UPM-CALC/SEM2/2022-23/CEL2107/MATERIAL2

CEL2107
WRITTEN BUSINESS COMMUNICATION
SEMESTER 2, 2022/2023

CLASS MATERIAL 2

WEEK 4 & 5

DIRECTIVE EMAIL WRITING

WEEK 4
• Writing a directive email
• Replacing complex words with simple words
• Using vivid words

WEEK 5
• Applying cohesiveness in directive email
• Avoiding muddling words and phrases
• Reviewing and revising: content, language
and mechanics of directive email

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WEEK 4

DIRECTIVE EMAIL

The purpose of a directive writing is to give official or authoritative instructions as to

allow individuals or companies to complete tasks in an efficient manner. It can be
written in different situations such as giving directions to complete tasks, introducing
or reaffirming new procedures at work, authorising a transfer etc. A directive writing
can be in the form of letters, emails, and memos. As such, the focus of this material
will be specifically on how to write an effective directive email.

Discussion

A. What do you need to consider when writing a directive email?

Activity 1
Based on the following samples, identify the purpose of each email.

Sample 1

New Message
From: Erica Zaki (Erica.zaki@unicorn.com)
To: Sales Team (Team_Sales@unicorn.com)
Cc Bcc: Que Salleh (Quesalleh@unicorn.com)
Subject: Documents Needed for Today’s Sale Urgent Meeting

Hello everyone,

Please bring 4 copies of the following documents for today’s sale urgent meeting at 3.30 p.m.

● Your project timeline

● A one-page progress report
● A list of your next month’s goals
● Copies of any progress report messages you have sent to clients this past month

Your cooperation in this matter is highly appreciated. Thank you.

Regards,
Ericaz
Erica Zaki
Human Resource Manager
Unicorn Inc.

Purpose: To inform the sales team what documents are needed for today’s sale urgent
meeting

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Sample 2

New Message
From: Alex Singh (Alex_s@sapura.com.my)
To: Sapura Staff (Sapura_all staff)
Cc Bcc: Tiara Salim (Tiara.salim@sapura.com.my)
Subject: Changes in work schedule and overtime work

Hello everyone,

Please take note that your hours of work will change beginning in October 2021.

For your information, Sapura is expanding our business hours so that we can have better
communication with customers and vendors on the East Coast. As a result, the workday for all
employees is changing to 8.30 a.m. to 5.30 p.m. With your current 15-minute breaks and 1 hour for
lunch, you will work for 8 hours per day. This is in line with most companies today. The change in
hours is effective beginning Monday, October 2.

In addition, there will be a limit on overtime as well. All employees will be restricted to a maximum of
10 hours of overtime pay period unless they receive written approval from a director ahead of time.

Please contact me or any member of the human resources staff if you have any questions regarding
the new schedule.

Sincerely,
Alex
Alex Singh
Head of Human Resource Department
Sapura Industrial Berhad

Purpose: To inform all Sapura’ staff that there will be a change in working hours.

Sample 3

New Message
From: Kim Tan (Tan.K@gmail.com)
To: Ahmad Luqman (Luqman_A@maybank.com.my)
CC Bcc: Kim Hwang (Hwang_Kim@gmail.com)
Subject: Authorisation letter

Dear Mr. Ahmad Luqman,

I, Kim Tan hereby authorise my brother, Kim Hwang to act on my behalf regarding the checking
account #162243876594 while I am in United Kingdom between the dates of March 1, 2021, and
April 30, 2021.

I appreciate your assistance in this matter.

Sincerely,
Kim Tan
(Kim Tan)

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Purpose: To check an account on someone else’s behalf

Activity 2
Based on the samples of directive emails above, list the general format required in
writing an effective directive email.

1. Subject
2. Greetings
3. Purpose of email
4. Details
5. Call to action
6. Closing

Discussion

A. How can a directive email help in marketing a company’s products?

B. What would be the content of your directive email if you want to instruct the
marketing team to start a marketing campaign?

Activity 3
Revise the following email using the given checklist to make it clear, concise, and
relevant.

New Message
From: Alia Aris (Alia.aris@neslife.com.my)
To: Marketing Team (marketing_team@neslife.com.my)
CC Bcc: Fiona Louise (L_fiona@neslife.com.my)
Subject: Marketing Campaign for the New Programme

Dear Marketing Team,

I am proud to announce that our company will be launching a new programme, The Nutritional
Counselling Programme, virtually and physically on 20 and 21 January 2022.

