Lauren Frans review Krishna

Unit 3 Peer Review:

1. How is the essay organized? Does each paragraph contain one and only one main idea that
connects to the thesis? Does this organization help move the ideas forward? Tell the author if the
organization works or offer organization ideas.

The essay is organized into clear sections, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of
the study. However, some paragraphs contain multiple ideas, which can make the organization
feel slightly off. Consider breaking down paragraphs to ensure each one focuses on only one
main idea that directly connects to the thesis. This would help improve the flow of ideas
throughout the essay.

2. Where could the author use stronger transitions to strengthen connections between his/her
points?

Stronger transitions could be used between paragraphs to create smoother connections between
points. For example, adding transitional phrases like "Moreover," or "In addition," would help
guide the reader from one idea to the next more effectively.

3. Does the author have any fragments, comma splices, or run-ons? If so, mark them in the text.
If you know the rule, then go ahead an offer advice to the author. If you do not know the rule,
then simply mention that something seems off.

The essay contains no obvious fragments, comma splices, or run-ons.

4. Where could the author use more detail to further illustrate his/her claim? Indicate these places
in the text.

More detail could be added to further illustrate the claims made in the essay. For instance,
providing specific examples or quotes from the study to support the analysis would strengthen
the argument and make it more persuasive.

5. Are the style and tone of the essay appropriate for the audience?

Yes

6. Are the sentences and word choices varied? Does the author use strong, active verbs and solid,
descriptive nouns? Indicate where the author could strengthen the verbs and nouns.

While the sentences are varied, you could strengthen the use of strong, active verbs and
descriptive nouns to enhance clarity and engagement. For example, instead of saying "provides
general information," consider using a stronger verb like "presents" or "offers."
7. Is the author too repetitive or present too much information? In other words, does the essay
overwhelm you as a reader because there is too much information or underwhelm you because
there is too little information?

The essay does not seem repetitive

8. Is the essay confusing because information has been omitted and/or too much information is
assumed to be known by the readers?

The essay is not confusing, but additional information could be included to provide more context
and depth to the analysis.

9. Is the essay in the correct MLA format?

Yes
10. Indicate in the text the author’s strengths and weaknesses.

Strength would be in your ability to analyze and interpret the research findings effectively.
However, more evidence from the study could be incorporated to further support the analysis.

11. What are two or three revision suggestions you have for the writer?

Three revision suggestions for the writer are: (1) Break down paragraphs to focus on one main
idea each, (2) Strengthen transitions between paragraphs, (3) Incorporate more evidence from the
study to support the analysis.

Unit 3 Peer Review Workshop:

1. Does the author present a thesis statement about the rhetorical effectiveness of a peerreviewed
article? Is this thesis clear and direct? What is it? Mark it in the text. What suggestions do you
have for the writer in order to strengthen the thesis? Has the author chosen one (and only one)
peer-reviewed article to analyze?

The thesis statement addresses the rhetorical effectiveness of a peer-reviewed article, but it could
be clearer.

2. Does the essay include a controlling idea that is not obvious to everyone? In other words, does
it reveal something not everyone would know about how and why this peerreviewed article is
used? Where can the author develop more of an analysis or more fully develop the ideas?

The essay contains a controlling idea that might not be immediately apparent to everyone,
especially in its detailed analysis of rhetorical strategies. More specific examples or quotes from
the article could enhance the analysis.

3. Does the author use elements from the article to support the thesis made about it? What are
they? Mark them in the text. Are they used as good evidence? Indicate why or why not in the
text. What kind of evidence would help the writer demonstrate his/her point?
The author uses elements from the article, such as ethos, pathos, logos, and language, effectively
as evidence to analyze rhetorical strategies.

4. Does the essay maintain a cohesive focus around the thesis? Does the author use solid
transitions to guide his/her ideas? Determine, as a reader, how you want to be presented with the
information. Does the organization work for you? Indicate suggestions for organization and
transitions. Also, mark any tangents that you find in the essay.

The essay maintains focus on the thesis, but there are some tangents that could be better
connected to the main argument. Clearer organization and transitions would improve clarity.

5. Where could the author use more detail to further illustrate his/her claim? Indicate these places
in the text.

More detail is needed to illustrate claims, particularly in analyzing specific rhetorical choices.
Specific examples or quotes from the article would enhance clarity and persuasiveness.

6. Are the introduction and conclusion focused on the main point of the essay? Does the
conclusion answer the three questions? (1. Did I do what I said I would do? 2. Why is this
important? 3. What do I want my audience to do with this information?)

The introduction and conclusion focus on the main point, but the conclusion could more
explicitly address the three questions posed.

7. Indicate in the text the author’s strengths and weaknesses.

The author effectively analyzes rhetorical strategies but needs more specific evidence and detail.
Clearer organization and transitions would also improve the paper.

8. What three revision suggestions do you have for the writer? 9. Indicate in the text where the
author needs more details.

Revision suggestions include clarifying and strengthening the thesis, providing more specific
examples or quotes, and ensuring each paragraph supports the thesis with clear transitions.

9- Indicate in the text where the author needs more details.

More details are needed in analyzing specific rhetorical choices made by the authors

10. Indicate in the text where the author needs more evidence.

More evidence from the peer-reviewed article is needed to support the analysis of rhetorical
strategies.

11. Indicate in the text three places where the author deserves praise for this essay.
Praise for the essay includes clear analysis of rhetorical strategies, thorough discussion of their
impact, and insightful exploration of the importance of effective communication.