TC 2: Palliation and gender roles / women’s roles.

Deciding upon a correct counselling

session = dialogue

EXERCISE:
Please choose 1 type of terminally ill patient (= his / her disease). Choose one or two stage(s)
of the 5 stage DABDA model. Write a short dialogue between yourself (= a social worker
working in the Timisoara Palliative Care Hospice) and your terminal patient. Your dialogue
should have maximum 10 sentences.

 Make sure your dialogue reflects the stage s/he is in.

 How do you dress? What colors?  why?
 How much make-up would you wear?
 Where would you have this conversation: in the ward outside, in the sunny garden?  why?
 What and how would you talk to him her?  why?
 Which subjects would you cover?  why?

PLEASE CONSULT THIS SAMPLE by Elena Vacaru Covaci, DAS student 2 nd year,
2021:
 The patient I talk with is Irina, 75 years old and suffering from cancer. She is admitted
to Timisoara Palliative Care Hospice. (Irina has a husband of 80 years old and a son,
who is 35 years old. The husband and the son live together in their house.  Irina’s
husband has diabetes, high blood pressure, and gangrene in his foot.) 
 For my meeting with her I wear a simple, casual outfit, with warm colours and light
makeup. We set up for the meeting to be located in the institution's courtyard in
the sun, since it is a warm, sunny April day.
 I am approaching her with a smile on my face. So, I introduce myself to her by my
first name, Elena, and tell her that I am a social worker. She replies with a smile and
lets me know that her name is Irina.
 I see that she is in a good mood and I start by asking her why she is in this hospice, to
see if she feels comfortable to talk about her health problem. 
 This is the conversation that followed:
 
Irina: I’m here because I’m sick and at home there is nobody to take care of me. My
husband is sick, he is diabetic and has problems with blood pressure and my son is
working the whole day.  
Elena:  Oh, so you live with your husband and son? 
Irina: Yes, I am. However, they cannot look after me. I got sick 5 years ago. I beat the
cancer two times, but now I think it’s time to go “Home”. 
Elena:  Home?
Irina: Yes. Since my mother passed the way, I have felt that I have a second house in
heaven. Then one by one, my father, brother, and the whole family moved to Heaven. I
feel like I have two homes, one in heaven and one on the earth among those who are
alive.
Elena: Are you a religious person?  
Irina: O, yes! God has always been present in my life. In good times and bad times I knew
He was there with me, in my heart. He is my Father and my Friend.
 Elena: Where do you draw strength in this season?
Irina : I meditate on the words of Corry Ten Bum: „ I am not afraid of an unknown future
that is in the hand of an All-knowing God !” I have gone through all my unknown
circumstances with God on my side. I will go through this one also the same way.
Elena: Can I help you with something? 
Irina: I would like to write a letter to my husband and son. Please give it to them after I
passed the way. (She smiles at me) 
Elena:  Of course! I think that this will be a great mission for me!   
Irina: Thank you!  
Elena: It is an honour to do it! Can we see each other one more time?  
Irina: Sure! I’ll be ready to give you some beautiful memories from my life! (She smiles) 
Elena:  I look forward to see you again!  

REFERENCES:
Kübler-Ross, E. (2008). On Death and Dying. New York: Scribner.
Kübler-Ross, E. (2019). Despre moarte si a muri. Bucuresti: Editura For You.
Kübler-Ross, E. (1997). Living with Death and Dying: How to Communicate with the
Terminally Ill. New York: Scribner.
Radu, C. (2013). Locul unde timisorenii se duc sa moara! Centrul de Ingrijire Paliativa,
ultima linie intr-un razboi deja pierdut. Retrieved from
https://www.opiniatimisoarei.ro/locul-unde-timisorenii-se-duc-sa-moara-centrul-de-
ingrijire-paliativa-ultima-linie-intr-un-razboi-deja-pierdut/24/04/2013.
Stubbs. T. (2008). Death Without Fear: Comfort for Those Facing Death or Bereavement.
London: Dandelion Enterprises.