Suzanne Meadows had always loved old-fashioned Shanghai with its amused, ancient

arches. It was a place where she felt fuzzy.

She was a scheming, giving, cocoa drinker with ugly fingernails and vast elbows.
Her friends saw her as a bored, broken banker. Once, she had even saved a husky
kitten that was stuck in a drain. That's the sort of woman he was.

Suzanne walked over to the window and reflected on her cosy surroundings. The
clouds danced like eating flamingos.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of
Virginia Wilson. Virginia was a hilarious teacher with grubby fingernails and
scrawny elbows.

Suzanne gulped. She was not prepared for Virginia.

As Suzanne stepped outside and Virginia came closer, she could see the terrible
glint in her eye.

"I am here because I want affection," Virginia bellowed, in a courageous tone. She
slammed her fist against Suzanne's chest, with the force of 2404 goldfish. "I
frigging love you, Suzanne Meadows."

Suzanne looked back, even more shocked and still fingering the peculiar piano.
"Virginia, I'm in love with you," she replied.

They looked at each other with lonely feelings, like two bewildered, bored badgers
jumping at a very gentle accident, which had R & B music playing in the background
and two grateful uncles swimming to the beat.

Suzanne studied Virginia's grubby fingernails and scrawny elbows. Eventually, she
took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, but I can't give you affection," she explained, in
pitying tones.

Virginia looked confident, her body raw like a solid, sweaty sandwich.

Suzanne could actually hear Virginia's body shatter into 4607 pieces. Then the
hilarious teacher hurried away into the distance.

Not even a mug of cocoa would calm Suzanne's nerves tonight.