You Only Want Me When I'm Taken

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/50116879.

Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV)
Relationship: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Eddie Diaz/Shannon Diaz
(9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Taylor Kelly, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Ali
Martin, Eddie Diaz/Ana Flores (9-1-1 TV), Eddie Diaz/Marisol (9-1-1
TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Natalia Dollenmeyer
Character: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Howie "Chimney" Han,
Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Athena Grant, Karen Wilson, Maddie Buckley,
Bobby Nash, Natalia Dollenmeyer, Marisol (9-1-1 TV), Ali Martin (9-1-1
TV), Shannon Diaz, Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Ana Flores (9-1-1 TV)
Additional Tags: Cheating, darkangel2792's Buddie One Word Challenge 2023, Evan
"Buck" Buckley and Eddie Diaz Being Idiots, Established Evan "Buck"
Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz Angst, Hurt Evan
"Buck" Buckley, Bisexual Evan "Buck" Buckley, Bisexual Eddie Diaz (9-
1-1 TV), Mild Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Buck forgives too
easily, Don't Examine This Too Closely, Infidelity, Affairs, Evan "Buck"
Buckley and Eddie Diaz Are In Love, Christopher Diaz is a National
Treasure, Christopher Diaz Has Two Dads, Eddie Diaz Can't Commit,
Evan "Buck" Buckley Deserves Better, Evan "Buck" Buckley Has
ADHD, Evan "Buck" Buckley Needs A Hug
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2023-09-16 Words: 12,837 Chapters: 1/1

You Only Want Me When I'm Taken

by Hopeless_fangirl65

Summary

"Everything was just so easy. And it felt oh, so right. It started in the beautiful rooms of the
118, working well together as partners, before it ended up being meetings in dim parking
lots as lovers. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. It wasn't supposed to be secret, but
Shannon came back into the picture right as Buck and Eddie were about to fall on the same
page. It wasn't like Eddie could turn Shannon away. She was Christopher's mother. Buck
was just Buck. So it was on the downlow for as long as it could be. Because Eddie couldn't
choose who he wanted more. The mother of his child or the man whom he fell for—it just
means Bucks gets to have Eddie in his apartment or in dim parking lots for date night
without anyone from work or their personal lives finding out. It was easy to pretend that he
wasn't in love with Eddie in front of others because Eddie did the same, and it always ended
up getting more love from him the next time they were alone."

OR
 Buck and Eddie are in love, the catch? They're not supposed to be. And it keeps happening.
Over and Over again until one of them can't take it anymore.

Notes

The title is from Taken by One Direction (Though fic was inspired by Illicit Affairs by
Taylor Swift. IDK)

I absolutely hate this garbage, but it's whatever LMAO, I wanted to participate in the
Buddie One Word Challenge and the deadline was next week. Soo.... if you like it great, if
not, just know that I don't either, I just wanted to write a Cheating Buddie fic.

Everything was just so easy. And it felt oh, so right. It started in the beautiful rooms of the 118,
working well together as partners, before it ended up being meetings in dim parking lots as lovers.
It wasn't supposed to happen like this. It wasn't supposed to be secret, but Shannon came back into
the picture right as Buck and Eddie were about to fall on the same page. It wasn't like Eddie could
turn Shannon away. She was Christopher's mother. Buck was just Buck. So it was on the downlow
for as long as it could be. Because Eddie couldn't choose who he wanted more. The mother of his
child or the man whom he fell for—it just means Bucks gets to have Eddie in his apartment or in
dim parking lots for date night without anyone from work or their personal lives finding out. It was
easy to pretend that he wasn't in love with Eddie in front of others because Eddie did the same, and
it always ended up getting more love from him the next time they were alone.

Buck was gasping softly as Eddie's lips trailed down his neck, leaving behind wet kisses, before he
pulled Eddie back against his lips, needing to taste him again. Eddie gladly kissed him back. Buck's
fingers tangled into the fluffy black locks of his hair, just keeping him against his mouth as their
tongues tangled. Every touch, every kiss, only deepened Buck's love for the man in his arms. They
were lost in each other, consumed by the intensity of their connection. Eddie's phone was ringing.
It was Shannon's ringtone that Eddie had set for her. He pulled away slowly. "Let it ring, Eds."
Buck panted out. Eddie looked over at his phone on Buck's charger. "Baby, I can't. She's my wife.
Something could be going on with Chris." Buck looked away from Eddie's face. He understood
that wife and son came before their illicit affair. Eddie answered the phone as Buck watched the
man before him. He admired every inch of Eddie's toned and well-sculpted body. the light stubble
on his chin and the tassled hair from their makeout on his couch. He really was a beautiful man.
Inside and out. But Buck knew that he couldn't ask Eddie to choose between him and his family.
He had always been the understanding one, the one who supported Eddie through thick and thin.
As Eddie finished the call and turned back to Buck, he could see the conflict in his eyes. "I need
you, Buck," Eddie whispered, his voice filled with longing. Buck reached out and gently cupped
Eddie's face, his heart aching at the pain in his eyes. "I know, Eddie," Buck replied softly. "But we
both know that right now, your family needs you more."

Eddie smashed their lips together again, needing to taste Buck on his tongue before he had to go.
"Besides, Ali's supposed to come over anyway." Buck said, looking at him. He didn't rightly care
for Ali, but she was his cover in case people started to ask questions, and he couldn't answer
without exposing Eddie. And Ali was a nice enough girl, hot as hell, but she wasn't Eddie. She was
just a bedwarmer and okay enough company.

Both of them were dressed and walking to Buck's door. Eddie was about to leave when he turned
around. "You know that I love you, Evan?" Buck looked at Eddie. "Yes. I do. I love you too,
Eds."Buck said it sincerely. There were so many unspoken words—words that couldn't be said.
Words that would end in heartbreak for all parties involved. Wives, girlfriends, sons, and adulterers
included

Buck knew that Eddie knew about the unspoken words; it was best to leave them unsaid. Eddie
kissed Buck again. "I love you..." They said it in unison. And they reluctantly pulled away. Buck
stood there as Eddie finally turned and left. He sighed, leaned against his door, slid down the back
of it, and cried to himself. There was no harm in letting yourself feel the disappointment of not
being a priority. But Shannon and Chris come first.

It was difficult to sit next to Christopher, across from Shannon and Eddie. But Buck managed to do
it with a fake smile and look away every time Shannon kissed Eddie. It stung watching Eddie kiss
her back, so he'd turn his attention to the amazing little boy next to him, who brought out the real
smiles and laughter from Buck.

"So, Buck How are things with Ali, right?" Shannon asked as she gently put her fork of pasta into
her mouth. Buck looked at Shannon's kind smile. She was beautiful too, with her kind, warm green
eyes. Buck understood why Eddie loved her. Buck shrugged and said, "Eh, she's not my forever
love. But I guess we're good right now." Buck nodded. "I'm more focused on my job to fill the
loneliness of her job since she's rarely here. I mean, sometimes it's like I'm a bedwarmer for her,
but you know. It's nice to have companionship, I guess." Buck felt awkward talking about his
girlfriend when all he could feel was guilt. Shannon was a kind and funny woman, and Buck found
himself becoming friends with her, which increased his guilt tenfold. Because the more he got to
know her, the more he grew to like her, and the more guilt ate him, he knew what Eddie looked
and sounded like when he was orgasming for Buck. How his face scrunched up, the swallowed
moans, the grunts when it's his turn to be on top, the thickness of his southern accent when he's
praising Buck—he knew it all. And Shannon was none the wiser.

Despite his growing guilt, Buck couldn't bring himself to distance himself from Shannon. He found
solace in their friendship, enjoying their conversations and sharing laughter. However, every time
he saw Shannon's smile, he couldn't help but be reminded of the secret he carried—the hidden truth
that threatened to consume him. As the days went by, Buck struggled to reconcile his conflicting
emotions, torn between the bond he was forming with Shannon and the weight of his betrayal
towards Eddie.
He was laying against Eddie's chest, tracing random shapes and letters with the tips of his fingers.
"Eddie, I don't know if I can keep doing this," Buck whispered one night. His voice trembled,
betraying the turmoil within his heart. Eddie held him tighter, his embrace providing a fleeting
moment of comfort amidst the storm. "Shannon's an amazing woman and mother... I really enjoy
spending time with her, but I can't. Baby, I feel like the world's worst person when I'm with her.
I'm sleeping and messing around with a married man, who might be a father of two soon." Buck
said softly.

