Individuals like these often receive much praise; they’re well-liked and

appreciated and play vital roles in other people’s lives. But on a deeper level,
there’s a selfish element to their actions in many cases, which they may not even
be aware of. At the core of their very being lies a deep desire to be accepted,
validated, and not be left alone. Therefore, their people-pleasing doesn’t come
purely from a wish for other people’s happiness. It’s transactional. I do
everything you want; I’ll be everything you want me to be, and, in return, you like
me, accept me, validate me, and stay by my side. Let’s first begin defining the
people pleaser. Several definitions of the people pleaser exist. I found the most
straightforward and open definition in the Merriam-Webster dictionary, describing
it as: “someone or something that pleases or wants to please people.” But this
point of view doesn’t say anything about the motives of such an individual. Another
definition I found in the Cambridge Dictionary stating: “someone who cares a lot
about whether other people like them, and always wants others to approve of their
actions.” The latter definition fits the narrative of this video. From the
viewpoint of this essay, a people-pleaser is someone who wants to please people to
gain their approval and validation.