Happiful Issue69 PDF

ISSUE 69
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Good first
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What to do when the
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20 questions to start
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winnie˜the˜pooh
The Tao of
Po o h
“Sooner or later you
will discover that
simple, childlike and
mysterious secret...
Life is fun.”
This Christmas,
celebrate 40
years of the
adult bestseller inspired by
the classic children’s series.
Over 1 million copies sold globally.
2 | Issue XX | happiful.com
©️1982 Benjamin Hoff. Line illustrations copyright (1926-1928) E.H. Shepard
This is your
moment
We all have it, that little voice
whispering in our ear that we ‘can’t’,
we aren’t ‘enough’, that we’ll ‘flop’.
This might stem from a desire for

self-preservation. If we don’t try, we
can’t fail, right? But where does that
leave us? What would life be like if
we always found ourselves hovering
on the edge of possibility, and never Perhaps it’s about finding innovative
taking that first step forward? ways to heal, like through creative
pursuits on p29, or coming out at a
When self-doubt weighs on our later age and accepting your authentic
shoulders, it can hold us back from self on p65.
the life we’ve always wanted. We
might think we have to do what We implore you to open your mind to
everyone else is doing, we can’t rock possibilities, and find comfort in going
the boat, or steer off course, or that your own way.
if we try, it’ll be a wreck waiting to
happen. Your path or destination doesn’t have
to resemble anyone else’s – it’s yours
But you know the thing about time? to explore in your own time. But, we
It’s fleeting. So you have to ensure want to put an emphasis on making
you’re spending yours in whatever the most of that time.
way fulfils you most. At Happiful, inclusivity,
As journalist Sydney Harris said: representation, and creating
This issue is focused on challenging “Regret for the things we did can a happier, healthier society
those core beliefs that you ‘can’t’, to be tempered by time; it is regret are at the forefront of our
make way for radical new avenues for the things we did not do that is mission. To find out more
of thinking – and exploring the inconsolable.” about our social and
exciting roads of opportunity they environmental pledges,
may take you down. Let’s leave ‘if visit happiful.com/pledges
only’ in the
Rebecca portrait | Studio Rouge
Whether that’s working through our past. W | happiful.com

20 life coach-approved questions
on p75 to figure out what’s most F | happifulhq
important to you, or finding your
personal ‘zone of genius’ and T | @happifulhq
returning to education, like in the REBECCA THAIR |
article on p51. EDITOR I | @happiful_magazine
28 29
The art of wellness
24 Moving with the seasons
The first in a series exploring our
relationship with nature
29 Let us paint the picture

How art therapy can support us
through the most difficult times
51 Back to school
It may be daunting, but returning to
education can unlock newfound joy
75 20 Qs to find your potential
78 When something clicks

The joys of adult Lego
Wellbeing
14 Distorted reality?
We go down the rabbit hole of
Alice in Wonderland syndrome
16 Create a crisis plan

Prepare for hard times
26 What are chakras?
48 Healthy ways to
stay informed
Don’t let panic take over
55 Stop self-destructing Positive pointers

71 Speech delays in kids 40 Marisa Peer
C
The world-renowned therapist
on knowing your true worth
Try this at home 8
44 Budget-friendly eco swaps
18 New Year’s wishlist Being more sustainable doesn’t
13
have to break the bank
36 What if... you did it all
65
33
59 Must-read life advice
43 Sending love to... 58
83 Pursue your passions
64 Journey to the past Make this the year of you
80 Food & health
37 The journey to sobriety
How to help someone get there
46 Energise your life

Try these fueling recipes
68 Periods in the workplace

Take care of your
menstrual wellbeing
71
80 Nutrition myths, debunked
*
Relationships Expert review
19 Halo or horn? Every issue of Happiful is
55
How can first impressions affect reviewed by an accredited
others’ perspectives of us? counsellor, to ensure we
deliver the highest quality
22 Single and scrutinised? content while handling
topics sensitively.
34 Super-helper syndrome In life, we meet many people
Do you put others first to your – often quickly. Our fleeting
own detriment? interactions can result in a
quick judgement of each
62 It’s tough at the top person we meet. But, as the
Self-care for leaders helpful article on p19 reveals,
that judgement is often
65 Coming out later in life wrong. One way in which
What happens when this life you can counteract this is
milestone arrives further down by taking the time to get to
the timeline? know people, by being open
with each other, and by not
holding on to preconceived
Culture impressions. Ultimately, a
Culture
more patient and considered
Good news approach when engaging
8 Good news with people will be mutually
3 The wellbeing wrap beneficial.
13 The wellbeing wrap RAV SEKHON
3 Curl up with a good book
51
BA MA MBACP (Accred)
Rav is a counsellor
8 Things to do this month 33 Good reads and psychotherapist
with more than 10
60 Things to do this month years' experience.
Happiful Community Our team
Meet the team of experts ANDREW HARVEY EDITORIAL
FD (Open) MBACP (Accred) AP APM Rebecca Thair | Editor
providing information,
Andrew is a Kathryn Wheeler | Features Editor
guidance, and insight psychotherapeutic Lauren Bromley-Bird | Editorial Assistant
counsellor.
throughout this issue Bonnie Evie Gifford, Kat Nicholls | Senior Writers
Becky Banham | Content & Marketing Officer
Michelle Elman, Claudine Thornhill | Columnists
Lucy Donoughue | Head of Multimedia
Ellen Lees | Head of Content
CLAUDINE THORNHILL THIMELA GARCIA Keith Howitt | Sub-Editor
NT DipCNM mANP BA and RYT500
Rav Sekhon | Expert Advisor
Claudine is a Thimela is an author, yoga
naturopathic nutritionist teacher, and certified holistic ART & DESIGN
and health coach. therapist based in London. Amy-Jean Burns | Head of Product
Charlotte Reynell | Creative Lead
Rosan Magar | Illustrator
COMMUNICATIONS
Alice Greedus | PR Manager
CHLOE SPARROW ELENA HOLMES
BA MA HCPC Reg BAAT BSc MA MSc mBANT mCNHC mRSM CONTRIBUTORS
Katie Conibear, Caroline Butterwick, Jess Baker,
Chloe is an art Elena is a registered Rod Vincent, Rachael Davies, Katherine Irene,
psychotherapist, nature- nutritional therapist and Jenna Farmer, Bhavna Raithatha
inspired therapist, and painter. nutritionist.
SPECIAL THANKS
Thimela Garcia, Chloe Sparrow, Elena Holmes,
Chantal Dempsey, Danielle Bottone,
Adam Craft, Karine Patel, Hannah Hope,
Andrew Harvey
CHANTAL DEMPSEY DANIELLE BOTTONE MANAGEMENT

LLB (Hons) LLM Dip NLP Dip Hyp ACCPH BSc Dip MBACP Aimi Maunders | Director & Co-Founder
Emma Hursey | Director & Co-Founder
Chantal is a mindset coach Danielle is an integrative
helping clients overcome counsellor and life coach Paul Maunders | Director & Co-Founder
what’s holding them back. specialising in trauma.
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The Uplift
HEALTH
Could these four things halve your risk of dementia?

The pursuit of good health is is associated with a lower risk of sugar and insulin in the blood
something that many people of dementia. The second is B have been linked to Alzheimer’s.
have on their minds, and the vitamins – found in all sorts of While research is constantly
prevention of dementia, with foods including leafy greens, ongoing, and the factors that
its devastating effects, garners cereals, and meats – which, in a lead to dementia are undeniably
a lot of interest. But now, in trial at Oxford University, resulted complex, solid research does
research shared at the Alzheimer’s in 52% less brain shrinkage, and suggest that there are small
Prevention Conference, four little further memory loss. things that each of us can start
key ways to halve your risk of Third on the list was keeping to adopt immediately, to help to
dementia have been revealed. your brain active by doing things lower our risk later in life.
The first is taking omega-3 fish like solving puzzles or learning a For more information, prevention
oil supplements, with a new new language, as well as regularly masterclasses, and events, visit
study of almost half a million exercising. And, lastly, lower foodforthebrain.org
participants highlighting how it blood sugar levels, as higher levels Writing | Kathryn Wheeler
8 | Issue 69 | happiful.com
CULTURE
It may be time to look away from the ‘mummy bloggers’

These days, you will find that In a study published in Biological unknown, new roles – such as
any kind of interest out there Psychology, researchers found at the beginning of parenthood
has its own set of ‘influencers’ that exposure to this content – the tendency to fall into one
– people who post online can activate the body’s stress unwittingly is very easy.
content to large audiences – and response, and increase cortisol Sound familiar? It might be time
‘mummy bloggers’ are some levels in our bodies. for a social media spring clean.
of the most far-reaching and This was largely down to a Scroll through your ‘following’
influential. But, new parents comparison between them and the lists, and ask whether the pages
might want to take a fresh look influencers, whose neat and tidy nourish your curiosity, inspire
at their ‘following’ lists, as new kids, expansive homes, affluence, you, make you laugh, or bring
research has found that those and overall image of ‘perfection’, you joy. If they’re failing on these
who spend a lot of time looking are simply unattainable for the fronts, perhaps say goodbye,
at motherhood content online, average person. and break free of those online
might experience higher levels Comparison traps are nasty, comparison traps, for good.
of stress because of it. sneaky things, and as we face Writing | Kathryn Wheeler
MUSIC
Virtual singing hits all the

right notes for our wellbeing
We all know how good it feels to “We have seen from previous
belt out a great song, whether studies that tested physiological
singing show tunes in the kitchen or responses, like heart rate
jamming with friends. So, following variability and sweat levels, that
restrictions imposed around Covid, positive emotions are aroused
those who met in-person to sing when singing in a group,” explains
were forced to get inventive. Professor Helena Daffern, from the
Joining Zoom choirs became a University of York’s AudioLab. “We
lifeline for many, but there was wanted to recreate singing together
something missing. Researchers in a virtual environment for those
at the University of York surveyed who had barriers to accessing this
more than 3,000 members of type of activity in ‘real life’.” interaction, and although more
choirs in the UK and found that The technology has now been research is needed to understand
there was a collective sense of loss trialled in a number of care homes, the exact health and wellbeing
because they weren’t able to make and received positive reviews from impacts of singing in a group, it
music in real time, due to technical both residents and staff. is clear that the experience can
difficulties. “It appears that virtual reality provide significant enjoyment.”
To address this, the team at the choirs could provide a way of Learn more on the University’s
University’s AudioLab created a reaching out to people who have podcast, ‘The Story of Things’.
virtual reality environment. barriers to this form of social Writing | Kat Nicholls
happiful.com | Issue 69 | 9
NATURE
Bees get a
buzz out of
ball games
With all they do for the environment,
many of us can admit to having a
fondness for this busy insect, but
one thing we don’t often associate
with bees is a big personality. But
now, a new study in Animal Behaviour
suggests there may be more to
bumblebees than first meets the eye.
In an experiment conducted by
researchers at Queen Mary University
of London, bees were set up in a
container which allowed them to
travel from their nest to a feed area.
But, on the journey, the bees had the
option to pass through a separate
section, which contained a collection
of small, wooden balls.
Over the 18-day study, researchers
observed that the bees would go
out of their way to visit the section
with the balls, and roll them around.
What’s more, younger bees tended to
be more playful than adult bees, just
like their human counterparts.
“It is certainly mind-blowing, at
times amusing, to watch bumble
bees show something like play,” said
study lead author Samadi Galpayage.
“They approach and manipulate
these ‘toys’ again and again. It goes
to show that despite their little size
and tiny brains, they are more than
small robotic beings. This sort of
finding has implications for our
understanding of sentience and
welfare of insects and will, hopefully,
encourage us to respect and protect
life on Earth even more.”
Writing | Kathryn Wheeler
Take 5
Get your thinking gears ready for to tackle this issue’s brainteasers
Wordsnake
Try this variation on a classic wordsearch. Instead of How d
i
do? V d you
being in straight lines, words are spelled out in winding ‘Freeb isit t
paths, with each next letter joining the previous either ies’ se he
shop. ction
h o
horizontally or vertically – no diagonals here. Start with to fin appiful.co n
d the m
the bold letter and complete the whole grid! a
and m nswers,
ore!
Clue: colourful thinking
U S I M N Y U N D Y E
F C L E O X G R U G G
E H L R T I N U B S H
G I E A A N R M E L E
I A P E L P U A R L C
E R O S A U B Z U R O
B T I R A M A H S A L
I N N E C R R U U L T
M E J N O I T L E B U
I V A D S M L E P U R
L O C E A I O T T A Q
O T I R P V E S I O U
The
wellbeing
wrap
A TITANIC GIFT Rainn Wilson, best known for playing Dwight Schrute on the
Oscar-winning US version of The Office, has changed his name in protest of
actor Kate Winslet climate change. The actor is now officially called Rainnfall
donated £17,000 to Heat Wave Extreme Winter Wilson.
The Woodland
Trust has named a Scottish mum who
a 500-year-old was struggling to pay Train of thought A FUTURE OPPORTUNITY
yew at Waverley rocketing energy bills New technology Scientists behind one of the
Abbey, Surrey,
‘Tree of the Year’ required to operate looks to improve Covid-19 jabs are hopeful that
her daughter’s life safety on trains, as there could be a vaccination
support machine. Siemens Mobility against cancer by 2030. This
Freya, 12, has severe offers its revolutionary huge news is on the horizon
cerebral palsy, and artificial intelligence thanks to advancements in
needs an oxygen CCTV (iCCTV) to rail mRNA technology, and while
machine, but with companies. The tech they wouldn’t say they can
energy bills soaring, analyses mannerisms develop a cure, it sounds
mum, Carolynne and behaviour like strong breakthroughs
A new law in Hunter, had to turn to patterns to detect the in cancer treatment are
France will
require all car
a GoFundMe page for risk of a safety threat, certainly on the cards.
parks with 80 support. Thankfully, from harassment to
spaces or more kind donations, like disorderly conduct, A walk to remember
to install solar Kate’s, have taken the and to alert staff Three dads who lost their
panels
total to more before it happens. daughters to suicide set out
than £21,000. on treks across the UK to
MAKING A SPLASH raise awareness and funds
In a test of enthusiasm, for suicide prevention charity
THE BEST THING jump height, and PAPYRUS. Initially aiming
SINCE SLICED BREAD? ‘stickability’ (AKA how much for £3,000 each, Andy Airey,
A cheese toastie, mud clings to you after) Mike Palmer, and Tim Owen,
Jessica Gagen,
who was bullied apparently. In the race three-year-old Luna Rudd ended up reaching more
because of her to be named the Nation’s from Northamptonshire than £1 million in donations,
hair colour as a has been named the World
Favourite Sandwich, a which will help so many
child, is now the
first redhead to study by FoodHub found Puddle Jumping Champion! young lives.
be named Miss the humble toastie took For anyone wanting to
England the top spot, beating the follow in Luna’s muddy
NO DINE
likes of previous winner footsteps, we recommend a
the bacon butty, and strong sense of fun, a solid FOR THAT
Dinner parties look set to be a
close competition from a pair of wellies, and a very
thing of the past, as a survey from
sausage sandwich. clear splash zone...
Stoves revealed that 80% consider the
Wimbledon is set to relax its rule enforcing all-white term old-fashioned, and 70% would go
underwear for athletes, in a move to support the comfy and casual rather than dressing
Earth’s population to impress. But the good news for those
mental wellbeing of players on their periods. It’s
officially hit 8 who do host is that 90% of people don’t
billion people – welcome news to reduce stress and the potential
expect you to ‘slave away’ in the kitchen,
more than three trauma from a leak being publicised on such a large
and would be happy with a ready
times the size it platform, and acknowledges the experience of those
was in the 1950s meal – meaning less formality,
who menstruate on the sporting field. and more quality time
together.
What is
Alice in
Wonderland
syndrome?
We all struggle with body image from
time to time. But what if your actual
perception of how you (and things
around you) look is being affected? We
explain more about Alice in Wonderland
syndrome, how it affects different people,
and where you can find help to stop
from falling down this rabbit hole
Writing | Bonnie Evie Gifford Illustrating | Rosan Msgar
I
t can be hard to and how you experience time. It varies from person to person, as
remember sometimes, can lead people to feel like they well as episode to episode.
but we each perceive are physically larger or smaller Typically, these episodes can
the world in our than they really are, or that the last anywhere from a few minutes
own unique way. While furniture or room around them to half an hour, and common
some differences are more is shifting to become nearer or symptoms you may experience
common – we’ve all heard further away. include:
of colour blindness – Mostly found in children, there’s • Migraines
others can occur much less still a lot we don’t know about this • Size, perceptual, sound, or time
frequently. rare neurological disorder, why distortion
Despite the whimsical name, it happens, or what we can do to • Loss of coordination or limb
Alice in Wonderland syndrome fix it. But, as with most wellbeing- control
(AWS), also known as Todd’s related matters, with awareness
syndrome, is a rare neurological comes some relief in itself. Some people also experience
disorder. First discovered in a feeling of disconnection from
the 1950s by British psychiatrist How does AWS their body, thoughts, feelings, and/
Dr John Todd, and named affect people? or environment, which can be
because its symptoms resemble Alice in Wonderland syndrome unsettling.
experiences that happened to can affect your vision, hearing, While children and young adults
Alice in Lewis Carroll’s famous and touch, as well as your are thought to experience it more
novel, the syndrome can cause perception of time – making you often, some experts think that
temporary changes in your think it is passing faster or slower. adults may actually experience
visual perception, body image, Exactly how it can affect you AWS more than is reported. As
wellbeing
may have a higher risk of meditation or practising