"Shannon's not pregnant." Eddie said softly. "And... she, uh, asked for a divorce." Eddie cleared his
throat. Buck straightened up. "She what?" He sat up and looked at Eddie. "Why?" he asked. Did
she find out that they were secretly together? Anxiety ate at him. He was going to lose his friend.

"Don't worry, Buck, she doesn't know about you. She said that the pregnancy scare was a wake-up
call for her and that we're better off being coparents and friends than spouses. Buck, I was a really
bad husband... I wasn't there. And my parents broke her. I broke her. I was hoping that we could fix
it. But if she wants out of our marriage, I'll give it to her. I'm sure it's going to hurt." Eddie
mumbled, "But I'll at least have you help pick up the pieces, right?" Eddie said, pulling Buck's lips
down to his and kissing him.

Buck immediately kissed him back. "So... we wouldn't be cheating anymore?" Buck asked. Eddie
smiled softly and shook his head. "No, we wouldn't. We would be taking a step towards finding
happiness again, for both of us. We deserve that, don't we?" Buck nodded, tears welling up in his
eyes. And for the first time since this happened, Buck felt hope.

It all went crashing down the very next day when they were on a call. A woman had been hit by a
car. Buck immediately saw who it was before Eddie did. He tried to stop Eddie to protect him. But
that furthered Eddie's suspicions. He pushed Buck off and ran over to the scene. "Ed-Eddie wait!"
Buck cried before Eddie stopped. It was Shannon. Eddie's focus immediately went to comforting
her. Chimney and Hen were working on her. "There's a chance that once the tube is in, it's not
coming back out." Buck knew that Shannon was dying. He knew that Eddie knew she was dying.
Eddie went into the back of the ambulance with her, where she would say her last words to Eddie.

It was harder for Buck to stand on the sidelines watching as Eddie's parents attempted to convince,
really coerce, Eddie to move him and Christopher back home because Eddie was once again a
single father and a firefighter, and Christopher needs more support. Eddie was drowning.
Christopher was drowning. Buck was drowning.

"Mr. and Mrs. Diaz, with all due respect, shut the fuck up." Buck said, looking at Eddie's parents.
Eddie's head shot up quickly from his hands. "Eddie just lost his wife. Christopher just lost his
mother. Have some fucking decency and let them actually process their fucking loss! You don't get
to call Eddie a selfish man when he in fact lost his wife and the mother of his child!" Buck
snapped. "Give him some fucking time to grieve!"
Helena and Ramon were shocked. "And for the record, they have a support system; they have me,
they have Carla, they have the 118, they have Maddie, they have Isabel, they have Pepa, and they
have each other. Just let them take a breath for a second." They tried to fight back before Pepa
opened the door and Isabel ushered them in, muttering and shaming them in quick, hushed Spanish.
Before Eddie broke down sobbing. Buck immediately sat down next to him, pulling him into his
arms and letting him break down against him. "It's okay, I'm here... I've got you. Let it out."

Buck ended up temporarily moving into the Diaz household to offer support and to help with
Christopher until Eddie's bereavement leave ends. Bobby gave the same leave to Buck, so Eddie
would have support. Eddie stayed in his room for the first few days, and Buck watched, played,
and interacted with Christopher; he was still just too young to fully understand death. But Buck
knew that he had noticed that Eddie had retreated. "Dad's really sad, isn't he?" Christopher had said
when Buck tucked him in.

"Yeah, he is, kiddo." Buck sighed. "But it's normal when someone you love goes to heaven." Buck
isn't sure about the possibility of there being a heaven, but he'd like there to be one. But
Christopher was young. He needed to have some hope that his mom was in heaven. "Mom's still
here," he said, pointing to his heart. "That's what Tia Pepa said; she's always going to be here. In
me. In Dad... in everyone who knew her." Buck looked at him. "Tia Pepa's right. She will always
be here." Buck promised.

"Buck, is my dad going to be okay?"

"He will be eventually. I promise." Buck kissed the top of Christopher's head. "I love you, kiddo."

"I love you too, Buck, and thank you for taking care of us." Christopher yawned. Buck turned out
the light and slowly closed the door. He walked into Eddie's room. Buck got into bed next to
Eddie. Eddie was facing away from the door. Buck thought he was still asleep until he opened his
mouth. "I never should have cheated on her with you... I should have been with her the entire
time." Eddie sounded bitter. Buck didn't say anything. He just took Eddie's hurtful words to the
chest. Buck rolled over and faced away from Eddie. He was biting down against his teeth until his
jaw muscles were tense and throbbing enough for him to release his bite. His temples vibrated as
he fought so hard not to cry. He didn't want Eddie's words to hurt. But fuck, they hurt. "I'm sorry; I
shouldn't have said that." Eddie said, curled up behind Buck with his arm around him. Buck
whimpered out a little sob.

"I'm sorry..." Eddie said it again. "I'm so sorry, baby." The guilt finally toppled him. and Buck was
sobbing. Eddie turned Buck around and pulled him into his arms. Buck knew that Eddie didn't
mean what he'd said. "I didn't mean it. I love you, Buck." Eddie whispered as Buck cried harder;
his sobs were muffled by his shirt until he was asleep against Eddie.
It's funny how tragedies strike in threes. Buck was crushed, had a pulmonary embolism, and was
stuck in a tsunami all within three months. Now here Buck was, with his lawyer. Eddie's in front of
him with the department lawyer. Chase Mackey was reading Eddie for filth. Using Shannon's death
against Eddie. Buck was staring at Chase with wide eyes. Chase had lied to him. He stared at
Eddie, his eyes trying to convey that he didn't know that this was going to happen. He memorized
the angry glare piercing into Buck's soul. He shrank away into his chair. He knew that his
boyfriend was going to kill him when he got his job back.

Then, when he'd won the lawsuit, Buck turned down the money and said he wanted his job back.
He ran into his team in the grocery store, and it all exploded from there. A fight that only lovers
could have. And all of Eddie's words were sharp and hurtful as the 118 stared between them.
Thankfully, two idiots with road rage interrupted, and it pulled the 118 into business. Buck left
after that, taking it as a breakup. He grieved the end of his relationship with Eddie. He should have
known that there was an expiration date for them. There was always an expiration date for all of
Buck's relationships.

Eventually, though, Buck and Eddie started talking again. It was a silent understanding between
them. They were over. But they could still be friends. Then Eddie started dating Ana Flores. Buck
stayed away to avoid making the same mistakes because he still loved Eddie but wanted him to be
happy. However, no matter how hard Buck tried to suppress his feelings, they continued to linger
beneath the surface. Seeing Eddie with someone else was a constant reminder of what they once
had, and it tore at Buck's heart every time. He would watch from afar, pretending to be content
with their newfound friendship, but deep down, he yearned for more. The truth was, Buck had
never stopped loving Eddie, and the pain of knowing they could never be together again was a
burden he carried in silence.

Eventually Buck started to date Taylor Kelly; she was some form of comfort, she was familiar, and
he liked her. She provided a distraction for Eddie. But no matter how much he tried to convince
himself that he had moved on, Taylor could never fill the void that Eddie had left in his heart.
Buck found himself comparing every moment with Taylor to the ones he had shared with Eddie,
and it only further deepened his longing for what they once had. But he ignored it and kept going
with Taylor, settling for safety.

"Are you okay?" Buck jumped out of his skin when Eddie's voice perked up from behind him in
the parking lot. Eddie's concerned eyes studied Buck's face, searching for any sign of what was
troubling him. Buck couldn't bring himself to meet Eddie's gaze, afraid that his emotions would be
too obvious. He had spent so long building up a facade of being content, and he couldn't let it
crumble now. "You know you can talk to me, right?" Eddie's voice was gentle, encouraging Buck
to open up. But Buck couldn't find the words to express the depth of his longing and pain. So
instead, he forced a smile and replied, "Thanks, Eddie. I really appreciate that. I'll be okay,
eventually." Eddie nodded, but his eyes betrayed a hint of sadness, as if he sensed that Buck was
hiding something. He took a step closer to Buck. "Buck..."

"Eds..." Buck looked at him. Eddie got even closer to Buck and hugged him. He pulled away and
they looked at each other. The distance between them was barely there. Buck's heart pounded.
"Tell me to go away," Eddie whispered. "Tell me you don't want me." Buck's voice was caught in
his throat. "Ed-Eddie..." He couldn't push the air out of his chest. "Push me away, Evan." Eddie got
closer. The air around them was electrifying. Buck couldn't move and couldn't breathe. Eddie's lips
ghosted over Buck's. "Tell me you don't love me." He rasped before he closed off the rest of their
distance. Buck immediately kissed him back. The electricity between them was sparking through
their kiss in the dim parking lot of their job. Buck pushed him back. "Eddie, I can't. Not again..."
Buck panted. "You're dating Ana." Buck looked at Eddie. His chest was heaving. "I'm dating
Taylor..."

