Success Criteria:

In your chosen committed relationship dilemma, suggest different ways to cope and
take a stand for what you think would be the right decision in the form of a
campaign.
Using the resilience traits, develop solutions individuals can take to support the 4
dimensions of well-being.
Design a digital tool demonstrating an understanding of a campaign in any one area
of committed relationships.

TSC:

i. explains physical and health education factual, procedural and conceptual

knowledge
ii. applies physical and health education knowledge to analyse complex issues and to
solve complex problems set in familiar and unfamiliar situations
iii. applies physical and health terminology consistently and effectively to
communicate understanding.

Website: https://sites.google.com/oberoi-is.net/health-sa-dillema/home
Dilemmatic situation:

Rima and Allen are 2 high-school juniors studying at Oberoi International School that have
made somewhat of a popular couple amongst their friend groups in their 2+ years of dating.
As the pressure of all their DP classes, extra curricular activities and colleges start to settle,
they talk less and less.

In the midst of these growing gaps between the two, one day, Alan accidentally overhears a
conversation between Rima and her best friend, Emma. Rima exclaims “I can't help it,
Emma. I like him...I don't know what to do.” Faced with multiple different emotions, Alan
rashly decides that Rima likes another boy from their school.

For the next 3 days, Alan overthinks the situation and the fate of his relationship. He
confronts Rima about his suspicions of infidelity as he was feeling betrayed. Rima
reassures him that she was talking about a fictional character in the book she was currently
reading. The 'him' she was referring to was not another boy at school, but a fictional
character. But overwhelmed with all different emotions, Alan does not believe her.

Like many dilemmas in a committed relationship, this is faced by both Alan and Rima.
Alan has to decide whether to trust Rima while she needs to decide whether she can deal
with Alan questioning her about infidelity. Each choice comes with its own set of
consequences, and they both must weigh their options carefully before making a decision.

Dilemma:

1. Classic Dilemma: In a case where all choices are equally desirable or undesirable.
We face such dilemmas most often in our daily lives hence it can be divided into
more specific types of situations.
a. Emotional Dilemma: While solving highly personal dilemmas, we as
humans can get quite emotional. Any choices that specifically affect our
emotional well beings, can be considered as an emotional dilemma. The
above given situation can be an example of this as Alan is navigating
through tough emotions he is not able to manage properly.
b. Social Dilemma: Any dilemmas that can affect society badly but benefit an
individual can be considered as a social dilemma. A very basic example of
this can be using plastic plates and spoons to host a party which would mean
not having to clean up after guests and just disposing of the cutlery but will
be bad for the environment.
c. General Dilemma: Such a dilemma occurs quite often and could be between
the smallest of things such as choosing what flavour of ice cream to buy. For
example if you really want to eat chocolate ice cream but you know the
mango ice cream is seasonal and you will not have as many opportunities to
eat that you have multiple equally desirable options.
2. Ethical Dilemma: An ethical dilemma would be a choice between following rules
strictly or surpassing them in the context of the situation. Generally both options are
 equally undesirable in such a situation but one must think carefully about the rules
like the law. A simple situation of this would be “Should I return a lost wallet full of
money to its owner or keep it for myself, given that I'm in a financial crunch?”
3. Moral Dilemma: Such a dilemma revolves around choosing one moral value over
another. Such a situation also usually has quite unpleasant options to choose from
since you can never do something that is completely correct. The same example of
returning a stranger’s money can be used to represent this dilemma.

As you can gather from the previous example, the same dilemma can be interpreted in
multiple different ways depending on the perspective you look at it from. If you look at it
from the point of you being a good citizen you should return the wallet making this an
ethical dilemma but if you think about the same dilemma from the idea of self-respect vs
survival needs it becomes more of a moral dilemma. Essentially, a dilemma is any tough
decision that needs to be made between multiple choices that are equally fruitful for the
decision-maker.

From our perspectives, the chosen dilemma is actually an emotional dilemma being faced
by both members of the relationship. We think so since both of them are going through
multiple different emotions during this situation playing out. Alan might have felt lied to,
betrayed, angry, sad, etc… While in the same scenario, Rima might have felt untrustworthy,
frustrated, annoyed, sad, angry, etc…

Solutions

From the Point of View of Alan, write about this potential solution for this dilemma in
detail. First start off with discussing the solution using the 7 resilience traits (Insight,
Humour, Morality, Independence, Relationships, Creativity, Initiative) and how they are
reflected in the creation and outcomes of the situation. Only choose the relevant traits for
each solution. Then discuss at least 4-5 risks that this solution might possess in detail.
Then talk about the impact of this solution on all 4 well beings (physical, social,
intellectual, mental/emotional) of Alan by discussing both positives and negatives.

