1. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it!

2. I'm friends with all electricians. We have such great current connections.
3. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
4. I told my wife she was overreacting. She just rolled her eyes at me.
5. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? There was nothing left but de-brie.
6. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
7. What's brown and sticky? A stick.
8. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
9. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
10. What did one wall say to the other wall? "I'll meet you at the corner."
11. How do you organize a space party? You "planet"!
12. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.
13. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
14. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite.
15. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
16. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
17. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
18. Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.
19. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
20. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
21. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
22. How do you organize a space party? You "planet"!
23. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
24. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
25. Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at
nothing to avoid them.
26. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
27. Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician? Because he was outstanding in his
field!

Enjoy the laughter!