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GLOBAL
By Connor Simpson
A DV E RT I S E M E N T
1 of 4 9/19/23, 15:50
Canadian Parliament Prepares for Zombie Attacks After Un... https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2013/02/...
overrun by zombies, the �ailing, hungry, murderous undead would not be welcome
on the frostier side of the border.
A DV E RT I S E M E N T
Actual member of Parliament Pat Martin asked if the Canadian government was
working with the U.S. to ensure Canadian citizens would not suffer should a zombie
outbreak ever occur. e province of Quebec just announced it would conduct a
discussion on how to handle a zombie apocalypse during a public safety symposium
next week. Martin also commended the United States's Atlanta-based Centers for
Disease Control for having measures in place for a zombie apocalypse, which the
CDC has explained thoroughly.
A DV E RT I S E M E N T
799
Big Shoulders
Smokehouse Ready to
Heat Pork or Chicken
And that's when the magic happened. Canada's Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird
stood up and, with a straight face, assured that zombies would not be welcome in
2 of 4 9/19/23, 15:50
Canadian Parliament Prepares for Zombie Attacks After Un... https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2013/02/...
Canada should the U.S. devolve into a zombie wasteland, just like in that new Brad
Pitt movie. "I want to assure this member and all Canadians that I am dead-icated to
ensuring this never happens. I want to say categorigally to this member, and through
him to all Canadians, that under the leadership of this Prime Minister Canada will
never become a safe haven for zombies, ever." e room burst into applause.
3 of 4 9/19/23, 15:50
Canadian Parliament Prepares for Zombie Attacks After Un... https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2013/02/...
4 of 4 9/19/23, 15:50