experiencing it themselves. mindfulness. Understanding
But what’s important your stress triggers, looking after
to recognise is that your wellbeing (physically and
symptoms aren’t caused mentally), adopting healthier
by hallucinations, problems coping mechanisms, and ensuring
with your vision, or mental or self-care is a part of your regular
neurological illness, rather, routine, can all help to reduce
they are caused by changes in overall stress levels.
how your brain is perceiving Common recommendations
your body, and the environment can include over-the-counter
you are in. painkillers, anti-sickness
medication prescribed by your
How to get a diagnosis GP, acupuncture, or working with
If you think you might be a specialist migraine clinic.
experiencing symptoms of Typically, Alice in Wonderland
we often see with mental health AWS, the first step is to make an syndrome will get better over
concerns, stigma could be playing appointment with your GP. There time. It’s extremely rare
a role here, causing people to not currently isn’t a single test to to have any further
reach out due to worries about diagnose AWS, so your doctor may complications or
describing what they are seeing, need to refer you to specialists problems, so if
and being afraid it might be to rule out other possible causes reading about this
mistaken for hallucinations, or of your symptoms. This could feels like peering
dismissed completely. include getting an MRI scan, an in a looking
EEG, and blood tests to rule out glass, it won’t
What causes AWS? other viruses or infections. last forever and
The actual causes of Alice in you can find
Wonderland syndrome aren’t How do you treat AWS? support.
currently known. Some experts While there aren’t currently any
believe AWS may actually specific treatments to help with To find support for
be an aura (an early sensory AWS, it’s recommended to rest your mental health,
indication of a migraine), or a and wait for symptoms to pass, as visit the Counselling
rare type of migraine in and of while they can be disconcerting, Directory.
itself. Other researchers believe they aren’t technically harmful.
it could be caused by head Some doctors may suggest
trauma, infections, or unusual treating certain symptoms like
electrical activity in the brain migraines, as this may help to
affecting blood flow to the prevent further episodes.
parts of your brain that process If you or your GP
your environment and visual feel that stress could
perceptions. be making your
Other possible causes are symptoms worse,
thought to be stress, epilepsy, they may recommend
stroke, brain tumour, or cough stress management
medicine. Those with a family or relaxation
history of AWS or migraines techniques,
t to ge ther
t o pu
How fo r
ri sis p la n
a c
u lt ti m es
d iffic
Thinking about the ‘worst-case
scenario’ isn’t generally a pleasant
activity, but it could give you the
reassurance you need to proceed
with confidence
Writing | Katie Conibear
P
lanning for a mental
health crisis might
feel daunting, and it’s
important not to get
stuck in a negative spiral. But
some gentle preparation can be
reassuring, helping us to think
about what we can do to better illness, there can be times when Sometimes, when we’re very ill,
support ourselves, or what help you can find yourself unravelling we can’t express our wants and
we might need from others. to the point where you may look needs, so having a plan lets the
We all have moments when we to harm yourself, experience people around us know what to do
feel like life is overwhelming, and suicidal thoughts, or be unsure in times of crisis. Planning before
we need a reset button to start of whether you are able to keep things get rough means you’ll have
afresh. When you have a mental yourself safe. the right help and support ready
wellbeing
to go, which gives you and your together, write down what you’ve
loved ones peace of mind. decided, and ensure everyone has
Planning for difficult times is a copy.
vital if you live with a long-term The plan should include contact
mental illness. Your crisis plan details for your doctor and
should be personalised, so it fits community support team if you’re
your needs. Here are a few things too unwell to reach out directly.
we can do ourselves to prepare for
the future.
Let them know what treatments
you’d prefer, and which you do
Sometimes,
not want, which can help them when we’re very
Before a crisis hits
Talk to your doctor about
to speak up on your behalf. You
should also include how you
ill, we can’t
treatment options and support want them to help you – so add express our
in your area, and create a list
of what’s available, along with
examples of what you will find
helpful and what they shouldn’t
wants and needs
important numbers and opening do, which could be things to say,
times for services. distractions, activities, etc.
You can also research local or You might want to choose
online support groups, and peer someone you trust to advocate
support services. People with for you to doctors and other want to take, or if you wish to stay
similar experiences can still offer professionals, to ensure your at home or in hospital. You might
a different perspective, and can needs are met. They can express need to explain how a religious
share their insights, as well as your views and wishes, and stand or spiritual belief should be part
advice and coping strategies. up for your rights. It can also be of your care. Consider also your
It can also be helpful to put helpful to let your loved ones general lifestyle matters, and how
together a box with items you find know what to look out for before a you like to do things, such as if you
comforting. Fill it with things that crisis hits. Explain what to watch prefer a bath or shower; your likes
distract your mind from negative out for, such as drastic changes and dislikes, such as a favourite
thoughts, like your favourite to your mood and behaviour, and scent, your favourite foods, or
book, movie, and mementoes what these might look like for you. if you prefer being indoors or
that remind you of happier times. outdoors. Plus, who you would
Together, this prep work will Formalise your wishes like to deal with your bills and
enable you to have support to with an advance statement benefits, and who you’d like to
hand as times get tough. An advance statement is a look after any children or pets if
written statement formalising you are unable to yourself, for a
Make a plan with the and explaining your wishes for period of time.
people closest to you times when you can’t express No one enjoys thinking about
When a crisis happens, often them yourself, that doctors and the worst-case scenario, and that’s
loved ones want to do anything healthcare professionals will what a mental health crisis is. But
in their power to help – but they consider when deciding on a having a plan in place, just in case,
may be unsure exactly what that treatment. It’s not legally binding, for that ‘what if’ moment will
is, or what you specifically need. but it should be looked at by the make you feel more in control and
This is why it can be vital to make people in charge of your care. calmer. You deserve to have your
informal plans with your loved Your advance statement needs met, and the best support
ones, so they clearly understand should include your treatment possible, and a crisis plan can be a
the next steps and ways they can preferences, such as whether way to ensure your treatment will
support you best. Talk it through there are medications you don’t start on the right track.
New Year’s wishlist
As a new year rolls around, we can put pressure on ourselves to radically
change, with short-term resolutions that aren’t sustainable. So, instead, why not
focus on a wishlist of qualities to include more of in your life? There’s no time
limit, or pass or fail, simply motivations to start the year as you mean to go on…
e
To show myself th To trust the process. To meet my own
same kindness I Change doesn’t needs and be
show others. happen overnight. proud of that.
To allow myself – for To celebrate

To find patience
to learn from around others’ success
myself and those es,
mistakes and me without it takin
me. We all need ti away from my
g
not strive for w.
and space to gro own.
perfection.
g
To embrace To find somethin
To start valuing boundaries, and know to be grateful fo
r
my own voice setting them isn’t bad. each day, even
and worth. when it’s hard.
relationships
THE
horn
OR
EFFECT
Is this common mind trap impacting your progress at work?
Writing | Kathryn Wheeler Illustrating | Charlotte Reynell
T
here have been negative or positive opinion of on to find this pattern was also
countless studies on someone – a bias that would then true when it came to negative
first impressions, most lead them to overlook any actions characteristics: the ‘horn effect’.
likely because we can’t or characteristics that might Now, while the theory may be a
stop agonising over them after prove otherwise. The concept has century old, if we take some time
we’ve met someone we want to its origins in the work of 1920s to ruminate on it, many of us may
impress for the first time. While American psychologist Edward be able to point to examples in our
some research will tell you that Thorndike. In an experiment, own lives where snap judgements
people make their minds up about Thorndike asked commanding have left a lasting impression,
you within the first 12 seconds, officers to rate the physique, both good and bad – regardless
and others will point to your intelligence, leadership, and of any countering evidence. And,
appearance as the source of the character traits of soldiers, like the scenario in Thorndike’s
impression you give, the general before having any interactions original experiments, one place
consensus is that, regardless of with them. What he saw was that this kind of thinking is rife is in
how they are formed, they do when the officer gave a soldier the workplace.
count – but maybe they count too a high rating in one category, One person might become the
much… they tended to also give them star, a regular employee of the
The ‘halo or horn effect’ refers high ratings in the others, too. month, any slip-ups easily glossed
to when a first impression He named this the ‘halo effect’. over, while opportunities flow
leads someone to have a biased On the flip side, Thorndike went towards them and treatment from >>>
higher-ups is favourable, to say
the least. It could be said that this
person is the recipient of the ‘halo
effect’. On the flip side, the other
might have made a mistake, such
as turning up late one day. Their
negative traits have been decided:
they’re lazy and unreliable. When
it comes to distributing important
tasks, or those which would
aid career progression, they’re
overlooked – perhaps in favour of
those in the ‘halo effect’.
And it’s not too difficult to
understand how this happens
in the first place. When we don’t
have all the information about a
person or a scenario, our brains
automatically try to fill in the
gaps using the information that
is in front of us. One virtuous act
in isolation can lead us to apply
the same standards to all parts of
a person – it’s easy to make the
jump when there’s nothing else
trying to catch your attention. But
a major problem with making
these judgements is that they’re
superficial. It’s exactly those
countering clues that come
together to form the complex
people that we are. We don’t live
in a black-and-white world where
people can be categorised as
either ‘good’ or ‘bad’.
Help! I’m stuck in

the ‘horn effect’
If what you’ve been reading here
is striking a chord, and you think
you might be stuck in the ‘horn
effect’, know that you’re not
trapped in a hopeless scenario,
and there are a number of steps
that you can take to challenge
those initial impressions, as well
relationships
as work on your own mindset “With important relationships, interesting, so focus on individuals’
when it comes to the relationships you might need to ask for skills and the role they can play
that you have with others. feedback. Bad first impressions within the workplace, rather than
Anji McGrandles is a can often come from genuine things like their appearance.”
workplace mental wellbeing mistakes, so don’t be afraid to ask Anji also points out that, often,
expert, and founder of The for feedback and, if necessary, our impressions and opinions can
Mind Tribe, and she suggests apologise.” be influenced by our moods, so
starting by facing your feelings. it’s always worth checking in with
“Use the opportunity to get yourself to consider whether you
some perspective. Bad first might have felt the same way had
impressions are common, and the first meeting been on another
not the end of the world – we Different day. For example, if you’ve rushed
can’t be all things to all people, personalities into work having just missed your
and it’s important to recognise
bring with them
bus, got caught in the rain as you
that,” she explains. walked from the bus stop, and sat
This is a good time to consider fresh perspectives down only to realise you left your
the relationship that you have lunch at home, it would be fair to
with yourself. When we feel Breaking the cycle say you may not be in the most
secure within ourselves, and are As uncomfortable as it may be, favourable mood.
confident in the choices that we most of us can probably recall a “Think ‘big picture’ when it
make and the people that we are, time when we’ve made the same comes to making decisions or
other people’s reactions don’t have judgements about other people, taking action,” Anji suggests.
such a harsh impact on us. That finding first impressions hard to “It’s important to be fair in the
said, in a working environment, let go of once we’ve categorised workplace – if you are reviewing
that can only carry you so far the person. In our personal a team member or selecting
before you need to consider lives, this can halt relationships someone for a job, then focus on
addressing it. from developing in a healthy the facts. Ahead of meetings or
“If you are caught up in a way – either because we’ve decision-making, put together a
negative interaction don’t be written someone off, or we’re list of neutral objective questions
afraid to acknowledge it and take overlooking red flags in someone’s that will help you reach your goal.
action to change it,” Anji says. behaviour. But, when it comes “Don’t be afraid to bring in a
“For example, if you are in a to the workplace, the high stakes colleague to give you a different/
meeting and it’s not going well, mean that we can affect others’ neutral perspective on important
rather than let it escalate, address progression, and their happiness workplace decisions. We all have
it and make an effort to improve in their roles. bad days, so keep an open mind
the situation. “Recognising that we do this and give people a second chance.”
“If you want to change is a big step in challenging this At the end of the day, if
someone’s opinion, then interact behaviour,” Anji says. “Screening Thorndike’s research is to be
more with them so they can job applications is a good starting followed, making snap judgements
see more of your positive traits. point, as the ‘halo and horn effect’ is just something that we humans
Get to know them more, and is prevalent during the recruitment do. But with awareness and care,
over time they will experience process. we can make choices to minimise
more consistent positive “Remember, different the effects and, when it comes to
interactions, which can influence personalities bring with them the workplace, create an accepting,
their impression of you,” Anji fresh perspectives and experiences forgiving, and welcoming
continues. that make work more creative and environment for all.
The dilemmas of
modern-day dating
Our brand new columnist, author and life coach Michelle Elman,
questions the societal scrutiny and pressures put on singletons,
and explores how we can reframe the dating game
I
f you have been single long you aren’t working hard enough “Maybe you are too picky?”
enough, odds are someone to rectify the problem that is Well, if you are not desperate
will have asked you ‘why’ you ‘being single’. Just because you are and you are putting yourself out
are still single. This question has single, doesn’t mean you have to there enough, then you must be
always irked me, because it implies be dating. You are allowed to just too picky! You’d hope I would be
that being in a relationship is the want to be single. And even if you picky! Think about how much
default, when actually it’s the are dating, it is undeniable that time you spend with a person
opposite. We come into this world dating consumes a lot of time and when you are in a relationship.
single and, one way or another, energy, so it’s understandable if it’s Typically, it’s the person you
we leave this world alone, too. Not not always the top of your priority spend the most time with. With
everyone wants a relationship, list. There will be times when your our growing loss of community,
and during my eight years of being work comes first, and there will we as a society now place more
single, I hated being asked this be times when you come first. emphasis on our primary
question, but what I hated even Being single is not a fault that romantic relationship, so you
more was when people would try needs fixing. better pick someone who you like
to answer it for you. “Maybe you being around. I am a big believer
aren’t putting yourself out there “You will meet someone in the phrase ‘you become the five
enough?” “You will meet someone when you least expect it” people you spend the most time
when you least expect it” “Maybe First they blame you for not with’ and so if a person is going
you’re too picky?” making enough effort, and then to consume so much of your time
So, whether you’re sick of hearing they blame you for making too and energy, damn right you need
these same questions, or you want much. After all, you don’t want to to pick wisely!
to understand why, even with be desperate. Can you imagine if
the best intentions, they can be we said this about any other goal Ultimately, we need to reframe
problematic, let’s unpick these you wanted to achieve? Sending in society’s view on what it means to
common sentiments singles hear your CV to a job you want would be single. We need to stop seeing
all too often: be seen as ‘desperate’. It makes it as a sign of our unlovability, or
no sense. This is a phrase often that there is something wrong
“Maybe you aren’t putting uttered by people in hindsight, but with us. You can actively choose
yourself out there enough?” the truth is rarely close to it. There to be single, and by doing so, the
The implication here is that if you is no shame in actively pursuing a chance you will enjoy your single
are single, it is your own fault, and relationship. period will increase. It will also
@MICHELLELELMAN
When we see
being single as
a conscious life
choice, then we stop
seeing it as a worst-
case scenario
so dearly, makes this column even
more special. I truly believe that
if we only give space and air to
the negative events in the world,
that’s what we focus on, and that’s
why Happiful is so important to
making a difference to the media
we absorb.
A huge thank you also to
Grace Victory who has held this
space for years, and has left
some massive shoes to fill. It is
such a privilege to know Grace
personally, and to say she is one-
of-a-kind is an understatement.
She lifts people up, and
champions those around her like
no other, and I’m thrilled that she’s
now spending much needed time
with her two babies.
Love, Michelle
make dating infinitely easier! than that. You deserve someone