We believe that this programme will immensely benefit our valued customers in supporting their
fitness journey, which is in line with our company’s vision, that is to lead and support our clients in
their pursuit of a healthy mind, body, and soul.

Therefore, your team are to start working on a marketing campaign by creating an attractive and
informative e-brochure to advertise the Nutritional Counselling Programme. Please ensure that the
e-brochure is appealing to customers by providing clear descriptions on target participants,
objectives, and the benefits. Also, this campaign is expected to take place at The Alamanda Shopping
Mall, Putrajaya on 21 January 2022.

Kindly inform if you need further assistance.

Sincerely,
Alia
Alia Aris
Chief Executive Officer (CEO),

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Neslife Sdn. Bhd.

Checklist
No. Content /
1. Purpose of the email is clearly written /
2. Description of the new product or service /
Creation of e-brochure or e-flyer for products or services by your
3. /
company
4. Distribution plans for the marketing materials /
5. An expected date and venue to launch the campaign /
6. No repetition of information /
7. Concludes with a hope that the campaign would succeed

Revised Email
New Message
From: Alia Aris (Alia.aris@neslife.com.my)
To: Marketing Team (marketing_team@neslife.com.my)
CC Bcc: Fiona Louise (L_fiona@neslife.com.my)
Subject: Marketing Campaign for the New Programme

Dear Marketing Team,

I am proud to announce that our company will be launching a new programme, The Nutritional
Counselling Programme, virtually and physically on 20th and 21st January 2022.

We believe that this programme will immensely benefit our valued customers in supporting their
fitness journey, which is in line with our company’s vision, that is to lead and support our clients in
their pursuit of a healthy mind, body and soul.

Therefore, your team are required to start working on a marketing campaign by creating an attractive
and informative e-brochure to advertise the Nutritional Counselling Programme. Please ensure that
the e-brochure is appealing to customers by providing clear descriptions on target participants,
objectives, and the benefits. Also, this campaign is expected to take place at The Alamanda Shopping
Mall, Putrajaya on 21st January 2022. I really hope to see this campaign as a success from our
collaboration.

Kindly inform if you need further assistance.

Sincerely,
Alia
Alia Aris
Chief Executive Officer (CEO),

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REPLACING COMPLEX WORDS WITH SIMPLE WORDS

It is important to use simple language and familiar words in adapting your message to
your receivers as it can help them to comprehend your ideas quickly. For example,
use ‘pay’ instead of ‘compensate’, ‘question’ instead of ‘interrogate’.

Activity 4
Read the email below and replace the complex words used with simple words to make
them easier to understand.

New Message
From: Karl Faliq Abdullah (Karlfaliq_A@foodielovers.com.my)
To: Marketing Team (marketing_team@foodielovers.com.my)
CC Bcc: Management Team (management_team@foodielovers.com.my)
Subject: Marketing Campaign for the New Product

Dear Foodie Lovers’ Marketing Team,

We are relished to announce the worthy news to all of you about our latest addition which is the
Korean Spicy Burger with Barbeque Sauce. This burger will come in three menu selections of
different combo set such as the following:

Combo A : Korean Spicy Burger with spicy potato chips and preferred soft drink/juice
Combo B : Korean Spicy Burger with onion ring and preferred soft drink/juice
Combo C : Korean Spicy Burger with potato wedges and preferred soft drink/juice

We are profoundly relying on the marketing team to ensure a prosperous campaign of this new
product. Therefore, you are to commence the creation of the e-flyer as soon as possible as the
deadline will be a month from now. The e-brochure should be able to entice our customers with
remarkable images and description, mind blowing introduction prices and arrays of combos.

Furthermore, this campaign will be launched on 28 October 2021 at the IOI City Mall, Putrajaya and
virtually on our website, social media, and advertising websites. We would like to see the progress
within 2 weeks from now in lieu of eleventh-hour meeting. This is to ensure that your team will have
ample time to ameliorate the e-flyer after feedback session with the top management.

Please optimise the team’s creativity wisely to disseminate a plausible e-flyer. Wishing you the best
of luck. Any inquiry regarding this matter can be directed to me and the senior management.

Thank you.

Best Regards,
KFA
Karl Faliq Abdullah
Marketing Manager,
Foodie Lovers Sdn. Bhd.

Complex words Simpler Words

1. Relish Delighted
2. Worthy Decent
3. Selection Options

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4. Prosperous Profitable
5. Profoundly Keen
6. Commence Start
7. Entice Attract
8. Remarkable Wonderful
9. Mind blowing Eye opening
10. Array Bunch
11. In lieu Instead of
12. Ameliorate Improve
13. Optimise Help
14. Disseminate Distribute
15. Plausible Convincing

Activity 5
Rewrite the following common business phrases using simpler and clearer words or
phrases.