The turmoil in Eddie's eyes was unmistakable as he processed Buck's words. "I know we've both
moved on," Eddie whispered, his voice filled with desperation. "But being with you, even just for a
moment, feels like coming home." Buck's heart ached at the vulnerability in Eddie's voice,
realizing that their connection was far from gone. "Eddie, I can't..." He stepped closer to Eddie. "I
can't..." He was closer. "We can't." Buck was closing off their space: "We shouldn't..." He pulled
Eddie against his lips. He was weak. He couldn't stop himself. Their lips met in a passionate
embrace, and their bodies became entangled in a dance that was both familiar and electric. In that
moment, all doubts and fears faded away, leaving only the undeniable truth of their love and
longing for each other. As the kiss deepened, it became clear that no amount of resistance or denial
could extinguish the fire that burned between them.

Buck pushed Eddie against his truck. Eddie pushed Buck back, opened the back door, and pulled
Buck towards the the cabin of his truck. "I need you, Buck." He rasped immediately, kissing Buck
again. Their bodies pressed against each other, fueled by a desperate magnetic pull. Buck's hands
roamed Eddie's sculpted chest, tracing every contour, while Eddie's fingers found solace in the soft
tendrils of Buck's hair. Their lips moved urgently, their tongues exploring the depths of each
other's mouths as their passion consumed them. Buck ended up straddling Eddie, kissing his pulse
point. Eddie was panting. His hands were gripping Buck's hips, and his own were rolling up into
Buck's. Buck gasped at the newfound friction. "Ed-Eddie..."

"Shh... don't think... just feel..." Eddie rasped. They were panting with desire. Their bodies were in
sync, moving with a rhythm that only they could understand. The truck was filled with their moans
and gasps, and the air was humid from the heat they were creating. They didn't need words to
express their love, for in that moment, their bodies spoke the language of passion and desire as they
had a hand around each other's shaft out of their jeans. It was a quick and easier way to get off in a
parking lot in a very confined space. Their hands moved slowly against the other's cock as their
foreheads touched. They moaned, whimpered, and shuddered together. Time seemed to stand still
as their hands moved in perfect sync, bringing each other closer to the brink of ecstasy. Every touch
and every stroke fueled the fire that burned between them.

Buck was panting as Eddie brought him closer. "Eds, I can't hold on much longer," Buck gasped,
his voice filled with desperation and desire. Eddie's lips brushed against Buck's ear as he
whispered, "Let go, Buck. Give in to it." With those words, the dam finally broke, and waves of
pleasure crashed over him. Buck's hips jerked as he let out a sob of pleasure as his cock throbbed in
Eddie's hand as he came all over Eddie's hand and in his lap. Not long after, Eddie followed suit,
making just as much of a mess as Buck. Their chests were pressed together as they came down
from their highs. Breathing heavily, they stayed locked in their embrace, their bodies still trembling
with the aftershocks of their release. As they slowly regained their composure, Eddie gently wiped
away the evidence of their passion with a tenderness that only ignited Buck's desire for him even
further.

They were back to sneaking around. Only this time they both had girlfriends. No one was married.
The guilt weighed heavily on their shoulders, but the allure of their forbidden love was too strong
to resist. Yet in those stolen moments, their connection felt undeniable, making it harder to let go of
the secret affair they had fallen into yet again, only this time they would meet in motel rooms since
Taylor mostly hung out at Buck's apartment and after Christopher blew up at Eddie when he told
him about Ana, they stayed away from Eddie's house.

The motel rooms became their sanctuary, a place where they could fully indulge in their hidden
desires without fear of being discovered. The dimly lit spaces offered a temporary escape from the
reality that awaited them outside those walls. Each encounter was filled with a mix of passion and
guilt, a dangerous cocktail that only fueled their need for one another. In those stolen moments,
they felt alive, free from the constraints of their everyday lives. The secrecy only heightened the
intensity of their connection, making it nearly impossible to resist the magnetic pull that kept
drawing them back together.

Buck was sitting with his sister one random afternoon, and the guilt was eating at him again.
"Evan, what is going on with you? I'm worried..." Maddie sighed after Buck failed to stay focused
on their conversation and just got lost in his head again after the third time. Buck snapped out of his
reverie, his sister's concerned voice pulling him back to reality. He looked at Maddie, her worried
eyes searching his face for answers. More guilt washed over him, and he realized he couldn't keep
his secret hidden any longer. Taking a deep breath, he decided it was time to confide in his sister
and let her in on the whirlwind romance that had consumed his thoughts and emotions. "I'm
cheating on Taylor." Buck's voice cracked, and he waited for his sister to tear him a new one.

But instead of anger or judgment, Maddie's eyes softened with understanding. She reached out and
gently squeezed Buck's hand, assuring him of her silent support. "Buck, I'm here for you," she said
softly. "Let's talk about it and find a way to navigate through this together." In that moment, Buck
felt immense relief, grateful to have his sister by his side during this turbulent time. "But first, who
is this person you're seeing?" She asked. Buck looked at her. "You swear you won't tell anyone?
Not even Chimney can know, okay?" Maddie nodded, her expression showing sincerity and trust.
"I promise, Buck. Our conversation will stay between us. You can trust me completely." Buck
hesitated for a moment, unsure if he should reveal the truth, but he knew he needed someone to
confide in. With a deep breath, he finally opened up, knowing Maddie would keep his secret safe.
"I've been seeing Eddie," Buck whispered.

"Okay, I was not expecting that." Maddie said softly. Buck groaned and practically slammed his
head on the table. "I cannot believe I let this happen again. Mads... This isn't the first time Eddie
and I cheated; we were seeing each other when Shannon came back into his life. But we broke up
because of the lawsuit, then remained friends, and now we're repeating history with different
women." Buck sounded like he was about to cry. "He kissed me first both times we were
romantically and sexually involved with one another, Maddie. I-I don't know what to do." Maddie's
heart sank as she listened to Buck's confession. "And both times, I let it happen... I knew what I
was doing. I didn't care... I just needed Eddie, even if it was just for a little while. This wasn't
supposed to happen." Buck shook his head.

"I don't know if I can keep it up anymore." Buck sobbed, suddenly hiding his eyes. Maddie reached
out and gently placed a hand on Buck's trembling shoulder, her own eyes welling up with tears. She
couldn't bear to see him in such pain, knowing how deeply he felt for Eddie. "Buck," she
whispered softly, her voice filled with empathy, "it's okay to feel conflicted. Love is messy, and
sometimes we make choices that don't align with what we thought was supposed to happen. But
you don't have to face this alone. I'm here for you, no matter what." Buck immediately hugged her,
letting himself feel his emotions. "Thank you..."

Buck was helping Bobby cook dinner for everyone when there was a commotion coming
downstairs. He looked at Bobby with furrowed brows, and the both of them went to the rail and
looked at what it was. Ana and Eddie were fighting. Buck's heart sank as he watched the heated
exchange between Ana and Eddie. He knew how much they loved each other, but sometimes love
was just not enough. He glanced over at Bobby, who gave him a knowing look, signaling that they
needed to intervene.

Taking a deep breath, Buck approached the couple. "Okay, okay, let's all take a minute and a
breather."

"You." Ana snarled as she glared at Buck. "You're his best friend. You can tell me who the
adulterous slut is." She said she was holding up an unsigned love note. Buck recognized his own
handwriting. Shit, how did she get a hold of that? Buck looked at Eddie, and panic was in his body
language. This is it. They're about to be exposed. "I don't know..." Buck said he was swallowing
back anxiety. Ana continued to stare at Buck, her eyes filled with fury and hurt. The tension in the
air was palpable as everyone held their breath, waiting for his response. Buck's mind raced,
desperately seeking a plausible explanation that could save both his and Eddie's relationship. Panic
welled up in his eyes. God damn it. He's about to be hated for this. He cleared his throat.

"You know, it sure is a quiet night; it's been what, three hours, and we haven't had a call?" Buck
asked, looking at Eddie. "Oh, fuck you, Buckley, why would you do that?!" Chimney snapped as
the call bell echoed through the station. All of the firefighters were grumbling and cussing Buck as
they grabbed their turnout gear. "So-sorry duty calls." Buck said as he was running away from
Ana. Eddie was right behind Buck.