When we see being single as a who you respect, and are proud to
conscious life choice, then we stop introduce as your partner.
seeing it as a worst-case scenario. And before I end, I want to
Conversely, if we aren’t OK with thank Happiful for giving me my
being alone, then we become own column. It has always been We’re excited to introduce Michelle
Elman, an author, TEDx speaker, and
vulnerable to picking anyone such a life goal of mine to have a five-board accredited life coach, as
who will have us in order to avoid column, and to have achieved it Happiful’s new columnist. Follow her
loneliness. You deserve better in a magazine I have always loved on Instagram @michellelelman
Living seasonally:
winter
As part of a new series of articles,
we’ll be exploring how to deepen
our connection with the world
around us, and embrace the
seasonal gifts nature has to offer.
So, first let’s set foot into a
winter wonderland…
Writing | Caroline Butterwick
W
rapped in my dressing
gown, I pad out on
to my front step,
into the biting cold darkness of
the morning, and listen to the
quiet. There is the occasional
rumble of a car driving down the
nearby dual carriageway, and
the twitter of birds waking up,
their song abrading the dawn.
It is peaceful, tranquil, and I
stare down my suburban street,
at the orbs of streetlights and
the rows of houses where some
are still asleep, while others’
windows glow as people make
their breakfasts and prepare for
another winter’s day.
the art of wellness
Despite the often hectic weeks From Yule, otherwise known birds. There is a joy to knowing
around Christmas and New Year, as the winter solstice, on 21 the breed of each goose I throw
there is a sense of quiet during December, the hours of daylight seeds to. Lots of beautiful Canada
winter. Beyond festive parties and begin to increase, as each day geese are here, and others too,
presents, this is the perfect time to lengthens little by little. This searching the ground for food.
reflect, and take stock of our lives. year, I am getting up to watch There’s the greylag goose, eyeing
Most of us are familiar with the the sunrise on the solstice – the bag of waterfowl food I clutch.
idea that nature is beneficial to something I have always wanted It’s a delight to place a handful
our physical and mental health. to do. Clutching a flask of coffee as of feed on the ground for it to
But for many, it isn’t entwined in the sun emerges on the horizon, peck at gratefully. This time of
our days. For me, that’s definitely this will be a chance to reflect on year especially, helping wildlife
the case. When I go for a hike the past year, and set intentions get through the cold months is
or spend time in my garden, for what I want the next to bring, important. It reminds me of the
my mood is lifted, but I don’t do my hopes expanding as the daily difference we can all make.
this enough. So, what can I do sunlight waxes. And I think, too, there is
to increase my connection with something mindful about simple
nature? acts like feeding the geese. I’m not
I’ve experienced serious
mental health issues in the Nature can worrying about that upcoming
deadline, or the email I need to
past – five years ago, I was in
hospital, struggling with severe
remind us of reply to. Instead, I am focused
on making sure each bird gets a
depression. And while low mood
and anxiety are still a part of my
life beyond good amount of seed, and the joy
of watching their little heads bob
life, I have moved on a long way our day-to-day as they peck away at the ground,
worries
since then. Doing things like circles of them surrounding each
connecting with nature to benefit pile of food.
my wellbeing seems particularly After I feed the geese, I walk
important as I try to move Imbolc is a sabbat marked on a lap around the lake, admiring
forwards and reclaim myself. 1 February, and celebrates the the coots and ducks I spot along
Can a year of living more stirrings of spring. We can plant the way, sleeping on the shore or
seasonally help? seeds and think about our hopes waddling along the path. Even in
growing. I will light a candle and winter, there is beauty for us to
The Wheel of the Year reflect on how the daylight is experience.
Observing how nature shifts with increasing, and what I need to do Nature can remind us of life
the seasons is a joy. Though the to make those intentions I set at beyond our day-to-day worries.
skeletal trees may make us think Yule become a reality. These little And so, this year, I am making
of winter as a time of lack, there rituals are a way of working with more of an effort to get out there.
is so much happening beneath nature, of thinking about how it Each day, I will do something to
the surface as the northern relates to our lives. connect with the seasons, from
hemisphere prepares for spring. marking the sabbats to helping
I’m drawn to the idea of the Learning about nature wildlife, with the hope it brings me
Wheel of the Year, which is how Learning about nature is also closer to the world.
some neo-pagans mark the a great way for us to connect
changing seasons through the with it more. I’m lucky to have Join in a year of living seasonally,
observation of eight sabbats a park near where I live where and tag Happiful on social media –
spread throughout the year. I often go to walk and feed the we can’t wait to see your adventures!
Ask the experts
What are chakras?
Yoga teacher and certified holistic therapist

Thimela Garcia answers your questions on chakras
Get emotional support on the Therapy Directory.
Q
What exactly are 114 chakras in the human regulate the flow of universal or
anatomy. However, the most spiritual energy within us.
chakras?
important ones are the seven According to chakras’ location
A The chakras are vortexes of

energy. They are believed to
be the energy centres in your body
main chakras that run from the
base of the spine to the top of
the head. These are known as
in the body, they relate to certain
organs and glands, as well as
to systems in our bodies. The
responsible for all life experiences, the primary, or main, chakras seven main chakras are the ones
physical and spiritual. because it is thought that they we are able to work with on a
The Sanskrit word ‘chakra’ have a direct influence on the regular basis to improve our
means ‘wheel’, and according to physical, mental, and emotional mental, physical, and spiritual
Indian traditions there are around bodies. They also control and wellbeing.
Q
eating unhealthily, prolonged • You are feeling ‘off’ lately
I’ve heard chakras stress, or self-destructive • You are getting sick frequently
can become blocked. behaviour, may cause the chakras • You feel there’s a black cloud
How can you tell if this to become imbalanced. Too much above you
happens? or too little life force flowing in the • Experiencing digestion problems
chakras can cause imbalances • Regular headaches, restless
A Experiencing too much

stress, physically or
mentally, may cause one or more
within them.
Every chakra has unique
symptoms indicating under or over
sleep, tired often, and nightmares
• Feeling fearful and anxious
• Feeling depressed and lonely
chakras to be out of balance. activity. Here are some common • Experiencing a lack of energy
Personal habits such as poor warning signs that your chakras • Having a lack of purpose
physical alignment or posture, might be off balance: • Creative energy is not flowing
Therapy Directory is part of the Happiful Family | Helping you find the help you need
Q
How can we unblock
our chakras?
A Unblocking your chakras is

about removing stagnant
and dense energies from your
chakras to allow free flow of
prana (life force).
If you’re experiencing
imbalances in one chakra,
this will impact other chakras,
bringing a general imbalance
in the whole system. Often the
area in your body where you
are experiencing the problem
is an indicator that the chakra
associated with that part is the
one giving you trouble. However,
Thimela’s top tips for working with chakras, day-to-day: this is not always the case. For
example: an overactive solar
1. C
ultivate a regular self-care routine that involves a simple yet plexus chakra can manifest in
effective chakra healing practice. It could be a chakra visualisation someone as being very greedy
meditation, chakra mantra meditation, or positive affirmations and arrogant. They tend to
for the chakras, for example. Work with the chakras, enjoy the dominate and suppress others
experience of becoming more intuitive, and tuning-in to the subtle in order to be in control of every
energies of your bodies. situation. These actions can
2. Invest in good texts and chakra resources and put into practice automatically block the heart
what you have learned. See how that information is related to you chakra, which is a spiritual chakra
and your life. associated with love, compassion,
3. Take your time to understand the chakra basics. This will help you and kindness.
to connect better with your energy centres, and pinpoint the chakra In order to unblock your chakras,
that needs your attention. A seven-week journey through the chakras it is necessary to understand
tends to work really well for beginners. Each week you concentrate on what is the root cause and where
one particular chakra, starting with the root chakra, at the base of the and how in your body this is
spine, and moving up to the crown chakra, at the top of the head. manifesting.
Creativity takes courage
HENRI MATISSE
Photography | Muhammad Rahim Ali

the art of wellness
Art imitating life

Paintings, photography, sculptures, and scrapbooks – how
can art be used to support us through difficult times?
Writing | Kathryn Wheeler Illustrating | Rosan Magar
I
n the 20th century, brutal treatment. But Edward saw about it,” Chloe says. “For me, art
tuberculosis was a big another way forward. For him, psychotherapy offered a bridge
problem in the UK, claiming art therapy was about creative between those big feelings and the
countless lives, and seeing many expression – not evidence to pass expression of those feelings. Being
others confined to sanatoriums. on to psychiatrists to be analysed able to express ourselves, and feel
As you might expect, this would – but art for art’s sake, and for understood by another, feels like
have been a frightening and healing. In his lifetime, Edward such a healing human experience.
frustrating time, but among the gathered more than 5,000 works Combining that with one of my
sickness and sadness, doctors of art from his patients, from great loves, art, feels like such a
observed that patients who drew drawing to ceramics, sculptures to privilege and pleasure.
and painted were better able to paintings, preserved today by the “Art psychotherapy is a form
cope with both their illness, and Adamson Collection Trust. of psychotherapy practised
their stay at the hospitals. The by qualified, registered art
practice quickly spread and, in Painting a picture psychotherapists,” she explains.
1964, the British Association of These days, the NHS states “It can provide you with an
Art Therapists was founded. that there are more than 4,400 opportunity to use artmaking to
From 1948 until he retired in registered art therapists in the UK, explore issues or themes that are
1981, Edward Adamson became including art, drama, and music relevant and personal to you, and
the first artist to be employed therapists, like Chloe Sparrow. can be used to explore a wide
by the NHS. When Edward first “I remember so clearly what range of difficulties.
began his work, people living with it was like to experience really “You don’t need to be ‘good’
mental health problems did not big feelings, but not have the at art in order to benefit from
have rights, and were subjected to vocabulary, or confidence, to talk art psychotherapy. The purpose >>>
the art of wellness
of the artmaking is to facilitate helpful exercise for those who

personal growth, and a greater experienced trauma, as they are
MEET THE EXPERT
understanding of the self, and you able to dismiss or re-engage with
may find that particular themes their artwork in accordance with
begin to emerge through the their needs during the session.
colours, shapes, and concepts, in “Art also provides us with ample
your artwork.” opportunity to find symbolism
Chloe explains how, in most and metaphor, which in therapy
sessions, the therapist will provide become new or safer ways of
you with a variety of art materials saying something about ourselves. Chloe Sparrow is an art
psychotherapist, nature-inspired
and options that you can then Furthermore, when we create
therapist, and painter. Visit the
pick from. With this as your artwork we bring something into Counselling Directory for more.
starting point, you might work the world. The artwork becomes
from a prompt provided by the an object with its own physical
therapist or, instead, approach presence. By putting artwork based practices can support young
your work with pure creativity and ‘out there’ within the context people aged 10–24 who have had
spontaneity. From there, there of therapy, it can be explored adverse childhood experiences
may then be time for discussion and discussed, offering us new (ACEs), which are potentially
and reflection though, of course, perspectives and deeper insight traumatic events that occur in
the precise structure of a session childhood.
will be entirely unique from “By the age of eight, seven in
person to person. 10 children report at least one
ACE, and one in 10 children
The focus point Being able to report three or more ACEs,” Anna
When it comes to therapy, one Mankee-Williams, senior research
size really doesn’t fit all, and express ourselves fellow and ATTUNE project lead
art therapy offers a positive
alternative.
feels like such a at Falmouth University, tells us.
“Evidence suggests that ACEs
“Because art psychotherapy healing human have mental health impacts
combines psychotherapeutic across the lifespan, and reduce
techniques with creative experience life expectancy by up to 20 years.”
processes, it can provide you Understanding the mechanisms
with the opportunity to express into our inner world. Oftentimes, by which ACEs, and individual
and process your thoughts and the artwork becomes a container and wider environmental factors,
feelings in a creative way, rather for deep emotions, giving the impact mental health and
than relying on words alone,” client a new opportunity to move influence resilience and recovery,
Chloe says. “This can feel like forward in life.” are important as we plan health,
a huge relief for someone who care, and educational provision
doesn’t feel like they have the Art in action into the future.
words to talk about what troubles In an exciting project, led by As Anna explains, art therapies
them most.” Oxford University’s psychiatry are emerging as important
As an example, Chloe explains department, and Falmouth approaches for the treatment
how, during a therapy session, University’s creative practitioners of childhood trauma, and the
she and her clients often create a representing art, animation, film, evidence so far suggests that arts-
‘reference point’, a physical object dance, and photography, ATTUNE based interventions, like the ones
that can be looked at and held. As is a UK Research and Innovation offered on the ATTUNE project,
Chloe sees it, this is a particularly funded study looking at how arts- can improve young people’s sense >>>
Shadow, and
I have four bunnies Chewi, Annie,
ful for my stress.
Minty and they are very help
(Annie’s image)
“When I get stressed, I go to the funfairs

stop
to spin as it dissociates me enough to
stress.” (Annie’s image)
remembering my
“I think they were

I want to try to quite fun, and they
find different gave me a new aspect
of what the community
methods of help “I came out to my mum as bisexual
and I got this flag to show I’m prou
is doing for young
for other people of who I am.” (Lucy’s image)

d people,” Lucy says. “The best
thing about this project is
meeting other people who are
of achievement, self-confidence, take photos, and I knew I almost interested in the same stuff, and
self-esteem, social skills, conflict had to for the project. it shows that you’re not alone.”
resolution, problem-solving, “I’m interested in these projects
relationships, and their sense of because I have gone through a lot Putting you in
belonging. So far, the young people of stuff, which has caused me to go the picture
on the project have participated in through CAMHS and other mental There are so many ways for us
a number of different art forms – health services, and I want to try to to express ourselves. Moving
Annie and Lucy*, both 13 years old, find different methods of help for forward from the compassionate
are two such participants. other people other than me. I want foundation that Edward
“So far, with ATTUNE I have done to try to help research to do with Adamson laid such a long time
a photography course,” Annie the fact that some people don’t ago, into a digital age – with
says. “The aim of the photography cope the same, but photography, the help of therapists and
project was to have a zine on and recording, and everything like professionals, or in small ways
mental health, and what can make that can help with those types of in our daily lives – forget the
mental health better. I think that things.” end project, the only thing that
taking photos actually really does Lucy has also completed a matters is that you’re expressing
help mental health, although it photography course, as well as a yourself. After all, aren’t we all a
doesn’t work for everyone. But it gaming project – experiences she work in progress?
definitely worked for me, because says she looks forward to adding
I had the motivation to get out and on to future college applications. *Names have been changed.
Happiful
reads...
From an activity book about self-healing, to
discovering your hygge home, here are four
books you won’t want to miss this month
Writing | Lauren Bromley-Bird
H
ave you ever
The Year I Stopped
stopped to notice the
to Notice by
way the wind feels
Miranda Keeling
as it brushes though
Out now
your hair, or the faces you time to notice the little things
pass by on the street? A busy around us.
lifestyle can prevent us from Inspired by the popular
enjoying the simple pleasures Twitter account, The Year I it, all from the eyes of author
in life, but sometimes all we Stopped to Notice documents Miranda Keeling. If you need a
need to relieve ourselves from the sublime beauty of ordinary sign to slow down and savour
everyday stress is to simply moments in everyday life, and the moment, take this book as
slow down, and take the the emotions that come with inspiration.
Must reads
My Hygge Home: Healing Through Made With
How To Make Words by Rupi Love by Tom
Home Your Happy Kaur Daley
Place by Meik Out now Out now
Wiking If you find it easier Are you in
Out now to express yourself need of a new
The urge to embrace the warm through written words, poet Rupi hobby? Yarn
and cosy art of hygge is in full Kaur welcomes you to express at the ready, it’s time to get
Book covers | amazon.co.uk
force this winter, and who better yourself creatively through creative. Discover the joy of
to teach us about the Danish writing by giving you the space knitting and crochet, and seek
concept of cosiness than the to explore your healing journey. creative inspiration from Tom
CEO of the Happiness Research The beautiful book is filled with Daley’s book, Made With Love,
Institute? Packed with advice and written activities that explore with more than 30 wonderful
tips, discover how to add a touch themes of healing, trauma, loss, crafting projects to choose
of hygge to your home. heartache, and more. from.
4 ways being a ‘super-helper’
could be harming you
Are you always putting others’ needs before your own, to the point
where you have no time for yourself? You could be a ‘super-helper’,
and it might be doing you more harm than good…
Writing | Jess Baker and Rod Vincent Illustrating | Rosan Magar
S
ome of us are better syndrome’ – where people feel gyms, community groups, and
at helping others than compelled to help others, but don’t charities. Helping whenever and
we are at looking after look after their own needs. wherever they can, either at work
ourselves. Maybe this And super-helpers are all around or in their own time. They are the
sounds familiar to you personally, us. Most obviously you will find problem-solvers, the mediators,
or perhaps it conjures up an them in the caring professions, and the fixers, who can’t resist any
image of someone you know. giving strength to our schools, opportunity to help.
These are the ones who are clinics, care homes, and hospitals. But, as kind as it is to want to
susceptible to the ‘super-helper But they are also in offices, support others, the old adage ‘you
relationships
SIGNS THAT can’t pour from an empty cup’ is

