Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time

to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and
society as a whole.

Do you agree or disagree?

There has been much controversy around the idea that teenagers should be required
to do voluntary work in their free time to help the local community. I personally agree with the
idea as this would benefit not only the teenagers but also the society in general.
Firstly, individuals are required to do mandatory work which means they will find a
new way to spend their free time more effectively. Assuming voluntary work would mostly be
physical work and required communication. This can provide a valuable opportunity for
adolescents to develop and enhance their communication skills, as well as their ability to
work effectively in a team and take on leadership roles. By participating in volunteer
activities, they can increase their communication skill of making friends, teamwork and
leadership but at the same time keeping themself healthy as a result of doing the voluntary
work. Concisely put, by exposing teenagers to the outdoor environment, they’ll be more
ready and prepared for their future regardless of their career.
Secondly, having teens perform volunteer work will have a variety of positive effects
on both the small-town level and the larger scale of society. First off, this move will produce
a sizable pool of unpaid laborers who are eager to perform any task. As a result, there will
be more trading inside the neighborhood, which will be advantageous to everyone in this
community. In addition, voluntary work can help build a stronger relationship between
different groups and communities. By engaging with business owners, community leaders
and neighbors through voluntary work teenagers can promote more trust, communication,
and collaboration between communities.
In conclusion, by helping the community and people individually for a variety of
positive benefits. This concept should be applied in the real world, in my opinion.

Length: 293 words

1. Volunteer activities > Voluntary activities

2. But > while
3. First off, > The first positive effect is that

Comments
(+) Very good control of grammar throughout the Essay (Spelling, tense & sentence structure
(+) A reasonable idea development and support in the two main body paragraphs
(+) A quite flexible use word choice to express the idea development
(-) Be more careful about some key word choice (Ex. Volunteer work & Voluntary work, First off)

Overall: 7.0
Lexical resource: 6.5
Coherence & cohesion: 6.5
Grammatical range & accuracy: 7.0
Task response: 7.0