VGE2E12 Patrick Modiano, La place de l’étoile (1968): suggested translation

Le dimanche matin, il se posta devant le porche de l’église.

On Sunday morning he stationed himself [stood] in front of the church Commentaire [1]: If you’re not sure how
to translate ‘se poster’, just use the verb
Vers onze heures, une limousine noire déboucha sur la place, et son cœur battit à rompre. ‘stand’

At around 11 o’clock, a black limousine drove [came] into the square and his heart began Commentaire [2]: Here it’s as if the car is
actually driving itself ! It’s the same for
to race. ‘the door opened / closed’ : the human agent is
erased.
Une femme blonde s’avançait vers lui, mais il n’osait la regarder.
A blond woman was walking towards him, but he did not dare [to] look at her
Il pénétra à sa suite dans l’église et tenta de maîtriser son émotion.
He followed her into the church and tried to keep/stay/remain calm/ to contain himself/ Commentaire [3]: Note how the French
verb (pénétrer) is rendered by the proprosition
keep his emotions in check ‘into’ and ‘sa suite’ by the verb ‘to follow ».
Commentaire [4]: Lots of possibilities
Comme son profile était pur ! […] On eût dit la marquise de Fogeire-Jusquiames. here !
Her profile/ face was so perfect! She looked like the Marquess of Fogeire-Jusquiames. Commentaire [5]: Pure is quite a vague
term,
La même chevelure blonde, le même port de tête, le même cou, si fragile. […] Commentaire [6]: Titles (King, Queen
etc.) take a capital letter in English when they
She had the same blond hair, the same way of holding her head and the same incredibly refer to a particular person
delicate neck/ the same neck, which was so delicate Commentaire [7]: ‘Port’ has to be
translated using a phrase
Au sortir de la messe, il traversa en courant la place de l’église. Commentaire [8]: here ‘incrediby’
translates the idea of ‘so’
Coming out of Mass,/ When he came out… he ran across the square in front of the church
Commentaire [9]: as note 3 above,
Quand la limousine noire ne fut qu’à vingt mètres de lui, il s’écroula au beau milieu de la traverser is rendered by a preposition
(‘across’)
chaussée et simula un évanouissement.
When the black limousine was just twenty yards away, he collapsed in the middle of the Commentaire [10]: if possible, use
imperial measurements
road and pretended to have fainted/ he’d fainted. 1 yard = 1 metre ; 3 feet = 1 yard
1 mile = 1.5 km
Il entendit crisser les freins. Une voix douce modula : 1 pund = 0.5kg etc.

He heard the brakes screech, and a soft voice which said/ uttered
—Gérard faites monter ce pauvre jeune homme ! Un malaise sans doute ! Il a le teint si
pâle. Nous allons lui préparer un bon grog au château.
‘Gerard, get this poor young man into the car ! He must have fainted. He’s so pale ! We’ll
fix him a nice hot toddy/ good little grog/ back at the house/ manor.’ Commentaire [11]: ‘nice’ is often used
with bevcerages – ‘ nice cup of tea’ for
instance.