well-known for a good reason.
YOU MIGHT BE A
It’s important to spot the signs of
COMPULSIVE HELPER: being a super-helper early, so you
• You help in all aspects of your can take action before you reach
life – your job, family, friends, a state of collapse. Here, we’re It’s ironic that
volunteering, colleagues, sharing the four most common those who are so
clients, neighbours… An
endless list.
adverse consequences.
good at looking
• You are the one that everyone EXHAUSTION after others are
turns to, the first port of call Many helpers run on empty and often less kind to
when they are in distress.
• You struggle to say no to
take this for granted. Are you
tired all the time? Do you have no
themselves
requests for help. time for yourself? Is your sleep
• People open up to you, even disturbed? Do you suffer from SELF-CRITICISM
when you’ve just met them. muscle tension or headaches? Do It’s ironic that those who are so
• You ask lots of questions, but you feel irritable, tetchy or just good at looking after others are
notice that other people don’t weighed down? often less kind to themselves.
show as much interest in Helpers’ self-criticism typically
what’s going on in your life. RESENTMENT operates on two levels. Do you
• Your relationships lack balance Are you stretched out like an criticise yourself for not helping
– you help people, but they elastic band that’s eventually enough (helper’s guilt)? Do you
seldom help you. You make going to snap? It’s easy to say you criticise yourself for experiencing
all the effort (remembering don’t want anything in return the other three adverse impacts of
birthdays, keeping in touch, for helping, but the reality is it’s the ‘super-helper syndrome’ – for
sending well-wishes for that hard to keep going indefinitely if feeling exhausted, resentful, or
job interview, etc.). you get little reward. At the very exploited?
• You get swept up in other least, you deserve thanks and
people’s drama. You’re recognition. Do you find yourself If you are at the point where you
constantly offering advice or ruminating on how much you do are finding it difficult to look
trying to fix their situation. for others? after your own needs, take a step
• You feel guilty if unable to help. back. Like everyone else, there
• You put everyone else’s needs EXPLOITATION are times when you need comfort,
above your own. If you never express any needs, rest, reassurance, sustenance,
• You deny you have any needs then it’s easy (and convenient, too) or time to yourself. And if you
of your own, using excuses like for other people to act as if you don’t express your needs, how
‘I’m fine, you carry on.’ don’t have any, to take advantage can anyone else know how to
• If someone asked you, you’d of your help. If you give the take care of you when you are
struggle to say what you need. impression you want nothing in struggling?
If pressed, everything you return, you’ll often get nothing in
could think of would really be return. That’s why it’s important to Jess Baker and Rod Vincent are
about meeting other’s needs. take a hard look at whether some chartered psychologists and the
• You turn to false needs. of the people you are helping are authors of ‘The Super-Helper
• You feel guilty for looking after exploiting you. Do they really Syndrome: A Survival Guide for
yourself. need help at all? Do they need Compassionate People’ (Flint Books,
your help? hardback, £18.99).
Reframe the
‘what ifs’
Self-doubt can be a sneaky thing, holding you back
from your full potential. But when those pesky ‘what
ifs’ crop up to make you falter, flip the script and
know you have the power to take that step forward
What if I make the

wrong decision?
CHANGE TO
What if there were no

wrong choices, just What if I don’t
different, exciting achieve my
paths to take? dreams?
CHANGE TO
What if you
What if I fail? do everything
CHANGE TO
you hoped for,
What if I and more?
succeed? What if I’m
not good What if I make a
What if it’s not enough? fool of myself?
worth it? CHANGE TO CHANGE TO
CHANGE TO
What if I What if everyone
What if you find your is cheering you on,
own meaning and have been regardless of what
value in actions? all along? happens?
food & health
How to support someone

who’s stopped drinking
Giving up alcohol can be a massive challenge – but also brings many benefits.
So, what can you do to help a friend or loved one on the journey?
W
hen my husband “Making changes in relation from negatively affecting people’s
decided to stop to problematic alcohol mental health, emotional
drinking alcohol, drinking, for some, can be wellbeing, and can be devastating
I wanted to do all extremely challenging and to relationships. Equally,
I could to help him. But worries difficult,” says Andrew Harvey, recovery and positive change in
about what to say – or what not to a psychotherapeutic counsellor people’s relationship with alcohol
say – and the supportive actions I and addictions specialist. can enable stability, hope, and a
should take, made it a challenge “Support from people around the strengthening of relationships for
to know how I could best be person making changes can be those around them.”
there for him. extremely helpful, but has the
There are many reasons why potential to be difficult to do. Support from the start
someone may cut back, or stop “Problematic drinking can be When our loved one tells us
drinking alcohol altogether. devastating for people affected by they are going to stop drinking,
For some, challenges like Dry it, the drinker and those around we need to show them empathy
January and Sober October give them,” Andrew adds. “There and compassion. “Patience
us the chance to rethink our is help, there is support, not is also often important, as
relationship with alcohol, while only for the drinker but also for change doesn’t always happen
others may be experiencing affected others. Depending upon in a straight line or at a pace
alcohol addiction. the severity of the issue, recovery we would like,” says Andrew.
Whatever the reason, when with additional support might be “Sometimes people’s motivations
someone we care about tells us the best option.” and desire for change wavers.
they are going to stop drinking, Harmful drinking can often Often asking someone how they
it’s important that we respond in impact the people around them, would like to be supported in
a supportive way. says Andrew. “This can range making the change is helpful to >>>
them, and then following through
on that, when we can.”
Try to have an open
conversation with them,
letting them lead, to help you
understand how you can best be
there for them. While you can
gently ask about their reasons for
deciding to stop drinking, avoid
being pushy with this, as some
people may not want to go into a
lot of detail about why they have
made this decision. Respect that
they are making this change.
And, for many, it’s a hugely
positive change to make. “The
benefits to people making
changes to their relationship with
alcohol are often in proportion
to the damage that the drinking
is doing,” says Andrew. “It can
range from marginal health gains
to saving their lives.”
It can be dangerous for some
people to stop or reduce their
MEET THE EXPERT
alcohol consumption too Andrew Harvey is a
quickly, so they should speak to psychotherapeutic
counsellor. Find out more on
their GP before they go ahead, the Counselling Directory.
to make sure they can get the
right treatment and support.
If they’re anxious about doing
this, you could offer to go to the
appointment with them. and acknowledge their progress. would be OK to go to places that
He suggests taking time to do serve alcohol, especially in the
Socialising enjoyable, non-drinking-related first year. Communication is
There are many ways we can activities with them, too. important, as everyone will have
support someone on this journey. A lot of socialising in our society different needs.
Andrew advises checking in with is based around alcohol. When “Ask the person concerned
them, if they find that helpful, my husband stopped drinking, what they feel they need,” says
and that we can help them realise we talked about whether it Andrew. “For some, being around
food & health
Positive change in people’s “It can be helpful to think

about the difference between
relationship with alcohol lapse and relapse. A lapse is a
setback, a drinking episode.
can enable stability, hope, A relapse is when someone is
stuck in that lapse. Reacting
and a strengthening of to a lapse in a helpful way can

help the drinker to move back
relationships for those into moving forward.”

Looking after yourself
is important, too. Setting
around them boundaries is a key part of
this. Andrew says it’s about
alcohol will be very difficult, and Not everyone finds alcohol-free knowing you can’t do the
potentially cause cravings.” versions of traditionally alcoholic change for the person – you
Perhaps going to a place drinks a good option. They can be their compassionate
like a coffee shop is a better may find it triggers a craving coach, but you can’t play the
option. But also, be aware of for alcohol, or simply prefer match for them. If you’re
unintentionally excluding the other soft drinks. This is where finding things hard, reach out
person from social events. If you communication is key. for support.
regularly go to the pub together Although it’s not meant with bad The Drink Aware website
for a quiz night, don’t assume intentions, we’ve had occasions (drinkaware.co.uk) is a really
that you should no longer invite where someone will say, “Oh, just useful resource for both
them. have a small one!” when offering the person who’s stopping
For my husband, finding non- a drink at Christmas. Comments drinking, and yourself.
alcoholic drinks to enjoy when like this can make things harder Here you can find helplines,
we’re out has been helpful. for the person. It’s important to advice, and search for support
Increasing numbers of pubs, respect their decision not to drink. available where you live.
bars, and restaurants serve these I’m very proud of my husband
– it’s rare these days that he’s Finding support for dealing with his drinking.
stuck with a pint of lemonade Sometimes they may struggle, It’s more than eight years since
as the only option. In the first and that’s OK. “It’s important he last drank alcohol, and
year after he stopped drinking, to note that change is often we’ve learnt so much on the
I avoided having alcohol when not straightforward, and lapse way. He tells me how he feels
we were out. Instead, we’d enjoy or relapse occurs. This can be healthier for it, and how his
trying out mocktail menus a learning opportunity,” says mental health has benefited.
together. Small things, like Andrew. “It might point to Supporting someone who has
serving non-alcoholic wine in a needing to do things differently, it stopped drinking is a really
wine glass, can help the person might indicate that more support worthwhile thing to do, for
feel more included. is required. both of you.
enough You are
How would your life be different if you truly believed that you are enough,
exactly as you are right now? World renowned therapist and creator of
Rapid Transformational Therapy® Marisa Peer shares why, and how,
telling yourself this simple fact could change everything, for good…
Writing | Lucy Donoughue
I
’ll confess that ‘not enough’ is therapeutic approach, Rapid happier, healthier, and longer
a statement that has peppered Transformational Therapy®, a lives. So we’re grateful that she’s
many of my life choices. I practice that has gained global sharing her knowledge with
wasn’t qualified enough to acclaim. Happiful, too, and how you can
apply for a job I once wanted, I Having started her career begin to banish the ‘not enoughs’,
wasn’t clever enough to sign up to working in the health and fitness by taking on board these five
a psychology course that piqued industry in the 1980s, Marisa actionable suggestions from
my interest, and romantically, quickly realised that there Marisa:
well there were a thousand ‘not was too great an emphasis on
enoughs’ that built invisible, shrinking ourselves physically Acknowledge fear of
impenetrable barriers all around and mentally, rather than loving rejection, then let it pass
me throughout my 20s. and backing ourselves. The When we’re born on the planet,
If this resonates with you in any transition from self-loathing to we have one need and that’s to
way, then Marisa Peer’s words self-love, she now insists, stems make it, to survive. As a baby you
could well be the antidote to the from upgrading your self-talk, know that you’ll survive if you
‘not enough’ epidemic that seems and she’s passionate about this can find connection and avoid
to impact so many of us. With message. rejection. As a result, we are all
more than 30 years’ experience From the development of RTT® scared of rejection, but the truth
in the field of psychotherapy to her I Am Enough movement, is that, as an adult, nobody can
and hypnotherapy, Marisa Marisa is evidently on a life- reject you unless you give them
has also developed her own long mission to help people live your consent.
positive pointers
You have a choice

every day, and not
letting destructive
criticisms in can
actually change
your life
Do not let rejection in, let it
go over your head. If it hurts,
remind yourself it’s just someone’s
opinion, and it doesn’t matter.
Let it go. When someone says
something harsh, say something
nice to yourself, tell yourself that
you are a good person. Remember
that people can be mean, unkind,
and hurtful, but critical people
have the most criticism reserved
for themselves.
You have a choice every day, and
not letting destructive criticisms
in can actually change your life.
Think better thoughts

Every day your mind is busy
making your thoughts real, and
your body responds to your
thoughts. We know that because
if we think of something sad,
our eyes might fill up with
tears; if we think of something
embarrassing, our cheeks might
go red. So our job, which is a
great job, is to start thinking >>>
HOW DOES RAPID
TRANSFORMATIONAL
THERAPY® WORK?
Working with a trained Rapid

Visit iamenough.com for online talks and
Transformational Therapy®
marisapeer.com to find out more about her
work, training and books. therapist will help you to better
interpret and understand events,
Listen to the full conversation with Marisa how they have or are affecting
on Happiful’s podcast ‘I am. I have’. you, and how you can change
your reaction to these in the
future. RTT® may be able to help
better thoughts. Instead of have to be good at everything. you overcome specific issues if
thinking ‘What if I mess up this We’ve got to increase self-praise you are struggling with feelings
interview and they don’t like me?’, and minimise the criticism, of anxiety, depression, or panic
how about ‘What if they think I’m because nothing will wither and attacks by, for example, helping
just the most amazing candidate?’ diminish your spirit more than you to change automatic feelings
Everything begins with a your inner critic. of fear into excitement, or
thought, and we’re all trying to breaking away from behaviours
change our actions, when what The power of that are causing physical or
we really need to do is change our ‘I am enough’ emotional pain.
thinking. The good news is that If you think you are not enough, Helping to address the root
our thoughts are ours to change, how does that make you feel? cause of issues, rather than
upgrade, and reframe all the time. You might feel awful, sad, current symptoms that may be
defeated, anxious, or you might ailing you, RTT® is a complete,
Reframe, reframe, reframe! behave in an angry, defensive solution-focused approach.
If you reframe a situation, your manner. But if you change It may be able to help with
mind will make it true, because it that thought to ‘I am enough’, a wide range of issues, from
doesn’t know or care if what you you’re likely to feel positive, physical health problems to
tell it is false, useful, or useless. confident, brave, and reassured. anxiety, phobias, and weight
Think of it this way, if you put You’re more likely to take life- management.
lotion on dry skin, your mind enhancing risks – asking for that With the help of an RTT®
doesn’t ask whether it’s from promotion, asking someone out, therapist, you can learn more
Prada or if you got it free on an or talking to new people. about how the meaning or
aeroplane, it just sinks in and You might think that it’s not interpretation of events may be
nourishes the skin. Words can be true, but if you’re telling yourself causing you pain or discomfort,
the same. you’re not enough, that’s not true helping you to confront emotions
If you feel like you messed either! I cannot recommend that you may be struggling to
something up, rather than saying ‘I am enough’ to yourself cope with, to challenge coping
berating yourself, say that you’ll more. If everybody woke up mechanisms that may not be
do it better next time. Become every day and said these four working for you, and to make
a loving parent and friend to little phrases, the whole world positive changes.
yourself. would change:
Find out more about Rapid
Praise yourself!
I am enough, Transformational Therapy® and
Become your own cheerleader. I’m lovable, search for a RTT® Therapist on
Tell yourself how well you are the Hypnotherapy Directory. For
doing, celebrate what is good,
I’m significant, information on training to become
and remember that you don’t and I matter. at RTT® Therapist, visit RTT.com
Sending love to...
Those starting out on Those struggling Those experiencing

their healing journey to find the right help suicidal thoughts
Those afraid to Those who don’t feel Those feeling lost

reach out seen or heard or unsure
Those who are

Those who feel struggling to see the Those who don’t
alone in what light at the end of know how to help
they’re facing the tunnel a loved one
7 budget-friendly
eco swaps
If money is on your mind, but you still want to do your bit to help the planet,
you might wonder what you can realistically afford to do. The good news
is that there are plenty of green choices that don’t break the bank, and
some that could actually save you money in the long run
Writing | Rebecca Thair
W
hen it comes to BAMBOO TOOTHBRUSHES
sustainable living, Traditional plastic toothbrushes
it’s important aren’t recyclable, which can
to try to use result in as many as 23 billion
whatever you have first. Reuse, toothbrushes going to landfill
repurpose, and repair wherever each year – with each one
possible. But, when you do need taking up to 1,000 years to
to eventually replace something, decompose. As an alternative,
the following eco-friendly bamboo toothbrushes have
swaps are not only better for the seen a starp rise in popularity,
environment, some could also due to the handles being 100%
save you money over time! biodegradable (typically taking
So, what are you waiting for? around six months in compost),
Visit our sustainable swap and created from sustainable
shop… materials. However, this comes
with one strong caveat: check
the bristle material. These are
MEAT-FREE MONDAYS While supermarket prices often made of nylon, which isn’t
Did you know that going veggie vary, plant-based produce is biodegradable and would need
for one day a week could save typically cheaper than meat, with to be removed from the handle
the equivalent of 100kgs of CO2 meatfreemondays.com suggesting before composting.
each year? In fact, according to that vegans can actually save From a cost perspective,
the Exeter City Council website, about $1,280 a year on their food this swap won’t necessarily
if you decided to do a meat-free bills. Research also suggests save money, but prices are
week each month, that could that since plant-based foods are comparable to plastic options
save 153kgs of CO2 per year, and typically lower in saturated fats, (lots of great products start at
going vegan for a week each this move could improve your around £2.50), which means that
month would add up to around heart health, even without full- doing your bit for the planet won’t
230kgs of CO2 saved! time vegetarianism. take a hit on your wallet.
positive pointers
RETURN OF THE WASHING LINE