"Oh, EMS gods, thank you." Buck exhaled. Chimney, Hen, and Bobby were all glaring at Buck.
"What?" Buck blinked. "You said the Q-word on purpose." Chimney hit Buck in the arm. Buck
grabbed his arm. "Ow! Hey! I don't handle being put on the spot well. I'm sorry!" Buck said,
looking at everyone. "So you jinxed us?" Hen snapped. "Buck, it's 8 p.m! We haven't even had
dinner yet!" Chimney added, his frustration evident in his voice. "I-I didn't mean to," he
stammered, guilt flooding his expression. "I just panicked. Okay, Ana was so angry... So... I-I-I..."

"She thought that you would know who Eddie's being unfaithful to because usually adulterers tell
their best friends about it." Chimney huffed. Buck looked down. "So. Who's the adulterous slut in
Eddie's life, Buck?" Buck looked away. "Hey! Look! We're here! Yay! Fire!" Buck cheered with
anxiety as he got out of the firetruck. He was about to crack and reveal that he was Eddie's
adulterous slut.

Buck's heart was pounding in his chest as he stepped out of the firetruck. The weight of his secret
was becoming unbearable, and he knew he couldn't keep up the charade any longer. But as he
looked at his teammates, ready to face the burning building, he realized that this was going to have
to go either way: either they were coming out or they were going to have to end it, both of which
Buck didn't want. They all focused on the fire and their jobs.

Taylor was standing in the kitchen of the loft with Maddie. When the 118 hauled themselves up the
stairs, "Buck said the Q-word because apparently Ana asked him who the adulterous slut Eddie's
been seeing behind her back was." Chimney whined and hugged Maddie. "Oh really?" She said,
looking at Buck with a knowing look in her eyes, "And for some reason, when we asked him about
it, he got excited about fire?" Hen laughed.

"You're hiding something." Taylor said, narrowing her eyes. "Nuh-uh, nope, no secrets here!" Buck
was about to crack. "Evan Buckley, you are a bad liar. Cough it up." Taylor looked at him.

"Okay! Fine! I'm cheating on you! I have been the entire time." Buck exhaled. "Oh, thank fuck! It's
out!" The room fell silent as everyone processed Buck's confession. Chimney's grip on Maddie
tightened, his face a mix of disbelief and anger. Taylor's narrowed eyes softened. "Who is she?"
she whispered, her voice barely audible. He let out a deep sigh. The air in the room became heavy
with tension; the once lighthearted atmosphere was now suffocating.

"She is a he?" Buck awkwardly smiled. His attempt at a smile only added to the awkwardness in
the room as everyone exchanged confused glances. Buck's words hung in the air, leaving a
palpable sense of confusion and disbelief. Chimney's grip on Maddie loosened slightly, his
expression shifting from anger to confusion. Taylor's eyes widened with a mix of shock and
uncertainty. He let out another sigh, the weight of the situation becoming even more
overwhelming. The tension in the room grew thicker, as if the walls themselves were closing in.
"You're gay?" Taylor asked. "Bi." Buck corrected. "Look, it just happened. The first time it
happened, he was married, and I hated myself the entire time because his wife was just an amazing
person who deserved the world."
"The first time it happened? It's happened before?" She asked. "Then we broke up, and then he
kissed me first, and I-I tried... okay? I-I tried to resist it. But I love him. I've loved him since we-we
met. He didn't dare look at anyone other than Taylor. "I'm sorry I hurt you." Taylor's eyes widened
as she took in Buck's confession. Her eyes flicked to Eddie. She looked at Buck with a small smile.
"If he hurts you, Buck, Let me know, and I'll blast him on the news."

"You're... not mad?" Buck blinked. "No. We had an open relationship, Buck." Taylor laughed.
"Wait, we did?" Buck blinked again. Taylor nodded. "We were never that serious. We were
fucking around. I'm sorry you held so much guilt.

Buck's jaw dropped as he processed Taylor's words. He had carried the weight of their brief fling
on his conscience for so long, assuming it had meant more to her. Relief washed over him as
Taylor assured him of their non-committal status. He couldn't help but feel a sense of liberation as
their conversation brought clarity to a situation he had misunderstood for far too long. "I'm done. I
need a break. Good night." Buck sighed. He was sending all the signals to Eddie; he was done. He
couldn't do it anymore.

He went to the bunk room and climbed into his usual bunk. He was just done for the night.

Forty minutes later, Eddie came down. "Are you asleep?" He asked softly. Buck sighed. "I'm trying
to."

Eddie's voice sounded hesitant, almost cautious, as if he was unsure whether to proceed. Buck
could sense his hesitation and frustration welling up within him. "Eddie, we need to talk," Buck
stated firmly, his exhaustion seeping into his voice. "I can't keep going like this, pretending that
everything is okay when it's not. We can't continue this way, living in limbo." Eddie remained
silent for a moment before responding, his voice laced with regret. "I know, Buck. I've been
avoiding the conversation for so long, but I think it's time we confront our feelings and make a
decision." The weight of their unspoken desires hung heavy in the air as they stared at each other.

"It's Ana or it's me. I can't sneak around anymore." Buck's words hung in the air, echoing the
ultimatum they both knew was long overdue. The room seemed to shrink as Eddie finally found
the courage to face the reality of their situation. A mixture of fear and anticipation filled his chest
as he responded, "I love you, Buck, but I can't bear the thought of losing Ana either. She's good for
Christopher, and my parents like her. It's time we figure out a way to make this work for all of us."

Buck looked at Eddie. "No. It's Ana. Or it's me. You cannot have both. You need to choose."
Eddie felt a lump form in his throat as Buck's words hung in the air. The room seemed to grow
colder as Eddie contemplated the consequences of his choice. "You know what?" Buck sighed. "I
just made the decision for you. We're done." Buck said, rolling back over. "We can be friends, but
that's it." He closed his eyes and attempted to get some sleep.

A few months later, Eddie and Ana broke up. And shortly after that, Buck and Eddie were back to
being best friends. They had both agreed that their friendship was too important to let a romantic
relationship come between them. Eddie had realized that he had been trying to force something that
wasn't meant to be, and he was grateful that Buck had made the decision for him that night. It had
saved them both from a potentially messy and complicated situation. As they resumed their old
dynamic, Eddie couldn't help but feel a sense of relief. He had missed the easy camaraderie and
laughter they shared, and it felt good to have his best friend back by his side.

Buck was at lunch with Maddie and Chimney. "So... I want to set you up with someone." Chimney
said. "You're not seeing the mysterious guy that you refuse to tell us about? Are you?"

Buck sighed. "No, I broke it off with him. He didn't want to end things with his girlfriend. I gave
him an ultimatum; he hesitated, and so I ended it." Buck shrugged and said, "I'm done with
relationships; right now, I want to focus on me, myself, and I. Men suck, women suck more so...
it's Buck's single era."

"Really? I think you'd like this person." Chimney replied, trying to persuade Buck. "They share
your love for adventure and have a great sense of humor. Plus, they're completely single and ready
to mingle. Give it a shot, Buck; you might just find someone who doesn't suck." Buck hesitated for
a moment, contemplating Chimney's words. Finally, he shrugged and said, "Alright, fine. I'll give it
a try. But if it doesn't work out, I'm officially embracing the single life."

"Great! Her name is Lucy Donato, and she's a firefighter."

"Nope. Not dealing with firefighters or paramedics." Buck let out a wry laugh. "As it turns out,
dating someone who knows exactly what it's like to work in our line of work, Chim, is a fucking
recipe for disaster." Maddie grimaced, and Buck knew that she caught on to the fact that he was
talking about Eddie. "It couldn't have been that bad, Buck," Maddie said. "No, it wasn't actually;
however, the fact that he hesitated and broke up with his girlfriend literally after I broke up with
him."

"So you're both single, and you suddenly despise him?" She asked, frowning. "Nope." Buck
popped the 'p', "In fact, I still love him. I just can't be in a relationship with him because, well, I
don't know. Because he happily cheated on his wife and his girlfriend with me, what if he cheats on
me with someone else?"

"But Buck," Maddie replied, concern evident in her voice, "if you still love him, shouldn't you at
least have a conversation about it? Maybe he wants to change." Buck sighed, his gaze fixed on the
ground. "I've thought about that, Maddie. I'm scared that I'll never be able to fully trust him.
Especially if we finally figure our shit out. Because what if it's a possibility? I know he's capable of
it. He's done it with me."
"Okay, how come she knows who you're talking about and I don't?" Chimney asked. "She's my
sister, and I can count on her to keep a secret. You? Hah, not a chance in hell." Buck scoffed.
Chimney gasped, offended, "Why I never!"