E.g. With reference to about

1. At your earliest convenience Urgent
2. In receipt of Received
3. As per our conversation Following our conversation
4. Enclosed please find Please find attached
5. Please do not hesitate to Tell me
6. In accordance with your wishes Correspondingly
7. Thank you in advance Thank you
8. Every effort will be made Make every effort

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VIVID WORDS
Using strong verbs and concrete nouns in your email writing will give receivers more
information and keep them interested. Instead of using ‘to think about the root cause
of the management issue’, be specific by using ‘to identify’, ‘to analyse’, ‘to diagnose’
etc.

Activity 6
Choose the most precise or vigorous words from the parentheses.

1. After (reading, looking at, studying) the report, I realised that the data were (bad,
inadequate, inaccurate).

2. Management is predicting an (change, difference, increase) in earnings after the

first-year implementation of new marketing strategy.

3. Experts (predict, hypothesize, state) that the economy will (change, moderate,
stabilise) by next year due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

4. We plan to (acknowledge, announce, applaud) the work of outstanding employees

annually.

5. There seem to be a certain (confusion, ignorance, hesitation) in the decision made

to determine the new marketing manager.

Imprecise, Dull More Precise

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WEEK 5

COHESIVENESS
Cohesion refers to the degree to which sentences are connected so that the flow of
ideas is logical. Paragraphs are coherent when ideas are linked in which one idea
leads logically to the next. Several techniques that allow the readers to follow your
ideas are repeating key nouns, using consistent pronouns, and showing connections
with transitional signals.

Discussion
Read the following emails. Which one conveys information more completely and
accurately and why?

Email 1

Dear Marketing Team,

We feel that the “extreme” strategy has not been developed fully in the fast-food market. Pizza
Hut is considering launching a new product called The Extreme. The Extreme is a new pizza, the
largest pizza on the market at a selling price of only RM24.99. This largest pizza will comprise of
double the cheese and toppings. Pizza Hut’s plan is to target the X and Y Generations. The same
target audience that would respond to an extreme product would also react to low prices. The X
and Y Generations are the fastest-growing segments in the fast-food market. We are pleased
that these population segments have responded well to other marketing plans using the extreme
strategy.

Email 2

Dear Marketing Team,

Initially, we feel that the “extreme” strategy has not been developed fully in the fast-food market.
Therefore, Pizza Hut is considering launching a new product called The Extreme. The Extreme
is a new pizza, the largest on the market at a selling price of only RM24.99. In addition, this
largest pizza will comprise of double the cheese and toppings.

Moreover, Pizza Hut’s plan is to target the X and Y Generations because the same target
audience that would respond to an extreme product would also react to low prices. In fact, the X
and Y Generations are the fastest-growing segments in the fast-food market. We are pleased
that these population segments have eventually responded well to other marketing plans using
the extreme strategy.

Email 2 contains information that are complete and accurate. There is no error in
capitalization and spelling. Email 2 contains information that is easier to understand
as it helps readers to get to the main point quickly.

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Activity 1
Organise these link words under their respective headings

consequently Subsequently thus formerly

moreover on the other hand furthermore Therefore
so alternatively nevertheless meanwhile
also eventually even so too

Contrast Result Extra information Sequencing in

time
Nevertheless Therefore Too Eventually
On the other hand Consequently Also Meanwhile
Even so Thus Moreover Subsequently
Alternatively So Furthermore Formerly

Activity 2
Fill in the correct contrast link words in the blanks below.

although however nevertheless despite whereas yet

1. Although the issues were important, not many people bothered to vote.
2. Large scale information technology projects are notoriously difficult to control.
However, in the case of building a protective firewall, the company did well.
3. Despite making a record profit last year, the firm has decided to lay off 500
employees.
4. Some cultures prefer meetings to start on time yet others are not bothered about
punctuality.
5. Many women feel that full equity in the workplace has not been achieved.
Nevertheless most will admit that there has been progress over the last 30 years.

AVOIDING MUDDLING WORDS AND PHRASES

Muddling words and phrases happen when a writer accidentally mixes up the initial
sounds or letters of two words in a phrase.

Discussion
Why should we avoid mixing up these muddling words and phrases in directive email
writing?