With estimates suggesting that using
a tumble dryer could cost you £200
a year (a figure that is only likely to
increase), a simple swap could be
the return of the classic washing line
(costing about £19 for retractable
options), or clothes airers, which you
can get for as little as £12. With the
latter option, one hack to help speed
up drying is to place near a radiator,
and cover it with a bedsheet.
COFFEE PODS
In 2021, research by Packaging
Online reported that nearly 350,000
coffee pods are sent to landfill each
year, and are believed to take about
500 years to decompose. For context,
REUSABLE RAGS A simple, eco and cost- if King Henry VIII had used a coffee
From mopping up spills to drying friendly solution? Choose machine during his reign, his pods
your hands, many of us turn to reusable rags instead. These would still be around today.
paper towels without even thinking could be made from old Aluminium pods, which are on
about the waste, or cost, involved. clothes that no longer fit for offer from brands like Nespresso,
But the reality is that to make one a cost-free repurpose. Or you are 100% recyclable, or you could try
ton of paper towels requires 17 could purchase absorbent, the Grind Tin of Compostable Coffee
trees and 20,000 gallons of water. long-lasting cloths, such as the Pods (20 pods for £9.95).
And, with people in the UK paying Jangneus Design Cloths which
anywhere from £1–£3 per 100 are 100% biodegradable (£9.95
sheets of kitchen roll, it adds up. for a pack of four). PERIOD CUPS
A lot of period products are single-
use, equating to about 200,000 tonnes
ECO-FRIENDLY LOO ROLL a sustainable solution: of waste in the UK each year, and,
With one tree used to create bamboo-based loo roll, or according to menstrual cup brand
1,500 rolls of toilet paper, 100% recycled paper, with Intimina, costs on average £10.24 per
and each person in the UK carbon neutral shipping, and month per person, and nearly £5,000
using 127 loo rolls per year 50% of profits going to fund on period products over the average
on average, qssupplies.co.uk sanitation projects around the reproductive lifetime.
reported that the UK needs 5.7 world. Subscriptions to bulk An economical and
million trees each year to keep order start from £28 for 24 environmentally friendly alternative
up with demand. rolls, which may be slightly is a period cup. While the initial
To counter this huge impact more than you’re spending if cost might be higher, ranging from
on the environment, and you already bulk buy, but does £8.50 to about £30, AllMatters.com
do some good deeds while have the added convenience of suggests that each cup can be used
they’re at it, companies like coming straight to your door for a number of years, saving the
Who Gives a Crap are offering so you’re never caught short. equivalent of about 2,400 tampons.
Energising
eats
Get back into a routine this New Year
Writing | Elena Holmes
D
ark days, miserable SAVOURY MUSHROOM
weather, and feelings OATS
of sluggishness.
January gives us Ingredients
so many reasons to crave (Serves 1)
something that could pull us up,
and provide energy, joy, and a • 1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
zest for life. Well, these recipes • 200g cremini mushrooms, cut
are colourful, energising, into wedges
seasonal, and easy to prepare. • 2 cloves of garlic, crushed and
Not only will they supply the chopped
nutrients and energy to get you • 1/4 tsp dried thyme
back into your routine, but also • 1/2 cup steel-cut oats • Add the garlic, thyme, and oats,
pamper your taste buds with • 1.5 cups of water and stir for 30 seconds to toast,
delicious fragrance and yummy • 1 tsp of tamari or making sure nothing burns.
textures. any other soy sauce • Add the water and tamari.
And they’re incredibly • 2 tbsp nutritional yeast Bring to a boil over high heat.
versatile. You can eat the (optional) • Once boiling, reduce the
mushroom oats for breakfast, • 2 green onions, thinly sliced heat and simmer for 12–15
but also lunch or dinner, • Salt and pepper, to taste minutes, until the water has
depending on your preference, been absorbed and the oats are
while the hemp patties make a Method cooked.
satisfying main, or a convenient, • Add 1 tbsp oil to a medium • If using, mix in the nutritional
muscle-building, and recovery- sized pot over medium heat. yeast just before serving.
promoting snack for post- • Add the mushrooms and sauté • Garnish with the sliced green
workout. for 8–10 mins, until browned. onions and black pepper.
food & health
The healthy bit
These recipes are great for

boosting immune health: there
are the beta-glucans in the oats
and mushrooms, selenium from
the mushrooms (and also vitamin
D2 if they’ve been exposed to
sunlight!), B vitamins from the
oats, mushrooms, nutritional
• 3 tbsp sunflower seeds yeast and seeds, and vitamins A, C
• 2 tsp dried thyme and E, plus iron, magnesium, and
• A pinch of chilli flakes zinc from the various vegetables,
• 4 tbsp nutritional yeast oats, seeds, herbs, and spices.
• 2–3 tbsp tamari or soy sauce Both recipes contribute to
• Black pepper, to taste good gut health. Onions, garlic,
mushrooms, oats, and flax seeds
Method are particularly rich in soluble
• Combine the ground flax seeds fibre, which is the type of fibre
and water in a small bowl. Set that feeds beneficial bacteria in
aside to thicken (this is your our gut. The phytonutrients in
flax mix – you’ll need this later). these foods, and alpha-linolenic
• In a large bowl, combine the acid in flax seeds, and hemp
mushrooms, onion, garlic, dill, seeds also promote the beneficial
seeds, thyme, chilli flakes and strains of gut microorganisms.
nutritional yeast. The healthy fats and protein
• Add the thickened flax mix you in hemp will boost your energy,
made earlier and the tamari to helping to keep your blood
the vegetable mixture. sugars stable, and thus, your
• Mix everything until it forms a energy levels lasting longer. Fats
sticky kind of ball. also improve the absorption
• Line an oven tray with baking of fat-soluble vitamins and
paper. phytonutrients.
MUSHROOM AND HEMP • Using your hands, break off Of course, these fats are part
PATTIES equal chunks – rolling into of the reason why these foods
small balls and pressing down taste so good! These versatile
Ingredients to flatten – until you have 10–12 and wholesome dishes support
(Serves 4–6) patties. If the mixture seems our health and energy not only
too dry, add a splash of water. because of their phytonutrients,
• 2 tbsp ground flax seeds If too runny, add some more but because they are delicious.
• 3 tbsp water ground hemp or sunflower If the food makes us happy, it
• 4 cups button or white seeds. cannot but make us healthier!
mushrooms, chopped • Add the patties to the lined
Elena Holmes is a nutritional
• 1 onion, chopped tray (you may need to do this
therapist and nutritionist, helping
• 2 cloves garlic, crushed in batches) and cook for 25–30 clients to improve their health and
• 3 tbsp dill, chopped minutes at 200oC. Be sure to flip quality of life. Find more on her
• 5 tbsp ground hemp seeds the patties after 15 minutes. profile at the Nutritionist Resource.
4 ways to stay informed
without panicking
Having a good idea of the things that are happening in the world is a savvy
thing to do, so how can you manage that without becoming overwhelmed?
Writing | Rachael Davies
B
etween the cost of notifications for news apps might of publications, the Ground News
living crisis, the be convenient, but it means you Chrome extension is an excellent
conflict in Ukraine, could potentially be presented bias checker, showing the
political divides in the with stressful information at political leaning of the site you’re
UK, the US, and across Europe, any given moment. Put yourself reading, and recommending
and a wealth of other pressing back in control of how you digest other coverage on similar topics
issues, simply turning on the information by choosing when for a more rounded perspective.
news can feel like a mammoth and how you stay up to date. In addition, news aggregators
task at the moment. Identify which news sources like Upday, Google News, and
At the same time, many of these aren’t working for you, and Flipboard will all learn from what
issues simply cannot be ignored. take steps to remove them. You you tend to read and show you
If you don’t stay informed on can also try unfollowing news more of the same, as well as the
rising inflation and issues in the sites on social media, or even top stories of the day. This is an
economy, for example, you won’t blocking certain keywords if you excellent way to access a wide
know what costs are coming or find yourself doomscrolling, range of news efficiently.
what forms of support might be or getting increasingly stressed
available. while browsing Instagram or 3. Develop a
As a journalist, I have to stay on Twitter. mindful routine
top of the news cycle, but taking As well as how you consume the
care of my mental health is also 2. Find trusted sources news, when you browse can also
a top priority for me. As a result, Now that you’ve cut out the play a large role in how it affects
I’ve developed some techniques media sources that don’t suit you. Looking at the news first
for staying informed without you, it’s time to identify which thing in the morning, or the last
being overwhelmed by negativity ones do work. It’s always a good thing at night, means your brain
and alarming news. idea to read from a number of is likely tired and not ready to
different sources, rather than one deal with stressful information.
1. Limit access publication, to get a full sense of The best time to get updated is
The first step is to limit your the media landscape. To ensure when your brain works best, no
access to the news. Having push that you’re reading a wide range matter when in the day that is
wellbeing
There’s no right
or wrong way to
stay informed,
only the way that
best suits you
off entirely. By limiting how much
time you expose yourself to it, you
increase your ability to take in
what’s happening in a healthy way.
4. Curate your news

Another way to make the news
work for you is to choose the
right medium. Some people may
prefer reading, while others will
pay better attention to podcasts.
Curate how you access your news
by choosing whatever format best
suits you.
The most important element of
staying up to date is actually taking
the information in and using it to
inform your decisions, and how
you see the world. There’s no right
or wrong way to stay informed,
only the way that best suits you.
for you. Take half an hour while and most important updates on There’s no shame in stepping back
having breakfast or on your an average day. From there, take and limiting access to the news.
commute, or perhaps dedicate on board what you’ve learned, In fact, being mindful of how we
some time while on your lunch and then separate it from the rest consume the news, using tips like
break – whenever you’re relaxed of your day. The reason many those above, means that we can
and ready to learn. people feel overwhelmed by the stay informed in a more controlled
About 30 minutes or so should be news is that there’s just so much and manageable way, without
enough to take in the top stories of it, resulting in people switching becoming overwhelmed.
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the art of wellness
Returning to
education
Whether you have an unexplored passion, or want to upskill in
order to cultivate new career options, learning can be a lifelong
pursuit, and one that opens doors to endless possibilities…
W
hether it’s signing The benefits of my interest – creative writing
up for a short lifelong learning – as an adult. It’s lovely to meet
adult education To find out more about returning like-minded people, as well as
course, or to education, I spoke to life coach the added joy that can come with
enrolling for a degree, many Chantal Dempsey. There are, making new friends.
of us return to education after she says, a myriad of benefits to Our mental health and
taking some time away. It can lifelong learning. wellbeing can benefit, too. “As
be a hugely positive experience “One of the greatest benefits the confidence bucket gets
– a chance to learn new skills, of lifelong education is filled by your successes, and
develop our career, form new empowerment,” says Chantal. your upgrade in skills and
friendships, and immerse “Returning to learning not only knowledge, your subconscious
ourselves in an interest. But offers the tools to change career mind takes in the message that
as exciting as it can be, it also paths, facilitate a promotion, you can achieve and you are
brings anxieties around how to or start a side hustle, it boosts good enough,” says Chantal.
adjust, and whether it’s the right your mindset to unlock ability “Confidence and self-esteem
move for us. and confidence. It validates a are the building blocks of
For me, returning to university ‘can do’ attitude that empowers mental health. Increasing them
after time away was a big you to believe that anything is will achieve wonders for your
change. It took a while to see possible.” It can also widen your wellbeing.”
myself as a student, and get perspectives and understanding Lifelong learning is also good
used to new routines. I’m so of the world, which can be great for our overall health. “Research
glad that I made the move assets. shows a link between learning
though – it’s given me a chance You’re likely to have things in and the reduction of some
to dedicate time to my passion, common with people on your illnesses, such as dementia and
meet like-minded people, and to course. I’ve valued the connections coronary heart disease,” Chantal
grow in new ways. I’ve made with others who share explains. “Neuroplasticity, >>>
We worry about not being
good enough, not smart
enough, too old, and so
on. But these are only
thoughts. They are not real.
which is basically the functional Chantal recommends working
and structural reshaping of the out what your ‘zone of genius’ is.
brain, can happen throughout This, she tells me, is the common
life to adapt to new information, denominator between what you
experiences, and environments. are an expert at, and what you
Sustained adult learning simulates love doing. “Finding this zone will
the creation and development of make it easier to identify your
new neural pathways, boosting purpose, and establish whether
your brain health and power taking a particular path is right for
remarkably.” you,” she says.
To do this, Chantal suggests love learning about. Once you’ve
Finding the right splitting a page into two columns. done your two lists, read through
path for you In the first column, make a list of and ask yourself, ‘Where does it
There are clearly lots of reasons to what you love doing. In the other, match?’ This can help you identify
return to education. But how can list what you are (or can become) the area – or areas – that make
we find the path that works for us? an expert at, and what you would sense for you to explore further.
the art of wellness
There are other ways of Identifying what I wanted to

approaching this. Chantal says get from a university course MEET THE EXPERT
that asking yourself the following helped me decide to apply. I also
questions can help you decide if thought carefully about how it
an educational opportunity is the would impact other areas of my
one for you: life, from finances to socialising,
• Does it feel right? to figure out if it would really
• Do you feel excited about it? work for me.
• Is it fuelled by desire?
Feeling confident Chantal Dempsey is an award-
She also suggests using Returning to education can be winning master life coach
visualisation: “Think of the end exciting, but it’s normal to feel and hypnotherapist. Visit the
Life Coach Directory for more
result, and visualise everything nervous, especially if it’s a while
information and inspiration.
about it – your day-to-day, what it since you’ve studied.
will mean for you, how you will There are things we can do to
feel, how you will look, what you help with these worries. Chantal It’s worth looking at what support
will talk about, where you will recommends making a list of is available, too. Many universities
work, what you will do, who you all your life achievements, big will have groups for ‘mature
might work with, how you will feel or small, to build a picture that students’ (usually defined as anyone
when you get up every morning evidences your capabilities. over the age of 21) where you can
and at the end of each day. Do this “Worries and anxiety are connect with other learners for
every day for a couple of weeks, purely caused by thoughts,” says support and socialising. If you
and check your gut feeling.” Chantal. “We worry about not have childcare commitments,
It can help to think of it being good enough, not smart research whether the place you’re
pragmatically. Will this course enough, too old, and so on. studying has a nursery, or if there
give you the qualification you We play scenarios of what bad is flexibility to fit your studies
need to pursue your new career? might happen. But these are only around being with your children.
Or the opportunity to explore thoughts. They are not real. They Universities and colleges have
an interest you’ve been curious have not happened. Our inner mental health support available
about? Take time to research your talk is what causes the issue. So, to their students, so if you’re
options to make sure it’s the right change your inner talk and focus struggling with the adjustment,
fit for what you want. on the present, because right there are people who can help, too.
There are practical now, you are OK.” Returning to education can be
considerations, too. Returning to She also recommends a wonderful experience. I can
education can bring costs, so it’s visualising a successful future, personally say that my possibilities
good to look into your eligibility and using affirmations such as have widened, and I get so much
for things like student loans, or ‘I can do this,’ ‘I am smart,’ and ‘I joy from doing something that
other funding. But is it a long- am capable.’ Keeping your goal in challenges me, opens me to new
term investment that will pay off mind – the reason you returned ideas, and gives a sense of purpose.
further down the line if you can to education – can also help keep Could a return to learning be
afford it? you motivated. calling you too?
Creativity is seeing what
others see and thinking what
no one else ever thought
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Photograph | Nicolas Ladino Silva

