Essay A is a well-organized, in-depth comparison essay, which uses a series of thought-provoking

questions to expose tue reality and elicit the most sensible way of thinking.
The first paragraph is brief and clear. The aim of the whole essay is stated clearly by the first
sentence, which indicates how close their conditions are will be discussed as main points. The
thesis statement is the last sentence of the paragraph, which can be regarded as the standard of
arguement as well.
The whole structure of this essay is the combination of parallel and progressive development.
Many points are put forward one by one, but as it goes deeper, extended questions are discussed
as well, which shows preciseness and coherence of this essay. "The first question", "Next",
"Another matter is", "Related to", these are all excellent directive transitions. Every part is led by
those words, which makes the whole logical chain really complete and enables it to develop
deeper and deeper naturally.
However, there still exists some room for further improvement. First, some questions lack
enough evidence to support the arguement. More examples and statistics should be introduced
into it. Second, this essay is a little bit hard to read, so it's better to use various sentences and add
more interesting details. But it truly did well in register and connotation area. Vocabs it uses are
academic and adapt to the context well. Appositives are used to highlight the focus and discussed
objects as well.

Essay B:
This essay has a really good combination of patterns, which includes the narration of her own
story, experience, description, vivid exemplification, arguement, point-by-point comparison and
subtle cause and effect.
Each part has its own brief topic sentence, which indicates different focus. They are coherently
connected some narrative structure like "After four years...", or some relevant quetion "Are there
strategies to...", which leads to further introduction of the arguement and development of a
specific point. So this essay's transitions are not so explicit, but are still natural enough.
Another special thing is its parallel subtitles, which enables each part relatively independent but
logically connected to each other, thus strengthening its coherence.
But this essay not only has logical and ethical appeal. Pathos it uses contributes a lot to the
appeal of essay. "The honeymoon is over" is really an attractive metophar, indicating author's
attitude and createing a special connotation, which is connected to the main thesis.