"Really? You know why we don't play Secret Santa? Because of you." Buck said, looking at him.
"Bad Secret Keeper." Chimney crossed his arms and pouted, "Well, maybe I just don't like the
pressure of keeping secrets. It's not my fault if I slip up once in a while." Buck shook his head, a
smirk playing on his lips. "Once in a while? More like every single time. Remember that time with
Eddie's surprise birthday party? You spilled the beans before he even blew out the candles."
Chimney's cheeks turned a shade of red as he muttered, "Okay, maybe I have a tendency to get
excited and blurt things out." Buck chuckled. "That's exactly why I am not telling you."

"Wait... I think I can figure it out from the context clues. So. You said no to the idea of dating
another firefighter. So that means that the mystery guy is currently a firefighter. So Check. It's
secret, so... Bobby doesn't know, which means he works at the 118." Buck sighed, "Chim. It's none
of your business, okay? Can you just drop it?" He asked. Chim glanced at Buck with a mischievous
grin. "Oh, come on, you've piqued my curiosity now. Is the mystery firefighter someone we know?
An old flame perhaps?" Buck groaned in exasperation. "You're relentless, Chim. I'm telling you,
drop it." But Chim's eyes widened with realization. "No way... it's Eddie, isn't it? You and Eddie
are a thing!" Buck's face turned red as he shook his head vigorously. "No, no, no! It's not Eddie,
okay? Just drop it, Chim!" he pleaded, feeling a mix of embarrassment and frustration. Chim's
mischievous grin only grew wider, clearly enjoying teasing his friend. "Oh, Buck, you can't fool
me. I've seen the way you two look at each other; the chemistry is undeniable!" Buck's heart raced
as he tried to find the right words to deny Chim's assumption. He groaned and stood up. "No. Just
fucking stop!" Buck snapped. Chim's grin faded as he registered the seriousness in Buck's voice.
Sensing his friend's distress, he quickly realized he had struck a sensitive nerve. "Okay, Buck, I'm
sorry. I didn't mean to upset you," he said, his tone sincere.

Buck sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "If you say anything..." He trailed off. "If you
need someone to gossip about my love life, do it with Maddie. Okay? Only her." Chimney looked
at him, "So... I was right?" Buck rolled his eyes.

"Yes, you were right," Buck admitted, his frustration evident. "But that doesn't mean you have the
right to go spreading it around. Maddie is the only one I trust with this information, and I expect
you to respect that." Chimney nodded solemnly, realizing the gravity of the situation. "I promise,
Buck," he said earnestly. "I won't say a word to anyone else."

"Good, because if you do, I'll make you regret it." Buck said it with a steely glare.

"You got it, Buck. Nothing but radio silence." Buck gave a satisfied smile. "Good..."
Buck grabbed his jacket and pulled it on. "I gotta go; Chris wants to go to the zoo, and I'd promised
Eddie I'd make it to his house before 3." Chimney smirked, and Buck caught it. "Don't even go
there; we're still friends." Buck muttered, pointing at Chimney.

Buck watched Eddie from a distance as he and Christopher read the map again. They were trying to
find the new exhibit. Eddie had never looked so beautiful with his confused, slightly furrowed
brows. "Seriously? Who even made this map?" Eddie groaned, partially annoyed. Buck chuckled to
himself, appreciating Eddie's frustration. He had always found Eddie's determination endearing,
even when it came to something as simple as finding a new exhibit at the zoo. Christopher sighed
and said, "Dad, it's an easy map. It's not that hard."

Eddie sighed, turned, and looked at Buck. "Buck, seriously, how do we get there?"

Buck grinned mischievously, enjoying the opportunity to tease Eddie a little longer. "Well, Eddie,"
he began, his voice dripping with faux seriousness, "it seems we have a true navigational
conundrum on our hands. I suppose we could consult the ancient scrolls of the zoo map or perhaps
seek the guidance of the zoo gods themselves." Buck pointed towards a winding path that led
deeper into the zoo. Eddie let out a mock gasp, placing a hand dramatically over his heart. "Oh no,
not Chris and the zoo gods! Anything but that!" he exclaimed, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
Buck laughed, shaking his head. "You're such a drama queen, Eddie. Let's just go before we miss
the exhibit." As they made their way down the path, the sounds of exotic animals and the chatter of
excited visitors grew louder.

"You three are a beautiful family! You're even wearing colors that go well together!" An older lady
said as Buck looked down. He was wearing a light blue T-shirt; Eddie was wearing a lime green
shirt; and Christopher was wearing a bright teal shirt. "Huh. I guess we are matchi..."

"Thank you! My dads are awesome!" Christopher chirped. Buck was stunned. "Thank you so
much..." He flushed. "Exhibit's that-a-way." He ushered Eddie and Christopher towards the path.
He was getting uncomfortable right now. Goddamn Chimney was getting into his head. What did
he mean when he said he noticed how Eddie and Buck looked at each other? Did he mean recently,
or was it during the duration of their relationship? Now they were called a family, and Christopher
called Buck his second dad? How the hell was he supposed to act?

"B-Buck... Buck!" Christopher protested. "Evan!" Eddie called out, and Buck blinked and snapped
out of his head. "Exhibit's over there." Eddie said as they stopped, his face twisted with confusion
and a slight concern. "Are you okay?" He asked. Buck looked at him. "Do we really look like a
family?" He asked as Christopher went ahead to the exhibit. Eddie's eyes widened. "I mean, you are
my coparent and my best friend. Literally, I wouldn't be where I am without you."

Buck looked at Eddie. "And yes, it didn't work out with us, but we love Chris enough to put it all to
the side... for him." Buck took in his words and sighed. "Maddie and Chimney know." He couldn't
keep it from Eddie. "They know what?" Eddie asked, confused, and Buck looked at him. "About
us..." he said.

"I told Maddie because I couldn't not tell her because I needed someone to complain about our
issues. And Chimney, figured it out on his own." Buck sighed. Eddie looked at Buck. "And... I
needed you to know just in case he couldn't keep his mouth shut. Just so you're not blindsided.
Even if it doesn't really matter since we're not together anymore..." Eddie frowned, his confusion
turning to concern. He reached out a hand, placing it gently on Buck's arm. "Buck, hey, look,
Maddie and Chim finding out isn't a big deal. In fact, Hen and Athena know too that because of
me, I needed someone to fuss about our issues." Eddie laughed, "It's cool. But... I need you to
know that just because we're not together anymore doesn't mean I don't care about you; that part of
me, of us, still burns for you." Eddie said softly. Buck could see the sincerity in his eyes, and a
flicker of hope ignited within him. Maybe there was a chance they could be together forever—no
more girlfriends, no more clandestine meetings, no more secret love affairs—it'd be them against
all odds. Buck needs to take the shot. While he's reading all the signs.

He took a deep breath and opened his mouth. "Eds... I—"

"John!" There was a scream. "Help! Somebody! My-My husband!" Buck and Eddie looked at each
other, and they ran to the man who went down. "We're firefighters. Call 9-1-1!" Buck called to the
woman who screamed. As they rushed to assist the fallen man, Buck and Eddie exchanged a
knowing glance. The moment they had been building towards—the confession that would change
everything—would have to wait. Their duty as firefighters always came first. Eddie checked for a
pulse and rubbed at his sterum. "He's not reacting to sternal rubs; starting compressions." Eddie
announced, He counted to thirty before pausing, and Buck checked for his pulse. "No pulse." Eddie
jumped back into it. "Pulse check!" Buck checked. "We got it back." He exhaled, "Hi, sir, don't
move; your heart stopped. Help is on the way." Eddie said using his phone flashlight to check his
pupils. "Normal reaction; no head trauma."

The 133 pulled up and walked up. "Well, if it isn't the 118, in their civvies..." One of the
paramedics smirked. "Lucky day, John; these two are damn good firemen." Captain Mehta
commented. "Are you sure you're not looking for another job, Buckley? I could use a spitfire guy
like you." Buck lightly chuckled. "I'm still very much taken with the 118." Buck laughed. "If you
change your mind, call me anytime."

