M N EM OSYNE 68 (2 0 1 5 ) 131-135 MNEMOSYNE

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Caligula and the Bludgeoned Priest

In a much discussed passage, Suetonius tells the story of when the emperor
Caligula was pretending to perform the job of a priest’s assistant (popa), who
during a religious ceremony would normally bludgeon the animal on the head
with his sacrificial axe, so that the higher priest (cultrarius) may then slit its
throat; in this case, however, the emperor felled the priest instead (Calig. 32.3).
In order to appreciate the anecdote in its full context within the biography,
more of the passage should be quoted (32.1-3):1*

animum quoque remittenti ludoque et epulis dedito eadem factorum

dictorumque saeuitia aderat... murmillonem e ludo rudibus secum bat-
tuentem et sponte prostratum confodit ferrea sica ac more uictorum cum
palma discucurrit. admota altaribus uictima succinctus poparum habitu
elato alte malleo cultrarium mactauit. lautiore conuiuio effusus subito in
cachinnos consulibus, qui iuxta cubabant, quidnam rideret blande quae-
rentibus: ‘quid', inquit, ‘nisi uno meo nutu iugulari utrumque uestrum
statim posse?’

In diversions too, when engaged in play and banquets, he displayed the

same cruel deeds and words... When a gladiator who was still in training
was sparring with him using wooden swords, and had deliberately fallen,
he stabbed him with an iron dagger, and ran around in the manner of
winners with a trophy. When a sacrificial animal had been led to the
altars, he dressed himself in the attire of a priest’s assistant and, raising
his axe in the air, slayed the priest. In a glorious feast, when he suddenly
burst into laughter, and the consuls sitting next to him enquired what
was giving him his winning smile, he said: 'What, if not the fact that, with
one nod from me, each of your throats can be instantly cut?’

1 I use the texts of Ihm 1908 for Suetonius and Boissevain 1898 for Dio, with my own transla­
tions. In this passage, blande is usually taken as ‘politely’ with quaerentibus (e.g. Rolfe 1913,
455; Edwards 2000,153; Graves 32oo7,163; cf. Hurley 2011,179), but it makes better sense as
’pleasantly’ or ’attractively’ (o l d s.v. blandus 1) with rideret; cf. Petron. Sat. 127.1.

© KONINKLIJKE BRILL NV, LEIDEN, 2014 | DOI 10.1163/1568525X -12301545

132 POW ER

The biographer here demonstrates his customary ability to group the items
of his rubrics in ascending order of effect, moving from gladiator to priest to
consuls, and culminating in a pithy saying.2 Woods has recently speculated
that the story about the priest never happened, and that Suetonius’ source
merely invented it based on a misunderstanding of a different episode, which
is reported by Dio (59.22.3-4):3

xu j3st;cov Si tcoxe, xai pa9 cov oti o9x e’fv) ol apyupiov, pxvjoi xs xag xwv TaXaxcov
aTtoypatpag, xai i1• aiixcov xoug irXoucricoxdxoog 0 avaxco9v)vai xEXEuaag
£7ravv]X0s xe xpig xoug cruyxuPEUxd; xai S<prj oxi 'YpEig 7X£pi oXiycov Spaxpcov
dyojv(^E(T0 E, £ycb 8e sg pupiag xai 7r£vxaxicrxiX(ag pupiaSag vj9 poio-a. xai oSxoi
p£v iv ouSsvi X6ycp a7rcoXovxo- dpsXsi sT<; xi? auxwv T06X10? EaxspScog dXXcog
pEv e5 xpv)paxcov vjxcov, ou psvxot xal U7tEp7rXouxcov &ctxe xai l7ri§ouXEU0i)vai
St’ auxd, Spcog e^ Excovupiag dmacpayy]' ouxcog axplxcog -rrdvxa iyiyvsxo.

When he was playing dice once, and realized that he had no money, he
demanded the census-list of Gauls, and, after ordering the wealthiest of
them to be executed, returned to his fellow players, saying: ‘You compete
for a few drachmas, while I have taken in a hundred and fifty million.’And
these men died unnoticed; indeed one of them, Julius Sacerdos, who had
generally decent funds, but not so abundant as to draw the attention of
schemers for it, had his throat cut due to his similar name. This was how
senselessly everything happened.

