

282
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,678
Recipe cards are on the counter there.

283
00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:06,013
Bon appétit!

284
00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:07,514
(CHUCKLES) Oh!

285
00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,019
Oh, oh.

286
00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:13,145
You men stay put.

287
00:14:13,228 --> 00:14:16,607
-I sense a domestic emergency, so...
-Mrs. Hart, please don't. You can't.

288
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:18,525
You... Please...

289
00:14:18,609 --> 00:14:22,654
Yeah, take out the papers and the trash

290
00:14:22,738 --> 00:14:25,073
Or you won't get no spending cash

291
00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:28,869
If you don't scrub the kitchen floor

292
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:31,830
You ain't gonna rock and roll no more

293
00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:33,790
Yakety yak!
Don't talk back

294
00:14:36,627 --> 00:14:37,628
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

295
00:14:38,504 --> 00:14:42,508
Well, why don't we have a nice
sing-a-long, all together then, shall we?

296
00:14:45,427 --> 00:14:47,054
(GASPS) Oh, no, too much!

297
00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:52,142
Oh, no, not enough!

298
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:55,479
(SINGING) Old MacDonald had a farm

299
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:57,314
Ee-I-Ee-I-O

300
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,399
And on that farm he had a...

301
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:02,819
had a...

302
00:15:03,445 --> 00:15:04,446
Pig.

303
00:15:04,530 --> 00:15:06,073
Ee-I-Ee-I-O

304
00:15:06,156 --> 00:15:07,157
-With a...
-Oink, oink...

305
00:15:07,241 --> 00:15:08,283
-Here and a...
-Oink, oink...

306
00:15:08,367 --> 00:15:09,952
-There
-Here an oink, there an oink

307
00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:11,119
Everywhere an oink, oink
308
00:15:11,203 --> 00:15:13,330
Old MacDonald had a farm

309
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:14,915
Ee-I-Ee-I-O

310
00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:17,668
Oh, what was I supposed to do next?
Oh, what was the main course again?

311
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:19,294
It was... Steak...

312
00:15:19,378 --> 00:15:20,754
No. Steak...

313
00:15:20,838 --> 00:15:22,589
Steak... Diane!

314
00:15:22,673 --> 00:15:23,715
Yes?

315
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,135
Oh, I think that must be
my wife summoning me.

316
00:15:27,678 --> 00:15:29,304
She calls you "Diane?"

317
00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:33,058
Yes, it's her pet name for me.

318
00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:34,309
(SIGHS)

319
00:15:34,393 --> 00:15:37,229
I'm just coming, Fred.

320
00:15:39,064 --> 00:15:40,190
Excuse me a moment.

321
00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:45,237
(GASPS) Oh, no.

322
00:15:46,864 --> 00:15:48,323
How can I be of assistance?

323
00:15:48,407 --> 00:15:51,910
Well, the chicken is no longer a chicken
and the lobsters just flew the coop

324
00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:53,620
so the steak is the last man standing.

325
00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:57,291
It says here I can cut down the prep time
with a meat tenderizer.

326
00:15:57,374 --> 00:15:59,543
Excellent plan. Where's the tenderizer?

327
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,336
-I'm looking at him.
-Ah.

328
00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:02,462
Hoo-hoo in there!

329
00:16:02,546 --> 00:16:04,339
WANDA: (GASPS) Hoo-hoo back to you!

330
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:05,841
Okay.

331
00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:09,636
Finish the meat, find the lobsters.
I'll be right back.

332
00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:12,556
I hope you're hungry.

333
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:13,891
Starved, is more like it.

334
00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:16,393
My head is starting to feel woozy.

335
00:16:19,104 --> 00:16:20,439
Were either of you aware
336
00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:23,859
that married men are killing single men
at an alarming rate?

337
00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:26,612
-What are you going on about?
-(LOUD THUD)

338
00:16:26,695 --> 00:16:27,905
And what's going on in there?