Alan:

1. Trusting and believing Rima’s initial explanation

After such a scare in their relationship it would take a lot of courage for Alan to start
trusting Rima again without any other clarifications about the issue. This would require for
him to forgive her maturely based on previously built trust. He could insightfully
understand his own reaction and emotions to sort out the misunderstanding with him alone.
He could also take insights from the past to understand Rima’s behaviour in their
relationship and understand how much he might mean to her. Trusting her would also help
to strengthen their relationship and maybe even close the gap they had started to develop.
Going with this solution might signal to Rima how much Alan cares about her and their
bond which can enhance their relationship and understanding. It would also show his robust
sense of morality as it helps to show he believes in the foundations of the relationship like
honesty and trust. It also shows resilient behaviour on his part as it shows a strong initiative
by facing all problems head on instead of cowering away from them.

Risks:

a. Misplaced Trust:
While it might be unlikely, it is possible that Alan’s suspicions were actually true and there
is in fact someone else that Rima has feelings for. In such a scenario it can lead to even
further damage to the situation and especially Alan’s trust. This can easily throw him off
trusting people around him for a while since he had to commit to this solution and still get
his heart broken.

b. Repeating Pattern:

By just blindly trusting Rima again might lead to future misunderstanding like this one
since they will not be able to express themselves clearly to each other and understand the
root of this problem to find a permanent solution to it. This might lead to them again facing
similar problems that might pile on over time and have additional effects adding to the
misunderstanding and mistrust.

c. Suppression of Feelings:

Since Rima and Alan will not get a proper chance to talk to each other about this
misunderstanding they might not get to clear the whole situation out properly which might
lead to them not completely knowing each other's opinions and feelings about the matter
leading to hiding feelings. It might increase the level of insecurity amongst the two of them
which might affect their relationship later on.

d. Avoidance of Communication:

Blindly giving up his trust again might become a pattern which is not healthy since the
communication gap between the two of them will further increase and might become a
trend in their relationship. This is bad for the relationship long term since they will not be
able to understand each other's concerns equally and appropriately.

2. Confronting Rima in order to gain closure and clarity

Insight: The decision to seek clarification from Rima shows Alan's ability to look beyond
his initial emotional reaction and explore alternate routes to understanding the situation. He
is able to identify that Rima, as Rima's best friend, may have additional context that could
help him gain clarity.

Relationships: By seeking Rima's help, Alan could potentially strengthen his overall social
relationships. It could show his peers that he is open to seeking advice and does not let
pride get in the way of his relationships.

Initiative: Choosing to speak to Rima also shows Alan's initiative. He's not sitting back and
letting his thoughts stew; instead, he is actively trying to find solutions and get to the
bottom of his worries.

Creativity: Opting to involve a third party in a largely bilateral issue also shows a degree of
creative problem-solving on Alan's part. Instead of restricting himself to traditional avenues
of resolving misunderstandings, he is trying different solutions.

Risks:

Further Misunderstandings: There is a risk that speaking to Rima may lead to further
misunderstandings, especially if Rima has a different perception of the situation or doesn't
provide clear answers.

Invasion of Privacy: By involving Rima, Alan might be seen as invading Rima's privacy,
which can cause strain in their relationship and possibly in his relationship with Rima.

Conflicting Narratives: Rima might give a different interpretation of the conversation she
had with Rima, which could cause more confusion and doubt for Alan.

Hurt Feelings: Depending on Rima’s reaction, Alan might end up feeling more hurt or
betrayed, particularly if Rima reacts defensively or negatively.

Well-being Impact:

Physical: Alan's stress might be alleviated or intensified depending on the outcome of the
conversation with Rima. A positive resolution can reduce physical symptoms of stress like
sleeplessness or loss of appetite.

Social: Alan's social well-being can be positively affected if the situation is resolved
amicably. However, if the confrontation leads to conflict or tension, his social relations
might suffer.

Intellectual: Confronting Rima can be a significant intellectual challenge for Alan. It

requires him to consider different perspectives and question his own assumptions.

Mental/Emotional: Alan might experience immediate emotional relief if Rima provides

clear and reassuring answers. However, this solution might also increase his emotional
stress if the conversation does not go as planned. Alan also needs to prepare himself for any
potential outcome, including the possibility that his worst fears might be confirmed. This
emotional resilience would be key in handling this situation.

3. Breaking off the relationship due to his trust being broken

Now while this is a solution that has its own reasons for being an option such as the fact
that, although they are together both Rima and Alan felt a certain pressure that came with
being together now in DP while trying to balance out classes etc. Breaking up can price
them with the space and time to feel free and able to continue on in DP while also
providing them with the chance to leave the relationship if they are feeling held down by it.
On the other hand, the problems they are facing could also just be contributed to the
academic stress they both are facing and staying together may be the right decision at the
end of it all once the pressure reduces. Breaking off the relationship due to his feeling
betrayed is a slightly harsh action for a problem that could have a simpler solution. If they
break up there are chances that the stress and pressure of breaking up could get worse for
him and her.