Eddie and Buck stood back up and watched as John and Mary, according to what she'd said to the
dispatcher, went to the ambulance. "So, Mehta's trying to poach you?" Eddie asked. "Yeah," Buck
replied with a shrug. "He's been trying to lure me away ever since things started getting rough with
the lawsuit. But honestly, the 118 is my home. No matter what happens, I can't imagine leaving
this team." Eddie nodded in understanding, a hint of relief in his eyes. "Good," he said firmly.
"Because we wouldn't be the same without you."
"Speaking of... what I was trying to say before..."

"Dad! Buck! It's time to go!" Christopher called out as Buck sighed and interrupted. Again. Great.

Buck turned towards the sound of Christopher's voice and saw him standing at the door, backpack
slung over his shoulder. He couldn't help but smile at the sight of his favorite Diaz, always full of
energy and excitement. "Hey buddy, we're coming," Buck called back, trying to hide his frustration
at the interruption. He turned back to Eddie, his train of thought momentarily derailed. "Sorry,
what were you saying?" Eddie asked, trying to pick up where they left off. Buck looked at him and
said, "It... it can wait." He chickened out.

Eddie raised an eyebrow, sensing something was off. "No, Buck, talk to me," Eddie insisted,
concern lacing his voice. Buck sighed, realizing Eddie knew him far too well to know something
was bothering him. "I still love you." Buck confessed. "I know, I'm the one that ended it, but it
doesn't change how I feel," Buck continued, his voice filled with vulnerability.

"I'm talking to someone, actually." Eddie said softly. "Her name is Marisol. I actually really want to
try and make it work with her. She's crafty, good with her hands, independent, pretty, funny, kind...
I can't... not this time."

"Oh."

"Buck, I do still really care about you."

"Right, yeah, of course." Buck nodded, feigning a smile, "no worries. I'm happy for you, man."

Five months passed quickly after Buck's confession to Eddie that he still wanted him. And it was
looking like the desire for an affair was finally gone. They'd learned their lessons. They had both
realized the importance of communication and honesty in their friendship and had made a pact to
always be open with each other, especially about their failed relationship. It hadn't been easy, but
they had managed to rebuild their trust and create a stronger bond. Buck had even started dating
again, trying to move on from his unrequited feelings for Eddie. He had met someone new—
someone who made him laugh and feel alive again. A gorgeous, funny, and quirky woman named
Natalia. Buck actually started to feel like he was being seen for the first time. She took all of his
issues in stride and actually liked spending time with him.

"I really want you to meet my team, Nat." Buck said this one day as he was finishing up his dishes
after their dinner date. Natalia looked up from her seat at the kitchen table, a curious smile playing
on her lips. "Your team?" she asked, her voice laced with intrigue. Buck nodded, his eyes filled
with a mix of excitement and nervousness. "Yeah, the people I work with at the fire station.
They're like the closest thing to family to me, and I think they'll love you just as much as I do," he
replied, his words filled with genuine affection. "Are you saying we're at that stage where I meet
the family?" She teased him as she hugged him from behind.

Buck chuckled, feeling her warmth against his back as her arms wrapped around him. "Well, it's
not like an official 'meet the parents' kind of thing," he said, turning to face her with a playful glint
in his eyes. "But yeah, I want you to meet them. They've been hearing about you for weeks now,
and they're dying to finally put a face to the name." He leaned in and kissed her forehead gently.
"Plus, I want you to see where I spend so much of my time. It's a big part of who I am."

Natalia laughed, saying, "I still think it's funny that you work hard to prevent death and I work hard
for people to embrace death." Buck laughed with her. "We're on totally opposite ends of the
spectrum, I suppose. But that's what makes us interesting." His eyes twinkled with affection as he
turned around and looked at her, wrapping his arms around her waist. He leaned down to kiss her.
He was interrupted by his front door opening suddenly. "Buck, are you home?" Eddie's voice could
be heard as he removed his keys from the door and walked in as if he were living there.

"Uh, yeah, I'm kind of in the middle of something." Buck said, looking over at Eddie. "Give me
one second." He said to Natalia, who looked confused. Buck quickly let go of Natalia and walked
over to Eddie, greeting him with a forced smile. Eddie raised an eyebrow at the sight of Natalia,
clearly sensing the tension in the air. "Who's this?" Eddie asked, his voice laced with curiosity.

"Eddie, this is Natalia. My girlfriend." Buck said, looking at Eddie, "And Natalia, this is Eddie.
My... uh... anyway... What do you need, Eddie?"

Natalia's confusion only deepened as Buck stumbled over his words, unsure of how to define his
relationship with Eddie. She couldn't help but notice the tension between the two men. It was as if
one moment Buck was cool and collected, but the next, when he looked at Eddie, his nerves were
flayed open. Natalia wondered what had caused such a drastic shift in Buck's demeanor. She had
never seen him so flustered before, especially when introducing her to someone. As she glanced at
Eddie, she couldn't help but notice a subtle smirk playing on his lips, as if he knew something she
didn't. The air between them felt charged with unspoken words and hidden history, leaving Natalia
with a nagging feeling that there was more to Eddie's presence in Buck's life than she had initially
thought.

"You weren't picking up your phone, and I needed to ask if you wanted to help Chris and me on his
social studies project. Something about building a miniature architectural piece of history: Chris
still hasn't met Marisol, and she's busy flipping her uncle's house for him. So... are you up for it?"
Eddie asked, looking at Buck.

Natalia watched as Buck's expression softened at Eddie's words, a flicker of relief crossing his
features. It was clear that there was a deep bond between these two friends, one that went beyond
mere acquaintances. "Which translates to you don't know what the fuck you're doing and you need
the guy that did construction for a couple of years to help out." Buck said, looking at him. Eddie
chuckled, knowing Buck's sarcastic comment was his way of accepting the challenge. "Well, yeah,
basically," Eddie replied with a playful grin. Natalia could notice the flirtatious look in Eddie's
eyes. She couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy as she observed the playful exchange between
Eddie and Buck. She quickly dismissed the feeling, reminding herself that she was merely a new
spectator in their close-knit bond.

Natalia cleared her throat gently in an attempt to remind Buck of her presence. "So who's Chris?"
She asked. "Christopher is the best kid ever!" Buck said, looking back at her. "He's my son," Eddie
said. "And... you just so happen to have a key to Buck's apartment?" She asked. "Everyone at the
firehouse has a key to my place; it's supposed to be for emergencies only." Buck said, looking at
Eddie. He shrugged. "I'm giving you a chance to hang out with the closest thing to a son you
have."

"Could have knocked... I could have been naked!" Buck said. Eddie just shrugged. "Nothing I
haven't seen before." Buck sighed. "You've seen him naked?" Natalia looked weirded out. "We're
firefighters, hon. We practically live together, working 24 or 48-hour shifts. You're bound to see
everyone in the nude." Eddie said, looking at Natalia. "Eddie." Buck sighed. There was a slight
attitude in Eddie's tone that was just barely noticeable, but Buck caught it loud and clear. "I'm just
answering her question!" Eddie sighed, defending himself.

"Just... let me walk Natalia down to her car, and we can go build Chris' project." Buck said,
looking at her. Natalia nodded, feeling slightly uncomfortable with the previous conversation. As
they walked towards her car, Buck sensed her unease and reassured her, "Don't worry about Eddie.
He's just being Eddie." Natalia smiled, grateful for Buck's understanding. They reached her car,
and she turned to him and said, "Thanks for walking me, Buck. I appreciate it." He nodded, giving
her a warm smile and saying, "No problem. Anything for you, Natalia." He said this while kissing
her cheek. She got into her car and drove away.

Buck turned around and looked at Eddie. "Um. What the fuck was that?"

"What the fuck was what? I did nothing." Eddie said. "Really? So you weren't peacocking?" Buck
raised an eyebrow, his arms crossed, as he questioned Eddie. "Walking in unannounced when you
know damn well you didn't try to call or text me, I told everyone not to bother me because I was
going to be busy tonight." Buck's frustration was evident in his voice as he confronted Eddie about
his suspicious behavior. Eddie shifted uncomfortably, avoiding eye contact. "I thought maybe we
could spend some time together, you know, since we haven't seen each other in a minute." Buck's
frustration softened slightly as he saw the vulnerability in Eddie's eyes. He sighed, his arms
dropping to his sides. "Eddie, we can't keep doing this. We've talked about this before." Eddie
nodded, his expression filled with remorse. "I know, Buck. I'm sorry. I just... I miss—"

"Don't," Buck said. "Okay, just... don't. Not again. Not a third time. I have a girlfriend who I
actually really like. I don't want to fall back into an old pattern of guilt, shame, and pleasure.
Again." Buck said his voice was desperate. "Just drop it, and let's help Chris with his project."
Buck got into Eddie's truck without another word.
Buck had his arms crossed the entire time as he looked outside of the window while on the way to
Eddie's house. He just wanted to get Christopher's project done and over with, keep things
professional, and try not to end up in bed with Eddie yet again. But the familiar tension between
them lingered in the air, tempting Buck to give in to his desires. As Eddie drove, the memories of
their past passionate encounters flooded Buck's mind, making it harder for him to push away old
feelings that never went away. He clenched his jaw, determined to resist the magnetic pull that
seemed to draw them together time and time again. He was annoyed.