339
00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:30,532
Whoo-hoo! Ho-ho! (GASPS)

340
00:16:30,616 --> 00:16:32,159
(KNOCK AT DOOR)

341
00:16:33,327 --> 00:16:34,369
Who could that be?

342
00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:36,205
Coming!

343
00:16:37,331 --> 00:16:39,208
Oh, you didn't answer the back door.

344
00:16:39,291 --> 00:16:40,918
For your upside-down cake.

345
00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:42,920
Oh! Hi, I...

346
00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:44,004
Who was that?

347
00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,589
-A salesman!
-Telegram!

348
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,466
A man selling telegrams.

349
00:16:47,549 --> 00:16:49,635
Wouldn't you know it.
Good news is more expensive.
350
00:16:50,511 --> 00:16:53,680
I couldn't find the lobsters and did you
want the meat tender or pulverized?

351
00:16:53,764 --> 00:16:54,932
Oh, dear.

352
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,603
Well. I think tonight's going swimmingly.

353
00:17:00,312 --> 00:17:02,523
Anyone for Parcheesi?

354
00:17:02,648 --> 00:17:05,567
-My head is spinning.
-Oh, Mrs. Hart...

355
00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:08,028
Did you hear that?
My wife's head is spinning.

356
00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:10,322
Generally speaking,
I don't like her head to do that.

357
00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:13,742
Time to improvise.

358
00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:18,413
You know, I'm beginning to think
you're not management material, Vision.

359
00:17:18,497 --> 00:17:20,123
You know, I had high hopes for you.

360
00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:23,836
But from what I've seen here tonight,
you can barely keep it together.

361
00:17:23,919 --> 00:17:26,922
I mean, look around. There's all this
chaos going on in your household.

362
00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:29,383
Now, when are we gonna eat?
363
00:17:29,466 --> 00:17:31,051
Dinner is served.

364
00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:33,428
VISION: Ah!

365
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,265
Breakfast for dinner?

366
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:38,767
How very...

367
00:17:38,851 --> 00:17:40,185
European.

368
00:17:41,270 --> 00:17:43,522
Ooh! Let's have a toast!

369
00:17:44,314 --> 00:17:47,484
To my lovely and talented wife.

370
00:17:47,609 --> 00:17:49,862
To our esteemed guests.

371
00:17:49,945 --> 00:17:51,321
Yes. Cin cin.

372
00:17:51,405 --> 00:17:52,406
Cheers.

373
00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:56,535
Well, please eat before it gets cold.

374
00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:58,495
-MRS. HART: Hmm?
-Oh, Mrs. Hart, allow me.

375
00:18:00,038 --> 00:18:02,416
So, where did you two move from?

376
00:18:03,041 --> 00:18:04,126
What brought you here?

377
00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:07,504
How long have you been married?
And why don't you have children yet?

378
00:18:11,466 --> 00:18:16,722
I think what my wife means to say
is that we moved from...

379
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:18,515
Yes, we moved from...

380
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:21,435
And we were married...

381
00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:24,229
Yes, yes, we were married in...

382
00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:28,358
Well? Moved from where? Married when?

383
00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:29,484
Now, patience, Arthur.

384
00:18:29,568 --> 00:18:31,778
They're setting up their story.
Let them tell it.

385
00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:33,363
We...

386
00:18:33,447 --> 00:18:35,240
Our story... (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

387
00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:38,577
Yes, what exactly is your story?

388
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,537
Oh, just leave the poor kids alone.

389
00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:44,041
No, really, I mean,
I think it's a perfectly simple question.

390
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:45,959
Honestly.
391
00:18:46,043 --> 00:18:47,252
Why did you come here?

392
00:18:48,754 --> 00:18:49,963
Why?

393
00:18:51,715 --> 00:18:53,550
Damn it, why? Why did you...