Rima (Not explored further):

1. Ending the relationship between them by standing up for herself

2. Sympathising with Alan and reassuring him until he understands
3. Stop talking to Emma about her feelings in general and stop reading such books
Negative impact on both their well beings
Well-Being Impact On Alan
Physical Well-Being Alan's mental health is likely
to be negatively affected by
the dilemma. The constant
overthinking and suspicion
can lead to heightened levels
of stress, anxiety, and even
feelings of insecurity. He may
find it difficult to concentrate
on his schoolwork or engage
in activities he once enjoyed.
Alan might also experience
self-doubt and a decrease in
self-esteem as he questions
the trust in his relationship.
The emotional turmoil can
leave him feeling mentally
exhausted, which can further
impact his overall mental
well-being.
Mental Well-Being Alan's mental health is likely
to be negatively affected by
the dilemma. The constant
overthinking and suspicion
can lead to heightened levels
of stress, anxiety, and even
feelings of insecurity. He may
find it difficult to concentrate
on his schoolwork or engage
in activities he once enjoyed.
Impact On Rima
The dilemma between Alan
and Rima can have various
impacts on Rima's physical
well-being. The stress and
emotional turmoil caused by
the growing gaps in their
relationship, coupled with
Alan's suspicions of infidelity,
can lead to physical
manifestations of anxiety.
Rima may experience
disrupted sleep patterns, loss
of appetite, or even
stomachaches and headaches.
The constant overthinking
and questioning of her loyalty
may cause her to feel
physically drained and
fatigued. The lack of
communication and
emotional support from Alan
can also lead to feelings of
isolation and loneliness,
further impacting her overall
physical health.
Rima's mental wellbeing can
be significantly affected by
the dilemma she faces with
Alan. The increasing pressure
of their academic workload,
extracurricular activities, and
college applications,
combined with the emotional
strain of their fading
connection, can result in
 Alan might also experience
self-doubt and a decrease in
self-esteem as he questions
the trust in his relationship.
The emotional turmoil can
leave him feeling mentally
exhausted, which can further
impact his overall mental
well-being.
Intellectual Well-Being The dilemma may have
intellectual consequences for
Alan. The preoccupation with
the situation and the resulting
overthinking can distract him
from his academic pursuits.
Alan might find it challenging
to focus and retain
information, leading to a
decline in his performance in
his DP classes. The emotional
distress caused by mistrust
and suspicion can also hinder
his ability to think critically
and solve problems
effectively. This intellectual
strain can have long-term
consequences if not addressed
promptly.
heightened anxiety and stress
for Rima. She may constantly
question herself, her feelings,
and her ability to maintain a
healthy relationship. The
uncertainty and doubt caused
by Alan's suspicions can lead
to feelings of insecurity and
self-doubt. Rima may
experience mood swings,
difficulty concentrating on
her studies, and a general
decline in her mental
resilience.
The dilemma between Alan
and Rima can impact Rima's
intellectual well-being as
well. The constant
preoccupation with their
relationship issues and Alan's
mistrust can be a significant
distraction for Rima. It may
impede her ability to focus on
her academics and
extracurricular activities,
causing a decline in her
overall intellectual
performance. Rima's mind
may be occupied with
thoughts of the dilemma,
making it difficult for her to
engage fully in her studies
and pursue her intellectual
interests. The emotional
turmoil and constant
questioning of her loyalty can
also hinder her creativity and
problem-solving abilities.
Social Well-being The dilemma can affect
Alan's social interactions and
overall social well-being. His
constant questioning of
Rima's fidelity may create
tension and mistrust between
them, potentially leading to
arguments and conflicts. Alan
might become withdrawn
from his friend groups as he
tries to navigate his emotions
and seek validation for his
suspicions. The strain on his
relationship with Rima can
also affect their mutual
friends, as they may feel
caught in the middle or
unsure of how to support both
parties. Alan's social life may
suffer as he grapples with the
dilemma, potentially leading
to feelings of isolation or
detachment from his usual
social circles.
The dilemma between Alan
and Rima can have significant
implications for Rima's social
well-being. As the
communication between the
couple diminishes, Rima may
start to feel disconnected
from her partner and their
mutual friends. The growing
gaps in their relationship may
cause Rima to withdraw
socially, leading to a sense of
isolation and loneliness. The
doubts and suspicions raised
by Alan can also strain
Rima's relationships with her
friends, as she may feel the
need to defend herself or
explain the situation to them.
The emotional stress and
turmoil can make it
challenging for Rima to
engage in social activities or
maintain a healthy social life,
impacting her overall sense of
belonging and support.