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Л +92 342-1844188 f mujtaba-shahid-806236151

Mujtaba shahid τ Pakistan a mujtabashahid1998@gmail.com


a mujatabazurus
Education

Master of Procrastination University of Laziness


Master’s degree program May 2019 – Present
Thesis: The Art of Last-Minute Panic and Its Impact on Productivity
Succesfully procrastinated and panicked at the last moment
Final Grade: 420/420
Bachelor of Slack Slackers University
Bachelor’s degree program May 2015 – August 2019
Major: Procrastination Studies
Final grade: 69/69

Work Experience

Netflix Inc. 2015 – Present


Professional Couch Potato San Diego, USA
• Expert in binge-watching multiple TV series simultaneously
• Developed innovative techniques to avoid social interaction while watching
• Awarded ”Laziest Employee of the Month” for 12 consecutive months

Procrastinator’s Paradise (small pp) March 2018 – July 2022


Chief Procrastination Officer Austin, Texas
• Led a team of highly skilled procrastinators
• Successfully delayed project deadlines with creative excuses
• Implemented a strategic napping schedule to maximize unproductive hours

Lazy Corporation Summer 2018


Intern of Indolence NYC, New York
• Assisted senior procrastinators in avoiding tasks
• Developed new ways to postpone meetings and ignore emails
• Conducted extensive research on the benefits of coffee breaks and daydreaming

Coursework
Advanced Procrastination Techniques Fall 2020
Professor Delayed Gratification Couch, Dormroom
Learned advanced techniques to postpone tasks until the last possible moment. Topics included strategic dis-
tractions, perfectionism-induced paralysis, and the art of convincing yourself that you work best under pres-
sure.
Mastering the Art of Excuse-Making Fall 2019
Professor Imaginary Circumstances Office, Dean
Explored the art of crafting creative and believable excuses for missed deadlines and unfinished work. Special
emphasis was given to the power of plausible deniability, feigning technical difficulties, and perfecting the ”dog
ate my homework” alibi.
The Science of Last-Minute Panic Spring 2019
Professor Urgency Enthusiast Chair, Dormroom
Examined the psychological and physiological effects of last-minute panic on productivity. Studied the adrenaline-
fueled rush of imminent deadlines, the relationship between panic and creativity, and effective strategies for
harnessing the power of urgency.
Technical skills

Programming Languages JDSL, BobX, BrainF*ck, ColdFusion, Hibernate, HQL

Soft skills

Procrastination Procrastination at an expert level


Avoiding Responsibility Outstanding ability to avoid meetings and responsibilities
Sarcasm Fluent in sarcasm and irony

Awards

World’s Best Napper International Association of Snoozers 2022


Most Creative Excuses Academy of Procrastinators 2021
Gold Medal in Avoiding Responsibilities Olympics of Slackers 2020

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