This man. This gorgeous Latino man sitting next to him was like the forbidden fruit in the Garden
of Eden, or whatever the story was. Buck didn't know; he didn't go to church; he was practically
raised by wolves and Maddie. But in that moment, Buck couldn't help but feel the tantalizing
temptation radiating off him. Their eyes met briefly, and Buck felt a surge of electricity pass
between them. It was frustrating how effortlessly this man could unravel him, as if he had the key
to unlocking all of Buck's hidden desires. With a shaky breath, Buck tried desperately to focus on
the task at hand, refusing to let their unresolved history cloud his judgment.

He pulled out his phone and started texting Maddie.

Ok, don't get mad.

What did you do?

Eddie came over and kinda crashed my date.

Chris needs help with a history project.

Then this man had the audacity to try and say he missed me.

like

Mfr

I gave you an opportunity to be with me, but instead

You chose Marisol.

maddieeeee

heelllppp

What are you asking me to do?

Idk! I'm asking u!

I'm sorry, I'm just worried.

I'm going to fall back into bed with him.

I can't keep doing this.

I'm the one who always gets hurt.

It just seems like he only truly wants me whenever I'm dating.

You know?

Like, does he really want me?

Buck I don't know.

Just don't sleep with him.

You can do that, can't you?

"We're here..." Eddie said, looking over at Buck. Buck looked at him. "What? Oh, we're here."
Buck said getting out of the car. Buck and Eddie arrived at their destination, but Buck's mind was
still preoccupied with his conflicted feelings. He couldn't help but think about the pattern of their
relationship and how he always ended up hurt. As he got out of the car, Buck made a silent
promise to himself. He was not going to sleep with Eddie Mother-Fucking Diaz. He was strong.

He could resist the pull—the undeniable chemistry that seemed to crackle between them whenever
they were in the same room. Buck had seen how their teammates looked at them and the way they
whispered and speculated about the nature of their relationship. But Buck was determined to prove
them wrong and show that he could separate his personal desires from his professional life. He had
to protect himself, to shield his heart from the inevitable pain that would come from falling for
someone who could never truly be his. Taking a deep breath, Buck squared his shoulders and
walked towards the front door of Eddie's house.

There will be absolutely, positively no sex. Buck will not have sex. Buck will not... "Where's
Chris?" Buck asked. "At Pepa's... He told me about this project at the last minute. It's due
Monday." Eddie sighed. "It's why I asked you. You have this uncanny ability to do things at the
last minute and have them be perfect."

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! They were alone. That's not good. Buck's resolve was going to crack, and he
was going to give in, especially without Christopher around. "Oh." He said it simply. "Did you get
all of the supplies?"

"All in the living room." Buck nodded. "Want a beer?" Eddie called out as Buck went to the living
room. "Sure, why not?" Buck replied, trying to hide his growing anxiety. A little alcohol never
hurts anyone. Eddie sat down next to him and passed Buck a beer. "Okay, what do we have here?"
Buck muttered, looking over at Christopher's blueprints. "Wow, I guess I know what Chris might
end up being—an engineer or an architect, because... wow." Buck said that, taking a swig of his
drink and setting it on the coaster, he cracked his knuckles. "Let's get started."

Buck and Eddie finished in approximately three and a half hours. "Okay, this would have taken me
six hours. How did you manage to do this so quickly?" Eddie asked. Buck looked at him.
"Adderall, anxiety, and ADHD." He joked. Eddie chuckled. "Well, whatever the reason, I'm
grateful for your efficiency," he replied, glancing at the completed project, thanks to Christopher's
detailed blueprints and Buck's skilled execution. It was clear that their collaboration had paid off.
As they admired their work, Buck couldn't help but feel a surge of pride and satisfaction. He had
always enjoyed working with his hands.

Buck looked over at Eddie and said, "So, now that's done, what do we do now?" He asked
awkwardly. Eddie looked over at him. "Well, we could grab another beer and just watch something
on Netflix. And just like I don't know Chill?"

"Really, Eddie, you want to Netflix and chill?" Buck said, looking at him. Eddie furrowed his
brows. "Well, yeah, the new season of Love Island is supposed to be good."

"Love Island? Eddie, tell me you're joking. Tell me you don't actually enjoy that show!" Buck
teased him, lightly whacking him with the couch cushion. "I actually do! The drama!" Eddie
defended himself, grabbing the other couch cushion and whacking Buck back. Buck laughed,
looking at Eddie; the electricity between them was sparking up again. He looked at him. There was
a moment of silence as their eyes locked, both of them feeling the magnetic pull that had always
existed between them.

Buck's mantra, I will not have sex tonight, was failing. Buck awkwardly stood up. "I need to hit the
head." He said it, and his voice cracked. He rushed to Eddie's bathroom without letting Eddie get a
word in. As Buck closed the bathroom door behind him, he couldn't help but feel a rush of
emotions overwhelm him. The memories of their past encounters flooded his mind again, making
it even harder for him to resist the intense attraction he still felt towards Eddie. Leaning against the
bathroom counter, Buck took a deep breath, trying to regain his composure, determined to resist
temptation for the sake of his heart. Buck splashed water on his face and lightly slapped himself.
"Get it together; we like Natalia, we don't like Eddie. Natalia, The End-of-life Doula, not
firefighter. Doula, not firefighter," he whispered to himself in the mirror, as if the words alone
could reinforce his commitment to his current relationship.

He calmed down just a little bit and opened the door. Eddie was against the wall, concern etched in
his big, dumb cow eyes. Buck's strength was failing again. Eddie opened his mouth to say
something when Buck suddenly caved in. He shoved Eddie into the wall and kissed him. He
couldn't. Not anymore. Eddie said he'd missed him. Maybe this time it will be different. Maybe
they will break up with their girlfriends for each other. Maybe they'll finally get to be with one
another openly. No more affairs.

Eddie had immediately kissed him back with just as much force. The taste of each other's lips was
intoxicating, a bittersweet reminder of the forbidden love they had shared in secret for far too long.
"Clothes... off." Buck said he was pulling away as they'd made it to Eddie's bedroom.
Buck rolled off of Eddie, panting as he collapsed next to Eddie, basking in the afterglow. The
heady scent of sex was surrounding them. Eddie was catching his breath. "That was... wow," he
rasped. Eddie reached over and brushed his fingers along Buck's bare chest with a tender smile on
his face. "Yeah, it was," he replied, his voice filled with a mix of satisfaction and longing. Buck's
hand was wrapped around Eddie. "We keep doing this. It's only whenever we're dating other
people. Eddie, I can't. It just seems like you only want me when we're not single." Buck said softly.
Eddie's smile faded, his fingers freezing in mid-motion. He studied Buck's face, searching for any
hint of doubt or insecurity. "No, Buck, it's not like that," he asserted, his voice laced with genuine
concern. "I want you, always, no matter who either of us is dating. It's just... complicated, you
know?" Eddie's eyes pleaded for Buck to understand, to see the depth of his emotions and the
tangled mess they found themselves in.

"Complicated? Eddie, what's complicated about being together? I mean, you're the only man I've
been sleeping with since we met... I don't know about you... and your male sex partners if there are
any other after me... or if I'm the only one you've been with, whatever... that's between you and
God." Buck sighed. "This is the third girlfriend I've had that I've cheated on with you. I don't know
why I keep letting myself fall for your games." Buck scoffed.

"I'm sorry, Buck." Eddie said, looking at Buck.

"Really? Are you? Because I gave you a chance, Eddie. At the zoo. You said no. That you were
dating Marisol. I respected that, and I wanted to still be friends. But I find it absolutely funny how
the second I tell everyone at work that I'm in the beginning stages of a relationship with someone,
you suddenly start to show interest in me again." Buck said he sounded annoyed.