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Activity 3
Fill in the correct answers for the blanks below.

except accept affect effect all ready already

Dear team members,

I am pleased to inform you that we will start launching our marketing campaign soon on two
of our prominent products. As the marketing manager, I want you to discuss with the team
about the marketing campaign for our newest product, the Rock Melon. All your attention is
needed for this important task (1) except for Miss Aileen who needs to complete the
marketing campaign for the Musang King that will be launched this Saturday. Please (2)
accept this urgent request with an open heart as it can show our diligent commitment to
every task given.

I can ensure you that your other tasks will not be (3) affected as it will be put on hold until
we finish this big launching event. I do anticipate clear and open communication with this
intense deadline, so that everyone is on the same page about objectives, direction, and
expectations. Subsequently, we will build trust working with each other and create only
positive (4) effect in our working environment.

I hope that you are (5)all ready and excited to show me your most creative marketing
campaign for the Rock Melon next week. Also, please be informed that the launching venue
has (6) already been booked at the Malaysia Agriculture, Horticulture and Agritourism
(MAHA).

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REVIEWING AND REVISING SENTENCES

Review is to look generally over a writing piece. Revision is often defined as the last
stage in the writing process (prewriting, writing, and revision). Revising gives students
an opportunity to reflect on what they have written. Students must be able to reflect on
whether their message matches their writing goal to revise a writing conceptually.

Activity 4
With a partner, revise the email below in terms of content, language, and formatting
by using the checklist provided.

Then, write the improved email in the template given.

Share your answers in a Padlet/Putrablast/or other relevant platforms instructed by

your teacher.

New Message
From: lisabdul@medicurve.com.my
To: Marketing Team (marketing_team@medicurve.com.my)
CC Bcc: Management Team (management_team@medicurve.com.my)
Subject: Marketing Campaign for the New N95 Face Mask

This face mask offers effective personal protection from airborne particles and it is designed with a
fitting face seal to ensure minimal leakage around the edges of the respirator when the user inhales.
Additionally, our face masks are approved by NIOSH as they are produced from brand new materials
and handled with stritc protocols.

Therefore your team may start the preparations for the marketing campeign and launching event
from now to give time for the campaign to run in approximately three weeks. Firstly, I would like your
team to create a description write-up for this new product. Next, for the marketing campaign, kindly
determine the distribution plans for the marketing materials such as banner, bunting, and gifts to the
guests as a token of appreciation. Lastly, your team also needs to create and diseminate virtual
advertisements of our new product in the form of e-brochure and e-flyer via our website, social media,
and marketing email to all our potential customers a week before the launching event.

Thank you.

Best Regards,
Allisa Abdul
HR Manager,
Medicurve Sdn. Bhd.

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Checklist
No. Criteria Descriptor Tick
( )
1. Content Purpose of the email is clearly written

Description of the new product or service //

Creation of e-brochure or e-flyer for products or services by

your company
Distribution plans for the marketing materials /

An expected date and venue to launch the campaign /

No repetition of information /

Concludes with a hope that the campaign would succeed

2. Language Use of formal language – clear, concise, and relevant

Correct grammar, punctuation, and spelling

Use of vivid words /

Consistent tenses throughout (present, past and future tense)

3. Formatting From (Name of sender and email address) /

To (Name of receiver and email address) /

Subject /

Electronic signature and Signature block

Salutation

Clear, readable font and font size

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Answer:

New Message
From: Lisa Abdul (lisabdul@medicurve.com.my)
To: Marketing Team (marketing_team@medicurve.com.my)
CC Bcc: Management Team (management_team@medicurve.com.my)
Subject: Marketing Campaign for the New N95 Face Mask

Dear Marketing Team,

I am proud to announce that our company will be launching a new product which is the new N95
Face Mask on 20th May 2023.This face mask offers effective personal protection from airborne
particles as it is designed with a fitting face seal to ensure minimal leakage around the edges of the
respirator when the user inhales. Additionally, our face masks are approved by NIOSH as they are
produced from brand new materials and handled with strict protocols.

Therefore, your team may start the preparations for the marketing campaign and launching event to
give time for the campaign to run in approximately three weeks. Firstly, I would like your team to
create a description write-up for this new product. Next, for the marketing campaign, kindly determine
the distribution plans for the marketing materials such as banner, bunting and gifts to the guests as
a token of appreciation. Lastly, your team also need to create and disseminate virtual advertisements
of our new product in the form of e-brochure and e-flyer via our website, social media, and marketing
email to all our potential customers a week before the launching event. I really hope to see this
campaign as a success from our collaboration.

Kindly inform if you need further assistance.

Thank you.

Best Regards,
LisaAbdul
Allisa Abdul
HR Manager,
Medicurve Sdn. Bhd.

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