Anna Editing/Content

Editing

How is the essay organized? Does each paragraph contain one and only one main
idea that connects to the thesis? Does this organization help move the ideas forward?
Tell the author if the organization works or offer organization ideas.

The essay is organized clearly and logically, with each paragraph focusing on a
specifc aspect of the study conducted by Rindfeisch and colleagues. Each section
contains one main idea that connects to the thesis: the comparison of supervised
student physical therapists (SPTs) and licensed physical therapists in managing low
back pain (LBP).

Where could the author use stronger transitions to strengthen connections

between his/her points?

Stronger transitions help connections between points, like between paragraphs. For
example, transitions such as "Moreover" or "Additionally" could improve ideas and help
the essay flow.

Does the author have any fragments, comma splices, or run-ons? If so, mark them in
the text. If you know the rule, then go ahead an offer advice to the author. If you do
not know the rule, then simply mention that something seems off.

The essay has no run-ons, commas splices, or fragments.

Where could the author use more detail to further illustrate his/her claim? Indicate these
places in the text.

The author could use more detail in certain areas to further illustrate claims,
particularly when discussing the specific statistical analysis methods used or the
qualitative data gathered from patient statements.

Are the style and tone of the essay appropriate for the audience?
Yes, the language used is formal and academic.

Are the sentences and word choices varied? Does the author use strong, active verbs
and solid, descriptive nouns? Indicate where the author could strengthen the verbs and
nouns.

Yes, the word choices are varied and informative.

Is the author too repetitive or present too much information? In other words, does
the essay overwhelm you as a reader because there is too much information or
underwhelm you because there is too little information?

The essay does not seem to present too much information or overwhelm the reader.

Is the essay confusing because information has been omitted and/or too much
information is assumed to be known by the readers?

The essay is not confusing due to the information provided. However, additional
context or background on specific concepts, such as the Mayo Collaborative Model of
Clinical Education, could help clarify the discussion for readers who may not be familiar
with these terms.

Is the essay in the correct MLA format?

The essay does not provide the page numbers or in-text citations.

Indicate in the text the author’s strengths and weaknesses.

Overall, the author demonstrates strengths in presenting a clear and structured

argument supported by evidence. However, there are areas for improvement
in transitions, detail, and the MLA format.

What are two or three revision suggestions you have for the writer?

Strengthen transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of ideas and clarify the
progression of the argument.
Incorporate more specific details and examples to illustrate key points further and
strengthen the overall argument. Additionally, the MLA format guidelines should be included.

Content

Does the author present a thesis statement about the rhetorical effectiveness of a
peer-reviewed article? Is this thesis clear and direct? What is it? Mark it in the text.
What suggestions do you have for the writer in order to strengthen the thesis? Has the
author chosen one (and only one) peer-reviewed article to analyze?

The author presents a thesis statement about the rhetorical effectiveness of the peer-
reviewed article in the following passage: "In "Student Physical Therapists Achieve
Similar Patient Outcomes as Licensed Physical Therapists," Rindfleisch and colleagues
successfully use rhetorical tools like ethos, logos, and proof to show that supervised
student physical therapists (SPTs) and licensed physical therapists manage low back
pain (LBP) in a way that is similar to one another." The thesis is clear and direct, stating
that the authors of the peer-reviewed article effectively utilize rhetorical tools to
demonstrate the similarity in outcomes between supervised student physical therapists
and licensed physical therapists in managing low back pain. However, it could be
strengthened by specifying the intended audience and the significance of the rhetorical
analysis.

Does the essay include a controlling idea that is not obvious to everyone? In other
words, does it reveal something not everyone would know about how and why this
peer-reviewed article is used? Where can the author develop more of an analysis or
more fully develop the ideas?

The essay includes a controlling idea that may not be obvious to everyone regarding the
rhetorical strategies employed in the peer-reviewed article. The author could further
develop the analysis by providing a deeper exploration of how these rhetorical
strategies contribute to the article's effectiveness in persuading the audience of the
similarity in outcomes between SPTs and licensed PTs.

Does the author use elements from the article to support the thesis made about it?
What are they? Mark them in the text. Are they used as good evidence? Indicate why or
why not in the text. What kind of evidence would help the writer demonstrate his/her
point?
The author uses elements from the article to support the thesis, such as mentioning the
authors' use of ethos, logos, and proof to demonstrate their argument.

Does the essay maintain a cohesive focus around the thesis? Does the author use solid
transitions to guide his/her ideas? Determine, as a reader, how you want to be
presented with the information. Does the organization work for you? Indicate
suggestions for organization and transitions. Also, mark any tangents that you find in
the essay.

The essay maintains a cohesive focus around the thesis, with each paragraph addressing
different aspects of the rhetorical effectiveness of the peer-reviewed article.

Where could the author use more detail to further illustrate his/her claim? Indicate these
places in the text.

The author could use more detail to illustrate the claim further, particularly when
discussing the specific rhetorical strategies employed by the authors of the peer-
reviewed article. Providing specific examples and detailed analysis would enhance the
clarity of the argument.

Are the introduction and conclusion focused on the main point of the essay? Does
the conclusion answer the three questions? (1. Did I do what I said I would do? 2.
Why is this important? 3. What do I want my audience to do with this information?)

The introduction and conclusion are focused on the main point of the essay, with the
introduction setting up the thesis and the conclusion summarizing the main points and
emphasizing the importance of the rhetorical analysis.

Indicate in the text the author’s strengths and weaknesses.

Strengths of the essay include a clear thesis statement, organized structure, and
coherent argumentation. However, weaknesses include the need for more specific
evidence from the peer-reviewed article and stronger transitions between paragraphs.

What three revision suggestions do you have for the writer?

Strengthen the thesis statement by specifying the intended audience and the
significance of the rhetorical analysis.

Provide more specific evidence from the peer-reviewed article, such as direct quotations
or detailed analysis of specific passages.
Improve transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas and clarify the
connection between points.

Indicate in the text where the author needs more details.

Areas where the author needs more details include providing specific examples of the
rhetorical strategies used in the peer-reviewed article and offering a deeper analysis of
how these strategies contribute to its effectiveness.

Indicate in the text where the author needs more evidence.

Nowhere, the essay provide good evidence.

Indicate in the text three places where the author deserves praise for this essay.

The author deserves praise for the clear organization of the essay, including a strong
thesis statement and the coherent argumentation presented throughout the paper.