Eddie sighed, his gaze dropping to the ground. "I know, Buck. I messed up big time. I thought I
had it all figured out with Marisol, but it was never the same as what I feel when I'm with you. I
was scared to commit and confused, so I made a mistake by pushing you away." He paused, his
voice filled with regret. "But please believe me when I say that my feelings for you are real. I
never stopped caring about you, and I never wanted to hurt you."

Buck shook his head. "Who the fuck do you think you are? Huh? Who do you think I am?" Buck
got out of bed, glaring at him. "Seriously. I-I mean seriously. Eddie!" He started to redress himself
angrily. "I can't believe you! It's always hot and cold with you! You don't really want my heart,
Eddie; no, you just like to know that you can. Because, like a goddamn idiot, I always convince
myself that it's going to be different! That you're not just saying all of these things to get me to have
sex with you."

As Buck continued to dress himself with fierce determination, Eddie's mind raced, desperately
searching for the right words to repair the damage he had caused. He never intended to play with
Buck's emotions, but his fear of commitment had always held him back. "Evan, wait, just wait."
"No, I'm done waiting, Eddie!" Buck shouted. Tears welled up in his eyes. "I deserve better. I
deserve so much better!" Buck sat down at the edge of the bed, facing away from him. "I am-am
not a supplement. I am not a distraction. I don't care if you have commitment issues. I have them
too! I allow myself to get into my head that if we're finally together, no more affairs, no more
girlfriends, nothing, just you and me out and open with each other. That you would go and cheat on
me with someone else. Like you've done with Shannon, with Ana, and now with Marisol. All with
the same person... me." Tears streamed down Buck's face as he poured out his heart to Eddie. The
pain and betrayal he had endured in their relationship weighed heavily on his shoulders, threatening
to crush him. He had reached a breaking point, no longer willing to be seen as just a temporary fix
or a fling.

"It's my fault too. It's not just you. I-I just..." Buck crumbled. "Eddie, I've loved you the entire time.
I'd kill a person for you... I would move hell on earth if it meant we finally got to be free and
together."

Eddie was silent. "I'm sorry..."

"Stop saying you're sorry and actually show me that you are!" Buck snapped through a sob. Eddie's
silence only added to the heavy tension in the room, leaving Buck feeling vulnerable and exposed.
The weight of their unspoken desires hung in the air, aching for resolution. As the seconds ticked
by, Buck realized that this was his last chance to fight for what he truly wanted—a future with
Eddie. But Eddie was hesitating.

"There it is again, that hesitation..." Buck said, standing up, that he ordered an Uber. "I'll be there
for Christopher, and I'll always have your back for work." Buck continued. "But we can't be friends
anymore. That's our issue. We're friends." Buck wiped his tears away and left without hearing
Eddie speak.

As he sat in the backseat of the Uber, Buck's heart felt heavy with a mix of regret and
determination. He couldn't bear the thought of losing Eddie, but he also couldn't keep living in the
limbo of unrequited love. The city lights blurred outside the car window, mirroring the confusion
and chaos in Buck's mind. He replayed their countless memories together—the laughter and shared
secrets, the unspoken longing that had always lingered. Buck was silently crying as he saw
Maddie's house in view.

Buck got out of the Uber and went to Maddie's front door. He needed the comfort of his big sister.
Maybe some alcohol. He'd noticed Hen, Athena, and Josh's cars in the driveway. Shit... she wasn't
alone... Maddie opened the front door. "Evan..." she cooed softly, pulling him inside. Buck hugged
her and just cried as Maddie led him to the living room. All the women and Josh looked up and
saw Buck's red, splotchy face. "Oh Buck, honey, what happened?" Karen gasped.
"Men are literally the worst thing ever." Buck sobbed as he plopped on the couch, face down.
"Eddie and I are officially done. The man fucking hesitated. Again. I'm done... I'm going to end it
with Natalia because I cannot look her in the face knowing that I am a serial cheater for a man who
doesn't want to commit. Men fucking suck!" His voice is muffled by the cushions.

"I know, I know, I set myself up for heartbreak again." He said he was sitting up and looking at
everyone. "Maddie said not to have sex with him. And what do I do? I had sex with him. I'm an
idiot." Maddie sighed, her heart aching for her brother. She reached out and gently touched his
shoulder, offering a small gesture of comfort. "Hey, it's okay," Hen said softly. "We all make
mistakes. You were hoping for something different this time, and sometimes that hope can cloud
our judgment." She paused, searching for the right words to convey her support. "But you're not an
idiot, and you definitely don't deserve to be treated like this. You deserve someone who will love
and commit to you fully, without hesitation."

"Do you want me to fight Eddie? I'll do it." Karen asked. Buck laughed through his tears. "He will
catch these hands." She sassed. "He might be taller, but I'll aim low." Karen's words of
encouragement touched Buck's heart, alleviating some of the pain he was feeling. He appreciated
her unwavering support and the way she stood up for him. However, he couldn't help but smile at
her playful offer to fight Eddie. It was a reminder of Karen's fierce and protective nature, making
him feel even more grateful to have her by his side. "I'll record it! World Star!" Hen called. Maddie
lifted Buck's head, sat down under him, and let him use her thighs as a pillow, just like she did
when they were children.

"Thanks guys..." Buck said softly, "Sorry, I crashed girls and gays night."

"It's okay, Buck. We're just glad you're safe," Maddie reassured him, gently stroking his hair.

Buck was back at work the day after he broke up with Natalia. "I have a special delivery for
firefighter Evan Buckley." The entire 118 looked up. Buck frowned in confusion. "Special
delivery? I didn't order anything."

"This is from Eddie Diaz."

Buck sighed and looked at Eddie. "Seriously?"

"You said to show you." Eddie said. "Well. Open it. I'm showing you how sorry I am." Inside the
box was a teddy bear.
"A teddy bear?"

"Wait... no. That's... Oh, son of a bitch, I hit the wrong button!" Eddie groaned. "I bought this
stupid thing without meaning to." Eddie confessed, scratching his head in frustration. Buck
couldn't help but burst out laughing, breaking the tension in the room. "Well, at least now we have
a new mascot for the station. Meet Captain Cuddle Paws!" He snorted, holding up the teddy bear
with a playful grin. The entire 118 erupted in laughter, relieved that the situation had turned into a
lighthearted moment. "Oh hey, there's something else in..." Buck trailed off as he pulled out a black
velvet necklace box. "St. Florian..." he said, looking at the necklace. "The Patron Saint of
Firefighters..." It was a gorgeous pendant.

"Okay, look. That's part of it. The other part is this: I am by no means a romantic. I am an absolute
shithole at relationships. I mean literally. I don't have to tell you. You already know. I am terrified
of getting hurt because you, Evan Buckley, have captivated my heart and my soul. I am terrified of
being the way I was when I was married. Okay? I was god-awful to Shannon; I was PTSD-ridden,
dealing with a baby with cerebral palsy; I was drowning in debt; I was drowning in my overbearing
parents; I was drowning."

"Then I met you, and it was like I was coming up for fresh air. Finally getting my lungs full of
oxygen. Everything about you made sense, and it terrified me—so much so that I kept pushing you
away. But with each push, you remained patient and understanding. Your love and support never
wavered until Saturday, when you said we shouldn't be friends, and I-I realized that I fucking hurt
the man I fell in love with. Eddie said as the 118 gasped. Buck looked at him. "That's right, I am
madly deeply in love with you, and I don't care how scared I am... I'll scream it from the rooftops.
I'll scream it to everyone I meet. I'll scream it at the fire chief."

Buck looked at Eddie. He was silent. "Marisol?"

"Broke up... Sunday. When you left, I called her and told her we needed to talk."

Buck looked down. "W-was this not what you meant by showing you?" Eddie asked. "Because
again, I'm so awful at being romantic."

Buck laughed. "You're terrible at it." Buck grabbed him by his uniform shirt and pulled him in for
a kiss. Eddie melted into the kiss, and his worries about being romantic disappeared. In that
moment, Buck realized that actions truly spoke louder than words. They didn't need grand gestures
or screaming from rooftops to express their love; a simple, sincere kiss was enough to say it all.

"Fucking finally!" Bobby exhaled. "You two. Sign here. Now." He all but threw the clipboards at
the two firefighters. Buck and Eddie quickly snapped out of their moment and looked at Bobby,
their faces flushed. They exchanged a sheepish smile before hastily signing the required
documents. As they handed the clipboards back to Bobby, Buck couldn't help but feel a sense of
relief and contentment. Despite the unconventional way their relationship had started, they were
now on the same page, ready to face whatever challenges came their way.

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