wellbeing
Why do we engage
in self-destructive
behaviours?
They’re patterns of behaviour that can be easy to fall into,
but why do we respond in this way, and what can we do to
break free from these damaging actions?
W
hen things aren’t going often feels as though it provides there are some common causes,
right in our lives, or temporary relief, but ultimately, if including traumatic experiences,
we’re struggling with it continues, it can have long-term loss and grief, self-destructive
the way that we’re feeling, there detrimental effects.” behaviours in immediate family,
are many different avenues Self-destructive behaviour and negative core beliefs.
that we may go down – some exists on a scale, and Danielle “Self-destructive behaviour can
conscious, some unconscious, lists some common examples, be a result of experiencing an
and, occasionally, some that do including excessive drinking, isolated or repeated distressing
more harm than good. impulsive behaviour, unsafe event leading to trauma. This level
You’ve probably heard about sexual practices, substance abuse, of stress can be detrimental to
‘self-destructive behaviour’ gambling, and self-harm. our emotional functioning, and
before, but what does the term act as a catalyst for unhealthy
actually cover? Why do we engage in self- habits formed in an attempt to
“Self-destructive behaviour is destructive behaviour? cope,” Danielle continues. “Self-
behaviour that can have damaging If this is a question that you have destructive behaviour often feels
consequences to us, and cause been asking yourself, you’ll likely as though it relieves us from
emotional and/or physical harm,” get the best answers from having the emotional pain attached
counsellor Danielle Bottone a conversation with a counsellor, to trauma. Chemicals released
explains. “This type of behaviour however, as Danielle explains, during this time feel good, but >>>
rarely last, hence the behaviours
become cyclical and difficult to
shift.”
Danielle also explains how
these behaviours can stem from
core beliefs that we hold about
ourselves. She uses the example
of experiencing bullying as a
child. That bullying might have
led us to internalise feelings
of rejection, developing a core
belief of ‘I am not good enough.’
“If negative core beliefs are left
unchallenged, we tend to lean
towards choices in our everyday
lives that support that belief, in
turn perpetuating the cycle and
the need to cope,” Danielle says.
wellbeing
MEET THE EXPERT
Chemicals
released during Danielle Bottone is an integrative
counsellor and life coach,
this time feel good, specialising in trauma

and intercultural therapy.
Find out more on the
but rarely last Counselling Directory.
“Self-destructive behaviours and multi-layered one. And “Exploring the answers to some
may feel like they soothe the so, unfortunately, the solution of these questions will allow you
emotional pain attached to these won’t be simple either. However, to increase the understanding
core beliefs, but often, they assist there are still steps that you you have of how the cycle works,
in masking the pain and avoiding can take to begin addressing and what it might be serving,”
the root cause. self-destructive behaviour if you she says. “It also highlights where
“Lastly, if we were raised in notice that you have a tendency opportunities to intervene and
an environment where self- to experience it… disrupt the cycle are present.
destructive behaviour was The aim is to make the cycle of
commonplace, and healthy Increase your understanding behaviour feel less chaotic and
conflict resolution was absent, Noticing that you might have a more predictable. When we can
we will inevitably find healthy problem with self-destructive predict things, it allows us to plan
ways of resolving pain difficult. behaviour is an excellent ahead and influence change.”
This does not mean that self- first step, and a big part of Once again, this is something
destruction feels good, easy, or working towards a form of that a professional would be able
pain-free, it is likely quite the solution. From here, Danielle to support you with, and Danielle
opposite. What it does mean, is recommends asking yourself highlights how a counsellor would
self-destruction feels familiar. We the following questions to better be able to help you explore any
become experts at knowing how understand your self-destructive emotions that come up, in a safe
to soothe, avoid, and hide behind pattern: environment. They may also be
destruction. Changing this • What does the cycle look and able to identify certain trends that
pattern requires us to challenge feel like? might not be immediately obvious
that narrative by unpacking the • Are there specific triggers that to you, and which you might
behaviour, and discovering what sit before the self-destructing otherwise have missed.
need it serves.” behaviours?
• What causes it to occur more Choose a new alternative
How to let go of self- or less frequently? “Changing isn’t easy, but the more
destructive behaviour • Are there events that you are we try something new, the easier
By now, it’s clear that this aware of that have contributed it gets,” Danielle explains. “With
problem is often a complicated to this cycle in some way? the information gained >>>
from each other, and take steps
to support their mental health.
You can find out more by visiting
mind.org.uk
Be self-compassionate
Sometimes, when we’re in the
process of making a change, we
can neglect to acknowledge what
an achievement that is, and to cut
ourselves some slack when things
about the cycle and potential Welcome support don’t go perfectly on the first try.
origin, allow yourself to focus Speaking of supportive friends, “You are doing something that
on the new choices you want to Danielle has a reminder that takes courage and determination,”
make that directly challenge your you don’t have to do it alone. Danielle says. “Acknowledging
self-destructive behaviour. Keep “Acknowledge your support your strengths, challenging
choosing the alternative option(s), system, and include the people your inner critic, being kind,
and practise making choices you trust in your healing where and resisting the temptation to
that align with your desired appropriate,” she says. “This is not shame or judge, are all crucial to
destination.” exclusive to friends or family, this showing up for yourself during
What those alternatives might could be a local support group this process.”
look like will be entirely unique with others who have experience
to you and your situation, but, of self-destructive behaviours So, if this is a journey that you’re
for example, someone who finds and are embarking on a similar about to embark on yourself,
social situations overwhelming journey to you.” make sure to give yourself the
and anxiety-inducing, and who Online forums are also a great space to really understand the
might then excessively drink way to connect with people with depth of what you’re about to do.
alcohol, may instead try to notice similar experiences. One example Know that it’s all right to not get
when they have been triggered, is Side by Side, which is an online things right all the time, to try
and see if they can move to a quiet community forum hosted by again another day, and to lean on
space to take some deep breaths, mental health charity Mind. others when you need to. After
repeat affirmations, or reach out The space is designed to help all, you can’t break the cycle if you
to a supportive friend. people make connections, learn don’t take that first swing.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
5 pieces of life advice

you need to hear
Want to know the most life-changing words of
wisdom? Well you’re in luck. We reached out to our
audience to find out the best life advice they’ve ever
had, and these were their answers. Sit back, take it
in, and prepare to see the world a little differently…
Writing | Kat Nicholls
Thoughts aren’t facts Remind yourself of this on Pace yourself

A simple yet powerful piece darker days, taking a moment Pacing is a technique
of advice we could all do with to think about what steps could recommended for those with
taking on board. When thoughts push you closer to the light. And long-term conditions like chronic
pass through our minds, we often on the good days, this sentiment fatigue syndrome, encouraging
take them at face value, believing can remind you to appreciate them to balance activity with rest,
them to be true. In reality, them even more. and to monitor energy levels. This
however, these thoughts aren’t is excellent advice, and not only
factual. They are stories we’re You can’t eat an elephant for those with chronic illness.
telling ourselves. all at once, eat it one bite By pacing ourselves, only taking
Some of our stories are fuelled at a time on what we have capacity for and
by fear, sending us into self-doubt This is one for overwhelmed recognising the importance of
spirals. When this happens, pause souls. Experiencing overwhelm rest, we can all take better care
and remind yourself that thoughts can feel like being asked to eat of our wellbeing. Life isn’t a race,
aren’t facts. When we can distance an elephant – daunting, and too after all.
ourselves from our overly critical big a task to undertake. But the
or negative thoughts, we can see a only way to eat an elephant is Find the good in every day
more positive perspective. one bite at a time, and the only Every day may not be good, but
way to tackle big projects is one there is good in every day – a
This too shall pass step at a time. simple saying that can help us
When times are tough and we Break things down into small look out for the positives. An easy
can’t see an end in sight, we might chunks, see if there’s anything way to incorporate this advice is
think we’ll feel this way forever. you can delegate, and practice to start a gratitude journal, noting
The truth is, the only constant in some radical prioritisation. the positives in your day. Perhaps
life is change (and this is a good Then, simply… start. a loved one checked in with you,
thing). It means the way you feel, (Note: no elephants were or you got to do something you
the situation you’re in, will one harmed in the making of this enjoy. Whatever it is, really notice
day change. This too shall pass. article.) it, no matter how big or small.
Happiful recommends
From a book about nocturnal exploration, to a podcast that will help you find your
mindful moment, try something new with our enriching suggestions
3
ACT OF KINDNESS
Volunteer for Be My Eyes
1
Living life as someone with vision loss can be difficult,
but volunteers at Be My Eyes are here to help make the world more
accessible. Sign up to lend your sight to blind and low-vision users to
help individuals solve tasks and tackle problems via a live video call – it
will certainly make a big difference to someone’s life.
(Visit bemyeyes.com to find out more information)
PAGE-TURNERS
LEND US YOUR EARS
4
Wild Nights Out: The Magic of
Exploring the Outdoors After Dark ‘Meditation Minis’
by Chris Salisbury Do you find it difficult to make time for mindfulness in
Instead of settling indoors during your busy schedule? With these short five to 20-minute
the shorter and darker winter days, guided sessions, you can always make time for a daily
take it as an opportunity to go on a dose. Led by hypnotherapist Chel Hamilton, each
nocturnal adventure, and explore episode is designed to calm
the wonders of nature after dark. your anxiety and find inner
From learning how to call for owls, peace. (Available on all
to fireside storytelling, outdoor podcast platforms)
educator Chris Salisbury’s fun-
5
filled guide is packed with games
and sensory activities that can be PLUGGED-IN
enjoyed at any age.
(Out now, £14.99) Yulia Sherbak
Whether you’re
2
OUT AND ABOUT an embroiderer
seeking creative
Enjoy a winter picnic inspiration, or someone who can
If you think picnics simply appreciate the fine art
can only be enjoyed of “painting with thread”, follow
during the summer, think again! Winter picnics are becoming self-taught embroidery artist Yulia
increasingly popular, and it’s easy to see why. It’s a perfect, low-cost Sherbak. The beautifully intricate
activity to share memorable moments with loved ones in the brisk needlework featuring nature and
beauty of winter. So, pack your bag with warm comfort drinks and wildlife, certainly speaks for itself.
lunches, and be at one with the outdoors. (Follow @mossandfeather)
culture
7
TECH TIP-OFFS
Action for Kindness

When we are feeling down, sometimes all it takes is a
friendly nudge in the right direction to help you to feel
more yourself. Action for Kindness sends you daily actions
that promote kindness and self-care, to help support your happiness
each day, all while contributing to the charity’s mission of creating a
6
LESSON LEARNED happier and kinder world. (Available on the app store)
8
Relieve headaches
with yoga GET GOING
If you feel a headache coming on,
it might be time to roll out your ZUU fitness
yoga mat for additional relief. It’s time to bring out your wild side
Doing gentle yoga poses, like the with ZUU fitness. The at-home
bridge pose, downward facing HIIT workout encourages you to
dog, and legs up the wall, can embrace your animalistic side
help to relieve you of symptoms by with exercises that mimic animal
boosting circulation and releasing movements, such as squatting like
any built-up tension. (Visit youtube. a gorilla and scrambling on all-
com to access yoga tutorials) fours like a bear. Are you up to the
9
challenge? (Search YouTube for a
SQUARE EYES range of tutorials)
Down to Earth with Zac Efron WIN A WINTER OF

Follow actor Zac Efron and wellness expert Darin Olien on WELLNESS BUNDLE
an adventure as they document their travels around the
world seeking sustainable ways to live. From exploring the water system For your chance to win,
in Paris, to learning about renewable energy in Iceland, this informative simply email your answer
yet entertaining docuseries is on a mission to educate and inspire global to the following question to
change. (Available to watch on Netflix) competitions@happiful.com
10
TREAT YOURSELF Which scent is commonly used
to help aid sleep?
Winter of Wellness bundle
Add a sprinkle of indulgence to your self-care routine during the winter a) Lavender
period with Owen Drew’s winter of wellness bundle, featuring awaken b) Spiced apple
wax melts, calm candle, and dream room mist. The Happiful team would c) Vanilla
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*Competition closes 31 January 2023.
of founder, Drew Cockton. His work raising mental health awareness UK mainland and Northern Ireland only.
touched so many lives. (From £65 at owendrewcandles.com) Good luck! T&Cs apply.
Lead by example
In this expert column, we’re exploring self-care
in leadership – AKA, how to take care of yourself
when you’re used to putting everyone and
everything else first
L
ook at some of Many of the people I work CLAUDINE THORNHILL
the top leadership with, as a nutritional therapist
NT (Dip CNM) mANP
traits and you’ll and wellness coach, are leaders
see an impressive in their careers, and leaders in
list of qualities; dependable, their businesses. Irrespective of Claudine is a naturopathic
decisive, innovative, risk-taking, the initial health issue that needs nutritionist and health coach.
solutions-focused, confident, attention, a common area that Find out more by visiting
and empathetic, to name a few. comes up in the course of our the Nutritionist Resource.
Leaders are the people we depend working together, in addition
on in both our professional and to nutrition, is self-care, stress
personal lives, and it’s due to these management, and sleep. that being a leader at work, or the
qualities that many of us look to According to Global leader of a new business, comes
leaders for a sense of security, Entrepreneurship Monitor, a with putting other things before
direction, and stability. record 12.6% of UK adults were in yourself, often to the detriment of
Some of the most revered leaders the first three months of running a long-term health and wellbeing.
have a sense of duty, often to business or were already running a So how can leaders, particularly
the point of selflessness – think new business in 2021 – the highest those with a side hustle or new
Nelson Mandela, Mahatma figure since the study was first business, support their health and
Gandhi, and Martin Luther King conducted in 1999. With the rise wellbeing?
Jr. These great leaders may be of the side hustle, and the number
exceptional examples, but I’m of people starting businesses at an Plan to eat well
sure we can think of people in unprecedented high, it naturally When the days are long and the
our day-to-day lives who exude follows that stress and fatigue calendar is longer, it’s unlikely
such admirable qualities as well. may feature, and that self-care that cooking up a nutritious meal
However, what happens on the falls to the back of the to-do list. is at the top of your priority list at
other side of that coin, when Look online and you’ll see content the end of a busy day. Temptation
empathy, a sense of duty, and on both productivity and toxic and availability make it easy to
responsibility for others’ welfare productivity, but less on self-care grab and go, or to order in, while
comes at the expense of a leader’s as a leader. Whatever side of the some people may skip meals
own wellbeing? fence you sit on, it’s true to say altogether. Being tired, and hungry
EXPERT COLUMN
two hours of bedtime, or creating

more of a sanctuary in your
bedroom.
Make time for you

Starting the day doing something
solely for yourself can provide the
grounding and nurturing that can
help you withstand the challenges
of leadership. Most of us accept
that physical activity is a great
mood booster and energiser, that
deep breathing helps calm the
in addition, means that we’re less a go-to list of restaurants that you mind and body, and improves
likely to make the best choices. can rely on to provide balanced focus, and that Epsom salt baths
Save yourself the brain power and meals when you’re in a rut. support relaxation (if you don’t
plan what you’ll eat in advance. I have a bath a foot soak will do).
advise my clients to take a realistic Sleep well How about taking three deep
look at their diaries. If it’s showing Both my clients and I swear by breaths the next time a web page
a distinct lack of time for cooking, sleep masks, sleep sounds, and is taking time to load, listening to
it may be worth meal planning in bedtime stories to get a good piano music while getting dressed
advance, including deciding what night’s sleep, particularly if it’s in the morning, or replacing
you’ll eat, where you’ll get your been a long day and you have an checking emails on the commute
dish from, and being confident early start. If you wake up feeling with creating a gratitude list, or –
that it’ll provide a balanced meal groggy, it’s likely that something my personal favourite – a ‘proud
option. This might mean meal in your evening routine may need of myself’ list? These mini-retreats
prepping ahead of time, using a adjusting. It may be avoiding can happen at any moment, it’s all
meal delivery service, or having caffeine after 4pm, meals within about seeing the opportunity.
TOP TIPS
• Do a little research before your
A mindful moment:
trip, to ensure you have any
necessary permissions before
fossil hunting
visiting a location.
• Look up the tide schedule ahead
of fossil hunting.
Pursue a piece of history as you focus on the • Always stay safe and be aware of
your surroundings (water, cliffs,
present and explore the outdoors with this loose rocks).
thought-provoking pastime • Respect your surroundings and
ensure you cause as minimal
Writing | Rebecca Thair
impact to the environment as
A
possible. You don’t have to take
fantastically fun activity Ready to try fossil hunting for everything you find!
to indulge your curiosity yourself? • Find something really special? You
and unleash your inner might want to report it for official
Indiana Jones, embrace the Things to look for: records to a local museum or an
outdoors next time you’re at online fossil hunting site.
the coast, and spend some time • Focus on the details. See if • You’re a beginner? Search online
scavenging for timeless treasures. patterns, marks, or regular lines for organised groups and meet up.
A snapshot of life, typically in rocks catch your eye.
thousands of years old, fossils are • Wet stones often highlight the Shark teeth
often found in sedimentary rocks marks of fossils better, so they’re It’s reported that these are often
such as sandstone, limestone, easier to spot. So it can be found on the Essex coast, and some
and shale – or sometimes even helpful to watch for clusters of can be as large as your hand!
slate. They are formed when rocks by the water’s edge.
sediment falls over the remains of • You might not always find a Sea urchins
organisms, as the layers build and ‘complete’ fossil – some might These could be up to 450 million
compact over years, it forms solid be partial, or the edge of one, so years old, and can range in size from
rock that preserves them. ensure you’re not overlooking similar to a Brussels sprout, right up
You can hunt for fossils at any these fascinating finds as well. to a grapefruit. They are some of the
time of year, but you’re most likely more common fossils, but can be
to be successful over the winter Some of the more common fossil hard to spot.
and spring months, due to more types to spot are:
bracing weather eroding the rock Gryphaea (Devil’s Toenails)
formations around the coastline. Ammonites Originating from oysters, these
And while you’re out breathing Probably what you instantly fossils have a claw-like appearance,
the fresh air, completely focusing picture when you think of a and are often found off the coast of
on the task at hand, you can just ‘fossil’, ammonites are historic sea Yorkshire.
‘be’ in the present, and allow the predators that resemble coiled
stresses and pressures of normal snail shells. They were similar to For plenty of handy tips, and even a
life to leave you in peace for a squid creatures, and can often be map of locations to explore, head to
short while. found in Dorset. ukfossils.co.uk
relationships
Coming out
in later life
Accepting and sharing your authentic self is a huge milestone, and one that
there should be no set timeline for – it’s all about your needs, and when you feel
ready. Here, psychotherapist Bhavna Raithatha explores the journey of ‘coming
out’ as part of the LGBTQIA+ community, at any stage of life
Writing | Bhavna Raithatha
C
oming out refers to the and wider society, but, in much supportive of the LGBTQIA+
acknowledgement and of the world, was illegal and community.
sharing of a person’s punishable by law. Being LGBTQIA+ doesn’t just
sexual or gender For this community, happen suddenly; most of us
affirmative identity to family, coming out could have meant know or have an inkling that we
close friends, and, in time, the harassment from the law, and are different from a very young
wider world. This journey is imprisonment, even with very age, but due to our situations,
undertaken by thousands of little evidence, as in the case including for some a strict
people around the world every of Lord Montagu of Beaulieu, religious upbringing, living
year, but it is not an easy one. who in the 1950s was publicly authentically is not always safe or
This is especially true for older humiliated through the law possible.
individuals, who may be in courts because of his association We are used to hearing of people
their 40s, all the way up to those with military personnel who coming out in their teens and
in their 90s and above, who were gay. In some countries, 20s, however, as society becomes
grew up in times when coming it could even mean a death a little more accepting, there
out as lesbian, gay, bisexual, sentence. This is still the case in is a higher incidence of people
transgender, or identifying as many places around the world coming out in later years. Recent
queer (LGBTQIA+) was not only today, and alarmingly, laws are numbers from the Office of
frowned upon by their families being repealed that once were National Statistics indicate that >>>
3.1% of the UK population aged
over 16+ identified as LGB in
2020. Unfortunately, results for
those identifying as trans aren’t
available. It can be a difficult
and bewildering
This could be helped, in part,
by better representation in the
experience, but it
public eye, as some well-known
people who came out in later life
can also be one of

