The Importance of Assertiveness 55

1. Your company is involved in a labor dispute that, after being

stonewalled by the local union, you take to the state labor board.
This third party will impose a settlement that may please neither
side.
2. You have reached an impasse with the person with whom
you are negotiating a supplier contract. As a longtime supplier,
you’ve always enjoyed an amiable relationship with this company,
and its contracts have always benefited both parties. But the new
purchasing manager seems cut from different cloth. He is being
extremely unreasonable, pressing you so severely on price that you
will be unable to make any money on your sales to his company.
You wonder if this newcomer is trying to impress his boss with his
negotiating toughness at your expense. So you take a drastic step:
You contact his superior and ask, ‘‘as a longtime and reliable sup-
plier to your corporation,’’ that you be allowed to bring in some-
one else to negotiate with you.

噛6: Trade Places with Your Antagonist

One of the most effective ways of diffusing conflict is to get each
party to walk a mile or two in the other person’s shoes. You can do
this through a role-playing exercise in which each party adopts the
other person’s perspective and interests. If done well, this exercise
sensitizes each of the parties to the other’s concerns and helps each
understand the source of conflict.
To use this strategy, ask the other person to (a) write down her
side of the dispute, and (b) write a paragraph in which she de-
scribes your viewpoint—as she understands it. Then, you do the
same. Now, exchange the written information and discuss the dif-
ferences. Once you’ve done that, trade places, with you arguing her
point of view and she arguing yours. This is a powerful exercise
when both parties take it seriously and do their best to represent
the views of the other side.

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