English Small Talk at Work

3 Types of Questions for Successful Conversations

(FULL TRANSCRIPT)

For better or worse, it isn’t possible to introduce yourself to someone new and instantly
become friends with them. That really wouldn’t make sense. Would it?
You can’t be friends with someone you don’t know yet.
So how do you make a transition from introducing yourself to a new team member, to
having a weekly lunch date on Tuesdays with someone you work with?
The answer to that is simple. Small talk.
Now I know we all hate small talk, or we say that we hate small talk. We have this idea
that it’s something hard, stressful, uncomfortable, boring, or even meaningless.
And sure, it’s true. Small talk tends to be polite, but unimportant conversation.
We also worry over what kinds of questions we can ask or what is appropriate in small
talk.

I’m Annemarie with Speak Confident English. This is exactly where you want to be
every week to get the confidence you want for your life and work in English.
In today’s video, you’re going to learn how to make small talk in English, easy, fun, and
successful so that you can get to know a new coworker and develop better
relationships with the people that you see at work regularly.
By the end of this lesson today, you’ll be ready to start asking questions at work and
enjoy conversations with your coworkers.
To get started, let’s do a quick recap on why small talk is so important and how it can
help you develop relationships in English.
Small talk is the pathway to learning something new about a coworker, finding a
meaningful connection with someone, discovering a potential new friendship and
having fun in a conversation.
So whether you want to get to know one of your coworkers better, or you’ve just
introduced yourself to a new team member, here are three different ways you can start
small talk conversations successfully, and I’ll include examples along the way.
Option number one is start with a compliment and then add a connected question.
This is definitely a strategy Americans love, and this is what it sounds like. I love that
sweater. Is it new? Those are cute shoes. Where’d you get them? That drawing is
fantastic. Are you an artist on the side?
This is a strategy several of my students who live in the United States have noticed
and they thought it was a little bit strange.
One of my students asked me, why do Americans always want to know where I bought
something? And the truth is that isn’t really what we want to know.
Perhaps sometimes we want to know where you got that dress or those shoes, but
what we’re really doing is trying to start a conversation. And we do that by
complimenting something we like. And then following it up with a question.
In that process, we start to learn something about you. Of course, if I ask you where
you bought those shoes, I might learn what store you like to shop at. And maybe it’s a
store I also like to shop at. It may seem small, strange, and insignificant, but the only
way to develop a relationship is to find those initial connections, however small they
might be.
And this strategy helps us start those small talk conversations in a really polite and
positive way.

The second strategy you can use for small talk is to get the conversation flowing with
engaging questions.
This is easier than it sounds.
We’re all familiar with questions like how long have you worked here? How long have
you been an accountant? Do you like working here? How was your weekend? Those
are all common questions. In fact, that last one may be the most common question
asked on Monday mornings.
But the problem with all of those is that they lead to very simple or one word answers.
For example, how long have you worked here? Four years. How long have you been
an accountant? Seven years. Do you like working here? Yes. How was your weekend?
Fine.
It’s really hard to have a successful conversation when someone just gives us a one-
word answer.
A better approach is to use questions that encourage someone to talk and talk and talk
and talk. The more someone else talks, the more we learn and it’s easier to find more
engaging in depth questions and find connections.
Here’s an example. Last week I shared a lesson on how to successfully introduce
yourself to new people at work. Let’s use an example introduction from that lesson and
see how we can follow it up with a successful, engaging small talk question.
The introduction may start with, “Hey, Rebecca. Nice to meet you. I’m Sarah. I’m the
new part-time accountant here. How long have you been at the company?”
Now with that first question, it’s very possible for Rebecca to give a short one word
answer and she probably will. She might say I’ve been here seven years or simply
seven years.
After that short question, a better small talk question that encourages conversation
might be, what do you like about working here? It’s really difficult to give a one word,
answer to that question.
Not only does that question, encourage conversation, but you’ll also learn something
interesting and get more details about Rebecca and her experience working at this
company.
Similarly, if you’re talking to a new coworker who has recently moved to this particular
city, you could ask how’s the new neighborhood and the response could be it’s good.
It’s fine.
A better question might be, what do you like about your new neighborhood? With that
question, anything is possible. Not only are you encouraging the conversation, but you
may find some wonderful connections or maybe even learn something new about the
city where you live.
Another example. Of course, on Monday mornings, you could ask your coworker, how
was your weekend? And the answer is usually it was good. It was fine.
Or you could start a Monday morning conversation with, so what kinds of things do you
do on the weekends for fun when you’re not at work?
Once again, the answers to that are endless and you will certainly learn something new
and interesting about your coworker.
When you ask engaging questions, not only will you get longer answers, but the
conversation will be more fun and it will be easier to keep it going with follow-up
questions.

