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Machiavelli for Women

Defend Your Worth, Grow Your Ambition, and Win the Workplace
Stacey Vanek Smith • From MACHIAVELLI FOR WOMEN: Defend Your
Worth, Grow Your Ambition, and Win the Workplace by Stacey Vanek
Smith. Copyright © 2021 by Stacey Vanek Smith. Reprinted by permission
of Gallery Books, a Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc. • 288 pages

Women in Business / Gender Pay Gap

Women in Business / Women’s Careers
Society / Feminism

Take-Aways
• Machiavelli wrote The Prince 500 years ago, but his sharp insights into people and power are useful
today for working women.
• The gender pay gap reflects persistent discrimination against women.
• Confidence proves a more significant factor in a woman’s success than competence.
• Leaders regard women as “low status” and don’t give their work, ideas or thoughts the same respect they
give those of their male colleagues.
• Women – especially women of color – suffer from a lack of mentors at work.
• Organizations view men as more competent despite evidence of the higher qualifications of their female
counterparts.
• Working women with children receive diminished earnings, increased criticism, slower promotions and
less important assignments.
• Sometimes the enemy to a woman’s progress is another woman.
• If you hit an unshatterable glass ceiling, assess your options and consider a more independent path.
• Your organization will remain forever pleased with you doing your current job at your current salary.
Know your worth and ask for what you need.

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 Recommendation
While other philosophers, such as Rousseau, wrote in soaring prose about the virtues of noble and civilized
humanity, Niccolò Machiavelli wrote – 500 years ago – about politics and human treachery. Author Stacey
Vanek Smith updates ruthless strategic advice from Machiavelli’s The Prince for women navigating the
cutthroat landscape of the male-dominated workplace and seeking to defend or even expand their territory.
She packs her book with practical, actionable guidance. Smith is candid about the obstacles women face
and equally realistic about the best ways for women to fight past the barricades to survive and thrive while
building a career they love.

Summary

Machiavelli wrote The Prince 500 years ago, but his sharp insights into people and
power are useful today for working women.

Machiavelli, who sought to understand how princes get and maintain power, divided them into two
categories: Those who inherit their kingdoms and those who acquire kingdoms through conquest. Those
who inherit their power and place have a cushy life. Their subjects accept them. They have to be very bad
at ruling to lose their positions. White men with college degrees are today’s “inheriting princes of the
workplace.”

“If a man is a prince, he is a model citizen, a cut above the rest, and everybody wants a
piece of him. If a woman is a princess, she is difficult, entitled, demanding.”

Working women are like Machiavelli’s “conquering princes.” Their place is more precarious, and their
subordinates are more skeptical of their abilities. They rarely get to set the agenda, and companies often
relegate them to support roles.

Women at work often find themselves in one of these negative scenarios:

• “Cinderella Syndrome” – Cinderella’s stepmother – the boss – tells her she can go to the ball if she
completes an impossible list of chores. Cinderella thinks she has a chance, but she doesn’t really, by
design. Men achieve promotions based on their potential, while women must accomplish a lot before
they can move up.
• Career “Hotbox” – Confirmation bias reinforces the notion that any good guy is also a good leader. Yet
social expectations that a woman should be kind, helpful and generous, but a leader should be aggressive
and ambitious put women in a contradictory dilemma. Most people tend to dislike an aggressive,
ambitious woman. Behind the scenes, her firm may welcome her effectiveness, but most will most often
systematically underpay and overload her with low-profile work. The Hotbox is even more of a trap for
women of color and LGBTQ+ people, because they must work constantly against often unconscious
racism and discrimination as well as sexism. Offering cold comfort, Machiavelli says struggling makes
you stronger.

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 The gender pay gap reflects persistent discrimination against women.

Companies express value through salary. Paying women less indicates valuing women less. Women are less
likely to negotiate for better salaries when hired, and men are more aware of their market value. Society
teaches women to avoid conflict, but encourages men to embrace it. Women face a penalty – and men don’t
– when they ask for what they want in the first place.

“If you are a lady on Earth and you work for a company run by Earthlings, you
are almost certainly underpaid. And the best thing you can do for yourself and for
womankind is to fight to be paid as much as possible.”