394
00:18:55,093 --> 00:18:56,261
(CHOKING)

395
00:18:58,472 --> 00:18:59,973
Oh, Arthur, stop it.

396
00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:05,354
Stop it. (CHUCKLES)

397
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:07,231
Stop it.

398
00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:08,315
(CHOKING)

399
00:19:09,233 --> 00:19:12,319
-MRS. HART: Stop it. Stop it.
-(MR. HART CONTINUES CHOKING)

400
00:19:13,779 --> 00:19:15,739
Stop it. (CHUCKLES)

401
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,199
Stop it.

402
00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:20,118
Stop it.

403
00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:21,245
Stop it.

404
00:19:21,453 --> 00:19:22,538
(GROANS)

405
00:19:23,497 --> 00:19:25,541
Stop it. Stop it.

406
00:19:25,624 --> 00:19:26,667
Stop it.

407
00:19:27,835 --> 00:19:28,836
Stop it.

408
00:19:28,919 --> 00:19:29,962
Vision, help him.

409
00:19:38,262 --> 00:19:39,888
(COUGHING)

410
00:19:44,977 --> 00:19:45,978
Let me help you up.

411
00:19:46,478 --> 00:19:47,479
Give me your hand.

412
00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:50,566
All right, steady on, sir.

413
00:19:52,109 --> 00:19:53,735
(GASPING)

414
00:19:55,279 --> 00:19:58,240
Well, would you look
at the time? (CHUCKLES)

415
00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:00,784
Yes. We'd better be going.

416
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,162
Well... Are you both all right?

417
00:20:04,663 --> 00:20:07,332
We had such a lovely time.

418
00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:11,086
This guest is leaving your home.

419
00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:12,671
(LAUGHS)
420
00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:14,923
Yes, thank you for coming. (CHUCKLES)

421
00:20:15,591 --> 00:20:17,009
(SIGHS)

422
00:20:17,092 --> 00:20:18,552
You made me proud tonight, son.

423
00:20:18,635 --> 00:20:21,430
First thing Monday morning,
you and me are gonna have a little chat.

424
00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:24,641
We'll see about that promotion.

425
00:20:24,725 --> 00:20:25,893
Yes, sir! Thank you, sir!

426
00:20:28,562 --> 00:20:29,563
MR. HART: Thank you.

427
00:20:33,192 --> 00:20:34,318
Oh...

428
00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:37,905
What a charming door knocker.

429
00:20:39,448 --> 00:20:40,449
Good night!

430
00:20:45,162 --> 00:20:46,371
(BOTH EXHALE IN RELIEF)

431
00:20:47,706 --> 00:20:48,707
(SIGHS)

432
00:20:51,877 --> 00:20:53,962
We are an unusual couple, ya know?

433
00:20:54,046 --> 00:20:55,923
Oh, I don't think
that was ever in question.

434
00:20:56,423 --> 00:21:00,761
Well, what I mean is...
We don't have an anniversary.

435
00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:02,554
-Huh.
-Or a song.

436
00:21:03,222 --> 00:21:04,681
Or even wedding rings.

437
00:21:04,765 --> 00:21:06,141
Well, we could remedy that.

438
00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:08,310
Today could be our anniversary.

439
00:21:08,393 --> 00:21:10,979
Of what? Surviving our first dinner party?

440
00:21:11,063 --> 00:21:13,524
Precisely. And our song could be?

441
00:21:13,607 --> 00:21:14,900
Yakety Yak, naturally.

442
00:21:14,983 --> 00:21:15,984
-Naturally.
-Hmm.

443
00:21:17,653 --> 00:21:18,654
And the rings?

444
00:21:20,030 --> 00:21:21,532
Well, couldn't you make some for us?

445
00:21:29,706 --> 00:21:30,707
I do.

446
00:21:31,792 --> 00:21:32,793
Do you?

447
00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:36,213
Yes. I do.

448
00:21:38,006 --> 00:21:39,883
And they lived happily ever after.