WHAT MOTIVATES YOU EVERY MORNING?

I used to be very hesitant, timid, idle and clumsy– a girl full of defects.
Growing up, all I did was to sit still and did what my parents told me to. During my
elementary and secondary school years, I missed the chance of making friends in the
first 2 years due to struggling with the lack of confidence. The fear of being judged by
other people made a great impact on my being so careful about my words and actions
towards them. Hardly did I had a chance to actually express my genuine viewpoints,
and hardly did I have the courage to give a rebuttal of anyone’s opinions.
All I wished back then, was if only the night had lasted a little longer. I did not really
expect much of welcoming a new day, or rather, I never did it properly. The moment
when sunlight shined through the windows to the bed, when I frowned and slowly
opened my eyes, I would have to put on an invisible cover, which had become
indispensable to my daily routine, like a fulcrum of a foolish belief that I wouldn’t get
hurt or…hurt anyone else.
Is it because of the miserable, hazardous world that made me cower? Or is it me who
refused to reach for embracing wonders?
Eighth grade, I was invited to join a newly formed english club as one of the
administrators. The process of working and interacting with other members really did
influence my ways of thinking and communicating. Bit by bit, everything began to
change. Due to the the club’s new establishment, we had to do everything for every
session, ranging from club’s promotion, material preparation, game creation and
hosting, which required us to always be innovative and discipline as well as constantly
cultivate our collaboration, carefulness and a high sense of responsibility. Ninth grade,
I won some english speaking contests. Tenth grade, I became the vice president of that
club and started to get involved in a debating tournament.
My life witnessed a radical transformation ever since that day. People may wonder
how and why. I would proudly say : “It was mom”. Yes, it was her who pulled me out
of the negative chaos of mixed feelings. Giving up used to be my first choice in doing
something however trivial it was. I did receive encouragements from other people, but
mom was the only one that stayed to lend an ear and give support. It could be
something she was expert in, or it could be her totally new experience, as long as it
could help pushing me forward, she was willing to help. I was frustrated with myself
for not realizing it sooner, and for the selfish notion that I had kept for all those years. I
craved for change, and seemingly, God wanted to bring that change into reality
through the joining of that club.
Up to now, I would say that I have gained pretty much success in the self-development
process, coming from the first steps of encountering different individuals, taking part
in multiple contests and experiencing the beauty of new cultures. The more progress I
made, the more I feel grateful for everything, though tangible in reality or in the mind.
Every morning when I wake up, my soul is filled with excitement, expecting to
achieving more goals in life. I am ready to fail, as well as to stand up and keep moving
forward. All in all, life is a test, and I would do it right, even if it takes a thousand or a
million times.