include Wanda Sykes, Anderson
Cooper, Sir Ian McKellen, and
Cynthia Nixon. Seeing others pave
the way can be hugely helpful to experiencing freedom
individuals on their own path, too.
But every person has a unique and a feeling of being
story, and timing for when it is
right to share your true feelings able to breathe at last
can vary. Reasons for not
coming out earlier can include
expectations and pressure in In some cases this can have colleagues, or, as in a recent
varying degrees from family and catastrophic outcomes, leading to case, someone being ‘outed’ by
society to follow accepted norms, self-harm, murder, and suicide. an Australian newspaper. This is
or to not bring perceived shame or In a deeply moving and equally further exacerbated in cultures
dishonour to the family. For many, heartbreaking recent interview where homosexuality is deemed
the threat to their careers and with This Morning, Dame Kelly a ‘sin’ and punishable by strict
income was the primary factor in Holmes revealed the huge impact religious laws.
the past. In fact, people were not and struggles she experienced, Many people may think: ‘Why
allowed to serve in the Army and feeling like she had to hide who can’t you tell them where to go
be LGBTQIA+ – this rule was only she was and living with the and just live your life?’ But it isn’t
repealed in the year 2000. constant fear of being found out that easy when you have been
Many in the LGBTQIA+ and losing her career affecting brought up with strict rules and
community have felt pressured her mental health and wellbeing. laws to follow, and the most
into heteronormative lives – This is a story repeated all over violent forms of punishment. For
getting married, and having a the world. Many of my LGBTQIA+ some, coming out can come with
‘traditional’ family – but deep clients have reported PTSD a fear of death through ‘honour
down were struggling with an symptoms, including high anxiety, killings’, for example. Again, it is
internal battle between their true hypervigilance (watching their about understanding the journeys
feelings and desires, and keeping backs all the time), depression, people have travelled in the
up the facade of a ‘normal’ substance abuse, and thoughts of course of their lives. The greatest
heterosexual family. suicide. gift we can give is compassion,
Unfortunately, the pressures on People today are still dealing understanding and support.
such individuals, especially on with issues ranging from losing Choosing to come out is a very
individuals identifying as trans their jobs to being treated personal choice, regardless of
who feel that they have been born differently, being bullied, or age. For those who are older,
in the wrong body, is huge, with physically and sexually assaulted, it may feel more difficult
a significant negative impact on losing access to their children, because of family and partner
an individual’s mental health. or being blackmailed by family, pressures. There may be
MEET THE EXPERT
children involved, who may or There is no right or wrong Bhavna Raithatha is a

may not be supportive. There is way to take the next step, to psychotherapist, supervisor, coach,
and speaker. Find out more by
the consideration of the wider live your authentic self. What visiting the Counselling Directory.
community and social network, is important is having the right
and, of course, one’s health and support from friends and family,
wellbeing. The LGBTQIA+ world if at all possible, and seeking everyone in one go. It is a personal
is unique in its own right, with professional, unbiased help decision, but always, do what is
language and nuances that one through therapy, for example. safe for you.
has to get accustomed to. It can There is nothing wrong with There are many places you can
be a difficult and bewildering you because you are attracted to turn to get further information
experience, but it can also be one your own gender, all genders, or and support, which includes, but
of experiencing freedom and a non-gendered individuals. Come is not limited to:
feeling of being able to breathe at out in your own time, and in your • stonewall.org.uk
last. It is important to take things own way. Some of my clients have • openingdoors.lgbt
slowly, remember, this is a whole chosen to come out to themselves • switchboard.org.uk
new world, with its own dark sides first, and then tell people of • lgbthealth.org.uk
and difficulties. their choice. Others come out to • beaumontsociety.org.uk
menstrual
M A N A G I N G YO U R
wellbeing I N T H E W O R K P L A C E
Dealing with a period at work can be a struggle, but these

tips could help make it a smoother experience
Writing | Katherine Irene
M
enstruation Whatever your menstrual health Some of my personal favourites
has long been experience, and wherever you include Maisie Hill, who has a
a taboo topic, are in your menstrual lifespan, great podcast and two incredible
especially in there are a lot of ways you can books. Unfabled is a wellness shop
the workplace – anyone who support yourself to manage based around menstrual wellbeing
has had their period at work your menstrual wellbeing in the – everything you’ve always wanted
will likely be familiar with the workplace. to try in one place. The Lowdown
period product up-the-sleeve is a fantastic resource for all
trick! We have got a long way UNDERSTAND THE things contraception and cycle
to go to break down the stigma MENSTRUAL CYCLE information. And, finally, Lara
around menstrual health in the This piece of advice comes with Briden’s Period Repair Manual
workplace, but we are seeing no blame or shame, as so many has become my cycle bible, and I
great steps in the right direction. of us have been massively let recommend it to everyone who has
Free workplace period products down by our menstrual health a cycle.
for employees, the introduction education. But that can change.
of menstrual leave in some There are so many incredible KNOW YOUR OWN CYCLE
countries, and menopause resources, activists, and coaches Menstrual cycle awareness is
policies, are all really exciting out there to support your journey more than fertility, it’s an act of
prospects. to menstrual wellbeing. self-care. If you don’t track your
food & health
Please note that if you are taking hormonal

contraception, or are facing any menstrual health
challenges, your experience may differ from some of
the experiences discussed, and that’s perfectly fine. This
advice is still open to you to make use of, as you see fit.
you in this? Who are your trusted

people? Reach out to them first.
CONTROL WHAT YOU CAN

Sadly, the way we work doesn’t
necessarily support our cycles,
we aren’t all able to choose where
and how we work. But another
step to managing our menstrual
wellbeing at work is controlling
what we can control.
Options to help you here could
be having a different-sized work
uniform to keep you comfortable
as your body changes throughout
your cycle. Blocking out specific
days in your diary to ensure no
meetings or presentations get
booked in, as you know they
won’t be your most confident
cycle already, start today. It can or productive days. Working
be overwhelming to begin with, 1%, from home on the days you feel
but starting small, and noting and more sensitive, where possible.
your cycle day and a few words it will Controlling your ‘controllables’
about how you’re feeling, is quickly will have a huge impact.
enough. As the process goes on, grow.
you will notice patterns within Understanding Now you’re ready to go and build
your cycle. You’ll get to know your needs around your your toolkit, however that looks
what’s normal for you, and menstrual wellbeing is really key, for you, it could be your own ‘just-
how you respond to each of the especially if you are dealing with in-case’ box. It could be a new
different cycle stages. menstrual health challenges. hybrid working structure, it could
This can be a helpful process be whatever you need it to be!
KNOW WHAT YOU NEED to go through in all areas of life, But some time spent considering
Within menstrual wellbeing but focusing specifically on the your menstrual health needs will
coaching, we talk about the 1% workplace, how can you get not be time wasted.
rule: how can you get 1% of what that 1%? It could be as simple as
you need to thrive? You might be having a spare set of clothes and Katherine Irene is a menstrual
thinking that 1% is a really small a drawer full of period products. wellbeing coach, behaviour change
amount, but keep adding to your Who around you can support specialist, and menstruality mentor.
If you’re concerned
about any symptoms, or
5 vitamin deficiencies your health in general,

it’s always important to
speak to your doctor or a
to watch for this winter professional to ensure you

receive the right support.
As the weather changes, so too can our

nutritional needs. Make sure you’re fuelling
your body effectively this season
As the days get shorter and the temperature drops

over winter, your immune system might need a bit of
extra support. So, if you’re feeling run down, under
the weather, or sluggish, the following five vitamin
deficiencies might be affecting you. But the good news is
there are several ways you can give yourself a nutritional
boost to support your health this season!
1. VITAMIN D
This is probably the least surprising vitamin to be lacking
in winter, given a key ingredient to create it is sunlight. 4. VITAMIN C
Whether it’s the result of darker days, or generally Another essential element you might be missing, vitamin
sheltering indoors more, you might find a deficiency in C not only supports a healthy immune system, but can
this causes sleep issues and fatigue, and could contribute aid skin health, particularly for those suffering from
to mood disorders such as seasonal affective disorder eczema. Increase your intake through foods such as
(SAD). Public Health England actually recommends UK oranges, berries, broccoli, and Brussels sprouts.
adults take 10mcg of vitamin D per day over winter to
help supplement natural levels. 5. POTASSIUM
In summer, we might naturally be drawn to fresh fruits
2. IRON and veg, which offer a plentiful supply of potassium. But
Brittle nails, cold hands and feet, and consistent fatigue as the seasons change, we can be more likely to reach for
are all signs that you may be struggling with a lack of processed foods, resulting in a drop-off in our potassium
iron. This is a vital element which helps your muscles levels – potentially leaving us with lower energy, mood
receive enough oxygen, supporting you to stay warm changes, and higher blood pressure. Little potatoes can
and regulating your temperature. Try to eat enough leafy be a good source of potassium, or snack on a banana.
greens, along with lentils, or red meat.
Are you a qualified nutritional therapist looking to
3. VITAMIN E grow your client base? Nutritionist Resource offers an
If you find you’re struggling with particularly dry skin, or instant web presence on Google, and, on average,
circulation issues, it could be a sign you’re lacking vitamin attracts more than 65,000 visitors per month. Create
E. This vitamin has antioxidant properties, and supports your own unique profile page, and start receiving
skin health by keeping you moisturised, and can actually client enquiries today. Sign up using the code
be found in certain foods, such as broccoli, spinach, and HAPPIFUL to start your free 2-month trial!
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*Terms and conditions apply, voucher code HAPPIFUL cannot be used in conjunction with any other offer. Visit nutritionist-resource.org.uk
wellbeing
It’s good to talk:

understanding communication
delays in children
With good communication important to so many aspects of a life,

