Professional Documents
Culture Documents
The Wall And What To Do About It” (2019). In an article in The Guardian, he quotes
some of things that parents say, and then suggests how to handle them.
So, you’re a teenager, or soon will be. You probably have lots on your mind, and are feeling pretty
stressed thanks to all the expectations and demands you have to deal with. Then there are the
drastic and chaotic changes occurring in your body and brain.
But at least you can rely on your parents to see things your way, to support your decisions, no matter
what. Right? In fact, your teens are usually when you argue with your parents more than ever.
You share the same lives, the same homes, often the same DNA – you might think your parents
should agree with you on practically everything. So why is it so difficult? Much of it is, of course,
down to biology, specifically the differences between your developing brain and your parents’ more
rigid ones. But it’s not hopeless: there are things you can do to get along better.
‘Get up! You’re missing the best part of the day’
Finding it a struggle to get out of bed in the morning? Do you also stay up late at night? Most teens
do – but parents rarely approve of this, accusing you of laziness.
The good news is that you’re not lazy. Far from it. Those biological changes you’re undergoing can
play havoc with typical sleeping patterns, and while adults usually start feeling sleepy at around
10pm, studies suggest that for teens it’s more like 1am. So, for you, trying to go to bed at 9pm is like
your parents going to bed at 6pm. Ludicrous.
Also, you need more sleep because your brain is developing more and working harder. While eight
hours’ sleep may be enough for adults, you might need nine, or more – so as well as getting to bed
later, you need to sleep in later the next morning. It’s biology. Criticising a teen for sleeping too
much is like having a go at someone running a marathon for breathing too hard.
Sadly, school and work start when they start, so opportunities for sleeping in are restricted. But try
explaining some of these biological facts to your parents, and emphasising that insufficient sleep can
affect your school work by obstructing learning and memory, for instance. They may be more willing
to let you have those weekend lie-ins.
You can also help yourself. Regular exercise makes it easier to get to sleep. And after the early
evening, try avoiding stimulating activities such as video games, social media and knocking back
energy drinks – these can keep your brain awake even longer.
‘Stop being so dramatic about everything’
Has there ever been something you think is vitally important, like being at a certain party, or owning
a specific item of clothing, but when you explain this to your parents they just look confused? Or
even laugh?
Come the end of the day, you just want to forget about school. But, no, here come your parents with
questions, nagging and reminders.
Actually, one solution is to give in and just tell them something – anything – about your day.
Opening up about issues can take the edge off them. But do it when you’re ready, on your terms, not
the moment they demand – usually when you’ve just walked through the door.
Finally, remember that underneath the bickering and friction, the unique bond you have with your
parents is still there. One day, you might even be friends again.