Luckily, women can learn to negotiate. Ask for more, but in a way that won’t backfire: Don’t brag or issue
ultimatums. These tactics work for men, but not women. Know your market value. List other benefits you
want, such as vacation time or career training. Show gratitude. Be likable and collaborative. People will
assume you have those traits if you smile a lot. Staying positive about your work will strike the right note of
congeniality. Show leaders how complying with your requests aligns with their goals.

Confidence proves a more significant factor in a woman’s success than competence.

Men are about twice as confident as women. In one study, men and women had to complete a task and then
pay themselves for it. Men paid themselves at a rate 63% higher than women paid themselves, though the
men did a less competent job. Men nominate themselves for jobs they’re 60% qualified for, while women
wait until they feel 100% qualified.

“Confident people act. People who lack confidence waffle.”

Assuming equal competence, the more confident person – male or female – appears more competent.
Inaction stemming from lack of confidence sabotages women’s careers. Women often undermine themselves
with paralyzing perfectionism. Understand that the perfect moment will never arrive; go ahead and act
now. Start daunting tasks by chipping away at the easier parts first. Prepare for pushback as you become
more confident. Guard against arrogance (which works for men but not for women.) To negotiate your
salary as a woman in the workplace, determine your fair compensation and add 10% to your ask. Request
small things at first to build your confidence.

Leaders regard women as “low status” and don’t give their work, ideas or
thoughts the same respect they give those of their male colleagues.

When men are in meetings with no women present, they don’t interrupt one another. In mixed-gender
settings, however, men interrupt women, talk over them and dismiss their ideas. Women interrupt other
women more than they interrupt men. Groups tend to ignore a woman’s idea, but to accept the same
concept when a man offers it. This gender imbalance is not your fault, and defending inclusive practices is
not the sole responsibility of women. However, be aware that being direct will backfire.

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 Women who worked in the Obama White House solved this problem. They agreed that when a woman
brought up an idea, another woman would restate it and praise it. Then, a third woman would add to it. In
this way, the group made sure each member’s ideas were, “said, repeated, supported and amplified.”

Despite the #MeToo movement, sexual harassment is alive and well, but it is seldom about sex. Sexual
harassment is a power play to downgrade women. Environments in which such remarks are common erode
people’s confidence. And, in such settings, LGBTQ+ employees also find they must frequently fend off jokes
and sexual innuendo.

If you’re the target of harassment, keep a careful record. Make the act of harassing you unpleasant and
troublesome, but don’t blame yourself if you craft an imperfect response. Make your would-be harasser
think twice. Consult with a lawyer; often first consultations are free. If you witness harassment, say
something; don’t let your silence normalize bad treatment.

Women – especially women of color – suffer from a lack of mentors at work.

When male and female faculty members evaluated identical resumes for an internship – one labeled as
being from John and one from Jennifer – they most often wanted to mentor John. People who have mentors
gain more promotions and higher pay, and they are happier at work. People like to mentor those who
remind them of their earlier selves. Many men are uncomfortable mentoring women, and are fearful of
#MeToo accusations. This limits women’s opportunities. Actively seek mentors. Email potential mentors to
ask for a meeting to talk about your career. Keep mentoring conversations strictly professional.

“Mentors are your wilderness guides for the workplace. Having a diversity of
experiences and advice to help you navigate the professional wilds will always serve you
well.”

Don’t be shy about asking for advice, though what worked for your mentor may not be right for you. In turn,
find someone junior to advise. A network of allies, Machiavelli assured princes, makes success possible.

Organizations view men as more competent despite evidence of the higher

qualifications of their female counterparts.

Women tend to get more critical feedback in their evaluations than men receive in theirs. While personality
came up as a factor in 2% of the job evaluations for men in a 2014 study, managers mentioned personality
in 75% of women’s reviews. Ask for candid feedback, then listen dispassionately. Taking notes encourages
candor. Will some feedback be irrelevant and even offensive? Yes, but you need that information because
it reflects how your evaluator and your organization regard you. If something is factually incorrect, work to
fix the record. Plan the steps you need to take to achieve your goals. Be aware that organizations often herd
women into supportive roles.

“Office homework…a necessary task that will drain your time and life force and will not
help get you where you want to go…[is] the opposite of so-called glamour work: the work
that will get you promoted.”

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 You must pay your dues, but people generally quit asking men to attend to office housework at some
point. Don’t volunteer for chores. If you get stuck, “Do it once. Do it graciously,” but avoid it in the future
– possibly by setting up a job rotation. Be bad at the jobs you don’t want to do.

