But with my father, it was slightly different, as he attributed his children’s

achievements primarily to himself, as it was always because of him, whether it was

because of his help or guidance or simply because we were his offspring, that we
succeeded. However, he rarely expressed satisfaction with our accomplishments
towards us or that he was proud of us. Yet, he wasn’t eager to brag about us toward
anyone he knew. In hindsight, it was all about him. We were his mere extensions and
served to enrich the image of success and grandiosity he wanted to display. I
remember, during high school, when I skipped math classes, he accused me of “making
him look bad.” Go figure. So, for many years, even until my late twenties, my
primary purpose was to make my father happy, which, ironically, would never happen.
Now I look back on how futile, how destructive this whole dynamic had been. The
relentless pursuit of pleasing others is a dangerous trap that can lead to the
erosion of one’s individuality. People pleasers try to fit the molds others
prescribe to meet external expectations, a pursuit that obscures their genuine
needs and desires. This form of self-abandonment not only alienates them from their
true selves; it can also result in unhealthy, unbalanced relationships, as they’re
based on the dynamic of one person constantly striving to please the other.