Toxic positivity

Toxic positivity arises from an unrealistic expectation of having perfectly happy lives all the time. When
this does not happen, people "can feel shame or guilt" by being unable to attain the perfection desired.

Toxic positivity is actually a form of gaslighting, the term for when someone causes you to question your
own sense of reality. It can cause people to dissociate themselves from their negative feelings,
rationalize unacceptable experiences, and even gaslight others in turn.

While toxic positivity may not be ill-intentioned, it can still be unproductive and hurtful. People may feel
like their emotions are dismissed or like the other person doesn't understand, care, or empathize. This
can prevent them from being vulnerable and sharing their struggles in the future.

Toxic positivity involves dismissing negative emotions and responding to distress with false reassurances
rather than empathy. It comes from feeling uncomfortable with negative emotions. It is often well-
intentioned but can cause alienation and a feeling of disconnection.

Signs of Toxic Positivity

Below are some common expressions and experiences of toxic positivity to help you recognize how it
shows up in everyday life.

Hiding/Masking your true feelingsTrying to “just get on with it” by stuffing/dismissing an

emotion(s)Feeling guilty for feeling what you feelMinimizing other people’s experiences with “feel
good” quotes or statementsTrying to give someone perspective (e.g., “it could be worse”) instead of
validating their emotional experienceShaming or chastising others for expressing frustration or anything
other than positivityBrushing off things that are bothering you with an “It is what it is”Signs of Toxic
Positivity

Below are some common expressions and experiences of toxic positivity to help you recognize how it
shows up in everyday life.

Hiding/Masking your true feelingsTrying to “just get on with it” by stuffing/dismissing an

emotion(s)Feeling guilty for feeling what you feelMinimizing other people’s experiences with “feel
good” quotes or statementsTrying to give someone perspective (e.g., “it could be worse”) instead of
validating their emotional experienceShaming or chastising others for expressing frustration or anything
other than positivityBrushing off things that are bothering you with an “It is what it is”
We define toxic positivity as the excessive and ineffective overgeneralization of a happy, optimistic state
across all situations. The process of toxic positivity results in the denial, minimization, and invalidation of
the authentic human emotional experience.

Toxic positivity is the belief that no matter how dire or difficult a situation is, people should maintain a
positive mindset. While there are benefits to being optimistic and engaging in positive thinking, toxic
positivity rejects all difficult emotions in favor of a cheerful and often falsely-positive façade.