MY VOICE PAPER

During my childhood I was more shy, quiet, and scared of all new experiences. I think this was

due to my parents being a bit overprotective of me during my early childhood stages, and

always tried to make me focus on my education to become the best version of myself and have

a stable future. As I hit my puberty stage, I became even more preserved as my body started

changing and maturing, and as a result it became hard for me to talk to the people of the

opposite gender or make friends with the opposite gender or even at times making friends in

general. Even though I was very preserved and quiet, I was able to fit in to any crowd I was

thrown in, so I was cool with all the different groups around me but was never able to become

close to anyone or have any close friends. My life was basically school, soccer, home, I found it

very hard to open up to others. Now I am a completely different person, I feel like I was able to

mature and grow past my insecurities, I am more assertive and able to make friends and

connections almost instantly, but I still get intimidated from time to time which puts me back

into my quiet mode.

From a young age, I was in love with soccer, it was more than just a hobby for me. Soccer was

my joy and I really wanted to have a career as a player, unfortunately I didn’t have the chance

to show my abilities as my parents wanted me to focus on my education. Soccer was the reason

I was able to make friends as I felt like I was in my comfort zone, so I was able to speak and

express myself without feeling like I’m uncomfortable.

Having English as my second language and being in a country that I didn’t grow up in definitely

had an effect on my public speaking abilities in addition to the fact the I already had trouble
with speaking to a crowd, I don’t like having the attention on me as it makes me feel

uncomfortable. But I would say that I was more comfortable back home when I was able to talk

in my mother tongue. Even though my first language makes it a bit harder to speak, I am proud

of it and I feel like it gives me a second perspective to what I have to say. What I mean by that is

that sometimes thinking of something I’m trying to say in two languages helps me to first create

the sentence in my head in my language first and by the time I translate it to English in my head

it makes me pause for a second and makes me think twice about what I have to say, which is

useful to make sure I am saying the right thing without offending someone or

miscommunicating what I have to say, but obviously since English isn’t my first language I still

end up not clearly communicating my message.

I see myself as a lion cub as I still haven’t fully found my voice and confidence, but I have the

potential to become a roaring lion and have the ability to lead and talk to large crowds without

feeling uncomfortable or self conscious. The funny part is that I asked my friends and they said

that they perceive me as a honey badger because I always to stand my ground and don’t let

anyone push me around in an argument.

I feel like my friends are usually my shut-up judges, but I don’t let that silence me especially if

its something I truly believe or a fact. The only time where I stop myself is when its something

that I don’t really understand or unaware of, like someone else’s experience in life. But I do

believe this might be an issue I have and something that I need to work on because sometimes

my opinions might offend others or even my friends but for some reason, I still say them

regardless. This might be due to the fact that I was very quiet as a kid and ideas and opinions on
things were always shut down by my friends and family, so now I don’t let that stop and I

always communicate what I have to say. But I certainly think that I should learn when not to say

certain things. I can’t think of a specific scenario where I was silenced, but I do feel like people

are trying to silence me when they talk over me and not let me fully communicate my idea, it

gets me very irritated and makes me feel like I have to speak in a louder and harsher tone to get

my thought across, which something I don’t like doing.

I would say that I have embodied my dad’s character and his way of speech. I try to always carry

my self with a strong posture and a straight back and try to communicate to other with eye

contact.

A person that I admire and is inspired by is Morgen Freeman. I love the calmness in his voice

and would love to one day have his wisdom and be able to talk in a calm manner that lets me

appeal to a crowd when I’m talking. I am also inspired by is Roger Federer, he also has a calm

demeanor and carries himself well physically. I like how both are respected figures and people

listen to what they have to say because of the way they conduct themselves and communicate

what they have to say

The voices and bodies that I tend to judge are voices that are cocky and make everyone around

them feel uncomfortable with their “know it all attitude” even if they are wrong about a topic.

I feel like right now I’m in a transition phase in my life, I used to be very skinny and felt like I

was intimidated by anyone who was larger than me and wouldn’t be able to speak up, but my

mentality and inner voice did not represent my physical appearance. Now I’ve started to go to
the gym and eat healthy to get the appearance that I wish to have and that more closely

represents my mentality and inner voice. I still haven’t reached my targeted appearance, but I

am bigger and much stronger now and don’t feel intimidated by anyone, I feel like I am able to

communicate more to my true self.

English is my second language, so I am heavily influenced by my Arab culture and language as

that is what I often use at home and more accustomed to. So, it often feels hard for me to

communicate idea the way I want to as some things that I think about don’t translate perfectly

into the English language. This causes me to stutter under pressure especially if I’m talking to a

crowd or I take long pauses if I’m in an argument with someone. Sometimes my idea could be

miss interpreted as a result of that and this sometimes it makes me feel unheard and

misunderstood.

I don’t think that I misuse my body but maybe I think that the way I use it is normal to the point

that I don’t realize that I am misusing it, maybe a friend or a family member might have a

different view on how I misuse my body. But after asking a friend, she said that I am neglecting

of my body and don’t allow my self to rest or get the right amount of sleep because I’m very

focused on the future to the point where I don’t realize that I’m neglecting my body.

I think that when I speak, I try too hard to make my accent less apparent to people because I

want to sound like I’m speaking perfect English, I that I realized that that’s a bit unrealistic since

my first language and culture is part of who I am and what makes me different than others.
After I finished my writing, I realized that maybe I didn’t know my self I as much as I thought I

have. The question really made me think, I had to take time and thoroughly think about each

question and have input on my self from friends and family to see how they perceive me. I was

a bit confused with some of the question as I didn’t really think of asking my self those

questions, I thought that I was just a regular guy going through life, but this definitely opened

my eyes to how I see my self and how people perceive me. Even till now I feel like maybe I

didn’t answer some questions correctly even though they were about me, but I guess this how I

always felt about my self, I was always confused about my voice and who I wanted to be and

how I wanted people to see me, and I think this really gave me a new perspective on finding my

voice and body

I chose to draw a book as my present voice and body because my degree is all I am

focused on right now and I feel like this is making me interact with new people less as

most of my time is spent studying and trying to advance my career in hopes of a better

future, and now I feel like I don’t know how to interact with new people properly, and I

feel like I am more awkward when meeting new people.

I chose to draw a soccer ball as my future voice and body because I would like to rediscover

my passion and feel more relaxed and in my comfort zone. Right now, I am so focused on

building a future for myself that I don’t think I had the time to just loosen up and relax and

enjoy playing soccer or maybe even try new hobbies and experiences.