And finally, the third way to start successful small talk at work is to ask for advice or get
someone’s opinion.
Now you may be thinking Annemarie is that really small talk? Isn’t giving my opinion
more personal?
My answer to that is yes and no. If I ask for advice on buying a house or marriage, or if
I ask your opinion on a political candidate, those are definitely more personal topics
and would not be appropriate for small talk.
But asking for your favorite pizza place on a Friday night, or where’s the best place to
get coffee near the office or asking if you recommend Barcelona for a great vacation
spot, because I know that you went to Barcelona last summer?
These are all appropriate topics for small talk. And they’re also asking for someone’s
advice or their opinion.
Everyone loves to give their advice, their recommendations and their opinions. So
these are extremely successful ways to get a conversation going.
I’ll give you a couple of examples. Here’s how you might include a question on
someone’s advice or opinion when you’re meeting a new coworker:
“Hey Rebecca, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Sarah, the new part-time accountant here. I’ll
admit that I’m a little nervous on my first day, but I’m really excited to get to know
everyone. And I’d love to find out where the best places to get coffee around here.
What’s your favorite near the office?”
Not only does that example include an introduction following the structure I shared in
my lesson last week, but it also ends with a question seeking advice or someone’s
opinion about a great coffee shop near the office.
Here’s another example. If you’re chatting with a coworker, you already know well,
“Hey Sue. You know how my husband and I get pizza every Friday for kind of tired of
the same old place. What are your thoughts on the best pizza in town?”
Or here’s another, “Hey Sue. Didn’t you go to Barcelona last summer? I’m thinking
about it for our next vacation. I’d love to get your thoughts on it.”
Notice in those examples, I didn’t ask where do you like to get pizza or do you
recommend Barcelona asking those questions could lead to a very simple one word
answer or even a simple yes or no.
Instead I’m asking for details, advice and opinions by starting with what are your
thoughts on or what are your thoughts about that is an excellent, simple way to ask
questions on someone’s opinion and to get more in-depth answers.
And with that, you have three simple ways to ask small talk questions that make
conversations easy, successful, and fun in English.
As a quick recap, strategy number one is start with a compliment and ask a connected
question, strategy two get the conversation flowing with engaging questions and
strategy three, ask for someone’s advice or opinions.
Now it’s time for you to practice. I would love for you to share some of your favorite
small talk questions.
And then I have a second challenge for you. After you share your small talk questions
below the video, look at the questions other people ask and practice answering them.
Not only will you learn a variety of small talk questions to help make your conversations
successful, but you’ll also get practice in how to answer them as well.
If you found this week’s lesson useful, I would love to know, and you can tell me in
three simple ways, number one, give this lesson a thumbs up here on YouTube and
subscribe to this channel so you never miss one of my Confident English lessons.
Number two, if you know someone else who struggles with small talk in English, share
this lesson with them, and you can do that easily by sending it via email or sharing it on
Facebook, and finally be sure to practice and share your examples with me.
Have a wonderful week. Thank you so much for joining me. And I look forward to
seeing you next time for your Confident English lesson.

It’s time to practice and get comfortable with English small talk questions.
Share your favorite in the comments below.
It may be a question you learned from today’s lesson or a question you’ve learned
previously. I’d love to hear your examples.
After you share, review comments from others in the Confident English Community to
learn more small talk question options.
Have a fantastic Confident English Wednesday!
~ Annemarie