Working women with children receive diminished earnings, increased criticism,

slower promotions and less important assignments.

Discrimination against moms causes women to leave the workforce. Companies offer moms an average of
$11,000 less annually for starting jobs than they offer non-moms for the same work. Some companies offer
accommodating flextime, but that can “ghettoize mothers into obsolescence.” Workplaces without flextime
often pay more and promote faster.

“All the research shows that this is a pivotal moment in your career. All eyes are on you;
people are dying to shoo you into the mommy Hotbox.”

Don’t talk about your kids at work. The more you mention your new baby, the more others see you baking
cookies instead of leading a big project. Yes, this is “messed-up,” but that’s why women need Machiavelli.

Sometimes the enemy to a woman’s progress is another woman.

Another woman who blocks your path may quite rationally understand that – because of tokenism – few
slots at the top are available for women. That makes you her real competition. If she targets you, keep a
record of her actions.

“Dealing with a Highlander early is a good idea, because she will not back down if she
senses weakness, and she can be vicious and relentless.”

Recognize and neutralize “dark art practitioners”:

• “The Highlander” – These women believe only one woman can make it to the top. They pick on other
women. Don’t be intimidated. Tell the Highlander you want her feedback. If she’s your boss, throw in
some flattery. Be genuine, so she can’t sense your fear. When she realizes her snide remarks lead to long,
sincere discussions about your career, she will find treating you badly less appealing.
• “The Queen of Hearts” – Outwardly energetic, self-assured and charming but inwardly selfish
and insecure, these princesses view others as useful subjects, not colleagues. She’ll undermine
your confidence. Take heart, though, she’ll likely flame out.
• “Machiavellianne” – Machiavellianists are experts at manipulation. Machiavelliannes can and will use
whatever you say against you. They savage you in private while fawning on you in public. Don’t confide in
or spend time alone with anyone this harmful. Keep your public interests aligned with hers.
• “Darth Mentor/Darth Manager” – If your workplace nemesis is your mentor or your boss, she may
believe you owe her fealty – or more. Older women who navigated a lot of discrimination may expect you
to put up with it, too. Call on your network for support.

Be professional in all your dealings at work. Never disparage your mentor or manager. Discuss your career
decisions without emotion and emphasize your integrity.

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 If you hit an unshatterable glass ceiling, assess your options and consider a
more independent path.

Don’t waste your time in perpetual combat. When Neha Narkhede – founder of Confluent, a data-streaming
technology with a $4.5 billion valuation – felt thwarted in her career, she asked for feedback about how
to turn rejections into acceptance. If her boss couldn’t be specific about why she was facing so many turn
downs, Narkhede knew she was at the wrong firm. When her boss did give her specifics, she worked hard
to accomplish them, and then went back to request a raise or promotion. Usually, she got one or both. But
if Narkhede’s boss only came up with another to-do list, she knew she faced a dead end. Had Narkhede not
forged her own path, she would never have built a company worth billions.

“If that workplace is never going to send you to the ball, don’t keep waxing their floors.”

Rather than obsessing about your investment in the status quo, consider whether your firm has the potential
to offer what you want. Does it have any leaders from your demographic background? Do the upper ranks
include female leaders? Before you leave, check for any unexplored opportunities. Perhaps, instead of going
out on your own, you can fulfill a need by creating events or an organization within your profession.

Your organization will remain forever pleased with you doing your current job at your
current salary. Know your worth and ask for what you need.

Find out how much money people make in the position you want based on an industry average. Ask the
people in your network, especially men, for a typical salary range for that role. Clarify what you want,
including money, title and resources. Remain flexible. Consider the company’s perspective. Frame your
requests to align with its goals. Have a few win-win scenarios. Prepare for success and failure. Never discuss
your previous salary.

“The concessions people make early on in a negotiation are typically the biggest. It’s
important that you keep your aspirations and goals high.”

Even if you don’t get all you want, you still become a winner by virtue of stepping into the arena. Focus on
starting a dialogue you can complete later, building relationships and getting useful feedback. Hopefully, as
women gain their due financially and in terms of power, they will turn the tide of discrimination and create a
more joyful, creative and supportive workplace.

About the Author

Stacey Vanek Smith cohosts National Public Radio’s business and economics podcast The Indicator
from Planet Money.

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