According to Woods, the source followed by Suetonius mistook the victim’s

name Sacerdos, which means ‘priest’, for an actual priest, and embellished
the entire anecdote to fit the bill. Woods does not find the story in Suetonius
well-suited to the rubrics of tudus and epuiae, and “the realisation that the

2 See Hurley 1993,128 (ad loc.); cf. Brandao 2009, 223 for this section as part of a larger cre­
scendo (gradatio) in the Life. On this technique in Suetonius, see e.g. Steidle 1951, 56-58;
Mouchovd 1968, 79-104; Cizek 1977,118-134; Gascou 1984, 697-700; Pausch 2004, 294-301; for
the biographer’s use of characterizing sayings, Damon 2014.
3 Woods 2012, 452-454. For scepticism about the historical reliability of Suetonius’ story, cf.
Plass 1988,68,82; Guastella 1992,212 (ad loc.): “Di questo episodio, raccontato nella consueta
forma generica, e cosi privo di un qualsiasi inquadramento da sembrare ffancamente incre-
dibile, ancora una volta Svetonio e l’unico testimone”; also Brandao 2009,184,322. It is nota­
bly absent from two major biographies of Caligula: Barrett 1989 and Winterling 20m

M N EM OSYNE 6 8 (2 0 1 5 ) 131-135
CALIGULA AND T H E B L U D G E O N ED PRI EST 133

story originates in a description of his behaviour while playing at dice solves

this problem."4
However, Woods’ explanation is needless if we observe the humorous and
playful context of Suetonius’ scene and of the other examples surrounding it
in the same section. Caligula is simply playing the role of popa for fun, and
the murder is therefore categorized as an ‘amusement’ in the same way as the
emperor’s preceding diversion (the more literal lucLus, o l d 3) with the gladi­
ator, as well as his following threat to the consuls.5 This amusement is under­
scored by the verbal wit of Suetonius’ sentence, which is an excellent example
of an unforeseen twist (Cic. De or. 2.284, Quint. Inst. 6.3.84), since the punch
line ironically defies expectation: elato alte malleo \ cultrarium mactauit.6 The
careful order of Suetonius’ heading also suggests that ‘play’ will be illustrated
before ‘banquets’, and, just as the final anecdote provides a cruel example of
the latter, the story about the priest speaks to the former.7 Hence Suetonius is
able to make a smooth transition in the very next section (Calig. 33) from the
emperor’s playful relaxations to his jokes’ (ioci). This interpretation is the most
sensible way to reconcile the story’s position in this part of the biography, and
renews credence in its possible factuality, allaying the doubts of some that the
emperor, as pontifex maximus, would ever really discharge such menial duties.8
Since there is nothing in the passage of Dio quoted above to support a
connection with Suetonius’ rather dissimilar anecdote, aside from the loose
resemblance of a man named Sacerdos, it is better taken as describing different

4 Woods 2012, 454. Nor is he the only scholar to feel the need to explain, or apologize for, the
story’s placement; see Hurley 1993,128: “Suetonius classifies religious ritual among leisure
activities (anlm um ... remittenti, 32.1)”; Wardle 1994,26: “within examples of saeuitia at times
of relaxation, at play or banquets, Caligula's murder of the cidtrarius at a sacrifice seems ill
chosen... However, compared to the occasions where Suetonius orders and classifies his
material consistently and appropriately, his failures, or apparent failures, are a small
problem.”
5 See old s.v. Indus 5; “Light-hearted or idle conduct or talk, fun, merriment, frivolity, etc.” We
might compare the word’s use at Claud. 8, where the sleeping Claudius is whipped as a joke;
see Hurley 2001,89 (ad loc.). It is also used of mime performances at Iul. 84.2; see Sumi 2002,
566-570; pace Osgood 2006,13, n. 5; Hurley 2011,46; Scantamburlo 2011,244 (ad loc.). Cf. Aug.
53.1, Tib. 45. Suetonius’ phrasing may imply something of this sense, since he says that
Caligula was merely ‘dressed’ as a priest’s assistant (succinctus poparum habitu)', cf. Lindsay
1993.124 (ad loc.).
6 Reekmans 1992,230; Brandao 2009,80; cf. Plass 1988,35.
7 On the similar precision of other headings in Suetonius, see e.g. Carter 1982,8; Townend 1982,
xii; Wardle 2001,65.
8 See e.g. Hurley 1993,128; also Wardle 1994, 262 with bibliography. This perceived inconsis­
tency has no doubt led to the story’s widespread dismissal.

MNEMOSYNE 68 (2015) 131-135

134 POWER

deaths, which Suetonius himself also records to illustrate other points about
Caligula in the biography (Calig. 30.1,41.2).9 Taken together, the latter passages
do not so much form a doublet, as the separate and careful distribution by
Suetonius of details from the same historical event for different purposes;10 the
biographer has removed the confusion over Sacerdos’ name to an earlier sec­
tion, just as he often returns to familiar terrain with further information. In
fact, it is admirable how little he repeats himself, and his points of overlap are
usually distinctive for providing only new material.*11There is thus no concrete
basis for equating the passage about the bludgeoned priest with the murder of
Sacerdos, just as there is no reason to find it unsuitably classified by Suetonius.

Tristan Power
New York, ny , u s a
tristan.power@gmaiLcom

Received: Decem ber 2012; accepted: January 2013

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CALIGULA AND T H E B L U D G E O N ED PRIEST 135

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