parenting a child who finds this tricky can be a real challenge. Mum
of one Jenna Farmer, whose son has a speech delay, discusses the
rise in children who have speech and communication issues, and how
families can best support them to help them thrive
Writing | Jenna Farmer Artwork | Charlotte Reynell
W
hether it’s the who is speech delayed, I chat things to look out for which may
first time you to the experts about the rise in help you figure out if your child
hear ‘mama’, or children who need some help might need support.
perhaps a shrill communicating. Speech therapist Joanne Jones
‘NO!’, the memories made when explains: “In general, we advise
your child begins to talk can be What is speech and reaching out to access support if
really exciting. But, for some communication delay? you have an 18-month-old who
parents, these milestones can take Speech and communication delay isn’t babbling, or isn’t trying to
much longer to happen. If you’re is a broad term that covers a range get their message across; a two-
concerned about your child’s of different causes for why your year-old who isn’t putting words
speech and communication child’s speech and communication together; or a three-year-old who
development, then you might skills may be late to emerge. isn’t yet able to have a two-way
have already spent some time on The term ‘delay’ can sound scary, conversation or tell you about
Google. But what does it actually but it’s really just a way for you to their day.” If any of these scenarios
mean, and how can you get the understand if your child needs a sound familiar to you, having a
right support for your child? helping hand. What’s ‘normal’ can chat with your health visitor could
As a mum to a three-year-old really vary, but there are a few key be a good idea. >>>
Why might a child
experience speech and
communication delays?
This current generation of
school and nursery starters have
experienced part of their lives
in lockdown, and recent Ofsted
reports have found the Covid
pandemic could definitely impact
key communication skills, with
half of four-year-olds not ready
for school. In fact, a survey from
Kindred2 revealed that 91% of
teachers say at least one child in
their class does not have basic
language skills.
It’s reassuring to hear I’m not the
only one experiencing this as a
parent. But why has it had such an
impact?
“There’s definitely more
children having difficulties right
now – schools and nurseries
that I attend have said they
would previously have one or
Not all
communication is
words, so make sure
you listen carefully to
what your child
is showing you
wellbeing
two children in their class with frustrated and upset at times. 2. Don’t ask your child to say or
significant communication delays, “Lots of parents I speak with get repeat things. It’s tempting, but
and now it’s more like five or six. triggered when their children it’s more effective to input the
This definitely is partly due to struggle with listening skills and words they would like to say.
lockdown, but from talking to following instructions (these are all
parents, they were finding it very key for communication). Having 3. Try to build more play
difficult to access early support some tools parents can use, such opportunities into your day.
during this time too,” says Joanne as positive self-talk, or even just The three ‘Ms’ are mess,
Jones, who runs The Can-Do going to get a glass of water to take movement, and manipulation.
Bootcamp, a support group for a pause, are important,” adds Sue. Get them moving around,
parents who are often waiting to Special educational needs and making a mess, and touching
access NHS therapy. disabilities (SEND) expert Georgina and feeling lots of different
That’s not to say this is the only Durrant says these feelings are objects!
cause of speech delay. Some normal and very common: “Parents
children simply take a little I support share concerns about 4. Balance play time and screen
longer to talk, and quickly catch both day-to-day life now, as well as time. Don’t feel guilty about
up. While for others, speech worries over their child’s future.” screen time, but getting a good
delay is part of other conditions. However, finding a community of mix between types of play and
These include autism, hearing those going through the same thing screen time can help.
difficulties, and verbal dyspraxia (a can be vital.
condition where children struggle “It’s so important to find other 5. Not all communication is
to coordinate the right mouth families who share the same words, so make sure you listen
movements to speak clearly). concerns, and speaking to others, carefully to what your child
especially those who have speech, is showing you. It might be a
How can speech and language, and communication gesture, a facial expression,
communication delay delays, is really helpful,” Georgina using symbols, or Makaton
impact parents? adds. There are several online signing. It’s all valid.
It’s important to acknowledge that communities and Facebook groups
living with a child who struggles to that are centred around speech Speech and communication
communicate can impact everyone delay, or your health visitor may be delay can be a challenging thing
in the family. able to refer you to group classes. for both you and your child to
“Children who can’t communicate which can be a good way to meet navigate. It’s important to know
have a feeling as to what they other parents in the same boat. that there is support out there if
need, and are more likely to be you’re experiencing this. Speak
withdrawn or disruptive because Top tips for supporting to your GP or health visitor.
they’re unable to communicate,” your child’s speech and You can also visit ICAN for
says parenting expert Sue Welby, of communication more information and support,
Little Life Steps. Speech therapist Joanne Jones or The Association of Speech
Parents can understandably find shares her top five tips to and Language Therapists in
this really hard to deal with. I, help your child’s speech and Independent Practice to find a
myself, struggled with comparison communication… qualified speech therapist.
and guilt at the start of our speech
delay journey, and would often ask 1. If you’re concerned, I advise Jenna Farmer is a freelance
myself, ‘Am I a bad mum? Is there getting a referral sooner rather journalist who talks about life as a
more I could be doing for my son?’ than later – don’t wait and see. mum with a speech delayed child
But it’s normal for parents whose We can do so much with early on her blog mumernity.co.uk and
child has a speech delay to feel intervention. Instagram @mumernity
Great things are done
by a series of small
things brought together
VINCENT VAN GOGH
the art of wellness
20 life coach-approved
questions to unlock
your potential
Are you ready to take the first step towards becoming
the best version of yourself?
H
ave you ever same ambitious drive might have
wondered what fallen by the wayside a bit. MEET THE EXPERT
you might achieve However, truth be told, that’s
if there were no not necessarily a bad thing.
limits? What if you could unlock Few of us would claim to have
something within you that the same self-knowledge back
would propel you towards your then as we do today, and with
dreams and desires, whatever that experience under our belts,
they might be? perhaps right now is the perfect
Your ‘potential’ is something time to return to that challenge Adam Craft is a life coach
that, maybe, you haven’t thought of unlocking our potential. encouraging confidence in 18 to
about in a while. When we’re “‘Unlocking your potential’ is a 30-year-olds. Head to the Life
young people, in school, college, phrase that is commonly used, Coach Directory to find out more.
and university, we’re encouraged but what does it actually mean?
to categorise our skills, and look More importantly, what does it is this: we are all capable of
towards the horizon and the mean to you?” asks life coach achievement, there’s no doubt
things that we might want to Adam Craft. “My perception about that. The question is what
achieve. In our adult lives, that of unlocking your potential is your potential?” >>>
This will look drastically different of the most powerful ways to unlock
2
for each of us. As Adam points your potential.”
out, for some it might be career Life goes by so fast, especially Are your goals today
oriented – rising to the top, when we’re rushed off our feet, different from what they
leadership roles, financial goals, jumping from one task to the next were five years ago?
or influence on the world around without a moment spare to think
us. For others, it might be linked about the bigger questions that we
to health, nurturing our physical might come up against. So this is 3
health, as well as our mental your sign to make time to quietly
health. It could be tied up with reflect on what you truly want, and What achievement are
family, creating a life where we put how you might be able to get it. you most proud of?
quality time with the ones we love “There are so many benefits to
before everything else. identifying and unlocking your
Getting to the point where we feel potential,” Adam adds. “You are
4
we’re reaching our potential might possibly removing future regrets
involve identifying the roadblocks (and, in some cases, current What qualities do
that we need to clear. It could be regrets). Unlocking your potential you most value
our own self-limiting beliefs, and also has a powerful and positive in yourself?
self-esteem issues, both things that effect on your confidence levels.
can be worked on with the help of As you start to achieve, your
wellbeing professionals. Or you confidence will begin to grow as
might find that there are practical you are proving to yourself that
5
solutions, and that your specific you are very capable. Ask yourself
How do you best
roadblocks could be things like why unlocking your potential is so
learn new things?
time restraints, missing skills, or important to you. Is there a financial
other changes to your lifestyle. incentive? Is it a feeling of happiness
That isn’t to say that any of those or becoming proud of something?”
things are easy to sidestep – this is So, it’s over to you. Take some 6
the very start of a long process, but time to carefully consider each
What qualities do
the first step is to make some time question, you could try jotting
for self-reflection. down your answers in a journal to you most admire
“Think about it this way: imagine return to at a later date, noticing in other people?
yourself in the senior years of what has changed and what has
your life. You’re looking back on stayed the same. Know that there’s
your life, reflecting on what you no right or wrong way to respond, 7
have done, achieved, or made,” you might have multiple answers,
Adam says. “Is there something and they may come with caveats What does a good
that comes up that you ‘wished’ and sidenotes – that’s all part of the work-life balance
you pursued more? I will often process. Good luck! look like to you?
ask my clients this question when
they first start working with me.
1
It’s a great way of highlighting your 8
‘potentials’ or ‘musts’. From here,
my client then knows what their When do you feel How do you respond
potential is, and we work towards most fulfilled? to criticism?
unlocking that. Visualisation is one
9
Is there a skill
you have always
wanted to master? As you start to
14 achieve, your
10
Where do you want to be confidence will
in one year’s time?
What is your work ethic like?
begin to grow
11
15 18
If you could change
one thing about your How often do you Is there a part of
working life to make it
better, what would it be?
try new things? your life you would
like to dedicate
more time to?
12 16
Which people in your life are How important
19
most supportive of you? is money in
your life?
What makes you feel
most rested?
13
17
What holds 20
What does a ‘meaningful’
you back? life look like to you? Who do you turn to for help?
Rebuild your
wellbeing with Lego
Despite the popularity of Lego for childhood play, it might not be the first hobby
that comes to mind when you think of a therapeutic activity for adults. But, could
this enriching and playful pastime form the building blocks for better wellbeing?
I
t’s no surprise that Lego was only a few months ago that So what actually are the benefits
brings wonderful learning I really became fascinated by it of Lego play, and how can it be
opportunities for both adults and truly understood the appeal. used to rebuild your wellbeing?
and children, but apart from the I briefly mentioned to a friend
commonly known benefits like that I was in need of a new MINDFULNESS
teamwork and communication, hobby, and to my surprise she We know that mindfulness can
more and more research is gifted me a wonderful 756-piece sometimes go amiss in the hustle
focusing on the wellbeing flower bouquet set. Since then, I and bustle of our daily lives, but
benefits that come into play as have found it to be a great toolkit practising mindfulness through a
well. According to Lego Group’s to managing stress and helping hobby can certainly make it that
Play Well Report 2022, 93% of me switch-off. much easier. The next time you
adults regularly feel stressed, Whether you’re an adult re- construct a Lego build, notice
while 86% of adults claimed awakening your childhood what your hands are doing while
that play helps them to unwind, passion, or just discovering the you interact with each brick.
and, as a Lego fan myself, I can fun of creating and building from Consider the colour of the bricks
certainly vouch for this. scratch for the first time, I’m not and the shape of them. How does
Clicking together shiny, alone in finding joy, as well as it make you feel? Ready to give
coloured bricks for an hour a wealth of wellbeing benefits, this a proper go? Visit lego.com to
after work each day was an in this newfound hobby. Since read their step-by-step guide to
unexpected, but welcome, joy the launch of the 18+ Lego kits mindfulness.
that I’d never planned to indulge in 2020, more and more adults And if you want to delve further
in. Don’t be fooled, I’m no pro are heading to stores to alleviate into the art of mindfulness with
Lego creator. And, truth be told, themselves from the stressors of Lego, Build Yourself Happy: The
I was never drawn to Lego as a everyday life, and it’s pretty easy Joy of LEGO Play, by author Abbie
child like others were. In fact, it to see why. Headon (£9.99, DK Publishing), is
the art of wellness
Practising mindfulness
through a hobby can
make it that much
easier
the delightful self-help book with
50+ building activities and tips,
specifically designed to help you
find your mindful moment.
RELAXATION
Activities like painting and
crafting induce a naturally
calming effect on the brain,
and it’s no different for Lego.
In an article by Well+Good,
psychotherapist Melissa Lapides
expresses the benefits of using the gentle, rhythmic clicking of very literal metaphor of what we
it to reduce stress and anxiety. Lego bricks being joined together can build when we take things one
She says: “When you’re focusing soothes you, or even the sound of step, or brick, at a time.
on creating something, you’re thousands of bricks being poured
pointing your mind in the at once, head to Spotify to give it DOPAMINE BURST
direction of what you’re creating. a listen and induce a moment of Dopamine is a neurotransmitter
This doesn’t leave room for serenity. that creates feelings of pleasure
unwanted thoughts to penetrate and reward when it is released.
your brain.” SELF-ESTEEM And though meditation and
She goes on to explain that the According to the Lego Play Report exercise are more widely known
hand-eye coordination required 2018, 95% of parents claimed Lego to help stimulate this feel-good
for this creative pursuit helps to helped to nurture their child’s chemical, research from the
induce the brain into a meditative confidence, and if you’ve ever Lego 2018 Play Well report shows
state, reducing uncontrollable felt the sense of accomplishment a clear link between regular
thinking, which can help to that comes with completing a play and happier, healthier
decrease anxiety. task, you’ll understand why. This families. This suggests that
And if this isn’t enough to rewarding feeling you get from the time spent creating and
convince you, Lego has also finishing a Lego build can provide accomplishing together in a
created a soundtrack called ‘LEGO a dose of encouragement when playful environment helps to
White Noise’ which is specifically your self-esteem is running low, release this surge of dopamine
designed to promote relaxation acting as a friendly reminder of from the brain, ensuring that
using the calming effects of, well your capabilities, and can build sense of achievement impacts the
you guessed it… white noise. If your confidence as a result. It’s a whole family.
The 7 greatest
nutrition myths
DEBUNKED
Whether it’s scrolling Instagram or flicking through newsfeeds, we’re constantly
being fed messages to make sure we eat healthily. But what does good
nutrition really mean, and how can we separate the myths from the tips actually
worth following? Jenna Farmer speaks to the experts to get to the bottom of
some of the most common nutrition myths to separate fact from fiction
Writing | Jenna Farmer
W
hen it comes to eating
healthily, we all know Myth: Low-fat foods are healthier
the general rule of
having our five a day and drinking Reality: Any trip to the supermarket will leave you bombarded
plenty of water. But when trying with low-fat alternatives to the staples. But high-fat foods don’t
to keep up to date with the latest always deserve their bad reputation. For example, you may read
nutritional advice, it can seem as about high-fat foods being linked to heart attack risk, but one study
though superfoods are changing published in the Lancet found your total fat intake isn’t actually
all the time, and a week won’t go linked to your risk of cardiovascular disease. Many healthy foods are
by without a new trend hitting the high in fat but are still super healthy, such as avocados and oily fish.
headlines. Is it any wonder many These are both rich in omega 3s, found to support brain health.
of us feel clueless? How can we In turn, lower fat equivalents aren’t always what they seem. “With
know which tips are valuable, and food and drinks that are labeled low-fat or even fat-free, it doesn’t
which ones we should take with a necessarily mean they’re good for you, in fact it can be the opposite.
pinch of salt? Our experts unravel They often come with more salt and sugar than the real deal,” says
these common nutrition myths to nutrition advisor Simone Thomas.
help you sort facts from fiction.
food & health
Myth: Everyone
should take a
multivitamin
Reality: Whether it’s to
help with your energy
levels, or for better skin,
should we always reach
for the multivitamin? Well,
not necessarily. According
to the NHS website, most
of us don’t need to take
a multivitamin if we’re
already eating a balanced
diet. There are exceptions
Myth: Opt for sugar free dupes to this rule: for example,
in the winter months it is
Reality: Research has found many of us eat double the amount recommended that most of
we should. However, sugar isn’t always the enemy – it’s actually us consider taking a vitamin
found in a whole range of healthy foods, like fruits and vegetables. D supplement. Other than
These foods also contain other beneficial nutrients as well as fibre that, there’s no evidence it
(which can slow down the absorption of sugar, which is why eating a makes you any healthier.
whole apple would have less impact on your blood sugar levels than “A better option would
drinking a cup of juice). be to get these vitamins
“Processed, low-sugar products from the supermarket come and minerals through your
with their own health concerns – sugar is replaced with artificial diet by including more
sweeteners in these foods, and these can lead to changes in gut vegetables, fruit, oily fish,
bacteria, and continued sugar cravings. A better option is low sugar wholegrains, and good
fruit, such as berries that contain other nutrients, or raw honey that quality meat and dairy,” says
contains B vitamins and iron,” says nutritionist Hannah Hope. Hannah Hope. >>>
Myth: Gluten-free is better for your health Myth: Egg yolks are
bad for you
Reality: A small percentage of people will need to follow a gluten-
free diet to feel well. For example, they may have coeliac disease Reality: While it was once
(an autoimmune disease which impacts one in 100 people) or non- believed that eggs raise
coeliac gluten sensitivity. However, there are no health benefits for your cholesterol level,
going gluten-free unless you fall into either of these categories (and this is now an outdated
if you suspect gluten causes you problems, it’s important to speak to philosophy. Research has
your GP before ditching it). since proved that eating one
While there are lots of healthy foods that are naturally gluten-free egg a day doesn’t increase
(such as veggies, fruit, and fish), swapping your regular bread for your heart disease risk at
gluten-free isn’t necessarily healthier. In fact, one study has found all. “This really is a health
that opting for gluten-free means you miss out on the consumption myth hangover because
of wholegrains, which may increase your risk of cardiovascular eggs, including the yolk,
conditions. are good for you, and are
not to be avoided!” says
Simone Thomas. “Eggs are
Myth: You need to switch to decaf a food powerhouse and are
packed with protein, as well
Reality: How often do you feel guilty about your morning coffee as offering healthy fats,
run? Turns out, you really don’t have to. For most adults, it’s potassium, vitamin B12 and
perfectly safe to consume 300mg (around three cups of coffee) a D. They’re also an amazing
day. In fact, caffeine actually has some exciting health benefits; it’s source of zinc and selenium.”
been found that coffee drinkers have a lower risk of diabetes, and it
may even lower your risk of heart disease.
“Caffeine can have positive influences on mental performance. The reality is that there’s no one
It can increase alertness, wakefulness, prevent memory loss, and quick fix for better health and
improve cognitive function,” says Hannah Hope. wellbeing. But understanding the
However, if you drink more than three cups a day, truth behind nutrition claims can
cutting down could be an idea. “High doses of caffeine help you make the right decisions
can also lead to effects on the cardiovascular system, such for your body, and enable you to
as palpitations and arrhythmias, as well as inducing eat a well-balanced diet.
anxiety. I recommend no more than two caffeine-
containing drinks before midday,” Hannah adds.
MEET THE EXPERTS
Myth: I need to do a detox diet to to be healthy Hannah Hope is a
Reality: How often have you read about the latest detox or cleanse nutritionist working in
the field of women’s
to help you look or feel better? But, our body can detox all by itself. hormonal health.
“Food does not ‘detoxify’ our body. Our body has natural cleansing
and detoxifying mechanisms that are much stronger than any food Karine Patel is a
or supplement,” says dietitian Karine Patel, founder of Dietitian & dietitian and founder
Co. “Our liver produces enzymes that convert toxins into waste, and of Dietitian Fit & Co.
our kidneys filter and remove this waste. In healthy people, the liver
and kidneys function well, and there is no accumulation of toxins.” Visit the Nutritionist Resource
to find out more.
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ISSUE 69

DEVOTED TO MENTAL HEALTH & WELLBEING £5.99

ARE YOU A URSUE YOU

This might stem from a desire for

Whether that’s working through our past. W | happiful.com

29 Let us paint the picture

75 20 Qs to find your potential

78 When something clicks

16 Create a crisis plan

26 What are chakras?

55 Stop self-destructing Positive pointers

46 Energise your life

68 Periods in the workplace

CHANTAL DEMPSEY DANIELLE BOTTONE MANAGEMENT

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Karine is a dietitian and Hannah is a nutritional

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One undeniable truth is that

Prices and benefits are correct at the

Could these four things halve your risk of dementia?

It may be time to look away from the ‘mummy bloggers’

Virtual singing hits all the

may have a higher risk of meditation or practising

To allow myself – for To celebrate

Help! I’m stuck in

make dating infinitely easier! than that. You deserve someone

Yoga teacher and certified holistic therapist

A The chakras are vortexes of

A Experiencing too much

A Unblocking your chakras is

Photography | Muhammad Rahim Ali

Art imitating life

of the artmaking is to facilitate helpful exercise for those who

“When I get stressed, I go to the funfairs

“I think they were

for other people of who I am.” (Lucy’s image)

SIGNS THAT can’t pour from an empty cup’ is

What if I make the

What if there were no

How to support someone

Positive change in people’s “It can be helpful to think

and a strengthening of to a lapse in a helpful way can

relationships for those into moving forward.”

You have a choice

Think better thoughts

Working with a trained Rapid

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Those afraid to Those who don’t feel Those feeling lost

Those who are

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